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protocol: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
protocol: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

protocol: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
protocol: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

protocol: stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))). Prologue            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him.            I am anxious for another romantic experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up. My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly, but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but I’ve learned to work with what I have. I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together. I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need right now. Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected… Day 1            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school.            After, I went for a run in my neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules, but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the world goes to shit.            I laid on my bed for a while and ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them.            Next, I checked my school email and discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.            I checked my Instagram feed and ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media posts. Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media; get laid. This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but sex does sound nice right now.            It sounds so nice that I grab my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed sheets. The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off. Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except for me.
protocol: stellarsteele:
Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :))).
Prologue
            My name is Eva. I had one boyfriend in high school who turned
out to be a disappointment. After breaking up with him, he kept sending me
creepy messages on social media. I did what any girl would do—I blocked him. 
            I am anxious for another romantic
experience with a different outcome. I thought college would be my chance, but
this pandemic swooped in and fucked everything up.
My ideal is a cute guy who is sensitive and provides me with
unconditional love. I want to have deep conversations with him too. 
Physical appearance isn’t my greatest asset: I am not ugly,
but not gorgeous. Sometimes guys at parties tell me that I’m charming and a
good listener though. I would much rather be kissed than told these things, but
I’ve learned to work with what I have.
I must admit, I’m hard on myself. My roommate Emma has a lot
of hookups and I always feel below her. She still complains about the absence
of dateable guys which makes me feel better about my lack of success. 
I should mention my parents because I am going to be stuck
with them for a while. They are strange as fuck. My dad is a classic nerd and my
mother was wild in college. I’m pretty sure that she did cocaine at a party in
college once. I honestly couldn’t tell you how they ended up together.
I have no idea what to expect from this quarantine. I’m going
to try to be productive and stay positive. Maybe, something good will come out
of this. I’ve already improved my personal hygiene—it’s hard to stay super
hygienic in college. I’ve been eating a lot healthier too since college
cafeterias are no longer part of my daily routine. 
I also have a good excuse for being single. I’m going to take
this time to find out more about myself. Maybe a boyfriend isn’t what I need
right now. 
Although, if a cute guy were to enter my life right now, I am
not sure I would be able to refuse him. Even if he got me infected…
Day 1
            My quarantine hasn’t been too bad so far. I started off by
cleaning my room: I found a lot of dust under my bed and on my windows that
desperately needed attention. My closet was a disaster too. I found a ton of
clothes that haven’t fit me since middle school. 
            After, I went for a run in my
neighborhood and discovered that my neighbors were completely disregarding the social
distancing protocol. I didn’t heckle them or anything for disobeying the rules,
but I was disappointed. You really discover who people really are when the
world goes to shit.
            I laid on my bed for a while and
ended up reading an entire book. I haven’t been committed to a book like that
since the Harry Potter books. I was lowkey impressed with myself. After, I fell
asleep for a couple hours. I have a feeling that naps are going to be a big
part of my daily routine even if I try to resist them. 
            Next, I checked my school email and
discovered that all my classes are moving to a virtual platform called Zoom. I
have no idea how virtual chemistry labs are going to work. Hopefully, my professor
will save everyone the stress and give us all an A.
            I checked my Instagram feed and
ended up making a clever post. I got the most likes I have ever gotten which
was satisfying. I am going to try to be more regular with my social media
posts.
Now, I’m sitting at my desk listening to The Weeknd’s new
album. I love his angelic voice and atmospheric beats. I’m trying to come up
with a list of goals for myself for quarantine: read a book; try to spend more
time with my parents; do yoga 3 times per week; post regularly on social media;
get laid. 
This is probably influenced by The Weeknd’s erotic music, but
sex does sound nice right now. 
            It sounds so nice that I grab
my dildo out of my drawer and take my pants off. I slide it slowly into my
vagina at first and gradually increase the speed. I imagine my ideal guy on top
of me, penetrating me and whispering dirty things in my ear. I am getting so
wet. It is surprising how responsive I am to this little toy. Using my other
hand, I start massaging my clit. Now, I’m forcefully moving the dildo in and
out of my pussy. In my mind, my ideal man is caressing my back and clapping my
cheeks hard as fuck. I start moaning and eventually I come all over my bed
sheets. 
The initial pleasure from the orgasm quickly wears off.
Instead of feeling blissful, I feel ashamed of myself for not finding a man
since high school. The loneliness is suffocating. I feel myself sinking into my
bed, drowning in my tears slowly. Everyone seems to have found someone except
for me.

