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When He: inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: sonnetscrewdriver: dat-soldier: did-you-kno: Source back the fuck up There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up. So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him. The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off. Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes. did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out This just keeps getting better I fucking love history. ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire. The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked. On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro” and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing. and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave. Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat.  and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked. Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river. Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy.  Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows. Zhuge Liang is legend. I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History. If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff. Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this: Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes. Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D
When He: inquisitorhotpants:

burntcopper:

futureevilscientist:

optimysticals:

uovoc:

konec0:

sleepyferret:

shitfacedanon:

dat-soldier:

sonnetscrewdriver:

dat-soldier:

did-you-kno:

Source


back the fuck up


There’s another story that I like about a Chinese general who had to defend a city with only a handful of soldiers from a huge enemy horde that was in all likelihood going to steamroll the place flat within hours of showing up.
So when said horde did arrive, they saw the general sitting outside the city’s open gates, drinking tea. The horde sent a couple of emissaries over to see what was what, and the general greeted them cheerfully and invited them all to come and take tea with him.
The horde decided that this was a scenario that had “MASSIVE FUCKING TRAP” written all over it in beautiful calligraphy and promptly fucked off.
Whoever that general was, he was clearly the Ancient Chinese equivalent of Sam Vimes.


did he just invite us over for tea nah man i’m out


This just keeps getting better

I fucking love history.

ok but tbh that story misses a lot of the subtlety of the situation like ok
so this story is the Romance of Three Kingdoms, and essentially takes place between Zhuge Liang, resident tactician extraordinaire, and Sima Yi… OTHER resident tactician extraordinaire.
The two were both regarded as tactical geniuses and recognized the other as their rival. Zhuge Liang had a reputation for ambushing the SHIT out of his opponents and using the environment to his advantage, thus destroying large armies with a small number of men. Sima Yi (who kind of entered the picture later) was a cautious person whose speciality was unravelling his opponent’s plans before they began. So it was natural that the two would butt heads; however, since Sima Yi tended to have more men and resources, he started winning battles against the former. Which, y’know, kinda sucked.
On to the actual story: Zhuge Liang is all like “shit i gotta defend this city with like 10 men.” Literally if he fights ANY kind of battle here, he WILL lose; his only option for survival is not to fight. And that’s looking more and more impossible until he hears that his rival is leading the opposing army. And then he gets this brilliant idea. He basically opens all the gates, sends his men out in civilian clothes to sweep the streets, and sits on top of the gate drinking tea and chilling out and basically makes the whole thing out to be a trap
When Sima Yi comes he’s all like “yo come on in bro”
and Sima Yi is like “yeah he’s never been that obvious about his traps before. this is definitely a bluff” and he’s about to head in when he realizes
wait. he knows that i think he’s bluffing.
and so he gets it in his head that maybe, just MAYBE, Zhuge Liang has this cunning plan that will wipe out his army - recall that he has a pretty good handle on what his rival is capable of. And after a long period of deliberation (which is just like “he know that I know that he knows that etc.”), being the cautious man he is, SIma Yi eventually decides to turn his entire army around and leave.
Zhuge Liang later points out that the plan was based specifically on the fact that he was facing his rival; if it had been anyone else, there’s no way it would have worked. A dumber or less cautious person would have simply charged in and won without breaking a sweat. 
and that’s the real genius here: it was a plan formed entirely just to deceive one man, and it worked.

Zhuge Liang is the most brilliant, sneaky-ass bastard in history. One time his side’s army was out of arrows, which pretty much meant they were screwed. So Zhuge Liang goes and does the logical thing, which is build a fuck ton of scarecrows and put them all on boats. Then he makes the men hide in the boats and sail them out on the river.
Well, that day was super foggy (which Zhuge Liang had predicted. Did I mention he was also a freakishly accurate meteorologist?). So the enemy across the river sees a fleet of boats armed to the teeth with what appears to be half an army of men. They panic! and start firing arrows like crazy. 
Zhuge Liang lets this play out for a while, then he’s like, ”Ok guys that’s enough.” They calmly turn the boats around and go back to base, where they dismantle the scarecrows and pull out all the enemy’s arrows.
Zhuge Liang is legend.

I love this post. It just keeps getting better. Like seriously, I would have adored learning about this in World History.

If you want to see this in cinematic glory, watch Red Cliff.
Especially since it makes Zhuge Liang look like this:
Red Cliff is 50% bloody battles and 50% eye candy and about half of that eye-candy is due to Zhuge Liang

I fully support watching Red Cliff; it’s gloriously silly entertainment during the battle scenes.

