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Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling @SeitanSlut Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child to go unaccompanied. Slate @Slate 7h SLATE Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5 lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It鈥檚 awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it鈥檚 hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else鈥檚 child. I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses. 鈥擨t鈥檚 Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still Dear Sit Still, Yeah, this is your fault. It鈥檚 hugely your fault. Of course it鈥檚 hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It鈥檚 why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to 鈥渆xplore鈥 by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink. A kid 鈥渆xploring鈥 a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn鈥檛 to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to 鈥渟top running.鈥 You weren鈥檛 parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong. Your son is not ready to eat at a 鈥渕edium-nice鈥 restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald鈥檚. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course. I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip. Mend your wicked ways. And that鈥檚 the tea! It鈥檚 not complicated. Your wine glass is on your right Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in Watch your damn kids And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!
Facebook, Fast Food, and Food: Too Horny But Horny For Cuddling
 @SeitanSlut
 Ah yes. Explore a restaurant while waiters carry around
 hot food and beverages. A safe environment for a child
 to go unaccompanied.
 Slate
 @Slate 7h
 SLATE
 Our waitress told him to sit down. I'm angry she didn't speak to me before
 disciplining my kid. slate.trib.al/koyzfB5
lazy-cat-corner:
giasesshoumaru:


This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It鈥檚 awesome.
Dear Care and Feeding,
My wife and I and our 4-year-old son were out to dinner last week. It was a medium-nice restaurant, not fast food, but not super fancy either. My son is a normal, active little boy, and it鈥檚 hard for him to sit through a whole dinner, so we let him explore the restaurant a little. I noticed our waitress giving him the hairy eyeball, so we asked him to stop running. He was pretty good about it after that, but he did get underfoot when she was carrying a tray, and she spoke to him pretty sharply to go back to our table and sit down. I felt it was completely uncalled for, and she should have come and spoken to us personally instead of disciplining someone else鈥檚 child.
I tipped 5 percent and spoke briefly to her manager, who gave noncommittal replies. My wife agrees with me, but when we posted about it on Facebook, we got a lot of judgy responses.
鈥擨t鈥檚 Hard for a 4-Year-Old to Sit Still
Dear Sit Still,
Yeah, this is your fault. It鈥檚 hugely your fault. Of course it鈥檚 hard for a 4-year-old to sit still, which is why people usually stick to fast-dining establishments while working on restaurant manners. It鈥檚 why one parent usually responds to a fidgety kid who wants to 鈥渆xplore鈥 by taking him outside the restaurant, where he can get his wiggles out while not taking laps around servers precariously carrying trays of (often extremely hot) food and drink.
A kid 鈥渆xploring鈥 a restaurant is not a thing. When you did intervene, it wasn鈥檛 to get him back in his seat. It was just to instruct him to 鈥渟top running.鈥 You weren鈥檛 parenting, so a server did it for you. She was right. You were wrong.
Your son is not ready to eat at a 鈥渕edium-nice鈥 restaurant again until he is capable of behaving a little better. You can practice at home. You can practice at McDonald鈥檚. You can try a real restaurant again with the understanding that one of you may need to take him out when he starts getting the urge to run an obstacle course.
I doubt that you will do this, but I encourage you to return the restaurant, apologize to the manager for complaining about your server, and leave her a proper tip.
Mend your wicked ways.


And that鈥檚 the tea! 
It鈥檚 not complicated.
Your wine glass is on your right 
Use the fork farthest from you and work your way in
Watch your damn kids
And tip your fucking waiters! Periodt!!!

lazy-cat-corner: giasesshoumaru: This is the full question and response in case anyone is curious. It鈥檚 awesome. Dear Care and Feeding, My...

