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wind: cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the golden age of piracy ended. The first mermaid to get tattoos :) “we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?” “kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes. “we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.” “i know.” x “daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.” her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her. “daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor. “don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing. x “father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?” “your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.” she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says. x “why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam. “we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.” she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family. “it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.” x her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.” the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass. “why not?” the mermaid asks. “he’ll win,” the first mate says. the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks. x the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her. “don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.” x the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape. “let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.” they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her. she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings. the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone. x she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea. x “you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her. she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise. “i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.” the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. “we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either. “i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time. “guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.” “without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?” “i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?” “of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.” x the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid. “you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock. the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy. “they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.” “and now?” “they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?” the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.” She protects her family. Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link! https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817 That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there! HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER
wind: cereusblue:
unnameablethings:


dragonsateyourtoast:

redporkpadthai:

dragonsateyourtoast:

otherwindow:

otherwindow:
This is how the golden age of piracy ended.
The first mermaid to get tattoos :)


“we didn’t know any better,” the crewman says, and swallows, presenting the chest to the captain. “what do we do now?”
“kill it,” the captain says, but the ice is melting in his eyes.
“we can’t,” the first mate says desperately, praying she won’t have to fight her captain on this. “we can’t. we - i won’t. we won’t.”
“i know.”
x
“daddy,” she says, floating in a tub of seawater in the hold, “daddy, la-la, la-la-la.”
her voice rings like bells. her accent is strange; her mouth isn’t made for human words. it mesmerises even the hardiest amongst them and she wasn’t even trying. the crew has taken to diving for shellfish near the shorelines for her; she loves them, splitting the shells apart with strength seen in no human toddler, slurping down the slimy molluscs inside and laughing, all plump brown cheeks and needle-sharp teeth. she sometimes splashes them for fun with her smooth, rubbery brown tail. even when they get soaked they laugh. they love her.
“daddy,” she calls again, and he can hear the worry in her voice. the storm rocking the ship is harsh and uncaring, and if they go down, she would be the only survivor.
“don’t worry,” he says, and goes over, sitting next to the tub. the first mate, leaning against the wall, pretends not to notice as he quietly begins to sing.
x
“father,” she says, one day, as she leans on the edge of the dock and the captain sits next to her, “why am I here?”
“your mother abandoned you,” he says, as he always has. “we found you adrift, and couldn’t bear to leave you there.”
she picks at the salt-soaked boards, uncertain. her hair is pulled back in a fluffy black puff, the white linen holding it slipping almost over one of her dark eyes. one of her first tattoos, a many-limbed kraken, curls over her right shoulder and down her arm, delicate tendrils wrapped around her calloused fingertips. “alright,” she says.
x
“why am I really here?” she asks the first mate, watching the sun set over the water in streaks of liquid metal that pooled in the troughs of the waves and glittered on the seafoam.
“we didn’t know any better,” the first mate says, staring into the water. “we didn’t know- we didn’t know anything. we didn’t understand why she fought so viciously to guard her treasure. we could not know she protected something a thousand times more precious than the purest gold.”
she wants to be furious, but she can’t. she already knew the answer, from reading the guilt in her father’s eyes and the empty space in her own history. and she can’t hate her family.
“it’s alright,” she says. “i do have a family, anyways. i don’t think i would have liked my other life near as much.”
x
her kraken grows, spreading its tendrils over her torso and arms. she grows too, too large to come on board the ship without being hauled up in a boat from the water. she sings when the storms come and swims before the ship to guide it to safety. she fights off more than one beast of the seas, and gathers a set of scars across her back that she bears with pride. “i don’t mind,” she says, when the captain fusses over her, “now i match all of you.”
the first time their ship is threatened, really threatened, is by another fleet. a friend turned enemy of the first mate. “we shouldn’t fight him,” she says, peering through the spyglass.
“why not?” the mermaid asks.
“he’ll win,” the first mate says.
the mermaid tips her head sideways. Her eyes, dark as the deep waters, gleam in the noon light. “are you sure?” she asks.
x
the enemy fleet surrenders after the flagship is sunk in the night, the anchor ripped off the ship and the planks torn off the hull. the surviving crew, wild-eyed and delirious, whimper and say a sea serpent came from the water and attacked them, say it was longer than the boat and crushed it in its coils. the first mate hears this and has to hide her laughter. the captain apologizes to his daughter for doubting her.
“don’t worry,” she says, with a bright laugh, “it was fun.”
x
the second time, they are pushed by a storm into a royal fleet. they can’t possibly fight them, and they don’t have the time to escape.
“let me up,” the mermaid urges, surfacing starboard and shouting to the crew. “bring me up, quickly, quickly.”
they lower the boat and she piles her sinous form into it, and uses her claws to help the crew pull her up. once on the deck she flops out of the boat and makes her way over to the bow. the crew tries to help but she’s so heavy they can barely lift parts of her.
she crawls up out in front of the rail and wraps her long webbed tail around the prow. the figurehead has served them well so far but they need more right now. she wraps herself around the figurehead and raises her body up into the wind takes a breath of the stinging salt air and sings.
the storm carries her voice on its front to the royal navy. they are enchanted, so stunned by her song that they drop the rigging ropes and let the tillers drift. the pirates sail through the center of the fleet, trailing the storm behind them, and by the time the fleet has managed to regain its senses they are buried in wind and rain and the pirates are gone.
x
she declines guns. instead she carries a harpoon and its launcher, and uses them to board enemy ships, hauling her massive form out of the water to coil on the deck and dispatch enemies with ruthless efficiency. her family is feared across all the sea.
x
“you know we are dying,” the captain says, looking down at her.
she floats next to the ship, so massive she could hold it in her arms. her eyes are wise.
“i know,” she says, “i can feel it coming.”
the first mate stands next to the captain. she never had a lover or a child, and neither did he, but to the mermaid they are her parents. she will always love her daughter. the tattoos are graven in dark swirls across the mermaid’s deep brown skin and the flesh of her tail, even spiraling onto the spiked webbing on her spine and face. her hair is still tied back, this time with a sail that could not be patched one last time. 
“we love you,” the first mate says simply, looking down. her own tightly coiled black hair falls in to her face; she shakes the locs out of the way and smiles through her tears. the captain pretends he isnt crying either.
“i love you too,” the mermaid says, and reached up to pull the ship down just a bit, just to hold them one last time.
“guard the ship,” the captain says. “you always have but you know they’re lost without you.”
“without you,” the mermaid corrects, with a shrug that makes waves. “what will we do?”
“i don’t know,” the captain says. “but you’ll help them, won’t you?”
“of course i will,” she scoffs, rolling her eyes. “i will always protect my family.”
x
the captain and the first mate are gone. the ship has a new captain, young and fearless - of the things she can afford to disregard. she fears and loves the ocean, as all captains do. she does not fear the royal fleet. and she does not fear the mermaid.
“you know, i heard stories about you when i was a little girl,” she says, trailing her fingers in the water next to the dock.
the mermaid stares at her with one eye the size of a dinner table. “is that so?” she hums, smirking with teeth sharper than the swords of the entire navy.
“they said you could sink an entire fleet and that you had skin tougher than dragon scales,” the new captain says, grinning right back at the monster who could eat her without a moment’s hesitation. “i always thought they were telling tall tales.”
“and now?”
“they were right,” the new captain says. “how did they ever befriend you?”
the mermaid smiles, fully this time, her dark eyes gleaming under the white linen sail. “they didn’t know any better.”

