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Be Like, Bless Up, and Bruh: My sister's gentle giant German Shepherd wears a bow tie everywhere because it makes people less intimidated and afraid of him. @DrSmashlove Reddit u/tricksy_trixie Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. I’m talking and u just eyeing me. Scrutinizing me. U feel me? Am I making her mad? Is she disagreeing with me? What is she thinking? I need that. That element of risk. Like u might could reach across the table and break a bottle over my head bruv. That sh!t dangerous to me that’s sexy lol. Scowl at me. U feel me? HANGRY - even tho u just bodied four tacos, a bowl of guac, and a large horchata 😩. I fux with that. And women with RBF do well in business! That’s why women get successful and ppl be like “wow Susan is a bish” NO SHE AINT! SHE JUST GOT SKRONG RBF! “David if you don’t start being reasonable imma stab this pen into your neck. How you gon explain that to ya kids? You could have given us $17,000 more per month for this amazing software but nah. You wanted to die on your sword. Well David, act like a bish you gon DIE LIKE A BISH.” I mean I still remember tryina explain to my mama why my sister crying and my mama already got the chancleta IN HER HAND - RAISED - maybe EEN a wooden spoon in the other - just preparing for that cosmic two-tiered simultaneous SHLAP - SHMACK - CRACK of the spoon handle to end my existence u feel me? “Wow smash what a childhood that explains why you’re like this no wonder.” Ok first of all ...... YES ASF 😂. Y’all could judge my mama all u want to but u can’t have 1-on-1 convo’s with all ya chirren once u have more than three like after that u gotta be efficient and the flip flop - wooden spoon is efficient ASF. All I’m saying is at the end of the day I love my mama and perhaps RBF remind me of her Resting Boutta Whup Dat A$$ Face all I’m saying is for u ladies who are like “MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE THE WORST RBF LIKE HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS”...don’t 😍😂. As Tupac said, “You are appreciated ☺️”. Now none of u extra-a$$ ladies who follow me DM me talmbout “can I ride the Peepington while slapping u with a sandal and breaking wooden spoons on u zaddy ☺️” I told u I ain’t into being dominated! (Nah but DM me tho if u gon do it 🤤🤫) BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Be Like, Bless Up, and Bruh: My sister's gentle giant German Shepherd
 wears a bow tie everywhere because it
 makes people less intimidated and afraid
 of him.
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/tricksy_trixie
Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. I’m talking and u just eyeing me. Scrutinizing me. U feel me? Am I making her mad? Is she disagreeing with me? What is she thinking? I need that. That element of risk. Like u might could reach across the table and break a bottle over my head bruv. That sh!t dangerous to me that’s sexy lol. Scowl at me. U feel me? HANGRY - even tho u just bodied four tacos, a bowl of guac, and a large horchata 😩. I fux with that. And women with RBF do well in business! That’s why women get successful and ppl be like “wow Susan is a bish” NO SHE AINT! SHE JUST GOT SKRONG RBF! “David if you don’t start being reasonable imma stab this pen into your neck. How you gon explain that to ya kids? You could have given us $17,000 more per month for this amazing software but nah. You wanted to die on your sword. Well David, act like a bish you gon DIE LIKE A BISH.” I mean I still remember tryina explain to my mama why my sister crying and my mama already got the chancleta IN HER HAND - RAISED - maybe EEN a wooden spoon in the other - just preparing for that cosmic two-tiered simultaneous SHLAP - SHMACK - CRACK of the spoon handle to end my existence u feel me? “Wow smash what a childhood that explains why you’re like this no wonder.” Ok first of all ...... YES ASF 😂. Y’all could judge my mama all u want to but u can’t have 1-on-1 convo’s with all ya chirren once u have more than three like after that u gotta be efficient and the flip flop - wooden spoon is efficient ASF. All I’m saying is at the end of the day I love my mama and perhaps RBF remind me of her Resting Boutta Whup Dat A$$ Face all I’m saying is for u ladies who are like “MY FRIENDS ALL SAY I HAVE THE WORST RBF LIKE HOW DO I GET RID OF THIS”...don’t 😍😂. As Tupac said, “You are appreciated ☺️”. Now none of u extra-a$$ ladies who follow me DM me talmbout “can I ride the Peepington while slapping u with a sandal and breaking wooden spoons on u zaddy ☺️” I told u I ain’t into being dominated! (Nah but DM me tho if u gon do it 🤤🤫) BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

Say Bruh shout to u pretty a$$ ladies with resting bish face (RBF) bruv I fux with y’all. I fux witchu ladies the long way bruv y’all sexy. ...

