🔥 | Latest

suddenly: Just cause I was cleaning my desk doesn’t suddenly mean I should go vacuum the whole house
suddenly: Just cause I was cleaning my desk doesn’t suddenly mean I should go vacuum the whole house

Just cause I was cleaning my desk doesn’t suddenly mean I should go vacuum the whole house

suddenly: animalsnaps: When older bro turns head suddenly, so does little bro (Source)
suddenly: animalsnaps:

When older bro turns head suddenly, so does little bro (Source)

animalsnaps: When older bro turns head suddenly, so does little bro (Source)

suddenly: We’ve suddenly lost our support, sir.
suddenly: We’ve suddenly lost our support, sir.

We’ve suddenly lost our support, sir.

suddenly: roachpatrol: mogifire: friend this still cracks me up like can you imagine you’re 130 years old and suddenly a gigantic alien baby starts following you around
suddenly: roachpatrol:
mogifire:
friend
this still cracks me up like can you imagine you’re 130 years old and suddenly a gigantic alien baby starts following you around

roachpatrol: mogifire: friend this still cracks me up like can you imagine you’re 130 years old and suddenly a gigantic alien baby starts...

suddenly: amriinthewarp: Suddenly head of Konrad Curze
suddenly: amriinthewarp:

Suddenly head of Konrad Curze

amriinthewarp: Suddenly head of Konrad Curze

suddenly: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.”
suddenly: brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-ch...

suddenly: feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know. Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned. She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” @randomnightlord As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me
suddenly: feniczoroark:

aqueerkettleofish:

brightlotusmoon:

a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

Also, consider— people will know it’s you, but it doesn’t say they’ll know what you are. “So is Pete a 50 foot flamingo who changes into a man, or the other way around?”“We.. we don’t know.  Barbara asked him once, but he just grinned.  She said they weren’t the teeth of a human OR flamingo and she didn’t want to talk about it.” 



@randomnightlord 


As a trans girl this button has no negative side effects for me

feniczoroark: aqueerkettleofish: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elven...

suddenly: When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing
suddenly: When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing

When you are laughing at all the corona memes but the laughing suddenly turns into coughing

suddenly: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges
suddenly: ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure falters slowly towards my truck, trembling gingerly on arthritic limbs in the icy winter air.His grey muzzle and sorrowful eyes tell a sad tale of many years of hunger, pain and despair. A faint and sorrowful whimper emits from his throat as he gazes beseechingly at my bountiful box of biscuits, hoping against hope that I might ease his pangs of hunger and grant him one more night of survival by sharing a small morsel of sustenance with him.My heartstrings taut with compassion, I dig deep into my biscuit box and gently place 4 biscuits into his quivering jowls, praying with all my might that I have arrived in time to prevent his imminent starvation.And then…the magic happens.Like Popeye eating his can of spinach, an incredible transformation suddenly takes place. He is cured! The pain in his limbs is gone! His eyes sparkle! In less than a second, strength and vigor have returned to his formerly weak and malnourished body! In one bound he leaps from the steps of the truck and proceeds to to zoomies all about the yard like a puppy 12 years his junior, his speed turning him into a veritable blur, before running into the house thru his dog door. Through the living room window I see him leap up onto his spot on the couch next to the woodstove, a veritable blizzard of biscuit crumbs flying all over the lap of his human as he chomps happily away at the bounty of goodness that I have bestowed upon him. With tears of joy in my eyes I proceed to drive away, feeling a solemn pride in the knowledge that my generosity has saved this once-suffering dog from what was most certainly an imminent death from starvation. And to those of you who claim that I have merely been bamboozled and bewitched out of biscuits by a canine con artist, I say this; I am a trained professional with years of experience. Do I REALLY look like a guy who could get manipulated out of treats by a mere dog?By Scott Hodges

ups-dogs:On a dark and lonely night in the hills outside of Newberg, Oregon…a forlorn, feeble, famished, freezing, four-legged figure fal...