She protects her family.

Hi everybody! Guess what’s being posted on AO3 now at the following link!
https://archiveofourown.org/works/22498384/chapters/53760817
That’s right! Here you go. I’ll be uploading it in some chunks, because I want to make sure I have everything I wanted edited cleanly finished, but follow the story there!




HEY GUYS GUESS WHATS BACK ON THE DASHBOARD AND BETTER THAN EVER

cereusblue: unnameablethings: dragonsateyourtoast: redporkpadthai: dragonsateyourtoast: otherwindow: otherwindow: This is how the g...

wind: artist-hopper: Evening Wind, 1921, Edward Hopper
wind: artist-hopper:
Evening Wind, 1921, Edward Hopper

artist-hopper: Evening Wind, 1921, Edward Hopper

wind: My brother sent me this video of my dog in the wind and I thought I should share(via)
wind: My brother sent me this video of my dog in the wind and I thought I should share(via)

My brother sent me this video of my dog in the wind and I thought I should share(via)

wind: jareckiworld:Max Ernst  —  La Mariée du Vent (The Bride of the Wind)  (oil,  canvas, 1926)
wind: jareckiworld:Max Ernst  —  La Mariée du Vent

(The Bride of the Wind)  (oil,  canvas, 1926)

jareckiworld:Max Ernst  —  La Mariée du Vent (The Bride of the Wind)  (oil,  canvas, 1926)

wind: Everywhere the wind blows…
wind: Everywhere the wind blows…

Everywhere the wind blows…

wind: Everywhere the wind blows…
wind: Everywhere the wind blows…

Everywhere the wind blows…

wind: kingkouga: inuyasha aesthetic posts → kagura“Naraku holds my life in his hands. But I have no intention of remaining a servant forever to the likes of him! I am the wind. One day I shall be free!”
wind: kingkouga:

inuyasha aesthetic posts → kagura“Naraku holds my life in his hands. But I have no intention of remaining a servant forever to the likes of him! I am the wind. One day I shall be free!”

kingkouga: inuyasha aesthetic posts → kagura“Naraku holds my life in his hands. But I have no intention of remaining a servant forever t...

