Smash

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Anaconda, Bless Up, and Costco: Good old boy still has some wags left I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat - AC vent lol check out pet finder aka pet tinder and get your loved one a lovely doggo who can live out his or her last years with love. β€œBut smash they’ll die and my kids will be sad! πŸ˜’β€ Well bish listen lol. That’s the thing. People were never sheltered from death. Their grandpa would die. Their dad would die. Their horse would die. Their mule would die. They pup would die. That was life 100+ years ago. Now we shelter all the bb’s from death and are they happier or more well adjusted? πŸ€” FVCK NAH ... We’re less well adjusted than we ever been πŸ˜‚. Don’t worry. Five or six year old doggie ain’t finna die tmrow plus he was already in a home before coming to the shelter so he or she usually house trained. Consider it, beloveds! β€œSmash my girlfriend Kelsey wants a pure bred newborn retriever she doesn’t want an adult doggie she’s doesn’t even like most dogs she’s very specific u wouldn’t understand sorry.” Aye I feel u bro! But Kelsey might be trash - I didn’t say she’s trash - she might be Mother Theresa - I said β€˜might’!!! πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚. Just as there is tinder for pets called pet finder it’s also a tinder for humans called β€œregular a$$ tinder” - I never been on it bc I’m bold - stupid - reckless Enuf to ask girls out at whole food - traders joe - the gym - Costco - hotel lobby - intelligentsia coffee - the doctor’s office πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚ but it work - U might could find a comely lass with artful tattoos, hygienic nether regions and a love of old boyes - bam - dont Short yaself, YOLO Bless up πŸ˜β€οΈπŸ˜‚
Anaconda, Bless Up, and Costco: Good old boy still has some wags left
I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat - AC vent lol check out pet finder aka pet tinder and get your loved one a lovely doggo who can live out his or her last years with love. β€œBut smash they’ll die and my kids will be sad! πŸ˜’β€ Well bish listen lol. That’s the thing. People were never sheltered from death. Their grandpa would die. Their dad would die. Their horse would die. Their mule would die. They pup would die. That was life 100+ years ago. Now we shelter all the bb’s from death and are they happier or more well adjusted? πŸ€” FVCK NAH ... We’re less well adjusted than we ever been πŸ˜‚. Don’t worry. Five or six year old doggie ain’t finna die tmrow plus he was already in a home before coming to the shelter so he or she usually house trained. Consider it, beloveds! β€œSmash my girlfriend Kelsey wants a pure bred newborn retriever she doesn’t want an adult doggie she’s doesn’t even like most dogs she’s very specific u wouldn’t understand sorry.” Aye I feel u bro! But Kelsey might be trash - I didn’t say she’s trash - she might be Mother Theresa - I said β€˜might’!!! πŸ€·β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚. Just as there is tinder for pets called pet finder it’s also a tinder for humans called β€œregular a$$ tinder” - I never been on it bc I’m bold - stupid - reckless Enuf to ask girls out at whole food - traders joe - the gym - Costco - hotel lobby - intelligentsia coffee - the doctor’s office πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈπŸ˜‚ but it work - U might could find a comely lass with artful tattoos, hygienic nether regions and a love of old boyes - bam - dont Short yaself, YOLO Bless up πŸ˜β€οΈπŸ˜‚

I know people love to give puppies as presents on holidays bc they cute but keep in mind they cutely poop on the couch and pee down the heat...

