Would Have

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Would Have: laughoutloud-club: Things would have been better
Would Have: laughoutloud-club: Things would have been better

laughoutloud-club: Things would have been better

Would Have: I think I would have lost my hand if I turned on the tap šŸ˜‚
Would Have: I think I would have lost my hand if I turned on the tap šŸ˜‚

I think I would have lost my hand if I turned on the tap šŸ˜‚

Would Have: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up Thereā€™s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the cityā€™s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had ā€œMASSIVE FUCKING TRAPā€ written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man iā€™m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yiā€¦ OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponentā€™s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, yā€™know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like ā€œshit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.ā€ Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And thatā€™s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes heā€™s all like ā€œyo come on in broā€ and Sima Yi is like ā€œyeah heā€™s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluffā€ and heā€™s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think heā€™s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like ā€œhe know that I know that he knows that etc.ā€), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan wasĀ based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, thereā€™s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.Ā  and thatā€™s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely justĀ to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his sideā€™s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.Ā  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then heā€™s like, ā€Ok guys thatā€™s enough.ā€ They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemyā€™s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; itā€™s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
Would Have: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up Thereā€™s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the cityā€™s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had ā€œMASSIVE FUCKING TRAPā€ written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man iā€™m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yiā€¦ OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponentā€™s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, yā€™know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like ā€œshit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.ā€ Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And thatā€™s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes heā€™s all like ā€œyo come on in broā€ and Sima Yi is like ā€œyeah heā€™s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluffā€ and heā€™s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think heā€™s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like ā€œhe know that I know that he knows that etc.ā€), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan wasĀ based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, thereā€™s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.Ā  and thatā€™s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely justĀ to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his sideā€™s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.Ā  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then heā€™s like, ā€Ok guys thatā€™s enough.ā€ They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemyā€™s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; itā€™s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

Would Have: Itā€™s what Harambe would have wanted
Would Have: Itā€™s what Harambe would have wanted

Itā€™s what Harambe would have wanted

Would Have: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The new art of Warhammer 40000.Ā  Blood Angels with a glowing coffin? Donā€™t tell me GW will bring back Sanguinius. I honestly would quite like that, providing they do a good job of narratively justifying and explaining it. The follow up potential of Roboute and Lion and even the traitor Primarchs getting to see/interact with the brother they all saw as the best of them would be super interesting. Providing, again it was done well.That said, Iā€™m also kind of into the idea that the new Cā€™tan-looking angel thing the Necrons have is some kind of AI replication of Sangy, given it has the wings and a big spear and we know Necrontyr would make AI personalities of dead people they deeply respected, and that Szarekh really liked Sangy and thought he would have been a good Emperor.Super unlikely, but I digress. If itā€™s done well, Sanguinius coming back would be pretty damned cool. I meanā€¦.I guess?I would just be kinda salty if the damn Angel would return before any new Night Lords content releases.Yes I know I am beating a dead bat at this point but still I mean, yeah, obviously loyalist Astartes oversaturation remains a pertinent and ongoing issue. Iā€™ve been fairly vocal about that multiple times. Iā€™m just saying that the narrative potential surrounding a Sanguinius comeback is promising. Iā€™m intimately aware that Chaos and Xenos and Guard need more attention on multiple fronts. On all fronts tbh
Would Have: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The new art of Warhammer 40000.Ā  Blood Angels with a glowing coffin? Donā€™t tell me GW will bring back Sanguinius. I honestly would quite like that, providing they do a good job of narratively justifying and explaining it. The follow up potential of Roboute and Lion and even the traitor Primarchs getting to see/interact with the brother they all saw as the best of them would be super interesting. Providing, again it was done well.That said, Iā€™m also kind of into the idea that the new Cā€™tan-looking angel thing the Necrons have is some kind of AI replication of Sangy, given it has the wings and a big spear and we know Necrontyr would make AI personalities of dead people they deeply respected, and that Szarekh really liked Sangy and thought he would have been a good Emperor.Super unlikely, but I digress. If itā€™s done well, Sanguinius coming back would be pretty damned cool. I meanā€¦.I guess?I would just be kinda salty if the damn Angel would return before any new Night Lords content releases.Yes I know I am beating a dead bat at this point but still I mean, yeah, obviously loyalist Astartes oversaturation remains a pertinent and ongoing issue. Iā€™ve been fairly vocal about that multiple times. Iā€™m just saying that the narrative potential surrounding a Sanguinius comeback is promising. Iā€™m intimately aware that Chaos and Xenos and Guard need more attention on multiple fronts. On all fronts tbh

cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: cursed-40k-thoughts: randomnightlord: a-40k-author: The new art of Warhammer 40000.Ā  Blood Ang...

Would Have: Who would have thought.
Would Have: Who would have thought.

Who would have thought.

