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Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie: gucciballs: thejorie: peble: thejorie: My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed. do they smoke weed? Yes, actually. you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,) They don’t look like they smoke weed. Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad. Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle. I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING  Well that escalated quickly…… What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body* haha oh my god who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes. love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”. and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”. “the goo pile that is now your body” i’m dying over here, jesus please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun. *shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.* this dude playin omg  Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*
Being Alone, Crying, and Dude: thejorie:

xilast-zurvifferman:

thejorie:

jackbecq:

thejorie:

19leahjade96:

thejorie:

madamekagamine:

thejorie:

gccgrimm:

thejorie:

gucciballs:

thejorie:

peble:

thejorie:

My three girlfriends.And yes, they smoke weed.

do they smoke weed?

Yes, actually.

you mean she isnt just smoking a cigarette? but a weed cigarette? 

It’s called a bunt…. Not weed cigarette… And yes, it is a weed bunt. They all smoke weed bunts before we kiss. (They are my girlfriends,)

They don’t look like they smoke weed.

Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.Fuck You.I’m so angry you are so lucky my three weed smorking girlfriends are rubbing my shoulders to calm me down I’m so mad.

Your “weed smoking girlfriend” has a Hello Kitty tattoo on her belly. The one in the middle.

I printed out a photo of your avatar and taped it to my punching bag that I punch and I mutter your URL with every strong punch I punch you twerp…. Don’t ever Talk about Blaiz or the wicked Tat(tattoo) I drew on her ever again I Don’t wanna see you standing outside my home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again ok leave us alone this is the FINAL FUCKING WARNING 

Well that escalated quickly……

What, was that? Hmm? Come again. *Blaiz grabs my shoulder* Come on Jory, they aren’t worth it, please. * I jerk my shoulder shaking her hand off* NO! NOOOOO!!! *starts to just pummel you with my big fucking fists. With each blow I let out a furious yell. The blows come quicker and harder and the yells get louder. I’m yelling so loud and now I’m crying. BREAKING POINT. The week was hard and I can’t take anymore. I’m opening sobbing at this point while you blood gurgle. All three of my girlfriends struggle to pull me off and they finally succeed and lead me away from the goo pile that is now your body*

haha oh my god

who even is this dude? someone needs some anger management classes.

love how he keeps reminding us that “I HAVE THREE GIRLFRIENDS”, “THEY ALL KISS ME”, and “THEY SMOKE WEED HURRP DURR”.

and let’s not forget the “Blaiz” and her “wicked tat”, or that he doesn’t “wanna see you standing outside [his] home at 3 am holding your weird dripping brown bags ever again”, and that this is “the FINAL FUCKING WARNING”.

“the goo pile that is now your body”

i’m dying over here, jesus

please, Jory, come challenge me to a bout of internet witticsisms; i promise, it’ll be fun.

*shoots you dead* Heh, idiot…*leaves with my three weed smorking girlfriends to go hold hands and kiss.*

this dude playin omg 

Come again? *The bar falls silent. No one dares to make a sound, as you have just said a very poor choice of words at a very dangerous time. I remain slumped over the bar, not looking back to you. One hand limply holding an almost empty bottle, the other hand cradling my head. I repeat the question, this time louder.* Come again?! *You can hear me slur the words, the sentence sounds like a real struggle for me to get out. I’m clearly intoxicated. A bead of sweat rolls down your face as you realize you might have just fucked up in a very major way. Everyone else in the bar is pretending to not notice what is going on. The bartender idly washes a mug with a cloth. His eyes are closed and he’s muttering something to himself. A handful of people hurriedly leave. One person looks back at you, a look of sorrow on their face. They almost say something, but shake their head and cast their eyes down to the floor, and leave. But not you. You stand, petrified. A quick look at me reveals I’m still  at the bar. You look to the exit, there’s still time. But there’s not, there’s not, there’s not. Your fate was sealed the moment you opened your mouth.* Mother fuck.. what did you say?! *I slowly rise from my stool and being to lumber over to you.  I look a mess. My hair is unkempt, I haven’t shaved in what looks like months, there are dark heavy bags under my eyes, my shirt is stained and has holes in it, and I’m missing a shoe. But the main thing you notice is the gun tucked into my jeans, and my massive muscle arms that look like they were made for punching. You know that song about the boots that were made for walking? Yeah, it’s like that only instead of boots it’s my muscles and instead of walking it’s punching. As I drunkenly sway over to you, you think of your family… Will they mourn you, or will they try and forget this blotch of stupidity, that their child insulted the Jory publicly, ever happened to their family? Your thoughts are cut short as I now stand face to face with you. I grab your face and pull you even closer.* Playin?! There was nothing playing… no playing you fuck. No playing… it was real.. the realest thing I’ve ever know.. felt… Love. I loved them… Blaiz…. Chas-Chas… Funk… I loved all three of em… but they…*My face is wet with tears and I’m blinking constantly in vain to hold them back.* They left me… left… *Almost instantly the sadness leaves my face and is replaced with pure anger.* Playin? Playin?! *My hand leaves your face and starts to head to what you think is the gun. You close your eyes and see God looking at you, shrugging. ‘Pft, you brought this upon yourself dude.’ He says as he waves his hands at you dismissively. But instead of the gun, my hands grab yours. Your eyes jolt open and the anger is gone from my face. There is only sadness.* Left me… * I fall to the floor and sob.*Wow, grow up. *You say before you leave the bar but are hit almost immediately from a car and are killed upon impact.*