America, Anaconda, and Bailey Jay: Baller Alert's Today in Hip-Hop: 22 Years Since The Fugees Released 'The Score' @balleralert igees The core Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: 22 Years Since The Fugees Released ‘The Score’-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 22 years ago today, The Fugees released their second album ‘The Score’ on Columbia Records. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The body of work arguably became the hip-hop trio’s best album. With an alternative hip-hop sound, the group created a sound and moment that would later go on to dominate the hip-hop industry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With three smash singles: “Ready or Not”, “Fu-Gee-La”, and “Killing Me Softly”, the album was a major success for the group peaking at number one on the Billboard 200 and the Top R&B-Hip-Hop Albums chart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With their lead singles, The Fugees showcased impeccable lyricism and amazing production techniques that allowed them to gain worldwide recognition. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ By October 3, 1997, ‘The Score’ was certified six times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The album earned the group two Grammys in 1996 for “Best Rap Album” and “Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals” for “Killing Me Softly”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ In addition to the awards, the album has been praised by many publications and included in multiple “Top 100” lists. In 1998, the album was listed in The Source's 100 best rap albums list, and in 2003, ‘The Score’ was ranked number 477 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 greatest albums of all time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ What was your favorite song from the album?
America, Anaconda, and Bailey Jay: Baller Alert's Today in Hip-Hop:
 22 Years Since The Fugees
 Released 'The Score'
 @balleralert
 igees
 The
 core
Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: 22 Years Since The Fugees Released ‘The Score’-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 22 years ago today, The Fugees released their second album ‘The Score’ on Columbia Records. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The body of work arguably became the hip-hop trio’s best album. With an alternative hip-hop sound, the group created a sound and moment that would later go on to dominate the hip-hop industry. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With three smash singles: “Ready or Not”, “Fu-Gee-La”, and “Killing Me Softly”, the album was a major success for the group peaking at number one on the Billboard 200 and the Top R&B-Hip-Hop Albums chart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ With their lead singles, The Fugees showcased impeccable lyricism and amazing production techniques that allowed them to gain worldwide recognition. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ By October 3, 1997, ‘The Score’ was certified six times platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ The album earned the group two Grammys in 1996 for “Best Rap Album” and “Best R&B Performance by a Duo or Group with Vocals” for “Killing Me Softly”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ In addition to the awards, the album has been praised by many publications and included in multiple “Top 100” lists. In 1998, the album was listed in The Source's 100 best rap albums list, and in 2003, ‘The Score’ was ranked number 477 on Rolling Stone’s list of the 500 greatest albums of all time. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ What was your favorite song from the album?

Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: 22 Years Since The Fugees Released ‘The Score’-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀ 22 years ago today, Th...

80s, Bless Up, and Clock: Meet Eddie, the Hospital Therapy Dog who is always carrying around his bookbag of toys and can always be found in the Pediatric Intensive Care Unit @DrSmashlove Reddit u/Stuffy Unicorn Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy but a real one, an unironic one lol. And he look like Tom Brady in the face but he burly like Tom Hardy. And he got no shirt under the overalls just manly. And my girl like “Aren’t you cold?” And in a syrupy southern drawl he say “mayam - I werked one year as longshoreman in Alasker. One tam - my toes done froze off, lost two. But I survaved. An I don’t git cold no mowar. 🤠” He reach under the steering wheel, pop the hood, walk around, flicks it open, props it up with only his arm, grab wiper fluid out of the bed of his truck which also houses a deer he just shot, opens it with his mouth, pours the fluid, replaces the cap. I’m in awe. My girl even more in awe. He grab a blanket out of his truck and wrap up my girl and he like “just makin sure yer old lady’s warm, sir 😌. Would yall lak to come to my home for some deer steaks before continuing yer journey?” And I’m like “wow what a gracious offer u know what MSNBC and CNN are wrong about y’all, rednecks are amazing people” and just then. Right then. My girl hop out the whip. I’m like “WOMAN! IT’S SNOWING?” And she like “you don’t want steak then suit yourself I’M HUNGRY. We could have stopped at Ponderosa like I asked but you said we almost home WELL SMASH WE AIN’T.” And with that she retreat to the redneck’s truck. “But baby,” I said. “We got a nice home. Like the republican Family in Strangers things 😥.” “That might be true” she say “but money can’t buy happiness.” And just like that they ride off in the sunset. People always say “I was born in the wrong era.” BIH! NOT ME! In the 80s u could lose ya girl over wiper fluid! I’m not handy but I know how a Neapolitan suit should fit in the shoulder and how to tastefully appoint a living room with Eames chairs and Mies van der Rohe bench but still make it vibe with heirloom pieces like a grandfather clock! Bish I’m aesthetic asf! I was raised with sisters! And it’s ladies who, combined with my wondrous tung and pipe game, and my brand of earnest empathy, accept my type of manliness lol! Thank you God!! Bless up! 😂😂😂
80s, Bless Up, and Clock: Meet Eddie, the Hospital Therapy Dog who
 is always carrying around his bookbag of
 toys and can always be found in the
 Pediatric Intensive Care Unit
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit u/Stuffy Unicorn
Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy but a real one, an unironic one lol. And he look like Tom Brady in the face but he burly like Tom Hardy. And he got no shirt under the overalls just manly. And my girl like “Aren’t you cold?” And in a syrupy southern drawl he say “mayam - I werked one year as longshoreman in Alasker. One tam - my toes done froze off, lost two. But I survaved. An I don’t git cold no mowar. 🤠” He reach under the steering wheel, pop the hood, walk around, flicks it open, props it up with only his arm, grab wiper fluid out of the bed of his truck which also houses a deer he just shot, opens it with his mouth, pours the fluid, replaces the cap. I’m in awe. My girl even more in awe. He grab a blanket out of his truck and wrap up my girl and he like “just makin sure yer old lady’s warm, sir 😌. Would yall lak to come to my home for some deer steaks before continuing yer journey?” And I’m like “wow what a gracious offer u know what MSNBC and CNN are wrong about y’all, rednecks are amazing people” and just then. Right then. My girl hop out the whip. I’m like “WOMAN! IT’S SNOWING?” And she like “you don’t want steak then suit yourself I’M HUNGRY. We could have stopped at Ponderosa like I asked but you said we almost home WELL SMASH WE AIN’T.” And with that she retreat to the redneck’s truck. “But baby,” I said. “We got a nice home. Like the republican Family in Strangers things 😥.” “That might be true” she say “but money can’t buy happiness.” And just like that they ride off in the sunset. People always say “I was born in the wrong era.” BIH! NOT ME! In the 80s u could lose ya girl over wiper fluid! I’m not handy but I know how a Neapolitan suit should fit in the shoulder and how to tastefully appoint a living room with Eames chairs and Mies van der Rohe bench but still make it vibe with heirloom pieces like a grandfather clock! Bish I’m aesthetic asf! I was raised with sisters! And it’s ladies who, combined with my wondrous tung and pipe game, and my brand of earnest empathy, accept my type of manliness lol! Thank you God!! Bless up! 😂😂😂