stellarsteele: Here is a preview of my first book ever! I am planning on releasing the full book very soon. Let me know what you think :)...

protocol: Just protocol
protocol: Just protocol

Just protocol

protocol: Protocol 3 by Meme-daddy802 MORE MEMES
protocol: Protocol 3 by Meme-daddy802
MORE MEMES

Protocol 3 by Meme-daddy802 MORE MEMES

protocol: normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? #and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you.
protocol: normal-horoscopes:

pooraurora:

postmarxed:
inkandcayenne:

wilfulwayfarer:

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary


People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”


We’re not even gonna mention FEMA’s Waffle House Index where they determine how bad a natural disaster is by calling the local Waffle House to see if they’re open? 



#and wafflehouse is one of those spiritual places#2am friendships#its the same hazy feel#of cicadas and front porches with your friends



Waffle House is physical and spiritual neutral territory. Starting shit in a Waffle House isn’t just bad form, it tips the entire natural balance of the universe against you.

normal-horoscopes: pooraurora: postmarxed: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-...

protocol: Michael Kerr 3 hrs My doctor Jerry Rabinowitz was among those killed in the Pittsburgh Svnagoque shooting. He took care of me up until I left Pittsburgh for NYC in 2004 In the old days for HIV patients in Pittsburgh he was to one to go to Basically before there was effective treatment for fighting HIV itself, he was known in the community for keeping us alive the longest. He often held our hands (without rubber gloves) and always always hugged us as we left his office We made a deal about my T cells in that I didn't want to know the numbers visit to visit because I knew I would fret with every little fluctuation and I also knew that AZT was not working for my friends. The deal was that he would just let me know at some point when the T cell numbers meant I needed to start on medications. The numbers were his job and my job was to finish my masters thesis and get a job with insurance and try to not go crazy. got lucky beyond words - because When he gently told me around November 1995 that it was time to begin taking medications - there was an ACTG trial for two HIV medications that saved my life. One of which l still take today Thank you ACT UP for getting these drugs into a safe but effect expedited research protocol. You saved my life And thank you Dr. Rabinowitiz for having always been there during the most terrifying and frightening time of my life. You will be remembered by me always. You are one of my heroes just like the early ACT UP warriors some of which I now call friend enoughtohold: a friend of mine posted this. today is too much.
protocol: Michael Kerr
 3 hrs
 My doctor Jerry Rabinowitz was among those killed in the Pittsburgh
 Svnagoque shooting. He took care of me up until I left Pittsburgh for NYC
 in 2004
 In the old days for HIV patients in Pittsburgh he was to one to go to
 Basically before there was effective treatment for fighting HIV itself, he
 was known in the community for keeping us alive the longest. He often
 held our hands (without rubber gloves) and always always hugged us as
 we left his office
 We made a deal about my T cells in that I didn't want to know the
 numbers visit to visit because I knew I would fret with every little
 fluctuation and I also knew that AZT was not working for my friends. The
 deal was that he would just let me know at some point when the T cell
 numbers meant I needed to start on medications. The numbers were his
 job and my job was to finish my masters thesis and get a job with
 insurance and try to not go crazy.
 got lucky beyond words - because When he gently told me around
 November 1995 that it was time to begin taking medications - there was
 an ACTG trial for two HIV medications that saved my life. One of which l
 still take today
 Thank you ACT UP for getting these drugs into a safe but effect
 expedited research protocol. You saved my life
 And thank you Dr. Rabinowitiz for having always been there during the
 most terrifying and frightening time of my life. You will be remembered by
 me always. You are one of my heroes just like the early ACT UP warriors
 some of which I now call friend
enoughtohold:
a friend of mine posted this. today is too much.

enoughtohold: a friend of mine posted this. today is too much.

