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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

Bad, Cheating, and Life: Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad Ima count to 3 and that shit better be deleted yellowjuice: tijopi11: Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever but the article wasn’t encouraging cheating, where you go behind your partners back, but instead looking at the issue of cheating as a not black-and-white thing where there’s one horribly evil person who just wanted to have fun/get laid with one traumatized-for-life victim. Instead, like most- nah, let me say with ANYTHING in real life beyond fiction, the article sees the grays in cheating and why the person cheated in the first place. Not to say that cheating isn’t a horrible thing to do, but I feel like people need to understand that there are reasons people do the things they do. People who cheat are human beings. They could feel horrible about it, they could be trapped in a marriage or relationship that they don’t feel they can escape, they can feel insecure and unloved. Again, not to say it’s something you should ever do, but dehumanizing someone over a mistake is just as bad in my opinion. There’s nowhere where they can talk about their experiences, and it’s likely we know a lot of people who have cheated in our lives even if they haven’t (or were too scared) to tell us about it.  “dehumanizing someone over a mistake”
Bad, Cheating, and Life: Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad

 Ima count to 3
 and that shit better
 be deleted
yellowjuice:

tijopi11:
Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever but the article wasn’t encouraging cheating, where you go behind your partners back, but instead looking at the issue of cheating as a not black-and-white thing where there’s one horribly evil person who just wanted to have fun/get laid with one traumatized-for-life victim. Instead, like most- nah, let me say with ANYTHING in real life beyond fiction, the article sees the grays in cheating and why the person cheated in the first place. Not to say that cheating isn’t a horrible thing to do, but I feel like people need to understand that there are reasons people do the things they do. People who cheat are human beings. They could feel horrible about it, they could be trapped in a marriage or relationship that they don’t feel they can escape, they can feel insecure and unloved. Again, not to say it’s something you should ever do, but dehumanizing someone over a mistake is just as bad in my opinion. There’s nowhere where they can talk about their experiences, and it’s likely we know a lot of people who have cheated in our lives even if they haven’t (or were too scared) to tell us about it. 
“dehumanizing someone over a mistake”

yellowjuice: tijopi11: Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever...

Being Alone, Children, and Friends: Tweet t1 DickMonger Retweeted Slim Dollars @SlimDollars some people wasnt raised. they was tolerated.. sat in front of a tv and given chicken nuggets and capri suns they whole childhood... we gotta really be mindful of that 4/2/18, 7:59 AM 2,085 Retweets 3,100 Likes smitethepatriarchy: bpdcalvinfischoeder: zakbaganses: jazzisback: sauvamente: Okay but how is this our problem? What’s the context? Thank you, like what does this have to do with me? I’m supposed to be considerate of what here, a lack of socialization? You’re supposed to be aware that some people were raised to be tolerated and that transfers into their adult life. Always being alone as a child doesn’t help you grow into a social adult. It leads you to be friends with people you believe are your friends but are only tolerating you. It leads you to believe that the people who love you and are around you are only tolerating you because you’re around. It feels scary to ask people for anything because you’re afraid they’ll give you what you want only to get you away from them. It makes you feel unlovable, unsocial, and intolerable to the people you love and should know, love you. This is also something that tends to happen to children of resentment; kids who were born to parents who had kids because they were expected to, or any other reason besides wanting kids unconditionally. It’s a very lonely, loveless childhood. It’s a childhood full of you trying to tell your parents about problems and they brush you off, or wanting to talk about something you like and you get “thats nice honey but could you -insert excuse to get you away from them-” You constantly second guess peoples motives. You don’t believe anyone could genuinely want to help you. You see yourself as a bother. You don’t trust people when they do nice things for you because you think theyre just trying to placate you and make you go away. Everyone is only doing nice things for you to be polite, not because theyre a nice person or they care about you. And usually this kind of childhood is accompanied by emotional abuse. Your parents tolerate you, but they would really rather you not be around. And kids aren’t stupid. They know. And it hurts them. It hurt me so much. You grow up believing no one would ever actually love you. Some people really just don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves to the point that they get offended when you ask them to be aware that many individuals had shitty childhoods.
Being Alone, Children, and Friends: Tweet
 t1 DickMonger Retweeted
 Slim Dollars
 @SlimDollars
 some people wasnt raised. they was
 tolerated.. sat in front of a tv and given
 chicken nuggets and capri suns they
 whole childhood... we gotta really be
 mindful of that
 4/2/18, 7:59 AM
 2,085 Retweets 3,100 Likes
smitethepatriarchy:

bpdcalvinfischoeder:

zakbaganses:

jazzisback:


sauvamente:
Okay but how is this our problem? What’s the context?
Thank you, like what does this have to do with me? I’m supposed to be considerate of what here, a lack of socialization?