Part 2 (see previous post for Part 1): He’d leap out of his truck wearing overalls and construction boots and a trucker cap - not Ed Hardy b...

Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this little nugget when she gets home from work. Reddit u/belatedpajamas @DrSmashlove Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Be Like, Bless Up, and Chicago: Waiting to surprise my SO with this
 little nugget when she gets home
 from work.
 Reddit u/belatedpajamas
 @DrSmashlove
Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold yuck.” OKAY. DUH. NOBODY SAYING IT’S WARM LOL. But the cold got benefits. For one, it make the holidays pretty. I don’t celebrate Christmas but all the pretty lights and snowflakes bruv that make me feel like I’m in a quaint, adorable little English village. On some “Cheerio chap! Yes very good govvenah! BRIYYANT!” 😂 U feel me? Heritage. Not my heritage - but somebody heritage lol! Fireplaces. Cozy lil fires. U feel me? Seasons. Now it’s also downsides. I keep water bottles in my car and them bottles freeze. No bueno asf. But a HALF FROZE bottle is a come up! If u catch it at the right point in the freeze life cycle it develop a water PP column right up the middle that osmularicizes coldness through water you pour into the bottle it and freezes it to the optimal gym water temp. Boom. One sip and u transported to the mountains of Norway bruv. U thirsty. U been walking for days. U come upon a comely Norwegian birb with a gaggle of aggressive huskies barking at u. U like “Ok these huskies don’t like my kind lmao RIP to me it was real”. She opens her mouth and whispers: “Jeg kan se din PP-utskrift gjennom din overcoat” (“I can see your PP print through your overcoat”). And then u like “aye short blond hair on white girls is sexy ol McCaulay Culkin Justin Bieber with a fatty lookin a$$ PAUSE.” And she like “come. Drink.” And she open her shroud which is made from a single uncut bison skin and she bare nekky and she put my head against her heart and pour water into my mouth like I’m her bb and I’m like “wow Scandinavians are wild but I love it.” That’s how soothing that half frozen ice PP water bottle taste bruv. Anyway then she fall in love with me and ask me to live among her people and I’m like “Jeg er her for en god stund, ikke lenge, du vet jeg” (“I'm here for a good time not a long time, you know **I**”). And she shed a single tear and I pet the huskies and depart homeward. BOTTOM LINE THAT HALF FROZEN WATER BOTTLE IS A GYM BLESSING BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

Now people always wanna be like “wow how do you live in Chicago”, “damn smash Chicago is cold asf why not Miami”, “wow Chicago is big cold y...

Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high return rate @DrSmashlove Reddit ulyerawizzardarry Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ®️ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ain’t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin 🤤 before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say “I am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU 👏 DONT 👏 WANT 👏 ME 👏 TO 👏 FALL 👏 IN 👏LOVE 👏THAT’S 👏WHEN 👏 THE 👏 CRAZY 👏 COME 👏 OUT 👏 NOT 👏 THE 👏 GOOD 👏 CRAZY 👏 BUT 👏 THE 👏 BAD CRAZY. 👏BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhh” *digs manicure nails into scalp* “I ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DON’T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😩” — You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv 😂 - I start going down under and y’all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe it’s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I don’t have long hair and anyway my hair don’t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe it’s another movie entirely that I ain’t even in!? “Well smash now I KNOW you don’t know as much as women as you purport to...some women can’t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP 🛑 TRYING 🛑 TO 🛑 CONTROL 🛑 OUR 🛑 BODIES.” Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him that’s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ain’t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ain’t came out yet jus wait on it 😂. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP 🤗😍😂
Bad, Bless Up, and Bodies : Invest in tennis balls, they have a high
 return rate
 @DrSmashlove
 Reddit ulyerawizzardarry
Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ®️ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look him in the eye while he working, he dutiful. It ain’t gotta be a staring contest just that lil belly crunchie where u lean up for a sec with that drooly grin 🤤 before laying back down and clutching ya own bresstassiss again lol. The look in the eye say “I am validating your efforts, which are appreciated. Go Head with that whirlwind devil tung boy who raised u? Is u half Man half reptile with that tornado tung? U tryina eff around and make me fall in love? YOU 👏 DONT 👏 WANT 👏 ME 👏 TO 👏 FALL 👏 IN 👏LOVE 👏THAT’S 👏WHEN 👏 THE 👏 CRAZY 👏 COME 👏 OUT 👏 NOT 👏 THE 👏 GOOD 👏 CRAZY 👏 BUT 👏 THE 👏 BAD CRAZY. 👏BOI...imma have to ohhhghhhhhh ggggahhhhhh” *digs manicure nails into scalp* “I ahhhhhhh yesyesyesyesyes DON’T STOP FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU 😩” — You feel me? That interaction is clutch. I be seeing some of u criminals tho bruv 😂 - I start going down under and y’all wanna close ya eyes and play out a whole separate movie in ya head. How do I know what movie dat is? Maybe it’s me on a snowy mountain top wearing only a fur loin cloth riding a unicorn with my hair blowing in the arctic wind (I don’t have long hair and anyway my hair don’t blow but bear with me lmao) or maybe it’s another movie entirely that I ain’t even in!? “Well smash now I KNOW you don’t know as much as women as you purport to...some women can’t bust unless they close their eyes and go to a happy place STOP 🛑 TRYING 🛑 TO 🛑 CONTROL 🛑 OUR 🛑 BODIES.” Whoa derr ma. Now u doing too much. U free to go to a happy place, just give a brother a glance! U feel me? A small token of your appreciation. Inside every man is a little part of him that’s a hurt lil boy who need reinforcement. If u think u with some super macho lookin a$$ boy who ain’t got this lil part of him that just mean he good at hiding it but he likely got the ultimate mommy-daddy issues that ain’t came out yet jus wait on it 😂. For the rest of u, LOOK HIM IN THE EYE - to be a good plant manager u gotta be appreciative of the pipe layer so he keep doing a good job BLESS UP 🤗😍😂

Ladies cot dammit if ya man take a dive down under and hit ya Nani with that impeccable TungWerk ®️ make a lil eye contact. U feel me? Look ...

Apparently, Bless Up, and Boobies: MORE PEANUT BUTTER! Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judgy about them girls being stretch marky and hangy when that bra pop off y’all cute. Bashful. Y’all adorable. BUT LISTEN HERE COT DAMMIT IF U DONT LET THEM GIRLS COME OUT AND PLAY WE GON HAVE ISSUES I NEED THE LIGHTS ON SHINING ON EVERY MINOR DETAIL AND ‘IMPERFECTION’ (personally I call them ‘perfections’. Butt dimples? Cellulite? Stretch marks? U perfect to me, aint a cot damn thing ‘im’ about it 🤗). U 42 NOT 22 YA BOOBIES NOT SUPPOSE TO BE UPRIGHT AND FIRM STARING OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS LIKE FETTY WAP’S EYES THEY SUPPOSE TO FLOP DOWN A LIL BIT AND THAT’S PART OF THE BEAUTY OF THINE SHAPE WHY U EMBARRASSED OF SOMETHING CUTE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THAT’S WHY I DON’T BE WEARING PANTS OR BOXERS I WALK AROUND NEKKY BECAUSE I’M CUTE, BIH! MY PP HANDSOME! FVCK U THOUGHT! EVEN WHEN THE ROOM 67.5 DEGREES AND MR. PEEPATOUS (he Greek apparently - to my knowledge I aint Greek but he Greek lmao “OPA!!!”) HATH PARTLY RECEDED INTO MY BODY FOR WARMTH AND COMFORT AW HELL NAH! HE STILL HANDSOME! LET THEM GIRLS OUT, WOMAN! SENDING SELFIES ON THE BED LAYING FLAT ARMS UP APPLYING EIGHT FILTERS CONTORTING YA ENTIRE COT DAMN EXISTENCE TO GET THEM GIRLS LOOKING YOUNG AND PERKY I AINT ASK FOR THAT! LEMME SEE *YOU* COT DAMMIT! LIKE CREEPY HOMEBOY MR HOT SPOT BE SAYING: “YEAH! I *LIKE* **THAT**!!” YA GET ME! BLESS UP 😍❤️😂😂😂 (Pic: Reddit u-tfro9)
Apparently, Bless Up, and Boobies: MORE PEANUT BUTTER!
Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judgy about them girls being stretch marky and hangy when that bra pop off y’all cute. Bashful. Y’all adorable. BUT LISTEN HERE COT DAMMIT IF U DONT LET THEM GIRLS COME OUT AND PLAY WE GON HAVE ISSUES I NEED THE LIGHTS ON SHINING ON EVERY MINOR DETAIL AND ‘IMPERFECTION’ (personally I call them ‘perfections’. Butt dimples? Cellulite? Stretch marks? U perfect to me, aint a cot damn thing ‘im’ about it 🤗). U 42 NOT 22 YA BOOBIES NOT SUPPOSE TO BE UPRIGHT AND FIRM STARING OFF IN SEPARATE DIRECTIONS LIKE FETTY WAP’S EYES THEY SUPPOSE TO FLOP DOWN A LIL BIT AND THAT’S PART OF THE BEAUTY OF THINE SHAPE WHY U EMBARRASSED OF SOMETHING CUTE IN THE FIRST PLACE! THAT’S WHY I DON’T BE WEARING PANTS OR BOXERS I WALK AROUND NEKKY BECAUSE I’M CUTE, BIH! MY PP HANDSOME! FVCK U THOUGHT! EVEN WHEN THE ROOM 67.5 DEGREES AND MR. PEEPATOUS (he Greek apparently - to my knowledge I aint Greek but he Greek lmao “OPA!!!”) HATH PARTLY RECEDED INTO MY BODY FOR WARMTH AND COMFORT AW HELL NAH! HE STILL HANDSOME! LET THEM GIRLS OUT, WOMAN! SENDING SELFIES ON THE BED LAYING FLAT ARMS UP APPLYING EIGHT FILTERS CONTORTING YA ENTIRE COT DAMN EXISTENCE TO GET THEM GIRLS LOOKING YOUNG AND PERKY I AINT ASK FOR THAT! LEMME SEE *YOU* COT DAMMIT! LIKE CREEPY HOMEBOY MR HOT SPOT BE SAYING: “YEAH! I *LIKE* **THAT**!!” YA GET ME! BLESS UP 😍❤️😂😂😂 (Pic: Reddit u-tfro9)

