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Ass, Dude, and Earned It: I had a good day of tips waitressing for once, so I gave a homeless man $20 on the walk home Homeless Man: There must be a mistake! He: No mistake. I can afford to cut back a little. Have a wonderful day Homeless Man: (tearing up) Suddenly a shrieky little voice rang out A pasty dude wearing a trenchcoat and fedora barreled toward me Dipshit: The fuck are you doing??!!! He yanked the $20 bill from the homeless man's grip, slicing his fingers on the paper. He stoffed the bloody bill in my Dipshit: No. NO. You worked for this money while he sat on his ass and jerked off. YOU KEEP IT. He threw the money in my face Me: What the fuck is your problem, asshole?? Dipshiti Listen to me, you fucking useless female. I'm from New York City, where the homeless have the decency to try and work for money, whether it's shining your shoes, cleaning your windshield, or just doing a little dance on the street corner I once saw a man with one leg hop in a circle for hours to make $6 in change! That's the difference between a classy homeless person and a BUM Me: Well this is my oney. I earned it. Iil use it any way I like. Bow do you get your money, if you're so important? Dipshit:I don t need a job because my mom gives me money A crowd had formed. Everyone was glaring at this scumbag and a few were even cheering me on Homeless Man: You want a dance, you little prick? Everyone turned to see the homeless man rising to his feet. To our amazement, he began to perform a pitch-perfect Korean style dance Homeless Man: Oppa homeless style! The crowd erupted. We all began to join in the dance, save for Dipshit, who turned bright purple Everyone: Op! Op! Op! Oppa homeless style! I threw my $20 at the homeless man's feet. Everyone else followed suit, tossing money at him. A woman in a suit gave him her gold watch. Dipshit took off running while the rest of us danced into the night 145 notes
Ass, Dude, and Earned It: I had a good day of tips waitressing for once, so I gave a
 homeless man $20 on the walk home
 Homeless Man: There must be a mistake!
 He: No mistake. I can afford to cut back a little. Have a
 wonderful day
 Homeless Man: (tearing up)
 Suddenly a shrieky little voice rang out A pasty dude
 wearing a trenchcoat and fedora barreled toward me
 Dipshit: The fuck are you doing??!!!
 He yanked the $20 bill from the homeless man's grip, slicing
 his fingers on the paper. He stoffed the bloody bill in my
 Dipshit: No. NO. You worked for this money while he sat on his
 ass and jerked off. YOU KEEP IT.
 He threw the money in my face
 Me: What the fuck is your problem, asshole??
 Dipshiti Listen to me, you fucking useless female. I'm from New
 York City, where the homeless have the decency to try and work
 for money, whether it's shining your shoes, cleaning your
 windshield, or just doing a little dance on the street corner
 I once saw a man with one leg hop in a circle for hours to
 make $6 in change! That's the difference between a classy
 homeless person and a BUM
 Me: Well this is my oney. I earned it. Iil use it any way I
 like. Bow do you get your money, if you're so important?
 Dipshit:I don t need a job because my mom gives me money
 A crowd had formed. Everyone was glaring at this scumbag and a
 few were even cheering me on
 Homeless Man: You want a dance, you little prick?
 Everyone turned to see the homeless man rising to his feet. To
 our amazement, he began to perform a pitch-perfect Korean
 style dance
 Homeless Man: Oppa homeless style!
 The crowd erupted. We all began to join in the dance, save for
 Dipshit, who turned bright purple
 Everyone: Op! Op! Op! Oppa homeless style!
 I threw my $20 at the homeless man's feet. Everyone else
 followed suit, tossing money at him. A woman in a suit gave
 him her gold watch. Dipshit took off running while the rest of
 us danced into the night
 145 notes
Cum, Dad, and Fresh: 1383359965161 png (205 KB, 415x458) Anonymous (ID: PHowg) 09/29/14(Mon)14:34:30 No.571307 So this just happened now. >Be me >Time to have a good of faperoono to pass some time >Put my head phones in and look up some milf porn. Find some mother blow job video. >Shliet that's good Get out my little rocket >Preparing for lift off >Jacking away like there's no tomorrow. Here it comes. >I cum heaps. >Enough splooge to take me to the moor Welp. Time to clean up Suddenly my super sonic post wank hearing picks up something Someone is coming up the stairs oh shit red alert, gotta clean fast >Check drawers >Past me you piece of shit >Clean up tissues all used out Turn to my left Half uneaten sandwich from earlier Perfect >Pick up sandwich and start dabbing it around my dick to try to clean up What the fuck was I thinking. At least it's semi doing the job >Crumbs everywhere >I severely underestimated how quickly I could clean up Door swings on open, dad comes in with fresh laundry Stops in shock. I'm sprawled on the bed with a semi, and a cum covered sandwich. >He mutters What the fuck and quickly walks out of the door Oh shit what the fuck do I do now 10 minutes of basking in guilt I decide Il take down my soggy sandwich to bin it >Slowly go into kitchen Thank fuck no'one in there Leave sandwich on side for a second >All of that sandwich decoration had me thirsty Pouring drink Suddenly hear, Tm guessing you're not gonna eat this >Turn around to see my mom munching away Oh my fucking god What the fuck do I say >Before I can say anything dad waltz into the kitchen Looks at mom. Looks at sandwich >Looks at me. Mtw I run the fuck out of the house >Now I'm posting this on my phone. bl, help
Cum, Dad, and Fresh: 1383359965161 png (205 KB, 415x458)
 Anonymous (ID: PHowg) 09/29/14(Mon)14:34:30 No.571307
 So this just happened now.
