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Uber, Sto, and Als: zeitig sympath sich durch die Traube von Tauren, die sich gebildet hat, hin- durch und zieht Korfus am Arm von Laurin fort. Letzt die Menschen, die ja bekanntlich gar nichts mit uns zu tun haben.« thisch. Rau und doch irgendwie warm. Er schiebt Die Fragen, wie die Menschen auf die Welt gekommen sind was sie so anders macht, warum sie nichts von uns dürfen, brennen mir auf der Zunge. Aber wir Leonen dü keine Fragen stellen. Irgendwann muss es einen erste schen gegeben haben. Aber das werde ich nie erfahren. Eben- so wenig, wie ich erfahren werde, wie wir Sternenstämme schaffen wurden, woher wir kommen. Man muss denen doch zeigen, dass die sich nicht aufführen können, wie sie wollenls, zischt Korfus. Offensichtlich, dass er nicht der Wortgewandteste ist. Er zieht die Sätze, spricht betont langsam. Korfus! Was ist das überhaupt für ein Name! wissen rfen n Men- Die beiden verschwinden aus dem Klassenzimmer. Ich eile zu Lau Es fallt mir schwer zu glauben, dass dieser Laurin mich nachts aus dem Wald gerettet hat. Spitzgesicht nutzt die Chance, schubst mich so hart gegen die Wand, dass ich vor Schmerz auf den Boden sinke. »Kannst lhm gleich beim Aufwischen helfenk«, zischt er. »Ihr Leonen- Bastardele ge- rin, der auf dem Boden sitzt und sich den Nacken hält. Als der Unterricht vorbei ist, fühlt sich mein Hals an, als hätte ich Sand geschluckt. Ausgedörrt nach all den Stunden ohne etwas zu trinken. Ich schiele auf den Wasserspender in der Ecke. Aber diese Demütigung werde ich mir nicht geben, auch noch ihr Wasser zu trinken. Laurin scheint das anders zu sehen. Ob aus Unbedachtheit oder weil er sie provozieren will. Ich weiß es nicht. Aber ihm ist anzusehen, dass er sich nicht wirklich wohl dabei fühlt. Sei ne Hand zittert ein wenig, als er den Becher unter den Zapf- hahn hält und das Wasser it vor Hass verzerrtem Gesicht folgt er seinen beiden Freunden. Es dauert eine Weile, bis sich die Traube der Schau lustigen auflöst. Manche spucken sogar auf uns. Aber keiner der Leonen unternimmt auch nur den kleinsten Versuch, uns irgendwie beizustehen. Titus schleicht sich aus dem Klassen- zimmer, als hätte er von alldem nichts mitbekommen. Wie kann Minna ihn nur so toll finden? ontainer lässt. Breitstirn kommt von an, stößt ihm gegen di Hand fällt und sich d Vollidiot!a, herrsc laubt, u und drückt ihn ul pt er- acken Auch der Lehrer genießt das Schauspiel sichtlich. Er ver- staut seine Ordner in seiner edlen Ledertasche, zieht seine schicke nuten hier er nicht. Lederjacke über. »Aber seht zu, dass ihr in zehn Mi- raus seid, damit ich abschließen kann.« Mehr sagt ist es Emilian. I ISy I5S
Uber, Sto, and Als: zeitig sympath
 sich durch die Traube von Tauren, die sich gebildet hat, hin-
 durch und zieht Korfus am Arm von Laurin fort.
 Letzt die Menschen, die ja bekanntlich gar nichts mit uns zu
 tun haben.«
 thisch. Rau und doch irgendwie warm. Er schiebt
 Die Fragen, wie die Menschen auf die Welt gekommen sind
 was sie so anders macht, warum sie nichts von uns
 dürfen, brennen mir auf der Zunge. Aber wir Leonen dü
 keine Fragen stellen. Irgendwann muss es einen erste
 schen gegeben haben. Aber das werde ich nie erfahren. Eben-
 so wenig, wie ich erfahren werde, wie wir Sternenstämme
 schaffen wurden, woher wir kommen.
 Man muss denen doch zeigen, dass die sich nicht aufführen
 können, wie sie wollenls, zischt Korfus. Offensichtlich, dass
 er nicht der Wortgewandteste ist. Er zieht die Sätze, spricht
 betont langsam. Korfus! Was ist das überhaupt für ein Name!
 wissen
 rfen
 n Men-
 Die beiden verschwinden aus dem Klassenzimmer. Ich eile
 zu Lau
 Es fallt mir schwer zu glauben, dass dieser Laurin mich nachts
 aus dem Wald gerettet hat.
 Spitzgesicht nutzt die Chance, schubst mich so hart gegen
 die Wand, dass ich vor Schmerz auf den Boden sinke. »Kannst
 lhm gleich beim Aufwischen helfenk«, zischt er. »Ihr Leonen-
 Bastardele
 ge-
 rin, der auf dem Boden sitzt und sich den Nacken hält.
 Als der Unterricht vorbei ist, fühlt sich mein Hals an, als
 hätte ich Sand geschluckt. Ausgedörrt nach all den Stunden
 ohne etwas zu trinken. Ich schiele auf den Wasserspender in
 der Ecke. Aber diese Demütigung werde ich mir nicht geben,
 auch noch ihr Wasser zu trinken.
 Laurin scheint das anders zu sehen. Ob aus Unbedachtheit
 oder weil er sie provozieren will. Ich weiß es nicht. Aber ihm
 ist anzusehen, dass er sich nicht wirklich wohl dabei fühlt. Sei
 ne Hand zittert ein wenig, als er den Becher unter den Zapf-
 hahn hält und das Wasser
 it vor Hass verzerrtem Gesicht folgt er seinen beiden
 Freunden. Es dauert eine Weile, bis sich die Traube der Schau
 lustigen auflöst. Manche spucken sogar auf uns. Aber keiner
 der Leonen unternimmt auch nur den kleinsten Versuch, uns
 irgendwie beizustehen. Titus schleicht sich aus dem Klassen-
 zimmer, als hätte er von alldem nichts mitbekommen. Wie
 kann Minna ihn nur so toll finden?
 ontainer lässt.
 Breitstirn kommt von
 an, stößt ihm gegen di
 Hand fällt und sich d
 Vollidiot!a, herrsc
 laubt, u
 und drückt ihn
 ul
 pt er-
 acken
 Auch der Lehrer genießt das Schauspiel sichtlich. Er ver-
 staut seine Ordner in seiner edlen Ledertasche, zieht seine
 schicke
 nuten hier
 er nicht.
 Lederjacke über. »Aber seht zu, dass ihr in zehn Mi-
 raus seid, damit ich abschließen kann.« Mehr sagt
 ist es
 Emilian. I
 ISy
 I5S
Anime, God, and Love: NOTICE ME SQUIDWARD SENPAI xvatix seimu-art: bluberry-star: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: the au you all asked for omg thank you all for the positive feedback!! Some of you wanted a little more shoujo action so here you go: He maybe doesnt have a nose, ears and fingers and easily gets a sunburn but all what matters is his warm heart! Why dont you see that he is perfect for you, Spongebob? God I hate shoujo heroines! Dont get me wrong, I love Sponjibobu wa maid-sama but Squidward is an asshole. He is only nice when Mr. Krabs is looking! Do you remember when Squidwards heart got possessed by a demon but then Spongebob appeared and saved him? As you know I dont ship them but wow THAT was a good episode. “I believe in you, Tentaculu-kun.” Im so glad Plankton didnt reveal Pantsu-chans identity. He might be a villain but at least he has some integrity. As you know the last episode of Pantsu-chan - Love is magic was aired last sunday. The message of the whole series is so important and deep, wow. God bless the creators for giving us this wonderful piece. “Magic is not an outfit nor is it a wand, its everytime you show love to someone you care about.” OMG guys!! KIWI studios confirmed the third season: Pantsu-chan - The Virgin Soul!!! idk if you read the manga but they will adapt chapter 79-113 which is the Patricku arc ;w; my absolute fav!! Love you Patricku!!! I know you guys are on the edge because of the new TOS of Tumblr but DONT WORRY!! This post wasnt flagged. “Tentaculu-kun?” Its happening guys. It’s good to know that Tumblr is still normal. Best anime ever I
Anime, God, and Love: NOTICE
 ME
 SQUIDWARD
 SENPAI
 xvatix
seimu-art:

bluberry-star:

xnatiix:
xnatiix:

xnatiix:


xnatiix:

xnatiix:

xnatiix:

xnatiix:

xnatiix:

xnatiix:

xnatiix:
the au you all asked for
omg thank you all for the positive feedback!! Some of you wanted a little more shoujo action so here you go:

He maybe doesnt have a nose, ears and fingers and easily gets a sunburn but all what matters is his warm heart! Why dont you see that he is perfect for you, Spongebob? God I hate shoujo heroines! 

Dont get me wrong, I love Sponjibobu wa maid-sama but Squidward is an asshole. He is only nice when 
Mr. Krabs is looking!


Do you remember when Squidwards heart got possessed by a demon but then Spongebob appeared and saved him? As you know I dont ship them but wow THAT
was a good episode.
“I believe in you, Tentaculu-kun.”

Im so glad Plankton didnt reveal Pantsu-chans identity. He might be a villain but at least he has some integrity.

As you know the last episode of Pantsu-chan - Love is magic was aired last sunday. The message of the whole series is so important and deep, wow. God bless the creators for giving us this wonderful piece.
“Magic is not an outfit nor is it a wand, its everytime you show love to someone you care about.”


OMG guys!! KIWI studios confirmed the third season: Pantsu-chan - The 
Virgin Soul!!! idk if you read the manga but they will adapt chapter 
79-113 which is the Patricku arc ;w; my absolute fav!! Love you 
Patricku!!!




I know you guys are on the edge because of the new TOS of Tumblr but DONT WORRY!! This post wasnt flagged.

“Tentaculu-kun?”
Its happening guys.


It’s good to know that Tumblr is still normal. 

Best anime ever

I

seimu-art: bluberry-star: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: xnatiix: the au you al...