wind: The A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT AGNOS ESULT WHOSE REINCARNATION ARE YOU? you ge lests yo u should A FORTUNE-TELLING GAME FOR ALL INUYASHA FANS! Just answer the questions and you'll find out who you were in a previous life during the Warring 1. You feel something round in your stomach. YES Diagnosis A 2. You like dogs. past and we tes era NO > Go to 2 YES → Go to 4 NO → Go to 3 3. When angry, you never show it on your face. YES> Go to 5 NO → Go to 6 4. You hit first and ask questions later. YES Go to 6 NO → Go to 7 5. You care about your clothes. Diagn YES> Go to 8 NO → Go to 9 INGA OFS 6. You cannot be honest about the opposite sex. YES Go to 11 NO → Go to 9 7. You are overlooked when people are passing out snacks. YES Diagnosis E 8. You like people who have mature personalities. YES Go to 11 NO → Go to 8 YOU CAN NO → Go to 10 SOLVE YOUR dand 9. You are told that you look older than your YES Diagnosis D LOVE WORRIES WITH THIS?! actual NO → Diagnosis F age. 10. Your hair is like soft seaweed. wind and at YES Diagnosis H NO → Diagnosis G 11. It is okay to love two people at the same time. YES Diagnosis B NO → Diagnosis C TRACKED INSURED ENOSIS SULTS Diagnosis A Diagnosis B REINCARNATION OF INUYASHA KAGOME HERSELF r did you get? Your refects your current Au should learn axt and work daily to What are you Just like Inuyasha you get involved in trouble easily. However, if you try hard you will find your true path. Your personality suits a leadership position. doing?! Hurry through the Bone Eater's AAH Well! You have enough spiritual power to survive whatever happens. There is nothing to worry about! Diagnosis D Diagnosis E ה hoked in trouble dve enough power to survive whatever happens. There is spiritual easily However i you try hand you will find your true path. Your personality suits a leadership position. nothing to worry about! Diagnosis D REINCARNATION OF MIROKU Diagnosis C Diagnosis E REINCARNATION OF SHIPPO EINGARNATION OF SANGO Whatever world you live in, you You are You are unre- earnest. If you are a girl, you will be a wife markable now but you have the are easy- power to attract others. going. Your luck in love is who takes care of your husband well. If you are a boy, jou will be a good husband. If you find something you are good at, it will help you in life. Many love you, but maybe not the one you love. good. You would make a good teacher or counselor-jobs which require communication skills. Diagnosis H REINCARNATION OF NARAKU Your deep Diagnosis G Diagnosis F REINCARNATION REINCARNATION OF SESSHOMARU INUYASHA QUIZ luck in love is care of your shand well. If you are a boy, l be a good husband. If good. You would make a good teacher or counselor-jobs which require communication skills. power to attract others. Many love you, but maybe not OUR RIES find something you are d at, it will help you in life. the one you love. Diagnosis G REINCARNATION OF SESSHOMARU Diagnosis F Diagnosis H REINCARNATION OF NARAKU LEINCARNATION OF KOGA You should look both you use your talents, you will never have a prob- lem eating. Friends If Your deep feelings are powerful enough to smash rocks, but you should not hold grudges ways before you get on an iron vehi- cle or before Mass you are few, but form deep bonds with them. You should treat them with around you Vou cross roads. Your person- ality is suited to globetrotting jobs. should against people and you not fear failure. You should be honest with people you like. care. ROAD SAFETY PRAYER FOR A GOOD MATCH ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT kiittsune: Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you? Yay i’m Sango ^-^
wind: The
 A SPECIAL SUPPLEMENT
 AGNOS
 ESULT
 WHOSE
 REINCARNATION
 ARE YOU?
 you ge
 lests yo
 u should
 A FORTUNE-TELLING GAME FOR ALL INUYASHA FANS!
 Just answer the questions and you'll find out who you
 were in a previous life during the Warring
 1. You feel something round in your stomach.
 YES Diagnosis A
 2. You like dogs.
 past and we
 tes era
 NO > Go to 2
 YES → Go to 4
 NO → Go to 3
 3. When angry, you never show it on your face.
 YES> Go to 5
 NO → Go to 6
 4. You hit first and ask questions later.
 YES Go to 6
 NO → Go to 7
 5. You care about your clothes.
 Diagn
 YES> Go to 8
 NO → Go to 9
 INGA
 OFS
 6. You cannot be honest about the opposite sex.
 YES
 Go to 11
 NO → Go to 9
 7. You are overlooked when people are passing out snacks.
 YES Diagnosis E
 8. You like people who have mature personalities.
 YES Go to 11
 NO → Go to 8
 YOU CAN
 NO → Go to 10
 SOLVE YOUR
 dand
 9. You are told that you look older than your
 YES Diagnosis D
 LOVE WORRIES
 WITH THIS?!
 actual
 NO → Diagnosis F
 age.
 10. Your hair is like soft seaweed.
 wind
 and at
 YES Diagnosis H
 NO → Diagnosis G
 11. It is okay to love two people at the same time.
 YES Diagnosis B
 NO → Diagnosis C
 TRACKED
 INSURED

 ENOSIS
 SULTS
 Diagnosis A
 Diagnosis B
 REINCARNATION
 OF INUYASHA
 KAGOME
 HERSELF
 r did you get? Your
 refects your current
 Au should learn
 axt and work daily to
 What are you
 Just like
 Inuyasha you
 get involved
 in trouble
 easily.
 However, if
 you try hard you will find your
 true path. Your personality
 suits a leadership position.
 doing?! Hurry
 through the
 Bone Eater's
 AAH
 Well! You
 have enough
 spiritual power to survive
 whatever happens. There is
 nothing to worry about!
 Diagnosis D
 Diagnosis E
 ה

 hoked
 in trouble
 dve enough
 power to survive
 whatever happens. There is
 spiritual
 easily
 However i
 you try hand you will find your
 true path. Your personality
 suits a leadership position.
 nothing to worry about!
 Diagnosis D
 REINCARNATION
 OF MIROKU
 Diagnosis C
 Diagnosis E
 REINCARNATION
 OF SHIPPO
 EINGARNATION
 OF SANGO
 Whatever
 world you
 live in, you
 You are
 You are unre-
 earnest. If you
 are a girl, you
 will be a wife
 markable
 now but you
 have the
 are easy-
 power to
 attract others.
 going. Your
 luck in love is
 who takes
 care of your
 husband well. If you are a boy,
 jou will be a good husband. If
 you find something you are
 good at, it will help you in life.
 Many love you, but maybe not
 the one you love.
 good. You would make a good
 teacher or counselor-jobs
 which require communication
 skills.
 Diagnosis H
 REINCARNATION
 OF NARAKU
 Your deep
 Diagnosis G
 Diagnosis F
 REINCARNATION
 REINCARNATION
 OF SESSHOMARU
 INUYASHA QUIZ

