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Click, Facts, and Funny: 26+ Smashing Tumblr Posts That Are Not To Be Missed biggest-gaudiest-patronuses seduce me with ridiculous history facts chrownox Pineapples used to be so expensive that people would rent them for partys as prestige decoration biggest-gaudiest-patronuses that's the shit goldengaypotato Upwards of 90% of all giraffe sex is homosexual, with some males even developing intimate relationships that include fawning and cuddling with their necks. biggest-gaudiest-patronuses my first thought was "this can't possibly be based on fact" and then Giraffes Further information: Giraffe § Social life and breeding habits Male giraffes have been observed to engage in remarkably high frequen ci es of homosexual behavior. After aggressive "necking", it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each other, leading up to mounting and climax. Such interactons between males have been found to be more frequent than heterosexual coup ling [79] In one study, up to 94% of observed mounting inciden ts took pla ce between two males. The proportion of same sex activities varied between 30 and 75%, and atany given time one in twenty males were engaged in non-combative necking behavior with another male. Only 1% of same-sex moun ting inciden ts occurred between females leol biggest-gaudiest-patronuses this has nothing to do with history unclefather Historically, giraffes are gay Source:biggest-gaudiest-patronuses #welp 47,652 notes Sarcasm Goal Click to see full list 26+ Smashing Tumblr Posts That Are Not To Be Missed #funny #lol #memes #humor #tumblr
Click, Facts, and Funny: 26+ Smashing Tumblr Posts That Are Not To Be Missed
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 seduce me with ridiculous history facts
 chrownox
 Pineapples used to be so expensive that people would rent them for partys as
 prestige decoration
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 that's the shit
 goldengaypotato
 Upwards of 90% of all giraffe sex is homosexual, with some males even
 developing intimate relationships that include fawning and cuddling with their
 necks.
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 my first thought was "this can't possibly be based on fact" and then
 Giraffes
 Further information: Giraffe § Social life and breeding habits
 Male giraffes have been observed to engage in remarkably high frequen ci es of homosexual
 behavior. After aggressive "necking", it is common for two male giraffes to caress and court each
 other, leading up to mounting and climax. Such interactons between males have been found to be
 more frequent than heterosexual coup ling [79] In one study, up to 94% of observed mounting
 inciden ts took pla ce between two males. The proportion of same sex activities varied between 30
 and 75%, and atany given time one in twenty males were engaged in non-combative necking
 behavior with another male. Only 1% of same-sex moun ting inciden ts occurred between
 females leol
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 this has nothing to do with history
 unclefather
 Historically, giraffes are gay
 Source:biggest-gaudiest-patronuses #welp
 47,652 notes
 Sarcasm Goal
 Click to see full list
26+ Smashing Tumblr Posts That Are Not To Be Missed #funny #lol #memes #humor #tumblr

26+ Smashing Tumblr Posts That Are Not To Be Missed #funny #lol #memes #humor #tumblr

Apparently, Dtf, and Family: Posted by u/biguy124 8 months ago 41.9k Professors that have been offered sexual favors by students or students that have offered sexual favors to professors, what happened? nsfw Schwagbert 31.8k points 8 months ago Short story from someone I use to know: She was struggling in her Astronomy class and went in to office hours for the professor. She kept making hints and using body language to signal she was dtf, but apparently the prof just kept slowly moving the picture of his family on his desk further towards her until she left. Give Award Share Report Save Magnussens_Casserole 11.7k points Damn, that's a smart play. 8 months ago Give Award Share Report Save antianchors 4.2k points 8 months ago Astronomical Give Award Share Report Save 10 more replies 11 more replies Digitalmonster7068 17.6k points 8 months ago 3 I guess you can say that she eventually *puts on shades* ..got the picture Give Award Share Report Save 101 more replies feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses: Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.” The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone: “Study” Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk. “Then study” Thot status: PATROLLED Professors
Apparently, Dtf, and Family: Posted by u/biguy124 8 months ago
 41.9k Professors that have been offered sexual favors by students or
 students that have offered sexual favors to professors, what
 happened?
 nsfw

 Schwagbert 31.8k points 8 months ago
 Short story from someone I use to know:
 She was struggling in her Astronomy class and went in to office hours for the professor. She
 kept making hints and using body language to signal she was dtf, but apparently the prof
 just kept slowly moving the picture of his family on his desk further towards her until she
 left.
 Give Award Share Report Save
 Magnussens_Casserole 11.7k points
 Damn, that's a smart play.
 8 months ago
 Give Award Share Report Save

 antianchors 4.2k points 8 months ago
 Astronomical
 Give Award Share Report Save
 10 more replies
 11 more replies
 Digitalmonster7068 17.6k points 8 months ago 3
 I guess you can say that she eventually
 *puts on shades*
 ..got the picture
 Give Award Share Report Save
 101 more replies
feels-vining:

xubbs:

hyperazraphael:


surprisebitch:

absolutely stellar

A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-laced) math professors. She ACTUALLY sat on his desk and had a super low-cut shirt on and everything and actually leaned over to him and according to eye-witnesses:
Girl: “Oh professor, I’m really struggling but I would do ANYTHING to pass this class.”
The professor leans in until his face is just inches from hers and whispers in the same seductive tone:
“Study” 
Before promptly getting up and walking away just leaving her on the desk.


