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Beautiful, Life, and School: flowersinbonecages: 19 delete edit You're pathetic. Please kill yourself Anonymous The other day I was very seriously contemplating suicide. Had I received a message like this then, I legitimately believe I would have attempted to take my own life. Unfortunately for you, two days ago a littie boy saved me. I didn't even know him -yet as we passed each other he said I was beautiful and deserved to live. Just like that. As tumbir becomes more populated, the amount of times I see hate on my dash is becoming more frequent. Often after my initial fury at seeing the cruel message dies down, I wonder what it is in the anonymous' life that has made them so bitter, heartless and cold, that they feel compelled to tell someone that they are not beautiful or are undeserving of life. I have failed to think of anything. I can find no reasons for such inhumanity. 3 weeks ago, a 13 year old girl from my town committed suicide because she was being bullied. The amount of people it affected is astounding. Her father is going to walk her down the aisle in a coffin as oppose to a beautiful white wedding dress. He's probably going to cry himself to sleep tonight like he has done since she she died. He still remembers holding her the day she was born and promising to protect her no matter what. Her mum is never going to teach her how to put her new born baby to sleep. She is never going to have a first kiss. Have sex. Travel the world. Feel the rush of relief when she finishes her final exam. Turn eighteen. Have a baby. Feel anxious when her child goes to school for the first time. Someone murdered her with their words. Someone like you. I'm naive to think you will never send hate again, but please learn two things from my response. 1. t takes a few kind words to save someones life. 2. It takes a few cruel words to take someones life. VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM epicjohndoe: Such A Beautiful Thought
Beautiful, Life, and School: flowersinbonecages:
 19 delete edit
 You're pathetic. Please kill yourself
 Anonymous
 The other day I was very seriously contemplating suicide. Had I received a
 message like this then, I legitimately believe I would have attempted to take my
 own life. Unfortunately for you, two days ago a littie boy saved me. I didn't
 even know him -yet as we passed each other he said I was beautiful and
 deserved to live. Just like that.
 As tumbir becomes more populated, the amount of times I see hate on my
 dash is becoming more frequent. Often after my initial fury at seeing the cruel
 message dies down, I wonder what it is in the anonymous' life that has made
 them so bitter, heartless and cold, that they feel compelled to tell someone
 that they are not beautiful or are undeserving of life. I have failed to think of
 anything. I can find no reasons for such inhumanity.
 3 weeks ago, a 13 year old girl from my town committed suicide because she
 was being bullied. The amount of people it affected is astounding. Her father
 is going to walk her down the aisle in a coffin as oppose to a beautiful white
 wedding dress. He's probably going to cry himself to sleep tonight like he has
 done since she she died. He still remembers holding her the day she was
 born and promising to protect her no matter what.
 Her mum is never going to teach her how to put her new born baby to sleep.
 She is never going to have a first kiss. Have sex. Travel the world. Feel the
 rush of relief when she finishes her final exam. Turn eighteen. Have a baby.
 Feel anxious when her child goes to school for the first time.
 Someone murdered her with their words. Someone like you.
 I'm naive to think you will never send hate again, but please learn two things
 from my response.
 1. t takes a few kind words to save someones life.
 2. It takes a few cruel words to take someones life.
 VIA THEMETAPICTURE.COM
epicjohndoe:

Such A Beautiful Thought

epicjohndoe: Such A Beautiful Thought

College, England, and Facebook: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.
College, England, and Facebook: lacinari:

himynameisizzy:
ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ...

Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media. Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*
Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart:

lacinari:
himynameisizzy:

ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*

pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on...

Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️ The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online. Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others.  Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see. –> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <– Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide. Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me? My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way.  I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄 So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media. Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*
Ass, College, and England: pinky–heart:

lacinari:
himynameisizzy:

ressila:


z-yess:

ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday:

grunge-aesthetic-lover:

Over 75% of people lie on social media ‼️
The truth is that people tend to lie on social networks. How? First, people directly lie about their lives, which is often an effort to make themselves look more desirable or positive. In a study examining 80 online daters, Hancock, Toma, and Ellison found that two thirds of participants lied about their weight by five pounds or more. In a large sample of over 2000 people in England conducted by Custard.com, 43 percent of men admitted to making up facts about themselves and their lives that were not true online.
Even more commonly, people “lie” by presenting an image of themselves and their lives that is imprecise or less than comprehensive, leading the viewer to believe falsehoods. For example, in the Custard.com study, only 18 percent of men and 19 percent of women reported that their Facebook page displayed “a completely accurate reflection” of who they are. Most commonly, participants said that they only shared “non-boring” aspects of their lives (32 percent) and were not as “active” as their social media accounts appeared (14 percent). 
Indeed, a growing body of research suggests that social media use can negatively affect your psychological health, particularly if you compare yourself to the positive images you see online. In a study of 339 college women (Puglia, 2017), the tendency to compare oneself to others was associated with poorer body esteem. Furthermore, in a sub-sample of 58 women in the Puglia study, those with higher levels of Facebook usage displayed lower body satisfaction than those with lower Facebook usage. Similarly, in an experimental study by Vogel and colleagues, participants who tended to compare themselves to others more regularly had lower self-esteem, more negative emotions, and a poorer view of themselves after using Facebook than participants who did not tend to compare themselves to others. 
Consequently, when engaging with social media, it is critical to remind yourself that what you see is not an accurate picture of reality. Don’t compare yourself to the images of friends, colleagues, or celebrities. Remind yourself that it is just a snapshot of their life—and one that they want you to see.
–> YOU CAN GET SOCIAL MEDIA SERIOUSLY HARMS YOUR MENTAL HEALTH PHONE CASE HERE <–
Every purchase supports The American Foundation for Suicide Prevention the nation’s largest non-profit dedicated to saving lives and bringing hope to those affected by suicide.

Fake life for “like’s” of people, which you will not meet =) And this is our future? Thank’s, but I don’t want to be a part of this madness. Who’s with me?

My brother never had a social media account ever in his life, not Facebook or Instagram and he is only 23 years old. his life is worry free and he only does things for himself not to impress others, He is living a happy life I am working on being like him

I really love this message. It’s proven that social media increases depression and loneliness. Just live your life and stop worrying about others to compare yourself, you will never be happy this way. 


I really don’t get why people feel the need to lie about their lives to people they’ll never meet. Just be fuckin honest🙄

So I’ve been wanting this case for a week and I get to show off my new white xr while also sharing an important message about social media being harmful to your mental health. I like this case a lot and more people need to realize the harm of social media.

Question: Does Social Media Seriously Harms Your Mental Health?Answer: Yesssss!! I could go on and on about this.Social media as a whole, particularly Instagram, a place where people Look extremely High Fashioned but really Under Paid.Where self-worthy is based on how many likes, views and comments our posts gets. It’s B.S if you ask me:/ Seen friends who care more bout portraying an image and worry more about Trivial things( there’s more to life🤷🏻‍♂️). As soon as you open your social medias you will see something that will makes you think you’re being left behind. Being materialistic stuff or body image, anything really.Society teaches us that if our instagram posts don’t have a certain number of likes or views, our posts are not accepted of instagram quality posting given by society’s expectations and standards.On the flip side on the coin, social media is a really funny ass place, like you could LMAO day literally.POINT IS YOU DONT NEED SOCIAL APPROVAL TO KNOW YOUR SELF WORTH. YOU ARE LEGIT AWESOME! *USE SOCIAL MEDIA WISELY*

pinky–heart: lacinari: himynameisizzy: ressila: z-yess: ireallyenjoymyselfeveryday: grunge-aesthetic-lover: Over 75% of people lie on...

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: hancreates:Drawing based on one of my favorite ML fics, Sting by KryallaOrchid! Cannot recommend it enough, seriously!!
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: hancreates:Drawing based on one of my favorite ML fics, Sting by KryallaOrchid! Cannot recommend it enough, seriously!!

hancreates:Drawing based on one of my favorite ML fics, Sting by KryallaOrchid! Cannot recommend it enough, seriously!!