Shout to u pretty older ladies that keep the bra on when we smash bc u self conscious and afraid the young buck that u with gonna be judgy a...

Anaconda, Baller Alert, and Billboard: Baller Alert's Today in Hip-Hop: Wu-Tang Clan Released "C.R.E.A.M." 24 Years Ago @balleralert THE ANG 36 CHAMBERS 9 WU-TANG CLAN Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: Wu-Tang Clan Released “C.R.E.A.M.” 24 Years Ago-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ On January 31, 1994, Wu-Tang Clan released their smash single “C.R.E.A.M." (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) from their 1993 album, ‘Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ To this day, “C.R.E.A.M.” remains a hip-hop classic that made us fall in love with Wu-Tang and their raw, street demeanor. For those that weren’t hip to their impeccable storytelling skills, the single also showcased their lyrical capabilities. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ When it comes to pop culture, you can often still hear the term be used or referenced by the likes of Drake to Bryson Tiller’s verse in “Wild Thoughts”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ To this day, “C.R.E.A.M.” remains one of the group’s highest charting singles, peaking at 60 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ On January 29, 2009, the single was certified Gold by the RIAA, almost 15 years after its release. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ In addition to its impact on hip-hop, the single has also received an array of accolades. Time listed the song on its list of All-TIME 100 Greatest Songs. Rolling Stone magazine also ranked the song 11 on their list of 50 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs of All Time.
Anaconda, Baller Alert, and Billboard: Baller Alert's Today in Hip-Hop:
 Wu-Tang Clan Released
 "C.R.E.A.M." 24 Years Ago
 @balleralert
 THE
 ANG
 36 CHAMBERS
 9
 WU-TANG
 CLAN
Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: Wu-Tang Clan Released “C.R.E.A.M.” 24 Years Ago-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ On January 31, 1994, Wu-Tang Clan released their smash single “C.R.E.A.M." (Cash Rules Everything Around Me) from their 1993 album, ‘Enter the Wu-Tang (36 Chambers)’. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ To this day, “C.R.E.A.M.” remains a hip-hop classic that made us fall in love with Wu-Tang and their raw, street demeanor. For those that weren’t hip to their impeccable storytelling skills, the single also showcased their lyrical capabilities. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ When it comes to pop culture, you can often still hear the term be used or referenced by the likes of Drake to Bryson Tiller’s verse in “Wild Thoughts”. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ To this day, “C.R.E.A.M.” remains one of the group’s highest charting singles, peaking at 60 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ On January 29, 2009, the single was certified Gold by the RIAA, almost 15 years after its release. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ In addition to its impact on hip-hop, the single has also received an array of accolades. Time listed the song on its list of All-TIME 100 Greatest Songs. Rolling Stone magazine also ranked the song 11 on their list of 50 Greatest Hip-Hop Songs of All Time.

Baller Alert’s Today in Hip-Hop: Wu-Tang Clan Released “C.R.E.A.M.” 24 Years Ago-blogged by @thereal__bee ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀ On January 31, 1994, ...