 luck in love is
 care of your
 shand well. If you are a boy,
 l be a good husband. If
 good. You would make a good
 teacher or counselor-jobs
 which require communication
 skills.
 power to
 attract others.
 Many love you, but maybe not
 OUR
 RIES
 find something you are
 d at, it will help you in life.
 the one you love.
 Diagnosis G
 REINCARNATION
 OF SESSHOMARU
 Diagnosis F
 Diagnosis H
 REINCARNATION
 OF NARAKU
 LEINCARNATION
 OF KOGA
 You should
 look both
 you use
 your talents,
 you will never
 have a prob-
 lem eating.
 Friends
 If
 Your deep
 feelings are
 powerful
 enough to
 smash rocks,
 but you
 should not hold grudges
 ways before
 you get on
 an iron vehi-
 cle or before
 Mass
 you are few, but
 form deep bonds with them.
 You should treat them with
 around
 you
 Vou cross roads. Your person-
 ality is suited to globetrotting
 jobs.
 should
 against people and
 you
 not fear failure. You should be
 honest with people you like.
 care.
 ROAD
 SAFETY
 PRAYER
 FOR A GOOD
 MATCH
 ACADEMIC
 ACHIEVEMENT
kiittsune:

Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you?



Yay i’m Sango ^-^

kiittsune: Apparently I’m shippos reincarnation what are you? Yay i’m Sango ^-^

wind: geopsych: I’ll post a still or two of this, too, but I love the wind through the leaves. Soon that sound will be gone until spring.
wind: geopsych:
I’ll post a still or two of this, too, but I love the wind through the leaves. Soon that sound will be gone until spring.

geopsych: I’ll post a still or two of this, too, but I love the wind through the leaves. Soon that sound will be gone until spring.

wind: The Wall Street Journal WSJ Friday at 10:01 AM Most millennials don't even know what fabric softener is used for, and that worries Procter & Gamble 60 Dou ULTRA Millennials Are Fine Without Fabric Softener; P&G Looks to Fix That wsj.com weareallstilllearningright: bi-fem-plantnerd: sagelynaive: organized-studies: kindnessandgoodvibrations: kindnessandgoodvibrations: ghostoftwentysomethingspresent: madsciences: awfullydull: markrial: tramampoline: slow-riot: Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe 1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.) 1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.) ½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load. ^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent WHATThank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give! Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply. Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco. Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray. Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda) Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make. I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets. I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one Kudos to all of this, but don’t ask a craft store employee at a chain craft store to make your wool yarn into a tight ball for you. I worked at JoAnn Fabrics for a year and a half. We literally have no resources or ability to do something like that. You could do a better job yourself at home. The chain craft store employee can’t look up a youtube tutorial for making yarn laundry balls on the clock, you can. If someone had walked up to me while I was working at JoAnn and asked me to take a half hour or more out of my shift to try and fail in making some kind of tight yarn laundry contraption I probably would have burst into tears. And if my manager had come out and found me trying and failing to wind yarn when I was supposed to be running go backs I would have gotten a talking to. Craft store employees aren’t allowed, able, or willing to do your crafts for you. That’s why it’s a craft store. Don’t hurt retail workers in your quest for overriding the capitalist system. For the love of everything beautiful please just look it up. These are all great ways to reduce waste we produce from constantly buying detergent, softener, and dryer sheets. Is there like a reason not to buy detergent? Cause uh this sounds a million times more complicated and definitely more expensive.Most washing pods are £5 for a pack of about 30, I’m already counting more than that for those ingredients. Also who the hell just knows where to get Borax or Boric acid? Guessing you’d have to get it online so you’re probably racking up a bigger CO2 footprint with your “DIY fuck the system” bullshit than you would if you like just bought some normal soap. Also idk what magic you think needs to happen to clothes but if you don’t like laundry soap yk you could just throw other soap in there it’s the machine doing most of the washing.Better yet, if you have all this spear time and energy for laundry just get a bar of soap and a rack and scrub the clothes by hand. Do you have literally no concept of cost as it relates to quantity? The ingredients may be initially slightly more but you’ll get a lot more than 30 loads out of them. Also “all those ingredients“? It’s like three my dude. And borax is not hard to purchase? And if you don’t know where to buy it Google exists?Like maybe in your view there is zero reason to make your own detergent but there’s also zero reason to act like some helpful cost-effective tips are the worst thing you’ve ever seen 🙄
wind: The Wall Street Journal
 WSJ
 Friday at 10:01 AM
 Most millennials don't even know what fabric
 softener is used for, and that worries Procter &
 Gamble
 60
 Dou
 ULTRA
 Millennials Are Fine Without Fabric Softener;
 P&G Looks to Fix That
 wsj.com
weareallstilllearningright:

bi-fem-plantnerd:

sagelynaive:
organized-studies:

kindnessandgoodvibrations:

kindnessandgoodvibrations:


ghostoftwentysomethingspresent:

madsciences:

awfullydull:

markrial:

tramampoline:

slow-riot:
Weirdly anti-millennial articles have scraped the bottom of the barrel so hard that they are now two feet down into the topsoil
its so wild like “this generation with no fucking money is learning to prioritize essentials” and all these chucklefucks can write is advertisements for these companies