Would Have: clover11-10: breezeinmonochromenight: star-linedsoul: razzleberryjam: ironwoman359: chaos-in-the-making: smugkoalas: allthefandomss: that-catholic-shinobi: gahdamnpunk: American Girl stories were the best tbh Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We donā€™t disrespect American Girl in this house Donā€™t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies. Felicityā€™s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable. Samanthaā€™s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, womenā€™s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around. Kitā€™s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times. Mollyā€™s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience. American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But theyā€™re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you donā€™t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl. Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle. A slave doll. Please. Read the books. Donā€™t forget Kirsten, the Swedish immigrant who had to deal with balancing her own culture and learning the english language and customs of her classmates, or Kaya (full name Kaya'aton'my, orĀ She Who Arranges Rocks) , the brave but careless girl from the Nez Perce tribe, or Josefina, the Mexican girl learning to be a healer. And then there are the later dolls, that kids younger than me would have grown up with (I was just outgrowing American Girl as these came out), like Rebecca, the Jewish girl who dreams of becoming an actress in the budding film industry, orĀ  Julie, who fights against her schoolā€™s gender policy surrounding sports in the 70s, orĀ  Nanea, the Hawaiian girl whose father worked at Pearl Harbor. These books, these characters, are fantastic pictures into life for girls in America throughout the years, they pull no punches with the horrors that these girls had to face in their different time periods, and in many cases I learned more history from these series than social studies at school. And thatā€™s without even mentioning the ā€œgirl of the yearā€ series where characters are created in the modern world to help girls deal with issues like friend problems, moving, or bullying. We do NOT disrespect American Girl in this house. American Girl is probably going to be the only exposure young girls are going to get to history from a female perspective. This is actually kind of important considering that in history classes we dont really get that exposure. We dont hear about what women felt and endured during these time periods cause schools are too busy teaching us about what happened from the male perspective, which is not unimportant, but we need both. Girls need both. These books were such a crucial part of my childhood and shaped my love of history, which still ensures today. These books can be a young girlā€™s first lessons in diversity and cultural awareness (hopefully burying that insensitive ā€œweā€™re all Americansā€ tripe) and looking at history from more perspectives than just that taught in school. They also are an example of how women have ALWAYS been part of history, which some people would rather us not believe. I think Kit and Kaya were the newest American Girls when I started ā€œaging outā€ of the books, but hearing about some of these kinda makes me want to revisit them! I wasnā€™t gonna say anything, but you know what? Nah. OP (of the tweet thread) was either a actively trying to start shit or is just a huge fucking moron. Probably both. Iā€™d like to point out that the company that makes American Girl dolls actually doesnā€™t skimp when doing their research and they donā€™t make the dolls with the intent to be offensive in any way: I loved American Girl growing up theyā€™re great role models and history lessons so yeah letā€™s not cancel this for ignorant reasons
Would Have: clover11-10: breezeinmonochromenight: star-linedsoul: razzleberryjam: ironwoman359: chaos-in-the-making: smugkoalas: allthefandomss: that-catholic-shinobi: gahdamnpunk: American Girl stories were the best tbh Dude, read the books, she and her mom freed themselves in Book 1. We donā€™t disrespect American Girl in this house Donā€™t you dare disrespect Addy, or any of my girls for that matter. American Girl used to be legit. Good stories, good dolls, good movies. Felicityā€™s story was set in the beginnings of the American Revolution, and addressed the conflict that she faced when her loved ones were split between patriots and loyalists. It also covered the effects of animal abuse, and forgiving those who are unforgivable. Samanthaā€™s stories centered around the growth of industrial America, womenā€™s suffrage, child abuse, and corruption in places of power. Also, it emphasises how dramatically adoption into a caring family can turn a life around. Kitā€™s story is one of my favorites. Her family is hit hard by the Great Depression, and they begin taking in boarders and raise chickens to help make ends meet. Her books include themes of poverty, police brutality, homelessness, prejudice, and the importance of unity in difficult times. Mollyā€™s father, a doctor, is drafted during the Second World War. Throughout her story, friends of hers suffer the loss of their husbands, sons, and brothers overseas. Her mother leaves the traditional housewife position and works full-time to help with the war effort. They also take in an English refugee child, who learns to open up after a life of traumatic experience. American Girl stories have always featured the very harsh realities of America through the years. But theyā€™re always presented honestly, yet in ways that kids can understand. They just go to show that you donā€™t have to live in a perfect time to be a real American girl. Dont you fucking dare disrespect the American Girls in my house. ESPECIALLY Addy!! That was my first REAL contact with the horrors of slavery, as I read about her father being whipped and sold and her mother escaping with her to freedom, but also how freedom was still a struggle. A slave doll. Please. Read the books. Donā€™t forget Kirsten, the Swedish immigrant who had to deal with balancing her own culture and learning the english language and customs of her classmates, or Kaya (full name Kaya'aton'my, orĀ She Who Arranges Rocks) , the brave but careless girl from the Nez Perce tribe, or Josefina, the Mexican girl learning to be a healer. And then there are the later dolls, that kids younger than me would have grown up with (I was just outgrowing American Girl as these came out), like Rebecca, the Jewish girl who dreams of becoming an actress in the budding film industry, orĀ  Julie, who fights against her schoolā€™s gender policy surrounding sports in the 70s, orĀ  Nanea, the Hawaiian girl whose father worked at Pearl Harbor. These books, these characters, are fantastic pictures into life for girls in America throughout the years, they pull no punches with the horrors that these girls had to face in their different time periods, and in many cases I learned more history from these series than social studies at school. And thatā€™s without even mentioning the ā€œgirl of the yearā€ series where characters are created in the modern world to help girls deal with issues like friend problems, moving, or bullying. We do NOT disrespect American Girl in this house. American Girl is probably going to be the only exposure young girls are going to get to history from a female perspective. This is actually kind of important considering that in history classes we dont really get that exposure. We dont hear about what women felt and endured during these time periods cause schools are too busy teaching us about what happened from the male perspective, which is not unimportant, but we need both. Girls need both. These books were such a crucial part of my childhood and shaped my love of history, which still ensures today. These books can be a young girlā€™s first lessons in diversity and cultural awareness (hopefully burying that insensitive ā€œweā€™re all Americansā€ tripe) and looking at history from more perspectives than just that taught in school. They also are an example of how women have ALWAYS been part of history, which some people would rather us not believe. I think Kit and Kaya were the newest American Girls when I started ā€œaging outā€ of the books, but hearing about some of these kinda makes me want to revisit them! I wasnā€™t gonna say anything, but you know what? Nah. OP (of the tweet thread) was either a actively trying to start shit or is just a huge fucking moron. Probably both. Iā€™d like to point out that the company that makes American Girl dolls actually doesnā€™t skimp when doing their research and they donā€™t make the dolls with the intent to be offensive in any way: I loved American Girl growing up theyā€™re great role models and history lessons so yeah letā€™s not cancel this for ignorant reasons