protocol: dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” This was adorable lmao Waffle Houses are also kind of popular places to get shot at but other than that it’s pretty dank
protocol: dank-space-memes:
inkandcayenne:

wilfulwayfarer:

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary


People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”


This was adorable lmao
Waffle Houses are also kind of popular places to get shot at but other than that it’s pretty dank

dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatory...

protocol: dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” This was adorable lmao
protocol: dank-space-memes:

inkandcayenne:

wilfulwayfarer:

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary


People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”


This was adorable lmao

dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanator...

protocol: dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanatorypower: i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me This is the america they don’t want you to see i love america This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry *group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say. Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture:  Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered. Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced. The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.”  Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House” The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone) It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.” This was adorable lmao
protocol: dank-space-memes:

inkandcayenne:

wilfulwayfarer:

rasec-wizzlbang:

dalaisa-katili:

local-emo-mom:

anarcho-individualist:

explanatorypower:
i dont understand this at all and america scares the fuck out of me

This is the america they don’t want you to see

i love america

This is what you call Waffle House at 2 am when the bars close and everyone is drunk and hungry

*group of people having fun*this site: wtf this is so scary


People having safe fun at a waffle house is scary for most Tumblr bloggers, reports say.

Some context for those not familiar with Waffle House Culture: 
Waffle House is one of the few chains in America that’s open 24/7/365, and where you can get both breakfast and lunch/dinner options at any time (I have had so many Breakfast Cheeseburgers at Waffle Houses). The food is really good, and people eat there at all times of the day or night, but it’s particularly popular as a late-night post-drinking spot because it’s all that’s open and it’s the kind of food that tastes especially good when you’re hammered.
Part of Waffle House Protocol is that all the servers and cooks greet every single customer as they come through the door. It sounds lame, but I’ve never been to a Waffle House where that greeting didn’t feel completely heartfelt. My mom is a health nut who could barely find anything on the menu she was willing to eat and yet she describes the Christmas Day lunch we had there one year as one of the nicest meals she’s ever had because everyone was so warm and welcoming. That sense of camaraderie gets turned up to 11, of course, at 2 a.m. when everyone’s shitfaced.
The jukeboxes have Waffle-House-themed songs on them (once you have heard “Raisins in my Toast” you will be earwormed forever) and there is an arcane system of hash brown ordering: scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, diced, peppered, and/or capped. The hot sauce bottles say “Casa de Waffle.” 
Once, in Oxford (UK), my husband and I walked past a kebab van very late one night and he said “why do I smell Waffle House”
The location of most Waffle Houses means there’s some… classism that tends to get tied up with Anti-Waffle House Discourse, which is probably lending itself, in part, to this being such a fraught topic. (I’m looking at a map and apparently I was born and raised right in the middle of the Peak Waffle House Density Zone)
It is, in the words of chef Anthony Bourdain, “indeed marvelous— an irony-free zone where everything is beautiful and nothing hurts; where everybody regardless of race, creed, color or degree of inebriation is welcomed.”


This was adorable lmao

dank-space-memes: inkandcayenne: wilfulwayfarer: rasec-wizzlbang: dalaisa-katili: local-emo-mom: anarcho-individualist: explanator...

protocol: m4ge iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip creanm you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids" Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks Actual conversation I had at register Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?" How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry?" A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?" Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me." At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being. Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it. "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am." How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually One then. alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. ta was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place. Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup. Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book. ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream my manager had. Good lord. When an elder one visits Starbucks.
protocol: m4ge
 iwalk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice
 latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that
 i intend to transcend humanity and become a god.
 i ask for no whip creanm
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually
 order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso
 (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me
 dead in the eyes and said "i have 5 kids"
 Ionce had a woman come in and ordered an
 Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink
 took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and
 she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk
 about that woman. We never saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 Actual conversation I had at register
 Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I
 get you, today?"
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?"
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?"
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be l suppose.. only have a button
 for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty
 ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now
 How many 'add shots' is that?"
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with clears
 throat* "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso.
 But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start
 to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us
 to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me."
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in
 the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being.
 Oh. Well, okay." I put on my absolute best customer
 service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must
 face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We carn
 certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar
 coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch
 demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden
 coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it.
 "Do you still have the 'Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes ma am."
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to
 this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one
 per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually
 One then.
 alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays,
 dumps the change and five golden dollars into the
 tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station.
 Normally we called and pass, but this was not
 something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the
 minor break with protocol, until she sees the order.
 She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater
 insight into her terrifying being is within my grasp,
 simply stands on the other side and says, calmly
 but with a commanding tone I expect of Admirals
 in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are
 dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be.
 She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's
 of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready
 position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti
 cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 ta was damn near shaking. This woman's
 gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are
 pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place.
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar
 and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to
 down what must have been half the damn cup.
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was
 honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we
 knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly
 begin talking about "The Company" as if we'd never
 I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And
 when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act
 shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre
 of literature. Please collect all these and
 more into a book.
 ..I thought Venti Espresso Cryptid was a fever dream
 my manager had. Good lord.
When an elder one visits Starbucks.

