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Birthday, Comfortable, and Confidence: reddit-tales What has been your worst "nice guy" experience? So, possibly one of the coolest things I've ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the "women want him, men want to *be* him" stuff in old movies? Well I'm a man and by *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway! I'm having dinner with my girlfriend at the time, and behind us are a couple on a not going well. Guy was being I rather inappropriate comments, the girl doesn't look at all comfortable. The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly my guess is she wanted to get it over with. Guy proceeds to comment on it and says "well, least I know you can swallow right?" Loudly Girl goes red and tells him that isn't appropriate, he literally waves his hand in a "shoo" type motion and says "oh calm down I was going to find out in a few hours anyway" I missed her exact re as she moved to a hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what was being said-fuck no, fuck off, fuck this. He responded with "sweetheart I picked lost the colour in her face and said nothing. No. No. Fuck no. I'm one of those "get involved" type of people and there is no way I'm sitting here watching this go down. I get up. I don't know what I'm going to do, but I'm 23, fighting fit and happy to put that motherfucker through a wall. I may have had a slight temper in my youth. But anyway. I was halfway out of my chair when a hand came down on my shoulder and I look up to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says "Easy. I've got this one son". Absolute, total confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my current plan amounted to "stab him in the neck" and I'm already thinking maybe that's not the best idea, I sit down. He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it around and sits down with the couple. Then.. he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the table. Now the guy doesn't have any colour in his face Cop: "So, I'm quietly celebrating my daughters birthday with my family when I distinctly hear you threaten this young lady, would you care to explain yourself?" Guy: "I, ah, well, um, you see. Cop: "That's what I thought. Now see, we take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing, so right now I'm deciding if I want to have some of my buddies come pick you up" Guy: "oh no well that..." Cop: "But that would disrupt everyone's dinner, so how about you hand me your ID, me, the dn't want yhe staff here and settle your bill., the full bill now, this young lady shouldn't go hungry on account of your poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first option, I'll leave it up to you. Guy: "No no! That's perfectly fine!" 1*hands over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the direction of the counter Cop: while writing down the guys details 1* "Sorry about that miss, I hope I'm not intruding it just seemed like you could use some help. Oh and don't worry, if you want to pursue this further I'll have some of the boys pick him up on his way home, we can definitely take this further. Girl: "No, thank you so much, I wanted to run out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here". Cop: *shifts from hardarse cop to comforting father figure in about half a second* "Well I'm here with my daughter, she's about your age, perhaps you'd like to finish your meal with us? We can run you home afterwards if you'd like, unless you'd prefer to call someone else?" Girl: "Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou so much! *guy returns, so does the hardarse cop* Guy: "Uh so, I've paid the bill, if I could have back.". my Cop: "There you go. now I have your details right here so I *highly* recommend you don't go near or contact this young lady ever again. Guy: "Yes yes of course, I'm so sorry!" The quy pretty much fled the restaurant, the qirl went and sat with the cop and his family and by the time we left they were still sitting around talking and laughing about random crap. It was hands down the best way I have ever seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That cop is my hero. malicemanaged Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his life. Wholesome cop via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2SkCLRT
Birthday, Comfortable, and Confidence: reddit-tales
 What has been your worst
 "nice guy" experience?
 So, possibly one of the coolest things I've
 ever seen. I mean you know how you hear the
 "women want him, men want to *be* him"
 stuff in old movies? Well I'm a man and by
 *god* I wanted to be this guy. Anyway!
 I'm having dinner with my girlfriend at
 the time, and behind us are a couple on a
 not going well. Guy was being
 I
 rather
 inappropriate comments, the girl doesn't
 look at all comfortable.
 The girl finishes her appetiser really quickly
 my guess is she wanted to get it over with.
 Guy proceeds to comment on it and says
 "well, least I know you can swallow right?"
 Loudly
 Girl goes red and tells him that isn't
 appropriate, he literally waves his hand in
 a "shoo" type motion and says "oh calm
 down I was going to find out in a few hours
 anyway"
 I missed her exact re
 as she moved to a
 hushed tone, but it was fairly obvious what
 was being said-fuck no, fuck off, fuck this.
 He responded with "sweetheart I picked
 lost the
 colour in her face and said nothing.
 No. No. Fuck no. I'm one of those "get
 involved" type of people and there is no way
 I'm sitting here watching this go down. I get
 up. I don't know what I'm going to do, but
 I'm 23, fighting fit and happy to put that
 motherfucker through a wall. I may have had
 a slight temper in my youth. But anyway.
 I was halfway out of my chair when a hand
 came down on my shoulder and I look up
 to this mid-50s but super fit guy who says
 "Easy. I've got this one son". Absolute, total
 confidence in his voice.. so seeing as my
 current plan amounted to "stab him in the
 neck" and I'm already thinking maybe that's
 not the best idea, I sit down.
 He walks over, grabs a nearby chair, flips it
 around and sits down with the couple. Then..
 he pulls out his police ID and puts it on the
 table. Now the guy doesn't have any colour in
 his face
 Cop: "So, I'm quietly celebrating my
 daughters birthday with my family when I
 distinctly hear you threaten this young lady,
 would you care to explain yourself?"
 Guy: "I, ah, well, um, you see.
 Cop: "That's what I thought. Now see, we
 take a *very* dim view of that kind of thing,
 so right now I'm deciding if I want to have
 some of my buddies come pick you up"
 Guy: "oh no well that..."
 Cop: "But that would disrupt everyone's
 dinner, so how about you hand me your ID,
 me, the dn't want yhe staff here and
 settle your bill., the full bill now, this young
 lady shouldn't go hungry on account of your
 poor behaviour. Or we can go with the first
 option, I'll leave it up to you.
 Guy: "No no! That's perfectly fine!" 1*hands
 over ID, gets up and walks very quickly in the
 direction of the counter
 Cop: while writing down the guys details
 1* "Sorry about that miss, I hope I'm not
 intruding it just seemed like you could use
 some help. Oh and don't worry, if you want
 to pursue this further I'll have some of the
 boys pick him up on his way home, we can
 definitely take this further.
 Girl: "No, thank you so much, I wanted to run
 out 30 minutes ago but he drove me here".
 Cop: *shifts from hardarse cop to
 comforting father figure in about half a
 second* "Well I'm here with my daughter,
 she's about your age, perhaps you'd like to
 finish your meal with us? We can run you
 home afterwards if you'd like, unless you'd
 prefer to call someone else?"
 Girl: "Oh.. that would be really nice.. thankyou
 so much!
 *guy returns, so does the hardarse cop*
 Guy: "Uh so, I've paid the bill, if I could have
 back.".
 my
 Cop: "There you go. now I have your details
 right here so I *highly* recommend you
 don't go near or contact this young lady ever
 again.
 Guy: "Yes yes of course, I'm so sorry!"
 The quy pretty much fled the restaurant, the
 qirl went and sat with the cop and his family
 and by the time we left they were still sitting
 around talking and laughing about random
 crap.
 It was hands down the best way I have ever
 seen anybody handle any situation, ever. That
 cop is my hero.
 malicemanaged
 Dude. I hope that man has a great rest of his
 life.
Wholesome cop via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2SkCLRT