You’re supposed to be aware that some people were raised to be tolerated and that transfers into their adult life. Always being alone as a child doesn’t help you grow into a social adult. It leads you to be friends with people you believe are your friends but are only tolerating you. It leads you to believe that the people who love you and are around you are only tolerating you because you’re around. It feels scary to ask people for anything because you’re afraid they’ll give you what you want only to get you away from them. It makes you feel unlovable, unsocial, and intolerable to the people you love and should know, love you.


This is also something that tends to happen to children of resentment; kids who were born to parents who had kids because they were expected to, or any other reason besides wanting kids unconditionally. 
It’s a very lonely, loveless childhood. It’s a childhood full of you trying to tell your parents about problems and they brush you off, or wanting to talk about something you like and you get “thats nice honey but could you -insert excuse to get you away from them-”
You constantly second guess peoples motives. You don’t believe anyone could genuinely want to help you. You see yourself as a bother. You don’t trust people when they do nice things for you because you think theyre just trying to placate you and make you go away. Everyone is only doing nice things for you to be polite, not because theyre a nice person or they care about you.
And usually this kind of childhood is accompanied by emotional abuse. Your parents tolerate you, but they would really rather you not be around. And kids aren’t stupid. They know. And it hurts them. It hurt me so much. 

You grow up believing no one would ever actually love you.


Some people really just don’t give a fuck about anyone but themselves to the point that they get offended when you ask them to be aware that many individuals had shitty childhoods.

smitethepatriarchy: bpdcalvinfischoeder: zakbaganses: jazzisback: sauvamente: Okay but how is this our problem? What’s the context? Tha...

Bad, Cheating, and Life: Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad Ima count to 3 and that shit better be deleted yellowjuice: tijopi11: Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever but the article wasn’t encouraging cheating, where you go behind your partners back, but instead looking at the issue of cheating as a not black-and-white thing where there’s one horribly evil person who just wanted to have fun/get laid with one traumatized-for-life victim. Instead, like most- nah, let me say with ANYTHING in real life beyond fiction, the article sees the grays in cheating and why the person cheated in the first place. Not to say that cheating isn’t a horrible thing to do, but I feel like people need to understand that there are reasons people do the things they do. People who cheat are human beings. They could feel horrible about it, they could be trapped in a marriage or relationship that they don’t feel they can escape, they can feel insecure and unloved. Again, not to say it’s something you should ever do, but dehumanizing someone over a mistake is just as bad in my opinion. There’s nowhere where they can talk about their experiences, and it’s likely we know a lot of people who have cheated in our lives even if they haven’t (or were too scared) to tell us about it.  “dehumanizing someone over a mistake”
Bad, Cheating, and Life: Why Cheating Isn't Actually That Bad

 Ima count to 3
 and that shit better
 be deleted
yellowjuice:

tijopi11:
Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever but the article wasn’t encouraging cheating, where you go behind your partners back, but instead looking at the issue of cheating as a not black-and-white thing where there’s one horribly evil person who just wanted to have fun/get laid with one traumatized-for-life victim. Instead, like most- nah, let me say with ANYTHING in real life beyond fiction, the article sees the grays in cheating and why the person cheated in the first place. Not to say that cheating isn’t a horrible thing to do, but I feel like people need to understand that there are reasons people do the things they do. People who cheat are human beings. They could feel horrible about it, they could be trapped in a marriage or relationship that they don’t feel they can escape, they can feel insecure and unloved. Again, not to say it’s something you should ever do, but dehumanizing someone over a mistake is just as bad in my opinion. There’s nowhere where they can talk about their experiences, and it’s likely we know a lot of people who have cheated in our lives even if they haven’t (or were too scared) to tell us about it. 
“dehumanizing someone over a mistake”

yellowjuice: tijopi11: Why are people having so much issue with the article, I agreed with it? The title isn’t the most eloquent thing ever...

