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Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE @ 99% 8:54 AM Settings Emergency Chat Meltdown gave you my phone because l can't use or process speech right now, but l am still capable of text communication. My hearing and tactile senses are extremely sensitive in this state, so please refrain from touching me. Please keep calm, and proceed to the next screen that has a simple chat client through which we can communicate. Continue R...ht New Message Send @ 99% ooo Sprint LTE 9:02 AM Settings Emergency Chat Today 9:02 AM would you like to get out of here? Left yes please R...ht New Message Send the I'm O p qw r У u f jk d gh а S C b Z X 123 return space sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!! it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student. the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device).  the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need!  the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store.  I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :) OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST That’s so bootiful! thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now WHAT?
Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE
 @ 99%
 8:54 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Meltdown
 gave you my phone because l
 can't use or process speech
 right now, but l am still capable
 of text communication. My
 hearing and tactile senses are
 extremely sensitive in this state,
 so please refrain from touching
 me. Please keep calm, and
 proceed to the next screen that
 has a simple chat client through
 which we can communicate.
 Continue
 R...ht New Message
 Send

 @ 99%
 ooo Sprint LTE
 9:02 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Today 9:02 AM
 would you like to get out of here?
 Left
 yes please
 R...ht New Message
 Send
 the
 I'm
 O p
 qw
 r
 У
 u
 f
 jk
 d
 gh
 а
 S
 C
 b
 Z
 X
 123
 return
 space
sweetandsavageautistic:

thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!!
it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student.
the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device). 
the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need! 
the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store. 
I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :)

OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST

That’s so bootiful!

thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now


WHAT?

sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already ma...

Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18 02:56 ....ll Thread James Dator @James.. 17 May In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu Reeves story 615 ti 19.2K 54.3K James Dator @James.. 17 May Keanu came to the movie theater I worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was working on the Matrix series at the time. It's a quiet, Wednesday morning almost nobody is seeing movies. 6 C t524 8,415 James Dator @James.. 17 May I'm working the box office, bored as hell and suddenly this dude walks up in jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize it's Keanu Reeves 7 1450 8,840 James Dator @James 17 Mayv He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell," the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking star struck I do what any sensible 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to give him my employee discount. This means he needs to sign my sheet and therefore I have his autograph 5 8,595 t439 James Dator @James. 17 May "I don't work here," Keanu says. Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm flustered and just charge him the normal price. Kicking myself after for not getting his autograph 9 8,300 t 410 James Dator @James.. 17 May 2 minutes later there's a knock on the door behind me that leads into the box office. I assume it's my manager. It's Keanu. 94 t 409 8,297 17 May "I realized you probably wanted my autograph," he says. "So I signed this." He hands me a receipt from the concessions stand that he signed on the back. He then casually throws an ice James Dator @James... cream cone in the trash can and sees his movie 26 t 639 13.8K James Dator @James Dator realize later that he bought an ice cream cone he didn't want, just to get receipt paper so he could scribble his autograph for a 16-year-old idiot. 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes awesomacious: Sweet Keanu
Ass, Bored, and Confused: 18
 02:56 ....ll
 Thread
 James Dator @James.. 17 May
 In honor of John Wick 3 I have a Keanu
 Reeves story
 615
 ti 19.2K 54.3K
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 Keanu came to the movie theater I
 worked at in Sydney in 2001. He was
 working on the Matrix series at the time.
 It's a quiet, Wednesday morning
 almost nobody is seeing movies.
 6 C
 t524
 8,415
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 I'm working the box office, bored as hell
 and suddenly this dude walks up in
 jeans, a leather jacket and a horse riding
 helmet. A full ass, weird equestrian
 looking helmet. It takes me a solid 30
 seconds to ignore the helmet and realize
 it's Keanu Reeves
 7
 1450
 8,840
 James Dator @James 17 Mayv
 He wants to buy a ticket for "From Hell,"
 the Johnny Depp movie. I'm so fucking
 star struck I do what any sensible
 16-year-old does and tell him l'd like to
 give him my employee discount. This
 means he needs to sign my sheet and
 therefore I have his autograph
 5
 8,595
 t439
 James Dator @James. 17 May
 "I don't work here," Keanu says.
 Seemingly confused by my offer. I'm
 flustered and just charge him the normal
 price. Kicking myself after for not getting
 his autograph
 9
 8,300
 t 410
 James Dator @James..
 17 May
 2 minutes later there's a knock on the
 door behind me that leads into the box
 office. I assume it's my manager. It's
 Keanu.
 94
 t 409
 8,297
 17 May
 "I realized you probably wanted my
 autograph," he says. "So I signed this."
 He hands me a receipt from the
 concessions stand that he signed on the
 back. He then casually throws an ice
 James Dator
 @James...
 cream cone in the trash can and sees his
 movie
 26
 t 639
 13.8K
 James Dator
 @James Dator
 realize later that he bought an
 ice cream cone he didn't want,
 just to get receipt paper so he
 could scribble his autograph for a
 16-year-old idiot.
 19:21 17 May 19 Twitter for iPhone
 2,750 Retweets 60.6K Likes
awesomacious:

Sweet Keanu

awesomacious: Sweet Keanu

Af, Destiny, and Family: KNOW YOLR RUNES U IS FOR LIS FOR URUZ LAGUZ HEALTH, STRENGTH, WATER BIRTH VIGOR & HEALING BIRTH 0F A VENTURE OR PHYSICAL BIRTH VANN STRYKE, HELSE FODSEL RUNE 2 of 12 RUNE 1 of 12 TIS FOR K IS FOR KENNZ FIRE, PH YSICAL ICE, TIME OF RESPITE PASSION OR STAGN ATION LIDENSKAP BRANN ICE PUSTEROM RUNE 3 12 RUNE 4 of 12 S IS FOR O IS FOR OTHNLN VICTORY, SUCCESS ANCESTRAL LAND, HOME, FAMILY UNITY OF AN ENDEAVOR BARNDOSHJEM, SEIER TRIUMPF FAMILIENS ENHET RUNE 6 of 12 RUNE 5 of 12 E IS FOR D IS FOR Y EVHNZ DNGNZ PROTECTION ABSOLUTE BALANCE FROM EVIL BETWEEN OPPOSITE S, PARARDOX BESKYTTELSE BALANSERE RUNE 8 of 12 RUNE 7 of 12 T IS FOR P IS FOR TWNZ PETHRO JUSTICE FATE DESTINY RETTFERDIGHET SK JEBNE, FORSYN GUDDOMMELIG RUNE 10 of 12 RUNE 9 of 12 G IS FOR N IS FOR NNUD1Z KEBO GIFTS NEED DESIRE BORN WITH OR GIVEN TRENGER ONSKE GAVE, MEDFØDTE RUNE 12 af 12 RUNE 11 of 12 X herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches.  Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p)  Sweet, what a nifty little guide This is such a cool idea! Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you. Good to know, thank you :)
Af, Destiny, and Family: KNOW
 YOLR
 RUNES

 U IS FOR
 LIS FOR
 URUZ
 LAGUZ
 HEALTH, STRENGTH,
 WATER
 BIRTH
 VIGOR & HEALING
 BIRTH 0F A VENTURE
 OR PHYSICAL BIRTH
 VANN
 STRYKE, HELSE
 FODSEL
 RUNE 2 of 12
 RUNE 1 of 12
 TIS FOR
 K IS FOR
 KENNZ
 FIRE, PH YSICAL
 ICE, TIME
 OF RESPITE
 PASSION
 OR STAGN ATION
 LIDENSKAP
 BRANN
 ICE
 PUSTEROM
 RUNE 3 12
 RUNE 4 of 12

 S IS FOR
 O IS FOR
 OTHNLN
 VICTORY, SUCCESS
 ANCESTRAL LAND,
 HOME, FAMILY UNITY
 OF AN ENDEAVOR
 BARNDOSHJEM,
 SEIER
 TRIUMPF
 FAMILIENS ENHET
 RUNE 6 of 12
 RUNE 5 of 12
 E IS FOR
 D IS FOR
 Y
 EVHNZ
 DNGNZ
 PROTECTION
 ABSOLUTE BALANCE
 FROM EVIL
 BETWEEN OPPOSITE S,
 PARARDOX
 BESKYTTELSE
 BALANSERE
 RUNE 8 of 12
 RUNE 7 of 12

 T IS FOR
 P IS FOR
 TWNZ
 PETHRO
 JUSTICE
 FATE
 DESTINY
 RETTFERDIGHET
 SK JEBNE,
 FORSYN
 GUDDOMMELIG
 RUNE 10 of 12
 RUNE 9 of 12
 G IS FOR
 N IS FOR
 NNUD1Z
 KEBO
 GIFTS
 NEED
 DESIRE
 BORN WITH
 OR GIVEN
 TRENGER
 ONSKE
 GAVE, MEDFØDTE
 RUNE 12 af 12
 RUNE 11 of 12
 X
herbwicc:

plantanarchy:

herbwicc:
viking-illustrator:

darkwolfwitch:

witt-craft:

Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flashcards that would appeal to kids and adults for my Type 1 class. They each have the rune symbol, the name of the rune, the meaning in English, the meaning (roughly translated by google, thanks google) in Norwegian, and a little icon I made. I made the big rune characters, but the display font is Comic Runes by takuminokami on Font Space (thanks internet). The cards are 3 inches by 4.5 inches. 
Also please don’t yell at me if the meanings of these are wrong, my research was not particularly scholarly. (Once again, thanks internet :p) 


Sweet, what a nifty little guide


This is such a cool idea!


