🔥 | Latest

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Cars, Fire, and God: Jared 2 hrs please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck moving swiftly and safely through thousands of protestors tonight you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home You, Rick d 20 others 2 Comments 1 Share Like Share Comment THROWBACK NIGHT OLD SCHOOLAPROV Speak Out Against Adam Iverson Muslim Ban! 17 mins For the people who complain about emergency vehicles being blocked: GVE MEY AdamlversonPhotography captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around). Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway). It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.
Cars, Fire, and God: Jared
 2 hrs
 please tell me someone got a video of the fire truck
 moving swiftly and safely through thousands of
 protestors tonight
 you know, for all of the "concerned citizens" at home
 You, Rick
 d 20 others
 2 Comments 1 Share
 Like
 Share
 Comment

 THROWBACK NIGHT
 OLD SCHOOLAPROV
 Speak Out Against
 Adam Iverson
 Muslim Ban!
 17 mins
 For the people who complain about emergency
 vehicles being blocked:
 GVE MEY
 AdamlversonPhotography
captain-snark:

ohdionne:

So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest executive disorders. And guess what happened? The old proverb “What if an emergency vehicle needs to get where it’s going” came to life, and the sea went silent and parted to allow it through (swiftly…literally the truck was going about as fast as, if not faster than, it would have been if there had been cars it needed to go around).

Please share this. This was a rare occurrence where an emergency vehicle needed to go through the route of a protest, when usually they have predetermined alternative routes, and it went completely fine. Also for the love of god, have more respect for firefighters/EMTs…they know how to do their jobs. They’re ready for anything, including working around protests. 

So folks can stop using that tired old argument now (not that it was ever backed up by sources anyway).

It’s almost as though these protesters who are protesting for human rights are decent human people.

captain-snark: ohdionne: So Minnesotans showed the fuck up tonight (like we do) - thousands in the street protesting tr*mp’s latest execut...

Android, Birthday, and Christmas: Mevan ls @MeAndVan Hi internet, this is a longshot BUT I was a refugee for 5 yrs in the 90s and this man, who worked at a refugee camp near Zwolle in the Netherlands, out of the kindness of his own heart bought heart exploded with joy. I just want to know his name. Help? me a bike. My five year old 12 aug. 19 om 17:00 Twitter for Android Mevan las @MeAndVan WE FOUND HIM!! A thread After 3000 RTs, 3 news articles, 1 video and thousands of wonderful messages from around the world, @Arjen78 made contact with the family! Guys, I knew the internet was great but this is something else. Mevan | l@MeAndVan 22m Not only did I find him, but I've also had other refugees reach out to me and tell me that him and his wife helped them too! Their kindness has touched so many lives. One woman said "they weren't friends to me, they were family" Mevan | la @MeAndVan 22m AND someone else who worked at the camp got in touch, Sandra, she was incredible too, she helped me use a computer for the first time! I now work in tech! More so than anything I remember these small kindnesses growing up, they helped shape me. Mevan | ls@MeAndVan 14u For those wondering here what five year old Mevan looked like. This was my fifth birthday in the refugee camp in Zwolle She doesn't even know that an incredible bike is coming her way aaaany day now! Deze collectie weergeven 33 1 Mevan l@MeAndVan 23m Later today, 24 years later, I get to meet him in person! Thank you to everyone who made that possible, to every single person who RT'd and to those who sent messages. Special thanks to @Janske1 @Arjen78 @ds Zwolle. I will update this thread with how it goes! WISH ME LUCK! 17 101 t6 Within a day, she found the man who gave her a bike for Christmas almost 25 years ago
Android, Birthday, and Christmas: Mevan ls
 @MeAndVan
 Hi internet, this is a longshot BUT I
 was a refugee for 5 yrs in the 90s and
 this man, who worked at a refugee
 camp near Zwolle in the Netherlands,
 out of the kindness of his own heart
 bought
 heart exploded with joy. I just want to
 know his name. Help?
 me a bike. My five year old
 12 aug. 19 om 17:00 Twitter for Android
 Mevan las
 @MeAndVan
 WE FOUND HIM!! A thread
 After 3000 RTs, 3 news articles, 1
 video and thousands of wonderful
 messages from around the world,
 @Arjen78 made contact with the
 family!
 Guys, I knew the internet was great
 but this is something else.
 Mevan | l@MeAndVan 22m
 Not only did I find him, but I've also had other
 refugees reach out to me and tell me that him
 and his wife helped them too! Their kindness
 has touched so many lives. One woman said
 "they weren't friends to me, they were family"
 Mevan | la @MeAndVan 22m
 AND someone else who worked at the camp
 got in touch, Sandra, she was incredible too,
 she helped me use a computer for the first
 time! I now work in tech!
 More so than anything I remember these
 small kindnesses growing up, they helped
 shape me.
 Mevan | ls@MeAndVan 14u
 For those wondering here what five year
 old Mevan looked like. This was my fifth
 birthday in the refugee camp in Zwolle
 She doesn't even know that an incredible
 bike is coming her way aaaany day now!
 Deze collectie weergeven
 33
 1
 Mevan l@MeAndVan 23m
 Later today, 24 years later, I get to meet him
 in person!
 Thank you to everyone who made that
 possible, to every single person who RT'd and
 to those who sent messages. Special thanks
 to @Janske1 @Arjen78 @ds Zwolle.
 I will update this thread with how it goes!
 WISH ME LUCK!
 17
 101
 t6
Within a day, she found the man who gave her a bike for Christmas almost 25 years ago

