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so long: relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremember: every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them. Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes. Update: I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour. I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF Update: After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow! You are the future As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks. Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins? ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit vive la resistance Chaotic Good
so long: relyonloveonceinawhile:
whoopsrobots:

equilateralwaffle:

kotsuso:

sophygurl:

blindly-nostalgic:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

itseasytoremember:

every day the same telemarketing company calls us. I’ve asked to be taken off their calling list, I’ve tried to be civil, I’ve even tried to not answer the phone, yet they’ll keep calling. So now I’ve resorted to making the phones calls as annoying as possible for them.
Today I asked the person to hold while I got a pen and paper. As of now, they’ve been waiting 45 minutes.

Update:
I just asked him if he was still there, then when he said yes i told him i had found a pen but no paper, but that i’m still looking. It’s been an hour.

I HAVE LITERALLY BEEN ON TUMBLR AND YOUTUBE WHILE THIS GUY WAITS. IT’S BEEN ALMOST AN HOUR AND A HALF

Update:
After an hour and 35 minutes I told him that i had found paper, but my pen was dead. He hung up. Ah well, i’ll just do it again tomorrow!

You are the future

As a former telemarketer, I can tell you that the only reason that guy hung on the line for so long was because he didn’t really want to make any more calls anyway and was probably reading a book or chatting with friends while you pretended to find paper and pen. He was enjoying your mischief as much, if not more, than you were. You literally gave this guy an acceptable reason to take an hour and a half break. You are his hero. He likely only finally hung up because it was officially his break time anyway. He probably told all his co-workers about your call and they’ll be laughing about it for weeks.

Holy shit, is this a happy ending to a post where everybody actually wins?

ACTUALLY YES because according to parental unit number one, telemarketers get paid by how long they’re on the phone with someone. so you were literally helping this friend get paid by doing absolutely shit

vive la resistance

Chaotic Good

relyonloveonceinawhile: whoopsrobots: equilateralwaffle: kotsuso: sophygurl: blindly-nostalgic: itseasytoremember: itseasytoremembe...

so long: babyanimalgifs: When you haven’t seen your friend in so long (via)
so long: babyanimalgifs:

When you haven’t seen your friend in so long (via)

babyanimalgifs: When you haven’t seen your friend in so long (via)

so long: So long my hot chin ling
so long: So long my hot chin ling

So long my hot chin ling

so long: People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long
so long: People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long

People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long

so long: People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long by ajaz1233 MORE MEMES
so long: People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long by ajaz1233
MORE MEMES

People with glasses have immense focus to be staring at something for so long by ajaz1233 MORE MEMES

so long: Why it takes so long to send an email
so long: Why it takes so long to send an email

Why it takes so long to send an email

so long: So long, my friend
so long: So long, my friend

So long, my friend

so long: Seemed so long ago
so long: Seemed so long ago

Seemed so long ago

so long: stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡
so long: stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡

stella-minerva:I haven’t drawn anything Arcana in so long so I had to do smth for my lovebirds ♡

so long: These jokes have been dead for so long, why are people trying to bring them back?
so long: These jokes have been dead for so long, why are people trying to bring them back?

These jokes have been dead for so long, why are people trying to bring them back?

so long: timetravelinghanyou:Ooc: quick sketch done after work. Guh my back is aching from sitting still so long.
so long: timetravelinghanyou:Ooc: quick sketch done after work. Guh my back is aching from sitting still so long.

timetravelinghanyou:Ooc: quick sketch done after work. Guh my back is aching from sitting still so long.

so long: I found this meme in my camera roll from so long ago and I fucking love it.
so long: I found this meme in my camera roll from so long ago and I fucking love it.