Children, Community, and Family: What do you do for self-care? Psychological health Physical health Self-awareness Spirituality What do you already do for self care? What would you like to do more of? What do you need help with? nal health Emotion lace wellnes Workp SELF-CARE WHEEL Psychological Self-awareness Sensory engagement Regul l care zealthy Exercise Self-reflection Therapy Journal Physical Be sexual. Get enough sleep Take vacations Take time off Massages Acupuncture Aromatherapy Draw Paint Go to symphony or ballet Safe housing Relax in the sun Garden Read a self-help book . Join a Bubblebaths Kiss Ask for nurture support group Think about Take a walk Turn off cell phone your positive qualities Practice asking and Get "me" time LIFE receiving help SELF-CARE WHEEL BALANCE Learn who you are Fige at you Short and Long-term Goals lection community Self-cherish Meditate Sing . Dance Play Be inspired Self-refle Make a Vision Board Foster friendships Go on dates Take yoga Play with children Bathe in the ocean Watch sunsets Find spiritual Get coffee witha friend Get out of debt Just relax Write a poem or a book . Spend time Pray Find spiritual mentor Volunteer for a cause with your family Cook out Learn to play guitar Personal Foster self-forgiveness Spiritual inspired by and adapted from "Self-Care Assessment Worksheet" from Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization by Saakvitne, Pearlman & Staff This Self-Care Wheel was of TSI/CAAP (Norton, 1996). Created by Olga Phoenix Project: Healing for Social Change (2013) Dedicated to all trauma professionals worldwide. www.OlgaPhoenix.com Emotio tional mations .ice essio gement Affir -love l Self- y "I Love You" ovie Cry Socia gh . Sa Laatch a Flirt l obby. Find a Buy yourself Cuddle with your a present pet Tell yourself 1 are e Forgiveness ic Pract and sick da Take all move Take a class ays vacation Plan your days Learn support of collesTake m Get regular Do not work during next career to say NO sion Get ervi mental Leave work at work undaries Do Set your time off not work overtime Take time for lunch Professiona outforhealth: Take care people.聽
Children, Community, and Family: What do you do for self-care?
 Psychological health
 Physical health
 Self-awareness
 Spirituality
 What do you already do for self care?
 What would you like to do more of?
 What do you need help with?
 nal health
 Emotion
 lace wellnes
 Workp

 SELF-CARE
 WHEEL
 Psychological
 Self-awareness Sensory engagement
 Regul l care
 zealthy Exercise
 Self-reflection
 Therapy Journal
 Physical
 Be sexual. Get enough sleep
 Take vacations Take time off
 Massages Acupuncture
 Aromatherapy Draw
 Paint Go to symphony or ballet
 Safe housing
 Relax in the sun Garden
 Read a self-help book . Join a
 Bubblebaths Kiss
 Ask for nurture
 support group Think about
 Take a walk Turn off
 cell phone
 your positive qualities
 Practice asking and
 Get "me" time
 LIFE
 receiving help
 SELF-CARE
 WHEEL
 BALANCE
 Learn who you are
 Fige at you
 Short and Long-term Goals
 lection
 community Self-cherish
 Meditate Sing . Dance
 Play Be inspired
 Self-refle
 Make a Vision Board
 Foster friendships Go on dates
 Take yoga Play with children
 Bathe in the ocean Watch sunsets
 Find spiritual
 Get coffee witha friend
 Get out of debt Just relax
 Write a poem or a book . Spend time
 Pray Find spiritual mentor
 Volunteer for a cause
 with your family Cook out
 Learn to play guitar
 Personal
 Foster self-forgiveness
 Spiritual
 inspired by and adapted from "Self-Care Assessment Worksheet"
 from Transforming the Pain: A Workbook on Vicarious Traumatization by Saakvitne, Pearlman & Staff
 This Self-Care Wheel was
 of TSI/CAAP (Norton, 1996). Created by Olga Phoenix Project: Healing for Social Change (2013)
 Dedicated to all trauma professionals worldwide.
 www.OlgaPhoenix.com
 Emotio
 tional
 mations
 .ice essio
 gement
 Affir
 -love
 l
 Self-
 y "I Love You"
 ovie
 Cry Socia
 gh . Sa
 Laatch a
 Flirt
 l
 obby.
 Find a
 Buy yourself
 Cuddle with
 your
 a present
 pet
 Tell yourself
 1 are
 e
 Forgiveness
 ic
 Pract
 and sick da
 Take all
 move Take a class
 ays
 vacation
 Plan your
 days Learn
 support of collesTake m
 Get regular
 Do not work during
 next career
 to say NO
 sion Get
 ervi
 mental
 Leave
 work at work
 undaries Do
 Set
 your time off
 not work overtime
 Take time for lunch
 Professiona
outforhealth:
Take care people.聽

outforhealth: Take care people.聽

Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerfun: teafortrouble: eteo: fall-for-nothing: trickster-eridan: buttpilgrim: scientificperfection: kittiesinthemorning: I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔 it鈥檚 back Satan lemon every villain is lemons And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit. And now: The Weather. This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses? @botanyshitposts do you know about this? a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽 im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽 @gallusrostromegalus WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE! The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens. All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this: It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit. YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch. Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns. If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you. GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual. Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice! @motorizedduck relevant
Bitch, Children, and Fall: arianod:

rainbowbarnacle:

alexander-lamington:

gallusrostromegalus:

jhaernyl:

botanyshitposts:


spirit-of-science:

thebloggerbloggerfun:

teafortrouble:

eteo:

fall-for-nothing:

trickster-eridan:

buttpilgrim:

scientificperfection:

kittiesinthemorning:

I just don鈥檛 understand how this happened. But here鈥檚 a picture of a lemon from my backyard

WHAT THE EVERLOVING FUCK

when life gives yo菢袒态蛽蛶蹋虩泰苔廷 酮虃虁虇覊坛虡虧毯虁l蛧态坦虨袒胎蜁胎虠虙處桐虌庭蛦e蜋汰汰虪蹋虪虋虂桐虃虛虁峁兲浱嵦偼浱執弌虪酞酞亭蜅蜆n痰蛪蹋铜艇炭艇蜎虁s谭虪蛻同瞳挺虆汀 谈蛺亭蜆覊苔毯M贪坦蜋蛧彤虊瞳蛥圈袒虜虆虈虘铜蜎蛬蜆K虪袒太踏虈虁庭E蛡酮蛷瘫踏蜌蜁 虨蛿虦态虘童蛻廷蛥艦蛿苔泰坛蹋號彤蛫通A蛨虛蛡虉虂虁虁虤蜆C獭虪虩蛪酮蛦虜亭蛡酮R态蜋蜁酮虁蜖抹痰號蜌虘虋虛虂F蛶蜁虅I同艇虁虃虘酮蜔蛷檀酞踏蛥C挞贪虧蛽虠蜎同虜虓虛虂虂虤虤岣樚短犔疤程┨程娡囂囂毺昐袒蜄蹋贪虙虉蜔

it鈥檚 back

Satan lemon

every villain is lemons

And finally, dear listeners, a reminder; several concerned citizens have brought to the city鈥檚 attention an irregularity surrounding this summer鈥檚 citrus harvest. City council would like to remind all enterprising fruit pickers to exercise reasonable caution when acquiring these fruits. Grasp the fruit firmly around its circumference, pull slowly but steadily to avoid damaging the tree, and under no circumstances heed its demands of you. Do not acknowledge or obey the depraved whisperings of the demon fruit.

And now: The Weather.

This kind of looks like a Buddha鈥檚 hand to me
they鈥檙e a type of Citron, a citrus closely related to lemons. I wonder if whatever causes that twistedness in Buddha鈥檚 hands is present but dormant/recessive in other citruses?

@botanyshitposts do you know about this?

a lot of people having been messaging me about this, and honestly i had no idea that Buddha鈥檚 hands existed and it totally seems likely to me??? like honestly that seems like a really plausible explanation, especially because when we look at the demon fruit, the twisty聽鈥榓rms鈥 are going off in all different directions when the only place i can see a twisty arm happening on a lemon is on the top. like if the fruit is developing from the original growth point into a body then why are the offshoots developing the opposite way, from a body into a twisty thing? when in a Buddha鈥檚 hand, it totally makes sense because the twisty things are growing outward anyway.聽
im no pomologist but the similarities in the growth patterns really do reflect in The Demon Fruit.聽