Beautiful, Bless Up, and Chicago: l just rescued this beautiful girl, and she is sleeping inside for the first time in her life Reddit u/CollectiveOfCells @DrSmashlove So I’m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and I’m like “aye y’all got Chil Fil A in Toronto 🤔” and she like “nah” and I’m like “aight when u slide thru Chicago it’s on” and she like “smash! We don’t fvck with Chik Fil A! 😤” And that’s when I had to stop her right there, bruv. See I don’t blame u Canadians because y’all really woke the long way but I gotta splain sum real quick. We all out here tryina make things right. U feel me? We all taking a stand. Against inequality. Against intolerance. I feel that. My fist in the air too, sis. BUT REVOLT HAS A LINE THAT CANNOT BE CROSSED AND THAT LINE IS CHIK FIL A 😐😂. Do I like they stance on same sex marriage? No. Do I like they tenders? Also no. I LOVE THEY TENDERS, BRUV. I PEEL OPEN THAT SRIRACHA SAUCE AND I PEEL OPEN THAT POLYNESIAN SAUCE AND I DUNK + TWIRL MY MEAT IN BOTH SAUCES - IN ALTERNATING FASHION - AS MY HEART (and belly, and eye) SHED A SINGLE TEAR OF HAPPINESS. But Smash, what if tomorrow they tweeted ‘Chik Fil A supports the Trump Travel Ban, go back to your country 😤.’ Well see now sis, extraordinary measures require extraordinary responses. I would go directly to my jeweler Tony on Wabash. I would say “Tony my dude imma need a cross.” Tony: “smash...you don’t wear crosses(?)” Me: “TONY GIMME THE CROSS AND STOP AXING QUESTIONS. MAKE SURE IT GOT JESUS ON IT. Put diamonds in the thorns too 🙂.” And I would stroll to Chik Fil A on State Street. And put that cross on, go in and say “two orders of tenders and a peach milkshake please.” The black cashier would eye me. I would eye her back. I would look down. I would look back up and see her shaking her head: “smash...I served u daily during Ramadan. DAILY. In here like a crack addict at sundown in your suit - 8:32 pm on the dot I’m handing you tenders. And you’re back? After what they said about the trump ban? Wearing a CROSS(?)” And I would, with a solemn stare, mouth the following words “sis...issa time to fight and it’s a time to eat. The only thing standing between me and the dinner God hath planned for me is you. YOU COULD CATCHETH THESE HANDS. Glory be to Jesus.” BLESS UP 😩😍😂😂😂
Beautiful, Bless Up, and Chicago: l just rescued this beautiful girl, and she is
 sleeping inside for the first time in her life
 Reddit u/CollectiveOfCells
 @DrSmashlove
So I’m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and I’m like “aye y’all got Chil Fil A in Toronto 🤔” and she like “nah” and I’m like “aight when u slide thru Chicago it’s on” and she like “smash! We don’t fvck with Chik Fil A! 😤” And that’s when I had to stop her right there, bruv. See I don’t blame u Canadians because y’all really woke the long way but I gotta splain sum real quick. We all out here tryina make things right. U feel me? We all taking a stand. Against inequality. Against intolerance. I feel that. My fist in the air too, sis. BUT REVOLT HAS A LINE THAT CANNOT BE CROSSED AND THAT LINE IS CHIK FIL A 😐😂. Do I like they stance on same sex marriage? No. Do I like they tenders? Also no. I LOVE THEY TENDERS, BRUV. I PEEL OPEN THAT SRIRACHA SAUCE AND I PEEL OPEN THAT POLYNESIAN SAUCE AND I DUNK + TWIRL MY MEAT IN BOTH SAUCES - IN ALTERNATING FASHION - AS MY HEART (and belly, and eye) SHED A SINGLE TEAR OF HAPPINESS. But Smash, what if tomorrow they tweeted ‘Chik Fil A supports the Trump Travel Ban, go back to your country 😤.’ Well see now sis, extraordinary measures require extraordinary responses. I would go directly to my jeweler Tony on Wabash. I would say “Tony my dude imma need a cross.” Tony: “smash...you don’t wear crosses(?)” Me: “TONY GIMME THE CROSS AND STOP AXING QUESTIONS. MAKE SURE IT GOT JESUS ON IT. Put diamonds in the thorns too 🙂.” And I would stroll to Chik Fil A on State Street. And put that cross on, go in and say “two orders of tenders and a peach milkshake please.” The black cashier would eye me. I would eye her back. I would look down. I would look back up and see her shaking her head: “smash...I served u daily during Ramadan. DAILY. In here like a crack addict at sundown in your suit - 8:32 pm on the dot I’m handing you tenders. And you’re back? After what they said about the trump ban? Wearing a CROSS(?)” And I would, with a solemn stare, mouth the following words “sis...issa time to fight and it’s a time to eat. The only thing standing between me and the dinner God hath planned for me is you. YOU COULD CATCHETH THESE HANDS. Glory be to Jesus.” BLESS UP 😩😍😂😂😂

So I’m texting with my lil homegirl in Toronto and I’m like “aye y’all got Chil Fil A in Toronto 🤔” and she like “nah” and I’m like “aight w...

Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her swaddling technique on the dog. Reddit u/ohaivoltage @DrSmashlove So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂
Af, Baseball, and Bless Up: My pregnant wife has been practicing her
 swaddling technique on the dog.
 Reddit u/ohaivoltage
 @DrSmashlove
So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and for me that’s a must because I work out daily and I can’t have the cute MILF’s and instagram girls who wear a baseball cap and yoga pants and make they man photograph them at the gym thinking smash doesn’t bathe 🤗😂. Anyway imma keep it 600 - this is nice! It kinda smell like old school Speed Stick - the joint all the gym teachers would wear. I low key feel like a sexy gym teacher RN. Walking around school in tight sweatpants with the PP print on display and a polo tucked in with the drawstring hanging by the print and a college cap that say “ILLINI” and a whistle on my neck and the Nike Monarchs or as I call them the “Father Who Was Present In His Children’s Lives 11s” just smiling and winking at the Kindygarten teachers like “Hey Suzan. Hey Karen. Howdy Janet. Good MOHNIN Julia ☺️. Stevie always good to see you - DROP AND GIMME 20! Lmao jk wyd tho. Oh hi Martha 😉. Are those new reading glasses? I like them 😍.” That’s me today at work feeling like a spicy gym teacher. Matter fact that’s my 2018 schmood until further notice. Spicy gym teacher af. Strutting around school giving hi fives for no reason, overseeing floor hockey matches. “GIMME A PULL UP!!” LMAO I’m stupid bless up 😍😂😂😂

So I just copped a stick of Tom’s “North Woods” natural deodorant bc they finally released a deodorant that’s also an anti-perspirant and fo...

Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter. Reddit u/towntown1337 @DrSmashlove People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]
Ass, Beautiful, and Booty: First night at home from the shelter.
 Reddit u/towntown1337
 @DrSmashlove
People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean obviously from the captions u can see that there are things I like (skretch marks...above the booty dimples...thunderous thighs 🤤 lemme stop before I get hot and bothered.) But that don’t mean I don’t like thin women. I love them too. Equally. Girl if u don’t bring ya bony lil sensual grasshopper lookin a$$ and sit on this lap ol stick figure a$$ lmao wyd tho hangman lookin a$$ u cute tho lol handful of toothpicks with good hair lookin a$$ baby stop crying I’m playin with u why u gotta punch me ol legend of the slenderman lookin a$$ baby...baby why u choking me...baby? I kinda like this keep going HAHAHAHA LEMME STOP. Anyway like I said I ain’t got no type. Thicky thicc or slenderwomanous u all splendiferous. And that’s how I feel about doggies. I ain’t got no type. I understand people like different things. I don’t even blame people who go to breeders like I got close friends that’s done it and I’m not about to lecture anybody - they want a certain retriever or husky good for them. I don’t like puppy mills in my heart but I don’t judge. But as for me bruv a ratty lil mix breed rescue dog with a high pitch bark that sound like a child aggressively coughing? With them lil ass legs that allow him or her to run 700 miles per hour bruv? I love a crazy lil rescue mutt bruv he beautiful to me. But most important YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL FOR ADOPTING HIM OR HER - U A HERO. NOT A SMALL HERO BUT A BIG HERO - BLESS U - U WONDERFUL 😍❤️ [Editor’s Note: The reference to choking was made in jest and was merely intended to create literary interest. The author is from the hood. Consequently, I have built-in danger sensors. Wrap your hands around my throat and squeeze and u gon catcheth this fade. It be the petite lil joints that always wanna scrap too - don’t none of u lil grasshoppers DM me like “let me choke u zaddy ☺️” Imma leave u on ‘Seent’ ON PRINCIPLE. BLESS YA TINY LIL A$$ UP 😂😂😂]

People ask me “aye smash what’s your type? What do u like in a girl?” Simple - I ain’t got no type. Anyone who says I do is lyin 🦁. I mean o...

Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in public. 11/10 good boy Reddit u/aaronr93 @DrSmashlove A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂
Anaconda, Beer, and Bless Up: This is Ralph. It's his first time out in
 public. 11/10 good boy
 Reddit u/aaronr93
 @DrSmashlove
A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Brothers coffee, 2 lb. bag, $17.99. This isht right HERE, bruv? This is one of them joints that pay for the membership itself. Do me a favor and go to whole food. A 12 ounce bag run u $12.99. Here go THIRTY TWO OUNCES for $17.99. I feel like I won the lotto every time I buy this. U will need a grinder but that’s light work - TREAT YOSELF. (2) Ito En sencha and matcha tea bags. You get 100 wrapped tea bags. Brew the sencha and then add milk and honey and then empty the matcha from the bag on top. BLAM. U a barista now. Have a lil lady over like “aye baby u want a fresh ground Two Brothers latte - it’s a local beer brewery that happens to make killer coffee - or do u want a green tea latte made with the realeast authentic green tea from Japan?” She gon look at u and a single tear will form in her eye. He ex used to drag her a$$ to Starbucks, order a $5 drink, and then pat his own body down like he the police and make HER pay for HIS coffee talmbout “I forgot my wallet baby I’ll get you next.” Now YOU hand-crafting her morning beverage from scratch. You upgrading HER off of that COSTCO flex. JEW HEARD!! 🤫😍😂 (3) MyMo mochi balls (18 pcs). One tray has six - perfect for Netflix and chill at the end of a long week. “But smash, that’s only three mochis per person(?) My girl like to eat.” BIH. I SHARE MY COFFEE + TEA. NOT MY MOCHI. I NETFLIX AND CHILL MYSELF AND FOCUS ON THE PLOT. SHE GOTTA GET HER OWN “oush cream” *michelle tanner from full house voice* FAWKUMEAN 😂. (4) Siggi’s yogurt. Siggi’s is made the Iceland way. Like the Cheeto said, “why can’t we get more immigrants from countries like Norway?” BECAUSE U BRAINDEAD MORON THEY DONT WANNA COME TO THIS SH!THOLE COUNTRY THAT ELECTED YOU 😂. This is natural skyr yogurt that taste sweet + wondrous like the Nani of a comely, tall blond Icelandic woman wearing only fur boots, whispering sweet nothings in your ear that vaguely sound German but mostly like gibberish. Now u too can COSTCO flex. Bless up 😍😂😂😂

A necessary part of adulthood is obtaining that COSTCO flex. Without delay here go the couple gems u can’t leave COSTCO without. (1) Two Bro...

