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Anaconda, Be Like, and Dude: 12:03pm: hey gorgeous 12:05pm: how are youuuu? 12:08pm: you there? 12:10pm: hello? Babe? 12:13pm: HELLOOOoo 12:16pm: fucking slut, you're ugly anyways I mean at some point you need to know when not to stop shooting. If you shoot 0-9 from three, donā€™t be steph curry. Be like Hassan Whiteside in the fourth and the 4th quarter and take your seat young man. This same logic can be used with people. If itā€™s NOT working just stop. They say ā€œyou miss 100% of the shots you donā€™t takeā€ but no need to keep hoisting boulders from ya motherā€™s basement King. Patience is everything when trying to secure anything in life. I tried to teach that to my homie Martin. He ainā€™t neva had no Daddy. Boy been patient for him to come from Walmart but we know for far too many of us has waited that wait bruv never coming back. Every dude know a guy who talks about a new girl he bout to pull you know his game weak like Krillin. Iā€™m like ā€œgive it some time bro plus she light skin it takes 2 business day to generate a responseā€ She ainā€™t know he liked him but this was the first step to success. I tried to tell him be different. Donā€™t text her ā€œwydā€ call her and ask about her day girls like that shit when dudes go out they way. This boy took it to the extreme. This man called and left a good 26 voice mails-like this some type of 1990ā€™s rnb video. She ainā€™t answer his call all weekend. I was there for a few, Boy start apologizing for things he ainā€™t even do. ā€œSorry your dog died when you was younger I shoulda been thereā€. I shook my head for the real ones who got some balls to hold onto. Message after message he poured his heart out about he type of dude he was. Nigga STRAIGHT Lying through his teeth. After the 10th they were all pathetic. Have some pride bro. Nigga started getting mad and roasting her. He wrote a whole thesis telling her off. come to find out on Monday her grandfather died and she was at the funeral. This man done over shot and got her killed his chances with her. She told her brother about it. That man stretched Martin till next Tuesday. No literally he a accordion when he walks now. Pray for Martin.
Anaconda, Be Like, and Dude: 12:03pm: hey gorgeous 12:05pm: how are youuuu? 12:08pm: you there? 12:10pm: hello? Babe? 12:13pm: HELLOOOoo 12:16pm: fucking slut, you're ugly anyways I mean at some point you need to know when not to stop shooting. If you shoot 0-9 from three, donā€™t be steph curry. Be like Hassan Whiteside in the fourth and the 4th quarter and take your seat young man. This same logic can be used with people. If itā€™s NOT working just stop. They say ā€œyou miss 100% of the shots you donā€™t takeā€ but no need to keep hoisting boulders from ya motherā€™s basement King. Patience is everything when trying to secure anything in life. I tried to teach that to my homie Martin. He ainā€™t neva had no Daddy. Boy been patient for him to come from Walmart but we know for far too many of us has waited that wait bruv never coming back. Every dude know a guy who talks about a new girl he bout to pull you know his game weak like Krillin. Iā€™m like ā€œgive it some time bro plus she light skin it takes 2 business day to generate a responseā€ She ainā€™t know he liked him but this was the first step to success. I tried to tell him be different. Donā€™t text her ā€œwydā€ call her and ask about her day girls like that shit when dudes go out they way. This boy took it to the extreme. This man called and left a good 26 voice mails-like this some type of 1990ā€™s rnb video. She ainā€™t answer his call all weekend. I was there for a few, Boy start apologizing for things he ainā€™t even do. ā€œSorry your dog died when you was younger I shoulda been thereā€. I shook my head for the real ones who got some balls to hold onto. Message after message he poured his heart out about he type of dude he was. Nigga STRAIGHT Lying through his teeth. After the 10th they were all pathetic. Have some pride bro. Nigga started getting mad and roasting her. He wrote a whole thesis telling her off. come to find out on Monday her grandfather died and she was at the funeral. This man done over shot and got her killed his chances with her. She told her brother about it. That man stretched Martin till next Tuesday. No literally he a accordion when he walks now. Pray for Martin.

I mean at some point you need to know when not to stop shooting. If you shoot 0-9 from three, donā€™t be steph curry. Be like Hassan Whiteside...

