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Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers votes oldest newest You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp. Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes. HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES 1811 Have you tried using an XML parser instead? link edit flag edited Nov 14 at 0:18 community wiki bobince regex and html
Beautiful, Community, and God: 21 Answers
 votes
 oldest
 newest
 You can't parse [X]HTML with regex. Because HTML can't be parsed by regex. Regex is not a tool that
 can be used to correctly parse HTML. As I have answered in HTML-and-regex questions here so many
 times before, the use of regex will not allow you to consume HTML. Regular expressions are a tool that is
 insufficiently sophisticated to understand the constructs employed by HTML. HTML is not a regular
 language and hence cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Regex queries are not equipped to break
 down HTML into its meaningful parts. so many times but it is not getting to me. Even enhanced irregular
 regular expressions as used by Perl are not up to the task of parsing HTML. You will never make me
 crack. HTML is a language of sufficient complexity that it cannot be parsed by regular expressions. Even
 Jon Skeet cannot parse HTML using regular expressions. Every time you attempt to parse HTML with
 regular expressions, the unholy child weeps the blood of virgins, and Russian hackers pwn your webapp.
 Parsing HTML with regex summons tainted souls into the realm of the living. HTML and regex go together
 like love, marriage, and ritual infanticide. The <center> cannot hold it is too late. The force of regex and
 HTML together in the same conceptual space will destroy your mind like so much watery putty. If you
 parse HTML with regex you are giving in to Them and their blasphemous ways which doom us all to
 inhuman toil for the One whose Name cannot be expressed in the Basic Multilingual Plane, he comes.
 HTML-plus-regexp will liquify the nerves of the sentient whilst you observe, your psyche withering in the
 onslaught of horror. Regex-based HTML parsers are the cancer that is killing StackOverflow it is too late
 it is too late we cannot be saved the trangession of a child ensures regex will consume all living tissue
 (except for HTML which it cannot, as previously prophesied) dear lord help us how can anyone survive
 this scourge using regex to parse HTML has doomed humanity to an eternity of dread torture and
 security holes using regex as a tool to process HTML establishes a breach between this world and the
 dread realm of čorrupt entities (like SGML entities, but more corrupt) a mere glimpse of the world of reg
 ex parsers for HTML will instantly transport a programmer's consciousness into a world of ceaseless
 screaming, he comes-the pestilent slithy regex-infection will devour your HTML parser, application and
 existence for all time like Vişual Basic only worse he comes he comes do not fight he comes, his uņholy
 radiance destroping all enlightenment, HTML tags leaking frọm your eyesiike liquid pain, the song of
 regular expression parsing-will extinguish the voices of mortal man from the sphere I can see it can you
 see t it is beautiful the f inal snuf fing of the lies of Man ALL ĮS LOSTALL IS LOST the pony he
 comes he comes hejcemes the ichor permeates al MY FACEFACEh god no NO NOOoo Ne
 stop the an ges aře not reâj ZALGO IS TON THË PONY, HECOMES
 1811
 Have you tried using an XML parser instead?
 link edit flag
 edited Nov 14 at 0:18
 community wiki
 bobince
regex and html

regex and html

Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE @ 99% 8:54 AM Settings Emergency Chat Meltdown gave you my phone because l can't use or process speech right now, but l am still capable of text communication. My hearing and tactile senses are extremely sensitive in this state, so please refrain from touching me. Please keep calm, and proceed to the next screen that has a simple chat client through which we can communicate. Continue R...ht New Message Send @ 99% ooo Sprint LTE 9:02 AM Settings Emergency Chat Today 9:02 AM would you like to get out of here? Left yes please R...ht New Message Send the I'm O p qw r У u f jk d gh а S C b Z X 123 return space sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!! it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student. the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device).  the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need!  the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store.  I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :) OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST That’s so bootiful! thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now WHAT?
Apple, God, and Google: oooo Sprint LTE
 @ 99%
 8:54 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Meltdown
 gave you my phone because l
 can't use or process speech
 right now, but l am still capable
 of text communication. My
 hearing and tactile senses are
 extremely sensitive in this state,
 so please refrain from touching
 me. Please keep calm, and
 proceed to the next screen that
 has a simple chat client through
 which we can communicate.
 Continue
 R...ht New Message
 Send