Awesome! Quick question: are runes part of a closed culture? 

No, these runes here are the Elder Futhark, used as a writing system in the area that would be Scandinavia/Northern Germanic region. The names are Proto-Germanic reconstructions, so yeah, the culture that used these are very very dead. Similar runes were used by the Anglo-Saxons and the Vikings (the Anglo-Saxons added a bunch of runes and the Vikings used less runes and some different ones and this was centuries later). The reason we know the “meanings” and names of the runes at all is because of a handful of rune poems that were initially used as mnemonic devices to remember them. The actual system of divination and magic via Elder Futhark runes is very modern and goes back to ~the 60s I believe? There’s some archeological evidence that runes may have been used for more than just a writing system, and the Havamal (old important morality poem for heathens) mentions that Odin hung on the world tree and sacrificed himself to himself and returned with knowledge of the runes. It also discusses that runes can be used for magic (though it doesn’t get into which runes or how to do the magic).So, to me personally, it does seem a bit weird to use the runes as just another divination tool without using them in context of the spiritual/religious paradigm they are connected to, but there are a lot of people that do and seem to have success with it. And I’d be cautious with getting into using them unless you’re willing to suddenly have Northern Germanic gods busting down your door whether you like it or not. Though feeling a pull toward the runes in general may mean they already have you.

Good to know, thank you :)

herbwicc: plantanarchy: herbwicc: viking-illustrator: darkwolfwitch: witt-craft: Runes! This was an assignment to create a set of flash...

Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon: vikinglibertarian: zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp: bestrooftalkever: coolstoryrob: meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin: serionsly: voyagevisuelle: This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars). or you know this could be photoshopped but idk you tell me this is alexandrias melon (wow) it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic) it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy. its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus. The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers. It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza. This planet is really just so amazing guys wow. Patrickmelon The taste of this melon will always surprise you. I’m fucking done with this site This is the evermelon. If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon. OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!? ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!). Nothing will ever be better than the last one HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps- Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.
Fucking, God, and Internet: mandatalks:

locatescape:

ask-link-the-hylian-champion:


theinfiknight:


memeseverdie:

bidfox:

rnother-hen:

neener-nina:

deltadragoon:

vikinglibertarian:

zombie-alpaca-sex-tarp:

bestrooftalkever:

coolstoryrob:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

serionsly:

voyagevisuelle:

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ¥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk
you tell me


this is alexandrias melon (wow)
it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)
it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds
it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.
its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true


This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.
The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.
It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.
This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.


Patrickmelon
The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

I’m fucking done with this site


This is the evermelon.
If you cut this watermelon a certain way you will find that it has seemingly regenerated. You can do this an infinite number of times and will have a neverending supply of melon.



OH GOD I haven’t seen this post in YEARS and THAT is the fucking additon to it!?

ALRIGHT THATS IT ITS TIME TO STOP


Hi my name is Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Ravenmelon and I’m ebony black  (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks and red tips, and a lot of people tell me I look like watermelons (AN: if u don’t know what dat is get da hell out of here!).


Nothing will ever be better than the last one 


HASHBFJGJDHRJFKFKRJ


That last one took me out at the god damn kneecaps-



Someone wrote a really interesting article about why people believe these sorts of things so easily.

mandatalks: locatescape: ask-link-the-hylian-champion: theinfiknight: memeseverdie: bidfox: rnother-hen: neener-nina: deltadragoon...

Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH. NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED of only they taught beauty class like this Best description of sugar scrub ever.
Ass, Bitch, and Fucking: vialsofbrightforgettingpowders
 ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN
 SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR
 NOTEPAD
 THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW
 YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I
 KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE
 FUCKERS
 YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT
 YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN
 THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM
 TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A
 NEWBORN
 sO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND
 SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND
 MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART
 OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL
 BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO
 SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL
 THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR
 MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU
 WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM
 SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
 NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED
 PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITHA BUBBLE
 BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND
 SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS
 VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE
 NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND
 SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A
 HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER
 THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near
 your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really
 important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way
 its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR
 HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS
 WORKING
 NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU
 HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN
 EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN
 BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF
 BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
 GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT
 WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF
 YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS
 CLASS DISMISSED
 of only they taught beauty class like this
Best description of sugar scrub ever.

Best description of sugar scrub ever.