Ass, Bruh, and Children: When my mom start getting an attitude w people jus tryna do they job OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exaggeration. So all 50 of these idiots decide to dine in, even though the store was closing in 15 minutes at this point (btw most of them were white teenagers, not adults). So yeah, the rest of the store was preparing to close because it was so late, and there was only one person in the kitchen, so food was being made pretty slow. So all these fucking teenagers and shit are complaining to ME. ME. NIGGA I AM NOT MAKING YOUR FUCKING FOOD. YOURE THE ONE WHO HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO WALK IN HERE 30 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING. ā€œDude weā€™ve been waiting forever for our food.ā€ Nigga Iā€™ve been wanting to RKO though this table since you walked in, shutchobitchassup. AND THEN SOME OTHER BULLSHIT HAPPENS. THESE FUCKING 18 YEAR OLD COLLEGE STUDENTS DECIDE TO FUCKING GET IN THE CHILDRENS PLAY AREA AND CRAWL AROUND. MY NIGGA WHO RAISED YOUUUU. IM GIVING YO WHOLE BLOODLINE THESE FUCKING HANds NOW. So out of the 6 employees that are still here, one of us has to go over there and tell those dumbasses to get out of there. So one of my coworkers go over and tell them that they have to get out. THEN THESE CUNTS SAY: ā€œBut I meet the height requirement.ā€ NIGGA THE HEIGHT FOR FUCKING CHILDREN? IDC IF YOU BUILT LIKE FUCKING X OL SHORT ASS NIGGA, THIS IS A CHILDRENS AREA FOR CHILDREN ONLY. ISTG IF THEY WALK IN THE STORE TODAY (I work 3-9), Iā€™m losing my shit. Yeah anyway that was my rant
Ass, Bruh, and Children: When my mom start getting an attitude w people jus tryna do they job OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exaggeration. So all 50 of these idiots decide to dine in, even though the store was closing in 15 minutes at this point (btw most of them were white teenagers, not adults). So yeah, the rest of the store was preparing to close because it was so late, and there was only one person in the kitchen, so food was being made pretty slow. So all these fucking teenagers and shit are complaining to ME. ME. NIGGA I AM NOT MAKING YOUR FUCKING FOOD. YOURE THE ONE WHO HAD THE FUCKING AUDACITY TO WALK IN HERE 30 MINUTES BEFORE CLOSING. ā€œDude weā€™ve been waiting forever for our food.ā€ Nigga Iā€™ve been wanting to RKO though this table since you walked in, shutchobitchassup. AND THEN SOME OTHER BULLSHIT HAPPENS. THESE FUCKING 18 YEAR OLD COLLEGE STUDENTS DECIDE TO FUCKING GET IN THE CHILDRENS PLAY AREA AND CRAWL AROUND. MY NIGGA WHO RAISED YOUUUU. IM GIVING YO WHOLE BLOODLINE THESE FUCKING HANds NOW. So out of the 6 employees that are still here, one of us has to go over there and tell those dumbasses to get out of there. So one of my coworkers go over and tell them that they have to get out. THEN THESE CUNTS SAY: ā€œBut I meet the height requirement.ā€ NIGGA THE HEIGHT FOR FUCKING CHILDREN? IDC IF YOU BUILT LIKE FUCKING X OL SHORT ASS NIGGA, THIS IS A CHILDRENS AREA FOR CHILDREN ONLY. ISTG IF THEY WALK IN THE STORE TODAY (I work 3-9), Iā€™m losing my shit. Yeah anyway that was my rant

OooOOOooOOoOoO I BE WANTING TO SNAP PEOPLE NECKS BRUH. Yesterday I was working 5-10 and at about 9:30, about 50 people walked in, no exagger...