Within a day, she found the man who gave her a bike for Christmas almost 25 years ago

Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex ORIGINAL NOV Windex the Bean 15 726. 2113 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it NOV 13 726. 2113 Paint Thinner Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They Paint It Black So We Can Windex NOV 13 debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor. An older project, but he also did this: (x) oh dude hes metal as fuck  Every addition to this post is better than the last. Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again? Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it. Me: Me: :)
Birthday, Douchebag, and Dude: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
debthestoner:

rrdcooc:

addakax:

mysticalalleycat:

politicalcdnmama:

theresagooseinthemainframe:

0-memento-mori-0:

justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


He is my fucking role model for pettiness oh my god 


It got better! I’m also excited because he just released biodegradable glitter in non plastic containers! How amazing is that?! Stuart Semple, good guy for the planet and artists, fighter against the rich elite artist like asshole Kapoor.


An older project, but he also did this:
(x)

oh dude hes metal as fuck 

Every addition to this post is better than the last.


Me, being gay and having my blood drawn: so…what do you need my blood for again?
Stuart Semple: gonna make an anti-government t-shirt with it.
Me:
Me: :)

debthestoner: rrdcooc: addakax: mysticalalleycat: politicalcdnmama: theresagooseinthemainframe: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: clayda...

Energy, Money, and Skinny: Good old days... MEN WOULDN'T LOOK AT ME WHENI WAS SKINNY but... Since I Gained 10 Pounds This New, Easy Way I Have All the Dates I Want NOW there's no necd t ain an ounce before. Here's a new, easy treatment that is giving thousands attractive flesh-in just a few weceks! u wwith this new veast discovery in little tablets, you can get far greater tonle re- sults-regain health, and also put on pounds of firm Not only are thousands quickly gaining beauty- bringing pounds, but also elear skin, freedom from indigestion and constipation, new pep. Concentrated 7 times amazing new product, Ironized Yeast, is This made from specially cultured brewers ale yeast imported from Europe-the richest yeast known whieh ro ulcentrated 7 times But that is not all! This super-rich yeast is iron- ized with 3 speclal kinds of iron which strengthen the blood, add energy. u take Ironized Yeast tab- lets. watch Bat chest develop, skinny limbs round out attractively. Skin clears to beauty, new health comes-you're an entirely new person. Results guaranteed No matter how skinny and weak you may be, or how long you have been that way, this marvelous hort weeks as it has thousands. It you are not delighted with the results of the very first pack age, your money will be instantly refunded. Special FREE offer! To start you building up your health right away, we make this absolutely FREE offer. Purchase a h s on the hox and mail it to us with a clin ping of this paragraph. We will send you a fasci- Redy well-known authority. Remember, re- sults are guaranteed with the very first package- OT money 98Atianta, Co Ironized Yeast Co., Inc., Dept. Pd y prafeeimalodel THE META PICTURE srsfunny: Things Were So Different Back Then
Energy, Money, and Skinny: Good old days...
 MEN
 WOULDN'T
 LOOK AT ME
 WHENI WAS
 SKINNY
 but...
 Since I Gained 10 Pounds
 This New, Easy Way
 I Have All the Dates I Want
 NOW there's no necd t
 ain an ounce
 before. Here's a new, easy treatment that is giving
 thousands attractive flesh-in just a few weceks!
 u wwith this new veast discovery
 in little tablets, you can get far greater tonle re-
 sults-regain health, and also put on pounds of firm
 Not only are thousands quickly gaining beauty-
 bringing pounds, but also elear skin, freedom
 from indigestion and constipation, new pep.
 Concentrated 7 times
 amazing new product, Ironized Yeast, is
 This
 made from specially cultured brewers ale yeast
 imported from Europe-the richest yeast known
 whieh ro ulcentrated 7 times
 But that is not all! This super-rich yeast is iron-
 ized with 3 speclal kinds of iron which strengthen
 the blood, add energy.
 u take Ironized Yeast tab-
 lets. watch Bat chest develop, skinny limbs round
