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Being Alone, Apparently, and Burger King: probablyhalfelfrpgideas vaspider gayquicksilver By the way the local New Zealand drama right now is that there's this family of British tourists in the country right now that have, on their own, been such god awful visitors that the national news and like half the country is following their exploits and they got a deportation notice. Like we literally have nothing else better to do in this country gayquicksilver chaOtician please tell me more They've been in the country 5 fucking days ok not even a week. And it started a few days ago when some people Snapchatted them leaving HEAPS of rubbish behind at Takapuna beach (one of the most expensive suburbs in the country) and people were like "hey can you pick that up" and the family got real aggressive about it including this kid who could not have been more than 5 being like "ill bash ya fookin head in m8" and this was ALL over Facebook and allegedly they were all drunk too Then later this same family was pulled over for their kids not being in proper car seats, so they got taken to the dpt store to buy some, no biggie, but u know the connection was made that this is the same family from earlier in the week Then yesterday the police got called in Hamilton to a Burger King where the SAME FAMILY is like, harassing staff and demanding free food, trying to walk through the drive thru and even after police were called it took like an hour to get them to leave Now one of the woman has been arrested for robbing some sunglasses and soft drinks or something from a gas station ehdhfgrhejehehhs I think there was more stuff. And apparently they were real fucking terrible on the flight here too. But overall the situation is just SO funny, like sure they were rude to retail workers and stole some stuff but the whole country is riled the fuck up because they left rubbish all over our beach and you do NOT get away with that shit equuslupus ris fr New Zealand fucking wild Imao Source: gayquicksilver 45,339 notes Cant the brits just leave everyone alone?
Being Alone, Apparently, and Burger King: probablyhalfelfrpgideas
 vaspider
 gayquicksilver
 By the way the local New Zealand drama
 right now is that there's this family of British
 tourists in the country right now that have, on
 their own, been such god awful visitors that
 the national news and like half the country
 is following their exploits and they got a
 deportation notice. Like we literally have
 nothing else better to do in this country
 gayquicksilver
 chaOtician
 please tell me more
 They've been in the country 5 fucking days
 ok not even a week. And it started a few
 days ago when some people Snapchatted
 them leaving HEAPS of rubbish behind at
 Takapuna beach (one of the most expensive
 suburbs in the country) and people were like
 "hey can you pick that up" and the family got
 real aggressive about it including this kid
 who could not have been more than 5 being
 like "ill bash ya fookin head in m8" and this
 was ALL over Facebook and allegedly they
 were all drunk too
 Then later this same family was pulled over
 for their kids not being in proper car seats,
 so they got taken to the dpt store to buy
 some, no biggie, but u know the connection
 was made that this is the same family from
 earlier in the week
 Then yesterday the police got called in
 Hamilton to a Burger King where the SAME
 FAMILY is like, harassing staff and demanding
 free food, trying to walk through the drive thru
 and even after police were called it took like
 an hour to get them to leave
 Now one of the woman has been arrested
 for robbing some sunglasses and soft
 drinks or something from a gas station
 ehdhfgrhejehehhs
 I think there was more stuff. And apparently
 they were real fucking terrible on the flight
 here too. But overall the situation is just
 SO funny, like sure they were rude to retail
 workers and stole some stuff but the whole
 country is riled the fuck up because they left
 rubbish all over our beach and you do NOT
 get away with that shit
 equuslupus
 ris
 fr
 New Zealand
 fucking wild Imao
 Source: gayquicksilver
 45,339 notes
Cant the brits just leave everyone alone?

Cant the brits just leave everyone alone?

