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Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau @DylanReneau Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is worth taking the risk of getting salmonella @logancooper14 Dylan pull yourself together and go get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some class kingantlion: smallest-feeblest-boggart: ego-ann-16: phantoms-lair: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there! Two words: Raw eggs. ?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on *deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella. MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely. Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead. Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough. Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag??? Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?
Asian, Confused, and Fucking: Dylan Reneau
 @DylanReneau
 Unpopular opinion: cookie dough is
 worth taking the risk of getting
 salmonella
 @logancooper14
 Dylan pull yourself together and go
 get a damn spoon. It's cookie dough
 not a beefy 5 layer burrito have some
 class
kingantlion:
smallest-feeblest-boggart:

ego-ann-16:

phantoms-lair:

ankaa-avarshina:

lorem64:

ankaa-avarshina:


lorem64:
I’m so confused why he would think cookie dough would give him salmonella??? What parent told him this. There’s no chicken in there!
Two words: Raw eggs.


?? What kind of world do you live in where Raw eggs carry salmonella or are in anyway unsafe

Don’t ask me, ask them Americans. I’m an Asian just passing the word on

*deep breath* Though the risk is small, raw eggs can carry samonella.
MORE THREATENINGLY Raw wheat can carry E. Coli. However, if you don’t mind making your own cookie dough, you can easily make it safely.
Take your standard recipe. Omit the eggs. Eggs serve as a binding agent to hold the cookie together. Since we’re eating the dough raw, that’s not needed. Take the flour, put it in a pan and bake it at 350 for 7 minutes. Any E. Coli is now dead.
Just mix the rest of the ingredients together as the recipe is called for and BAM, perfectly safe edible cookie dough.


Thank u so fucking much for this wisdom

wait you’re telling my i can get E, Coli just FROM EATING FLOUR straight from the bag???


Why..why are you eating flour straight from the bag?

kingantlion: smallest-feeblest-boggart: ego-ann-16: phantoms-lair: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: ankaa-avarshina: lorem64: I’m so confuse...

Internet, A Picture, and The Internet: Them: Why are you taking a picture of grapes? Me: The internet will understand
Internet, A Picture, and The Internet: Them: Why are you taking a picture of grapes? Me: The internet will understand

Them: Why are you taking a picture of grapes? Me: The internet will understand

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerf...

Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi Follow @PortiaMoemedi Best thing I have read today innabitots Female chief in Malawi breaks up 850 child marriages and sends girls back to school NEWS 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes aly Follow @AFRODREAMBOY Respect her and say her name: Theresa Kachindamoto. Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi Female chief in Melawi breaks Best thing I have read today up 850 child marnieges and sends gils beck to school Show this thread 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on. Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline. Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this: If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀 Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. QUEEN
Ass, Click, and Energy: Portia Moemedi
 Follow
 @PortiaMoemedi
 Best thing I have read today
 innabitots
 Female chief in Malawi breaks
 up 850 child marriages and
 sends girls back to school
 NEWS
 10:34 PM - 17 Dec 2018
 13,017 Retweets 23,993 Likes

 aly
 Follow
 @AFRODREAMBOY
 Respect her and say her name:
 Theresa Kachindamoto.
 Portia Moemedi @PortiaMoemedi
 Female chief in Melawi breaks
 Best thing I have read today
 up 850 child marnieges and
 sends gils beck to school
 Show this thread
 8:53 AM - 19 Dec 2018
 33,209 Retweets 77,679 Likes
hot-chubbies-with-cheese:
cocoartistwrites:

stained-glass-rose:

taramaclaywasaterf:

thatpettyblackgirl:



This is powerful.


BlackGirlsMagic This is a real queen



I know I say this every time, but I’m saying it again: THEY DONT PUT NAMES IN HEADLINES UNLESS ITS AN INSTANTLY RECOGNIZABLE NAME. They’re not being disrespectful. That’s just how headlines work. They’re not gonna write “John Smith Saves Toddler From a Well” they’re gonna write “Pennsylvania Man Saves Toddler From Well” and then put his name in the article. Most people aren’t gonna click a link/continue reading an article that says John Smith, because who the fuck is that, and why do I care about him? Now, if it was, like, Kim Kardashian saving a kid from a well, you bet your ass they’re gonna put her name in the headline. That’s clickbait GOLD. Her name is instantly recognizable. We know who she is, and we wanna read on.


Again, I’m saying this because, if we focus on the headline not saying Theresa’s name…it completely detracts the focus off the fact that this woman is a damn hero. We’re more upset and angry that she’s been “disrespected” (even though she hasn’t) by the, like, first rule of writing headlines, instead of saying “hey, she is saving these young girl’s lives, how can we help her?” Basically, share the article. Spread her message, share her story, and make Theresa’s name so goddamn well known that the next article that’s written about her WILL have her name in the headline.


Also @ anyone who says “why don’t they say their name!!!!” Consider this:
If you actually click on the damn thing and READ the article, I can guarantee you will learn the person’s name. It WILL be within the body of the article itself. So why are y’all acting like it’s a big mystery/ they’re deliberately erasing them or something? 
Aren’t you reading the article? If it really was so important to you, it shouldn’t take more than 5 minutes to read and learn her name, instead of you know, sharing it without reading it for woke points. 👀👀👀👀👀


Hello I’m a journalist and this is exactly right. Names are news but only if people know them already. I’m so tired of seeing this all the time. It’s a completely nonsense thing to get mad about. Put your energy into something more important - like calling the media out for not covering enough of this. But not for not putting an unknown woman in a headline. 


QUEEN

hot-chubbies-with-cheese: cocoartistwrites: stained-glass-rose: taramaclaywasaterf: thatpettyblackgirl: This is powerful. BlackGirls...