thejorie: xilast-zurvifferman: thejorie: jackbecq: thejorie: 19leahjade96: thejorie: madamekagamine: thejorie: gccgrimm: thejorie:...

America, Ass, and England: tumblr Follow priscellie later-homenuggets my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia amour-vengeance if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? lumoslouis wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit kennilworthy-thisp It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. happyvegetable Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes millshouse why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal. sociopathic-italian-grandmas My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. gallifrey-feels no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange ecnamor-lacimehc-ym what the actual fuck australia priscellie I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke seananmcguire Nope Went there Parrots tried to take our car Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY 587,061 notes Now thats just fowl play
America, Ass, and England: tumblr
 Follow
 priscellie
 later-homenuggets
 my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
 look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
 motherfucking australia
 amour-vengeance
 if there was a post to describe australia, this is it
 wait
 you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird?
 that in australia, you have wild birds that just fhy from house to house with the
 express purpose of fucking shit up?
 fucking
 HELL australia, what is wrong with you?
 lumoslouis
 wake up australia
 That's what birds do
 They fly around and fuck shit up
 Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
 Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy
 up the living room a little bit
 kennilworthy-thisp
 It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch
 spasmodically while you look for the shovel.
 happyvegetable
 Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do
 yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just
 sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes
 millshouse
 why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year
 where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is
 literally called "swooping season" and these birds will fly down to peck your
 fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal.
 sociopathic-italian-grandmas
 My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season.
 It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards
 the car as the magpies tried to kill us.
 gallifrey-feels
 no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home
 from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit
 sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange
 ecnamor-lacimehc-ym
 what the actual fuck australia
 priscellie
 I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning
 trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be
 in on the joke
 seananmcguire
 Nope
 Went there
 Parrots tried to take our car
 Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY
 587,061 notes
Now thats just fowl play

Now thats just fowl play

America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandmas: millshouse: meganiun: happyvegetable: kennilworthy-thisp: derinthemadscientist: lumoslouis: soloontherocks: amour-vengeance: later-homenuggets: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait.  you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia  That’s what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal. My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia  I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke. Nope. Went there. Parrots tried to take our car. Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY. Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile. There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started.  I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool.  Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots.  Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. They did lose the Emu War, after all.
America, Apparently, and Ass: zornsable:
reversingyourpolarity:

elidyce:

seananmcguire:

priscellie:

ecnamor-lacimehc-ym:

gallifrey-feels:

sociopathic-italian-grandmas:

millshouse:

meganiun:

happyvegetable:

kennilworthy-thisp:

derinthemadscientist:

lumoslouis:

soloontherocks:

amour-vengeance:

later-homenuggets:

my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this
look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit
motherfucking australia

if there was a post to describe australia, this is it

wait. 
you mean to tell me this isn’t even a pet bird?
that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up?
fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you?

wake up australia 

That’s what birds do
They fly around and fuck shit up
Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country
Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit

It’s cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel.

Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do

yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes

why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they’re going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called “swooping season” and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it’s fucking brutal.

My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us.

no but when you’re 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange

what the actual fuck australia 

I am pretty sure all of these Australia stories are a massive, globally-spanning trolling effort, and only the people who have visited the country are allowed to be in on the joke.

Nope.
Went there.
Parrots tried to take our car.
Came home IN A FUCKING HURRY.