Ass, Bad, and Bitch: kitfisto sandy cheeks would've voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch thecouchwitch Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this. varkarrus mr krabs would've voted trump lishadra Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand Plankton would've voted Trump You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it. arcon Bubble Bass Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit. Fuck the-collecting-turnip Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump fgsshinyhoard okay im just gonna put down my things here Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him Krabs would never respect a guy who bankrupted himself four times, he would not vote for him Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist receiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote for anyone Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad words" during their campaign. Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point. Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person. Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he's a wealthy narcissist. Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote ohdebt Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't convince me otherwise Things are heating up in the spongebob fandom (no political discourse allowed in the comments)
Ass, Bad, and Bitch: kitfisto
 sandy cheeks would've voted trump that evil
 southern rat ass bitch
 thecouchwitch
 Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who
 lives in a foreign land that she respects the
 customs of and she would be offended you
 would even accuse her of this.
 varkarrus
 mr krabs would've voted trump
 lishadra
 Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump
 Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump
 because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money
 through hard work (and being a cheapskate and
 get rich quick schemes but those still require
 some effort on his part) whereas Trump
 inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million
 dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would
 consider him an insult to richness for which he
 could not stand
 Plankton would've voted Trump
 You think he needs competition taking over the
 world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob
 would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it.
 arcon
 Bubble Bass
 Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God. Dammit.
 Fuck
 the-collecting-turnip
 Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump
 fgsshinyhoard
 okay im just gonna put down my things here
 Plankton would not want competition, he
 would not vote for him
 Krabs would never respect a guy who
 bankrupted himself four times, he would not
 vote for him
 Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist
 receiving grants from academies to further her
 research in foreign lands, so she would never
 vote for him. Also, she would never respect a
 man who made such sexist comments since
 Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet
 snail like a traditional sports coach) and she
 kicked HIS ass over a fucking field
 Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote for
 anyone
 Spongebob is too nice and would never vote
 for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad
 words" during their campaign.
 Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even
 vote because he thinks there would be no point.
 Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to
 vote
 Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian
 and would not vote for anyone that crippled
 such services
 Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because
 Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who
 enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of
 humiliating them, and would approve of such a
 person.
 Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him
 because he's a wealthy narcissist.
 Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is
 therefore not eligible to vote
 ohdebt
 Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail
 worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and
 also a firm supporter and member of the fine
 arts community. He would actively vote against
 Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't convince
 me otherwise
Things are heating up in the spongebob fandom (no political discourse allowed in the comments)

Things are heating up in the spongebob fandom (no political discourse allowed in the comments)

Ass, Bad, and Bitch: c3po sandy cheeks would ve voted trump that evil southern rat ass bitch Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who lives in a foreign land that she respects the customs of and she would be offended you would even accuse her of this. varkarrus mr krabs would've voted trump lishadra Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump. Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money through hard work (and being a cheapskate and get rich quick schemes but those still require some effort on his part) whereas Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs would consider him an insult to richness for which he could not stand Plankton would've voted Trump. You think he needs competition taking over the world? Face it folks. No one on Spongebob would vote for Trump. None of them. Face it. legarcon Bubble Bass Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God Dammit. Fuck. the-collecting-turnip Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump fgsshinyhoard okay im just gonna put down my things here Plankton would not want competition, he would not vote for him Krabs would never respect a guy who upted not vote for him himself four times, he would Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist re- ceiving grants from academies to further her research in foreign lands, so she would never vote for him. Also, she would never respect a man who made such sexist comments since Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet snail like a traditional sports coach) and she kicked HIS ass over a fucking field. Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote for anyone Spongebob is too nice and would never vote for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad words" during their campaign. Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to even vote because he thinks there would be no point. Pearl is a teenager and therefore too young to vote Larry Lobster is a trained medic and custodian and would not vote for anyone that crippled such services. Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who enjoys deceiving others just for the sake of humiliating them, and would approve of such a person. Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him because he's a wealthy narcissist. Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is therefore not eligible to vote ohdebt Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist, and also a firm supporter and member of the fine arts community. He would actively vote against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't convince me otherwise Gary is a snail, which is seemingly the cat of the Spongebob universe, so he can't vote. However, Gary is more intelligent than almost every character on that show, and would never vote for Trump if he could Source: c3po #i fucking died # she has a record 332,823 notes Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm
Ass, Bad, and Bitch: c3po
 sandy cheeks would ve voted trump that evil
 southern rat ass bitch
 Sandy Cheeks is a pro-science feminist who
 lives in a foreign land that she respects the
 customs of and she would be offended you
 would even accuse her of this.
 varkarrus
 mr krabs would've voted trump
 lishadra
 Mr Krabs absolutely would've voted trump.
 Mr. Krabs would not have voted for Trump
 because Mr. Krabs earned most of his money
 through hard work (and being a cheapskate
 and get rich quick schemes but those still
 require some effort on his part) whereas
 Trump inherited most of his wealth and thinks
 a million dollars is a small loan, Mr. Krabs
 would consider him an insult to richness for
 which he could not stand
 Plankton would've voted Trump.
 You think he needs competition taking
 over the world? Face it folks. No one on
 Spongebob would vote for Trump. None
 of them. Face it.
 legarcon
 Bubble Bass
 Shit. Dammit. Goddammit. Shit. God
 Dammit. Fuck.
 the-collecting-turnip
 Squilliam Fancyson would vote for Trump
 fgsshinyhoard
 okay im just gonna put down my things here
 Plankton would not want competition, he
 would not vote for him
 Krabs would never respect a guy who
 upted
 not vote for him
 himself four times, he would
 Sandy Cheeks is an independent scientist re-
 ceiving grants from academies to further her
 research in foreign lands, so she would never
 vote for him. Also, she would never respect a
 man who made such sexist comments since
 Spongebob did that once (to motivate his pet
 snail like a traditional sports coach) and she
 kicked HIS ass over a fucking field.
 Patrick can't spell so he couldn't vote
 for anyone
 Spongebob is too nice and would never vote
 for anyone who used such inappropriate "bad
 words" during their campaign.
 Squidward is too lazy and defeatist to
 even vote because he thinks there would
 be no point.
 Pearl is a teenager and therefore too
 young to vote
 Larry Lobster is a trained medic and
 custodian and would not vote for anyone that
 crippled such services.
 Bubble Bass WOULD vote for him because
 Bass is an arrogant self-entitled prick who
 enjoys deceiving others just for the sake
 of humiliating them, and would approve
 of such a person.
 Squilliam Fancyson would also vote for him
 because
 he's a wealthy narcissist.
 Mrs. Puff has a criminal record and is
 therefore not eligible to vote
 ohdebt
 Squidward is a full time minimum wage retail
 worker who is pro-union and anti-capitalist,
 and also a firm supporter and member of the
 fine arts community. He would actively vote
 against Trump, defeatist or not, and you can't
 convince me otherwise
 Gary is a snail, which is seemingly the cat
 of the Spongebob universe, so he can't vote.
 However, Gary is more intelligent than almost
 every character on that show, and would never
 vote for Trump if he could
 Source: c3po #i fucking died
 # she has a record
 332,823 notes
Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm

Squidward is a socialist Change My Mindtm

Being Alone, Black Friday, and Christmas: el UNSAFE On CompuS scriminated against? Threatened Afrad to walk arund campus? We will walk with you ginger-ale-official: warriormale: yuuri-katsuki-on-ice: ladyflowdi: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: blackphoenix1977: pleatedjeans: Three cheers for these guys [x] This is how to be a good ally. Using their Bro-ness for good, not evil So a tiny story: on Black Friday a few weeks ago I went to Gamestop to buy my brother a game for Christmas, and I noticed this older man was watching me like a hawk. He was loitering around the front of the store without really buying anything, and every time I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. I went to look at the PS4 games, and he was looking at something right behind me. I checked out the Nintendo games, and he was looking at them too. I was the only woman in the store, by the way. By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat.  So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes. So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction.  In short: men who recognize that women are unsafe in dark alleys, college campuses, grocery stores, gas stations and retail stores and do something about it are the kind of quality men that this world needs more of. Please for the love of god yes. The Warrior protects. He does this through his Prowess, his Ability to Protect. His fight Ability, combined with his Willingness to Protect, earns him Worth in the eyes of his fellow Men. Train and fight! Always protect those in need! WarriorMale Hohoho!
Being Alone, Black Friday, and Christmas: el UNSAFE
 On CompuS
 scriminated against?
 Threatened
 Afrad to walk arund campus?
 We will walk
 with you
ginger-ale-official:

warriormale:

yuuri-katsuki-on-ice:

ladyflowdi:

thefingerfuckingfemalefury:

blackphoenix1977:

pleatedjeans:

Three cheers for these guys [x]

This is how to be a good ally.