 >Be me
 >Time to have a good of faperoono to pass some time
 >Put my head phones in and look up some milf porn.
 Find some mother blow job video.
 >Shliet that's good
 Get out my little rocket
 >Preparing for lift off
 >Jacking away like there's no tomorrow.
 Here it comes.
 >I cum heaps.
 >Enough splooge to take me to the moor
 Welp. Time to clean up
 Suddenly my super sonic post wank hearing picks up something
 Someone is coming up the stairs oh shit red alert, gotta clean fast
 >Check drawers
 >Past me you piece of shit
 >Clean up tissues all used out
 Turn to my left
 Half uneaten sandwich from earlier
 Perfect
 >Pick up sandwich and start dabbing it around my dick to try to clean up
 What the fuck was I thinking. At least it's semi doing the job
 >Crumbs everywhere
 >I severely underestimated how quickly I could clean up
 Door swings on open, dad comes in with fresh laundry
 Stops in shock.
 I'm sprawled on the bed with a semi, and a cum covered sandwich.
 >He mutters What the fuck and quickly walks out of the door
 Oh shit what the fuck do I do now
 10 minutes of basking in guilt I decide Il take down my soggy sandwich to bin it
 >Slowly go into kitchen
 Thank fuck no'one in there
 Leave sandwich on side for a second
 >All of that sandwich decoration had me thirsty
 Pouring drink
 Suddenly hear, Tm guessing you're not gonna eat this
 >Turn around to see my mom munching away
 Oh my fucking god
 What the fuck do I say
 >Before I can say anything dad waltz into the kitchen
 Looks at mom.
 Looks at sandwich
 >Looks at me.
 Mtw
 I run the fuck out of the house
 >Now I'm posting this on my phone.
 bl, help
Bad, Clothes, and Head: andering around through the streets one evening you come across an old hotel. A sign out front says, "Masquerade ball tonight, open to the public, free admittance. Having nothing better to do you go in to check it out. When you enter the ballroom you discover a scene out of history, men and women dressed in the finest clothes the 15th century had to offer. Feeling a bit underdressed and out of place you turn to leave. Standing behind you is a man in a jester's costume, "Ah, welcome friend! Oh, but this won't do, you must have a mask! This way He suddenly grabs you by the arm and drags you to a stand in the corner. "Here, choose whichever one strikes you fancy." Mask of the Many of the ol Ohis mask bestows its wearer with he fool's mask will make you theOhe mask of fortune offers you regarding money. Youll never return the investment, mask of fortune offers vou the ability to create two dones. Te lfe of the party and the center of dones behave exactly as you would attention. When attempting to and obey all orders you give them following the spirit of the order. All near prescience in all matters entertain or distract others you have all the skills necessary make a bad deal, stocks you buy acumen, businesses you manage always Ma and exercise they achieved you gain sleight of hand, any skill you need the benefits of when you recall them. in order to perform is there when Example: If you have one of them sleep, you will feel rested when you recall it. florish. Making money will be second nature to you and will seem iwhen you you make an Deaths Head Mask Mask of Revolution Mask of ldentity Now you have become Death, the is mask offers you the ability toOhemask of identity bestows you with the ability steal the identity and appearance of anyone you have ever destroyer of worlds. This mask gives vou the ability to inflict death with only a glance. You need not be seeing a live view of a person to kill them. You can also ward away death from those around you, allowing them time to heal so that they are no longer dying. Warding away death by old age or incurable illness instills the target with 6 more months of life. disregard rules and laws without consequence. Shoot a man in the street or rob a bank and the police seen. All means of identification will will ignore the infraction. Others may retaliate against you for yourEveryone will view the person you actions, but only for personal/ emotional reasons not moral or idealistic reasons. to you. copied as some deranged identity thief. No matter how out of character you act, no one will question that you are who you say you are. When vou abandon an identity all forms of identification will transfer back to the owner Mask of the Wild Mask of Wrath and/or incorporalgh the mask of the wild you mask bestows upon you a at will. The mask of the phantom can tun you into a specter, able to pass unseen and unknown through the world. While invisible you are undetectable through every sense except touch. While incorporeal you can pass through anything, but cannot affect anything. can become any extant animal and communicate with any creature. You can add and shed mass as necessary to become anything from a flea to a whale. You can mastery of arm and combat. You will knowledge and skill in every martial art conceived by man. Further, you will instinctively know how to use any weapon you touch (including commuicate with anything that has improvised weaponry). You will also the remotest semblance of a mind. lose the fear of pain that holds others back. ter putting on the mask your memories of the evening become a haze of dance and drink. The last thing you remember is trying to take off the mask and the jester saying, "Oh no, you can't remove the mask. Though the world may never see it, the mask will always be with you." And then you awoke in your bed. strife
Bad, Clothes, and Head: andering around through the streets one evening you come across an
 old hotel. A sign out front says, "Masquerade ball tonight, open to the public,
 free admittance.