@gallusrostromegalus 

WAIT I KNOW THIS ONE!
The short version is that Citrus is a slutty, slutty genus of plants that can knock up pretty much any other member of the genus and uh鈥 it鈥檚 mots recent relative as of 7 million years ago, becuase why not. Usually that makes for tasty children like tangerines and whatnot, but sometimes Weird Shit happens.
All modern citrus are descended from Mandrin oranges, Pumelos and Etrogs, the latter being closest to lemons and which looks like this:
It鈥檚 big and lumpy and mostly pith but also tasty as hell so Ye Ancient Malay Archipeligo Orchard Guy gets to breeding these for more tasty innards, presumable inventing lemonade in the process.聽 YAMAOG also finds out that it鈥檚 REALLY easy to seriously mess with the overall appearence of the fruit of these very inbred etrogs, and starts breeding all kinds of nonsense, like Bhudda鈥檚 palms, Modern Lemons and Grapefruit.
YAMAOG also noticed that in addition to the occasional ugly inbred mule child, you can also get really strange looking fruit if the tree gets sick, is malnourished, if any part of the flower is damaged, or if the weather just sucks that year.聽 In addition to being a Major Slut, Citrus is also a Fussy Bitch.
Looking at the Demon Fruit, my best guesses are
If you鈥檝e had weird-shaped fruits off that tree before, you might have a very strange hybrid tree like the dachsund-pitbull one of my neighbors owns.
If it鈥檚 only the one fruit, and your tree is producing otherwise normal lemons, that particular flower or branch took some kind of damage or had a viral infection, which fucked up all the hormones and hence your lemon has gone all Ending-Of-Akira on you.
GOOD NEWS FOR BOTH SCENARIOS: unless the fruit looks like it鈥檚 actually rotting, it鈥檚 safe to eat!聽 weird fruit shapes in lemons pretty much never makes them dangerous, just maybe a bit more tart than usual.
Enjoy a nice glass of demonfruit juice!



@motorizedduck

relevant

arianod: rainbowbarnacle: alexander-lamington: gallusrostromegalus: jhaernyl: botanyshitposts: spirit-of-science: thebloggerbloggerf...

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material ALLIGATORS How To WRESTLE FREE FROM AN ALLIGATOR If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put downward pressure on its neck. This will force its head and jaws down. 2 Cover the alligator's eyes. This will usually make it more sedate. 5 feet 10 fet 15 feet 20 feet 3 Go for the eyes and nose. If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist. 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout. Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly. They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and back off. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator. How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT NEAR AN ALLIGATOR If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual actions cause severe tissue damage. Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does not begin shaking. Determine the size of the alligator. Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet should be considered deadly. cut or bruise, to treat infection. Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object. The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator. Try to determine if the alligator sees the object. Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food. 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water. If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water. Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby water 5 Make a loud noise. To get an alligator to release sometbing it bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not move, however, you will have gained its attention. 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover the object. The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its An alligator more than nine feet long is likely to be male, and males tend to be more aggressive. space. Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory. After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties, run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult human. will travel Who Has the Most Bite? ANIMAL NUMBER OF TEETH WARNING! whale Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the sharpest teeth in the world) You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water. The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch. Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any youngster lion 30: four canine, four carnassial, the rest conical human being 32 sloth bear 40 bear 42, including four canines and 12 incisors Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack without provocation. saltwater crocodile 68 to 70 alligator 80 to 88 giant armadillo up to 100 gavial (fish-eating crocodile) 102 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws Approach the alligator from behind. longspouted spinner up to 252 dolphin 2 Straddle the creature's back Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the alligator. up to 3,000 in five rows (the scariest mouth) great white shark 3 Crawl your way up to the head. 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike structures called radulae) snail Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth. Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape over the eyes of the beast. GClamp the jaws. Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin- gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth. Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the mouth is tightly closed use to open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to hold the mouth shut with bare hands. Z Take out your binding material. Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand, grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your teeth Wrap the tape six times around the snout Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s nout. WARNING! Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material that can be fied and knotted. Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open. Copyrighted Material seat igte 21 novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook
Animals, Food, and Head: Copyrighted Material
 ALLIGATORS
 How To WRESTLE FREE
 FROM AN ALLIGATOR
 If you are on land, get on the alligator's back and put
 downward pressure on its neck.
 This will force its head and jaws down.
 2 Cover the alligator's eyes.
 This will usually make it more sedate.
 5 feet
 10 fet
 15 feet
 20 feet
 3 Go for the eyes and nose.
 If you are attacked, use any weapon you have, or your fist.
 4If its jaws are closed on something you want to remove
 (a limb), tap or punch it on the snout.
 Alligators often open their mouth when tapped lightly.
 They may drop whatever it is they have taken hold of and
 back off.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of the alligator.
 How To RETRIEVE AN OBJECT
 NEAR AN ALLIGATOR
 If the alligator gets you in its jaws, you must prevent it
 from shaking you or from rolling over-these instinctual
 actions cause severe tissue damage.
 Try to keep the mouth clamped shut so the alligator does
 not begin shaking.
 Determine the size of the alligator.
 Although even small alligators can cause injury, those less
 than four feet long are not as dangerous to humans. If the
 alligator is larger than six feet, be especially wary, as a bite
 6 Seek medical attention immediately, even for a small
 can inflict major damage. Alligators larger than nine feet
 should be considered deadly.
 cut or bruise, to treat infection.
 Alligators have a huge number of pathogens in their mouths
 2 Calculate the distance from the alligator to the object.
 The immediate danger zone is within 15 feet of an alligator.
 Try to determine if the alligator sees the object.
 Alligators are attracted to objects that appear to be food.
 4 Do not stand between the alligator and water.
 If disturbed, an alligator on land will seek refuge in water.
 Make sure the alligator is between you and any nearby
 water
 5 Make a loud noise.
 To get an alligator to release sometbing it
 bas in its mouth, tap it on the snout
 Alligators are sensitive to loud noises. Yelling or screar
 ing may cause the animal to leave. If the alligator does not
 move, however, you will have gained its attention.
 6Use a long branch, pole, or golf ball retriever to recover
 the object.
 The alligator may lunge and bite at objects that invade its
 An alligator more than nine feet
 long is likely to be male, and males
 tend to be more aggressive.
 space.
 Z Quickly move away from the alligator's territory.
 After retrieving the object, or if you encounter difficulties,
 run. While alligators can move fast-they rely on surprise
 Bill Finger, professional alligator breeder