Wholesome cop via /r/wholesomememes https://ift.tt/2SkCLRT

Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58 02-UK e Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response: Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountain The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to: 1. chance crossing the bridge. 2. Continue down the path. 3. Stop to fish. & You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water. 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate 1 You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourself out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black... when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks. When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says: "Hey you, you're finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there"
Beard, Clothes, and Head: 0134 %D21:58
 02-UK e
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response:
 Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountain
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to:
 1. chance crossing the bridge.
 2. Continue down the path.
 3. Stop to fish.
 &
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water.
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 1
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourself
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black...
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says:
 "Hey you, you're finally awake.
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI#01 34%1021 :58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finally awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG

Tinder RPG

Beard, Clothes, and Dank: RI#01 34%1021 :58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finally awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG by DannyHallam MORE MEMES
Beard, Clothes, and Dank: RI#01 34%1021 :58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finally awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG by DannyHallam
MORE MEMES

Tinder RPG by DannyHallam MORE MEMES

Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI*034% 02-UK 21:58 Today 21:28 Congratulations on matching with Tom please select your response 1. Cheesy pick up line 2. Interesting fact 3. an honest compliment 4. Start a text RPG 4 You leave your cabin the woods with little more than the clothes on you back a small bag and your simple steel dagger you see 3 paths in from of you: 1. The path into the woods. 2. The path down to the river 3. The path up the mountairn 2 The path follows the river until it gets to an old decrepit wooden bridge. You decide to 1. chance crossing the bridge 2. Continue down the path 3. Stop to fish 3 You stand in the water and stab your sword randomly into the river. The fish do not seem impressed. As you contimplate your life descisions you hear footsteps in the water behind you. 1. run away 2. Turn around and draw your sword 3. Dive into the water 3 Without looking you dive straight into the deeper parts of the river. It's much colder than you expected and youre swept away by the strong current. You just manage to surface and keep your head above water 1. Swim towards the Riverbank 2. Accept your fate You manage to get to the edge of the bank and grab onto a rock, you use the last of your strength to pull yourseltf out of the freezing river, your frostbitten limbs barely working You lay face down on the grass by the river, as you slowly loose conciousness and everything fades to black.. when you wake up you hear the sound of horse shoes clopping and the sound of wooden wheels hitting rocks. When your eyes start working agian you see that your in the back of a horse drawn wagon. You see a man sat opposite you in handcuffs, with long blonde hair and a messy beard. He notices you're awake and says Hey you, you're finaly awake You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there" Tinder RPG
Beard, Clothes, and Head: RI*034%
 02-UK
 21:58
 Today 21:28
 Congratulations on matching
 with Tom please select your
 response
 1. Cheesy pick up line
 2. Interesting fact
 3. an honest compliment
 4. Start a text RPG
 4
 You leave your cabin the woods
 with little more than the clothes
 on you back a small bag and
 your simple steel dagger you
 see 3 paths in from of you:
 1. The path into the woods.
 2. The path down to the river
 3. The path up the mountairn
 2
 The path follows the river until it
 gets to an old decrepit wooden
 bridge. You decide to
 1. chance crossing the bridge
 2. Continue down the path
 3. Stop to fish
 3
 You stand in the water and
 stab your sword randomly into
 the river. The fish do not seem
 impressed. As you contimplate
 your life descisions you hear
 footsteps in the water behind
 you.
 1. run away
 2. Turn around and draw your
 sword
 3. Dive into the water
 3
 Without looking you dive
 straight into the deeper parts of
 the river. It's much colder than
 you expected and youre swept
 away by the strong current. You
 just manage to surface and keep
 your head above water
 1. Swim towards the Riverbank
 2. Accept your fate
 You manage to get to the
 edge of the bank and grab
 onto a rock, you use the last of
 your strength to pull yourseltf
 out of the freezing river, your
 frostbitten limbs barely working
 You lay face down on the grass
 by the river, as you slowly loose
 conciousness and everything
 fades to black..
 when you wake up you hear
 the sound of horse shoes
 clopping and the sound of
 wooden wheels hitting rocks.
 When your eyes start working
 agian you see that your in the
 back of a horse drawn wagon.
 You see a man sat opposite you
 in handcuffs, with long blonde
 hair and a messy beard. He
 notices you're awake and says
 Hey you, you're finaly awake
 You were trying to cross the
 border right? Walked right into
 that Imperial ambush same as us
 and that thief over there"
Tinder RPG