Guess what just got moved to the top of my watch list?? :D

inquisitorhotpants: burntcopper: futureevilscientist: optimysticals: uovoc: konec0: sleepyferret: shitfacedanon: dat-soldier: so...

When He: Never interfere with your enemy when he is making a mistake. by PM_ME_LOOSE_LIPS MORE MEMES
When He: Never interfere with your enemy when he is making a mistake. by PM_ME_LOOSE_LIPS
MORE MEMES

Never interfere with your enemy when he is making a mistake. by PM_ME_LOOSE_LIPS MORE MEMES

When He: babyanimalgifs: Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)
When He: babyanimalgifs:

Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)

babyanimalgifs: Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)

When He: Our female German raised our male Pit from when he was 6 weeks old. 5yrs & 11 yrs now but he’ll always be her baby (Source)
When He: Our female German raised our male Pit from when he was 6 weeks old. 5yrs & 11 yrs now but he’ll always be her baby (Source)

Our female German raised our male Pit from when he was 6 weeks old. 5yrs & 11 yrs now but he’ll always be her baby (Source)

When He: Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)
When He: Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)

Dog Jumps For Joy When He Recognizes Himself On TV (Source)

When He: relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good
When He: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremembe...

When He: I am glad I live in a country where the President is constitutionally required to give belly rubs even when he’s very busy. (Source)
When He: I am glad I live in a country where the President is constitutionally required to give belly rubs even when he’s very busy. (Source)

I am glad I live in a country where the President is constitutionally required to give belly rubs even when he’s very busy. (Source)

When He: My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed and impressed.
When He: My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed and impressed.

My dad apparently sneaks his remote into a local bar so he can change the channel when he doesn’t like what’s on. I’m equally embarrassed...

When He: My awesome sons birthday card he gave me when he was like 6
When He: My awesome sons birthday card he gave me when he was like 6

My awesome sons birthday card he gave me when he was like 6

When He: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“ Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG. Holy shit The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking. @theproblemkyd @blackkatmagic My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters! I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much
When He: ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead:

ayalaatreides:
professor-maple-mod:

phoenix-phoenix:

stuckinremission:

“Sweet dreams are made of this. Who am I to disagree?“


Holy shit this fucking super power. The avengers did Quicksilver WRONG.

Holy shit

The brilliant thing about this isn’t just the CGI, it’s the clever little touches of humor– mussing the boy’s hair, saving the goldfish, drinking the soda can, the moonwalk, lining up the dart with the dartboard. I notice new details every time I see this clip. You can watch this scene with zero context and still fully enjoy it. You don’t need to know who he is or who he’s saving or why. There’s a guy who runs real fast and he’s saving people from an explosion, and he’s having a blast with it, and that’s all you need to know. It’s entertaining and fully comprehensible even if you know nothing about the movie. That’s damn good filmmaking.



@theproblemkyd  @blackkatmagic  My favorite Live Action Quicksilver! I love Evan Peters!


I just,,,, the fact that it’s fast until he shows up, then it slows down, then speeds up as soon as he leaves? And the fact that nothing actually stops moving, you can see everything still going on around him, rather than being so slow any movement is imperceptible so it just kind of looks like he’s frozen time or whatever? The fact that it shows how he can manipulate physics and stuff when he’s going so fast, like using floorboards that are being blown apart as stepping stones to a girl in the stairs? All of it is just so good I love this scene so goddamn much

ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead: ayalaatreides: professor-maple-mod: phoenix-phoenix: stuckinremission: “Sweet dreams are made of this. W...

When He: requirings: richie will forget this weird dream when he wakes up
When He: requirings:
richie will forget this weird dream when he wakes up

requirings: richie will forget this weird dream when he wakes up

When He: imagine when he has to learn to write his name
When He: imagine when he has to learn to write his name

imagine when he has to learn to write his name

When He: crispy-ghee: There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first meeting w/ Shepard, which I was gonna go on about, but I might make a comic about it later. So have a few sketches. Jagged-Tooth:  A rare Yautja Biotic, an elite Enforcer, and despite a rocky relationship w/ his father, he risked dishonor and punishment to join a faction of Yautja that went against the clan’s decision and went to aid Shepard. They meet when he arrives during the Battle for Palaven as surprise back up. Capable, dry, could be considered friendly…unless you’re Garrus.(When your dad’s ‘favorite son’ seems to be someone who isn’t even his fucking son, and who you think is a total dweeb, you’re not gonna be happy about that, I guess)He takes after his mother more than his father, though has his father’s intensity and skill, if only Cousin were more forthcoming w/ praise for that (he does recognize it, though he is very critical of his son and always being hard on him). Their relationship is that of an accomplished child with a father who has incredibly high expectations. That means that their relationship is very rocky. This started when he was young, as his path diverted early from Cousin’s hopes and plans for him. Not many Yautja are taught to develop their biotic abilities, and due to there being some contention over whether or not biotics are respectable in the Hunt tradition, the training is more often than not discouraged. But Jagged-Tooth went into training, and instead of becoming a traditional hunter, went down the line of enforcement. Cousin still hasn’t fully recovered from that disappointment. Joining the Yautja faction during the reaper war is the first time that Jagged-Tooth has ever had to operate under his father’s lead. He tries to be professional about it. Cousin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard to do the same. Someone described Jagged-Tooth as a “rare Yautja Bishounen” and you know what? Yes.
When He: crispy-ghee:

There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first meeting w/ Shepard, which I was gonna go on about, but I might make a comic about it later. So have a few sketches. Jagged-Tooth: 

A rare Yautja Biotic, an elite Enforcer, and despite a rocky relationship w/ his father, he risked dishonor and punishment to join a faction of Yautja that went against the clan’s decision and went to aid Shepard. They meet when he arrives during the Battle for Palaven as surprise back up. Capable, dry, could be considered friendly…unless you’re Garrus.(When your dad’s ‘favorite son’ seems to be someone who isn’t even his fucking son, and who you think is a total dweeb, you’re not gonna be happy about that, I guess)He takes after his mother more than his father, though has his father’s intensity and skill, if only Cousin were more forthcoming w/ praise for that (he does recognize it, though he is very critical of his son and always being hard on him). Their relationship is that of an accomplished child with a father who has incredibly high expectations. That means that their relationship is very rocky. This started when he was young, as his path diverted early from Cousin’s hopes and plans for him. Not many Yautja are taught to develop their biotic abilities, and due to there being some contention over whether or not biotics are respectable in the Hunt tradition, the training is more often than not discouraged. But Jagged-Tooth went into training, and instead of becoming a traditional hunter, went down the line of enforcement. Cousin still hasn’t fully recovered from that disappointment. Joining the Yautja faction during the reaper war is the first time that Jagged-Tooth has ever had to operate under his father’s lead. He tries to be professional about it. Cousin, on the other hand, doesn’t try as hard to do the same. Someone described Jagged-Tooth as a “rare Yautja Bishounen” and you know what? Yes.

crispy-ghee: There’s been a little bit of interest in Jagged-Tooth, Cousin’s first born son. A specific question was about his first mee...

When He: rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
When He: rubitrightintomyeyes:

theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full...

When He: vaporwavevocap: Like Stalin when he sent a majority of trained doctors to gulags because they were Jewish.
When He: vaporwavevocap:

Like Stalin when he sent a majority of trained doctors to gulags because they were Jewish.

vaporwavevocap: Like Stalin when he sent a majority of trained doctors to gulags because they were Jewish.

When He: We all Thought this Guy was Crazy When He was Actually Ahead of the Game the Whole Time.
When He: We all Thought this Guy was Crazy When He was Actually Ahead of the Game the Whole Time.

We all Thought this Guy was Crazy When He was Actually Ahead of the Game the Whole Time.

When He: When he’s a film buff 😍
When He: When he’s a film buff 😍

When he’s a film buff 😍

When He: That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive
When He: That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive

That water would have been nice and refreshing to Anakin when he was burning alive

When He: The teacher when you arrive 3 min late The teacher when he arrives 45 min late
When He: The teacher when you arrive 3 min late The teacher when he arrives 45 min late

The teacher when you arrive 3 min late The teacher when he arrives 45 min late

When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.
When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.
When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.
When He: My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

My parents wanted to see my brother for his 32nd birthday. This is what he saw when he looked out his window. What a strange time.

When He: babyanimalgifs:I don’t know what’s funnier.. the baby elephant chasing the birds, or when he fell and ran to his mom xD
When He: babyanimalgifs:I don’t know what’s funnier.. the baby elephant chasing the birds, or when he fell and ran to his mom xD

babyanimalgifs:I don’t know what’s funnier.. the baby elephant chasing the birds, or when he fell and ran to his mom xD

When He: He destroys everything when he’s angry. So does my mom.
When He: He destroys everything when he’s angry. So does my mom.

He destroys everything when he’s angry. So does my mom.

When He: heavenin–hell: Headcanon after cannon world: Every morning when he wakes up, he makes sure she is real.
When He: heavenin–hell:

Headcanon after cannon world: Every morning when he wakes up, he makes sure she is real.

heavenin–hell: Headcanon after cannon world: Every morning when he wakes up, he makes sure she is real.

