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Bitch, God, and Hello: olene33rpm me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente cowèurde nazerine love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg kore this, sore that, dore which koko here, soko there, doko where koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany Source: categorical-abstract-ml futureevilscientist confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so whenever I see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo", instead of hugs and kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO" like some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there assassinregrets im just the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion ofa person in the conversation so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you) i love it madmaudlingoes This is called "clusivity" and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen, Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua spinningyarns Some languages just side-eye harder than others Source: assassinregrets lord-kitschener Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz relativelylessimportant Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a joke, but is actually true Source: lord-kitschener heatmor irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit" but directly translated it means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you" its like "i see your god and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch Source: cradily Mark Magumpkin Follow Spanish: The h is silent English: Many letters can be silent French: All letters are meaningless, every living thing is born without reason paddysnuffles tumblr: on languages Tumblr on languages
Bitch, God, and Hello: olene33rpm
 me, trying to spell something in french: uhhhhhh i think that's enough vowels
 the french language: youe fooule.... youe insouelente cowèurde
 nazerine
 love japanese bc it's so regular and logical. eg
 kore this, sore that, dore which
 koko here, soko there, doko where
 koitsu this person, soitsu that person, doitsu germany
 Source: categorical-abstract-ml
 futureevilscientist
 confession: in the Russian alphabet, the letter x is pronounced like a hard h so
 whenever I see a phrase like "Sorry for your loss xoxo", instead of hugs and
 kisses my brain always briefly interprets it as "Sorry for your loss HOHOHO" like
 some jolly Santa Schadenfreude laughter there
 assassinregrets
 im just
 the cherokee language has a verb tense that specifically notes the exclusion ofa
 person in the conversation
 so there's i'm going, you're going, we're going, and we're going (but not you)
 i love it
 madmaudlingoes
 This is called "clusivity" and it's found a bunch of languages, including Chechen,
 Vietnamese, Samoan, and Quechua
 spinningyarns
 Some languages just side-eye harder than others
 Source: assassinregrets
 lord-kitschener
 Polish: yo dawg we heard u like the letter z so we put some z's in ur z's so u can
 Grzegorz Brzęczyszczykiewicz
 relativelylessimportant
 Z is only worth one point in the Polish version of Scrabble. This sounds like a
 joke, but is actually true
 Source: lord-kitschener
 heatmor
 irish is such a shady language because hello is "dia duit" but directly translated it
 means "god be with you" and when someone says hello back they say "dia is
 muire duit" which means "god and mary be with you" its like "i see your god
 and i raise you the holy virgin whatcha gonna do bout it bitch
 Source: cradily
 Mark Magumpkin
 Follow
 Spanish: The h is silent
 English: Many letters can be silent
 French: All letters are meaningless, every living
 thing is born without reason
 paddysnuffles
 tumblr: on languages
Tumblr on languages

Tumblr on languages

Apparently, Fresh, and Tumblr: Excellent Radiant source f Farms Sparkles UNICORN MEAT odut of Ireland Bi NET WT 5.5 0 (156) Top customer reviews George Takei ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam July 9, 2013 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah, the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it. Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets awkward) Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is. I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger. Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes No Report abuse novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat
Apparently, Fresh, and Tumblr: Excellent
 Radiant source f
 Farms Sparkles
 UNICORN
 MEAT
 odut
 of Ireland
 Bi
 NET WT
 5.5 0 (156)

 Top customer reviews
 George Takei
 ☆☆☆☆☆ Tastes Like Spam
 July 9, 2013
 When my shipment of unicorn meat from RADIANT FARMS finally arrived, I prepared the fragrant pate as a maki roll, wrapped in seaweed and spread over some sushi
 rice, with a little unagi sauce on top. This had been a staple during WWII when spam was standard issue in Hawaii, and it was how my cousins used to prepare it. Ah,
 the memories. I even had a half carafe of cold, unfiltered sake to pair with it.
 Unfortunately, I found this unicorn meat brand to be quite similar to spam, both in texture and blandness. I'd been hoping for that zestier kick that comes from the
 rump cuts of other mythical and fantastical creatures, such as griffins or centaurs (for the latter, serve only the back half of the creature with guests, or it gets
 awkward)
 Apparently, as Dateline recently reported, "farmed" unicorns are force-fed mostly genetically modified grains, rather than their natural diet of skittles and ecstasy pills
 California in fact is ready to ban the practice and sale of such meat by referendum. Moreover, certain European countries were caught mixing in regular horse meat
 (yes, disgusting) so you never really know how pure the unicorn is.
 I say stick with fresh. I highly recommend TOM RIDDLE brand unicorn steaks, which arrive still oozing restorative blood. Ground into patties, they make a great burger.
 Comment 6,156 people found this helpful. Was this review helpful to you? Yes
 No Report abuse
novelty-gift-ideas:

Canned Unicorn Meat

novelty-gift-ideas: Canned Unicorn Meat

Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes @ldobsonhughes Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods. "Um, I need to read the numbers on the barcode aloud to you. I don't want any lasers touching my food." 8/7/15, 11:24 AM 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES 13 floatingwithobrien: theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it. the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention. now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,” “you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift”and gerb says “i recall”“that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen”and gerb says “yea ok”“jeremy what happened?” and gerb says “i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”
Children, Food, and Grandma: Lauren Dobson-Hughes
 @ldobsonhughes
 Amazing - overheard at Whole Foods.
 "Um, I need to read the numbers on
 the barcode aloud to you. I don't want
 any lasers touching my food."
 8/7/15, 11:24 AM
 3,116 RETWEETS 3,022 FAVORITES
 13
floatingwithobrien:
theinturnetexplorer:

laser-free diet.

y'all need to hear about gerb. 
gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb is short for mr. gerber.) when we were learning about radiation and whatnot, and we touched on radiation poisoning, gerb decided to tell us a story. 
when gerb was in high school, he worked in a supermarket. a cashier. there was this one little old lady, mrs. cassopolis, who was a regular. mrs. cassopolis firmly believed that the lasers used to scan her food items would give her radiation poisoning. they tried to explain that’s not a thing. but old cass wouldn’t hear a word of it. 
the employees had to punch in every. last. grocery. item. MANUALLY. 
and this woman would buy cartfulls of food every week, like any good grandma trying to feed her five children and eighteen grandchildren every time they come for a Sunday visit. so pretty soon, the employees figured out a strategy to get her on her way and get on with their lives. 
one or more employees would distract old cass while the cashier would scan all the items he could as fast as humanly possible while she wasn’t paying attention. 
now this supermarket had a rewards program for its most efficient workers. the computer would track how quickly the cashiers scanned items, and how many total they scanned in one day, that kind of thing. so one day, gerb’s boss came to him and said “uh,”
“you scanned three hundred items in six minutes last Tuesday during your shift”and gerb says “i recall”“that’s about four times faster than anything i’ve ever seen”and gerb says “yea ok”“jeremy what happened?”
and gerb says
“i had to save a little old woman from placebo radiation”

floatingwithobrien: theinturnetexplorer: laser-free diet. y'all need to hear about gerb. gerb was my high school physics teacher. (gerb i...

Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener Obviously I want you to take care of your pets and make sure they get food and fresh water on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama queens and screaming hysterically at you and acting like they're tragic famine victims who haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop dead from starvation right mcfuckin now because you're 10 minutes late feeding them is always going to be one of the funniest things to me artaeum the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at was mad yesterday because his dinner was half an hour late due to a busy day. he proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage cans and tried to knock them over and started desperately scavenging for scraps of food because obviously no one loves him or cares about him and if he must eat garbage to survive then so be it instructionsfordancing not food related, but one time my cat cried at me for 20 minutes before i worked out that the reason why she was upset was because there was a coat hanger on her favourite cushion lord-kitschener This is absolutely beautiful and changed my life, thank you so much. Please protect her from hangers at all costs catsuggest wow. am STORVING and humaines here making joke laugh at cate honger ?! goldenmeme My cat is a social eater who is not food motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first got him because he didn't seem to care about food but he would SCREAM at me for hours when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l went to double check that he did indeed have food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like his life depended on it, but as soon as l walked away he'd follow me screaming again. Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a dining companion and was screaming about how we're a family and families eat together, god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty huff because dinner has been ready for hours but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike some humans) and waiting for me to eat it. teashoesandhair Things my cat has cried at: I wouldn't let her jump on top of the burning hot stove .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale the kitchen chair and jump on people's shoulders when they walked past I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough She ate her entire meal allowance for the day in one sitting at 9am and was famished by 10am I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet seat I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine bottle I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my rabbit had pissed on . . . Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and this is why they are perfect. wishyroses Cats are like two year olds but sharp Source: lord-kitschener 122,537 notes Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD
Beautiful, Cats, and Family: lord-kitschener
 Obviously I want you to take care of your pets
 and make sure they get food and fresh water
 on a regular basis, but cats being huge drama
 queens and screaming hysterically at you and
 acting like they're tragic famine victims who
 haven't eaten in weeks and are about to drop
 dead from starvation right mcfuckin now
 because you're 10 minutes late feeding them
 is always going to be one of the funniest
 things to me
 artaeum
 the cat who lives at the vet clinic i volunteer at
 was mad yesterday because his dinner was
 half an hour late due to a busy day. he
 proceeded to go to all the (empty dw) garbage
 cans and tried to knock them over and started
 desperately scavenging for scraps of food
 because obviously no one loves him or cares
 about him and if he must eat garbage to
 survive then so be it
 instructionsfordancing
 not food related, but one time my cat cried at
 me for 20 minutes before i worked out that
 the reason why she was upset was because
 there was a coat hanger on her favourite
 cushion
 lord-kitschener
 This is absolutely beautiful and changed my
 life, thank you so much. Please protect her
 from hangers at all costs
 catsuggest
 wow. am STORVING and humaines here
 making joke laugh at cate honger ?!
 goldenmeme
 My cat is a social eater who is not food
 motivated at all, so I was baffled when I first
 got him because he didn't seem to care about
 food but he would SCREAM at me for hours
 when I knew his bowl was full. Any time l
 went to double check that he did indeed have
 food, he'd book it to the bowl and snarf like
 his life depended on it, but as soon as l
 walked away he'd follow me screaming again.
 Eventually I figured out that he just wanted a
 dining companion and was screaming about
 how we're a family and families eat together,
 god damnit! I moved his food bowl under my
 computer desk and it fixed the problem. But if
 I'm ever out for more than 12 hours I'll come
 home to find him in a passive-aggressive kitty
 huff because dinner has been ready for hours
 but he's been trying to be considerate (unlike
 some humans) and waiting for me to eat it.
 teashoesandhair
 Things my cat has cried at:
 I wouldn't let her jump on top of the
 burning hot stove
 .I moved my coat so that she couldn't scale
 the kitchen chair and jump on people's
 shoulders when they walked past
 I didn't scratch her cheek firmly enough
 She ate her entire meal allowance for the
 day in one sitting at 9am and was famished
 by 10am
 I didn't let her sit behind me on the toilet
 seat
 I wouldn't let her eat toothpaste
 I wouldn't let her eat the cork from a wine
 bottle
 I wouldn't let her eat the straw that my
 rabbit had pissed on
 .
 .
 .
 Cats are inherently ridiculous creatures and
 this is why they are perfect.
 wishyroses
 Cats are like two year olds but sharp
 Source: lord-kitschener
 122,537 notes
Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD

Mine would bang on the mirror every morning for his breakfast. It was just leaning against the wall and pretty flimsy so it was LOUD