I found this meme in my camera roll from so long ago and I fucking love it.

so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times. #cats #funnycats 3catmemes #cutecats #caturday #animalmemes
so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times. #cats #funnycats 3catmemes #cutecats #caturday #animalmemes

Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times. #cats #funnycats 3catmemes #cutecats #caturday #animalmemes

so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times.#caturday #funnycats 3catmemes #caturdaymemes #funnymemes #animalmemes #catphotos #catgifs
so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times.#caturday #funnycats 3catmemes #caturdaymemes #funnymemes #animalmemes #catphotos #catgifs

Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago... Such good times.#caturday #funnycats 3catmemes #caturdaymemes #funnymemes #animalmemes #catp...

so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago...But there's no reason why we shouldn't bring some of Caturday magic to today! #cats #catmemes #funnycats #funnymemes #animalmemes
so long: Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago...But there's no reason why we shouldn't bring some of Caturday magic to today! #cats #catmemes #funnycats #funnymemes #animalmemes

Remember Caturday? Seems like so long ago...But there's no reason why we shouldn't bring some of Caturday magic to today! #cats #catmemes...

so long: It has been so long partner
so long: It has been so long partner

It has been so long partner

so long: tuungstenn: its been so long since he laughed he didnt even remember he did that!!!she is now determined to make him laugh as much as possible 
so long: tuungstenn:

its been so long since he laughed he didnt even remember he did that!!!she is now determined to make him laugh as much as possible 

tuungstenn: its been so long since he laughed he didnt even remember he did that!!!she is now determined to make him laugh as much as po...

so long: Made this myself in welding, took so long to make
so long: Made this myself in welding, took so long to make

Made this myself in welding, took so long to make

so long: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality or Preparing for the End or Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm Stuck Dealing With This Mess ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN. HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS. Featuring Helpful Sections such as: Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and how to get them Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone What the Everloving Fuck is Probate Some Simple Dos and Don’ts Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and Memorials How to plan a non-religious death party So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some shit This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death. I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together. Good luck! (in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit) @ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission. YES, please share it! And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died. You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK. I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate. But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap. This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.
so long: So You're Confronting Your Own Mortality
 or
 Preparing for the End
 or
 Some Dipshit Up and Died and Now I'm
 Stuck Dealing With This Mess
ms-demeanor:

ms-demeanor:
ms-demeanor:


jhinnua:

ms-demeanor:

Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of bullshit you need to do when someone you love dies? I actually did that.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH LOTS OF SWEARING AT THE USELESS, SHITTY SITUATION YOU’RE IN.
HERE IS THE VERSION WITH A FAIR AMOUNT OF BLACK HUMOR BUT NO CURSEWORDS.
Featuring Helpful Sections such as: 
Death Certificates – What you need, why you need them, and
how to get them
Prepare to spend a long and miserable time on the phone
What the Everloving Fuck is Probate
Some Simple Dos and Don’ts
Shitty Mad Libs – Templates for writing Obituaries and
Memorials
How to plan a non-religious death party
So you suddenly have to become some sort of hacker or some
shit

This is an eighteen page book that you can print out, download, share, and give away; it is meant to be used to collect information about funeral planning and account management after a death OR you can use it BEFORE you die and give people information so they’re not stuck playing Nancy Fucking Drew while trying to keep seventeen cousins who crawled out of the woodwork from gutting each other in front of the fucking casket as they argue about who’s inheriting grandma’s favorite dentures. 
It’s not exactly cheerful and it’s full of things that are probably going to feel really fucking raw if you’re processing a fresh death.
I’m sorry! I love you! Death is shitty! I’m trying to laugh about it a little and I hope you can laugh a little too because otherwise we’re all just going to cry together.
Good luck!
(in memory of my weirdo mother and her weirdo siblings who all died too fucking young and left me holding this flaming bag of dogshit)


@ms-demeanor Tumblr wont let me message you privately, so is it ok if I share this to my FB page? The business I am in wants information like this to be public knowledge, but it’s still a business so I don’t want to post without permission.

YES, please share it!
And actually facebook blocks links to my blog for some reason so I have no problem with you just straight-up copy/pasting the PDF links! Credit me if you want (”@ms-demeanor on tumblr” is fine) but you don’t even have to. Just share it and spread it I want people to have an easier time of things! I’m universally  OK if people share these links so long as you’re not selling the booklet. I’m actually even okay if someone prints up a bunch of these and hands them out so long as they’re handed out for free. 