clover11-10: breezeinmonochromenight: star-linedsoul: razzleberryjam: ironwoman359: chaos-in-the-making: smugkoalas: allthefandom...

Would Have: Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.
Would Have: Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.

Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.

Would Have: Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.
Would Have: Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.

Good thing they put the cone there, I would have kept going.

Would Have: Oh noā€¦ who would have seen that coming?
Would Have: Oh noā€¦ who would have seen that coming?

Oh noā€¦ who would have seen that coming?

Would Have: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. ā€œwhat do we do now?ā€ ā€œkill it,ā€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. ā€œwe canā€™t,ā€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonā€™t have to fight her captain on this. ā€œwe canā€™t. we - i wonā€™t. we wonā€™t.ā€ ā€œi know.ā€ x ā€œdaddy,ā€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, ā€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.ā€ her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnā€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnā€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. ā€œdaddy,ā€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x ā€œfather,ā€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, ā€œwhy am I here?ā€ ā€œyour mother abandoned you,ā€ he says, as he always has. ā€œwe found you adrift, and couldnā€™t bear to leave you there.ā€ she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. ā€œalright,ā€ she says. x ā€œwhy am I really here?ā€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the first mate says, staring into the water. ā€œwe didnā€™t know- we didnā€™t know anything. we didnā€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.ā€ she wants to be furious, but she canā€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherā€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canā€™t hate her family. ā€œitā€™s alright,ā€ she says. ā€œi do have a family, anyways. i donā€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.ā€ x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. ā€œi donā€™t mind,ā€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, ā€œnow i match all of you.ā€ the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. ā€œwe shouldnā€™t fight him,ā€ she says, peering through the spyglass. ā€œwhy not?ā€ the mermaid asks. ā€œheā€™ll win,ā€ the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. ā€œare you sure?ā€ she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ she says, with a bright laugh, ā€œit was fun.ā€ x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canā€™t possibly fight them, and they donā€™t have the time to escape. ā€œlet me up,ā€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. ā€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.ā€ they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheā€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x ā€œyou know we are dying,ā€ the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. ā€œi know,ā€ she says, ā€œi can feel it coming.ā€ the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidā€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. ā€œwe love you,ā€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. ā€œi love you too,ā€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. ā€œguard the ship,ā€ the captain says. ā€œyou always have but you know theyā€™re lost without you.ā€ ā€œwithout you,ā€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. ā€œwhat will we do?ā€ ā€œi donā€™t know,ā€ the captain says. ā€œbut youā€™ll help them, wonā€™t you?ā€ ā€œof course i will,ā€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. ā€œi will always protect my family.ā€ x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. ā€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,ā€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. ā€œis that so?ā€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. ā€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,ā€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentā€™s hesitation. ā€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.ā€ ā€œand now?ā€ ā€œthey were right,ā€ the new captain says. ā€œhow did they ever befriend you?ā€ the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. ā€œthey didnā€™t know any better.ā€ She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess whatā€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 Thatā€™s right! Here you go. Iā€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
Would Have: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. ā€œwhat do we do now?ā€ ā€œkill it,ā€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. ā€œwe canā€™t,ā€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonā€™t have to fight her captain on this. ā€œwe canā€™t. we - i wonā€™t. we wonā€™t.ā€ ā€œi know.ā€ x ā€œdaddy,ā€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, ā€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.ā€ her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnā€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnā€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. ā€œdaddy,ā€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x ā€œfather,ā€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, ā€œwhy am I here?ā€ ā€œyour mother abandoned you,ā€ he says, as he always has. ā€œwe found you adrift, and couldnā€™t bear to leave you there.ā€ she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. ā€œalright,ā€ she says. x ā€œwhy am I really here?ā€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the first mate says, staring into the water. ā€œwe didnā€™t know- we didnā€™t know anything. we didnā€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.ā€ she wants to be furious, but she canā€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherā€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canā€™t hate her family. ā€œitā€™s alright,ā€ she says. ā€œi do have a family, anyways. i donā€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.ā€ x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. ā€œi donā€™t mind,ā€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, ā€œnow i match all of you.ā€ the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. ā€œwe shouldnā€™t fight him,ā€ she says, peering through the spyglass. ā€œwhy not?ā€ the mermaid asks. ā€œheā€™ll win,ā€ the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. ā€œare you sure?ā€ she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ she says, with a bright laugh, ā€œit was fun.ā€ x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canā€™t possibly fight them, and they donā€™t have the time to escape. ā€œlet me up,ā€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. ā€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.ā€ they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheā€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x ā€œyou know we are dying,ā€ the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. ā€œi know,ā€ she says, ā€œi can feel it coming.ā€ the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidā€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. ā€œwe love you,ā€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. ā€œi love you too,ā€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. ā€œguard the ship,ā€ the captain says. ā€œyou always have but you know theyā€™re lost without you.ā€ ā€œwithout you,ā€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. ā€œwhat will we do?ā€ ā€œi donā€™t know,ā€ the captain says. ā€œbut youā€™ll help them, wonā€™t you?ā€ ā€œof course i will,ā€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. ā€œi will always protect my family.ā€ x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. ā€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,ā€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. ā€œis that so?ā€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. ā€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,ā€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentā€™s hesitation. ā€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.ā€ ā€œand now?ā€ ā€œthey were right,ā€ the new captain says. ā€œhow did they ever befriend you?ā€ the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. ā€œthey didnā€™t know any better.ā€ She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess whatā€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 Thatā€™s right! Here you go. Iā€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

