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Fresh, Reddit, and Shower: You avoided it at all costs. You showered three times a day. You washed your hands and face after every meal You stayed inside, away from the beating sun and omnipresent moisture You wormed away from every occasion that involved a greasy meal. You couldn't stand it. One day, you woke up in a bed that was oozing You were relieved when you realized you didn't soil yourself. You were horrified when you realized you were soaking in a bed of your own sweat. You scrambled for the shower. You ignored the split splat noises your feet made as you rushedc You turned the faucet, and let the refreshing water wash over you. It wasn't enough. The grease was still in every pore and every fold of your body. You grab the soap and start scrubbing. And scrubbing. And scrubbing. It's surprisingly easy Skin gives way to fat, which gives way to bone. All the lard and cholesterol melts, slips between your fingers, and disappears down the drain in a soapy slurry But it isn't enough. You don't stop, even as the shower floor gains a fresh coat of gunk. It's on you. It's on you and it's staining you and it' s in you and it is you and it won't come off. You start scraping, scraping, trying to get it off. You reach deep inside. First, it's like trying to peel bark off of a tree. Then, it feels like grating a block of wax. Finally, it starts melting under the torrent of shower water. Curdles of osseous matter drift down into the floor and into the flood. Every last bit of you disappears into the drain Finally, you're clean [Src]
Fresh, Reddit, and Shower: You avoided it at all costs. You showered three times a day.
 You washed your hands and face after every meal
 You stayed inside, away from the beating sun
 and omnipresent moisture
 You wormed away from every occasion
 that involved a greasy meal. You couldn't stand it.
 One day, you woke up in a bed that was oozing
 You were relieved when you realized you didn't soil yourself.
 You were horrified when you realized you were soaking
 in a bed of your own sweat. You scrambled for the shower.
 You ignored the split splat noises your feet made as you rushedc
 You turned the faucet,
 and let the refreshing water wash over you.
 It wasn't enough. The grease was still in every pore and every
 fold of your body. You grab the soap and start scrubbing.
 And scrubbing. And scrubbing. It's surprisingly easy
 Skin gives way to fat, which gives way to bone.
 All the lard and cholesterol melts, slips between your fingers,
 and disappears down the drain in a soapy slurry
 But it isn't enough. You don't stop, even as the shower floor
 gains a fresh coat of gunk.
 It's on you. It's on you and it's staining you and it' s in you and
 it is you and it won't come off. You start scraping, scraping,
 trying to get it off. You reach deep inside. First, it's like trying
 to peel bark off of a tree. Then, it feels like grating a block of wax.
 Finally, it starts melting under the torrent of shower water.
 Curdles of osseous matter drift down into the floor and into the
 flood. Every last bit of you disappears into the drain
 Finally, you're clean
[Src]

[Src]

Bless Up, Gucci, and Gucci Mane: Oh my gosh I l II @Dr Smashlove Ooh Bruh she fancy. I call her Alexandra Victoria McFloofyfluff the 14th of Strasbourg u feel me? Alexa for short. Alexa only drink coffee if it's a single origin coffee bean. Alexa got that extremely expensive soap pumper in her shower and u showering there nervous AF like "I don't see a bar of soap, all I see is this fancy shit and I'm a soapy type of dude but I'm afraid imma waste it so I gotta be hella judicious with her L'Occitane soap pumper when I'm scrubbing my PP so I don't offend her by depleting half of this $25 bottle 馃槴." U feel me Bruh? Alexa got a record player. Like u step out the shower and she playing a rare jazz record and u trying not to look unimpressive because u mainly only listen to Gucci Mane and 21 Savage so u like "wow this is a nice vibe ... I like ... jazz ... music" and u praying to God like "please Allah don't let her test my Jazz knowledge ion know shit about it" an she just like "yeah this is Duke [Ellington - but she just call him Duke] at C么te d'Azur. This is a rare hi fi recording. I had to fly to Paris to find this in a record store there. Worth it." And u just like "I have clearly had sex with someone 78x cooler than me idk how I got in this situation but imma mainly shut up so I don't say anything uncool and then get deleted-blocked. Imma lay this pipe with sincerity and focus and hope my uncoolness remain hidden" 馃槀. Shout to u Alexa. U real fancy. I fucks with your aesthetic. Upgrade me. Have me wearing slim fit APC jeans, my body is ready (ayeeee not too slim tho - this dangalang gotta breathe ya get me! Bless up 馃槏馃槀馃槀馃槀)
Bless Up, Gucci, and Gucci Mane: Oh my gosh
 I l II
 @Dr Smashlove
Ooh Bruh she fancy. I call her Alexandra Victoria McFloofyfluff the 14th of Strasbourg u feel me? Alexa for short. Alexa only drink coffee if it's a single origin coffee bean. Alexa got that extremely expensive soap pumper in her shower and u showering there nervous AF like "I don't see a bar of soap, all I see is this fancy shit and I'm a soapy type of dude but I'm afraid imma waste it so I gotta be hella judicious with her L'Occitane soap pumper when I'm scrubbing my PP so I don't offend her by depleting half of this $25 bottle 馃槴." U feel me Bruh? Alexa got a record player. Like u step out the shower and she playing a rare jazz record and u trying not to look unimpressive because u mainly only listen to Gucci Mane and 21 Savage so u like "wow this is a nice vibe ... I like ... jazz ... music" and u praying to God like "please Allah don't let her test my Jazz knowledge ion know shit about it" an she just like "yeah this is Duke [Ellington - but she just call him Duke] at C么te d'Azur. This is a rare hi fi recording. I had to fly to Paris to find this in a record store there. Worth it." And u just like "I have clearly had sex with someone 78x cooler than me idk how I got in this situation but imma mainly shut up so I don't say anything uncool and then get deleted-blocked. Imma lay this pipe with sincerity and focus and hope my uncoolness remain hidden" 馃槀. Shout to u Alexa. U real fancy. I fucks with your aesthetic. Upgrade me. Have me wearing slim fit APC jeans, my body is ready (ayeeee not too slim tho - this dangalang gotta breathe ya get me! Bless up 馃槏馃槀馃槀馃槀)

Ooh Bruh she fancy. I call her Alexandra Victoria McFloofyfluff the 14th of Strasbourg u feel me? Alexa for short. Alexa only drink coffee i...