suddenly: twentyratsinatrenchcoat: waywardmasquerade: jabletown: manicpixiedreamalien: did-you-kno: Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland creates creepy mirrored sculptures out of acrylic glass that makes them blend into their surroundings until your perspective shifts and they suddenly catch your eye. Source Source 2 imagine getting lost in the woods and coming across these on a scale of 1-10 how ready for death would you be i didn’t know chaotic evil looked like someone’s dad from north dakota Some one needs to stat these mirror beings ASAP Mirrorfolk Medium construct, lawful evil AC: 15 HP: 100 (8d10+20) Speed: 30ft STR: 14 (+2) WIS: 16 (+3) CON: 10 (+0) INT: 16 (+3) DEX: 18 (+4) CHA: 20 (+5) Skills: Perception (+5), Deception (+9) Senses: Truesight, low-light vision, passive perception 13 Languages: Common Challenge: 5 (1,800 XP) Immunities: Mind-affecting spells, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects Proficiencies: No armor; simple weapons Natural Camoflauge: A mirrorfolk can blend in easily to any environment by reflecting the world around them. In order to notice a mirrorfolk using it’s camoflauge, players must pass a check with a DC 18. Reflection: Three times a day, a mirrorfolk may reflect a spell cast at it by passing a dexterity check (DC 16). This acts as though the mirrorfolk had cast the spell with the original caster as the target, or as though it had been directly reflected from a mirror (ex. A fireball caught by a mirrorfolk directly reflects the cone of effect). The Eye of the Beholder: A mirrorfolk may cast Charm Person, Hypnotic Pattern, Suggestion, Crown of Madness, or Enemies Abound up to four time per day at their base level. The four times are total, not for each spell. It may cast Minor Illusion or Prestidigitation at will. However, any illusion created by these spells (including Hypnotic Pattern) uses its own surfaces. The Scott’s Pet: Mirrorfolk act as guards to a human mage named Mulholland the Sculptor. Their primary goal of creation is to divert attention from Mulholland, and do so either through illusion or through turning party members against each other. They will also act as living shields if need be. However, mirrorfolk are considered awaken constructs, and their loyalty comes strictly from Mulholland’s kindness towards them.
suddenly: twentyratsinatrenchcoat:
waywardmasquerade:


jabletown:

manicpixiedreamalien:

did-you-kno:

Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland 
creates creepy mirrored sculptures 
out of acrylic glass that makes 
them blend into their surroundings 
until your perspective shifts and 
they suddenly catch your eye.  Source Source 2

imagine getting lost in the woods and coming across these
on a scale of 1-10 how ready for death would you be

i didn’t know chaotic evil looked like someone’s dad from north dakota

Some one needs to stat these mirror beings ASAP



Mirrorfolk
Medium construct, lawful evil
AC: 15
HP: 100 (8d10+20)
Speed: 30ft
STR: 14 (+2)                  WIS: 16 (+3)
CON: 10 (+0)                  INT: 16 (+3)
DEX: 18 (+4)                CHA: 20 (+5)
Skills: Perception (+5), Deception (+9)
Senses: Truesight, low-light vision, passive perception 13
Languages: Common
Challenge: 5 (1,800 XP)
Immunities: Mind-affecting spells, poison, sleep effects, paralysis, stunning, disease, death effects, and necromancy effects
Proficiencies: No armor; simple weapons
Natural Camoflauge: A mirrorfolk can blend in easily to any environment by reflecting the world around them. In order to notice a mirrorfolk using it’s camoflauge, players must pass a check with a DC 18.
Reflection: Three times a day, a mirrorfolk may reflect a spell cast at it by passing a dexterity check (DC 16). This acts as though the mirrorfolk had cast the spell with the original caster as the target, or as though it had been directly reflected from a mirror (ex. A fireball caught by a mirrorfolk directly reflects the cone of effect).
The Eye of the Beholder: A mirrorfolk may cast Charm Person, Hypnotic Pattern, Suggestion, Crown of Madness, or Enemies Abound up to four time per day at their base level. The four times are total, not for each spell. It may cast Minor Illusion or Prestidigitation at will. However, any illusion created by these spells (including Hypnotic Pattern) uses its own surfaces.
The Scott’s Pet: Mirrorfolk act as guards to a human mage named Mulholland the Sculptor. Their primary goal of creation is to divert attention from Mulholland, and do so either through illusion or through turning party members against each other. They will also act as living shields if need be. However, mirrorfolk are considered awaken constructs, and their loyalty comes strictly from Mulholland’s kindness towards them.

twentyratsinatrenchcoat: waywardmasquerade: jabletown: manicpixiedreamalien: did-you-kno: Scottish sculptor Rob Mulholland creates...

suddenly: Suddenly explosions and micheal bay by CavoTheCat MORE MEMES
suddenly: Suddenly explosions and micheal bay by CavoTheCat
MORE MEMES

Suddenly explosions and micheal bay by CavoTheCat MORE MEMES

suddenly: At a plant, then suddenly Homer.
suddenly: At a plant, then suddenly Homer.