Tinder RPG

Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston Arthur More Organ Holland Hoseas Before Broseas swagalicious crunchy outside, self-deprecating chewy center - "how many licks does it take the squad's favorite disaster scrappy damsel squares up at a moment's notice can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression" goth jock dropout just wants to settle down - - dumbest smart person alive - denies being moe - "wanna know how I got these scars- wait where are you going" - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break - "Actually, correlation is not causation" - thinks they're charming, is actually charming - constantly forgets their age - "back in my day - only one who knows what the fuck they're talking about incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up - one shot, one kill - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes" - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody - productive procrastinator can never hold down a relationship - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions" - jokes hit too close to home - Good bad influence - weed friend Make It Work Guy Fieri Will Billiamson Bad Santa -always knows what to play at a party - adopts everyone on sight - great with kids, great with animals, wants to hold your baby - scientific evidence good girls want bad boys - tsundere - burns salads - "have you eaten today" - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun - professional alcoholic - always needs to borrow money - terrible drunk, never remembers what happened that night walks around the house in their underwear gives great hugs needs seven showers group's unexpected therapist patronus is secondhand embarrassment just wants to be part of the family "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"* is the party cultured, well-traveled and stylish; made for Instagram - *gestures to all of you* "we need to do something about this" - always starts drama, yet always seems to avoid it bad taste in literally everything, banned from recommending outings - will always have squad's back iron constitution, never gets sick - "say that to my fucking face" - may seem Mad, is actually Sad petty *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single starts the day with horoscope readings - Chaotic Loyal black coffee, leaves t" FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh) Bastard Millennial Green Hat McGuy "join team chat" - fashionable at all times, even when going to the grocery store can't do crime if you ain't cute -only dates fictional men won't leave the house for days need lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor too nice for own good living boke and tsukkomi routine to shut up yesterday social interaction, naps for ten years it's basic hygiene and laying beneath the stars -"please stop talking" exhausted after two minutes of maybe they're born with it, maybe soft spot for animals, slow dancing cooler than you . living proof the scariest people frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion come in the nicest packages graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again" nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive every day is roast session day - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them, I'll roast me fuckin' self" - Has never completed No Nut November sings in the shower - adores Linkin Park late - "are you ready yet" "almost" - allergic to idiots Adam Sandler Regina O'George Let Me Speak To Your Manager - retired mom friend, back from retirement ages every time someone references a vine instead of responding normally - smokes sixty packs a day Goof Troop social norms are for dweebs just wants to play videogames - No Drama? No ProblemTM -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To Be Toppled From Throne" - loses shit over small things -THIS close to cutting someone and snack in peace shoves people in lockers to show affection forgets not to swear in front of other never forgets a birthday shaped like a friend only one in squad who can cook only one in squad who can drive people's children the queen of throwing down "fuck, sorry about that" given up on romance savwy businessowner resident gossip big problems are Whatever - needs therapy - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing To Love' And 'Before He Cheats' common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies - a matryoshka of pain - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck knows Wicked by heart - only one in squad who does taxes Songs Are unforgiveable weeb - villain origin story is that stubborn chin hair that keeps growing back - always says 'gg' after every game incredible skin care regimen - "just drink more water" award winning sailor mouth - Big Hair, Don't Care "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182 World's Saddest Violin Bullshit Magician Expletive Noises Looks like a million dollars, is probably worth a million