at least our jeans won’t tear at the seams after two washes

FUCK FABRIC SOFTENER IT’S UTTERLY POINTLESS
AND FUCK DRYER SHEETS LITERALLY NOBODY EVER HAS ENOUGH OF A PROBLEM WITH STATIC TO WARRANT PAYING OUT THE ASS FOR THAT SHIT
DO YOU WANT CLEAN CLOTHES? YOU DON’T EVEN NEED TO BUY FUCKING DETERGENT JUST MAKE YOUR OWN* IT’S SO GODDAMN EASY AND 80X CHEAPER
FUCK THE ENTIRE LAUNDRY INDUSTRY*Fuck The Entire Laundry Industry Recipe
1 cup Washing Soda (not Baking Soda. Different things.)
1 cup Borax (not Boric Acid. Also a different thing.)
½ cup - 1 cup grated bar soap (you can use literally anything. I often use Ivory because it’s easy to get and I find it works well, a lot of people like Fels-Naptha, which is an actual laundry bar. Some people use Dr. Bronner’s. Really does not fucking matter.)After grating your soap, combine all ingredients. That’s it. That’s the whole thing. Use maybe a ¼ cup per load.

^^^ I’ve done this for years now and it works as well as any store bought detergent

WHATThank you, tumblr user awfullydull! Your URL does no justice to the good advice you give!


Also you can MAKE your own washing soda very VERY cheaply.
Step one: acquire $5 bag of baking soda from Costco.
Step two: lay that motherfucking baking soda out on a baking tray.
Step three: bake the baking soda on a tray in an oven at 400° for 1 hour (to make the moisture evaporate, leaving washing soda)
Step four: revel in how easy and cheap it is to make your own washing soda, and maybe take a moment to be angry that the industry upcharges the fuck out of something that is so easy to make.


I see some of y'all complaining about static and/or wanting nice smelling laundry. Go to a craft store, find 100% wool yarn balls. If it doesn’t come in a ball, ask an employee to make it into a tight ball for you. Wash in the washing machine to make it felted. Remove from washer, add a few drops of essential oil to the ball, allow to seep in. Dry with clothing. Doesn’t need to be rewashed ever, and if it stops smelling, add few more drops of essential oil. Bam, reusable dryer sheets.


I love this post so much it’s filled with helpful advice, hatred, saving money, and fucking the system all in one


Kudos to all of this, but don’t ask a craft store employee at a chain craft store to make your wool yarn into a tight ball for you. I worked at JoAnn Fabrics for a year and a half. We literally have no resources or ability to do something like that. You could do a better job yourself at home. The chain craft store employee can’t look up a youtube tutorial for making yarn laundry balls on the clock, you can. 
If someone had walked up to me while I was working at JoAnn and asked me to take a half hour or more out of my shift to try and fail in making some kind of tight yarn laundry contraption I probably would have burst into tears. And if my manager had come out and found me trying and failing to wind yarn when I was supposed to be running go backs I would have gotten a talking to. Craft store employees aren’t allowed, able, or willing to do your crafts for you. That’s why it’s a craft store. 
Don’t hurt retail workers in your quest for overriding the capitalist system. For the love of everything beautiful please just look it up. 

These are all great ways to reduce waste we produce from constantly buying detergent, softener, and dryer sheets.

Is there like a reason not to buy detergent? Cause uh this sounds a million times more complicated and definitely more expensive.Most washing pods are £5 for a pack of about 30, I’m already counting more than that for those ingredients. Also who the hell just knows where to get Borax or Boric acid? Guessing you’d have to get it online so you’re probably racking up a bigger CO2 footprint with your “DIY fuck the system” bullshit than you would if you like just bought some normal soap. Also idk what magic you think needs to happen to clothes but if you don’t like laundry soap yk you could just throw other soap in there it’s the machine doing most of the washing.Better yet, if you have all this spear time and energy for laundry just get a bar of soap and a rack and scrub the clothes by hand. 

Do you have literally no concept of cost as it relates to quantity? The ingredients may be initially slightly more but you’ll get a lot more than 30 loads out of them. Also “all those ingredients“? It’s like three my dude. And borax is not hard to purchase? And if you don’t know where to buy it Google exists?Like maybe in your view there is zero reason to make your own detergent but there’s also zero reason to act like some helpful cost-effective tips are the worst thing you’ve ever seen 🙄

weareallstilllearningright: bi-fem-plantnerd: sagelynaive: organized-studies: kindnessandgoodvibrations: kindnessandgoodvibrations:...

wind: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
wind: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

wind: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
wind: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