 out attractively. Skin clears to beauty, new health
 comes-you're an entirely new person.
 Results guaranteed
 No matter how skinny and weak you may be, or
 how long you have been that way, this marvelous
 hort weeks as it has thousands. It you are not
 delighted with the results of the very first pack
 age, your money will be instantly refunded.
 Special FREE offer!
 To start you building up your health right away,
 we make this absolutely FREE offer. Purchase a
 h s on the hox and mail it to us with a clin
 ping of this paragraph. We will send you a fasci-
 Redy well-known authority. Remember, re-
 sults are guaranteed with the very first package-
 OT money 98Atianta, Co Ironized Yeast
 Co., Inc., Dept.
 Pd y prafeeimalodel
 THE META PICTURE
srsfunny:

Things Were So Different Back Then

srsfunny: Things Were So Different Back Then

Energy, Money, and Skinny: Good old days... MEN WOULDN'T LOOK AT ME WHENI WAS SKINNY but... Since I Gained 10 Pounds This New, Easy Way I Have All the Dates I Want NOW there's no necd t ain an ounce before. Here's a new, easy treatment that is giving thousands attractive flesh-in just a few weceks! u wwith this new veast discovery in little tablets, you can get far greater tonle re- sults-regain health, and also put on pounds of firm Not only are thousands quickly gaining beauty- bringing pounds, but also elear skin, freedom from indigestion and constipation, new pep. Concentrated 7 times amazing new product, Ironized Yeast, is This made from specially cultured brewers ale yeast imported from Europe-the richest yeast known whieh ro ulcentrated 7 times But that is not all! This super-rich yeast is iron- ized with 3 speclal kinds of iron which strengthen the blood, add energy. u take Ironized Yeast tab- lets. watch Bat chest develop, skinny limbs round out attractively. Skin clears to beauty, new health comes-you're an entirely new person. Results guaranteed No matter how skinny and weak you may be, or how long you have been that way, this marvelous hort weeks as it has thousands. It you are not delighted with the results of the very first pack age, your money will be instantly refunded. Special FREE offer! To start you building up your health right away, we make this absolutely FREE offer. Purchase a h s on the hox and mail it to us with a clin ping of this paragraph. We will send you a fasci- Redy well-known authority. Remember, re- sults are guaranteed with the very first package- OT money 98Atianta, Co Ironized Yeast Co., Inc., Dept. Pd y prafeeimalodel THE META PICTURE srsfunny:Things Were So Different Back Then
Energy, Money, and Skinny: Good old days...
 MEN
 WOULDN'T
 LOOK AT ME
 WHENI WAS
 SKINNY
 but...
 Since I Gained 10 Pounds
 This New, Easy Way
 I Have All the Dates I Want
 NOW there's no necd t
 ain an ounce
 before. Here's a new, easy treatment that is giving
 thousands attractive flesh-in just a few weceks!
 u wwith this new veast discovery
 in little tablets, you can get far greater tonle re-
 sults-regain health, and also put on pounds of firm
 Not only are thousands quickly gaining beauty-
 bringing pounds, but also elear skin, freedom
 from indigestion and constipation, new pep.
 Concentrated 7 times
 amazing new product, Ironized Yeast, is
 This
 made from specially cultured brewers ale yeast
 imported from Europe-the richest yeast known
 whieh ro ulcentrated 7 times
 But that is not all! This super-rich yeast is iron-
 ized with 3 speclal kinds of iron which strengthen
 the blood, add energy.
 u take Ironized Yeast tab-
 lets. watch Bat chest develop, skinny limbs round
 out attractively. Skin clears to beauty, new health
 comes-you're an entirely new person.
 Results guaranteed
 No matter how skinny and weak you may be, or
 how long you have been that way, this marvelous
 hort weeks as it has thousands. It you are not
 delighted with the results of the very first pack
 age, your money will be instantly refunded.
 Special FREE offer!
 To start you building up your health right away,
 we make this absolutely FREE offer. Purchase a
 h s on the hox and mail it to us with a clin
 ping of this paragraph. We will send you a fasci-
 Redy well-known authority. Remember, re-
 sults are guaranteed with the very first package-
 OT money 98Atianta, Co Ironized Yeast
 Co., Inc., Dept.
 Pd y prafeeimalodel
 THE META PICTURE
srsfunny:Things Were So Different Back Then