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟ it’s back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.  im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.  @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don’t understand how this happened. But here’s a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yoǘ̻̬͓͎̣̟̩̦͢ ͪ̂̀̆҉̳̘̝̺̀l͇̬̹̞̻̥͕̥̗̒̎ͩ̋ͥ͆e͙̭̭̠̣̠̊́ͩ̂̓̀ṃ̛̍̂͛̈̏o̠̪̪ͤ͗͘n̵͉̣ͭͧ̿ͧ͛̀s̷̠͑ͬͫͦ̅͡ ̸͐ͤ͘҉̦̺M̰̹͙͇ͮ̉ͫͅȦ̻̔̅̇̑ͭ͛͋͘K̠̻̫̤̇̀ͥE͂ͪ͏̱̤͚͕ ̞͔̜̬̑ͯ͑͢ͅŞ͔̦̩̳̣̖ͮ͊ͨA͈̓͂̈́̀̀̚͘C̡̠̟͉ͪ͆̔ͤ͂ͪR̬͙͕ͪ̀͠Ĩ̵̖͚̑̊̓́F͎͕̄Iͬͧ̀̂̑ͪ͟͏̴̪̤ͅC̢̰̝͓̗͛ͬ̔̍̓́́̚̚Ḙ̶̠̰̳̩̳̊ͭͮ̇̇̚̕S̻͖̣̰̒̈͟

it’s back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city’s attention an irregularity surrounding this summer’s citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha’s hand to me
they’re a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha’s hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha’s hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty ‘arms’ are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha’s hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway. 
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit. 


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh… it’s mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It’s big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.  YAMAOG also finds out that it’s REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda’s palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.  In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you’ve had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it’s only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it’s actually rotting, it’s safe to eat!  weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerf...

Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M S youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.] Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them. THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH) They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE. They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. “If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job. They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck. They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. “Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it. LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by turning on their side and using them as wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless floating garbage i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees be nice to them they’re doing their best :(
Alive, Apparently, and Bad: ORihad Herrma M
 S
youmakemelikecharity:

rock-moms:

vastderp:

gaybuttfuckzone:

deltasniper1000:

So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the ocean sunfish so much, and apparently it was ~too mean~ and was deleted. To perpetuate the truth and stand up for ethical journalism, I’m posting it here. [Rated NC-17 for language.]

Disclaimer, I care about marine life more than I care about anything else, for real. Except this big dumb idiot. And it’s not like an ~ironic~ thing, I mean it IS hilarious to me and they ARE THE BIGGEST JOKE PLAYED ON EARTH but I seriously fucking hate them.

THE MOLA MOLA FISH (OR OCEAN SUNFISH)

They are the world’s largest boney fish, weighing up to 5,000 pounds. And since they have very little girth, that just makes them these absolutely giant fucking dinner plates that God must have accidentally dropped while washing dishes one day and shrugged his shoulders at because no one could have imagined this would happen. AND WITH NO PURPOSE. EVERY POUND OF THAT IS A WASTED POUND AND EVERY FOOT OF IT (10 FT BY 14 FT) IS WASTED SPACE.

They are so completely useless that scientists even debate about how they move. They have little control other than some minor wiggling. Some say they must just push water out of their mouths for direction (?????). They COULD use their back fin EXCEPT GUESS WHAT IT DOESNT FUCKING GROW. It just continually folds in on itself, so the freaking cells are being made, this piece of floating garbage just doesn’t put them where they need to fucking go. 

