๐Ÿ”ฅ | Latest

Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning of the universe in those two eyes. So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚
Best Friend, Bless Up, and College: You can see the meaning
 of the universe in those
 two eyes.
So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unicorn Blood? Yโ€™all doin too much. U coffee roasters Bruv a lot of yโ€™all getting real comfortable selling good (but not life changing) coffee for $15.99 a bag and Iโ€™m thinking I might come for yโ€™all. Coffee is my thing and if I had the time and the roasting equipment, I could stomp yโ€™all out completely. And I know what Iโ€™d name my coffee blend, too: Mermaid Period. Yโ€™all think Unicorn Blood is rare? Yโ€™all ainโ€™t seen rare. First of all a Unicorn is just a horse with a horn. That sh!t low key basic. A good plastic surgeon could make one. If a plastic surgeon could make the Kardashians Black bruv? He could throw a horn on a horse nah thatโ€™s basic. Mermaids? Bruv thatโ€™s half woman half fish. Up top she a sexy, comely ginger with seashells on her Tetas. Waist down? All flipper. Whereโ€™s the Punani? Exactly. Even if a mermaid had a Punani (which she canโ€™t because issa flipper), would she even have a period? How? Do she wear faded, washed 7,000 times, soft-as-silk (๐Ÿ˜) Period panty granny panties over her flipper? Or do she just freeball it bleeding out her sweet, precious, mythical, menstrual magnificence into the ocean with reckless abandon so that if a random scuba diver named Aiden from Newport Beach with floopy blond hair is swimming by and perchance catches a glorious taste, his heart explodes with love and affection and his head pops off his body and his scuba diving companion William is at his funeral just like โ€œI know yโ€™all will never believe me because I used to drop acid when I attended college but my best friend died after inhaling Mermaid Period then his head popped off his body and a shark ate it good night ๐Ÿ˜ข.โ€ Bam. Straight like that. It will be beautifully rich, reddish in color, deliciously fragrant, and invigorating - just like regular Period (But Iโ€™ll call it Mermaid Period because yโ€™all love it when these beverage companies are extra ๐Ÿค—). Coming to your grocery aisle fall 2018. Starbucks, Peetโ€™s and Dark Matter - yโ€™all on notice. Bless up ๐Ÿค—๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

So my lil homegirl sent me a link to this coffee made by Dark Matter thatโ€™s called Unicorn Blood. Tried it. Not gon lie, delicious. But Unic...