dollars - family person, loves everybody keeps Twitter on private - meows back at their cat - extroverted introvert -feels guilty for not logging into Animal Crossing for nine months thinks existence is kind of funny invented the word 'dapper - the living embodiment of when you try your best but you don't succeed' - just wants to be loved and cherished -great with animals, never scratched the life of the party, when they're not launching into drunken diatribes -smartest smart person alive -stays up until three in the morning thinking about the meaning of life - an essential addition to any squad - reads at 10,000 miles per hour wants to stab Banksy hates stan culture hoards comfort food beneath their desk gets sentimental over their Neopets used to hoard Beanie Babies - hates answering the phone - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms - needs more friends - stylish drunk with two hollow legs - never fails to speak their mind great at impressions -not-so-secretly depressed - regularly confuses main for private "just forget I said that haha" preserves their right hook for justice - stared into the void, got bored quotes movies when provoked - "That's just, like, your opinion, man." the most perfect teeth Baby Boy...Baby Talk Shit, Get Hit Mr. Krabs A Dog - soft outside, softer inside - never ashamed to cry - weak spot for pups, needs to pet every dog they see -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate needs to seriously reconsider things trolling game out of control A dog - never seems to accumulate debt, also never tips the waiter took college prep in high school - can't fight to save their life - surprisingly terrifying comebacks - multilingual gg ez clap" oves Bon Iver, Death Grips and Beyonce equally - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob workplace's local kissass likes to give gifts to sad friends living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies home life is a mess - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms to take one - adopted by everybody - "Oh, I won't report you...yet" believes they were born in the wrong era - has never yelled once - in love with the smell of old books - wishes on stars when no one's looking leaves breadcrumbs in butter a well-rounded tool - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind." champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis  I am all of these yet none of them at the same time
Adam Sandler, Alive, and Animals: Johnny Boy 'limbo', Marston
 Arthur More Organ
 Holland
 Hoseas Before Broseas
 swagalicious crunchy outside,
 self-deprecating chewy center
 - "how many licks does it take
 the squad's favorite disaster
 scrappy damsel
 squares up at a moment's notice
 can never seem to get their shit together to get to the center of my depression"
 goth jock dropout just wants to settle down -
 - dumbest smart person alive
 - denies being moe
 - "wanna know how I got these scars-
 wait where are you going"
 - makes 50+ post twitter threads nobody reads just needs a break
 - "Actually, correlation is not causation"
 - thinks they're charming, is actually charming
 - constantly forgets their age
 - "back in my day
 - only one who knows what
 the fuck they're talking about
 incredible artist, thinks their stuff is 'okay' still needs to shut the fuck up
 - one shot, one kill
 - "once I go viral it's over for you hoes"
 - has a 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' welcome mat-liked by practically everybody
 - productive procrastinator
 can never hold down a relationship
 - Instant Uncle, Just Add Baby
 suffers from chronic pushover syndrome "no questions, dammit, no questions"
 - jokes hit too close to home
 - Good bad influence
 - weed friend
 Make It Work
 Guy Fieri
 Will Billiamson
 Bad Santa
 -always knows what to play at a party
 - adopts everyone on sight
 - great with kids, great with animals,
 wants to hold your baby
 - scientific evidence good girls
 want bad boys
 - tsundere
 - burns salads
 - "have you eaten today"
 - owns etsy account, too busy to make anything - punches self for fun
 - professional alcoholic
 - always needs to borrow money
 - terrible drunk, never remembers
 what happened that night
 walks around the house in their underwear
 gives great hugs
 needs seven showers
 group's unexpected therapist
 patronus is secondhand embarrassment
 just wants to be part of the family
 "MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S! MCDONALD'S!"*
 is the party
 cultured, well-traveled and stylish;
 made for Instagram
 - *gestures to all of you* "we need
 to do something about this"
 - always starts drama, yet always
 seems to avoid it
 bad taste in literally everything,
 banned from recommending outings
 - will always have squad's back
 iron constitution, never gets sick
 - "say that to my fucking face"
 - may seem Mad, is actually Sad
 petty
 *pulls up in drive-thru, orders single
 starts the day with horoscope readings
 - Chaotic Loyal
 black coffee, leaves