At a plant, then suddenly Homer.

suddenly: gaymerlvl-pharmercy: birbiebabies: chamfrons-checques-n-champignons: betheothergirl: solitarelee: 221cbakerstreet: spookyrawr: rassoey: avianawareness: aph-romania: reallymisscoffee: dansknapp: stultiloquentia: doctormemelordmd: fangirling-so-hard-rn: Crows are scaryThey use tools Can be taught to speak (like parrots) Have huge brains for birds like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things they are scary smart at solving puzzles some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies they can remember faces SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES. They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns. Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q)  Yeah but have you seen this  A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free. Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree. Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before. That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him.  Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree.  That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick. Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring. that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful. Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice.  this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad.  i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance. a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth. i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son. Best birbs !! your son is Beautiful and Strong every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way. As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater.  !!!! I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time. He’s so handsome!! I would trust a crow with my life
suddenly: gaymerlvl-pharmercy:

birbiebabies:

chamfrons-checques-n-champignons:

betheothergirl:

solitarelee:

221cbakerstreet:

spookyrawr:

rassoey:

avianawareness:

aph-romania:

reallymisscoffee:

dansknapp:

stultiloquentia:

doctormemelordmd:

fangirling-so-hard-rn:

Crows are scaryThey
use tools
Can be taught to speak (like parrots)
Have huge brains for birds
like seriously their brain-to-body size ratio is equal to that of a chimpanzee
They vocalize anger, sadness, or happiness in response to things
they are scary smart at solving puzzles
some crows stay with their mates until one of them dies
they can remember faces
SIDENOTE HERE BECAUSE HOLY SHIT.  They did an experiment where these guys wore masks and some of them fucked with crows.  Pretty soon the crows recognized the masks = douchebag.  But the nice guys with masks they left alone.  THEN, OH WE’RE NOT DONE, NO SIR crows that WEREN’T EVEN IN THE EXPERIMENT AND NEVER SAW THE MASK BEFORE knew about mask-dudes and attacked them on sight.  THEY PASSED ON THE FUCKING INFORMATION TO THEIR CROW BUDDIES.
They remember places where crows were killed by farmers and change their migration patterns.
Guys I’m really scared of crows now.(q) 

Yeah but have you seen this 


A colleague of my dad’s lives next to a lake, and looked out the window one morning to see a duck trapped in the ice. A crow swooped down. “Oh hell,” she thought, expecting carnage, because crows are opportunists. But the crow chipped at the ice with its beak until the duck was free.

Idk of this counts but a few crows saved me from a magpie swooping attack once ,they’re bros who can tell when magpies are being unreasonable and need to chill

I love crows so damn much. When I was fifteen, I hit a pretty serious bout of depression, to the point I was in my room for months. Well, a family of crows made a nest in a tree outside my window. There were two parents and two chicks. One chick was healthy and strong. One was weak, and had a caw like something being strained. It sounded more like a rooster crowing and so my parents jokingly named him ‘Buck’.Well… months passed and Buck’s sibling was taught to fly. His parents focused on the sibling because the sibling was strong. The father stayed behind to try and teach Buck, but I saw him try to fly, fail, and crash to the floor. His father helped him back up into the tree.
Every day, I would watch Buck from my window until one day I opened it and started talking to him. He was small and gangly and he couldn’t caw right. His feathers were all over the place and I felt a kinship. So I made a deal with him. I told him that if he could do it, if he could fly, then I could find the strength to get up. Well… near the end of the season, after talking with him every day, I finally saw him get out of the nest. He went to the edge of his branch, braced himself, and jumped… and just before he hit the ground, he soared back up into the sky. I cheered harder than I ever had before.
That winter, Buck left the area. I was crestfallen. I felt like I’d lost a friend. But I was so damn proud of him. 
Cut to the next spring? I’m walking up the driveway one day when suddenly I hear a sound… a broken caw. I look up, and Buck is sitting in a tree above my head. He stared at me and puffed his feathers, then hopped down in front of me and cawed again. I was so damn thrilled, and I told him how proud I was of him. He ruffled his feathers and then soared off into his old tree. 
That summer? I heard two broken caws. One from Buck… and one from his chick.
Cut to ten years later? We have a family of crows who all have a very distinct caw and they come here and spend every spring, summer, and fall on our property. Buck still greets me every spring.

that last reply made me wanna cry. that’s so beautiful.