Would Have: Did this watercolor painting for my best friend whoā€™s dog passed away 2 weeks ago. Archie would have turned 11 today.
Would Have: Did this watercolor painting for my best friend whoā€™s dog passed away 2 weeks ago. Archie would have turned 11 today.

Did this watercolor painting for my best friend whoā€™s dog passed away 2 weeks ago. Archie would have turned 11 today.

Would Have: sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailbutterfly: ryderdai: the-pump-king: morphimus: charlesoberonn: charlesoberonn: queen-of-dirt: charlesoberonn: notaboyscout: charlesoberonn: memory-thought: charlesoberonn: updogonline: It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong. I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. You can see the inside of the cardboard though. This isnā€™t a real door, itā€™s a prop from a movie or TV set. it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and thatā€™s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows If I kicked my bedroom door Iā€™d more likely break my foot than the door. I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal. American homes are made extremely cheaply and arenā€™t built to last. Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls. Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood. Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that. Weak foundations that wouldnā€™t hold up at all if it werenā€™t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is. Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich peopleā€™s homes. Read this article. https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality Then watch this video. Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? Itā€™s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? šŸ¤·šŸ¾ā€ā™‚ļø Iā€™m in Canada. I havenā€™t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself. It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,? No we donā€™t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone itā€™s usually just a ā€œfeature wallā€ that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on. Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily. why would anyone build something like that? didnā€™t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? donā€™t y'all learn from your childhood? I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam. Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it. You could kick right through it.Ā  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.Ā Ā  Needless to say Iā€™m having it replaced. -laughs in solid wooden door-
Would Have: sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailbutterfly: ryderdai: the-pump-king: morphimus: charlesoberonn: charlesoberonn: queen-of-dirt: charlesoberonn: notaboyscout: charlesoberonn: memory-thought: charlesoberonn: updogonline: It took me 3 watches to realize the door is cardboard and this man is not just freakishly strong. I assure you this is a standard interior door, usually only exterior doors are solid. You can see the inside of the cardboard though. This isnā€™t a real door, itā€™s a prop from a movie or TV set. it has a paper honeycomb for rigidity, and thatā€™s how interior doors are made for modern construction in the USA. y'all have never kicked a hole in your bedroom door in a flurry of teenage hormonal rage and it shows If I kicked my bedroom door Iā€™d more likely break my foot than the door. I always thought people punching through doors or shoving people through doors was just from the movies. Doors in my country are generally solid planks of wood, a polymer of sorts, or metal. American homes are made extremely cheaply and arenā€™t built to last. Steam from hot showers seeps into wall which are not treated to handle moisture, and mold grows in the walls. Almost every wall or floor is made out of plywood. Flimsy roofing that can withstand a run of the mill heavy storm, but not much more than that. Weak foundations that wouldnā€™t hold up at all if it werenā€™t for how light and plywood-y the overall house is. Not every American house is this shitty in all of these ways, but the vast majority of them are, and almost all of them have at least one of these problems. Even rich peopleā€™s homes. Read this article. https://dengarden.com/misc/American-Houses-and-Bad-Quality Then watch this video. Are we just ignoring this original post was about the OP looking for Elf Pussy or are we just totally past that? Itā€™s already been answered that there is no elf pussy here, so why dwell? šŸ¤·šŸ¾ā€ā™‚ļø Iā€™m in Canada. I havenā€™t noticed any door be quite that flimsy. You could kick a hole in some of them (the hollow ones) but not right through, and not without hurting yourself. It also depends on how old your house is. My parents house is from the 80s and all the doors are solid wood Yeah my parents were the first people to live in our house so it would have been built in the same decade. I remember my mom saying that she liked how the doors were solid wood, and little me was confused bc I thought all doors were made of wood do y'all,,,, not have stone walls,,,,? No we donā€™t, usually just plywood or plasterboard with wooden frames for support. If it is stone itā€™s usually just a ā€œfeature wallā€ that is made of the aforementioned materials but with a thin layer of stone glued on. Basically this but just with paint over the plasterboard, American houses (or at least new ones) are built to look nice but ware easily. why would anyone build something like that? didnā€™t the pig with the wood house get killed or something? donā€™t y'all learn from your childhood? I live in AZ and one of my exterior doors is Styrofoam. Literally Styrofoam with a flexible plastic plate over it. You could kick right through it.Ā  Or, if you felt like sneaking in and murdering me, cut through it with a kitchen knife.Ā Ā  Needless to say Iā€™m having it replaced. -laughs in solid wooden door-