Using their Bro-ness for good, not evil 

So a tiny story: on Black Friday a few weeks ago I went to Gamestop to buy my brother a game for Christmas, and I noticed this older man was watching me like a hawk. He was loitering around the front of the store without really buying anything, and every time I glanced at him out of the corner of my eye he was looking at me. I went to look at the PS4 games, and he was looking at something right behind me. I checked out the Nintendo games, and he was looking at them too. I was the only woman in the store, by the way.
By the time I got in line to pay he was loitering at the front of the store again, and I just had that feeling that he was going to try and take the game I just bought, or steal my purse, as soon as I left the store. OR, he was going to try and follow me home. And I know I don’t have to explain that terror to any woman reading this, but all I could think was that I’m in this Gamestop alone with at least twenty other men and something is about to happen. I’m beginning to freak out, to the point where I’ve just pulled my pepper spray out of my purse and into the pocket of my coat. 
So there I am, next in line to pay, and there is this GIGANTIC dudebro right behind me, and I say gigantic as a 6 foot tall woman. He says, “Ma’am? Don’t be offended, but would it be alright if I walked you to your car?” and I was like “Are you serious?” and he was like “There are some weird guys in here right now. Have you noticed that guy watching you?” and then I showed the dudebro the pepper spray in my pocket and he was like “Right on. Would you still let me walk you to your car?” and I said yes.
So I paid, and waited while HE paid, and he walked me to my car. And just as I was getting in, the weird guy who’d been loitering came out of the store, saw me and my dudebro, and turned around and walked away in the opposite direction. 
In short: men who recognize that women are unsafe in dark alleys, college campuses, grocery stores, gas stations and retail stores and do something about it are the kind of quality men that this world needs more of.


Please for the love of god yes.

The Warrior protects.
He does this through his Prowess, his Ability
to Protect.
His fight Ability, combined with his
Willingness to Protect, earns him Worth in the eyes of his fellow Men.
Train and fight!
Always protect those in need!
WarriorMale


Hohoho!

ginger-ale-official: warriormale: yuuri-katsuki-on-ice: ladyflowdi: thefingerfuckingfemalefury: blackphoenix1977: pleatedjeans: Three...

Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS Excuse me, I said a bit of ice on the bottom. Why is the ice on top? 0h boy! Let me just turn off physics and tell the ice to stop floating! Rude! I want to speak to the manager! Sorry about that! Here, take these $500 giftcards. Please don't give us 1-star on Yelp. YOU'RE FIRED!!! も THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT! EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG) the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spookydatrump: note-inthepages: Accurate post is accurate. Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone Lame For those in retail. I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza. So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!” I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak. When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger. Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people. That last bit of commentary though. You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.
Money, Old Navy, and Phone: HOW CUSTOMER SERVICE WORKS
 Excuse me, I said a
 bit of ice on the bottom.
 Why is the ice on top?
 0h boy! Let me just turn
 off physics and tell the
 ice to stop floating!
 Rude! I want
 to speak to
 the manager!
 Sorry about that! Here, take
 these $500 giftcards. Please
 don't give us 1-star on Yelp.
 YOU'RE FIRED!!!
 も
 THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!
 EVEN WHEN THEY'RE WRONG)
the-last-hair-bender:
failedhellos:

mysteampunkheart:

lam681:

winmu:

scullylovesqueequeg:

tamtoee:

yeahmicah:

thegirlinthesea:

spookydatrump:

note-inthepages:

Accurate post is accurate.

Reminds me of the time a lady told me whip doesn’t melt. Or a guy yelled at me for not understanding him/hearing him because he kept talking on the phone

Lame

For those in retail.

I worked in a Lil Caesars and a woman came in and wanted a sausage pizza with no sausage, but got mad when she was given a cheese pizza.

So when I worked at fitting room in Old Navy, a woman told me that a medium top was too small, and that the large top was too large. So she asked me to find her an “x-medium”. Old Navy carries x-small, small, medium, large, x-large, 1x, 2x and 3x. There is no “x-medium”. But she insisted, so I went and found her an “x-medium” (which was just a medium in a different color but the same top, same make, same EVERYTHING) and she goes very happily, “THIS! THIS FITS ME PERFECTLY! THANK YOU SO MUCH! See, you can do anything you can set your mind to!”

I’m a waitress at a big fancy resort, and once a woman asked me for a diet water and when I told her there was no such thing she demanded to see my manager (who then also promptly told her there was no such thing and brought her regular water).Another occasion of stupidity occurred when a woman had been brought a steak cooked too much for her liking. I offered to take it back and bring her out a new one, cooked a little less, and she said “NO this one’s fine I just want you to cook THIS one a little less.” I then had to get the chef and have him explain why you can’t UNCOOK a steak.