Don’t forget the Russian Crow SLEDDING DOWN A ROOF not once, but twice. 

this one morning i kept hearing really loud caws, i remember it was like 5am, LIKE REALLY LOUD AND ANNOYING AND AGGRESSIVE, so loud that i could hear it through a closed window, and i eventually went outside to check it out. there was a crow on my front lawn, it had an injury on its head and couldn’t fly and there were two other crows circling right above it, and they were cawing like mad. 
i tried to get close and take a better look and one of them dived super low and tried to attack me. so i went back in the house and chopped some sliced raw meat and tossed it at him from a distance.
a few more times later, very soon after, they could tell i was trying to help, and did not attack me. i was “allowed” to walk up close and pick him up, he couldn’t drink water properly so i had to dip my finger in a bowl and stick it in his mouth.
i did this few times a day and it went on for about a week before he disappeared, i thought he recovered and left, but he came back the next day and lands on me, and i see him around the block quite often, and he would come sit on my shoulder for a few minutes and then fly away again. i feel like i’ve adopted a son.

Best birbs !!


your son is Beautiful and Strong

every time I see this post it has different crow stories and every time I reblog it again because all crow stories are good stories

Like, I wouldn’t want to be on bad terms with a crow, but they are a really smart animal, they aren’t scary You just want to be nice to them because they will know and they will remember, and they will pay you back if you treat them a certain way.
As a side note, I volunteered at a rehab (Hope for Wildlife), where they were rehabbing a crow with a broken wing–who was named Russell Crow. He kept pulling his bandage off so a sleeve was cut off some old clothing and put on him like a little sweater. 

!!!!


I don’t think I’ll ever not reblog this. This posts makes me cry and smile at the same time.


He’s so handsome!!



I would trust a crow with my life

gaymerlvl-pharmercy: birbiebabies: chamfrons-checques-n-champignons: betheothergirl: solitarelee: 221cbakerstreet: spookyrawr: ras...

suddenly: dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lovedsomuch: warsfeils: anubituf: harukami: last-snowfall: weareallmedie: firedanceryote: reptila-tequila: qeilla: thefreckledavantgardegoober: mysticmisfit89: Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada….. No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck. And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car. moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.” like, fuck off with that I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals. They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people. Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away. I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING Moose are terrifying, you guys. I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist. I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside. If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah.  Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month.  Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD. Moose. MOOSE. I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this. The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that. Moose confirmed for actual kaiju. Kaiju category: Maple.   Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. @ssalogel For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is  4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant” And they can run up to 40 miles per hour A 16 wheeler with fur
suddenly: dynastylnoire:

writernotwaiting:

hellenhighwater:

astolen98saturnsedan:

luadell:

thisnewdevilry:

sputnikcentury:

teapotsahoy:

lovedsomuch:

warsfeils:

anubituf:

harukami:

last-snowfall:

weareallmedie:

firedanceryote:

reptila-tequila:

qeilla:

thefreckledavantgardegoober:

mysticmisfit89:

Meanwhile, in prehistoric Canada…..

No no, you don’t understand, moose really do get that big. Take it from a Canadian. I’ve seen that bullshit in person. Scary as all heck.

And that’s how people can die if they hit a moose. Seriously, one of our fears when driving in the country is having to deal with this scenario of a moose jumping out in front of the car.

moose are actual legit ice age megafauna; theyve been here since the ice age, they are old as fuck. they also are pretty terrifying and ive echoed this before but i went to wiki and “In terms of raw numbers, they attack more people than bears and wolves combined” and “ In the Americas, moose injure more people than any other wild mammal and, worldwide, only hippopotamuses injure more.”
like, fuck off with that

I was dog sitting a dog once who insisted she had to go out in the middle of the night it was an emergency, so I took her out. Suddenly she starts pointing and barking and I look up and can just make out the outline of a HUGE moose. I’ve been accidentally face to face with a black bear and that scared me less than being up close with a moose. I’m 5 foot so imagine staring up at an animal several feet taller than you that is debating charging the dog who’s leash you are holding. I was terrified as I grabbed the dog by her collar to get better control over her and backed up slowly til I was out of line of sight and bolted for the house at a dead run. Did you know most Canadian lake monster stories come from people seeing moose swimming? They are massive animals.