So they don’t have swim bladders. You know, the one thing that every fish has to make sure it doesn’t just sink to the bottom of the ocean when they stop moving and can stay the right side up. This creature. That can barely move to begin with. Can never stop its continuous tour of idiocy across the ocean or it’ll fucking sink. EXCEPT. EXCEPT. When they get stuck on top of the water! Which happens frequently! Because without the whole swim bladder thing, if the ocean pushes over THE THINNEST BUT LARGEST MOST TOPPLE-ABLE FISH ON THE PLANET, shit outta luck! There is no creature on this earth that needs a swim bladder more than this spit in the face of nature, AND YET. Some scientists have speculated that when they do that, they are absorbing energy from the sun because no one fucking knows how they manage to get any real energy to begin with. So they need the sun I guess. But good news, when they end up stuck like that, it gives birds a chance to land on their goddamn island of a body and eat the bugs and parasites out of its skin because it’s basically a slowly migrating cesspool. Pros and cons. 

“If they are so huge, they must at least be decent predators.” No. No. The most dangerous thing about them is, as you may have guessed, their stupidity. They have caused the death of one person before. Because it jumped onto a boat. On a human. And in 2005 it decided to relive its mighty glory days and do it again, this time landing on a four-year-old boy. Luckily Byron sustained no injuries. Way to go, fish. Great job.

They mostly only eat jellyfish because of course they do, they could only eat something that has no brain and a possibility of drifting into their mouths I guess. Everything they do eat has almost zero nutritional value and because it’s so stupidly fucking big, it has to eat a ton of the almost no nutritional value stuff to stay alive. Dumb. See that ridiculous open mouth? (This is actually why this is my favorite picture of one, and I have had it saved to my phone for three years) “Oh no! What could have happened! How could this be!” Do not let that expression fool you, they just don’t have the goddamn ability to close their mouths because their teeth are fused together, and ya know what, it is good it floats around with such a clueless expression on its face, because it is in fact clueless as all fuck.

They do SOMETIMES get eaten though. BUT HARDLY. No animal truly uses them as a food source, but instead (which has lead us to said photo) will usually just maim the fuck out of them for kicks. Seals have been seen playing with their fins like frisbees. Probably the most useful thing to ever come from them. 

“Wow, you raise some good points here, this fish truly is proof that God has abandoned us.” Yes, thank you. “But if they’re so bad at literally everything, why haven’t they gone extinct.” Great question. 

BECAUSE THIS THING IS SO WORTHLESS IT DOESNT REALIZE IT SHOULD NOT EXIST. IT IS SO UNAWARE OF LITERALLY FUCKING EVERYTHING THAT IT DOESNT REALIZE THAT IT’S DOING MAYBE THE WORST FUCKING JOB OF BEING A FISH, OR DEBATABLY THE WORST JOB OF BEING A CLUSTER OF CELLS THAN ANY OTHER CLUSTER OF CELLS. SO WHAT DOES IT DO? IT LAYS THE MOST EGGS OUT OF EVERYTHING. Besides some bugs, there are some ants and stuff that’ll lay more. IT WILL LAY 300 MILLION EGGS AT ONE TIME. 300,000,000. IT SURVIVES BECAUSE IT WOULD BE STATISTICALLY IMPROBABLE, DARE I SAY IMPOSSIBLE, THAT THERE WOULDNT BE AT LEAST ONE OF THOSE 300,000,000 (that is EACH time they lay eggs) LEFT SURVIVING AT THE END OF THE DAY. 

And this concludes why I hate the fuck out of this complete failure of evolution, the Ocean Sunfish. If I ever see one, I will throw rocks at it.


LIVE OCEAN SUNFISH UPDATE: FISH DISCOVERED TO BE MORE DUMB THAN PREVIOUSLY THOUGHTSo
 the top and bottom fins kind of wiggle all of the time and they are not
 sure exactly why but think it’s stabilization. BUT they can jump by 
turning on their side and using them as 
wing type things. It is suspected they do this as a way of “scratching” 
their parasite ridden bodies. So learning that I was like “huh okay they
 have a skill.” Then I discovered this: Since they 
are so terrible at swimming, the current will carry them into deep cold 
water. Then they die. So I have learned that they are so stupid they 
just get slowly consumed by a freezing death. All while they have the 
full ability for that to not happen. Because they’re fucking worthless 
floating garbage



i read this out loud to my marine bio nerd friend and she agrees


be nice to them they’re doing their best :(

youmakemelikecharity: rock-moms: vastderp: gaybuttfuckzone: deltasniper1000: So someone in a group asked me to tell them why I hate the...

Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS STUCK IN MY GILLS! I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS! WHITETIP SHARK CLEANER WRASSE I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS I NEED NECTAR TO EAT! TICKSEED FLOWERS BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL, BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER! COMMON RAVEN COYOTE I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS! I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED! COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA DOTTED HUMMING FROG M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM /w/Av[ paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?) Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.” The himan one is not as good as the rest If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom. While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper: The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or human sounds of similar amplitude. That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!! What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real. Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read: Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer for this. OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link] @metalpaca
Animals, Deer, and Fucking: I HAVE TINY CRUSTACEANS
 STUCK IN MY GILLS!
 I'M HUNGRY FOR SEA BUGS!
 WHITETIP SHARK
 CLEANER WRASSE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO CARRY
 MY POLLEN TO OTHER FLOWERS
 I NEED NECTAR TO EAT!
 TICKSEED FLOWERS
 BUCKEYE BUTTERFLY
 l'M LOOKING FOR A BIG MEAL,
 BUT I NEED HELP FINDING A DEER
 I WANT TO EAT VENISON, BUT
 I'M TOO SMALL TO HUNT DEER!
 COMMON RAVEN
 COYOTE
 I NEED SOMEONE TO KEEP
 ANTS FROM EATING MY EGGS!
 I WANT A HOME WITH A BODYGUARD
 AND FREE ANT DELIVERY INCLUDED!
 COLOMBIAN LESSERBLACK TARANTULA
 DOTTED HUMMING FROG
 M. TILLERY - CYANEUS.COM
 /w/Av[
paramud:

personal-scientist:
draconym:

themaishi:

draconym:

Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why do so many of my big work projects revolve around Valentine’s programs?)
Also, by “sea bugs,” I obviously meant “gnathiid isopod larvae.”


The himan one is not as good as the rest 

If you mean the mutualism between humans and honeyguides, I respectfully disagree. Human/honeyguide mutualism is one of the most sophisticated interspecies relationships in the animal kingdom.
While humans have domesticated many other animals for their labor, the honeyguide remains entirely wild while electing to partner up with humans. Both humans and honeyguides have each developed specific calls to signal to one another that they are on the hunt, and these calls greatly increase the likelihood of success. According to this paper:
The production of this sound increased the probability of being guided 
by a honeyguide from about 33 to 66% and the overall probability of thus
 finding a bees’ nest from 17 to 54%, as compared with other animal or 
human sounds of similar amplitude.
That’s fucking bonkers, you guys!!! There are people out there who over the course of human history have created a sound to communicate with birds, and the birds themselves have a Human Call they use to communicate with us. There is no other wild animal you can just make noises at and immediately communicate that you want it to come help you!!!
What’s more, many scientists consider this relationship more exploitative on the honeyguide’s end than on our end! That’s unprecedented!! These birds have essentially negotiated a trade deal with humanity!!!! This is the stuff of fantasy movies, except it’s real.
Here’s an article from The Guardian about the broader implications of this kind of relationship with wild animals. It’s a good read:

Apart from with our gut bacteria, we humans don’t really have any 
mutualistic relationships with other creatures. There is no special tune
 that we can sing to magically attract nearby hedgehogs into our gardens
 to feast on slugs. There will never be a special wink that fishermen 
can offer otters, encouraging them to catch fish that we might then 
de-bone for them, in return for some of the catch. The world is poorer 
for this.



OKAY BUT the noise we make at honeyguides is one of my favorite noises there is, and if y’all haven’t heard the “BRRR-HM?” call that hunters use to summon honeyguides you are SERIOUSLY missing out. 
There’s an audio clip on the Audobon Society’s article about them [link]


@metalpaca

paramud: personal-scientist: draconym: themaishi: draconym: Mutualistic pairs for an “Odd Couples” Valentine’s program at my work. (Why ...