wind: Anglicisation of Urrow (Europe <*h,uru-wkw-) PLACE NAME ORIGIN Yeatbury Middy Durry Hamberfall Germanic Mormannish Italic Example reconstruction: Volgograd to Wulchyard ALcherer elend Celtic Hellenic Balto-Slavic other Indo-European non Indo-European mixed volga River Proto-Indo-European: *welg- (wet, damp) Balto-Slavic >walg- Germanic> "wulka- (from Reachwigh Smallish Erven Body oblique case "wlg-) Yannen Arryanglish Proto-Slavic vsigakt Old English >*wulc (cf. wolcn Archroom Lully 'cloud, with /uf> ol due to non- high vowel in next syllable Russian>Bonra English wulk/wulch (cf swilk such, whilk/which, milk/milch, ilk ilch etc. for palatalisation) CASE STUDY- WITHEL (Italy) Eal Etymological breakdown of this map's forty-three Withelish cities Arabic Thrundham Umpny Fighey Thunnerhaven KEtruscan Messap Eastersound - grad -town, enclosure Proto-Indo-European: "g'ord"-os<g'erd- (to enclose) Balto-Slavic>"gardas Germanic > "gardaz Proto-Slavicgord Old English >geard Russian >rópoa English >yard ave <Latin Wass Soundswall fihlend whalve Bury Ealsound <Celtic Thavefand aldy sea fan Thamber Hitend Efchney norry Borling Berrywin Hervewig wat <Greek avbottomHelsing Wighoury Aslea Charlsted. NEarbrow St. Fetherbury Westrer Upsel Utter Haverdys eHastrem Danlim Stotcholmstlend aThord Fashew Righosten Yarlewel ranae Hasseh WellyNewyard Staving SWeeri.ch Sinquernis Opunthewquerdan oten d Edwinbury Thwer Yeatbury Linchippinpping Thalled Summer Ealburya Ewechippingotend Wingsfull lathew Walemear Marcaw TarrowYulShaw Wighbury Waysea halmer balty Lewy Dewyfu Widdifish Yelytch Ridgen Thull SQuellwest Newhastle n Orth Earhouse chippenhaven dermarc Malmy WenswhRosqurid Flensbury Burhoim Chile Strealsound Brimeavevey Arry thau Yedanch Seal lithewen Hewn. f ir elend Mannow iddlesburyS e a sea Devlin Every Smallish r o oslend Walow Nackenigh Harry weinerfirth efluil Liverpool Manhaster Snottingham Logds wallyard Willen Mennish Maylew Branch Sarthaw Livish Yarden Berrin Hambury Shithen Beverish vemarch Bermingham Greninge Hairthave a nglend arhamAlcburyBrimeam Warny Hursh hassystoon Bealstow b e alroos. Warrow Bright Oxford The HawAstledámi erPerlen Bicyeste Bilifd Hamble Fishser s omdun ahaster Arnat Fadstop Fannen Bealyard sum Hornwatl Fordsmouth anden e nissle bc Sawbuss al S Luvlin Hernetchew Britchelown Ampen, Masthright Whellen Erford be theechTend arriaw Handewy Yarrow Thrighten Wardlaw Hew Grensy Wulchyard Loughish Rewn Lighish Dannish Hammenishanver Bright nen FermittenburyFranchford Hambe WrithenRidden Quithmire Faldaw Lewy a wcea nemny llenFarry AycawrowanchewishThornfal Winny. Yan- Arstaw wulchdannish eheibegy whess Middyaroiage wharse Nandy Maryfal Wine&Nand Earlen. Thrass Stradbury Stoodyard RainburyWeen a w y ltchyardernewyEamen Rew Hassy Ratch efarry uthlendy Thurn Quirch maldew Paverwheane Pan Mair Yatch Quisnew Atteth Eachesburye Batty Lind Berthlew Niredgehat Fribury Durry Manwin.Saltbury Allratonelra ncheworpern Fighter eThurfall Yersen Rassendoor stearfal Leasen hstean a strichyeerer t ge Yardye palde ButhfightWearden ungerrt Grawen Elmwigh gKennow Hullermund- Lowdun Leese-Navy Deyw Siven Brassowle Rim aberfall Newroosish Sough h uven Marbury FesS awn All Harcen Burdyall Ferdnoth corntal Midlende Mundalyen Wallende Ewshe Thalse sen Falf Thimb Bury Thestee Thearen Wern Wind yS a v Therch Yill Pigh Sissen Humeasce wurry Pacdem Thevels BOwerish Wigh Earend Awth Pilvew Form Culfen V Mundwa ighmnigh Fi o h serve bassen Bealyard.charlaw Yestand Letchen St. Thetc er Massle Dlen Livern Aw swartmere armen Erven cuise Ford Brooch Waltheld Bury Hambury Salmenthy LMe MOUuay Spald hornguertushen Sap Fellowrn ELsher Writ Ness Fienen Ash Arth Samsen hurftess Archroom Basti ow Fer Harsy t h Ayaug Bury Candiedstch Harbough fordcall Lispen Hasterhaid CHethbury Yerrend Tharrarrilen Fadtaryhassow buller Modrigh Serchest Blighdew Yatter Allynearfall Itefa thmeat watterthy Room Thulden w sea Thetches Ban alven maytep Anger iver PadalS pe an Hastlen Elsy Tirepayer Pruss Essyhither Heaser Mid Welighserthurry Sanlurrow Newfall Fathend Thurenaster pp Safer Tharineg Luve asten Hather S Harve Thr Sackende Wallend, Foietchery Minnery Sas Pr Waller Whethelnigh channyhal Marden Earn Sevel Aartave ATve Sarten thurnen PMaller sea Arvel Massle rs all itchen ly gmurn MurtheLighendes Hassend Cassanthaves Mally cranthHartchen Thensle Hane Addene Andle Hatts athender inen ch Ascow sea Fadder Adden HalmethNowfiew barth Kipralder Almer Seft Thanger Fansarm Measesh Marsic SighelRidge Haver Yevle ursen Yalve Andsy sur e Traven sea Hathen Allchear Aircherd Arn Ump Thunse Raff Fess Word Seriow Ruth Dart Hamps Surry Stve Yestanden Chuver irry lavenen PerruthTammish SitterA Thur mild Wisher allchear thunse marrow middlemere land-of-maps: Anglicising Europe: If the Anglo-Saxons had been invited to dinner (everywhere). See comments for more
wind: Anglicisation of Urrow
 (Europe <*h,uru-wkw-)
 PLACE NAME ORIGIN
 Yeatbury
 Middy
 Durry
 Hamberfall
 Germanic