“Then study”

Thot status:
PATROLLED


Professors

feels-vining: xubbs: hyperazraphael: surprisebitch: absolutely stellar A girl at my school tried to seduce one of our (super straight-...

Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon
Advice, Ass, and Bad: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
advice-animal:

How to Fuck your Dragon

advice-animal: How to Fuck your Dragon

Ass, Bad, and Beautiful: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that Counterpoint, my good man: Bragonsuck Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling twink with a lyre. I would have standards. dragons are SUPER horny counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True Polymorph to make things interesting you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post OP is right and they should say it Dragon Bf Giont Gnol Gobin Haiting Koboid Spite As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs. Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad encounter and fuck the dragon. I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to keep that chart for reference, so That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!! That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say?? You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting sauteed OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid Don't bring shrek into this OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him on his path 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never stopped talking or singing. That was his THING 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit he managed to survive in that movie CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE AGAIN How to Fuck your Dragon
Ass, Bad, and Beautiful: the biggest lie, i think, the intemet perpetuates about D&D is that a skinny
 ittle twink of a bard just needs to roll a nat 20 to seduce a dragon
 ike a dragon...a creature with more wealth and power than any other
 creature on the planet..a creature who is easily an 11/10 when they deign
 to take humanoid formwould look at your skinny little 8 STR half-elf Bard
 whose own father doesn't even love them and go...yeah I'd like to fuck that
 Counterpoint, my good man:
 Bragonsuck
 Dragons fuck, clearly, but not just any joe blow schmoe with a big
 Charisma stat. If I'm Joseph J Dragon sitting on a small hill of gold and
 jewels I'm not gonna waste my time boning every monsterfucking tiefling
 twink with a lyre. I would have standards.
 dragons are SUPER horny
 counterpoint: even if dragons are SUPER horny they've
 got better prospects than spindly little bards!lll They could be off fucking
 cloud giants or beholders or planetars!!ll They could be having sex with
 kraken in the middle of the ocean or fire giants in the mouth of an erupting
 There is a wealth of sexual excess and opportunity available to dragons, so
 much that they do not need to be slumming it with an adventurer who
 hasn't washed his ass in a month and a half and is probably covered in
 kobold blood by the time they get to the dragon's lairl
 I don't care how many times you cast Charm Monster, the Elder Dragon
 who has probably slept with more princesses than there are princedoms is
 not going to bitel When you have bedded the most beautiful mortals on the
 Prime Material Plane on a pile of gold and jewelry you are not gonna be
 looking twice at any MOTHERFUCKEr who can't at least True
 Polymorph to make things interesting
 you're right but please shut up you are actively ruining my 10 strength
 half-elf twink bard's sexual prospects with this post
 OP is right and they should say it
 Dragon
 Bf
 Giont
 Gnol
 Gobin
 Haiting
 Koboid
 Spite
 As we can see from this most excellent chart, dragons can and will fuck
 anything. Even humans do not compare. The only species that can match
 dragons for homy-ness is, in fact, nymphs.
 Therefore your twinky-ass lil bard has as good a chance as anyone. Go
 forth and thot your way through your DM's carefully planned Big Bad
 encounter and
 fuck the dragon.
 I'm not even sure where I stand on this argument but I absolutely need to
 keep that chart for reference, so
 That chart is not proof that a dragon would fuck anything
 and youre a charlatan for pretending it does!!!
 That is a crossbreeding chart not a horny chart, and it says right on it that
 what it is tracking is the likelyhood that a union between two races would
 yield offspring. It is NOT saying that a dragon WILL fuck any of those
 creatures, just that doing so would result in a half-dragon child
 If anything this just proves siderealsandman's point the dragon could have
 any creature or being under the sun so why the fuck would it ever settle for
 a shitty PC and their+1 light leather amor. What's the bard gonna say??
 You should fuck me because you techically can?? That bitch getting
 sauteed
 OP IS CORRECT SORRY BUT THE TWINK BARD ISNT
 GETTING ANY DRAGON ASS
 a dragon fucked a donkey in shrek, your argument is invalid
 Don't bring shrek into this
 OH YEAH?? YOU WANNA DO THIS?? FINE
 CLASS TRAITS OF A BARD
 1) Your spells inspire and invigorate your allies-Donkey's role in the film
 was to inspire and invigorate Shrek to begin his hero's quest and keep him
 on his path
 2) You channel magical power through words and music Doney never
 stopped talking or singing. That was his THING
 3) Key abilities: Charisma, Intelligence, Constitution- Do we even need to
 question this?? Charisma - he managed to convince a dragon to fuck him
 He gave both Fiona and Shrek the pep-talk they needed to come to terms
 with their feelings. Intelligence-He's COLOR BLIND and stl managed to
 figure out the flowers Fiona asked for. Constitution-dude you saw the shit
 he managed to survive in that movie
 CONCLUSION-SHREK IS A DND CAMPAIGN, DONKEY IS A BARD
 THAT SEDUCED THE DRAGON. NEVER QUESTION ME IN MY HOUSE
 AGAIN
How to Fuck your Dragon

How to Fuck your Dragon