sonneillonv: violent-cisbian: lesbianplayinanimalcrossing: violent-cisbian: thevirginmaryswomb: radcybergoth: blackswallowtailb...

Would Have: apuveaux: c-bassmeow: Like if I knew I was being filmed I would have tried and done better šŸ˜’ this video is legendary
Would Have: apuveaux: c-bassmeow: Like if I knew I was being filmed I would have tried and done better šŸ˜’ this video is legendary

apuveaux: c-bassmeow: Like if I knew I was being filmed I would have tried and done better šŸ˜’ this video is legendary

Would Have: Who would have done it? by wonkaass MORE MEMES
Would Have: Who would have done it? by wonkaass MORE MEMES

Who would have done it? by wonkaass MORE MEMES

Would Have: Who would have done it?
Would Have: Who would have done it?

Who would have done it?

Would Have: Itā€™s almost as if theyā€™re just saying ā€œthey would have died anywayā€ by onohki MORE MEMES
Would Have: Itā€™s almost as if theyā€™re just saying ā€œthey would have died anywayā€ by onohki MORE MEMES

Itā€™s almost as if theyā€™re just saying ā€œthey would have died anywayā€ by onohki MORE MEMES

Would Have: That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive
Would Have: That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive

That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive

Would Have: Who would have guessed
Would Have: Who would have guessed

Who would have guessed

Would Have: Who would have guessed by ObamaJackedMyVCR MORE MEMES
Would Have: Who would have guessed by ObamaJackedMyVCR MORE MEMES

Who would have guessed by ObamaJackedMyVCR MORE MEMES

Would Have: timexlapse: never thought i would have to reblog something like this but welcome to 2020
Would Have: timexlapse: never thought i would have to reblog something like this but welcome to 2020

timexlapse: never thought i would have to reblog something like this but welcome to 2020

Would Have: [OC] How COVID 19 would have started in the DC Comics Universeā€¦ -Art by me
Would Have: [OC] How COVID 19 would have started in the DC Comics Universeā€¦ -Art by me