Uber, Sto, and Als: zeitig sympath sich durch die Traube von Tauren, die sich gebildet hat, hin- durch und zieht Korfus am Arm von Laurin fort. Letzt die Menschen, die ja bekanntlich gar nichts mit uns zu tun haben.« thisch. Rau und doch irgendwie warm. Er schiebt Die Fragen, wie die Menschen auf die Welt gekommen sind was sie so anders macht, warum sie nichts von uns dürfen, brennen mir auf der Zunge. Aber wir Leonen dü keine Fragen stellen. Irgendwann muss es einen erste schen gegeben haben. Aber das werde ich nie erfahren. Eben- so wenig, wie ich erfahren werde, wie wir Sternenstämme schaffen wurden, woher wir kommen. Man muss denen doch zeigen, dass die sich nicht aufführen können, wie sie wollenls, zischt Korfus. Offensichtlich, dass er nicht der Wortgewandteste ist. Er zieht die Sätze, spricht betont langsam. Korfus! Was ist das überhaupt für ein Name! wissen rfen n Men- Die beiden verschwinden aus dem Klassenzimmer. Ich eile zu Lau Es fallt mir schwer zu glauben, dass dieser Laurin mich nachts aus dem Wald gerettet hat. Spitzgesicht nutzt die Chance, schubst mich so hart gegen die Wand, dass ich vor Schmerz auf den Boden sinke. »Kannst lhm gleich beim Aufwischen helfenk«, zischt er. »Ihr Leonen- Bastardele ge- rin, der auf dem Boden sitzt und sich den Nacken hält. Als der Unterricht vorbei ist, fühlt sich mein Hals an, als hätte ich Sand geschluckt. Ausgedörrt nach all den Stunden ohne etwas zu trinken. Ich schiele auf den Wasserspender in der Ecke. Aber diese Demütigung werde ich mir nicht geben, auch noch ihr Wasser zu trinken. Laurin scheint das anders zu sehen. Ob aus Unbedachtheit oder weil er sie provozieren will. Ich weiß es nicht. Aber ihm ist anzusehen, dass er sich nicht wirklich wohl dabei fühlt. Sei ne Hand zittert ein wenig, als er den Becher unter den Zapf- hahn hält und das Wasser it vor Hass verzerrtem Gesicht folgt er seinen beiden Freunden. Es dauert eine Weile, bis sich die Traube der Schau lustigen auflöst. Manche spucken sogar auf uns. Aber keiner der Leonen unternimmt auch nur den kleinsten Versuch, uns irgendwie beizustehen. Titus schleicht sich aus dem Klassen- zimmer, als hätte er von alldem nichts mitbekommen. Wie kann Minna ihn nur so toll finden? ontainer lässt. Breitstirn kommt von an, stößt ihm gegen di Hand fällt und sich d Vollidiot!a, herrsc laubt, u und drückt ihn ul pt er- acken Auch der Lehrer genießt das Schauspiel sichtlich. Er ver- staut seine Ordner in seiner edlen Ledertasche, zieht seine schicke nuten hier er nicht. Lederjacke über. »Aber seht zu, dass ihr in zehn Mi- raus seid, damit ich abschließen kann.« Mehr sagt ist es Emilian. I ISy I5S
Uber, Sto, and Als: zeitig sympath
 sich durch die Traube von Tauren, die sich gebildet hat, hin-
 durch und zieht Korfus am Arm von Laurin fort.
 Letzt die Menschen, die ja bekanntlich gar nichts mit uns zu
 tun haben.«
 thisch. Rau und doch irgendwie warm. Er schiebt
 Die Fragen, wie die Menschen auf die Welt gekommen sind
 was sie so anders macht, warum sie nichts von uns
 dürfen, brennen mir auf der Zunge. Aber wir Leonen dü
 keine Fragen stellen. Irgendwann muss es einen erste
 schen gegeben haben. Aber das werde ich nie erfahren. Eben-
 so wenig, wie ich erfahren werde, wie wir Sternenstämme
 schaffen wurden, woher wir kommen.
 Man muss denen doch zeigen, dass die sich nicht aufführen
 können, wie sie wollenls, zischt Korfus. Offensichtlich, dass
 er nicht der Wortgewandteste ist. Er zieht die Sätze, spricht
 betont langsam. Korfus! Was ist das überhaupt für ein Name!
 wissen
 rfen
 n Men-
 Die beiden verschwinden aus dem Klassenzimmer. Ich eile
 zu Lau
 Es fallt mir schwer zu glauben, dass dieser Laurin mich nachts
 aus dem Wald gerettet hat.
 Spitzgesicht nutzt die Chance, schubst mich so hart gegen
 die Wand, dass ich vor Schmerz auf den Boden sinke. »Kannst
 lhm gleich beim Aufwischen helfenk«, zischt er. »Ihr Leonen-
 Bastardele
 ge-
 rin, der auf dem Boden sitzt und sich den Nacken hält.
 Als der Unterricht vorbei ist, fühlt sich mein Hals an, als
 hätte ich Sand geschluckt. Ausgedörrt nach all den Stunden
 ohne etwas zu trinken. Ich schiele auf den Wasserspender in
 der Ecke. Aber diese Demütigung werde ich mir nicht geben,
 auch noch ihr Wasser zu trinken.
 Laurin scheint das anders zu sehen. Ob aus Unbedachtheit
 oder weil er sie provozieren will. Ich weiß es nicht. Aber ihm
 ist anzusehen, dass er sich nicht wirklich wohl dabei fühlt. Sei
 ne Hand zittert ein wenig, als er den Becher unter den Zapf-
 hahn hält und das Wasser