Interesting thing about magpies - they’re not great at identifying individual humans visually, but if you make yourself identifiable in some way they’re usually open to reason. We used to have some very aggressive swoopers in our back yard - as soon as they realised that the humans *inside* the fence never bothered them and were the source of the delicious compost heap, they turned into flying black and white guard dogs who would viciously assault any passing stranger but never bothered anyone inside the yard. Several times they swooped at us when we approached from outside, then when we walked into the yard they would pull up and act incredibly apologetic like sorry ma’am I had no idea it was you I would never please don’t stop stocking the food pile.
There was another little group of magpies in the park who would attack any solo pedestrian but never bothered anyone walking a dog or pushing a pram, because apparently those were identifiable traits indicating a non-threatening human. In the spirit of inquiry, I started going out of my way to be polite to the magpies - carefully walking a wide arc around them when they were on the ground, etc - and emitting an identifiable call of ‘hello birdie’ before swooping season started. 
I spent the next ten years crossing that park at least once a day and as long as I turned at the first flutter of wings and said ‘hello birdie’ to the magpie waiting to attack as soon as my back was turned, I was fine. Every time, the magpie would stare at me for a minute and then fly off to harass some other pedestrian because apparently the magpies and I, we were cool. 
Parrots are a lot less open to negotiation, and the little bastards travel in flocks. Beware the parrots. 

Australia: the only country where it is necessary to sign a peace treaty with the birds in order to stay unmangled. 

They did lose the Emu War, after all.

zornsable: reversingyourpolarity: elidyce: seananmcguire: priscellie: ecnamor-lacimehc-ym: gallifrey-feels: sociopathic-italian-grandm...

Memes, Weird, and youtube.com: Embrace your WEIRD! The things that make you different are the things that make you YOU 💖💕 Watch the full video on our YouTube channel (👀 link in bio)
Memes, Weird, and youtube.com: Embrace your WEIRD! The things that make you different are the things that make you YOU 💖💕 Watch the full video on our YouTube channel (👀 link in bio)

Embrace your WEIRD! The things that make you different are the things that make you YOU 💖💕 Watch the full video on our YouTube channel (👀 li...

9gag, Family, and Head: Im going to kill myself soon. Whats a good way to tell my family goodbye? 1. Open Microsoft word 2. Wrote down everything you're feeling 3. Read it over in your head 4. Now delete it 5. All 6. Of 8. Now make a list of things that make you happy 9. Bold them 10. Underline them 11.talicize them 12. Now print them out 13. Put them on your wall 14. Read them every night before you go to bed 15. Read then every morning when you wake up 16. Write them on your arms when you need to cut 17. Staple them to your forehead if you need to Because as long as you hold on to the things that make you happy, you can hold on to your life. I now its rough right now but killing yourself is never the right option There's no chance to do that thing you've always wanted to do. There's never a chance to tell that person how you really feel, to grow up, to have a family, to live life Dont kill yourself because I promise it gets better, I've been where you are and I know It gets better. VIA 9GAG.COM bvbally: theartblognobodyaskedfor: isadghost: evanogarfield: own-your-weird: tianatwitty: Please make this go viral. It is so important I don’t even care if you delete what I write here, just help it be seen.  Reblog. If you don’t reblog get the fuck out of here Signal boost! @brokenspeed @sophiie-draw DON’T KILL YOURSELF. Don’t do this. There are lots of people that loves you around the world. Live to travel and to meet them. We are here. Find us. We are waiting for you to tell you “I love you”.
9gag, Family, and Head: Im going to kill myself soon. Whats a
 good way to tell my family goodbye?
 1. Open Microsoft word
 2. Wrote down everything you're feeling
 3. Read it over in your head
 4. Now delete it
 5. All
 6. Of
 8. Now make a list of things that make you happy
 9. Bold them
 10. Underline them
 11.talicize them
 12. Now print them out
 13. Put them on your wall
 14. Read them every night before you go to bed
 15. Read then every morning when you wake up
 16. Write them on your arms when you need to cut
 17. Staple them to your forehead if you need to
 Because as long as you hold on to the things that make
 you happy, you can hold on to your life. I now its rough
 right now but killing yourself is never the right option
 There's no chance to do that thing you've always wanted
 to do. There's never a chance to tell that person how you
 really feel, to grow up, to have a family, to live life
 Dont kill yourself because I promise it gets better, I've been
 where you are and I know
 It gets better.
 VIA 9GAG.COM
bvbally:
theartblognobodyaskedfor:

isadghost:

evanogarfield:

own-your-weird:

tianatwitty:

Please make this go viral. 
It is so important I don’t even care if you delete what I write here, just help it be seen. 