Charlie, Petty, and Saw: HERE YOu GO,KID. .ALL CASH, AS PROMISED eleva GOOD. TRY SOㅆ OTHER SHOWS AN, 'LL CONTACT you DuURING THE WEEK. STOP THAT Guy! 囧 KREECH STOP HIM! DON'T LET HIM GET TO THE ELEVATOR! WHATEVER THANKS YOu ONE! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG AND YET 工DİDN'T MAGINE THAT 工NEVER SAW YOu OR ANYONE HAVE STOPPED HIM AT LEAST, SLOWED HIM DOWN NEEDED YOu THESE LAST FEW YEARS SO DON'T BLAME ㅆE FOR RETURNING THE FAVOR 5 6622 嶝 レISTEN, SON YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO SIT DOWN FOR A ㅆㅇㅆENT. THIS IS GOING TO BE A SHOCK TO YOU YOUR AUNT'S OKAY SHE'S WITH THE NEIGHBORS RIGHT NOW WHAT'S GOING ON引 MAY? WHAT'S HAPPENING2 TELL ㅆ티 IT'S YOUR 凵NCLE BEN, THERE'S BEEN AN INCIDENT THERE'S NO EASY WAY TO SAY THIS SON YOUR UNCLE TRIED THERE WAS A LOT OF TO STOP THE CASH LYING AROUNDGuY AND HE AFRAID YOUR UNCLE DIDN'T MAKE IT GOT SHOT BROKE IN. IS HE IS HE OKAY TEN CHARLIE-SEVEN... OVER THIS IS TEN-CHARLIE SEVEN. OVER WE HAVE A POSSIBLE SIGHTING ON YOUR SUSPECT: WHITE ㅆALE, LATE THIRTIES BLOND HAIR AND RED JACKET. SUSPICIOUS ㅆALE SEEN ENTERING ACㅆ WAREHOUSE ON PARLOR STREET, OVER. traincat: “What the hell is wrong with you? You could have stopped him… at least, slowed him down.”“And yet I didn’t. Imagine that.” Mythos: Spider-Man I know everyone is tired of seeing the origin on film in reboots, but the origin is important. One moment of I honestly don’t even think you can call it selfishness! One moment of apathy! One moment of not doing good because if you have the power to do good it is your responsibility to do it! And this is what happens! One moment! No high tech suits, no craving approval from authority figures. One moment in a back hall or a parking garage or a convenience store. One stupid petty vindictive moment that felt GOOD. That felt BETTER than helping. That’s what it boils down to. Spider-Man is about the opposite of rewards.
nsfw
Charlie, Petty, and Saw: HERE YOu
 GO,KID. .ALL
 CASH, AS
 PROMISED
 eleva
 GOOD. TRY
 SOㅆ OTHER SHOWS
 AN, 'LL CONTACT
 you DuURING
 THE WEEK.

 STOP
 THAT
 Guy!
 囧
 KREECH
 STOP HIM!
 DON'T LET HIM
 GET TO THE
 ELEVATOR!
 WHATEVER
 THANKS
 YOu ONE!
 WHAT THE
 HELL IS WRONG
 AND YET
 工DİDN'T
 MAGINE
 THAT
 工NEVER SAW YOu OR ANYONE
 HAVE STOPPED HIM
 AT LEAST, SLOWED
 HIM DOWN
 NEEDED YOu THESE LAST
 FEW YEARS
 SO DON'T
 BLAME ㅆE FOR
 RETURNING THE
 FAVOR
 5
 6622
 嶝

 レISTEN, SON
 YOU'RE GOING TO
 NEED TO SIT DOWN
 FOR A ㅆㅇㅆENT.
 THIS IS GOING
 TO BE A SHOCK
 TO YOU
 YOUR
 AUNT'S OKAY
 SHE'S WITH
 THE NEIGHBORS
 RIGHT NOW
 WHAT'S
 GOING ON引
 MAY?
 WHAT'S
 HAPPENING2
 TELL ㅆ티
 IT'S YOUR
 凵NCLE BEN, THERE'S
 BEEN AN INCIDENT
 THERE'S
 NO EASY WAY
 TO SAY THIS
 SON
 YOUR
 UNCLE TRIED
 THERE WAS A LOT OF TO STOP THE
 CASH LYING AROUNDGuY AND HE
 AFRAID YOUR
 UNCLE DIDN'T
 MAKE IT
 GOT SHOT
 BROKE IN.
 IS HE
 IS HE
 OKAY
 TEN
 CHARLIE-SEVEN...
 OVER
 THIS IS
 TEN-CHARLIE
 SEVEN. OVER
 WE HAVE
 A POSSIBLE SIGHTING
 ON YOUR SUSPECT: WHITE
 ㅆALE, LATE THIRTIES
 BLOND HAIR AND RED
 JACKET. SUSPICIOUS ㅆALE
 SEEN ENTERING ACㅆ
 WAREHOUSE ON PARLOR
 STREET, OVER.
traincat:
“What the hell is wrong with you? You could have stopped him… at least, slowed him down.”“And yet I didn’t. Imagine that.”
Mythos: Spider-Man
I know everyone is tired of seeing the origin on film in reboots, but the origin is important. One moment of I honestly don’t even think you can call it selfishness! One moment of apathy! One moment of not doing good because if you have the power to do good it is your responsibility to do it! And this is what happens! One moment! No high tech suits, no craving approval from authority figures. One moment in a back hall or a parking garage or a convenience store. One stupid petty vindictive moment that felt GOOD. That felt BETTER than helping. That’s what it boils down to. Spider-Man is about the opposite of rewards.

traincat: “What the hell is wrong with you? You could have stopped him… at least, slowed him down.”“And yet I didn’t. Imagine that.” Mythos:...