 it vor Hass verzerrtem Gesicht folgt er seinen beiden
 Freunden. Es dauert eine Weile, bis sich die Traube der Schau
 lustigen auflöst. Manche spucken sogar auf uns. Aber keiner
 der Leonen unternimmt auch nur den kleinsten Versuch, uns
 irgendwie beizustehen. Titus schleicht sich aus dem Klassen-
 zimmer, als hätte er von alldem nichts mitbekommen. Wie
 kann Minna ihn nur so toll finden?
 ontainer lässt.
 Breitstirn kommt von
 an, stößt ihm gegen di
 Hand fällt und sich d
 Vollidiot!a, herrsc
 laubt, u
 und drückt ihn
 ul
 pt er-
 acken
 Auch der Lehrer genießt das Schauspiel sichtlich. Er ver-
 staut seine Ordner in seiner edlen Ledertasche, zieht seine
 schicke
 nuten hier
 er nicht.
 Lederjacke über. »Aber seht zu, dass ihr in zehn Mi-
 raus seid, damit ich abschließen kann.« Mehr sagt
 ist es
 Emilian. I
 ISy
 I5S
Bad, Head, and Love: firesnaps I had someone tell me that dislike of Umbridge is usually from ingrained sexism toward female villains. I kind of stared in shock-I mean I love my lady villains I love nasty female villains. I love sneaky and clever female villains. I love female villains that wrap themselves up in what the patriarchy expects of them and uses those expectations to smash someone upside the head I tried to explain my hatred of Umbridge isn't that she's full of traditionally feminine attributes It's that she's lawful evil If you did an alignment chart, no one would represent lawful evil more thar Umbridge. I don't think there's ever been a character that better sums up lawful evil. And, to me, lawful evil is the most terrifying and disturbing evil there is To me, lawful evil is the shit that gets thousands of people killed while the person responsible walks away feeling like they did their duty Evil forces like Bellatrix and Voldemort are fairy tales. They're the bad guys a good guy can chase away with a sword or wand Umbridge is that evil that really does lurk in the hearts of men (and women). The realness, the plausibility of it, makes her amazingly uncomfortable So, yeah, I can't get as excited about her as a fantasy book creation as easily as some other female villains. Not because she's a woman, or because of her gender presentation, but because she represents a sort of evil that's far, far too close to home too-bassoon Voldemort is stereotypically scary, but he's a very unreal kind of scary. Umbridge is different. Everyone's had an umbridge the-cimmerians yes because lawful evil wraps itself in righteousness and oppresses you through approved systems and hierarchies that nobody is supposed to question Source.firesnaps 102,194 notes The scariest fictional villains are the ones most likely to be real
Bad, Head, and Love: firesnaps
 I had someone tell me that dislike of Umbridge is usually from ingrained sexism
 toward female villains. I kind of stared in shock-I mean I love my lady villains
 I love nasty female villains. I love sneaky and clever female villains. I love female
 villains that wrap themselves up in what the patriarchy expects of them and uses
 those expectations to smash someone upside the head
 I tried to explain my hatred of Umbridge isn't that she's full of traditionally
 feminine attributes
 It's that she's lawful evil
 If you did an alignment chart, no one would represent lawful evil more thar
 Umbridge. I don't think there's ever been a character that better sums up lawful
 evil.
 And, to me, lawful evil is the most terrifying and disturbing evil there is
 To me, lawful evil is the shit that gets thousands of people killed while the person
 responsible walks away feeling like they did their duty
 Evil forces like Bellatrix and Voldemort are fairy tales. They're the bad guys a
 good guy can chase away with a sword or wand
 Umbridge is that evil that really does lurk in the hearts of men (and women). The
 realness, the plausibility of it, makes her amazingly uncomfortable
 So, yeah, I can't get as excited about her as a fantasy book creation as easily as
 some other female villains. Not because she's a woman, or because of her
 gender presentation, but because she represents a sort of evil that's far, far too
 close to home
 too-bassoon
 Voldemort is stereotypically scary, but he's a very unreal kind of scary. Umbridge
 is different. Everyone's had an umbridge
 the-cimmerians
 yes because lawful evil wraps itself in righteousness and oppresses you through
 approved systems and hierarchies that nobody is supposed to question
 Source.firesnaps
 102,194 notes
The scariest fictional villains are the ones most likely to be real