 when attacking their usual prey-they generalfrichted,Material
 only short distances and probably cannot outrun an adult
 human.
 will travel
 Who Has the Most Bite?
 ANIMAL
 NUMBER OF TEETH
 WARNING!
 whale
 Alligators are native only to the United States and China. They are
 commonly found in the southwestern United Sates, primarily the
 Gulf Coast states buft as far north as North Carolina
 red-bellied piranha 20, in two rows of 10 (the
 sharpest teeth in the world)
 You are most likely to be attocked in or at the edge of water.
 The top speed of large alligators is around 10 miles per hour
 Be especially wary during spring months, when alligators wander
 in search of mates, and during late summer, when eggs hatch.
 Mother alligators will respond aggressively to threats to their
 young, and any adult alligator may come to the aid of any
 youngster
 lion
 30: four canine, four carnassial,
 the rest conical
 human being
 32
 sloth bear
 40
 bear
 42, including four canines and
 12 incisors
 Do not assume any alligator is safe to approach. While some
 animals may be habituated to the presence of humans, alligators
 are wld animals and therefore unpredictable: they may attack
 without provocation.
 saltwater crocodile
 68 to 70
 alligator
 80 to 88
 giant armadillo
 up to 100
 gavial (fish-eating
 crocodile)
 102
 How To BIND AN ALLIGATOR'S JAWws
 Approach the alligator from behind.
 longspouted spinner up to 252
 dolphin
 2 Straddle the creature's back
 Wrap your knees firmly around the midsection of the
 alligator.
 up to 3,000 in five rows (the
 scariest mouth)
 great white shark
 3 Crawl your way up to the head.
 10,000 to 30,000 (toothlike
 structures called radulae)
 snail
 Cover the alligator's eyes with a cloth.
 Use a thick piece of fabric or your own clothing to drape
 over the eyes of the beast.
 GClamp the jaws.
 Press down with your thumbs on the top and hold your fin-
 gers tightly underneath. The muscles that alligators
 5 Push the alligator's snout down to close its mouth.
 Lean forward and press firmly down on the snout until the
 mouth is tightly closed
 use to
 open their jaws are actually quite weak, so it is possible to
 hold the mouth shut with bare hands.
 Z Take out your binding material.
 Maintaining your grip on the gator's snout with one hand,
 grab your duct tape and tug free a two-foot strip with your
 teeth
 Wrap the tape
 six times around
 the snout
 Wind the tape six times around the alligator's s
 nout.
 WARNING!
 Lacking duct tape, you should bind the jaws of an aligator with
 rope, belt hick cloth (heavy shirt or pants), or any other material
 that can be fied and knotted.
 Never approach an alligatar head-on when its mouth is open.
 Copyrighted Material
 seat igte 21
novelty-gift-ideas:

Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

novelty-gift-ideas: Ultimate Worst-Case Scenario Survival Handbook

Children, Clothes, and Fail: gaming: Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game聽 Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We鈥檙e talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn鈥檛 get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there鈥檚 a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond. The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding聽designed聽the music. There鈥檚 also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on! What鈥檚 the story behind the title of the game? This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It鈥檚 become one of the best things about the game, and I鈥檓 so glad we stuck with it. I will say it鈥檚 a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you 鈥渙h, what game are you working on?鈥澛 How did the team come up with the animation style? The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime鈥攚ith big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics鈥攍ines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc. Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect? Because it鈥檚 a game that鈥檚 largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character鈥檚 awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it鈥檚 less restrictive than most stealth games, and there鈥檚 no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they鈥檒l think 鈥渁h, there鈥檚 a goose鈥 rather than 鈥淚鈥檇 better shoot and kill that spy鈥), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game. If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why? It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children鈥檚 television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we鈥檙e always open to having the goose in Smash. Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the聽website to find out how you can get your hands聽wings on Untitled Goose Game!
Children, Clothes, and Fail: gaming:
Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game聽
Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today! We鈥檙e talking, of course, of Untitled Goose Game, a slapstick simulator, where you play a goose hassling a town full of people who would very much like you to stop hassling them, please. It feels a bit like playing the videogame version of an old cartoon, complete with reactive soundtrack. Everything that happens in the game is very low stakes (the goose doesn鈥檛 get involved in political scandals, or drive a car off a ramp etc.), but there鈥檚 a lot of room for comedic performance in doing things like stealing clothes off a washing line and dumping them in a pond.
The team at House House shares roles a lot, and so the game was predominantly designed collaboratively by four people. We chatted with Stuart Gillespie-Cook, who mostly works on animation. Also within House House is Jake Strasser, largely responsible for the design of levels and environments, Nico Disseldorp who does all the programming, and Michael McMaster who mostly works on art direction and UI. The iconic sound effects were made by Em Halberstadt, and Dan Golding聽designed聽the music. There鈥檚 also art from Kalonica Quigley and additional UI programming from Cherie Davidson. Stuart Gave us the lowdown on the curious title, the game mechanics, and dream crossovers. Read on!
What鈥檚 the story behind the title of the game?
This more or less happened by accident; at first, we just needed something to put on a video we were submitting to a festival. It鈥檚 become one of the best things about the game, and I鈥檓 so glad we stuck with it. I will say it鈥檚 a weird thing to explain when your very not-online hairdresser asks you 鈥渙h, what game are you working on?鈥澛 
How did the team come up with the animation style?
The whole visual style of the game is designed to be nice and clean, very readable and approachable. The animation specifically takes a lot of inspiration from slapstick and pantomime鈥攚ith big, over the top reactions that are impossible to miss. We wanted to squeeze as much emotion as possible out of these people without facial expressions, so everything has to be evoked with body language. We also lean heavily on two dimensional, hand-drawn effects that are lifted from comics鈥攍ines to represent the direction of a honk, stars when someone hits their thumb with a hammer, etc.


Untitled Goose Game offers a unique take on the puzzle genre. What other mechanics can we expect?
Because it鈥檚 a game that鈥檚 largely about interacting with a bunch of people, the game borrows heavily from AI systems in stealth games. Playing with a character鈥檚 awareness of where the goose is, where they left their stuff, where that sound came from etc. is a big part of the comedy of the game. So, while it鈥檚 less restrictive than most stealth games, and there鈥檚 no real fail state (ie. if a character sees a goose, they鈥檒l think 鈥渁h, there鈥檚 a goose鈥 rather than 鈥淚鈥檇 better shoot and kill that spy鈥), those explicit behaviours that are so present in the stealth genre are really important in our goose game.
If you could have the goose cross over into any cinematic or game universe, what would it be and why?
It would be nice to see the goose chase Postman Pat over a hedgerow. That era of British children鈥檚 television has been a huge influence on the game. Otherwise, we鈥檙e always open to having the goose in Smash.
Are you ready to fulfill your wildest dreams of becoming a mischevious goose and harassing people? Of course you are! Check out the聽website to find out how you can get your hands聽wings on Untitled Goose Game!

gaming: Indie Game Spotlight: Untitled Goose Game聽 Oh, boy, do we have an extra super horrible Indie Game Spotlight exclusive for you today!...