 @ 99%
 ooo Sprint LTE
 9:02 AM
 Settings
 Emergency Chat
 Today 9:02 AM
 would you like to get out of here?
 Left
 yes please
 R...ht New Message
 Send
 the
 I'm
 O p
 qw
 r
 У
 u
 f
 jk
 d
 gh
 а
 S
 C
 b
 Z
 X
 123
 return
 space
sweetandsavageautistic:
thathumanwiththecatears:

kuroba101:

sweet-and-tender:

lesbiandana:

hello! I don’t know if anyone has already made a post about this before, but I just stumbled upon this app made specifically for when you’ve gone into a nonverbal anxiety attack!!!
it was made by Jeroen De Busser who is an autistic computer science student.
the app is really easy to use! all you do is open it and hand your phone to someone you need to communicate with during an attack but physically cannot, and it shows this cool little alert for the person to read, and then it takes them to an easy to use chat (that looks a lot like texting! except both of you are communicating using the same device). 
the alert message is completely customizable and you can have it say whatever you need! 
the app is called Emergency Chat and it’s available in the Apple Store and google play store. 
I highly recommend it to anyone who might need it :)

OH MY GOD?!?!?? BOOST

That’s so bootiful!

thank you so much for this because i never know what to do when i cant talk to people and they just start trying to ask me questions and its really hard to force myself to say i cant talk and stuff. im definately getting this right now


WHAT?

sweetandsavageautistic: thathumanwiththecatears: kuroba101: sweet-and-tender: lesbiandana: hello! I don’t know if anyone has already mad...

Butt, Phone, and Tumblr: PLEASE HELP FUND MY also and TOP SURGERY depression treatment BUST 20 W/ COLOUR $35 BUST PAINTING K10 HIPS UP A $30 WCOLOUR $50 10% OFf OF THE 2ND CHARACTER hohnoni: Please Help Fund my Top Surgery + Depression Treatment hey there! For the past 6 months, I’ve been working my butt off to save up for top surgery. In fact, the show I animated and storyboarded is now up on sbs on demand (Monsters of Many Worlds), and another show I animated on is now being released on youtube (Goo Jit Zu episode 2+3).  During this time, I have been struggling with my depression and constantly juggling 2 jobs at once. To be frank, suicidal ideation has frequently been on my mind due to the stress of this work and experiencing rather extreme top dysphoria. That said, I did the calculations and worked out I had enough to get it done on november 1st. Unfortunately, this didn’t take into account the fact that my gp + therapist is now reccommending I seek medicated psychiatric treatment for my depression, and my mum no longer being able to pay for my phone bills. There’s more to this story, which you can find on my go fund me here:https://www.gofundme.com/f/bav2qh-coreys-top-surgery?rcid=r01-156868223675-f7be2e051ea14d79&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w That said, I’m opening commissions again to help make sure I get properly stabilized before the surgery. You’re more than welcome to donate if you have a dollar or two available, but if not, commissioning me is a fantastic way to help!  All Payments will be through PayPal, all of the prices above are in AUD.  Feel free to email me at hohnoni@gmail.com, or simply DM me, if you’re interested or have any questions!
Butt, Phone, and Tumblr: PLEASE
 HELP
 FUND MY
 also
 and
 TOP
 SURGERY depression
 treatment