Apparently, Fuck You, and Fucking: The trees say fuck you I SPEAK FOR THE TREES adiostoreadumb: My snapchats are literally the best AldenRants 29-50 @spnsalsa asked me to rant about dream clichƩs! MMBDOHNN GEHD ME SCHHTARBDED, sorry, all of my teeth inexplicably just fell out. NOW THAT THAT PREDICTABLE REFERENCE IS OUT OF THE WAY let's get down to the nitty gritty of our sleepy psyche! THE TIME I'M ASLEEP IS APPARENTLY THE TIME WHICH MY BRAIN BELIEVES IS THE APPROPRIATE OPPORTUNITY TO COMPENSATE FOR ALL THE MEANINGLESS HUMDRUM I PUT IT THROUGH THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Like, thanks, Brain, that'd be great and all if you weren't a fucking lunatic! I SHOULD KNOW! YOU THINK I'M HAVING FUN WHEN REALLY I ENVISION YOU AS FREDDIE KRUEGER GETTING BOOED OFF THE STAGE AT A POETRY SLAM FOR CONFUSING EVERYBODY. EVERY NIGHT I GO TO SLEEP IS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT I'M POSSIBLY GETTING SENTENCED TO A NIGHT IN TWILIGHT ZONE WHERE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MAKES SENSE. HELP ME OUT A LITTLE WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. AT LEAST GET CREATIVE. I DON'T NEED TO BE WALTZING AROUND IN PUBLIC MISSING MY PANTS ANY MOMENT I LOOK DOWN YOU SICK FUCK. I DON'T REQUIRE DOORS THAT ARE 3 INCHES AWAY FROM THE DOORFRAME WHEN I TRY TO CLOSE THEM BECAUSE THE MONSTER YOUUUU CONCOCTED, MIGHT I ADD, IS CHASING ME. AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY BLIND IN MY DREAMS WHERE EVERYTHING IS SO DARK THAT I'M LEFT WITH NOTHING TO DO IN MY DREAMS EXCEPT FIND LAMPS TO TURN ON!?!? BUT PLOT TWIST! None of the lights I turn on help because FUCK ME THAT'S WHY! And DON'T you go blaming it on me being like "It's because you're stressed :)" OR "It's because you're unbearably insecure about your current situation in life :)" OR "It's because you don't floss :)" I'M AS CALM AND COLLECTED AS CAN BE
Apparently, Fuck You, and Fucking: The trees say fuck you I SPEAK FOR THE TREES adiostoreadumb: My snapchats are literally the best AldenRants 29-50 @spnsalsa asked me to rant about dream clichƩs! MMBDOHNN GEHD ME SCHHTARBDED, sorry, all of my teeth inexplicably just fell out. NOW THAT THAT PREDICTABLE REFERENCE IS OUT OF THE WAY let's get down to the nitty gritty of our sleepy psyche! THE TIME I'M ASLEEP IS APPARENTLY THE TIME WHICH MY BRAIN BELIEVES IS THE APPROPRIATE OPPORTUNITY TO COMPENSATE FOR ALL THE MEANINGLESS HUMDRUM I PUT IT THROUGH THROUGHOUT THE DAY. Like, thanks, Brain, that'd be great and all if you weren't a fucking lunatic! I SHOULD KNOW! YOU THINK I'M HAVING FUN WHEN REALLY I ENVISION YOU AS FREDDIE KRUEGER GETTING BOOED OFF THE STAGE AT A POETRY SLAM FOR CONFUSING EVERYBODY. EVERY NIGHT I GO TO SLEEP IS JUST ANOTHER NIGHT I'M POSSIBLY GETTING SENTENCED TO A NIGHT IN TWILIGHT ZONE WHERE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING MAKES SENSE. HELP ME OUT A LITTLE WE'RE IN THIS TOGETHER WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT. AT LEAST GET CREATIVE. I DON'T NEED TO BE WALTZING AROUND IN PUBLIC MISSING MY PANTS ANY MOMENT I LOOK DOWN YOU SICK FUCK. I DON'T REQUIRE DOORS THAT ARE 3 INCHES AWAY FROM THE DOORFRAME WHEN I TRY TO CLOSE THEM BECAUSE THE MONSTER YOUUUU CONCOCTED, MIGHT I ADD, IS CHASING ME. AND I SURE AS HELL DON'T NEED TO BE LEGALLY BLIND IN MY DREAMS WHERE EVERYTHING IS SO DARK THAT I'M LEFT WITH NOTHING TO DO IN MY DREAMS EXCEPT FIND LAMPS TO TURN ON!?!? BUT PLOT TWIST! None of the lights I turn on help because FUCK ME THAT'S WHY! And DON'T you go blaming it on me being like "It's because you're stressed :)" OR "It's because you're unbearably insecure about your current situation in life :)" OR "It's because you don't floss :)" I'M AS CALM AND COLLECTED AS CAN BE

AldenRants 29-50 @spnsalsa asked me to rant about dream clichƩs! MMBDOHNN GEHD ME SCHHTARBDED, sorry, all of my teeth inexplicably just fell...