 t"
 FUCKS.EXE STOPPED WORKING 'mSorry Ms. Jackson tOh)
 Bastard Millennial
 Green Hat McGuy
 "join team chat"
 - fashionable at all times, even when
 going to the grocery store
 can't do crime if you ain't cute
 -only dates fictional men
 won't leave the house for days need
 lives on cow tales and TVTropes says they can hold their liquor
 regularly tells squad to hydrate can't actually hold their liquor
 too nice for own good
 living boke and tsukkomi routine
 to shut up yesterday
 social interaction, naps for ten years
 it's basic hygiene
 and laying beneath the stars
 -"please stop talking"
 exhausted after two minutes of
 maybe they're born with it, maybe
 soft spot for animals, slow dancing
 cooler than you
 . living proof the scariest people
 frat brotryhard nerd gem fusion
 come in the nicest packages
 graceful loser, even more graceful winner - "what day is it again"
 nobody sees clapbacks coming until it's never learned how to drive
 every day is roast session day
 - "I'll roast you, I'll roast them,
 I'll roast me fuckin' self"
 - Has never completed No Nut November
 sings in the shower
 - adores Linkin Park
 late
 - "are you ready yet" "almost"
 - allergic to idiots
 Adam Sandler
 Regina O'George
 Let Me Speak To Your Manager
 - retired mom friend, back from retirement
 ages every time someone references
 a vine instead of responding normally
 - smokes sixty packs a day
 Goof Troop
 social norms are for dweebs
 just wants to play videogames
 - No Drama? No ProblemTM
 -"Local Mean Girl Refuses To
 Be Toppled From Throne"
 - loses shit over small things
 -THIS close to cutting someone
 and snack in peace
 shoves people in lockers to show affection
 forgets not to swear in front of other
 never forgets a birthday
 shaped like a friend
 only one in squad who can cook
 only one in squad who can drive
 people's children
 the queen of throwing down
 "fuck, sorry about that"
 given up on romance
 savwy businessowner
 resident gossip
 big problems are Whatever
 - needs therapy
 - Favorite Songs Are 'Find Me Somebody- smells amazing
 To Love' And 'Before He Cheats'
 common sense frequently left on read - hasn't seen most popular movies
 - a matryoshka of pain
 - wishes you didn't look like a dump truck
 knows Wicked by heart
 - only one in squad who does taxes
 Songs Are
 unforgiveable weeb
 - villain origin story is that stubborn
 chin hair that keeps growing back
 - always says 'gg' after every game
 incredible skin care regimen
 - "just drink more water"
 award winning sailor mouth
 - Big Hair, Don't Care

