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Donald Trump, New York, and News: BuzzFeed News REPORTING TO YOU Secret Files Show How Trump Moscow Talks Unfolded While Trump Heaped Praise On Putin Ahead of Michael Cohen's testimony, read the original paper trail behind the campaign to build Europe's tallest tower in Moscow- and how it played out alongside Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Azeen Ghorayshi BuzzFeed News Reporter Jason Leopold BuzzFeed News Reporter Anthony Cormier BuzzFeed News Reporter Enma Loop BuzzFeed News Reporter Posted on February 5, 2019, at 9:20 a.m. ET Very truly yours TRUM ACQU SUTION, LLO y: Name: Title: THE ABOVE ISKNOWLEDGED CONSENTED T ND AGREED TOB 1.C. EXPE STMENT COMP By: Andre Obtained by BuzzFeed News As a candidate, Donald Trump had a lot of praise for Vladimir Putin - and no business, he kept insisting, in Russia. These documents tell a different story October 11, 2015 Trump is asked about similarities with Putin I think that we are very different. I think that I would at the same time get along very well with him." October 28, 2015 A final version of the letter of intent gets the Russian developer's signature, along with Donald Trump's Very truly yours, TRUM ACQUSITION, LLC By: mc Title: November 3, 2015 THE ABOVE IS ACKNOWLEDGED, CONSENTED TO AND AGREED TO BY: I.C. EXPERT INVE ENT COMPANY y: Andre CEO TE HOUSE The day Trump signed the LOI was also the day of the third Republican primary debate The day after the countersigned letter of intent is circulated, Trump holds a press conference at Trump Tower in New York City T believe we will have a very good relationship with Russia.I believe that I will have a very good relationship with Putin ΠœΠ°Ρ€ΠΈΡ Π‘ΡƒΡ‚ΠΈΠ½Π° 11 июл 2015 Волько Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ спросила ΠΊΠ°Π½Π΄ΠΈΠ΄Π°Ρ‚Π° Π² ΠΏΡ€Π΅Π·ΠΈΠ΄Π΅Π½Ρ‚Ρ‹ БША Π”ΠΎΠ½Π°Π»ΡŒΠ΄Π° Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏΠ° ΠΎ Π΅Π³ΠΎ ΠΏΠΎΠ·ΠΈΡ†ΠΈΠΈ Π² ΠΎΡ‚Π½ΠΎΡˆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠΈ России ΠΈ санкций Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏ r。ворит ΠΎ нСобходимости смягчСния санкций, Ссли Π±ΡƒΠ΄Π΅Ρ‚ ΠΈΠ·Π±Ρ€Π°Π½. Π’ΠΎΡ‚ Π²Π°ΠΌ ΠΈ рСспубликанцы, ΠΊΠΎΡ‚ΠΎΡ€Ρ‹Π΅ якобы ΠΏΡ€ΠΎΡ‚ΠΈΠ² России ΠœΠΈΡ…Π°ΠΈΠ» Π‘ΡƒΡ‚Ρ€ΠΈΠΌΠΎΠ² масонский ΠΊΡ€ΡƒΠ³ БША сам ΠΏΠΎΡ‚ΠΎΠΌ Ρ€Π΅ΡˆΠΈΡ‚, ΡΠΌΡΠ³Ρ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ Π»ΠΈ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ ΡƒΠΆΠ΅ΡΡ‚ΠΎΡ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ. 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ rump ΠšΠΎΠ½ΡΡ‚Π°Π½Ρ‚ΠΈΠ½ НиколаСвич ΠΏΠΈΠ·Π΄Π΅Ρ‚ΡŒ-Π½Π΅ мСшки Π²ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΡ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Π’ΠΈΡ‚Π°Π»ΠΈΠΉ Π€Ρ€ΠΈΠ·Π΅Π½ Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏ-Π±Π°Ρ€Ρ‹Π³Π°. Π“ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€ΠΈΡ‚ ΠΎΠ΄Π½ΠΎ, Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°Π΅Ρ‚ Π²Ρ‚ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΠ΅, Π΄Π΅Π»Π°Π΅Ρ‚ Ρ‚Ρ€Π΅Ρ‚ΡŒΠ΅. Π’Π°ΠΊΠΈΠΌ ΠΊΠ°ΠΊ ΠΎΠ½ Π²Π΅Ρ€Ρ‹ Π½Π΅Ρ‚. 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ ΠšΠΎΠ½ΡΡ‚Π°Π½Ρ‚ΠΈΠ½ Π’ΠΎΠ³Π°ΠΉ Π·Π°ΠΈΠ³Ρ€Ρ‹Π²Π°Π΅Ρ‚. ΠŸΠΎΠ½Ρ€Π°Π²ΠΈΠ»Π°ΡΡŒ Π½Π°Π²Π΅Ρ€Π½ΠΎΠ΅ 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Антон ΠšΠ°Ρ€Π»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡ‡ ΡˆΠ½ΡƒΡ€-Π’Ρ‹Π±ΠΎΡ€Ρ‹ 2:15 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Buzzfeed's new Trump Tower Moscow timeline missed my favourite bit of Putin-Praise : 11th July 2015, Freedomfest, Las Vegas