Arthur, Beautiful, and Beyonce: WAS NEVER REAL...EVER SHUFFLE PLAY YAS Elia$ha, JpJiggs YAS BOOBOO Yariv E BOOBOO/Traffic Jam It's Like Kellerkind Basement Story Our Relationship Doctor Echo presents: Solange St. Croix. E... Thanks Moonstar88 Popcorn Babe Styx-Cornerstone My Pink Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra Princess FLETCHER Finding Fletcher EP Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY Damn Matchbox Twenty The Matchbox Twenty... She Can Sing Jorge Cazalla Luscious Dreams Dang! EXPLICIT Mac Miller, Anderson .Paak The She's Pretty Blind to Reason The Road Home Too HONNE Coastal Love EP Mine EXPLICIT BeyoncĆ©, Drake BEYONCƉ [Plati.. Is 3LAU, Yeah Boy Is It Love Lauren Men I Trust Lauren Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY Please Don't She Makes War Direction of Travel Make gugudan Act.2 Narcissus Assumptions Dawin Errors Very 1.0.1 . miss me? Separately Albert Cummings, Tommy Shannon Blues... Single The Neighbourhood Wiped Out! Iwo Up Dharma Down Bipolar Different Worlds Pupil Beautiful Machines Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY VTC IAm James Arthur Back from the Edge The Father Jake Hamilton Father of Lights: Music Insp... Thanks Moonstar88 Popcorn Buddy ltasca . Open to Chance No Problem Diplo, My Name Is Kay, Flinch No Problem Buddy ltasca. Open to Chance BRAVO! UP1OTION BRAVO! thank YOUUUU Zep Tepi poot loops vol 1 Home Browse Search Radio Your Music <p><a href="http://camrenrelated.tumblr.com/post/159831160666/the-camren-playlist" class="tumblr_blog">camrenrelated</a>:</p><blockquote><p>The Camren playlist šŸ˜‚</p></blockquote>
Arthur, Beautiful, and Beyonce: WAS NEVER REAL...EVER SHUFFLE PLAY YAS Elia$ha, JpJiggs YAS BOOBOO Yariv E BOOBOO/Traffic Jam It's Like Kellerkind Basement Story Our Relationship Doctor Echo presents: Solange St. Croix. E... Thanks Moonstar88 Popcorn Babe Styx-Cornerstone My Pink Walter Mitty and His Makeshift Orchestra Princess FLETCHER Finding Fletcher EP Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY Damn Matchbox Twenty The Matchbox Twenty... She Can Sing Jorge Cazalla Luscious Dreams Dang! EXPLICIT Mac Miller, Anderson .Paak The She's Pretty Blind to Reason The Road Home Too HONNE Coastal Love EP Mine EXPLICIT BeyoncĆ©, Drake BEYONCƉ [Plati.. Is 3LAU, Yeah Boy Is It Love Lauren Men I Trust Lauren Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY Please Don't She Makes War Direction of Travel Make gugudan Act.2 Narcissus Assumptions Dawin Errors Very 1.0.1 . miss me? Separately Albert Cummings, Tommy Shannon Blues... Single The Neighbourhood Wiped Out! Iwo Up Dharma Down Bipolar Different Worlds Pupil Beautiful Machines Home Browse Search Radio Your Music WAS NEVER REAL... EVER SHUFFLE PLAY VTC IAm James Arthur Back from the Edge The Father Jake Hamilton Father of Lights: Music Insp... Thanks Moonstar88 Popcorn Buddy ltasca . Open to Chance No Problem Diplo, My Name Is Kay, Flinch No Problem Buddy ltasca. Open to Chance BRAVO! UP1OTION BRAVO! thank YOUUUU Zep Tepi poot loops vol 1 Home Browse Search Radio Your Music <p><a href="http://camrenrelated.tumblr.com/post/159831160666/the-camren-playlist" class="tumblr_blog">camrenrelated</a>:</p><blockquote><p>The Camren playlist šŸ˜‚</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://camrenrelated.tumblr.com/post/159831160666/the-camren-playlist" class="tumblr_blog">camrenrelated</a>:</p><blockquote><p>...

