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Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this little nugget when she gets home from work. Reddit u/belatedpajamas @DrSmashlove Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this
 little nugget when she gets home
 from work.
 Reddit u/belatedpajamas
 @DrSmashlove
Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold y...

America, Beautiful, and Blood Moon: SUPER BLUE BLOOD MOON JANUARY 31st!!! . Have you heard?!? If you live on the western coast of North America, Asia (including the Middle East and eastern Russia), Australia, or New Zealand, you might be in for a lunar treat Jan 31st! But before we tell you how early you might have to wake up to see this, @science.sam explains what a Super Blue Blood Moon is below: . A SuperBlueBloodMoon is the combination of 3 different lunar events that RARELY coincide. . A SUPER moon is when a full moon occurs when the moon is at the closest point in its elliptical orbit to the Earth, called the perigee. Though it’s hard to distinguish with the naked eye, the moon appears about 14% brighter than usual. . A BLUE moon refers to the 2nd full moon in a month, and doesn’t really have anything to do with colour. While the phrase, “once in a blue moon” is used to describe something that’s rare, blue moons actually occur about once every 2.7 years (there will be another blue moon in March, but it won’t be fully eclipsed)! . A BLOOD moon happens when the moon is in full eclipse - meaning that the Earth is blocking direct light from the sun from getting to the moon. Because of the lack of direct sunshine on the moon, the only light hitting it is refracted through the earth’s shadow, giving it the reddish look we also see at sunset. Due to the tilt of the moon’s orbit, not every full moon results in a total eclipse, though there are 2-5 lunar eclipses a year (though not always where you can see em). . The exciting thing about the SuperBlueBloodMoon is that all 3 of these things are happening at once! South America, Asia, and Australia got treated to this back in 1982, and the last time North America experienced this phenomenon was 1866. . The eclipse (peak awesomeness) will happen at 1:30pm UTC, meaning those in Asia + Oceania will be able to see it in the evening of Jan 31st, and those in western North America before dawn. . Regardless of rarity, it’ll be a gorgeous opportunity to gaze up, and even more beautiful if viewed through binoculars (a lunar eclipse is less dangerous to your eyes than a solar eclipse). . Tag a buddy you want to watch this with! . (image credit: @NASA)
America, Beautiful, and Blood Moon: SUPER BLUE BLOOD MOON JANUARY 31st!!! . Have you heard?!? If you live on the western coast of North America, Asia (including the Middle East and eastern Russia), Australia, or New Zealand, you might be in for a lunar treat Jan 31st! But before we tell you how early you might have to wake up to see this, @science.sam explains what a Super Blue Blood Moon is below: . A SuperBlueBloodMoon is the combination of 3 different lunar events that RARELY coincide. . A SUPER moon is when a full moon occurs when the moon is at the closest point in its elliptical orbit to the Earth, called the perigee. Though it’s hard to distinguish with the naked eye, the moon appears about 14% brighter than usual. . A BLUE moon refers to the 2nd full moon in a month, and doesn’t really have anything to do with colour. While the phrase, “once in a blue moon” is used to describe something that’s rare, blue moons actually occur about once every 2.7 years (there will be another blue moon in March, but it won’t be fully eclipsed)! . A BLOOD moon happens when the moon is in full eclipse - meaning that the Earth is blocking direct light from the sun from getting to the moon. Because of the lack of direct sunshine on the moon, the only light hitting it is refracted through the earth’s shadow, giving it the reddish look we also see at sunset. Due to the tilt of the moon’s orbit, not every full moon results in a total eclipse, though there are 2-5 lunar eclipses a year (though not always where you can see em). . The exciting thing about the SuperBlueBloodMoon is that all 3 of these things are happening at once! South America, Asia, and Australia got treated to this back in 1982, and the last time North America experienced this phenomenon was 1866. . The eclipse (peak awesomeness) will happen at 1:30pm UTC, meaning those in Asia + Oceania will be able to see it in the evening of Jan 31st, and those in western North America before dawn. . Regardless of rarity, it’ll be a gorgeous opportunity to gaze up, and even more beautiful if viewed through binoculars (a lunar eclipse is less dangerous to your eyes than a solar eclipse). . Tag a buddy you want to watch this with! . (image credit: @NASA)

SUPER BLUE BLOOD MOON JANUARY 31st!!! . Have you heard?!? If you live on the western coast of North America, Asia (including the Middle East...

Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally anything I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.
Ass, CoCo, and Crush: me when my pet does literally
 anything
I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was Toby. Now who the fuck names they dog after a character from roots? You already know he strong as fuck. Second the dog had 3 eye balls. With two eye sockets. His left eye look like a cell that’s in the middle of mitosis. It had two pupils not just one. And it didn’t even bark. I went to pet him and he said Moo. Nigga momma got fucked by a cow. That’s some down south shit. So my boy Frankie went to get pussy from my next door crush. Me being a good friend decided to watch him. I never had a dog and this was the first opportunity to practice. I bought Toby in the house cause it was cold outside and I wanted to play. I’m eating breakfast at the table when he just looking at me. This dog ain’t even blink. I’m having a starring contest with Tien from Dragon ball. I think he hungry but I didn’t have dog food. He wasn’t getting my left over KFC in the fridge so I give him some coco puffs. Within minutes this boy going wild. He CooCoo Co Co puffs. He sound like a cow at a slaughter house mooing continuously. I think he like the cereal so I give him more. Little did I know dogs can’t eat chocolate. when you black the only remedy you have to fix any problem is vix. I bring Toby to the bathroom cabinet to get the vix when. He starts shitting up a storm. This was a worse sight then 2 girls one cup. Boy done started running around my house just shitting on any and everything. I’m chasing Toby slipping on dog shit like banana peels from Mario kart. Toby runs head first into my fridge. My refrigerator tips like a domino and tilts back and falls on Toby. This the first time I see a fridge catch a dent from a dog. Toby built different How ima explain to my mom why my fridge broke and house smells like hobo socks and syphilis? Smell felt like I was in a gas chamber. I run to the window yelling for help. No one came. My boy Frankie was deep in some pussy while I’m deep in some shit. My momma came home from work and whooped my ass. To this day I hate dogs.

I think my homie dog retarded. Hear me out, this dog has to be a product of incest or some other sick twisted experiment. The dog name was T...