Bitch, Complex, and Dumb: ctor- 1 Lexie M 12/10/17 Mr. Robert Hugs Reasons you need to give me a hug On December 10th, 2017, Robert you asked if I wanted a hug. Of course I said yes, I'm always accepting offers for hugs. But since you wanted to be a prick, you told me to writea three paragraph essay as to why you should give me hugs. Here it is, Bitch. Reason number one is simple, and self explanatory. You're my boyfriend, and I should be receiving hugs very often. As a needy girlfriend, I need these hugs to be happy, healthy, and content. You should know this, because we have been together for over one year. Assuming you already know this, my question is this: why didn't you give me the hug anyways? Fortunately, for you, I'm a very forgiving and understanding person. I'll accept a hug later and you can continue playing H1Z1 with your friend Jake. Reason number two is a bit more complex. Hugs release neurotransmitters called Oxytocin and Serotonin. Considering you're about to be an Economic/ Computer Science major, you don't know what a neurotransmitter is. A neurotransmitter is a chemical that is released at the end of a nerve fiber upon arrival of a nerve impulse. Between fibers are gaps called synapses. These neurotransmitters allow the diffusion from one fiber to the other. If know you at all, I'd know you skipped the whole reading on what a neurotransmitter is. There will be a quiz following this short essay, better read up! Oxytocin and Serotonin are very important to living a happy life. Oxytocin is also very important to the reproductive system, so, if you ever want to get jiggy; give your girlfriend a hug! Serotonin is the chemical Il've been lacking for years which is why I've suffered from depression and anxiety. So, in conclusion, give your favorite girl (besides Fergie, dumb Bitch) a hug to keep her Serotonin levels up! (Oxytocin) The third and final reason why you should give me a hug is because it is scientifically proven that it improves sense of trust and sense of security. I'm not saying that our relationship needs much improving, because we are truly everyone's favorite couple. Why wouldn't we be? We're hot, funny, and smart. Senses of trust could always use improvement, even if we trust each other already. (Which I hope you do, bitch) In conclusion, I believe I deserve all the hugs I desire. This will not only benefit me, but you as well. It will benefit you because of the good mood I will be in afterwards. This good mood not only makes my day easier, but yours too. Hugs are good for my well being, I need them on a regular basis. Citations "Oxytocin." Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/basicsloxytocin McIntosh, James. "Serotonin: Facts, What Does Serotonin Do?" Medical News Today, MediLexicon International, 29 Apr. 2016 www.medicalnewstoday.com/kc/serotonin-facts-232248 I told my girlfriend to write me a 3 paragraph essay on why I should hug her. Little did I know, she actually was doing it while I was playing videogames.
Bitch, Complex, and Dumb: ctor- 1
 Lexie M
 12/10/17
 Mr. Robert
 Hugs
 Reasons you need to give me a hug
 On December 10th, 2017, Robert you asked if I wanted a hug. Of course I said yes,
 I'm always accepting offers for hugs. But since you wanted to be a prick, you told me to writea
 three paragraph essay as to why you should give me hugs. Here it is, Bitch.
 Reason number one is simple, and self explanatory. You're my boyfriend, and I should be
 receiving hugs very often. As a needy girlfriend, I need these hugs to be happy, healthy, and
 content. You should know this, because we have been together for over one year. Assuming
 you already know this, my question is this: why didn't you give me the hug anyways?
 Fortunately, for you, I'm a very forgiving and understanding person. I'll accept a hug later and
 you can continue playing H1Z1 with your friend Jake.
 Reason number two is a bit more complex. Hugs release neurotransmitters called Oxytocin
 and Serotonin. Considering you're about to be an Economic/ Computer Science major, you
 don't know what a neurotransmitter is. A neurotransmitter is a chemical that is released at the
 end of a nerve fiber upon arrival of a nerve impulse. Between fibers are gaps called synapses.
 These neurotransmitters allow the diffusion from one fiber to the other. If know you at all, I'd
 know you skipped the whole reading on what a neurotransmitter is. There will be a quiz
 following this short essay, better read up! Oxytocin and Serotonin are very important to living a
 happy life. Oxytocin is also very important to the reproductive system, so, if you ever want to get
 jiggy; give your girlfriend a hug! Serotonin is the chemical Il've been lacking for years which is
 why I've suffered from depression and anxiety. So, in conclusion, give your favorite girl (besides
 Fergie, dumb Bitch) a hug to keep her Serotonin levels up! (Oxytocin)
 The third and final reason why you should give me a hug is because it is scientifically proven
 that it improves sense of trust and sense of security. I'm not saying that our relationship needs
 much improving, because we are truly everyone's favorite couple. Why wouldn't we be? We're
 hot, funny, and smart. Senses of trust could always use improvement, even if we trust each
 other already. (Which I hope you do, bitch)
 In conclusion, I believe I deserve all the hugs I desire. This will not only benefit me, but you
 as well. It will benefit you because of the good mood I will be in afterwards. This good mood not
 only makes my day easier, but yours too. Hugs are good for my well being, I need them on a
 regular basis.
 Citations
 "Oxytocin." Psychology Today, Sussex Publishers, www.psychologytoday.com/basicsloxytocin
 McIntosh, James. "Serotonin: Facts, What Does Serotonin Do?" Medical News Today,
 MediLexicon International, 29 Apr. 2016
 www.medicalnewstoday.com/kc/serotonin-facts-232248
I told my girlfriend to write me a 3 paragraph essay on why I should hug her. Little did I know, she actually was doing it while I was playing videogames.

I told my girlfriend to write me a 3 paragraph essay on why I should hug her. Little did I know, she actually was doing it while I was playi...