[OC] How COVID 19 would have started in the DC Comics Universeā€¦ -Art by me

Would Have: ask-kirby-sans: paddysnuffles: cyhiraeth: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standbyfortitanfall: girlwithalessonplan: heliosapollo: losed: A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN yes hello i am here to learn geometries That crow is more prepared than some of my students. Youā€™ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. Thereā€™s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.Ā  THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans. Corvids. Who KNOWS. :) Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didnā€™t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are. they still shit all over the place and eat garbage ok but so do we @neurodivergent-crow Cool facts about crows: 1. Crows understand the concept of gifts. Thereā€™s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you.Ā  2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans. There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help. 3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool. 4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow. 5. Crows have regional dialects and accents. They are also able to copy each otherā€™s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different. 6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest. They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out. Crows are better than people
Would Have: ask-kirby-sans: paddysnuffles: cyhiraeth: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standbyfortitanfall: girlwithalessonplan: heliosapollo: losed: A CROW TRIED TO GO IN OUR CLASSROOM AND HE HAD A PEN yes hello i am here to learn geometries That crow is more prepared than some of my students. Youā€™ve all just like, completely skipped over the possibility that this crow has seen people using pens in this room, found one, and is trying to return it. Thereā€™s been videos of crows picking up sweet wrappers and stuff and placing them in bins after seeing humans put their litter in bins. I really do believe that this crow is trying to return the pen and that is ADORABLE AS HELL.Ā  THEY ARE SO SMART I LOVE THEM Crows are thought to be self aware by some scientists. Its perfectly possible the crow wants to return the pen to humans. Knowing it belongs to humans. Corvids. Who KNOWS. :) Another cool crow deal: Once, when trying to assess if crows could reason and use tools, scientists had two crows who didnā€™t know each other each take a wire from a table (one was hooked, one was straight) and try to grab meat from a bottle with it. The crows could see each other, though they had separate bottles. Only the straight wire worked for this, so they hypothesized that if crows could reason, the second trial would have the two crows fighting over the straight wire. The second trial started and, to the surprise of the scientists, the two crows both went for the bent wire, one held it down and the other unbent it. They both got meat out of their bottles. They came to a peaceful solution without verbal communication. Crows are probably smarter than we are. they still shit all over the place and eat garbage ok but so do we @neurodivergent-crow Cool facts about crows: 1. Crows understand the concept of gifts. Thereā€™s a little girl who started feeding the murder by her house and they started bringing her trinkets (cool pebbles, coins, shiny things, bleached animal bones, etc) as a thank you.Ā  2. Crows remember who has been kind to them and tell other crows about the nice humans. There are various examples of people who have helped crows and the crows not only come back to say hi, but also bring friends who need help over for the nice human to help. 3. Crows are the only other animal known to make tools in order to make another tool. 4. Crows have been proven to have a sense of self If you mark them with a coloured dot that they can see and then show them their reflection in a mirror they soon realize that the reflection is them and not another crow. 5. Crows have regional dialects and accents. They are also able to copy each otherā€™s dialects and accents to fit in if they move to an area where the accent is different. 6. Crows regularly visit their parents after leaving the nest. They also regularly live with their parents after reaching adulthood to help with raising their younger siblings for up to five years before moving out. Crows are better than people

ask-kirby-sans: paddysnuffles: cyhiraeth: jumpingjacktrash: vertisol: offendedfunyarinpa: dduane: laurelai: angelalchemy: standb...