When an elder one visits Starbucks.

protocol: disneyscreencaps.com batbrobeyond: jetgreguar: disneytrivia: In the scene in The Incredibles where Helen (Elastagirl) is flying the plane, her use of radio protocol is exceptionally accurate for a movie. The terminology used hints that she has had military flight training. In the director’s commentary Brad Bird says that actress Holly Hunter insisted on learning both the lingo and its meaning. “VFR on top” means she is flying in the regime of Visual Flight Rules ‘on top’ of a cloud cover. She requests “vectors to the initial”, or directions on how to get to the initial landing approach. “Angels 10” is her altitude call, ten thousand feet. This is a military term. Civilian flights use the term “flight level”. “Track east” is her direction of travel. “Buddy spike(d)” is a US military brevity code meaning “friendly anti-aircraft radar has locked on to me, (please don’t shoot)”. “Transmitting in the Blind Guard” is a call on the emergency frequency where 2-way communication has not been established. “Abort” is also a military brevity code, a directive meaning “stop the action/mission/attack”. god i love when actors/ voice actors are intent on using correct lingo for things like this its so easy to BS this sort of thing and sometimes it might work but it’s vastly more impressive when they actually use correct terminology  She also uses the handle “India Golf Niner-Niner” or, in the NATO Phonetic Alphabet, IG99. The Iron Giant (1999), also directed by Brad Bird.
protocol: disneyscreencaps.com
batbrobeyond:
jetgreguar:

disneytrivia:

In the scene in The Incredibles where Helen (Elastagirl) is flying the plane, her use of radio protocol is exceptionally accurate for a movie. The terminology used hints that she has had military flight training. In the director’s commentary Brad Bird says that actress Holly Hunter insisted on learning both the lingo and its meaning.
“VFR on top” means she is flying in the regime of Visual Flight Rules ‘on top’ of a cloud cover.
She requests “vectors to the initial”, or directions on how to get to the initial landing approach.
“Angels 10” is her altitude call, ten thousand feet. This is a military term. Civilian flights use the term “flight level”.
“Track east” is her direction of travel.
“Buddy spike(d)” is a US military brevity code meaning “friendly anti-aircraft radar has locked on to me, (please don’t shoot)”.
“Transmitting in the Blind Guard” is a call on the emergency frequency where 2-way communication has not been established.
“Abort” is also a military brevity code, a directive meaning “stop the action/mission/attack”.

god i love when actors/ voice actors are intent on using correct lingo for things like this
its so easy to BS this sort of thing and sometimes it might work but it’s vastly more impressive when they actually use correct terminology 

She also uses the handle “India Golf Niner-Niner” or, in the NATO Phonetic Alphabet, IG99.
The Iron Giant (1999), also directed by Brad Bird.

batbrobeyond: jetgreguar: disneytrivia: In the scene in The Incredibles where Helen (Elastagirl) is flying the plane, her use of radio...