Donald Trump, New York, and News: BuzzFeed News REPORTING TO YOU Secret Files Show How Trump Moscow Talks Unfolded While Trump Heaped Praise On Putin Ahead of Michael Cohen's testimony, read the original paper trail behind the campaign to build Europe's tallest tower in Moscow- and how it played out alongside Donald Trump's presidential campaign. Azeen Ghorayshi BuzzFeed News Reporter Jason Leopold BuzzFeed News Reporter Anthony Cormier BuzzFeed News Reporter Enma Loop BuzzFeed News Reporter Posted on February 5, 2019, at 9:20 a.m. ET Very truly yours TRUM ACQU SUTION, LLO y: Name: Title: THE ABOVE ISKNOWLEDGED CONSENTED T ND AGREED TOB 1.C. EXPE STMENT COMP By: Andre Obtained by BuzzFeed News As a candidate, Donald Trump had a lot of praise for Vladimir Putin - and no business, he kept insisting, in Russia. These documents tell a different story October 11, 2015 Trump is asked about similarities with Putin I think that we are very different. I think that I would at the same time get along very well with him." October 28, 2015 A final version of the letter of intent gets the Russian developer's signature, along with Donald Trump's Very truly yours, TRUM ACQUSITION, LLC By: mc Title: November 3, 2015 THE ABOVE IS ACKNOWLEDGED, CONSENTED TO AND AGREED TO BY: I.C. EXPERT INVE ENT COMPANY y: Andre CEO TE HOUSE The day Trump signed the LOI was also the day of the third Republican primary debate The day after the countersigned letter of intent is circulated, Trump holds a press conference at Trump Tower in New York City T believe we will have a very good relationship with Russia.I believe that I will have a very good relationship with Putin ΠœΠ°Ρ€ΠΈΡ Π‘ΡƒΡ‚ΠΈΠ½Π° 11 июл 2015 Волько Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ спросила ΠΊΠ°Π½Π΄ΠΈΠ΄Π°Ρ‚Π° Π² ΠΏΡ€Π΅Π·ΠΈΠ΄Π΅Π½Ρ‚Ρ‹ БША Π”ΠΎΠ½Π°Π»ΡŒΠ΄Π° Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏΠ° ΠΎ Π΅Π³ΠΎ ΠΏΠΎΠ·ΠΈΡ†ΠΈΠΈ Π² ΠΎΡ‚Π½ΠΎΡˆΠ΅Π½ΠΈΠΈ России ΠΈ санкций Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏ r。ворит ΠΎ нСобходимости смягчСния санкций, Ссли Π±ΡƒΠ΄Π΅Ρ‚ ΠΈΠ·Π±Ρ€Π°Π½. Π’ΠΎΡ‚ Π²Π°ΠΌ ΠΈ рСспубликанцы, ΠΊΠΎΡ‚ΠΎΡ€Ρ‹Π΅ якобы ΠΏΡ€ΠΎΡ‚ΠΈΠ² России ΠœΠΈΡ…Π°ΠΈΠ» Π‘ΡƒΡ‚Ρ€ΠΈΠΌΠΎΠ² масонский ΠΊΡ€ΡƒΠ³ БША сам ΠΏΠΎΡ‚ΠΎΠΌ Ρ€Π΅ΡˆΠΈΡ‚, ΡΠΌΡΠ³Ρ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ Π»ΠΈ ΠΈΠ»ΠΈ ΡƒΠΆΠ΅ΡΡ‚ΠΎΡ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ. 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ rump ΠšΠΎΠ½ΡΡ‚Π°Π½Ρ‚ΠΈΠ½ НиколаСвич ΠΏΠΈΠ·Π΄Π΅Ρ‚ΡŒ-Π½Π΅ мСшки Π²ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΡ‡Π°Ρ‚ΡŒ 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Π’ΠΈΡ‚Π°Π»ΠΈΠΉ Π€Ρ€ΠΈΠ·Π΅Π½ Π’Ρ€Π°ΠΌΠΏ-Π±Π°Ρ€Ρ‹Π³Π°. Π“ΠΎΠ²ΠΎΡ€ΠΈΡ‚ ΠΎΠ΄Π½ΠΎ, Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°Π΅Ρ‚ Π²Ρ‚ΠΎΡ€ΠΎΠ΅, Π΄Π΅Π»Π°Π΅Ρ‚ Ρ‚Ρ€Π΅Ρ‚ΡŒΠ΅. Π’Π°ΠΊΠΈΠΌ ΠΊΠ°ΠΊ ΠΎΠ½ Π²Π΅Ρ€Ρ‹ Π½Π΅Ρ‚. 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ ΠšΠΎΠ½ΡΡ‚Π°Π½Ρ‚ΠΈΠ½ Π’ΠΎΠ³Π°ΠΉ Π·Π°ΠΈΠ³Ρ€Ρ‹Π²Π°Π΅Ρ‚. ΠŸΠΎΠ½Ρ€Π°Π²ΠΈΠ»Π°ΡΡŒ Π½Π°Π²Π΅Ρ€Π½ΠΎΠ΅ 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Антон ΠšΠ°Ρ€Π»ΠΎΠ²ΠΈΡ‡ ΡˆΠ½ΡƒΡ€-Π’Ρ‹Π±ΠΎΡ€Ρ‹ 2:15 11 июл 2015 ΠžΡ‚Π²Π΅Ρ‚ΠΈΡ‚ΡŒ Buzzfeed's new Trump Tower Moscow timeline missed my favourite bit of Putin-Praise : 11th July 2015, Freedomfest, Las Vegas