When He: Be as happy as this man when he found rhythm
When He: Be as happy as this man when he found rhythm

Be as happy as this man when he found rhythm

When He: theseriouscynic: iamcon-fu-sion: archivistofnerddom: shipperwolf1: brunhiddensmusings: fierceawakening: guyveranimefan87: eric-coldfire: eldritchgentleman: cruxofargon: the-critical-feminist: cishetwhiteoppressor: Finally, a sane celebrity who doesn’t bend the knee to feminist bullshit. Source My god I love her. I know people are gonna get salty af about this but by God she’s RIGHT. When Brad Pitt did Fight Club, he was cutting weight for every single scene to maintain his physique at 155. I’ve you’ve ever cut weight, you know how horrible that must have been. He did it because they needed a “look”. Changing Tatum said his Magic Mike body doesn’t last for more than five days. He starved down and dehydrated his already fit physique for a “look”. The male soldiers on Spartacus: Blood and Sand were eating pretty much chicken and veggies for every meal to maintain a “look”. Why is this such a big deal? Because all these characters are considered physical goals for men. These are actual unobtainable physical standards for men. Male body image issues get swept under the rug so often that some people don’t even think they exist. You want proof? Just check out that scene in Captain America: First Avenger where Cap just transformed into that beautiful beefcake of a man. Agent Carter’s actress just HAD to touch them muscles, it was completely unscripted. Chris Evans had to wear shirts so small they physically hurt, and he dislocated a shoulder during the helicopter scene in Civil War. But who cares, girls got to wet their panties watching Captain America flex. If we are talking about unrealistic physical standards of male fitness given to us by movies, I would like to mention Hugh “Wolverine” Jackman here. Yeah, he is ripped, isn’t he? Well, it is true, but to get that kind of definition, he went through 36 hour period of dehydration, which caused him to temporarily lose 10 pounds of “water weight”.  Thus during the fight scene he was filming, he was a hair breadth from blacking out whole time, just to look unrealistically muscular. As he said during interview with Steven Colbert, “If You go three days without water, You will die. Then, when You are halfway there they shout ‘Roll it!” It’s the same with professional bodybuilders who get into periods of extreme fasting and dehydration to lower their fat-to-muscle ratio to inhuman levels, all in hopes of making their muscle definition a bit better. According to experts, healthy body fat percentage for a healthy male ranges from 8% to 20%, depending on height, lifestyle and numerous other variables.  Fitness model and professional bodybuilder Helmut Strebl also known as “World’s Most Shredded Man” as he supposedly managed to get his body fat percentage below 5%… … But only when he partakes in competitions, since it is not humanly possible to live with such low fat percentage of one’s body for longer periods of time. I mean, yeah, he keeps a draconian training regime, as well as a very strict diet even off-season, but looks much more human then… There are documented cases of incredibly fit and muscular bodybuilders fainting on the stage in the middle of their flexing routines, as well as several who outright died, because of cardiac arrest caused by their blood becoming too thick, due to long dehydration… And let’s not forget about Muscle Dysmorphia, colloquially known as “Megarexia” or “Bigarexia”. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_dysmorphia Yeah, it’s a thing, but it’s barely talked about, since it’s apparently not manly to admit to having problems like that, which also creates problems with researching this particular disorder… So… Thanks Hollywood? I had no idea that most people who looked like this are dehydrated until I read posts like this. dehydrated to the point theyre about a day away from actual organ failureokay so chris hemsworth is a absolute god of a man, but hollywood says ‘thats not good enough’ and for the thor movie he has to spend several days having the juice squeezed from his body untill he looses about a gallon of whats supposed to be him so that he can do 2 days of shooting scenes without his shirt, after which he has to have recovery time before he is hospitalized because i am not joking about ‘one day away from organ failure’thats the benchmark- look at chris hemsworth and process that he is told he isnt suitable for a shirtless scene without prepping for three days and nearly fainting real feminism acknowledges the unhealthy standards that men are held to. radfems brush them off as non-existent guys, feminism is for you, too. it’s for all of us. Unrealistic body images helps no one and actively hurts men too!! since the discussion of that they put henry cavill through for the witcher is floating around my blog, i want to add this too,. one of the reasons producers get away with this in men and no one criticizes it is because we are fed the lie that this body type is 1) attainable and 2) healthy. We know starving women down to skinniness is unhealthy, but you see an overmuscled man and you don’t immediately think dehydration.  Bruh I love attractive people but I don’t need nobody DYING just so I can swoon for 5 seconds. For fucks sake.
When He: theseriouscynic:
iamcon-fu-sion:

archivistofnerddom:

shipperwolf1:

brunhiddensmusings:

fierceawakening:

guyveranimefan87:

eric-coldfire:

eldritchgentleman:

cruxofargon:

the-critical-feminist:

cishetwhiteoppressor:

Finally, a sane celebrity who doesn’t bend the knee to feminist bullshit.
Source

My god I love her.