protocol: m4ge walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again. anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation Ihad at register: Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso? -I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink. Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that?" deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?" My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am. How many can I add?" Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individualy One then." I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that. When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, I had one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book A modern day coffee shop cryptid
protocol: m4ge
 walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso. i
 tell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and saidi
 have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said "I just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again.
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation Ihad at register:
 Hi, welcome to [StarbucksI What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?
 -I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I supposeI only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink.
 Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?"
 deep breath of fear* "td be a quad with, "clears throat "uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon, I am sure of it
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?"
 My heart began to race at this request. "Yes ma am.
 How many can I add?"
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons,
 we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individualy
 One then."
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five
 golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was..not something to be spoken aloud
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order. She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her territying being
 is within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 commanding tone lexpect of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutiful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand nevw
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the tires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy. And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that.
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy, other
 Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, I had one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
A modern day coffee shop cryptid

A modern day coffee shop cryptid

protocol: Paul Musgrave @profmusgrave Following Which teachers get guns? Where will the guns be stored? Who decides when guns can be brandished? What penalties will apply if teachers mishandle a weapon? Will teachers volunteer for gun duty? Can teachers refuse it? Who will audit their adherence to regulations? 12:06 PM -18 Feb 2018 701t 3.3K 7.7K Tweet your reply Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will students know which teachers have weapons? Who will be liable if the teacher with the gun becomes the shooter? What will be the consequences when students are accidentally shot by a teacher? How will armed teachers communicate in a tactical situation? 937 l 396 1.7K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will teachers with a history of mental illness be allowed to use weapons? Will teachers be required to disclose any history of mental illness? Will teachers be issued a weapon? Reimbursed for purchase? For ammunition? Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 How will administrators conduct non-weapon-related discipline against a teacher? Will there be armed assistance available to deter workplace shootings? Who will shepherd the armed teacher's classroom while the teacher is attempting to locate the active shooter? Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 What happens when a teacher misidentifies a student as a threat in good faith? Will teachers who do not carry lethal weapons be offered non lethal alternatives? If an armed teacher is shot, can another teacher employ his or her weapon? Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 How will armed teachers identify themselves to arriving first responders? Will armed teachers be required to learn how to give first-response medicine? Will armed teachers be required to attempt an arrest before using lethal force? Under what circumstances? 20 32 1.3K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will proficiency training on weapons count for teachers' continuing education and professional development? How will insurers adjust health and other rates to account for the presence of armed employees? Will teachers receive additional pay for being armed? 291 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 how often will armed teachers be re-evaluated for licensing purposes? Will armed teachers leading field trips deposit their weapons in a personally owned vehicle or school-owned transport? Will one teacher per wing of a school building receive weapons? Two? Three? 15 269 1.2K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Exactly which standards will count for proficiency-greater than a big-city police department, State Police, FBl, hobbyist, marksman? In training scenarios, how will using force against innocents be penalized? Will racial sensitivity courses be required? Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Do parents have a right to refuse to send their kids to schools with guns? Will students have to sign waivers? Will parents? What if a parent signs a waiver for a minor student who, when that student turns 18, refuses to abide by its provisions? 10 t 267 1.2K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will teachers on probation be allowed to carry weapons? What about teachers with active union grievances? Complaints about sexual harassment? Anger management? Divorce proceedings? Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will armed teachers wear holsters? Will they be stationed strategically during pep rallies or other gatherings? Wil armed or unarmed? Il they participate in lockdown drills as if they were 15 249 1.1K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will funding for the policies outlined above be distributed according to local budgets, statewide formulas, or national formulas? Will schools in high-risk neighborhoods receive more or less funding? Suburban schools? 9 10 th 234 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 What is the right ratio of armed:unarmed teachers by grade level? What is the procedure for debriefing and assessing armed teachers' performance during a crisis? Can an armed teacher who flinches be fired? Can an armed teacher who breaks protocol be rewarded? 11 t233 1.1K Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18 Will preschool teachers have guns? Will teachers in "juvie" (high risk) schools have guns? Will the teacher or the school be liable if their gun is stolen? Can administrators carry weapons? Can they do so in disciplinary situations? mamafox18: room-where-it-happens: Paul Musgrave from the University of Massachusetts - Amherst, with a list of some of the questions anyone wanting to “arm teachers” must begin to answer if they wish to offer a serious policy proposal. Every. Single. One. Of these questions and more needs to be asked AND answered if this asinine proposal actually goes anywhere.
protocol: Paul Musgrave
 @profmusgrave
 Following
 Which teachers get guns?
 Where will the guns be stored?
 Who decides when guns can be
 brandished?
 What penalties will apply if teachers
 mishandle a weapon?
 Will teachers volunteer for gun duty?
 Can teachers refuse it?
 Who will audit their adherence to
 regulations?
 12:06 PM -18 Feb 2018
 701t 3.3K 7.7K
 Tweet your reply
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will students know which teachers have weapons?
 Who will be liable if the teacher with the gun becomes the shooter?
 What will be the consequences when students are accidentally shot by a teacher?
 How will armed teachers communicate in a tactical situation?
 937 l 396 1.7K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will teachers with a history of mental illness be allowed to use weapons?
 Will teachers be required to disclose any history of mental illness?
 Will teachers be issued a weapon? Reimbursed for purchase? For ammunition?