Buzzfeed's new Trump Tower Moscow timeline missed my favourite bit of Putin-Praise : 11th July 2015, Freedomfest, Las Vegas

Community, Dicks, and Kkk: Tariq Nasheed @tariqnasheed Follow Insitoad ()i. marching 8' bo(jging for the city to remove Confederate statues from city parks, e lack rnn in Meermphis purchased the parks that had statues of Jefferson Davis & Nathan Bedford Forrest (founder of the KKK). Then THEY had the statues removed from THEIR property #Salute 1:48 334K views 1:06 PM-23 Dec 2017 721 t 13K 28K slightlypsychicparade: thatpettyblackgirl: No kneeling. No marching.#BlackExcellence Ugh. Okay, this is NOT the whole story. The city of Memphis wanted the statues removed, but their state’s legislature decided to be a big bag of dicks about it and passed a law forbidding them from doing so. To get around this, a plan was devised: the city could sell the parks to a private organization and now that it was private property, the state couldn’t tell them what they could and couldn’t do with that property. The city counsel voted under cover of darkness to sell the park to the non-profit run by these men, and construction vehicles immediately moved in to remove the statues. They were gone by morning. Like… this is still #BlackExcellence because (and correct me if I’m wrong here) Memphis is a predominantly black city. I just think it’s important to remember that this was a community effort and not the work of individuals. Fascists love to worship the narratives ofΒ β€œGreat Men.” It is the responsibility of the resistance to remember that nothing can happen without the support of the community.
Community, Dicks, and Kkk: Tariq Nasheed @tariqnasheed Follow Insitoad ()i. marching 8' bo(jging for the city to remove Confederate statues from city parks, e lack rnn in Meermphis purchased the parks that had statues of Jefferson Davis & Nathan Bedford Forrest (founder of the KKK). Then THEY had the statues removed from THEIR property #Salute 1:48 334K views 1:06 PM-23 Dec 2017 721 t 13K 28K slightlypsychicparade: thatpettyblackgirl: No kneeling. No marching.#BlackExcellence Ugh. Okay, this is NOT the whole story. The city of Memphis wanted the statues removed, but their state’s legislature decided to be a big bag of dicks about it and passed a law forbidding them from doing so. To get around this, a plan was devised: the city could sell the parks to a private organization and now that it was private property, the state couldn’t tell them what they could and couldn’t do with that property. The city counsel voted under cover of darkness to sell the park to the non-profit run by these men, and construction vehicles immediately moved in to remove the statues. They were gone by morning. Like… this is still #BlackExcellence because (and correct me if I’m wrong here) Memphis is a predominantly black city. I just think it’s important to remember that this was a community effort and not the work of individuals. Fascists love to worship the narratives ofΒ β€œGreat Men.” It is the responsibility of the resistance to remember that nothing can happen without the support of the community.