Ass, Condom, and Dunk: taylorswift: descendintoinsanity tayortreasures: since it's been said that ray bans (cough, Cheap Sunglasses in my case) and red lips turn a person into Tayor l decided to give itatry Are you trying to tell me that that isn't Taylor Swift? Lol I thought that was me. @_brightskies22_ asked me to rant about tea bags! WELL BOY HOWDY! DON'T GET ME STARTED! My day was going sooooo fine UNTIL I had to maKe teeeea!!!! I CAN'T THINK OF A MORE IMPRACTICAL WAY TO MAKE TEA THAN VIA BAAAAG. First, you've gotta get that water SCALDING HOT or else the tea won't iNfUsE!1!11!! NEXT, YOU'VE GOTTA AVOID BURNING YOURSELF CUZ THAT MUG YOU'RE USING IS GONNA GET HOT AS FUCK IT AINT GONNA PROTECT YOUUUU!!! YOU ON YOUR OWN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO NEXT???? YOU TAKE THAT TEA BAG AND DUNK IT IN THAT HELLISH DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE FOR TEN HOURS BEING *leans forward and whispers* extra careful NOT TO SPLASH YOURSELF WITH THE FIERY WRATH OF POSEIDON AND YOU TELL YOURSELF "This is gonna taste so fulfilling!!!šŸ˜ŠšŸ”«" WHEN IN ACTUALITY, YOUR END RESULT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE A WEAK ASS WATERED DOWN MUG OF TEA AND A SOPPING WET HERBAL BALLSACK OF ALL THE REMAINING TEA RESIDUE THAT YOU'VE NOW GOTTA FISH OUT OF THE TEA that you DON'T EVEN WANT NOW. JUST RIP OPEN THAT BAG AND POUR THAT MOTHER FUCKER INTO A CLEAR GLASS IN YOUR NATURALLY LIT KITCHEN. BOOM, I just gave you a new Instagram pic for your account. For. Free. THAT TEA BAG WANTS YOUR INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT TO GO BELLY UP. DON'T LET THOSE AESTHETIC CONDOMS WIN
Ass, Condom, and Dunk: taylorswift: descendintoinsanity tayortreasures: since it's been said that ray bans (cough, Cheap Sunglasses in my case) and red lips turn a person into Tayor l decided to give itatry Are you trying to tell me that that isn't Taylor Swift? Lol I thought that was me. @_brightskies22_ asked me to rant about tea bags! WELL BOY HOWDY! DON'T GET ME STARTED! My day was going sooooo fine UNTIL I had to maKe teeeea!!!! I CAN'T THINK OF A MORE IMPRACTICAL WAY TO MAKE TEA THAN VIA BAAAAG. First, you've gotta get that water SCALDING HOT or else the tea won't iNfUsE!1!11!! NEXT, YOU'VE GOTTA AVOID BURNING YOURSELF CUZ THAT MUG YOU'RE USING IS GONNA GET HOT AS FUCK IT AINT GONNA PROTECT YOUUUU!!! YOU ON YOUR OWN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT YOU DO NEXT???? YOU TAKE THAT TEA BAG AND DUNK IT IN THAT HELLISH DIHYDROGEN MONOXIDE FOR TEN HOURS BEING *leans forward and whispers* extra careful NOT TO SPLASH YOURSELF WITH THE FIERY WRATH OF POSEIDON AND YOU TELL YOURSELF "This is gonna taste so fulfilling!!!šŸ˜ŠšŸ”«" WHEN IN ACTUALITY, YOUR END RESULT IS ALWAYS GONNA BE A WEAK ASS WATERED DOWN MUG OF TEA AND A SOPPING WET HERBAL BALLSACK OF ALL THE REMAINING TEA RESIDUE THAT YOU'VE NOW GOTTA FISH OUT OF THE TEA that you DON'T EVEN WANT NOW. JUST RIP OPEN THAT BAG AND POUR THAT MOTHER FUCKER INTO A CLEAR GLASS IN YOUR NATURALLY LIT KITCHEN. BOOM, I just gave you a new Instagram pic for your account. For. Free. THAT TEA BAG WANTS YOUR INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT TO GO BELLY UP. DON'T LET THOSE AESTHETIC CONDOMS WIN

@_brightskies22_ asked me to rant about tea bags! WELL BOY HOWDY! DON'T GET ME STARTED! My day was going sooooo fine UNTIL I had to maKe tee...