 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 How will administrators conduct non-weapon-related discipline against a teacher?
 Will there be armed assistance available to deter workplace shootings?
 Who will shepherd the armed teacher's classroom while the teacher is attempting
 to locate the active shooter?
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 What happens when a teacher misidentifies a student as a threat in good faith?
 Will teachers who do not carry lethal weapons be offered non lethal alternatives?
 If an armed teacher is shot, can another teacher employ his or her weapon?
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 How will armed teachers identify themselves to arriving first responders?
 Will armed teachers be required to learn how to give first-response medicine?
 Will armed teachers be required to attempt an arrest before using lethal force?
 Under what circumstances?
 20 32 1.3K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will proficiency training on weapons count for teachers' continuing education and
 professional development?
 How will insurers adjust health and other rates to account for the presence of
 armed employees?
 Will teachers receive additional pay for being armed?
 291
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 how often will armed teachers be re-evaluated for licensing purposes?
 Will armed teachers leading field trips deposit their weapons in a personally
 owned vehicle or school-owned transport?
 Will one teacher per wing of a school building receive weapons? Two? Three?
 15 269 1.2K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Exactly which standards will count for proficiency-greater than a big-city police
 department, State Police, FBl, hobbyist, marksman?
 In training scenarios, how will using force against innocents be penalized?
 Will racial sensitivity courses be required?

 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Do parents have a right to refuse to send their kids to schools with guns?
 Will students have to sign waivers? Will parents? What if a parent signs a waiver
 for a minor student who, when that student turns 18, refuses to abide by its
 provisions?
 10 t 267
 1.2K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will teachers on probation be allowed to carry weapons?
 What about teachers with active union grievances? Complaints about sexual
 harassment? Anger management? Divorce proceedings?
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will armed teachers wear holsters? Will they be stationed strategically during pep
 rallies or other gatherings? Wil
 armed or unarmed?
 Il they participate in lockdown drills as if they were
 15 249 1.1K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will funding for the policies outlined above be distributed according to local
 budgets, statewide formulas, or national formulas?
 Will schools in high-risk neighborhoods receive more or less funding? Suburban
 schools?
 9 10 th 234
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 What is the right ratio of armed:unarmed teachers by grade level?
 What is the procedure for debriefing and assessing armed teachers' performance
 during a crisis?
 Can an armed teacher who flinches be fired? Can an armed teacher who breaks
 protocol be rewarded?
 11 t233 1.1K
 Paul Musgrave@profmusgrave Feb 18
 Will preschool teachers have guns?
 Will teachers in "juvie" (high risk) schools have guns?
 Will the teacher or the school be liable if their gun is stolen?
 Can administrators carry weapons? Can they do so in disciplinary situations?
mamafox18:
room-where-it-happens:
Paul Musgrave from the University of Massachusetts - Amherst, with a list of some of the questions anyone wanting to “arm teachers” must begin to answer if they wish to offer a serious policy proposal.
Every. Single. One. Of these questions and more needs to be asked AND answered if this asinine proposal actually goes anywhere.

mamafox18: room-where-it-happens: Paul Musgrave from the University of Massachusetts - Amherst, with a list of some of the questions anyo...