 "What's My Age Again" by Blink 182
 World's Saddest Violin
 Bullshit Magician
 Expletive Noises
 Looks like a million dollars, is probably
 worth a million dollars
 - family person, loves everybody
 keeps Twitter on private
 - meows back at their cat
 - extroverted introvert
 -feels guilty for not logging into
 Animal Crossing for nine months
 thinks existence is kind of funny
 invented the word 'dapper
 - the living embodiment of when
 you try your best but you don't succeed'
 - just wants to be loved and cherished
 -great with animals, never scratched
 the life of the party, when they're
 not launching into drunken diatribes
 -smartest smart person alive
 -stays up until three in the morning
 thinking about the meaning of life
 - an essential addition to any squad
 - reads at 10,000 miles per hour
 wants to stab Banksy
 hates stan culture
 hoards comfort food beneath their desk
 gets sentimental over their Neopets
 used to hoard Beanie Babies
 - hates answering the phone
 - silently lurks in Twitch chatrooms
 - needs more friends
 - stylish drunk with two hollow legs
 - never fails to speak their mind
 great at impressions
 -not-so-secretly depressed
 - regularly confuses main for private
 "just forget I said that haha"
 preserves their right hook for justice
 - stared into the void, got bored
 quotes movies when provoked
 - "That's just, like, your opinion, man."
 the most perfect teeth
 Baby Boy...Baby
 Talk Shit, Get Hit
 Mr. Krabs
 A Dog
 - soft outside, softer inside
 - never ashamed to cry
 - weak spot for pups, needs
 to pet every dog they see
 -only one of the squad that's been punched squad's resident cheapskate
 needs to seriously reconsider things
 trolling game out of control
 A dog
 - never seems to accumulate debt,
 also never tips the waiter
 took college prep in high school
 - can't fight to save their life
 - surprisingly terrifying comebacks
 - multilingual
 gg ez clap"
 oves Bon Iver, Death Grips
 and Beyonce equally
 - Kappa Kappa KappaRoss CoolStoryBob
 workplace's local kissass
 likes to give gifts to sad friends
 living embodiment of a flower crown talks during movies
 home life is a mess
 - needs a vacation, too self-conscious - doesn't flush toilets in public bathrooms
 to take one
 - adopted by everybody
 - "Oh, I won't report you...yet"
 believes they were born in the wrong era
 - has never yelled once
 - in love with the smell of old books
 - wishes on stars when no one's looking
 leaves breadcrumbs in butter
 a well-rounded tool
 - nobody knows why they keep getting invited"Poverty is a state of mind."
champagnesuperhoeva:
red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs
tag your chronic pain, tag your panic attacks, tag your existential crisis 


I am all of these yet none of them at the same time

champagnesuperhoeva: red dead redemption 2 tag yourself masterpost now all in one spot for your convenient bullshit needs tag your chronic p...