Ass, Bitch, and Cute: THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE THAT COT SHIT TO SAY ABOUT ME THE AMOUNT OF PPL THAT'S CONNA SAY OR DO SOMETHING WHEN THEY SEE I remember about 1Β½ years ago a soldier on Schofield angrily dm'd me after going through his wife's phone. It was in reference to his wife sliding into my dm asking me to meet up and smash in her 2005 chevy tahoe, in the parking structure of @24hourfitness_pearlcity. I declined the offer. She was cute, I ain't gon lie. I woulda went balls deep. But declined the offer nonetheless. Something was a little off about her. And I just said to myself, "Nah ima pass". I just told her that if she wanted to workout and take a few selfies, we could. I told him the same thing. He didn't wanna hear allat, though. And he threatened my life πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ talm bout "Why you hittin on my wife? You a bitch and ima kill yo ass." First of all, I didn't eeeem know she was married cause you ain't on her page. At all. Second of all I just seen her on Tinder so she probably already cheatin on yo lame ass. Third of all, I don't smash wives anymore. I learned my lesson and changed my ways. And lastly...BET!!!!!!!!! I'll be your huckleberry like a MF. So I told him to meet me at the Martinez gym parking lot and we can squab. Then I left my house, in Kailua, and drove 40 minutes to Schofield and waited 2 hours on him to show up. And I was lifting while I waited! So I was already fatiguing my muscles so he could have a better chance of takin my life like he swore he would have. Bitch ass nigga was a no show πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.
Ass, Bitch, and Cute: THE AMOUNT OF PEOPLE
 THAT COT SHIT TO SAY ABOUT
 ME
 THE AMOUNT OF PPL THAT'S
 CONNA SAY OR DO
 SOMETHING WHEN THEY SEE
I remember about 1Β½ years ago a soldier on Schofield angrily dm'd me after going through his wife's phone. It was in reference to his wife sliding into my dm asking me to meet up and smash in her 2005 chevy tahoe, in the parking structure of @24hourfitness_pearlcity. I declined the offer. She was cute, I ain't gon lie. I woulda went balls deep. But declined the offer nonetheless. Something was a little off about her. And I just said to myself, "Nah ima pass". I just told her that if she wanted to workout and take a few selfies, we could. I told him the same thing. He didn't wanna hear allat, though. And he threatened my life πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ talm bout "Why you hittin on my wife? You a bitch and ima kill yo ass." First of all, I didn't eeeem know she was married cause you ain't on her page. At all. Second of all I just seen her on Tinder so she probably already cheatin on yo lame ass. Third of all, I don't smash wives anymore. I learned my lesson and changed my ways. And lastly...BET!!!!!!!!! I'll be your huckleberry like a MF. So I told him to meet me at the Martinez gym parking lot and we can squab. Then I left my house, in Kailua, and drove 40 minutes to Schofield and waited 2 hours on him to show up. And I was lifting while I waited! So I was already fatiguing my muscles so he could have a better chance of takin my life like he swore he would have. Bitch ass nigga was a no show πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

I remember about 1Β½ years ago a soldier on Schofield angrily dm'd me after going through his wife's phone. It was in reference to his wife s...

Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and your owners let you up on the hotel bed @DrSmashlove (Sound on πŸ”Š) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isn’t laundry everywhere πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ˜‚ β€œwowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ SO πŸ‘ DEMANDING πŸ‘ THEN πŸ‘ MAKE πŸ‘ MY πŸ‘ BED πŸ‘ THEN πŸ‘ LAY πŸ‘ IN πŸ‘ IT πŸ‘ D!CKFACE πŸ‘. LOOKIN A$$ 😀.” Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed β€œIT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTE” *my haunting mama’s voice* BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ [Editor’s Note: shout to u ladies who be like β€œWELL. I really want you to come up 😌. But my place is a mess LOL!” Me: *shannon sharpe voice* β€œTHAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ain’t no problem 😊.” Girl: β€œLOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!” Me: *judges vigorously in secret* πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. Second editor’s note: β€œwowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess he’s just another worthless man now.” Me: y’all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ain’t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER β€˜sensually exploratory by disposition’ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS πŸ‘ UP πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚]
Be Like, Bless Up, and Chill: When you're a good boy on vacation and
 your owners let you up on the hotel bed
 @DrSmashlove
(Sound on πŸ”Š) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and the bed is made and there isn’t laundry everywhere πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ™‚πŸ˜‚ β€œwowwwwww smash with the FOULNESS today FIRST of all SOME LADIES WORK. A JOB. WE LEAVE QUICKLY AND CANT MAKE THE BED. WE GOTTA APPLY MAKE UP. WE GOTTA DO HAIR. WE GOTTA LOOK PRESENTABLE. U AINT GOT THAT STRESS. HALF THE MEN I WORK WITH DONT EVEN BATHE IN THE AM WITCHOE PERSNICKETY DEMANDING A$$ IF πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ SO πŸ‘ DEMANDING πŸ‘ THEN πŸ‘ MAKE πŸ‘ MY πŸ‘ BED πŸ‘ THEN πŸ‘ LAY πŸ‘ IN πŸ‘ IT πŸ‘ D!CKFACE πŸ‘. LOOKIN A$$ 😀.” Yep. Like I said baby. Make ya bed β€œIT TAKE ONLY THREE MINUTE” *my haunting mama’s voice* BLESS UP πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ [Editor’s Note: shout to u ladies who be like β€œWELL. I really want you to come up 😌. But my place is a mess LOL!” Me: *shannon sharpe voice* β€œTHAT AIN NO PRAHBLEM! That ain’t no problem 😊.” Girl: β€œLOL OKAYYYY NO JUDGING THO! Lolol!” Me: *judges vigorously in secret* πŸ€—πŸ˜‚. Second editor’s note: β€œwowwwww smash is a h0e and not only that a judgmental h0e where did this come from? He was fake woke?!! Guess he’s just another worthless man now.” Me: y’all really need to chill and let me off the leash occasionally all my sisters is brilliant and they all got careers and guess what, busy women ain’t trying to impress no cot damn man sometimes u gotta do a catch-up clean on the wknd LET ME TEASE YALL SOMETIMES I AM STILL AN ALLY LMAO SOMETIMES I JUST GOT JOKES ALSO THE h0e LABEL REALLY DO BE HURTING MY FEELINGS I PREFER β€˜sensually exploratory by disposition’ (SEBD) THAT MAKE ME FEEL A LIL BETTER BLESS BLESS πŸ‘ UP πŸ‘πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚]

