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Animals, Confused, and Fuck You: saintcucumbers Can someone please tell me what it means when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims towards you and then stares you down?? Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my my friend, it was so close that the wings touched our faces. shiraglassman It's reminding you to do your Duolingo practice demonladytakkuri The real answer is that it really wants you to go away That's a fledgling great horned owl, they're known for being generally ballsy and aggressive, and owls have been known to both climb trees and swim through still water in a pinch Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing flying, but it fell because it's still a kid and they do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was not in fact a duck and headed to you, and was utterly offended but confused on what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face you like the hellbeast it is. The pose it's taking in the pic is one I affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final destination. You were probably its first up close encounter with a human, and since birds tend to associate larger animals with predators, it tried to make itself look as big as possible to make sure you know what's up. It was staring you down because it was waiting to see you make the first move in the dual or flee in fear from its superior owl might. timatisblog This reply made this post ette karmacharmeleon18 me: oh hello little owl owl: i will fuck you up aterrasilvershade Owl: I am lorge! Get spooked! Questionable owl encounters
Animals, Confused, and Fuck You: saintcucumbers
 Can someone please tell me what it means
 when an owl LITERALLY fucking swims
 towards you and then stares you down??
 Like look at it?? Literally flew past me and my
 my friend, it was so close that the wings
 touched our faces.
 shiraglassman
 It's reminding you to do your Duolingo practice
 demonladytakkuri
 The real answer is that it really wants you to go
 away
 That's a fledgling great horned owl, they're
 known for being generally ballsy and
 aggressive, and owls have been known to both
 climb trees and swim through still water in a
 pinch
 Most likely full scenario: the bird was practicing
 flying, but it fell because it's still a kid and they
 do that. It probably fell in/by the water. It then
 was like Oh Damn Oh Jesus and decided it was
 not in fact a duck and headed to
 you, and was utterly offended but confused on
 what to do. So it decided to Square Up and face
 you like the hellbeast it is.
 The pose it's taking in the pic is one I
 affectionately call Full Orb. A fully orbed owl is
 100% READY to FIGHT 1v1 no items final
 destination. You were probably its first up close
 encounter with a human, and since birds tend
 to associate larger animals with predators, it
 tried to make itself look as big as possible to
 make sure you know what's up. It was staring
 you down because it was waiting to see you
 make the first move in the dual or flee in fear
 from its superior owl might.
 timatisblog
 This reply made this post
 ette
 karmacharmeleon18
 me: oh hello little owl
 owl: i will fuck you up
 aterrasilvershade
 Owl: I am lorge! Get spooked!
Questionable owl encounters

Questionable owl encounters

Bitch, Confused, and Food: Hi Hello hello! Lol what's up? All right enough chitchat, let's put our cards on the table. No, I've never swiped right before. No, none of these pictures are of me. Yes, I've been on the lamb since '09. I need to know if I can trust you I'm so confused Confused? No. Confused was what I was when walked into that bank brandishing my dads smith and wessun at the ripe young age of 16. The world doesn't forgive Chrissy. It's a cold, hard bitch What are you trying to get out of this conversation? 3 things: A. Can you provide asylum? B.can you cook? I am lactose intolerant. C. Do you love me Um I only just met you Listen Chrissy, I took a gamble on you. I need you to pull through or this could mean the end of the road for me. Let's see, do you know morse code? Also, you're going to need an alias. How about Brookfield? WHAT IS HAPPENING I go by the Salamander. am tall and I have black hair and very pale skin. I will be wearing a disguise when we meet. Look for the signal: will sneeze three times. You pretend to take a call. I will leave; you follow me at a reasonable distance. Is this understood, Brookfield? Yes? Excellent. Our rendezvous will be at this time tomorrow. We need to be out of the city by sundown. Can you drive stick? No I cannot This really throws a wrench in our plans, Brookfield. Not to worry, I'll drive, but be prepared to switch seats in the unlikely event that we are stopped by law enforcement. Side note, food should be prepared when we get back to your quarters, before we leave. What are you making? I will remind you, I'm lactose intolerant I'm still really confused. It means I'm allergic to dairy products. Please don't use any of them when preparing the meal. No I know what lactose intolerant means... But what's happening in general It's up to you, I'll eat anything as long as there isn't dairy in it. not about the food... Why are we having this conversation Don't get all philosophical on me, Brookfield. I needi you focused, sharp as a tack. Nimble, like a cat None of this existential mumbo jumbo means anything if we don't pull this off. PULL WHAT OFF Read me
Bitch, Confused, and Food: Hi
 Hello hello!
 Lol what's up?
 All right enough chitchat,
 let's put our cards on the
 table. No, I've never swiped
 right before. No, none of
 these pictures are of me.
 Yes, I've been on the lamb
 since '09.
 I need to know if I can trust
 you
 I'm so confused
 Confused? No. Confused
 was what I was when
 walked into that bank
 brandishing my dads smith
 and wessun at the ripe
 young age of 16.
 The world doesn't forgive
 Chrissy. It's a cold, hard
 bitch
 What are you trying to get
 out of this conversation?
 3 things: A. Can you provide
 asylum? B.can you cook? I
 am lactose intolerant. C. Do
 you love me
 Um I only just met you
 Listen Chrissy, I took a
 gamble on you. I need you
 to pull through or this could
 mean the end of the road
 for me. Let's see, do you
 know morse code?
 Also, you're going to need
 an alias. How about
 Brookfield?
 WHAT IS HAPPENING
 I go by the Salamander.
 am tall and I have black hair
 and very pale skin. I will be
 wearing a disguise when we
 meet. Look for the signal:
 will sneeze three times. You
 pretend to take a call. I will
 leave; you follow me at a
 reasonable distance. Is this
 understood, Brookfield?
 Yes?
 Excellent. Our rendezvous
 will be at this time
 tomorrow. We need to be
 out of the city by sundown.
 Can you drive stick?
 No I cannot
 This really throws a wrench
 in our plans, Brookfield. Not
 to worry, I'll drive, but be
 prepared to switch seats in
 the unlikely event that we
 are stopped by law
 enforcement. Side note,
 food should be prepared
 when we get back to your
 quarters, before we leave.
 What are you making? I will
 remind you, I'm lactose
 intolerant
 I'm still really confused.
 It means I'm allergic to dairy
 products. Please don't use
 any of them when preparing
 the meal.
 No I know what lactose
 intolerant means... But
 what's happening in general
 It's up to you, I'll eat
 anything as long as there
 isn't dairy in it.
 not about the food... Why
 are we having this
 conversation
 Don't get all philosophical
 on me, Brookfield. I needi
 you focused, sharp as a
 tack. Nimble, like a cat
 None of this existential
 mumbo jumbo means
 anything if we don't pull this
 off.
 PULL WHAT OFF
Read me

Read me