Books, Facts, and Target: In ancient Egypt, any books found in ships coming into port, would be brought immediately to the library of Alexandria and be copied. The original would be kept in the library and the copy given back to the owner. Ultrafacts.tumblr.com jaksandrow: pinstripebones: lesbiananglerfish: thinkphrontistery: zzazu: hot-tea-nanako: theonewhosawitall: nerdgirl-to-the-rescue: ohmygil: ultrafacts: aussietory: third-way-is-best-way: tuxedoandex: kvotheunkvothe: ultrafacts: Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY. but why Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever. The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays, important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world. That graphic grinds my gears every time I see it romans. Julius Caesar to be precise  Remember this when you’re conquering. Keep the books. THIS HURTS MY HEART SO MUCH EVERY TIME ITS BROUGHT UP Julius Caesar needs to be stabbed for this I know we should totally stab Caesar Does March 15th sound good for everyone?? hey everyone, guess what day it is
Books, Facts, and Target: In ancient Egypt, any books found
 in ships coming into port, would be
 brought immediately to the library of
 Alexandria and be copied. The
 original would be kept in the library
 and the copy given back to the
 owner.
 Ultrafacts.tumblr.com
jaksandrow:
pinstripebones:

lesbiananglerfish:

thinkphrontistery:

zzazu:

hot-tea-nanako:

theonewhosawitall:

nerdgirl-to-the-rescue:

ohmygil:

ultrafacts:

aussietory:

third-way-is-best-way:

tuxedoandex:

kvotheunkvothe:

ultrafacts:

Source For more facts follow Ultrafacts

EVERY TIME SOMEONE BRINGS UP THE LIBRARY OF ALEXANDRIA I GET SO ANGRY.

but why

Because it got burned. All of that knowledge, lost forever.



The library was destroyed over 1000’s of years ago. The library consisted of thousands of scrolls and books about mathematics, engineering, physiology, geography, blueprints, medicine, plays,  important scriptures. Thinkers from all over the Mediterranean used to come to Alexandria to study.Most of the major work of civilization up until that point was lost. If the library still survived till this day, society may have been more advanced and we would sure know more about the ancient world.

That graphic grinds my gears every time I see it



romans.


Julius Caesar to be precise 

Remember this when you’re conquering. Keep the books.

THIS HURTS MY HEART SO MUCH EVERY TIME ITS BROUGHT UP

Julius Caesar needs to be stabbed for this

I know we should totally stab Caesar

Does March 15th sound good for everyone??

hey everyone, guess what day it is

jaksandrow: pinstripebones: lesbiananglerfish: thinkphrontistery: zzazu: hot-tea-nanako: theonewhosawitall: nerdgirl-to-the-rescue: o...

Children, Club, and Dad: Cheko reacted quickly when he saw his owner get threatend with a knife in a domestic dispute, he dived in front of his mom to protect her. Here he is shown recovering from being stabbed 13 times. Four intruders, one armed with a shotgun broke into a family home where the father was threatened to open the family safe, when the dad of 3 didn't comply the indruder got ready to open fire where Lefty the pit bull jumped at him blocking the shot from his daddy and got a bullet wound to his shoulder. The intruder was injured by the dog and they all quickly fled from the scene. Baby, a 10 year old pit bull woke up her family in the middle of the night to alert them of a blazing fire that had broken out. Managing to avoid the vicious flames, one by one she woke up each family member and led them to safty. After putting her humans out of danger, she then ran back into the burning house to save the family's other five dogs, one of which was blind and too scared to go with her so she pulled the dog out by the scruff of the neck. The home was completely distroyed but thanks to Baby, no-one had a single burn. Cara was walking her dog, Creature one night and couldn't help but notice he had a lot of interest in a certain bush. Shrugging it of as he's just seen a cat, Creature carried on to pull and bark to alert his owner that something wasn't quite right. Cara finally went with her companions instinct and decided to check it out, where she found an elderly woman in her PJs on the ground, shivering from the cold. Who she found was Carmen Mitchell, 89, suffers from Alzheimer's and had wandered from her home. When Bella the pit bull mix was seen running into traffic and barking at pedestrians, she was thought to be just another stray. Teri was one of those pedestrians and decided the follow the mixed breed. Bella lead Teri to her home, where her wheelchair-bound owner was found on the floor with stab wounds in his neck while clinging to life. Her owner luckily survived and says that he owes his life to Bella for running to get help. I made this comp because the media only concerntrates on the badly-owned pit bulls then blame their breed for it for their actions. There's hundreds of stories about heroic pit bulls that saidly never make it to mainstream media as people seem to love an outrage. If this gets a good reaction then i'll put more up but i don't want to bore anyone for now. I have a pit bull who i took from a dog fighter when he was a puppy, even though he's been 'bred to fight' i've raised him right and in the 11 years of having him he's never hurt anyone and has given me nothing but happiness (and maybe a couple of chewed up shoes) Thanks for reading guys, i hope the world is a little more open- minded on this misunderstood yet lovable breed. malicemanaged: almostrose: helainetieu: I hope everyone reblogs this. For most of the 114 years since the American pitbull terrier was first recognized by the United Kennel Club, the breed was rightly seen as the perfect “nanny dog” for children because of its friendly nature, loyalty and stability. [x] Pit bulls have always been protectors. With good owners and proper care, they still are. Chako*, Lefty, Baby, Creature, and Bela are proof of that. Pitbulls are great dogs and anyone who says otherwise can fucking fight me
Children, Club, and Dad: Cheko reacted quickly when he saw his
 owner get threatend with a knife in a
 domestic dispute, he dived in front of his
 mom to protect her. Here he is shown
 recovering from being stabbed 13 times.
 Four intruders, one armed with a
 shotgun broke into a family home
 where the father was threatened to
 open the family safe, when the dad of
 3 didn't comply the indruder got
 ready to open fire where Lefty the pit
 bull jumped at him blocking the shot
 from his daddy and got a bullet wound
 to his shoulder. The intruder was injured
 by the dog and they all quickly fled from
 the scene.