(Sound on πŸ”Š) My reaction when I meet a girl at a bar and she take me back to her crib afterward and her room surprisingly actually tidy and ...

Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny piggy @DrSmashlove Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? πŸ˜‚ I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses πŸ˜‚. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG πŸ˜‚β€οΈ. Potential reply No. 1: β€œeasy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ β€˜bless up πŸ˜Šβ€™ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ LOVED πŸ‘ DOGS πŸ‘ SO πŸ‘ MUCH πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ WOULD πŸ‘ HAVE πŸ‘ A πŸ‘ DOG πŸ‘ LOOKIN πŸ‘ A$$ πŸ‘. Wait do he got a dog? πŸ€” PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs πŸ€” aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN πŸ‘ A$$ πŸ‘. (How’d I do? Bless up πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸ˜)
Beard, Bless Up, and Bruh: Dog is so friendly and gentle to his tiny
 piggy
 @DrSmashlove
Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? πŸ˜‚ I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. But today imma insta my unpopular opinion and y’all can respond. Imma even help y’all with ya responses πŸ˜‚. Ok? Deal? Here go. Smash’s Friday Afternoon Argumentative Unpopular Opinion: if u eat pork but not dog meat u a hippocrip PROVE ME WRONG πŸ˜‚β€οΈ. Potential reply No. 1: β€œeasy for u smash ol muslim lookin a$$ ol ramadan Mubarak lookin a$$ ol grow a beard to look righteous but we know u struggle with demons like the rest of us lookin a$$ ol fake woke lookin a$$ is u even a male lookin a$$ or is u a female English PhD catfishing us lookin a$$. Not een a minority lookin a$$. Probably pakistanian lookin a$$ I KNOW U PAKISTANI EEN THO U SAID U AINT LOOKIN A$$. STOP LYIN OSMAN. Lookin a$$. Anyway lookin a$$ that’s easy for u to say! U CANT eat pork! If u could, u would - same way u eat chicken! Arbitrarily line drawing lookin a$$ STOP IT. BEEN WANTING TO SAY ALL THIS TO YA LOOKIN A$$. U DA REAL HIPPOCRIP LOOKIN A$$ β€˜bless up πŸ˜Šβ€™ HAPPY GO LUCKY ALWAYS SMILING LOOKIN A$$ WHAT U SO HAPPY ABOUT SMASH LOW KEY U GET ON MY NERVES BUT I LIKE DOGS SO I STAY FOLLOWING LOOKIN A$$. AND MY FRIENDS THINK U FUNNY BUT I KNOW U A FRAUD LOOKIN A$$ IF πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ LOVED πŸ‘ DOGS πŸ‘ SO πŸ‘ MUCH πŸ‘ U πŸ‘ WOULD πŸ‘ HAVE πŸ‘ A πŸ‘ DOG πŸ‘ LOOKIN πŸ‘ A$$ πŸ‘. Wait do he got a dog? πŸ€” PAKISTANIANS AIN GOT DOGS AND HE GOTTA BE PAKISTANIAN WITH HIS LOOKIN A$$ SO IMMA SAY NO - or he a woman? Women love dogs πŸ€” aye either way if he was $exy he would post a pic he probably a mutant WITH HIS LOOKIN πŸ‘ A$$ πŸ‘. (How’d I do? Bless up πŸ˜‚β€οΈπŸ˜)

Say Bruh u know how Twitter users wil out and do Unpopular Opinions? πŸ˜‚ I’m always jealous because I don’t have a twitter so I can’t twit. Bu...