Also I want to make this point: I was very lucky. I had talked to my mom about her death plans and she and my dad have had their cremations planned and paid for for 25 years (Neptune Society baybee). I got lucky, we had talked about a book like this and she had started writing down passwords. I got lucky, she never took my advice about putting a passcode on her phone. 
But things were still harder than they needed to be. We’d talked about a death planning workbook because I’d found one on Amazon and we both thought it would be a good idea to fill it out because she was sick. 
I just never scrounged together $26.00 in the time between when we talked about it and when she died.
You know what’s better than regretting that you couldn’t afford a death workbook? A FREE DEATH WORKBOOK.
I mean, I don’t begrudge the authors of other death books their pay. I’m sure the other books are more comprehensive than mine and maybe some of them do a decent job of explaining probate.
But death is expensive and living ain’t cheap.
This is free explicitly because there are tons of people (though certainly not everyone involved) who will bypass compassion in order to profit off of the death industry and I want you to have at least this one thing that’s there for you free, as a gift, as something given to you for the sole purpose of making this easier on you in a time when every step is going to be expensive and difficult. 
This is free, no charge. All I ask is that, if possible, you share it with someone else who needs it and that you tell somebody you love that you love them. 

Hey all if you’re new here because of the firefox post or the browser wars post or the bastardous positivity post please consider downloading the free book I made about what to do when someone dies because you know what this is sad and shit but things are going to be much easier for you if you know the level of bullshit you’re going to be dealing with.

ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: ms-demeanor: jhinnua: ms-demeanor: Hey you know how I said I was going to make a workbook on the kind of b...