The scariest fictional villains are the ones most likely to be real

Beautiful, Blessed, and Bones: deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlonstage: fuckyeahdeathlyhallows: sirlestrange: #that is a human as a rat as a cup That was a long 12 years for Wormtail. Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment. Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die. Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out. What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud. Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands). Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out. Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that. And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes. Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom. - Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup. Scabbers had not become a teacup. Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail. It was moving. Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong. Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time. He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.” “Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.” It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either. Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk. “Um, Professor?” Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?” “Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?” “I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along. Nothing happened. Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled. “Now that’s odd,” she said softly. As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer. She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!” And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed. - Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils. Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade. Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back. The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand. - Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed. He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process. From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students. - Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand. “Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared. - Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit. - Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall. Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back. Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap. And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.” In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?” She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away. “Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.” - The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time. Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references. Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”) And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class. A personal record. I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person. Beautiful, simply beautiful! Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is. @deadcatwithaflamethrower My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic* *reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*
Beautiful, Blessed, and Bones: deadcatwithaflamethrower:

hebic:
kyraneko:

balencia:

kitrazzle:

pissedoffweasley:

wizardingheadcanon:

kyraneko:

elidyce:

thatgirlonstage:

fuckyeahdeathlyhallows:

sirlestrange:

#that is a human as a rat as a cup

That was a long 12 years for Wormtail.

Can you imagine how differently their lives would’ve gone if Ron, in trying to transfigure Scabbers, had actually transfigured him back into a human?Just take a moment to imagine McGonagall’s reaction if Peter Pettigrew had abruptly appeared in her classroom from Ronald Weasley’s rat.Take a moment.

Or if Ron had fucked it up a little worse and couldn’t get ‘Scabbers’ back and McGonagall had take him to disenchant him and next thing we know there’s a naked Peter Pettigrew sitting on McGonagall’s desk and the kids in that class learn six new swear words, a hex they will never dare to use, and a fear of Minerva McGonagall’s wrath that will be with them until the day they die.
Ten and twenty years later first years are being pulled aside and warned never mess around in Transfiguration seriously the last time a kid mucked something up in that class Professor McGonagall used two semi-legal hexes, took down a Death Eater and sabotaged the rise of the Dark Lord before Potter had time to get his wand out.