They are massive and they charge. I get so scared when tourists are all “oh yeah, we got out of the car to get a closer look and, ya’ll have some mighty impressive animals around here.”Yes, yes we do, and they have mighty tired guardian angels because moose can, and do, charge at people.

Someone my mom worked with died hitting a moose on the highway. Their eyes don’t reflect light. In the dark they are literally nothing but a big slightly darker shape in the night. Roughly every year in the town I grew up in, a cow (moose) and her calf will wander through downtown. Maybe once or twice. If she’s aggressive enough, the local Mounties will escort her through to keep idiots away.

I’ve definitely talked with people who thought moose were deer-sized or maybe horse-sized and I was like NO YOU DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND MOOSE ARE TERRIFYING
Moose are terrifying, you guys.

I finally live on a province where moose and deer exist.
I do not drive at night in fear of meeting one. If you hit a moose going 90 on a highway, not only is your car trashed, you are probably trashed. I’ve seen cars that got wrecked and there seems to be a consensus that at least half the time, the giant fucking beastie just shakes itself off and continues gallumphing along the countryside.

If you fucking hit a moose with your car and their legs go through your windshield, congratulations, you are dead. Massive hooves kicking you to death? Yeah. 
Moose are fucking terrifying. Bull moose won’t fuck with you too much unless you fuck with them, but the time a bull moose casually swaggered his way past 7 year old me when I was sledding literally put me off winter sports for a solid month. 
Momma moose and their babies, though? I legitimately had to call in to work to be like “ey yo there is a moose in my driveway and I can’t get out” AND MY MANAGERS UNDERSTOOD.
Moose. MOOSE.

I have to admit I thought they were like a Canadian deer before this.

The commenter above who claims that moose’s eyes don’t reflect light is only partially correct; if you shine a flashlight in a moose’s eyes it will glow like a cat (and then you will probably get killed to death by an annoyed moose) but the reason they are so dangerous to cars at nights is that they are too tall for the headlights to reach. Think about that.

Moose confirmed for actual kaiju.


Kaiju category: Maple.  


Now I kinda want a kaiju movie set in Canada where it’s just a moose. Like a regular moose but more aggressive. 

@ssalogel

For scale, a female african elephant is 7.2-8.5 feet at the shoulder, according to Wikipedia. A moose is 

4.6 – 6.9 ft. at the shoulder. So instead of thinking “This animal is a bit bigger than a deer” you can think “This animal is barely smaller than an elephant”

And they can run up to 40 miles per hour


A 16 wheeler with fur

dynastylnoire: writernotwaiting: hellenhighwater: astolen98saturnsedan: luadell: thisnewdevilry: sputnikcentury: teapotsahoy: lov...

suddenly: lem0uro:I was doodling and i suddenly remembered this cake challenge video with tyler oakley and miles jai
suddenly: lem0uro:I was doodling and i suddenly remembered this cake challenge video with tyler oakley and miles jai

lem0uro:I was doodling and i suddenly remembered this cake challenge video with tyler oakley and miles jai

suddenly: Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.
suddenly: Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

suddenly: Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.
suddenly: Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

Was trying to take a cute, sexy pic for my boyfriend when suddenly I lost my balance.

suddenly: Suddenly 4K miles don’t seem that far
suddenly: Suddenly 4K miles don’t seem that far

Suddenly 4K miles don’t seem that far

suddenly: omg-humor: Suddenly
suddenly: omg-humor:

Suddenly

omg-humor: Suddenly

suddenly: WillYouPressTheButton?.com I will not! You can shapeshift into any form you choose but People will always know it's you endyranartz: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-chama: ocean-child-love: kaibas-paragraphical-mind: what-is-a-homestuck: WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT “I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.” I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere,  every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will. I don’t see how this is much of a downside When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know That’s great but have you considered ~cosplay ~Halloween costumes ~acting ~cosplay ~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces ~cosplay ~cosplay ~COSPLAY imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” “BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.” “Don’t antagonize the fae.” “I AM the fae, Susan.” This would be fun when around friends. 
suddenly: WillYouPressTheButton?.com
 I will not!
 You can shapeshift into
 any form you choose
 but
 People will always know
 it's you
endyranartz:

brightlotusmoon:
a-holiday-franchise:


perpetualcombustioninstruction:

revereche:

bogleech:

elvenrainbow:

shitsuren-chama:

ocean-child-love:

kaibas-paragraphical-mind:

what-is-a-homestuck:

WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT

YOU COULD BE A FUCKING BADASS DRAGON THAT’S THE POINT

“I AM A CREATURE OF DARKNESS” “oh hey sabrina.”