srsfunny:Things Were So Different Back Then

Community, Family, and Finance: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200. Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this Unless you cosigned the loan, are a joint account holder, or a spouse of the deceased in a community property state, you would likely not be on the hook for any debts from the deceased. The executor of their estate will be in charge of addressing the loans with the help of the estate and hopefully life insurance money, but if there isn’t enough in that to pay off the debts then creditors are just shit out of luck and they legally are not allowed to mislead you into thinking you have to pay them back when you don’t (which is not to say that they don’t try). You have a legal right to order them not to contact you via letter.
Community, Family, and Finance: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing 
And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this 


Unless you cosigned the loan, are a joint account holder, or a spouse of the deceased in a community property state, you would likely not be on the hook for any debts from the deceased. The executor of their estate will be in charge of addressing the loans with the help of the estate and hopefully life insurance money, but if there isn’t enough in that to pay off the debts then creditors are just shit out of luck and they legally are not allowed to mislead you into thinking you have to pay them back when you don’t (which is not to say that they don’t try). You have a legal right to order them not to contact you via letter.

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitali...

Family, Get Money, and God: Cancel Your Credit Card Before You Die A lady died this past January, and the bank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on the monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to the Bank Here is the exchange Family Member: am calling to tell you she died back in January Bank The account was never closed and the late fees and charges stil apply. Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections. Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.' Family Member So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?' Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!' Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at her?' Bank: 'Excuse me?' Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was telling you - the part about her being dead?' Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.' Supervisor gets on the phone: Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance. Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.' Family Member from her estate?' Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?' Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew. (Lawyer info was given) Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?' Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given) You mean you want to collect After they get the fax Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help. Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care. Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply. (What is wrong with these people?1?) Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing address?' Bank: That might help... Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery Highway 129, Plot Number 69.' Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery ! Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet? thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. She didn’t need to pay. When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility. In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will. Debts and Deceased Relatives Here’s a link to the detail on that one. Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money They really do. My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.” Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN. If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves. The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off. Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200. Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this
Family, Get Money, and God: Cancel Your Credit Card Before
 You Die
 A lady died this past January, and the bank billed
 her for February and March for their annual service
 charges on her credit card, and added late fees and
 interest on the monthly charge. The balance had
 been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere
 around $60.00. A family member placed a call to
 the Bank

 Here is the exchange
 Family Member: am calling to tell you she died
 back in January
 Bank The account was never closed and the late
 fees and charges stil apply.
 Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to
 collections.
 Bank: 'Since it is two months past due, it already
 has been.'
 Family Member So, what will they do when they
 find out she is dead?'
 Bank: 'Either report her account to frauds division
 or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'
 Family Member 'Do you think God will be mad at
 her?'
 Bank: 'Excuse me?'