What most of Hogwarts learned first on that otherwise-unexceptionable day was that Professor McGonagall could sure scream loud.
Professor Flitwick’s Charms 5th-year Charms class was close enough to catch the full effect, and the door had been left open besides; en masse the students recoiled with shock and a miscast Hiccuping Charm broke one of the windows (out which the entire flock of ravens they were practicing on escaped to the Forbidden Forest where they only had to worry about centaurs, rather than annoying young humans with wands).
Up in the Divination Tower, Sibyl Trelawny preened over her foresight to have warned her students of an unprecedented catastrophe likely to occur before the hour was out.
Out in Greenhouse Five, a NEWT-level Herbology class looked up in puzzlement, and most of them were subsequently bitten by the Venomous Tentaculae they were attempting to propagate. It does not do to ignore a Venomous Tentacula when you’re prodding at its intimate parts with a cotton ball held in tweezers, so the class was cancelled while two-thirds of the students headed for the infirmary and the rest of them headed into the castle because if they stayed with the Venomous Tentaculae they’d be outnumbered, and nobody wants that.
And down in the dungeons, Professor Snape turned away from comparing Lee Jordan’s Pepper-Up Potion to spoiled cream at what sounded like a woman screaming from the entrance hall. At the second scream, he ordered the class to remain where they were and behave, sweeping out of the room just in time to miss Theodore Nott suddenly jumping up and yelping as if someone had put a crocodile heart down the back of his robes.
Fred Weasley stepped back from the unfortunate Slytherin, shared a smirk with his twin, and stuck his head out the door to make sure Snape had rounded the corner before leading the way out of the classroom.
-
Back in the Transfiguration classroom, about four minutes ago, it had started innocently enough. Ron Weasley, possessed of a broken wand and a lurking suspicion that most of the family’s magical talent had been soaked up by his siblings before he was around to get any, had attempted to turn his pet rat, Scabbers, into a teacup.
Scabbers had not become a teacup.
Scabbers, blast his useless furry little backside, had become a furry, vaguely teacup-shaped monstrosity out of which absolutely no one would have been tempted to drink, and to make matters worse, he still had a tail.
It was moving.
Harry was hiding a smile behind his hand. Dean and Seamus weren’t even trying to hide, elbowing each other and laughing. Parvati and Lavender were looking with disgust and horror at either Scabbers or him, and Hermione was opening her mouth, no doubt ready to tell him exactly what he’d done wrong.
Which only made it worse that he really thought he’d done everything right this time.
He snatched Scabbers off the desk (eww, the base of the cup had the same texture as rat feet) and turned away from Hermione. He made the wand movement again, picturing in his mind the way McGonagall had demonstrated it. “Erreverto.”
“Erreverto. Erreverto. Erreverto.”
It didn’t work. It didn’t work when Professor McGonagall stopped by and gave Hermione two points for Gryffindor for getting the spell perfect in both directions. It didn’t work when Harry made his successful transfiguration (Ron looked; the pattern was a little bit furry but it was definitely a teacup). Ron’s lips formed the shape of a word that would’ve made his mother box his ears had she heard it and attempted the reverse transfiguration, which didn’t work either.
Finally, faced not only with the indignity of failure but the threat of Scabbers being stuck like that, he’d gone up to Professor McGonagall’s desk.
“Um, Professor?”
Professor McGonagall looked up from the paper she was grading and looked from him to the squirming teacup. “Problems, Mr. Weasley?”
“Um, yeah, Professor. I can’t get it to work in either direction and it’s not fair to Scabbers to make him stay as a teacup just because I can’t do a spell right and can you maybe … ?”
“I suppose so, Mr. Weasley,” she said, and waved her wand in the exact manner Ron had been doing all along.
Nothing happened.
Professor McGonagall looked very, very puzzled.
“Now that’s odd,” she said softly.
As one, the other students rose from their seats and quietly moved closer.
She did not attempt the transfiguration in the other direction. Instead, she made a complex motion with her wand and murmured an incantation that possibly only Hermione recognized. The teacup squeaked. Professor McGonagall looked more puzzled than ever, and made a sweeping wand movement that ended with a sharp jab and uttered, “Arcanum finite!”
And there was a loud bang, and there was a pale, pudgy, and very naked man sprawled out on her desk, and she jumped back hard enough to knock her chair into the wall and screamed.
-
Having taught a particularly rigorous course of magical study to children and teens for quite some time now, Minerva McGonagall had become accustomed to certain things. Students who didn’t listen. Students who did rude things to the mice when they thought she wasn’t looking. Students who accidentally turned a frog or a raven into a flock of starlings or a school of strange slimy South American fish (and tried to solve the immediate problem by filling the classroom with two feet of water, neglecting to consider the gap under the door). Students who tried to transfigure their noses into a more appealing shape and wound up in the hospital wing regrowing their nostrils.
Naked men on her desk was something Minerva McGonagall had never had an occasion to get used to. What made it worse was that she recognized this one, and he’d been dead for more than a decade.
