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Being Alone, Bad, and Funny: reddit Hello, A few months ago l captured an American Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to capture that roach and I made him my pet. I name him Big Alan I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to him, etc. Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3 dates, and before this new date my last prior date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this new date I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I have him with me. He is like a good luck charm of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would have a good meal and he would be distracted b that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out of my pocket. Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to show her. Well let me tell you she did react very oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to explain to everyone he is just my pet. Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran. Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all of this. I have resolved I will not do any more dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I know this is unfair. But it's how I feel. tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny
Being Alone, Bad, and Funny: reddit
 Hello,
 A few months ago l captured an American
 Cockroach in my studio apartment. In my
 apartment, I see a roach from time to time. Nota
 ton of bunches of roaches, like say, 2 or 3 a
 month. Most often I smashed them or sprayeda
 poison on them. But one time l thought, maybe
 this is a bad thing? Why should a roach be killed
 ust because it is a bug? Well I decided to
 capture that roach and I made him my pet. I
 name him Big Alan
 I keep Big Alan in a little aquarium, but I also
 take him out a lot to hold him, pet him, speak to
 him, etc.
 Well, let me tell you in my life I have had only3
 dates, and before this new date my last prior
 date was in October 2009. So may I say that, of
 course, I admit I was very nervous to go on this
 new date
 I find that Big Alan keeps me very calm when I
 have him with me. He is like a good luck charm
 of sorts, and as my pet he is my good friend, so l
 know that if he is with me I am not alone. It may
 seem silly but it is like he is a courage bug

 So on my date I kept Big Alan in my front shirt
 pocket, and I put bacon bits in there so he would
 have a good meal and he would be distracted b
 that and not crawl awav. Well it did not work
 exactly this way. You see, a roach like Big Alan
 has very long antennae. If you have ever seen a
 cockroach you know that's a fact. Well at some
 point I guess this damned rascal was tired of his
 bacon bits and his antennae were poking up out
 of my pocket.
 Well I have to tell you that she did see this. I did
 not want to cause a fright so l explained it is just
 my pet, and I took Big Alan out of my pocket to
 show her. Well let me tell you she did react very
 oorly to this, and even screamed. And everyone
 turned and saw I had a roach in my hands and
 just about everyone reacted very badly. I had to
 explain to everyone he is just my pet.
 Well I was finding this extremely embarrassing
 and also l feared for the safety of Big Alan to be
 honest. So I ran out of that place. Yes, ran.

 Well now I am quite shamed and angered by all
 of this. I have resolved I will not do any more
 dates. That's for sure. But I wish Big Alan had
 not poked his antennae out. He didn't know the
 deal but even so T am slightly annoyed at him. I
 know this is unfair. But it's how I feel.
tripropellant:

mysteryho:

yeezusplease:

big alan did nothing wrong

i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality telling an ambling story


this is such a powerful example of how tone and phrasing can be jokes on their own. if this guy wrote this like a normal person it’d be mildly funny but mostly a little sad but because he wrote it how he did it’s indescribably funny

tripropellant: mysteryho: yeezusplease: big alan did nothing wrong i like how this is written like an american 1950s radio personality t...