Tumblr, Blog, and Haven: shamanofthewilds: Thrall body appreciation from the cinematic Safe Haven
Tumblr, Blog, and Haven: shamanofthewilds:

Thrall body appreciation from the cinematic Safe Haven

shamanofthewilds: Thrall body appreciation from the cinematic Safe Haven

God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all, not without Obi-Wan's permission "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between them Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could sense a shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete, droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside, under the stars Only those of us who have been slaves can he sometimes thought. really taste freedom, gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.聽 I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don鈥檛, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets聽that Anakin isn鈥檛 quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.聽 It鈥檚 just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin鈥撯漞ither you obey a rule or you do not鈥 is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that鈥檚 not necessarily a judgement thing.聽 Obi-Wan himself is聽鈥渂reaking the rules鈥 by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it鈥檚 for the good.聽 It fits so much with how it鈥檚 not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you鈥檙e doing, the motivation behind it, the why聽of it, the bigger context of it.聽 That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it鈥檚 tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.聽 He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s.聽鈥淥bi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.聽 He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.鈥 oh my god聽Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan,聽鈥淗e鈥檚 the greatest person who ever lived, he鈥檚 the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.鈥漇AME, ANAKIN.聽 SAME.聽 RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.
God, Jedi, and Life: Technically, he wasn't supposed to be outside the Temple at all,
 not without Obi-Wan's permission
 "Technically" is just another way of saying you are breaking the
 rules, Obi-Wan would say. Either you obey a rule, or you do not
 He was devoted to his Master, yet sometimes Obi-Wan's
 earnestness could really get in the way. Anakin didn't believe in
 breaking Jedi rules. He just wanted to find the spaces between
 them
 Anakin was well aware that his Master knew of these
 midnight jaunts. Obi-Wan was amazingly perceptive. He could
 sense a shift in emotion or
 thought faster than an eyeblink
 Thank the moon and stars that Obi-Wan also preferred not to
 hear about his midnight trips. As long as Anakin was discreet
 and didn't get into trouble, Obi-Wan would turn a blind eye
 Anakin didn't want to trouble Obi-Wan, but he couldn't help
 himself. As the night wore on and the Temple quieted, as the
 Jedi students turned off their glow rods and settled down for
 night meditation and sleep, Anakin just got restless. The lure of
 the streets called him. There were projects he had to complete,
 droids he was building or refining, parts to scavenge, rusty
 treasures to uncover. But mostly he just needed to be outside,
 under the stars
 Only those of us who have been slaves can
 he sometimes thought.
 really taste freedom,
gffa:



Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.聽 I love that he feels a restlessness that the other Jedi don鈥檛, because they grew up in a safe, secure, supportive environment, and Obi-Wan gets聽that Anakin isn鈥檛 quite the same and needs to run around a bit more.聽 It鈥檚 just FEELINGS ALL OVER THE PLACE FOR BOTH OF THEM.And I love that it shows the balance Obi-Wan is striking with Anakin鈥撯漞ither you obey a rule or you do not鈥 is cutting through to the spirit of things, but that鈥檚 not necessarily a judgement thing.聽 Obi-Wan himself is聽鈥渂reaking the rules鈥 by turning a blind eye to Anakin going out at night, because it鈥檚 for the good.聽 It fits so much with how it鈥檚 not about the letter of the law but about the spirit and intention of what you鈥檙e doing, the motivation behind it, the why聽of it, the bigger context of it.聽 That鈥檚 why it鈥檚 important to put in that Obi-Wan could sense the shift of an emotion in the blink of an eye, why it鈥檚 tied into the same context of Obi-Wan turning a blind eye when Anakin genuinely does need to get out and move.And I love that Anakin recognizes this part about himself.聽 He spends so much of his life not really understanding himself or what he really needs, that this moment of something that actually seems to help, along with how heartbreaking it is that he has to experience this feeling at all, just makes me allp.s.聽鈥淥bi-Wan was amazingly perceptive.聽 He could sense the shift in emotion or thought faster than an eyeblink.鈥 oh my god聽Anakin sounds EXACTLY LIKE ME when I talk about Obi-Wan,聽鈥淗e鈥檚 the greatest person who ever lived, he鈥檚 the smartest person who ever lived, THERE IS NO ONE BETTER.鈥漇AME, ANAKIN.聽 SAME.聽 RIGHT DOWN TO I AM MAKING THE SAME EXACT FACE WHILE READING THIS BOOK.

gffa: Way of the Apprentice | by Jude WatsonI GIVE ANAKIN A LOT OF SHIT, BUT I REALLY LIKE THIS MOMENT A LOT.聽 I love that he feels a res...