Inferius! was her first thought, followed shortly thereafter by Animagus, which collided with Peter Pettigrew! and produced the utterly horrifying thought of what if all four of them were Animagi? which didn’t bear thinking about at all, so her brain jumped to if he wasn’t killed by a Dark Wizard then why didn’t he say so? and realized there was only one possible explanation why, and about that time her eyes registered that parts of Peter Pettigrew she really doesn’t want to know about were flopping about in front of her face, and she was screaming as she jumped back.
The flow of invective which followed somehow failed to surprise her one bit. Some part of her registered, peripherally, the shocked faces of her students, but most of her attention was directed at Peter Pettigrew, who at very least faked his own death and at worst framed Sirius Black and if Black didn’t betray the Potters then who … did. And the words poured out of her, filthy English and filthier Latin while Pettigrew squirmed on the table, his face rage and guilt and fear and something shifty and contemptible, and he turned to look at the stunned students and lunged for Ron Weasley’s wand.
-
Severus Snape had reached the Entrance Hall by the time the scream died away and the invective replaced it. He almost smirked, amid the alarm; of all the things he’d never expected to hear from Minerva McGonagall … he took the stairs two at a time, still not noticing the students who followed.
He did notice the Herbology class, which had stopped on the way to the Infirmary and were staring transfixed in the direction of the Transfiguration classroom, but pushed his way through them, getting Venomous Tentacula pollen all over his robes in the process.
From the other end of the corridor came Professor Flitwick’s Charms class, with Professor Flitwick bringing up the rear and pushing his way between students.
-
Ron looked stunned as the man who’d been his pet rat snatched the wand from his hand; Professor McGonagal’s expression shifted to one beyond fury and when the entire class recoiled, it wasn’t from the naked man with the wand.
“Laedo!“ Minerva McGonagall roared.
-
Ron Weasley’s wand cast a Splintering Curse many years beyond its rightful owner’s abilities, and it did Peter Pettigrew the poor favor of eliminating the door, which might have slowed him down a bit.
-
Severus Snape flailed and skidded to a halt as the Transfiguration classroom’s door shattered. He stepped back just in time, and stared, jaw dropped in shock, as a naked man he recognized from his school days flew past him and bellyflopped against the wall, bounced, and collapsed to the ground just in time to avoid the “Exitium!” which followed and vaporized an impresive chunk of the castle’s stone wall.
Fred and George and Lee Jordan, determined to stay at the front of the crowd, had been pushed almost against Professor Snape by their fellow Potions classmates and some pollen-coated Hufflepuffs. Fred squirmed aside hastily as Professor McGonagall appeared in the doorway, the look on her face so utterly livid that Professors Snape and Flitwick both reflexively stepped back.
Snape tripped over George’s foot and fell against a knot of Hufflepuffs, releasing another cloud of pollen and knocking them backwards. Pettigrew saw his opportunity and took it, scrambling to his feet, stumbling sideways, and launching himself towards the gap.
And Minerva McGonagall made a thrust with her wand and said, “Perdo.”
In the very loud silence which followed, Filius Flitwick squeaked, “The Splinching Charm, Minerva?”
She might’ve looked embarrassed for a moment, and then she smiled as she looked down at Pettigrew, who lay on his belly, his arms and legs lying akimbo some distance away.
“Unorthodox,” she said, “but useful in a pinch. If someone would inform the Headmaster, and send an owl to the Ministry—-not Fudge, not Crouch, someone competent—-Shacklebolt, perhaps. Students, return to your classrooms, please. Mr. Weasley, I’m very sorry, but I do believe it’s impossible to return you your rat. However, the zero I was going to have to give you for the day’s work is entirely undeserved, as you were not transfiguring a normal rat. You may make the lesson up any time this week.”
-
The story was, of course, much embellished by the time it reached all the students. Versions of it had the intruder peppering Snape with a Glitter Hex or transfiguring Ron’s rat into a pair of boxers, and people had to be disabused of the notion that it had been Voldemort who’d been hiding as a rat all this time.
Snape gave both Weasley twins detention for tripping him, and took forty-seven points total from Gryffindor over the next few weeks for various pretend-subtle pollen references.
Kingsley Shacklebolt showed up with a team of Aurors in time to meet Professor Dumbledore; the Wizengamot launched an investigation into the events surrounding the Potters’ murder; the results turned into a scandal which saw the release of Sirius Black and the forced resignation of both Director Bartemious Crouch and Minister Cornelius Fudge. Director of Magical Law Enforcement Amelia Bones was confirmed as Minister of Magic shortly thereafte, and the Daily Prophet reported that Sirius Black (“Godfather to the Boy-Who-Lived!” “Framed, Abandoned, Condemned to Living Hell!” “Heart-Wrenching: His Release In Pictures, Page 17!”) was considering applying for a teaching position at Hogwarts, “but just for a year, I’ve been cursed enough for one lifetime.” (“The Prophet reminds its readers that the so-called “curse” on a certain Hogwarts teaching position is almost certainly a mere string of coincidences.”)
And, Minerva thought with relish some months later, it was almost three weeks before anyone attempted messing around in her class.
A personal record.