so long: a togand toad-are-triends My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that in canonically takes place in a train postapocalypse where the island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian dysnopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and their body parts are sold or canmbaled for repair If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original books leontroid eenud could you please direct me to a souroei would feel much better if this was validated. frog-and toad-are-friends S It took me so long to find this quote online but i did it because it's so much darker than one might expect from Thomas the Tank Engine Engines on the Other Railway arent sale now. Their controllers are eruel. They dont lke engines any more. They put them on cold damp sidings, and then" Percy nearly sobbed, "Ihey they cecut them up "The Bluebels of England" Stepney the Bluebel Engine. Rex Awdry, Wibert. London Egmont Pubshing 1963. This ilustration, by Gunvor and Peter fidwards, accompanied the above text in the original book, and depicts a pair of unfortunate Cther Railway engines moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch A dainydice HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND THEY TOOK ITS FUCONG FACE OMG trogand toad-are-tiends zidane the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and ilustrations. you watched the show, is ke that in book form. the second hall of the railway series are so fucking dark and sureal im cominced they were a result of reverend wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lad and having hallucinations of his own death. frog-and toad-are-triends Eecuse me but the rery fest story in the Railway Series is about an engine who hides in a turnel and refuses to run because he doesn't want to pet his paint job ruined in the rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel They eventually let him out because another engine breaks down or something, but the original plan was to just leave him in there forever ahulamithbond On the show, didnt they also hook up one engine to a generator, so he'd never move again? That was iterally one of the inesIn, Is on some other post on here. I was chilling frog-and to adare-triends a Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine refemed to only as "No. 2, but the selevision series applied the same scenario to an inwented character named "Smudger", in the episode "Granputf. "Smudges" said Duke Was a show-off. He rode roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to be careful, but he took no notice Usten, Dukie" he snared. "Who wories about a few spils Ha aid, but Smudger lghed Unil one day. Manager said he was going to make him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then" Wwwhy What did he do "He tumed him ito a generator. He's sil there behind our shed. Hell never move again." deducecanse This is so fucked up 4 unclewhisky No, sten Okay, so we see Ralway Management doing all this shit, right, but supposedly ifs so much worse in the Other Ralays?i mea, sure, you might get tumed into generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as yoưre told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts, right? s not so bod on the island of Sodot right? a Or maybe thara just what Rulway Managament warta the engines to think Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime, and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda, kustrated in belish araes and sulfurie vellows,about how ilustrated in helish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways. You are lucky to be an engine of Seder. Railmay Management cares about you Tryst Railway Management. Stay on Your Track. It Could Be So Much Worse. connethepaganangel Wet the fuck is this train based 1984 bulshit Source frogand toad are friends 220440 netes Thomas and his friends
so long: a togand toad-are-triends
 My favorite thing about Thomas the Tank Engine is that in
 canonically takes place in a train postapocalypse where
 the island of Sodor is the only safe zone in a totalitarian
 dysnopia in which steam trains are routinely killed and
 their body parts are sold or canmbaled for repair
 If you think I'm kidding you need to read the original
 books
 leontroid
 eenud
 could you please direct me to a souroei would feel much
 better if this was validated.
 frog-and toad-are-friends
 S
 It took me so long to find this quote online but i did it
 because it's so much darker than one might expect from
 Thomas the Tank Engine
 Engines on the Other Railway arent sale now. Their
 controllers are eruel. They dont lke engines any more.
 They put them on cold damp sidings, and then" Percy
 nearly sobbed, "Ihey they cecut them up
 "The Bluebels of England" Stepney the Bluebel
 Engine. Rex Awdry, Wibert. London Egmont
 Pubshing 1963.
 This ilustration, by Gunvor and Peter fidwards,
 accompanied the above text in the original book, and
 depicts a pair of unfortunate Cther Railway engines
 moments before being disassembled with a blowtorch
 A dainydice
 HOLY FUCK LOOK AT THE ONE IN THE BACKGROUND
 THEY TOOK ITS FUCONG FACE OMG
 trogand toad-are-tiends
 zidane
 the early thomas the tank engine books are pretty
 standard stuff. saccharine bubblegum type stories and
 ilustrations. you watched the show, is ke that in book
 form.
 the second hall of the railway series are so fucking dark
 and sureal im cominced they were a result of reverend
 wilbur awdry doing copious amounts of lad and having
 hallucinations of his own death.
 frog-and toad-are-triends
 Eecuse me but the rery fest story in the Railway Series is
 about an engine who hides in a turnel and refuses to run
 because he doesn't want to pet his paint job ruined in the
 rain, so railway management seals off the tunnel
 They eventually let him out because another engine
 breaks down or something, but the original plan was to
 just leave him in there forever
 ahulamithbond
 On the show, didnt they also hook up one engine to a
 generator, so he'd never move again? That was iterally
 one of the inesIn, Is on some other post on here. I
 was chilling
 frog-and to
 adare-triends
 a
 Yes! This also happened in the books, to an engine
 refemed to only as "No. 2, but the selevision series
 applied the same scenario to an inwented character
 named "Smudger", in the episode "Granputf.
 "Smudges" said Duke Was a show-off. He rode
 roughly and often came off the rails. I warned him to
 be careful, but he took no notice
 Usten, Dukie" he snared. "Who wories about a few
 spils
 Ha aid, but Smudger lghed
 Unil one day. Manager said he was going to make
 him useful at last. Smudger stopped laughing then"
 Wwwhy What did he do
 "He tumed him ito a generator. He's sil there behind
 our shed. Hell never move again."
 deducecanse
 This is so fucked up
 4
 unclewhisky
 No, sten
 Okay, so we see Ralway Management doing all this shit,
 right, but supposedly ifs so much worse in the Other
 Ralays?i mea, sure, you might get tumed into
 generator or bricked into a tunnel for not doing as yoưre
 told, but at least you're not cut up and sold for parts,
 right? s not so bod on the island of Sodot right?
 a
 Or maybe thara just what Rulway Managament warta the
 engines to think
 Maybe the island of Sodor is the real totalitarian regime,
 and the engine citizens (slaves) are fed propaganda,
 kustrated in belish araes and sulfurie vellows,about how
 ilustrated in helish grays and sulfuric yellows, about how
 bad it is everywhere else, at all the Other Railways.
 You are lucky to be an engine of Seder.
 Railmay Management cares about you
 Tryst Railway Management.
 Stay on Your Track.
 It Could Be So Much Worse.
 connethepaganangel
 Wet the fuck is this train based 1984 bulshit
 Source
 frogand toad are friends
 220440 netes
Thomas and his friends

Thomas and his friends