Ass, Condom, and Doctor: The counter giri told me birth ol anyway I was I thad sex without a condom, but IIm on the pime Stim, l left Walmart immediately to purchase Plan B the guy's house& drove to 45 & in a locked case, btw Employee an] old woman shot a look, only said God have mercy' after I smiled/thenked (her" "The first time ltried to go on contraception.. sald he wouldnt prescribe ft, as it would promote promiseuous activity the doctor Ivisited NDC 51285-942-88 PlanB Rx only for womern younger than age 17 pill the pharmacist scowled, scoffed and loudly asked if I wanted the generie, ['d have to responsible and take two pills over 12 hours, she sald, but it would save me a few bucks in the end. morning-after e Tablet the phrase "Whenluttered' tected sex sooner you tak etter Plan B be more save-me-grunkle-ford: roseynopes: stylemic: What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control Even when pharmacists do let people access contraception, whether emergency contraception or condoms or prescription birth control pills, the process isn’t always free of judgment. In a series of recent online discussions, people across the country have begun to share stories of the stigma they’ve experienced. As many have pointed out, this can be especially damaging to teens. DO YOU SEE THIS? PHARMACY EMPLOYEES IN THE U.S. ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO THIS. THAT GOES FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE FRONT AS WELL AS PEOPLE IN WHITE COATS BEHIND THE CAGE. If an employee in a pharmacy makes a snide comment - Front store workers, pharmacists, or Pharmacy Techs give you shit? Gently (Or not so gently) remind them that the waiver they signed upon being hired legally binds them from commenting on your purchase, as it is a violation of privacy laws. Doing so is grounds for INSTANT termination and hefty fines. Pharmacy workers (white coats) are legally obligated to ASK if you need an explanation of how medication works and any side effects, any medication conflicts etc. If you decline, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO MAKE SNIDE REMARKS OR FARTHER COMMENT ON YOUR PURCHASE. FRONT STORE EMPLOYEES CAN NOT AT ALL COMMENT IN ANY WAY, IN ANY STORE WITH A PHARMACY IN IT. Know your rights. If this shit happens? Call them the fuck out and ask to speak to a manager. Get worked up. Cause a scene. Threaten a Lawsuit. If you see this happening to someone else, and they seem to be struggling, speak up for them.  As a Pharmacy worker, you bet your ass I’ll protect you and your privacy. IT’S MY JOB. REBLOG THIS I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR BLOG IS THIS IS SOMETHING EVERYONE SHOULD SEE
Ass, Condom, and Doctor: The counter giri told me
 birth
 ol anyway
 I was

 I thad sex without a condom, but IIm on the
 pime Stim, l left
 Walmart immediately to purchase Plan B
 the guy's house& drove to
 45 & in a locked case, btw Employee
 an] old woman shot a look, only said God
 have mercy' after I smiled/thenked (her"

 "The first time ltried to go on
 contraception..
 sald he wouldnt prescribe ft, as it
 would promote promiseuous activity
 the doctor Ivisited

 NDC 51285-942-88
 PlanB
 Rx only for womern
 younger than age 17
 pill the pharmacist scowled, scoffed and
 loudly asked if I wanted the generie, ['d
 have to responsible and take two
 pills over 12 hours, she sald, but it would
 save me a few bucks in the end.
 morning-after
 e Tablet
 the phrase
 "Whenluttered'
 tected sex
 sooner you tak
 etter Plan B
 be more
save-me-grunkle-ford:
roseynopes:

stylemic:

What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control
Even when pharmacists do let people access contraception, whether emergency contraception or condoms or prescription birth control pills, the process isn’t always free of judgment. In a series of recent online discussions, people across the country have begun to share stories of the stigma they’ve experienced. As many have pointed out, this can be especially damaging to teens.

DO YOU SEE THIS? PHARMACY EMPLOYEES IN THE U.S. ARE NOT LEGALLY ALLOWED TO DO THIS. THAT GOES FOR THE PEOPLE AT THE FRONT AS WELL AS PEOPLE IN WHITE COATS BEHIND THE CAGE.
If an employee in a pharmacy makes a snide comment - Front store workers, pharmacists, or Pharmacy Techs give you shit? Gently (Or not so gently) remind them that the waiver they signed upon being hired legally binds them from commenting on your purchase, as it is a violation of privacy laws. Doing so is grounds for INSTANT termination and hefty fines.
Pharmacy workers (white coats) are legally obligated to ASK if you need an explanation of how medication works and any side effects, any medication conflicts etc. If you decline, THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED AT ALL TO MAKE SNIDE REMARKS OR FARTHER COMMENT ON YOUR PURCHASE. FRONT STORE EMPLOYEES CAN NOT AT ALL COMMENT IN ANY WAY, IN ANY STORE WITH A PHARMACY IN IT.
Know your rights. If this shit happens? Call them the fuck out and ask to speak to a manager. Get worked up. Cause a scene. Threaten a Lawsuit. If you see this happening to someone else, and they seem to be struggling, speak up for them.  
As a Pharmacy worker, you bet your ass I’ll protect you and your privacy. IT’S MY JOB.


REBLOG THIS
I DONT CARE WHAT YOUR BLOG IS
THIS IS SOMETHING EVERYONE SHOULD SEE

save-me-grunkle-ford: roseynopes: stylemic: What it’s like to be slut-shamed when buying birth control Even when pharmacists do let people...