 BUST
 20
 W/ COLOUR
 $35

 BUST
 PAINTING
 K10

 HIPS UP A
 $30
 WCOLOUR
 $50

 10% OFf OF
 THE 2ND
 CHARACTER
hohnoni:
Please Help Fund my Top Surgery + Depression Treatment
hey there!
For the past 6 months, I’ve been working my butt off to save up for top surgery. In fact, the show I animated and storyboarded is now up on sbs on demand (Monsters of Many Worlds), and another show I animated on is now being released on youtube (Goo Jit Zu episode 2+3). 
During this time, I have been struggling with my depression and constantly juggling 2 jobs at once. To be frank, suicidal ideation has frequently been on my mind due to the stress of this work and experiencing rather extreme top dysphoria.
That said, I did the calculations and worked out I had enough to get it done on november 1st. Unfortunately, this didn’t take into account the fact that my gp + therapist is now reccommending I seek medicated psychiatric treatment for my depression, and my mum no longer being able to pay for my phone bills.
There’s more to this story, which you can find on my go fund me here:https://www.gofundme.com/f/bav2qh-coreys-top-surgery?rcid=r01-156868223675-f7be2e051ea14d79&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w
That said, I’m opening commissions again to help make sure I get properly stabilized before the surgery. You’re more than welcome to donate if you have a dollar or two available, but if not, commissioning me is a fantastic way to help! 
All Payments will be through PayPal, all of the prices above are in AUD. 
Feel free to email me at hohnoni@gmail.com, or simply DM me, if you’re interested or have any questions!

hohnoni: Please Help Fund my Top Surgery + Depression Treatment hey there! For the past 6 months, I’ve been working my butt off to save up f...

Beautiful, College, and Desperate: Carl Kinsella Follow @TVsCarlKinsella Reminder that the story of how Alan Alda met his wife Arlene is pure goals. "In 1956, while attending Fordham, he met Arlene Weiss, who attending Hunter College. They bonded at a mutual friend's dinner party; when a rum cake accidentally fell onto the kitchen floor, they were the only two guests who did not hesitate to eat was it." 5:04 AM-14 Sep 2017 1,114 Retweets 3,179 Likes jadedamber: mysharona1987: flootzavut: onekisstotakewithme: bbc03undercover: murielsweating: mysharona1987: They’re still together like 60 years later. This is a beautiful love story. I’m just looking for someone to eat garbage floor cake with. I love everything about this story. Alan Alda is my spirit animal (and quite possibly my patronus) That’s hilarious and adorable. “The hostess of the evening had made a rum cake, and she put it on the refrigerator to cool,” Alda recalled. “The refrigerator shook, and the cake fell off the refrigerator and hit the floor.” It was a party moment that separated the casual diners from those desperate for dessert. “Arlene and I were the only two people who went in with spoons and ate it off the floor,” he said with a smile. “That’s how you know. When two people eat a cake off the floor, that’s it for life.” There’s no arguing that point. In fact, Alda seems certain today’s daters could learn a thing or two from him and Arlene. “All this matchmaking on the Internet, and they ask them questions — just toss a cake on the floor and see who goes for it,” he suggested. this post single-handedly fixed my evening and cleared my pores.
Beautiful, College, and Desperate: Carl Kinsella
 Follow
 @TVsCarlKinsella
 Reminder that the story of how Alan Alda met
 his wife Arlene is pure goals.
 "In 1956, while attending Fordham, he met Arlene Weiss, who
 attending Hunter College. They bonded at a mutual friend's
 dinner party; when a rum cake accidentally fell onto the kitchen
 floor, they were the only two guests who did not hesitate to eat
 was
 it."
 5:04 AM-14 Sep 2017
 1,114 Retweets 3,179 Likes
jadedamber:
mysharona1987:

flootzavut:

onekisstotakewithme:


bbc03undercover:

murielsweating:


mysharona1987:

They’re still together like 60 years later.
This is a beautiful love story.


I’m just looking for someone to eat garbage floor cake with.


I love everything about this story.


Alan Alda is my spirit animal (and quite possibly my patronus)


That’s hilarious and adorable.

“The hostess of the evening had made a rum cake, and she put it on the refrigerator to cool,” Alda recalled. “The refrigerator shook, and the cake fell off the refrigerator and hit the floor.”
It was a party moment that separated the casual diners from those desperate for dessert.