Reblog.

If you don’t reblog get the fuck out of here


Signal boost!

@brokenspeed @sophiie-draw


DON’T
KILL
YOURSELF.
Don’t do this. There are lots of people that loves you around the world. Live to travel and to meet them. 
We are here. Find us. We are waiting for you to tell you “I love you”.

bvbally: theartblognobodyaskedfor: isadghost: evanogarfield: own-your-weird: tianatwitty: Please make this go viral. It is so importan...

America, Ass, and England: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait. you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit up a lite bitn It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia
America, Ass, and England: my friend left her
 window open in her
 bedroom and came
 back to find this
 look at his self-satisfied
 little face, the cheeky
 shit
 motherfucking australia
 if there was a post to
 describe australia, this is it
 wait.
 you mean to tell me this isn't
 even a pet bird?
 that in australia, you have wild
 birds that just fly from house to
 house with the express purpose
 of fucking shit up?
 fucking HELL australia, what is
 wrong with you?
 wake up australia
 That's what birds do
 They fly around and fuck shit up
 Do you have some kind of mysterious nice
 birds in your weird foreign country
 Do birds in America and England fly into
 your house and make the bed and tidy up
 the living room a little bit
 up
 a lite bitn
 It's cold here, so they just bounce off the
 windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically
 while you look for the shovel.
 Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst
 thing birds do
 yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at
 my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of
 the desk for a good 20 minutes
 why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there
 are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that
 they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called
 swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your
 fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit,
 it's fucking brutal
 My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of
 swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the
 kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to
 kill us.
 no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the
 way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like
 branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is
 considered strange
 what the actual fuck australia
Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia

Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia

America, Ass, and England: my friend left her window open in her bedroom and came back to find this look at his self-satisfied little face, the cheeky shit motherfucking australia if there was a post to describe australia, this is it wait. you mean to tell me this isn't even a pet bird? that in australia, you have wild birds that just fly from house to house with the express purpose of fucking shit up? fucking HELL australia, what is wrong with you? wake up australia That's what birds do They fly around and fuck shit up Do you have some kind of mysterious nice birds in your weird foreign country Do birds in America and England fly into your house and make the bed and tidy up the living room a little bit up a lite bitn It's cold here, so they just bounce off the windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically while you look for the shovel. Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst thing birds do yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of the desk for a good 20 minutes why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit, it's fucking brutal My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to kill us. no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is considered strange what the actual fuck australia Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia
America, Ass, and England: my friend left her
 window open in her
 bedroom and came
 back to find this
 look at his self-satisfied
 little face, the cheeky
 shit
 motherfucking australia
 if there was a post to
 describe australia, this is it
 wait.
 you mean to tell me this isn't
 even a pet bird?
 that in australia, you have wild
 birds that just fly from house to
 house with the express purpose
 of fucking shit up?
 fucking HELL australia, what is
 wrong with you?
 wake up australia
 That's what birds do
 They fly around and fuck shit up
 Do you have some kind of mysterious nice
 birds in your weird foreign country
 Do birds in America and England fly into
 your house and make the bed and tidy up
 the living room a little bit
 up
 a lite bitn
 It's cold here, so they just bounce off the
 windows and lie there and twitch spasmodically
 while you look for the shovel.
 Basically hurling themselves at windows is the worst
 thing birds do
 yeah man a kookaburra literally flew into a classroom at
 my high school and just sat his smug ass down on top of
 the desk for a good 20 minutes
 why has nobody mentioned the fact that in australia there
 are 3-4 months a year where everybody just accepts that
 they're going to get attacked by magpies. It is literally called
 swooping season and these birds will fly down to peck your
 fucking face, and people get their eyes ripped out and shit,
 it's fucking brutal
 My teacher had to go to hospital and have surgery because of
 swooping season. It was in the parking lot of school and all the
 kids would do a mad dash towards the car as the magpies tried to
 kill us.
 no but when you're 12 years old and riding your bike like mad on the
 way home from school with an icecream bucket on your head with like
 branches and shit sticking out if it to scare them off and none of this is
 considered strange
 what the actual fuck australia
Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia

Hard NOPE. 0/10 would not Australia