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Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law. oh my god these are great fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates I can feel the frustration
Alive, Beard, and Children: feniczoroark:

minority-cubed:

princemetalthunder:

skrill-cosby:

drucila616:

How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a book called Disorder in the Courts and are things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and published by court reporters that had the torment of staying calm while the exchanges were taking place.ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you that morning?WITNESS: He said, ‘Where am I, Cathy?’ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?WITNESS: My name is Susan!_______________________________ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?WITNESS: No, I just lie there.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?WITNESS: July 18th.ATTORNEY: What year?WITNESS: Every year._____________________________________ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can’t remember which.ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?WITNESS: Forty-five years._________________________________ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?WITNESS: I forget..ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of something you forgot?___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn’t it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn’t know about it until the next morning?WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?____________________________________ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the 20-year-old, how old is he?WITNESS: He’s 20, much like your IQ.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?WITNESS: Are you shitting me?_________________________________________ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?WITNESS: Getting laid____________________________________________ATTORNEY: She had three children , right?WITNESS: Yes.ATTORNEY: How many were boys?WITNESS: None.ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?WITNESS: Your Honor, I think I need a different attorney. Can I get a new attorney?____________________________________________ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?WITNESS: By death..ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?WITNESS: Take a guess.___________________________________________ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beardATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?WITNESS: Unless the Circus was in town I’m going with male._____________________________________ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.______________________________________ATTORNEY: Doctor , how many of your autopsies have you performed on dead people?WITNESS: All of them. The live ones put up too much of a fight._________________________________________ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school did you go to?WITNESS: Oral…_________________________________________ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 PMATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?WITNESS: If not, he was by the time I finished.____________________________________________ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?WITNESS: Are you qualified to ask that question?______________________________________And last:ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?WITNESS: No..ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?WITNESS: No.ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.ATTORNEY: I see, but could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law.

oh my god these are great

fuck this is like reading a jokes and not actual quotes


The last one is how I feel about all my schoolmates

I can feel the frustration

feniczoroark: minority-cubed: princemetalthunder: skrill-cosby: drucila616: How Do Court Reporters Keep Straight Faces?These are from a...

Tumblr, Winter, and Blog: atavus: Geraldine Pilgrim - Dreams of a Winter Night Photographed by Susan McKeon.
Tumblr, Winter, and Blog: atavus:
Geraldine Pilgrim - Dreams of a Winter Night
Photographed by Susan McKeon.

atavus: Geraldine Pilgrim - Dreams of a Winter Night Photographed by Susan McKeon.

Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me and vamoose I'm not ready to be a single mom I know shit about reptiles I had to put a stick next to the nest because she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the primo spot to give birth Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny under my city girl care I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently she's a box turtle? 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH?? iplemons You a mom now Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes, cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the eggs so chase them off ruby-white-rabbit mrswinterbarnes Name her Sharron, she sounds like she doesn't care about her kids @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I came back from closing the barn doors she was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles were supposed to be slow I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not even a goodbye?? I don't think Box turtles return to their nest either, so until they hatch and dig out YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA DAMN IT SHARRON First that bird makes its nursery in my bike basket on our porch and now this Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny?? UPDATE SHES BACK NEVERMIND ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping their spawn on me ladystud Call this one Susan blad-the-inhaler You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who never signed up for this animal empath shit I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople
Apparently, Bitch, and Moms: ruby-white-rabbit
 There's a turtle in my yard laying eggs
 This bitch really gonna dump her kids on me
 and vamoose
 I'm not ready to be a single mom
 I know shit about reptiles
 I had to put a stick next to the nest because
 she decided the MIDDLE of our yard was the
 primo spot to give birth
 Mowing is gonna be interesting this summer
 Meet the mother leaving her wildlife progeny
 under my city girl care
 I'm googling turtles right now, I sent photos
 to my southern stepmom for help. Apparently
 she's a box turtle?
 70 DAYS UNTIL THEY HATCH??
 iplemons
 You a mom now
 Text from stepmom "watch out for foxes,
 cranes, raccoons, and snakes. They'll eat the
 eggs so chase them off
 ruby-white-rabbit
 mrswinterbarnes
 Name her Sharron, she sounds like
 she doesn't care about her kids
 @mrswinterbarnes you're not wrong. When I
 came back from closing the barn doors she
 was gone. Nowhere in sight. I thought turtles
 were supposed to be slow
 I was gone maybe ten minutes so first off, not
 even a goodbye??
 I don't think Box turtles return to their nest
 either, so until they hatch and dig out
 YOU GONNA BE A MOMMA
 DAMN IT SHARRON
 First that bird makes its nursery in my bike
 basket on our porch and now this
 Why am I becoming a wildlife nanny??
 UPDATE
 SHES BACK
 NEVERMIND
 ITS A DIFFERENT TURTLE
 That's two deadbeat turtle moms dropping
 their spawn on me
 ladystud
 Call this one Susan
 blad-the-inhaler
 You're like a really ticked-off nature witch who
 never signed up for this animal empath shit
I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople

I'm trying to figure out when "oh, it's only midnight" to "omg it's already midnight" #lawnmowerpeople

America, Books, and Love: Doctors in 1911 thought bicycles would turn women aU It wasn't just the freedom afforded by bicycles although that was also a thing. Doctors hotly debated whether the vibration between women's legs would give them insatiable sex drives and lead to lesbianism GRAGKED GoM Susan K. Foley, 2004, Women in France Since 1789: The Meanings of Difference. Moralists in the 7Gh cenGuru panicked over novels 0o000000000 They reasoned that women, being somehow unable to distinguish between reality and fiction, would act out the immoral situations they read about in novels. GRAGKED.GOM Cavallo, Chartier, and Cochrane, 2003. A History of Reading in the West. People thoughb the Postb Office would ruin Women 0 0 CENTLEMENl FOR LADIES XCLUSİVELY SUNDER S IN SUMS EXCEEDING SI Becausé the Post Office enabled women to send and receive letters unsupervised, the moralists of the 1870s were sure women would engage in "clandestine correspondence with unprincipled men." GRAGKED coM httpMaphamsquarterly org/roundtable/post-secrets When women started using bhe telephone bo have conversations, men freaked out. In 1909, telephones started appearing in homes, and women started using them socially. This panicked their husbands so much that they started making fun of women for it and calling them out on their "futility and frivolity" in newspapers, journals, and books. The average length of those calls was 7½ minutes. CRACKED cON Claude S. Fischer, 1994. America Calling: A Social History of the Telephone to 1940 jenroses: kipplekipple: virginiaisforhaters: Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something… I love the bike one. “The women may experience sexual pleasure, whereupon they will discard men entirely and immediately.” this casts an entirely new light on “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” and I’m sideyeing my brain for thinking it. 
America, Books, and Love: Doctors in 1911 thought
 bicycles would turn
 women aU
 It wasn't just the
 freedom afforded
 by bicycles
 although that
 was also a thing.
 Doctors hotly debated whether the vibration
 between women's legs would give them
 insatiable sex drives and lead to lesbianism
 GRAGKED GoM
 Susan K. Foley, 2004, Women in France Since 1789: The Meanings of Difference.

 Moralists in the
 7Gh cenGuru
 panicked over
 novels
 0o000000000
 They reasoned that women, being
 somehow unable to distinguish
 between reality and fiction, would act
 out the immoral situations they read
 about in novels.
 GRAGKED.GOM
 Cavallo, Chartier, and Cochrane, 2003. A History of Reading in the West.

 People thoughb
 the Postb Office
 would ruin Women
 0
 0
 CENTLEMENl
 FOR LADIES
 XCLUSİVELY
 SUNDER S
 IN SUMS
 EXCEEDING SI
 Becausé the Post Office enabled women to
 send and receive letters unsupervised, the
 moralists of the 1870s were sure women
 would engage in "clandestine
 correspondence with unprincipled men."
 GRAGKED coM
 httpMaphamsquarterly org/roundtable/post-secrets

 When women
 started using bhe
 telephone bo have
 conversations,
 men freaked out.
 In 1909, telephones started appearing in homes, and
 women started using them socially. This panicked their
 husbands so much that they started making fun of
 women for it and calling them out on their "futility and
 frivolity" in newspapers, journals, and books.
 The average length of those calls was 7½ minutes.
 CRACKED cON
 Claude S. Fischer, 1994. America Calling: A Social History of the Telephone to 1940
jenroses:
kipplekipple:

virginiaisforhaters:
Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something…

I love the bike one. “The women may experience sexual pleasure, whereupon they will discard men entirely and immediately.”

this casts an entirely new light on “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle” and I’m sideyeing my brain for thinking it. 

jenroses: kipplekipple: virginiaisforhaters: Wow it’s almost like most of human history has been about controlling women… or something… I ...

Tumblr, Blog, and Http: grupaok: Peter Hujar, Susan Sontag, 1975
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: grupaok:
Peter Hujar, Susan Sontag, 1975

grupaok: Peter Hujar, Susan Sontag, 1975