I guess the point is that you could shapeshift into the body you always thought you’d grow into when you were a kid
taller, shorter, slimmer, more muscular, purple hair, tattoos everywhere, tattoos nowhere, 
every single shoe would fit you every single time you tried it on, every single article of clothing would fit your perfectly, all you have to do is transform slightly, you’d never run out of ‘your size’ again
and you wouldn’t have to work for it at all, and you’d never be limitted by your bone structure or something. You could just transform at will.



I don’t see how this is much of a downside
When you turn into a sixty story tentacle demon and terrorize a city you want to get the credit you deserve

Oh man that would be so sweet. I could be an annoying fuck as an insect or something but you couldn’t kill me because everyone would know

That’s great but have you considered
~cosplay
~Halloween costumes
~acting
~cosplay
~stretching to reach stuff and shrinking to fit through spaces
~cosplay
~cosplay
~COSPLAY


imagine being at work minding your business and then suddenly you look out the window and see like a 50ft tall flamingo and then someone just says “oh, yeah, that’s just pete, he does this sometimes, don’t worry” 



“BRB, gonna be a cat-sized dragon for a few hours. Might come home a foot taller with mood tattoos.”
“Don’t antagonize the fae.”
“I AM the fae, Susan.”

This would be fun when around friends. 

endyranartz: brightlotusmoon: a-holiday-franchise: perpetualcombustioninstruction: revereche: bogleech: elvenrainbow: shitsuren-ch...

suddenly: Facts that can save your life. If you vomit and it looks like coffee grounds, you need to get to a hospital. You're bleeding somew The partially digested blood comes up looking like coffee grounds. here and it's reaching your stomach If you ever almost drown to the point of throwing up water or passing out, even if you feel 100% fine, get to a hospital. Your lungs can unwittingly self-fill up with fluid over the next few hours. When having a heart attack, you don't swallow asprin, you chew it. Then swallow. If you're ever somewhere really high (e.g hiking) and you hear crunchy/crinkling noises in the air and/or feel static electricity (like your hair standing up) . get out of there immediately, lightning is on it's way If you're at the beach and the ocean suddenly recedes, get to high ground. ASAP Rohypnol, the date rape drug, has a salty taste to it. Utrafacts.umblr.com mizukiinozomii: spsyched: ladyofthegeneral: bonnieblue85: keeping-up-with-the-jenners: just-the-way-youre-not: ultrafacts: Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts THIS IS SO IMPORTANT Reblogging because I care about you guys Important Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want.  Everyone should reblog this! Very useful.
suddenly: Facts that can save your life.
 If you vomit and it looks like coffee grounds,
 you need to get to a hospital. You're bleeding
 somew
 The partially digested blood comes up looking
 like coffee grounds.
 here and it's reaching your stomach
 If you ever almost drown to the point of
 throwing up water or passing out, even if you
 feel 100% fine, get to a hospital. Your lungs
 can unwittingly self-fill up with fluid over the
 next few hours.
 When having a heart attack, you don't
 swallow asprin, you chew it. Then swallow.
 If you're ever somewhere really high (e.g
 hiking) and you hear crunchy/crinkling noises
 in the air and/or feel static electricity (like
 your hair standing up) . get out of there
 immediately, lightning is on it's way
 If you're at the beach and the ocean suddenly
 recedes, get to high ground. ASAP
 Rohypnol, the date rape drug, has a salty
 taste to it.
 Utrafacts.umblr.com
mizukiinozomii:

spsyched:

ladyofthegeneral:

bonnieblue85:

keeping-up-with-the-jenners:

just-the-way-youre-not:

ultrafacts:

Source: 1 2 3 4 5 6 If you want more facts, follow Ultrafacts

THIS IS SO IMPORTANT

Reblogging because I care about you guys

Important

Rohypnol has an INCREDIBLY salty taste to it. It’s disgusting. And it also isn’t a drug that acts immediately! The minute you notice the salty taste, you have about 5-10 minutes to get somewhere safe or call an ambulance, and it CAN be fought if you’re aware of it. It will make you woozy, it will make you so dizzy you can’t stand upright, it will certainly make you unable to walk properly, but if you struggle to remain conscious you can get about 20 extra minutes of consciousness from the drug before it will knock you out completely. If you’re in a public place, and the person who drugged you is trying to take you somewhere private, start. a. fight. Insist as LOUDLY and as VIOLENTLY as you can that you refuse to go anywhere with them. Odds are they’re 

 trying to make as little of a scene as possible as they drag you away, and if you’re putting up a fight and very clearly ‘drunk’, eyes will turn on them and they’ll either need to let you go, or cause a serious scene, which they don’t want. Don’t just act like you’re just protesting being taken home, though. Fight like your life depends on it even if they aren’t assaulting you. Cause. A. Scene. That’s the last thing they want. 

Everyone should reblog this!


Very useful.

mizukiinozomii: spsyched: ladyofthegeneral: bonnieblue85: keeping-up-with-the-jenners: just-the-way-youre-not: ultrafacts: Source:...

suddenly: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
suddenly: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

suddenly: Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen Remember the story about a Starbucks employee writing "pig" on a coffee order for police officers? The employee who did it was friends with the cops, but they complained later and got the trans woman who was her manager fired. DOGAD tem: 4 of 4 tems in order: 5 PIG It Hot Choc Fired Starbucks manager Lola Rose considering lawsuit over 'Pl... The Starbucks manager who was fired when a cop at her shop received an order labeled "PIG" is considering suing the coffee giant for making her. nypost.com 5:50 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC 12,231 Retweets 34,062 Likes Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen A lot of times transphobia isn't overt. It's not bigotry in your face. It's a shifting of expectations, a hyper focus on your other perceived faults, a sudden lack of tolerance for mistakes or room for understanding. Suddenly, you don't get the benefit of the doubt. 5:53 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC 687 Retweets 4,688 Likes Ari Drennen Follow @AriDrennen This blew up so I want to share what appears to be Lola's GoFundMe. Help her out if you can! DOGAP tem: 4 of 4 tems in order: 5 PIG t Hot Choc Click here to support Starbucks terminated me with no cause. or... Lola Rose Starbucks terminated me with no cause. My name is Lola Mae Rose I'm from Tulsa county Oklahoma and this is my story. ON NOVE. gofundme.com 9:48 AM - 10 Dec 2019 474 Retweets 1,472 Likes gahdamnpunk: “Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted to work for Starbucks because of how they treat employees.” Corporations are not your friends and the police were indeed pigs. The fundraiser
suddenly: Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 Remember the story about a Starbucks
 employee writing "pig" on a coffee order
 for police officers? The employee who
 did it was friends with the cops, but they
 complained later and got the trans
 woman who was her manager fired.
 DOGAD
 tem: 4 of 4
 tems in order: 5
 PIG
 It Hot Choc
 Fired Starbucks manager Lola Rose considering lawsuit over 'Pl...
 The Starbucks manager who was fired when a cop at her shop received an
 order labeled "PIG" is considering suing the coffee giant for making her.
 nypost.com
 5:50 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC
 12,231 Retweets 34,062 Likes

 Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 A lot of times transphobia isn't overt. It's
 not bigotry in your face. It's a shifting of
 expectations, a hyper focus on your
 other perceived faults, a sudden lack of
 tolerance for mistakes or room for
 understanding. Suddenly, you don't get
 the benefit of the doubt.
 5:53 PM - 9 Dec 2019 from Washington, DC
 687 Retweets 4,688 Likes

 Ari Drennen
 Follow
 @AriDrennen
 This blew up so I want to share what
 appears to be Lola's GoFundMe. Help
 her out if you can!
 DOGAP
 tem: 4 of 4
 tems in order: 5
 PIG
 t Hot Choc
 Click here to support Starbucks terminated me with no cause. or...
 Lola Rose Starbucks terminated me with no cause. My name is Lola Mae
 Rose I'm from Tulsa county Oklahoma and this is my story. ON NOVE.
 gofundme.com
 9:48 AM - 10 Dec 2019
 474 Retweets 1,472 Likes
gahdamnpunk:


“Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted 
to work for Starbucks because of how they treat employees.”


Corporations are not your friends and the police were indeed pigs.
The fundraiser

gahdamnpunk: “Rose, who is a transgender college student, said she had always wanted to work for Starbucks because of how they treat e...