 Family Member: 'Did you just get what I was
 telling you -
 the part about her being dead?'
 Bank: 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'
 Supervisor gets on the phone:
 Family Member 'I'm calling to tell you, she died
 back in January with a $0 balance.
 Bank: 'The account was never closed and late fees
 and charges still apply.'
 Family Member
 from her estate?'
 Bank (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'
 Family Member 'No, I'm her great nephew.
 (Lawyer info was given)
 Bank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'
 Family Member 'Sure. (Fax number was given)
 You mean you want to collect

 After they get the fax
 Bank: 'Our system just isn't setup for death.
 I don't know what more I can do to help.
 Family Member 'Well, if you figure it out, great!
 If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't
 care.
 Bank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still
 apply.
 (What is wrong with these people?1?)
 Family Member: 'Would you like her new billing
 address?'
 Bank: That might help...
 Family Member: 'Odessa Memorial Cemetery
 Highway 129, Plot Number 69.'
 Bank: 'Sir, that's a cemetery !
 Family Member: 'And what do you do with dead
 people on your planet?
thefingerfuckingfemalefury:
ohgoditsneph:

niniblack:

eudoxiav:


lawful-evil-novelist:

theludicrousrival:


billiam-spockspeare:
Capitalism will put the bill on your grave and harass your grieving family until they pay

One of my cousins passed away unexpectedly at the age of 35, and had been paying back a loan from the bank. About two weeks after his death, my great aunt received a statement from the bank (his mail was being delivered to her house) about a late payment. She called the bank and explained the situation and the only thing a manager could say was “Well, that’s unfortunate. We can arrange so payments will resume in 30 days, that should be enough time to have already paid for the other arrangements.” 
On top of the unexpected $10,000 funeral, cremation and burial bill, my aunt had to finish paying my uncle’s $5,000 loan. She’s a disabled retiree, on a fixed income, and could barely afford to pay for her insulin for diabetes. She nearly lost her home of more than 40 years. Fuck the system. 


She didn’t need to pay.  When people die, their debts are not their family’s responsibility.
In fact, it is outright illegal to try and collect those debts from a person who didn’t cosign the loan and isn’t executing the will.
Debts and Deceased Relatives
Here’s a link to the detail on that one.


Banks count on people not knowing that last comment so that they can still get money


They really do. 
My great-grandmother had her identity stolen before she died at the age of 93, and thousands of charges were racked up on credit cards in her name. After she passed away, they called my mother to try and collect. My mom laughed at them, and told them: “She’s dead, good luck collecting.” The credit card asked my mother, “Don’t you want to clear your grandmother’s debts? Don’t you want to clear her good name?” My mom laughed at them again. “No,” she said. “Because a 90 year old wasn’t watching porn with those credit cards, and her name is fine. Don’t give credit cards to old women likely to pass away soon. This is on you.”
Which is how I learned as a young child to always question collection agents, and to never pay off debts that aren’t your own. They often can’t even collect that money from the estate, if there is one, depending on how you write your will and what kind of account the money was kept in. 

DO NOT EVER PAY OFF DEBTS THAT AREN’T YOUR OWN.

If a loved one of yours dies and bill collectors (credit cards, loans, etc etc) start calling you off the hook and request that you pay off their debts, tell them in no uncertain terms to go fuck themselves.
The reason being is that the moment you give them a single penny, that debt is now on YOU because you’ve now agreed to pay it off.

Do not agree to pay off their debt. Do not pass go, do not give them $200.

Boosting this to let people know that if any of these greedy little dog-fuckers start harassing them to pay off a relatives debt the correct thing to do is just tell them to piss off and not pay them a single thing 
And that there is NOTHING they can do if you do this

thefingerfuckingfemalefury: ohgoditsneph: niniblack: eudoxiav: lawful-evil-novelist: theludicrousrival: billiam-spockspeare: Capitali...