“Arlene and I were the only two people who went in with spoons and ate it off the floor,” he said with a smile. “That’s how you know. When two people eat a cake off the floor, that’s it for life.”




There’s no arguing that point. In fact, Alda seems certain today’s daters could learn a thing or two from him and Arlene.




“All this matchmaking on the Internet, and they ask them questions — just toss a cake on the floor and see who goes for it,” he suggested.



this post single-handedly fixed my evening and cleared my pores.

jadedamber: mysharona1987: flootzavut: onekisstotakewithme: bbc03undercover: murielsweating: mysharona1987: They’re still together l...

Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case Fava his Own they aver do that was worth remembering? I mean, Doctor Doom is okay, but, ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?) 3000.00 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does anybody really care? I mean these are just warmed over Kull stories, nght? Or is it Kull who's warmed over Conan? I can never remember.) 100-103, 10.00, 104-106, 11.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125, 13.00 100-103, 10.00, 104-106, 11.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125 13 00 100-103 realy Sne pleats nightin there the book That's what Fm askin' you ELEKTRA ASSASSIN 1-4, lots and lots of money ELFQUEST you haven't memorized everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9, 10.00, Chronicles (1982) 1.50 AVENGERS 1, forget it! Even if I had one I wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are you kidding? After the lame offers you made for the old Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way, Jose. 4, And you can forget this one altogether! (Captain Amenica) 5. m goin' straight to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154, 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6, manbe 7 upks a piece. 203, Man 100-1 104-106 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem 12.00 110 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e wolves died, and Richard and Wendy got evicted and we need to raise money for (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic the comics, just call paying for them, we're out ot here 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete iocal comic acednact Youm DON'T ASK QUESTIONS! WE'RE HEAVILY INTO THE ZEN SH-SHE-HULK! IT ONLY WORKS IFPOD o YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG NOW sAndm CON WHERE CHA S THIS 1-6 this ge Comprend RYSTA ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha! !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! to kno ALL OF THINK ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou that Canadiaihro PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC BOOKS A Your non y and youd ge at the Mint get a Spi 99211 213, 215, oing to stop HERE for every last FTCKen I'm gonna start jacking up the prices on every book that has the High Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm gonna jack up the prices on books that even use the "evolution!" 100-103, 1 104-106, 11.00, 107- that stuff? Somebo pay for it! 10.00, 104-10 11.00 110-125 10.00 07-109. 3.00 104-106, S.12.00, $00 100-103. 107 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! You Want this? ewhole set, 18.00 15 12.00, 110-125, 13 Y0-125 T09 3.00 100-103-10.00. 04-106, 11.00, 107-109 00, 110-125, 13.00 03, 10.00, 104-106 107-109, 12.00, 5, 13.00 100-103, 104-106, 11.00, 109, 12.00, 110-125 .00 100-103, 10.00 04-106, 11.00: 107-109 00, 110-125, 13.00 ( 100-103, 10.00, 10 11.00, 107-109, 17 110-125, 13.00 10.00, 104-106 107-109, 12.00 EVIL re they still printing e? I thought they celled it after Miller left. I Ner cared for it much nyway. Expect for the hiddle period.. You know? When he was fighting, like, aliens and stuff? Now that was comics! 100-103, 10.00, 125. 00 07-109, T125, 13.00 03, 10.00, 104-106. 1.00, 107-109, 12.00, 110-125, 13.0O 100-103. 13.001 104 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know the price is supposed to go 24 Don’t think about it.