Would Have: ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. ā€œwhat do we do now?ā€ ā€œkill it,ā€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. ā€œwe canā€™t,ā€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonā€™t have to fight her captain on this. ā€œwe canā€™t. we - i wonā€™t. we wonā€™t.ā€ ā€œi know.ā€ x ā€œdaddy,ā€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, ā€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.ā€ her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnā€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnā€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. ā€œdaddy,ā€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x ā€œfather,ā€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, ā€œwhy am I here?ā€ ā€œyour mother abandoned you,ā€ he says, as he always has. ā€œwe found you adrift, and couldnā€™t bear to leave you there.ā€ she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. ā€œalright,ā€ she says. x ā€œwhy am I really here?ā€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the first mate says, staring into the water. ā€œwe didnā€™t know- we didnā€™t know anything. we didnā€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.ā€ she wants to be furious, but she canā€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherā€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canā€™t hate her family. ā€œitā€™s alright,ā€ she says. ā€œi do have a family, anyways. i donā€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.ā€ x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. ā€œi donā€™t mind,ā€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, ā€œnow i match all of you.ā€ the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. ā€œwe shouldnā€™t fight him,ā€ she says, peering through the spyglass. ā€œwhy not?ā€ the mermaid asks. ā€œheā€™ll win,ā€ the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. ā€œare you sure?ā€ she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ she says, with a bright laugh, ā€œit was fun.ā€ x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canā€™t possibly fight them, and they donā€™t have the time to escape. ā€œlet me up,ā€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. ā€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.ā€ they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheā€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x ā€œyou know we are dying,ā€ the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. ā€œi know,ā€ she says, ā€œi can feel it coming.ā€ the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidā€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. ā€œwe love you,ā€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. ā€œi love you too,ā€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. ā€œguard the ship,ā€ the captain says. ā€œyou always have but you know theyā€™re lost without you.ā€ ā€œwithout you,ā€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. ā€œwhat will we do?ā€ ā€œi donā€™t know,ā€ the captain says. ā€œbut youā€™ll help them, wonā€™t you?ā€ ā€œof course i will,ā€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. ā€œi will always protect my family.ā€ x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. ā€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,ā€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. ā€œis that so?ā€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. ā€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,ā€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentā€™s hesitation. ā€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.ā€ ā€œand now?ā€ ā€œthey were right,ā€ the new captain says. ā€œhow did they ever befriend you?ā€ the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. ā€œthey didnā€™t know any better.ā€ She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess whatā€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 Thatā€™s right! Here you go. Iā€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this
Would Have: ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. ā€œwhat do we do now?ā€ ā€œkill it,ā€ the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. ā€œwe canā€™t,ā€ the first mate says desperately, praying she wonā€™t have to fight her captain on this. ā€œwe canā€™t. we - i wonā€™t. we wonā€™t.ā€ ā€œi know.ā€ x ā€œdaddy,ā€ she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, ā€œdaddy, la-la, la-la-la.ā€ her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isnā€™t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasnā€™t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. ā€œdaddy,ā€ she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x ā€œfather,ā€ she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, ā€œwhy am I here?ā€ ā€œyour mother abandoned you,ā€ he says, as he always has. ā€œwe found you adrift, and couldnā€™t bear to leave you there.ā€ she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. ā€œalright,ā€ she says. x ā€œwhy am I really here?ā€ she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. ā€œwe didnā€™t know any better,ā€ the first mate says, staring into the water. ā€œwe didnā€™t know- we didnā€™t know anything. we didnā€™t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.ā€ she wants to be furious, but she canā€™t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her fatherā€™s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she canā€™t hate her family. ā€œitā€™s alright,ā€ she says. ā€œi do have a family, anyways. i donā€™t think i would have liked my other life near as much.ā€ x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. ā€œi donā€™t mind,ā€ she says, when the captain fusses over her, ā€œnow i match all of you.ā€ the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. ā€œwe shouldnā€™t fight him,ā€ she says, peering through the spyglass. ā€œwhy not?ā€ the mermaid asks. ā€œheā€™ll win,ā€ the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. ā€œare you sure?ā€ she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. ā€œdonā€™t worry,ā€ she says, with a bright laugh, ā€œit was fun.ā€ x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they canā€™t possibly fight them, and they donā€™t have the time to escape. ā€œlet me up,ā€ the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. ā€œbring me up, quickly, quickly.ā€ they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but sheā€™s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x ā€œyou know we are dying,ā€ the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. ā€œi know,ā€ she says, ā€œi can feel it coming.ā€ the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaidā€™s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. ā€œwe love you,ā€ the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. ā€œi love you too,ā€ the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. ā€œguard the ship,ā€ the captain says. ā€œyou always have but you know theyā€™re lost without you.ā€ ā€œwithout you,ā€ the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. ā€œwhat will we do?ā€ ā€œi donā€™t know,ā€ the captain says. ā€œbut youā€™ll help them, wonā€™t you?ā€ ā€œof course i will,ā€ she scoffs, rolling her eyes. ā€œi will always protect my family.ā€ x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. ā€œyou know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,ā€ she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. ā€œis that so?ā€ she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. ā€œthey said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,ā€ the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a momentā€™s hesitation. ā€œi always thought they were telling tall tales.ā€ ā€œand now?ā€ ā€œthey were right,ā€ the new captain says. ā€œhow did they ever befriend you?ā€ the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. ā€œthey didnā€™t know any better.ā€ She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess whatā€™s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 Thatā€™s right! Here you go. Iā€™ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER I love this

ironwoman359: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: Th...