I know people are gonna get salty af about this but by God she’s RIGHT.
When Brad Pitt did Fight Club, he was cutting weight for every single scene to maintain his physique at 155. I’ve you’ve ever cut weight, you know how horrible that must have been. He did it because they needed a “look”. 
Changing Tatum said his Magic Mike body doesn’t last for more than five days. He starved down and dehydrated his already fit physique for a “look”.
The male soldiers on Spartacus: Blood and Sand were eating pretty much chicken and veggies for every meal to maintain a “look”. 
Why is this such a big deal? Because all these characters are considered physical goals for men. These are actual unobtainable physical standards for men. Male body image issues get swept under the rug so often that some people don’t even think they exist.

You want proof? Just check out that scene in Captain America: First Avenger where Cap just transformed into that beautiful beefcake of a man. Agent Carter’s actress just HAD to touch them muscles, it was completely unscripted. 

Chris Evans had to wear shirts so small they physically hurt, and he dislocated a shoulder during the helicopter scene in Civil War. But who cares, girls got to wet their panties watching Captain America flex.

If we are talking about unrealistic physical standards of male fitness given to us by movies, I would like to mention Hugh “Wolverine” Jackman here.
Yeah, he is ripped, isn’t he?
Well, it is true, but to get that kind of definition, he went through 36 hour period of dehydration, which caused him to temporarily lose 10 pounds of “water weight”. 
Thus during the fight scene he was filming, he was a hair breadth from blacking out whole time, just to look unrealistically muscular.
As he said during interview with Steven Colbert, “If You go three days without water, You will die. Then, when You are halfway there they shout ‘Roll it!”
It’s the same with professional bodybuilders who get into periods of extreme fasting and dehydration to lower their fat-to-muscle ratio to inhuman levels, all in hopes of making their muscle definition a bit better.
According to experts, healthy body fat percentage for a healthy male ranges from 8% to 20%, depending on height, lifestyle and numerous other variables. 
Fitness model and professional bodybuilder Helmut Strebl also known as “World’s Most Shredded Man” as he supposedly managed to get his body fat percentage below 5%…
… But only when he partakes in competitions, since it is not humanly possible to live with such low fat percentage of one’s body for longer periods of time.
I mean, yeah, he keeps a draconian training regime, as well as a very strict diet even off-season, but looks much more human then…
There are documented cases of incredibly fit and muscular bodybuilders fainting on the stage in the middle of their flexing routines, as well as several who outright died, because of cardiac arrest caused by their blood becoming too thick, due to long dehydration…
And let’s not forget about Muscle Dysmorphia, colloquially known as “Megarexia” or “Bigarexia”.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Muscle_dysmorphia
Yeah, it’s a thing, but it’s barely talked about, since it’s apparently not manly to admit to having problems like that, which also creates problems with researching this particular disorder…
So… Thanks Hollywood?


I had no idea that most people who looked like this are dehydrated until I read posts like this.

dehydrated to the point theyre about a day away from actual organ failureokay so chris hemsworth is a absolute god of a man, but hollywood says ‘thats not good enough’ and for the thor movie he has to spend several days having the juice squeezed from his body untill he looses about a gallon of whats supposed to be him so that he can do 2 days of shooting scenes without his shirt, after which he has to have recovery time before he is hospitalized because i am not joking about ‘one day away from organ failure’thats the benchmark- look at chris hemsworth and process that he is told he isnt suitable for a shirtless scene without prepping for three days and nearly fainting

real feminism acknowledges the unhealthy standards that men are held to. radfems brush them off as non-existent 
guys, feminism is for you, too. it’s for all of us.



Unrealistic body images helps no one and actively hurts men too!!

since the discussion of that they put henry cavill through for the witcher is floating around my blog, i want to add this too,.
one of the reasons producers get away with this in men and no one criticizes it is because we are fed the lie that this body type is 1) attainable and 2) healthy.
We know starving women down to skinniness is unhealthy, but you see an overmuscled man and you don’t immediately think dehydration. 

Bruh I love attractive people but I don’t need nobody DYING just so I can swoon for 5 seconds. For fucks sake.

theseriouscynic: iamcon-fu-sion: archivistofnerddom: shipperwolf1: brunhiddensmusings: fierceawakening: guyveranimefan87: eric-cold...