Books, Doctor, and Elf: can p
 2.25, Indexes 1-9 (in case
 Fava his Own
 they aver do that was worth
 remembering? I mean,
 Doctor Doom is okay, but,
 ke, he's no Spinerette, eh?)
 3000.00
 1-3, 18.00, 4-6, 19.00 (does
 anybody really care? I mean
 these are just warmed over
 Kull stories, nght? Or is it
 Kull who's warmed over
 Conan? I can never
 remember.) 100-103, 10.00,
 104-106, 11.00, 107-109,
 12.00, 110-125, 13.00
 100-103, 10.00, 104-106,
 11.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125 13 00 100-103
 realy Sne
 pleats nightin
 there the
 book
 That's what Fm askin' you
 ELEKTRA ASSASSIN
 1-4, lots and lots of money
 ELFQUEST
 you haven't memorized
 everything yet), 1.25, set 1-9,
 10.00, Chronicles (1982)
 1.50
 AVENGERS
 1, forget it! Even if I had one I
 wouldn't sell it to you. 2. Are
 you kidding? After the lame
 offers you made for the old
 Spider-Man stuff? 3, no way,
 Jose. 4, And you can forget
 this one altogether! (Captain
 Amenica) 5. m goin' straight
 to the recent stuff again. 140, WHAT...2 HOW...5
 150, 2.50, 151, 153, 154,
 8.00 (no reason) 200-202, 6,
 manbe 7 upks a piece. 203,
 Man 100-1
 104-106
 1-present, 1,00.00-se9, the ORDERING INSTRUCTIONS: This sd expirem
 12.00 110
 (1) All orders must be mailed in, temized
 Derek and/or Kate Smth in the nude We w
 ont have to This is cur ad so we play by ur e
 wolves died, and Richard
 and Wendy got evicted and
 we need to raise money for
 (2) Minimum mail order s $1000 00 Why sho
 them. In fact, don't even buy the sport or something? You thirk we lke comic
 the comics, just call
 paying for them, we're out ot here
 1-800-ELF-HELP and plecge (3) You must have a street address as wete
 iocal comic acednact Youm
 DON'T ASK
 QUESTIONS!
 WE'RE HEAVILY
 INTO THE ZEN
 SH-SHE-HULK!
 IT ONLY
 WORKS IFPOD o
 YOU DON'T a FOLLOW ME, anG
 NOW
 sAndm
 CON WHERE
 CHA S THIS
 1-6
 this ge
 Comprend
 RYSTA
 ! A ha! Hal Ha! Ha! Ha!
 !Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 to kno ALL OF
 THINK
 ABOUT IT!Foreign ak Ou
 that Canadiaihro
 PLACE 2/You wa F COMIC
 BOOKS
 A Your non
 y and youd ge
 at the Mint get a Spi
 99211 213, 215,
 oing to stop
 HERE for every last
 FTCKen I'm gonna start
 jacking up the prices on
 every book that has the High
 Evolutionary in it! In fact, I'm
 gonna jack up the prices on
 books that even use the
 "evolution!" 100-103, 1
 104-106, 11.00, 107-
 that stuff? Somebo
 pay for it!
 10.00, 104-10 11.00
 110-125
 10.00
 07-109.
 3.00
 104-106,
 S.12.00,
 $00 100-103.
 107
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 a! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha
 al Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
 You Want this?
 ewhole set, 18.00
 15
 12.00, 110-125, 13
 Y0-125
 T09
 3.00 100-103-10.00.
 04-106, 11.00, 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00,
 5, 13.00 100-103,
 104-106, 11.00,
 109, 12.00, 110-125
 .00 100-103, 10.00
 04-106, 11.00: 107-109
 00, 110-125, 13.00 (
 100-103, 10.00, 10
 11.00, 107-109, 17
 110-125, 13.00
 10.00, 104-106
 107-109, 12.00
 EVIL
 re they still printing
 e? I thought they
 celled it after Miller left. I
 Ner cared for it much
 nyway. Expect for the
 hiddle period.. You know?
 When he was fighting, like,
 aliens and stuff? Now that
 was comics! 100-103, 10.00,
 125.
 00
 07-109,
 T125, 13.00
 03, 10.00, 104-106.
 1.00, 107-109, 12.00,
 110-125, 13.0O 100-103.
 13.001
 104
 TU125, 13.00 (yeah, I know
 the price is supposed to go
 24
Don’t think about it.

Don’t think about it.