Would Have: earthsong9405: All done with Urbosaā€™s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didnā€™t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But Iā€™m sure ya donā€™t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, letā€™s go straight into the headcanon! <:ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-ā€Championā€ in this timeline doesnā€™t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyruleā€™s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesnā€™t abuse it and leads her people well: thereā€™s a reason sheā€™s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-Iā€™ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isnā€™t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his ā€œauntā€. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. Sheā€™d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorfā€™s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it itā€™d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he beā€¦ dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosaā€™s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boyā€™s mother over the whispers of ā€œweā€™ll make it quick, but we mustnā€™t let him liveā€, ā€œhe is dangerous, he will bring doom to us allā€ ā€œend it now while he is weakā€.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monsterā€™s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees themā€¦ and this baby didnā€™t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didnā€™t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he canā€™t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosaā€™s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zeldaā€™s parents and is also something of an ā€œauntā€ figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”Aaaaaaaaand thatā€™s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else Iā€™ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions youā€™re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^
Would Have: earthsong9405: All done with Urbosaā€™s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didnā€™t change too much but I gave her a slightly different hairstyle, some tusks (as is natural for Gerudo in my headcanon), and a brand new outfit! She has such lovely colors to work with, I love her so much ;-;But Iā€™m sure ya donā€™t wanna hear me babble about how enjoyable her design is. So, letā€™s go straight into the headcanon! <:ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”--Urbosa is the current chief of the Gerudo and serves as the acting Champion for them as well. As a Champion in this timeline, she holds a key component in gaining access to Old Hyrule-ā€Championā€ in this timeline doesnā€™t fully hold the same function as it once did in BotW. Instead of being chosen to pilot the Divine Beasts, a Champion are a handful of chosen warriors that serve as Hyruleā€™s best line of defense against any threat. Despite every group of peoples having their own form of governing, culture, and way of life, all of them are still united under the banner of Hyrule, and the Champions could be the physical representation of this tight alliance. A Champion may not necessarily have a lot of political power by themselves but what they represent and what they stand for still puts them in a high position in social status and therefore their word often holds significant weight. As not only the chief of Gerudo but also their Champion, Urbosa is in a position of having more power than what would typically be seen for a Chief. Thankfully though, she doesnā€™t abuse it and leads her people well: thereā€™s a reason sheā€™s so well respected and loved among not only the Gerudo, but across Hyrule as well.-As one of the original Champions, Urbosa retains many of her memories from her past life, including what ultimately led to her death-Iā€™ve always liked the idea of Urbosa being a motherly figure to just about anyone she meets, but that also includes being an actual mother! Her kid in this headcanon is Riju <:-While Urbosa isnā€™t actually related to Ganondorf, he refers to her as his ā€œauntā€. Of all the Gerudo in his life, Urbosa was a consistent presence, often visiting him and his parents at their secluded home in the middle of Korok Forest. Sheā€™d bring stories of adventure and gifts and even helped train him to be a skilled warrior, but as much as she loves the boy her visits held an alternative motive.-As a whole, no one really knows of Ganondorfā€™s past as being the vessel for the Demon King, but if anyone would have any idea about it itā€™d certainly be the Sheikah and the Gerudo. As per tradition in their culture, a newborn Gerudo must be brought forth to a shaman for examination to ensure their health and to fully proclaim their citizenship as a new member of the tribe. When Ganondorf was examined, the first thing the shaman noticed was the peculiar mark upon his chest: a birthmark in the shape of the wound that struck Demise down all those thousands of years ago. In seeing the mark the shaman took the baby away from his mother and brought it to the council and Urbosa to discuss what to do with it.The Gerudo are intimately familiar with the history surrounding the Demon King and how he stole one of their own, so the mark was very telling of what the child once was. And given the long stretch of peace Hyrule was experiencing it understandably buzzed some fear among the elder council. Many were afraid his birth meant an end to that peace, that the Demon King had somehow reincarnated once more and meant to bring hell back to Hyrule.So in response to all of this, the elders argued amongst each other about a solution. Many ruled the boy too dangerous to allow him to grow older and demanded he beā€¦ dealt with. Others deemed that too cruel, even for a damned child, and suggested they simply leave him somewhere far away: let nature decide if he lives or dies. But, as chief and Gerudo Champion of Hyrule, it ultimately came down to Urbosaā€™s choice. She held the babe her council hissed demon, stared at the birthmark that marked him as a vessel, heard the pleading sobs of the boyā€™s mother over the whispers of ā€œweā€™ll make it quick, but we mustnā€™t let him liveā€, ā€œhe is dangerous, he will bring doom to us allā€ ā€œend it now while he is weakā€.Stared at the supposed demon child, who simply yawned in her grasp and blinked up at her with innocent, yellow eyes. She met the Demon King once: she had stared into that monsterā€™s eyes while she fought it to her death in her past lifetime. She knows soulless eyes when she sees themā€¦ and this baby didnā€™t have those eyes.So Urbosa made her decision: the boy will not die. It was largely met with disbelief and anger: you will doom us all! they said. Despite Urbosa staying firm in her decision, it took her days of arguing with the council and the aid of a Sheikah Seer (who examined the child themselves and confirmed that he didnā€™t house the Demon King) to finally reach a compromise: the boy will live, but he canā€™t live among the Gerudo. He had to live with his mother in exile, and his growth had to be monitored as a precaution. The monitoring came in the form of Urbosaā€™s frequent visits.-Urbosa is close friends with Zeldaā€™s parents and is also something of an ā€œauntā€ figure to Zelda as well; Zelda absolutely adores Urbosa and even sees her as more of a secondary mother figure than anything.ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”ā€”Aaaaaaaaand thatā€™s all I have for Urbosa for now! If I think of anything else Iā€™ll be sure to add more, and of course if ya have questions youā€™re more than free to ask them. <: Otherwise I hope you enjoy! ^.^

earthsong9405: All done with Urbosaā€™s redesign and the additional sketches for her role in my headcanon! <: As usual I didnā€™t change too...

Would Have: Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me
Would Have: Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me

Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me

Would Have: Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me
Would Have: Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me

Trifecta of comedy that would have tickled a 13 year old me

Would Have: I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously
Would Have: I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously

I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously

Would Have: I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously by godtamer MORE MEMES
Would Have: I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously by godtamer MORE MEMES

I would have forgotten the cheat instantaneously by godtamer MORE MEMES

Would Have: I would have perfect attendance
Would Have: I would have perfect attendance

I would have perfect attendance

Would Have: Who would have thought?
Would Have: Who would have thought?

Who would have thought?

Would Have: Who would have thought?
Would Have: Who would have thought?

Who would have thought?