 Having nothing better to do you go in to check it out. When you enter the
 ballroom you discover a scene out of history, men and women dressed in the
 finest clothes the 15th century had to offer. Feeling a bit underdressed and out
 of place you turn to leave. Standing behind you is a man in a jester's costume,
 "Ah, welcome friend! Oh, but this won't do, you must have a mask! This way
 He suddenly grabs you by the arm and drags you to a stand in the corner. "Here,
 choose whichever one strikes you fancy."
 Mask of the Many
 of the ol
 Ohis mask bestows its wearer with
 he fool's mask will make you theOhe mask of fortune offers you
 regarding money. Youll never
 return the investment,
 mask of fortune offers vou
 the ability to create two dones. Te lfe of the party and the center of
 dones behave exactly as you would attention. When attempting to
 and obey all orders you give them
 following the spirit of the order. All
 near prescience in all matters
 entertain or distract others you have
 all the skills necessary
 make a bad deal, stocks you buy
 acumen,
 businesses you manage always
 Ma
 and exercise they achieved you gain sleight of hand, any skill you need
 the benefits of when you recall them. in order to perform is there when
 Example: If you have one of them
 sleep, you will feel rested when you
 recall it.
 florish. Making money will be
 second nature to you and will
 seem
 iwhen you you make an
 Deaths Head Mask
 Mask of Revolution
 Mask of ldentity
 Now you have become Death, the is mask offers you the ability toOhemask of identity bestows you
 with the ability steal the identity and
 appearance of anyone you have ever
 destroyer of worlds. This mask gives
 vou the ability to inflict death with
 only a glance. You need not be
 seeing a live view of a person to kill
 them. You can also ward away
 death from those around you,
 allowing them time to heal so that
 they are no longer dying. Warding
 away death by old age or incurable
 illness instills the target with 6 more
 months of life.
 disregard rules and laws without
 consequence. Shoot a man in the
 street or rob a bank and the police seen. All means of identification will
 will ignore the infraction. Others
 may retaliate against you for yourEveryone will view the person you
 actions, but only for personal/
 emotional reasons not moral or
 idealistic reasons.
 to
 you.
 copied as some deranged identity
 thief. No matter how out of character
 you act, no one will question that
 you are who you say you are. When
 vou abandon an identity all forms of
 identification will transfer back to the
 owner
 Mask of the Wild
 Mask of Wrath
 and/or incorporalgh the mask of the wild you
 mask bestows upon you a
 at will. The mask of the phantom
 can tun you into a specter, able to
 pass unseen and unknown through
 the world. While invisible you are
 undetectable through every sense
 except touch. While incorporeal you
 can pass through anything, but
 cannot affect anything.
 can become any extant animal and
 communicate with any creature.
 You can add and shed mass as
 necessary to become anything from
 a flea to a whale. You can
 mastery of arm and combat. You will
 knowledge and skill in every
 martial art conceived by man. Further,
 you will instinctively know how to use
 any weapon you touch (including
 commuicate with anything that has
 improvised weaponry). You will also
 the remotest semblance of a mind.
 lose the fear of pain that holds others
 back.
 ter putting on the mask your memories of the evening become a haze of
 dance and drink. The last thing you remember is trying to take off the mask and
 the jester saying, "Oh no, you can't remove the mask. Though the world may
 never see it, the mask will always be with you." And then you awoke in your bed.
 strife