 Mormannish
 Italic
 Example reconstruction: Volgograd to Wulchyard
 ALcherer
 elend
 Celtic
 Hellenic
 Balto-Slavic
 other Indo-European
 non Indo-European
 mixed
 volga River
 Proto-Indo-European: *welg- (wet, damp)
 Balto-Slavic >walg- Germanic> "wulka- (from
 Reachwigh
 Smallish
 Erven
 Body
 oblique case "wlg-)
 Yannen
 Arryanglish
 Proto-Slavic vsigakt Old English >*wulc (cf. wolcn
 Archroom
 Lully
 'cloud, with /uf> ol due to non-
 high vowel in next syllable
 Russian>Bonra English wulk/wulch (cf swilk
 such, whilk/which, milk/milch, ilk
 ilch etc. for palatalisation)
 CASE STUDY- WITHEL (Italy)
 Eal
 Etymological breakdown of this
 map's forty-three Withelish cities
 Arabic
 Thrundham
 Umpny
 Fighey
 Thunnerhaven
 KEtruscan
 Messap
 Eastersound
 - grad -town, enclosure
 Proto-Indo-European: "g'ord"-os<g'erd- (to enclose)
 Balto-Slavic>"gardas Germanic > "gardaz
 Proto-Slavicgord Old English >geard
 Russian >rópoa English >yard
 ave
 <Latin
 Wass
 Soundswall fihlend
 whalve Bury
 Ealsound
 <Celtic
 Thavefand
 aldy sea
 fan
 Thamber
 Hitend
 Efchney
 norry Borling
 Berrywin
 Hervewig wat
 <Greek
 avbottomHelsing Wighoury
 Aslea
 Charlsted.
 NEarbrow
 St. Fetherbury
 Westrer Upsel
 Utter
 Haverdys
 eHastrem
 Danlim
 Stotcholmstlend
 aThord
 Fashew
 Righosten
 Yarlewel
 ranae
 Hasseh
 WellyNewyard
 Staving
 SWeeri.ch
 Sinquernis
 Opunthewquerdan
 oten d
 Edwinbury
 Thwer
 Yeatbury Linchippinpping
 Thalled
 Summer
 Ealburya Ewechippingotend Wingsfull
 lathew
 Walemear
 Marcaw
 TarrowYulShaw
 Wighbury
 Waysea halmer
 balty Lewy Dewyfu Widdifish
 Yelytch Ridgen
 Thull
 SQuellwest
 Newhastle n Orth
 Earhouse chippenhaven
 dermarc Malmy
 WenswhRosqurid
 Flensbury Burhoim
 Chile Strealsound
 Brimeavevey Arry thau Yedanch
 Seal
 lithewen
 Hewn.
 f ir elend Mannow iddlesburyS e a
 sea
 Devlin Every
 Smallish r o oslend
 Walow
 Nackenigh
 Harry weinerfirth
 efluil
 Liverpool Manhaster
 Snottingham
 Logds
 wallyard Willen Mennish Maylew Branch
 Sarthaw
 Livish
 Yarden
 Berrin
 Hambury Shithen
 Beverish
 vemarch Bermingham Greninge
 Hairthave a nglend arhamAlcburyBrimeam
 Warny
 Hursh
 hassystoon
 Bealstow b e alroos.
 Warrow Bright
 Oxford The HawAstledámi erPerlen Bicyeste
 Bilifd
 Hamble
 Fishser s omdun ahaster
 Arnat Fadstop Fannen
 Bealyard
 sum
 Hornwatl Fordsmouth anden e nissle bc Sawbuss al S Luvlin
 Hernetchew
 Britchelown
 Ampen, Masthright Whellen Erford
 be theechTend arriaw Handewy
 Yarrow
 Thrighten Wardlaw
 Hew
 Grensy
 Wulchyard
 Loughish Rewn
 Lighish
 Dannish
 Hammenishanver
 Bright nen FermittenburyFranchford
 Hambe WrithenRidden
 Quithmire
 Faldaw
 Lewy
 a wcea nemny
 llenFarry AycawrowanchewishThornfal Winny.
 Yan-
 Arstaw wulchdannish
 eheibegy whess
 Middyaroiage
 wharse Nandy
 Maryfal
 Wine&Nand Earlen. Thrass Stradbury Stoodyard RainburyWeen a w y ltchyardernewyEamen Rew
 Hassy
 Ratch efarry
 uthlendy
 Thurn Quirch
 maldew
 Paverwheane Pan Mair Yatch Quisnew Atteth
 Eachesburye Batty Lind Berthlew Niredgehat
 Fribury Durry Manwin.Saltbury
 Allratonelra ncheworpern
 Fighter
 eThurfall Yersen
 Rassendoor stearfal
 Leasen hstean a strichyeerer
 t ge Yardye palde
 ButhfightWearden
 ungerrt
 Grawen
 Elmwigh
 gKennow
 Hullermund- Lowdun
 Leese-Navy
 Deyw Siven Brassowle
 Rim
 aberfall
 Newroosish
 Sough
 h uven Marbury FesS
 awn
 All Harcen
 Burdyall Ferdnoth corntal Midlende
 Mundalyen Wallende
 Ewshe Thalse
 sen Falf
 Thimb
 Bury Thestee
 Thearen Wern Wind yS a v Therch Yill
 Pigh Sissen
 Humeasce
 wurry
 Pacdem
 Thevels
 BOwerish
 Wigh
 Earend
 Awth
 Pilvew
 Form Culfen V
 Mundwa ighmnigh Fi o h serve
 bassen Bealyard.charlaw
 Yestand
 Letchen St. Thetc er Massle Dlen Livern
 Aw
 swartmere
 armen
 Erven
 cuise
 Ford Brooch Waltheld Bury
 Hambury Salmenthy
 LMe MOUuay
 Spald hornguertushen Sap Fellowrn
 ELsher
 Writ
 Ness
 Fienen
 Ash
 Arth
 Samsen hurftess
 Archroom
 Basti ow Fer
 Harsy t h
 Ayaug
 Bury
 Candiedstch Harbough
 fordcall
 Lispen Hasterhaid
 CHethbury
 Yerrend
 Tharrarrilen
 Fadtaryhassow buller
 Modrigh Serchest
 Blighdew Yatter
 Allynearfall Itefa thmeat
 watterthy
 Room Thulden w sea
 Thetches
 Ban
 alven maytep
 Anger
 iver PadalS pe an Hastlen
 Elsy
 Tirepayer
 Pruss
 Essyhither Heaser Mid
 Welighserthurry Sanlurrow
 Newfall Fathend Thurenaster pp
 Safer Tharineg Luve asten Hather S
 Harve Thr
 Sackende
 Wallend, Foietchery
 Minnery
 Sas
 Pr Waller Whethelnigh channyhal
 Marden
 Earn Sevel Aartave
 ATve
 Sarten thurnen
 PMaller sea
 Arvel
 Massle
 rs
 all itchen
 ly
 gmurn
 MurtheLighendes
 Hassend
 Cassanthaves
 Mally cranthHartchen
 Thensle Hane Addene
 Andle
 Hatts
 athender
 inen
 ch Ascow sea
 Fadder Adden
 HalmethNowfiew
 barth
 Kipralder Almer
 Seft
 Thanger
 Fansarm Measesh
 Marsic SighelRidge Haver
 Yevle
 ursen Yalve
 Andsy
 sur e
 Traven
 sea
 Hathen
 Allchear
 Aircherd
 Arn
 Ump Thunse
 Raff Fess
 Word
 Seriow
 Ruth
 Dart Hamps
 Surry
 Stve Yestanden
 Chuver
 irry
 lavenen
 PerruthTammish
 SitterA
 Thur
 mild
 Wisher
 allchear
 thunse
 marrow
 middlemere
land-of-maps:

Anglicising Europe: If the Anglo-Saxons had been invited to dinner (everywhere). See comments for more

land-of-maps: Anglicising Europe: If the Anglo-Saxons had been invited to dinner (everywhere). See comments for more

wind: Go Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction
wind: Go
Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

wind: Go Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction
wind: Go
Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

wind: Go Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction
wind: Go
Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

Jason Bateman taking a wind screen off a live microphone and watching the sound guy’s reaction

wind: neopetcemetery Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily basis to let in blasts of solar win... metro.co.uk 5h someone has waited their entire career to use this headline goopy-amethyst Scientist should say something else infamy-and-plunder Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Metro.. metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som... 20 Dec 2017 In the distant past, Uranus took an absolute pounding, say researchers, without even cracking a smile. My isn't Uranus full of surprises? Researchers.. There's something very hard heading towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther... 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have long suspected it, but there is something very, very hard near Uranus rains of solid diamonds to be precise. Stanford researchers now believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. .. Extremely high pressure squeezes.. Uranus will be on display to the entire world later this month Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura... 3 Oct 2017 It's every schoolboy's favourite planet- and this month, millions of people will be staring at Uranus. Uranus will be on display on October 19, as the planet... Scientists spot a massive floater hanging around Uranus | Metro News metro.co.uk News Science 5 Sep 2017 Another week, another mystery found right next to Uranus - as scientists discover that the moon Cressida would actually float in a tub of water. NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before | Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas... This guy needs a raise therothwoman Something huge went into Uranus and left it absolutely ruined Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm This hero's name is Rob Waugh Source: neopetcemetery 233,094 notes A
wind: neopetcemetery
 Uranus 'gapes wide
 open for blasts of hot
 wind', scientists claim
 Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily
 basis to let in blasts of solar win...
 metro.co.uk 5h
 someone has waited their entire career to use this
 headline
 goopy-amethyst
 Scientist should say something else
 infamy-and-plunder
 Something huge and hard went into Uranus
 and it got very messy Metro..
 metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som...
 20 Dec 2017 In the distant
 past, Uranus took an absolute
 pounding, say researchers,
 without even cracking a smile.
 My isn't Uranus full of
 surprises? Researchers..
 There's something very hard heading
 towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro
 metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther...
 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have
 long suspected it, but there is
 something very, very hard near
 Uranus rains of solid
 diamonds to be precise.
 Stanford researchers now
 believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of
 carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. ..
 Extremely high pressure squeezes..
 Uranus will be on display to the entire world
 later this month Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura...
 3 Oct 2017 It's every
 schoolboy's favourite planet-
 and this month, millions of
 people will be staring at
 Uranus. Uranus will be on
 display on October 19, as the
 planet...
 Scientists spot a massive floater hanging
 around Uranus | Metro News
 metro.co.uk News Science
 5 Sep 2017 Another week,
 another mystery found right
 next to Uranus - as scientists
 discover that the moon
 Cressida would actually float
 in a tub of water.
 NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus
 than ever before | Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas...
 This guy needs a raise
 therothwoman
 Something huge went into Uranus and
 left it absolutely ruined
 Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm
 NASA wants to probe deeper into
 Uranus than ever before
 Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am
 Something huge and hard went into
 Uranus and it got very messy
 Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am
 Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of
 hot wind', scientists claim
 Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm
 This hero's name is Rob Waugh
 Source: neopetcemetery
 233,094 notes
 A