 Baby, a 10 year old pit bull woke up her
 family in the middle of the night to alert
 them of a blazing fire that had broken
 out. Managing to avoid the vicious
 flames, one by one she woke up each
 family member and led them to safty.
 After putting her humans out of
 danger, she then ran back into the
 burning house to save the family's
 other five dogs, one of which was blind
 and too scared to go with her so she
 pulled the dog out by the scruff of the
 neck. The home was completely
 distroyed but thanks to Baby, no-one
 had a single burn.
 Cara was walking her dog, Creature one
 night and couldn't help but notice he
 had a lot of interest in a certain bush.
 Shrugging it of as he's just seen a cat,
 Creature carried on to pull and bark to
 alert his owner that something wasn't
 quite right. Cara finally went with her
 companions instinct and decided to
 check it out, where she found an
 elderly woman in her PJs on the
 ground, shivering from the cold. Who
 she found was Carmen Mitchell, 89,
 suffers from Alzheimer's and had
 wandered from her home.

 When Bella the pit bull mix was seen
 running into traffic and barking at
 pedestrians, she was thought to be just
 another stray. Teri was one of those
 pedestrians and decided the follow the
 mixed breed. Bella lead Teri to her
 home, where her wheelchair-bound
 owner was found on the floor with
 stab wounds in his neck while clinging
 to life. Her owner luckily survived and
 says that he owes his life to Bella for
 running to get help.
 I made this comp because the media only
 concerntrates on the badly-owned pit
 bulls then blame their breed for it for
 their actions. There's hundreds of stories
 about heroic pit bulls that saidly never
 make it to mainstream media as people
 seem to love an outrage. If this gets a
 good reaction then i'll put more up but i
 don't want to bore anyone for now.
 I have a pit bull who i took from a dog
 fighter when he was a puppy, even
 though he's been 'bred to fight' i've
 raised him right and in the 11 years of
 having him he's never hurt anyone and
 has given me nothing but happiness (and
 maybe a couple of chewed up shoes)
 Thanks for reading guys, i hope
 the world is a little more open-
 minded on this misunderstood
 yet lovable breed.
malicemanaged:
almostrose:

helainetieu:

I hope everyone reblogs this.


For most of the 114 years since the American pitbull terrier was first recognized by the United Kennel Club, the breed was rightly seen as the perfect “nanny dog” for children because of its friendly nature, loyalty and stability. [x]
Pit bulls have always been protectors. With good owners and proper care, they still are. Chako*, Lefty, Baby, Creature, and Bela are proof of that.


Pitbulls are great dogs and anyone who says otherwise can fucking fight me

malicemanaged: almostrose: helainetieu: I hope everyone reblogs this. For most of the 114 years since the American pitbull terrier was f...