When I was working at dunkin donuts there was this woman in the drive-thru who asked for a lightly toasted croissant and then started complaining that the croissant was warm. And wanted her money back, so she gave me the croissant back and I gave her the money and then she tells me “now i want my new croissant” she wanted a new one for free and as she was screaming at me this guy in a biker gang covered in tattoos leans over the counter in the store and yells “ma’am let me just tell you what we’re all thinking. fuck off, you stupid cunt.” I couldn’t stop laughing and she drove away in anger.

Most of the people like in the stories above know that they’re being totally irrational, but also know that if they complain enough they’ll most likely get something free or discounted. So really most of the the nonsensical fucks are actually just cheap fucks with no shame or respect for people.

That last bit of commentary though.


You’d think that but I had once had to explain to a woman that I couldn’t “cut her hair longer.” Some people are actually just stupid.

the-last-hair-bender: failedhellos: mysteampunkheart: lam681: winmu: scullylovesqueequeg: tamtoee: yeahmicah: thegirlinthesea: spook...

Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.” ‘‘Tis the season
Cookies, Creepy, and God: themetaisawesome:

tsunasty:

deafonyourleft:

totallytrailbreaker:

skellydun:

rip santa.

Working in Retail in under 3 minutes

i had to watch this like 5 times because of no captions but lmao if someone makes a transcript for this it would be bomb

transcript:“So we have these Santas at work, right, okay? We have black and we have white Santas. And they’re like creepy, five-foot tall, lifelike animatronic… like, Santas that hold plates of cookies and milk, and they kinda look like they could wake up and come to life and murder you in your sleep– and they don’t include batteries, but we have these Santas. Like nothing screams ‘festive holiday cheer’ like a big, hulking Santa. Um. Nothin’ will jingle your jangles more.So, um, this woman comes in and she’s like, “Do you have these?” and I’m like, “Oh my god, yeah!” So a couple weeks ago we sold out of our white Santas, and we are down to like, three black Santas. And so, I take her to the aisle, I show her the Santas, and the first thing out of her mouth is, “I’m not racist, but…” and I’m like, well, I can’t– I’m not in the position to decide if you are or not, but if like– if I could use context clues and infer, uh, I would say maybe that you might be. And three, we’re talking about Santa. Like– (stuttering) did we switch subjects?And so, um, I’m in like, I– the next thing that pops out of her mouth is like, “This is not right.” and I’m like, okay, I’m sorry, but this is what the picture was. And she’s like, “No. Santa is white.” And I’m like, oh no, okay. Okay. So I’m in– I’m about to tell her, I’m like, mid-sentence, like, “I’m sorry, do you want me to go call another store, do you need me to, like, write you a raincheck just in case we we get any more.” And she’s like, “This is wrong, I want them taken down.” She interrupts me, says that, and I’m like, (pause). I like, look around, and I’m like, is she talking to me? Is this, like, my own, like, personal hell? But like, of course it is.So, um, I’m like, “I can’t take these Santas down.” And she’s like, “Why not?!” And I’m like, “You either have to buy them, or take them down yourself.” And that was like, the stupidest thing I could have ever said, because– (sighs) she takes this bag, with like, Jesus’s face, like, slammed right in the middle as a design– it’s big– she takes it off her shoulder, and starts beating these black Santas! She starts beating these Santas down, they were like, falling down… and I’m like, oh my god! What– what is happening?So like, I step in the middle of her and these Santas and I’m like, “Ma’am, ma’am, you need to leave, you need to stop, or I’m going to have to call someone.” So she like, stops, and she’s like, beet red, and like, huffin’ and puffin’, and she like, looks at me and I can tell she’s just trying to get like, a one-liner in, and she’s like, “The Santa I know is white.” And then she walks away. And I’m like, well– I’m processing what’s happening, while also thinking, like, the Santa you know? Santa’s not real. So unless you’re using an ouija board to contact good old Kris Kringle, um, from like, B.C. or whenever, I’m like, that’s pretty impressive, but how ya doin’ that. And, um, I– the last thought that ran through my mind is that, I’m like, I would hate to be in the room with her when she finds out that Jesus is not white.”


‘‘Tis the season

themetaisawesome: tsunasty: deafonyourleft: totallytrailbreaker: skellydun: rip santa. Working in Retail in under 3 minutes i had to ...