slightlypsychicparade: thatpettyblackgirl: No kneeling. No marching.#BlackExcellence Ugh. Okay, this is NOT the whole story. The city of...

Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below) uov Or have. TAko, a . cour You look HANèicu Stup beis ASer OHFILE Dear Passive Aggressive Douche, First and foremost: In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to research this then you would have never needed to leave me this offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and felt like being a social justice hero. Secondly: Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even know who you are. By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped person "looks like. Asshole Lastly You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT be Sincerely The guy who doesn't look handicapped srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet
Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below) uov Or have. TAko, a . cour You look HANèicu Stup beis ASer OHFILE Dear Passive Aggressive Douche, First and foremost: In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to research this then you would have never needed to leave me this offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and felt like being a social justice hero. Secondly: Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even know who you are. By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped person "looks like. Asshole Lastly You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT be Sincerely The guy who doesn't look handicapped srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

Anaconda, Bailey Jay, and Memes: Pink Floyd performing in Venice, 1989 Since its birth, rock music has been seen as a revolutionary force and an agent of social change. But Pink Floyd’s show in Venice on July 15th, 1989, unintentionally resulted in the mayor and the entire city council resigning in the aftermath of their performance.⁣ ⁣ Even before a note was played, residents were up in arms, saying that the vibrations caused by the music had the potential to cause harm to the ancient monuments. So the band, sympathetic to the city, agreed to reduce the volume of its performance from 100 decibels to 60, and performed from a floating barge in a lagoon 200 yards from the square.⁣ ⁣ It was the audience, which numbered 200,000, that did the most damage. Officials said that they left behind 300 tons of garbage, and because the city didn’t provide portable bathrooms, concertgoers relieved themselves on the monuments and walls.⁣ ⁣ The public outrage was immediate. At a public meeting two days later, Mayor Antonio Casellati took defense saying that there was β€œunusual pressure” from β€œRAI”, the state-run television network that profited from the concert. But his attempts at spin were shouted down with "Resign, resign, you've turned Venice into a toilet." The Venetians got their wish. Before the end of the week, the entire city council had resigned, taking Casellati β€” who was elected by a coalition in the council β€” down with them.
Anaconda, Bailey Jay, and Memes: Pink Floyd performing in Venice, 1989 Since its birth, rock music has been seen as a revolutionary force and an agent of social change. But Pink Floyd’s show in Venice on July 15th, 1989, unintentionally resulted in the mayor and the entire city council resigning in the aftermath of their performance.⁣ ⁣ Even before a note was played, residents were up in arms, saying that the vibrations caused by the music had the potential to cause harm to the ancient monuments. So the band, sympathetic to the city, agreed to reduce the volume of its performance from 100 decibels to 60, and performed from a floating barge in a lagoon 200 yards from the square.⁣ ⁣ It was the audience, which numbered 200,000, that did the most damage. Officials said that they left behind 300 tons of garbage, and because the city didn’t provide portable bathrooms, concertgoers relieved themselves on the monuments and walls.⁣ ⁣ The public outrage was immediate. At a public meeting two days later, Mayor Antonio Casellati took defense saying that there was β€œunusual pressure” from β€œRAI”, the state-run television network that profited from the concert. But his attempts at spin were shouted down with "Resign, resign, you've turned Venice into a toilet." The Venetians got their wish. Before the end of the week, the entire city council had resigned, taking Casellati β€” who was elected by a coalition in the council β€” down with them.

Since its birth, rock music has been seen as a revolutionary force and an agent of social change. But Pink Floyd’s show in Venice on July 15...

Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know
Alive, Bodies , and Brains: ilthat TIL that due to their small brains koalas are unable to perform complex, unfamiliar tasks such as eat leaves off of flat surfaces. via reddit.com toast-potent how are they even alive kickin-jeans eucalyptus trees are full of flammable oil that causes the trees to explode during forest fires, killing other trees and spreading its seeds to grow in their place koalas survive solely because nothing else in their environment Wants To Eat The Fucking Bombs humandisastersquad WROTE THIS POST#god dont get me fuckin started#the NUMBER of times ive Gone Off abt koalas in zooarch class#on a scale of koalas to wombats how good is ur marsupial at Being Alive#hey hey u know what else? koalas are s0 picky with their diet that theyll only eat the leaves of one (1) type of eucalypt#and even then ONLY specimens of that tree that are within a very tight geographic range of where the koala was born#the rescue centre in my city? they have to ship branches from all over the state bc koalas there physically Will Not Eat anything thats not#from their very very small very precise home range#theyd rather starve to death than try leaves from like the next suburb over#i have 60 other reasons why koalas spit in the face of natural selection hmu if you want YELLING i cant be bothered to list them all here#god theyre so incomprehensibly dumb. god#HEY ALSO the reason their brains are so small is bc YEah the one SINGLE species of tree they eat is incredibly toxic#their diet consists of 1 food and it is Brain-Shrinking Poison (@reyroace) reyroace oh u like that? try this one: the main natural cause of death in koalas is starvation, because 1) their dumbass teeth are SHIT. to be a herbivore and chomp cellulose all day u need some real tough grinders in there, and almost every other herbivore in nature has SOME sort of dental adaptation to make sure they dont run out of tooth by the time they hit middle age. horses have big tall teeth, wombat teeth grow forever, kangaroos have got a little conveyor belt system goin on, etc etc everyone's doin SOMETHING except fuckign koalas. idiots have tiny fuckin shortass normal teeth that do an okay job for maybe like 15 years and then wear down and leave them with ridiculous fuckin useless old man gums that do shit all. but thats fine bc all koalas do anyway is sit in trees and sleep 22hrs a day then wake up and scream and eat poison and they do this all day every day until they run out of teeth at which point they just fall out of the tree and die 2) idiots can't die any other fuckin way bc nothing in nature wants to eat them bc their bodies are chocker block with LITERAL poison. fuckin USELESS their flesh just sits around and slowly rots bc its too gross-tasting and toxic for any animal w half a brain cell to think abt going near it. have yall ever seen koala viscera. bc i have and let me tell u that shit is RANK. looks like the inside of a smoker's lung from some fuckdamn nicabate ad bc the tannins in eucalypt leaves stain their organs like khaki black. like some fuckin darklsteve irwin costume well better piss ur way right off from this one anti-steve bc thats a natural defense mechanism meant to warn u that koalas should in no way be alive and if u touch them theyll drag u into their stupid evolutionary dead-end where they get to sit around all day doin fuck all and pumpin themselves full of brain-killing poison while we run around makin them our olympic games mascots and pretending theyre cute and honest to god looking for ways to save them from the brink of extinction which actually is unnecessary bc a) theyre not really endangered at all, nature is a fuckign miracle and b) the drongos clearly want to die so i say let em reyroace by the way i never elaborated on "koalas sit in trees all day screaming" but heres a lil fuckin. heres a fun nugget heres a lil soundbyte this is what koalas sound like https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-jmeBQVQlsTU https://www.youtube.com/watch?v-O0CAx1jLbJk gallusrostromegalus My favorite story about Koalas comes from the book The Killer Koala Humorous Australian Bush Stories" By Kenneth Cook, which is an excellently good book with some A+ storytelling. he describes the Koala's "Anti-Dingo Defense", wherein they latch on to the belly of the dingo to slow down the rate at which they are being consumed alive by starving canid, gradually trn themselves around until they've got thier head in the Dingo's crotch, and then procede to BITE THE SHIT out of the Dingo's Tender Bits, whilst clowing at the ribs and projectile-evacuating thier bowels, Mr. Cook found out about the Anti-Dingo Defense beause he was tricked into 'rescuing' a bunch of koalas off an island by the promise of a Hot Date with a young lady, wondered why they were all being given armored aprons to handle the koalas with, only to find out firsthand, which pretty much ruined his prospects of a date. teratomarty What I'm getting is that koalas are basically Australian-grade Death Sloths. the more you know

the more you know