I’ve probably reblogged this before but I’m going to do it again right now

I think this is literally the best au this entire fandom has produced

I’ve only seen this legendary bit of writing in memes and screenshots. I feel so blessed to see it in person.

Beautiful, simply beautiful!

Reblogging my own post because a) it’s my damn horn and I’ll blow it if I want to, and b) I just (finally!) cross-posted this to Archive Of Our Own, so if anybody wants to go read it over there, here it is.


@deadcatwithaflamethrower 
My only complaint is that Theodore Nott and Fred Weasely wouldn’t be in the same Potions class. *is pedantic*

*reblogging because now you can bookmark it on AO3*

deadcatwithaflamethrower: hebic: kyraneko: balencia: kitrazzle: pissedoffweasley: wizardingheadcanon: kyraneko: elidyce: thatgirlons...

Anaconda, Crime, and Future: LAD BIBLE UCA PO Box 28 Customer Contact Centre GL52 3ZA Re: Application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry Dear applicant Thank you for your application to the above University. After careful consideration, we're sorry to inform you that you have not been successtul. The reason being that Hogwarts School of wiechcraft and Wizardry is fctional, and a igment of J. K Rowling's imagination. We really did appreciate your letter, specifically the part regarding your "impressive wand skills" and the fact that you had been "shouting Wingardium Leviosa at pigeons in your local city centre. However it is probably important to note that the only reason they began to levitate was because they a) have wings and b) were temified The aurors here at UCAS were also shocked to hear that you had abandoned your A Level revision in order to watch the movies 100 times over. We would advise that in future you should check whether or not the university you're applying for is actually real before giving up on your A Levels completely Also, as much as we appreciate the forward-thinking of "collecting hundreds of frogs from the local pond" so that you can use them for spell practice-we would advise taking them back to their home. Other people may see this as a Sinus crime You're dlearly a very creative person (probably a Huffleput), so it may be worth applying for a drama-related course, or possible script writing. through Clearing There's always spaces, so we're sure you can Stytherin We wish you the best of luck. Got rejected from Hogwarts George Brown Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂
Anaconda, Crime, and Future: LAD
 BIBLE
 UCA
 PO Box 28
 Customer Contact Centre
 GL52 3ZA
 Re: Application to Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry
 Dear applicant
 Thank you for your application to the above University. After careful consideration,
 we're sorry to inform you that you have not been successtul. The reason being that
 Hogwarts School of wiechcraft and Wizardry is fctional, and a igment of J. K
 Rowling's imagination.
 We really did appreciate your letter, specifically the part regarding your "impressive
 wand skills" and the fact that you had been "shouting Wingardium Leviosa at
 pigeons in your local city centre. However it is probably important to note that the
 only reason they began to levitate was because they a) have wings and b) were
 temified
 The aurors here at UCAS were also shocked to hear that you had abandoned your A
 Level revision in order to watch the movies 100 times over. We would advise that in
 future you should check whether or not the university you're applying for is actually
 real before giving up on your A Levels completely
 Also, as much as we appreciate the forward-thinking of "collecting hundreds of frogs
 from the local pond" so that you can use them for spell practice-we would advise
 taking them back to their home. Other people may see this as a Sinus crime
 You're dlearly a very creative person (probably a Huffleput), so it may be worth
 applying for a drama-related course, or possible script writing. through Clearing
 There's always spaces, so we're sure you can Stytherin
 We wish you the best of luck.
 Got rejected from Hogwarts
 George Brown
Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂

Don't worry if you're results weren't great, this lad just got rejected from Hogwarts 😂😂