Bless Up, Chipotle, and Dating: u/TheMorganiser 4d She held a rubber duckie in her mouth to keep herself calm as I gave her a shower @DrSmashlove See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies don’t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Cap’n Crunch Decoder Ring ®️ u doomed to a lifetime of being lost in the sauce. Smash is here to help u decode 🤗. Now, on the pages of this account, I have detailed the true meaning behind the “GOOD NIGHT” text sent before the hour of 9 pm. As I’ve stated - nobody going to schleep at 8:02 pm. What she doing is saying: “BISH U ON NOTICE.” But many steps have to occur on the way to GOOD NIGHT. By then u done pissed her off to the point where she real, real tight with u. So what are the warning signs. One of my favorites is the following morning text: “Ok! Well, hope you have a good day 😌.” MEN ... BE CAUTIOUS 😂. Nothing about this text mean what it say. Girls don’t want u to have a good day. Quite the opposite. They wanna text u ALLLL DAY and get as many details as possible about ya a$$. How was lunch? Oh good. How’s work? How’s the gym? How’s dinner at Chipotle after the gym? Did u get queso? OMG THE QUESO MAKES THE BURRITO BOWL SO GOOD LOL LIKE GUAC *AND* QUESO I’VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN HAHA WYD. Nah. Hell nah. “Hope you have a good day” is code for “well now. I see you’re too busy to reply to my text at 9:02 am by 9:01 am like a good man should. Because you’re not a good man. In fact you’re awful. Literally why are we talking? GOOD 👏 PP 👏 WAS 👏 ENUF 👏 FOR 👏 ME 👏 WHEN 👏 I 👏 WAS 👏 22 👏 BUT 👏 I’M 👏 27 👏 NOW 👏 I’M 👏 A 👏 NEW 👏 KATELYN 👏 AND 👏 THIS 👏 KATELYN 👏 WON’T 👏 ACCEPT 👏 ‘Read 9:02 AM’. Question: why are you even dating? Mmmmwhy do you even think you’re fit to date? 🤔 YOU’RE STILL A HURT LITTLE BOY. YOU’RE NOT A GROWN MAN. GROWN MET REPLY TO A TEXT AT 9:02 am BY 9:01 am. WHERE IS A MAN WHO WILL ANTICIPATE MY FEELINGS AND TEXT ME WHAT I’M ALREADY THINKING WHILE I’M STILL COMPOSING MY THOUGHTS BUT HE SEES THREE DOTS AND CAN ALREADY READ MY MIND? WHERE, GOD? Ok. Forget it. Back to Bumble. Maybe Matt2983 will do BETTER. Hope you have a good day 😌.” BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Bless Up, Chipotle, and Dating: u/TheMorganiser 4d
 She held a rubber duckie in her mouth to
 keep herself calm as I gave her a shower
 @DrSmashlove
See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies don’t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Cap’n Crunch Decoder Ring ®️ u doomed to a lifetime of being lost in the sauce. Smash is here to help u decode 🤗. Now, on the pages of this account, I have detailed the true meaning behind the “GOOD NIGHT” text sent before the hour of 9 pm. As I’ve stated - nobody going to schleep at 8:02 pm. What she doing is saying: “BISH U ON NOTICE.” But many steps have to occur on the way to GOOD NIGHT. By then u done pissed her off to the point where she real, real tight with u. So what are the warning signs. One of my favorites is the following morning text: “Ok! Well, hope you have a good day 😌.” MEN ... BE CAUTIOUS 😂. Nothing about this text mean what it say. Girls don’t want u to have a good day. Quite the opposite. They wanna text u ALLLL DAY and get as many details as possible about ya a$$. How was lunch? Oh good. How’s work? How’s the gym? How’s dinner at Chipotle after the gym? Did u get queso? OMG THE QUESO MAKES THE BURRITO BOWL SO GOOD LOL LIKE GUAC *AND* QUESO I’VE DIED AND GONE TO HEAVEN HAHA WYD. Nah. Hell nah. “Hope you have a good day” is code for “well now. I see you’re too busy to reply to my text at 9:02 am by 9:01 am like a good man should. Because you’re not a good man. In fact you’re awful. Literally why are we talking? GOOD 👏 PP 👏 WAS 👏 ENUF 👏 FOR 👏 ME 👏 WHEN 👏 I 👏 WAS 👏 22 👏 BUT 👏 I’M 👏 27 👏 NOW 👏 I’M 👏 A 👏 NEW 👏 KATELYN 👏 AND 👏 THIS 👏 KATELYN 👏 WON’T 👏 ACCEPT 👏 ‘Read 9:02 AM’. Question: why are you even dating? Mmmmwhy do you even think you’re fit to date? 🤔 YOU’RE STILL A HURT LITTLE BOY. YOU’RE NOT A GROWN MAN. GROWN MET REPLY TO A TEXT AT 9:02 am BY 9:01 am. WHERE IS A MAN WHO WILL ANTICIPATE MY FEELINGS AND TEXT ME WHAT I’M ALREADY THINKING WHILE I’M STILL COMPOSING MY THOUGHTS BUT HE SEES THREE DOTS AND CAN ALREADY READ MY MIND? WHERE, GOD? Ok. Forget it. Back to Bumble. Maybe Matt2983 will do BETTER. Hope you have a good day 😌.” BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

See bruv a big part of being a grown man is reading code. Ladies don’t text in English. Ladies text in code. If u ain got the Cap’n Crunch D...