protocol: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow m4ge i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for no whip cream avantgaye you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said i have 5 kids witchcraft-with-space-bean I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never saw her again anais-ninja-blog new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks katjohnadams Actual conversation I had at register: "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today? How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?" 1-I'm sorry? A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso? Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink." "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is that? deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them- Taste means nothing to me. At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what must clearly be an eldritch being Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We can certainly get that for you! The price will be She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i. Do you still have the Add Energy' packets? My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam. How many can I add? Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets individually "One then. I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud. My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol, until she sees the order She stares at me. "No." The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes. My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn cup Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus, "Yeah, Ihad one like that." smartassjen Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all these and more into a book jennyboom21 So 5 shots isn't normal??? Source: m4ge 284,670 notes Starbucks Lore
protocol: pancakeswithketchupmoonsan... Follow
 m4ge
 i walk into starbucks and order a pumpkin spice latte with 13 shots of espresso
 itell the barista that i intend to transcend humanity and become a god. i ask for
 no whip cream
 avantgaye
 you say this jokingly but i had a customer actually order a pumpkin spice latte
 with 9 shots of espresso (also no whip) and when i asked her to verify that she
 did indeed want 9 shots of espresso she looked me dead in the eyes and said
 i have 5 kids
 witchcraft-with-space-bean
 I once had a woman come in and ordered an Americano with 19 shots of
 espresso. The drink took ages. It held up the line. I asked her why, and she
 shrugged and said " just don't care". We still talk about that woman. We never
 saw her again
 anais-ninja-blog
 new cryptid: exhausted woman at starbucks
 katjohnadams
 Actual conversation I had at register:
 "Hi, welcome to [Starbucks! What can I get you, today?
 How much is it to fill a Venti with Espresso?"
 1-I'm sorry?
 A venti cup. How much to fill it with Espresso?
 Oh. uh. Well, it'd be I suppose... I only have a button for a Quad. I don't have
 special pricing for twenty ounces of espresso in a single... drink."
 "Price is the furthest thing from my mind right now. How many 'add shots' is
 that?
 deep breath of fear* "t'd be a quad with," "clears throat uh, sixteen additional
 shots of espresso. But, ma'am, I should tell you that the shots will start to get
 really bitter if they have to sit and wait for us to pull twenty of them-
 Taste means nothing to me.
 At this point I am truly fearing for my very existence in the presence of what
 must clearly be an eldritch being
 Oh. Well, okay." put on my absolute best customer service smile to hide my
 terror and accept that I must face this dragon, fae, or demon with dignity. "We
 can certainly get that for you! The price will be
 She begins to pay, I shit thee not, with golden dollar coins. We are a block from
 Wall Street, and this eldritch demi-being is paying for an unholy elixer with
 golden coins. My life will end soon,I am sure of i.
 Do you still have the Add Energy' packets?
 My heart began to race at this request. Yes maam.
 How many can I add?
 Futile though it is, at least I know the rote response to this. "For health
 reasons, we won't add more than one per drink and we cannot sell the packets
 individually
 "One then.
 I alter the order and tell her the new price. She pays, dumps the change and
 five golden dollars into the tip box. I write the order on the venti cup and pass it
 silently to the girl working the hot beverage station. Normally we called and
 pass, but this was not something to be spoken aloud.
 My fellow takes the cup, not thinking anything of the minor break with protocol,
 until she sees the order She stares at me. "No."
 The woman, which I call her for no other greater insight into her terrifying being
 s within my grasp, simply stands on the other side and says, calmly but with a
 of Admirals in bad movies, "Yes.
 My fellow barista pales before her task. But we are dutful, we are true to our
 task, great though it may be. She sets about clearing the two brand new
 Matrena's of all distraction, and sets two tall cups in the ready position. The
 energy packet is emptied into the venti cup, and the shots begin pouring
 The barista was damn near shaking. This woman's gaze felt like the fires of the
 sun. Finally, the shots are pulled, the cup is filled, and the hand off takes place
 Our visiting Incomprehensible takes it to our milk bar and adds a dollop of
 cream. Satisfied, she proceeds to down what must have been half the damn
 cup
 Then she smiled at us, like a benediction and I was honestly filled with joy And
 horror. She left, and we knew nothing more of her after that
 When I talk with other former employees, we quickly begin talking about The
 Company" as if we'd never I, perhaps knowing that part of our soul still powers
 that awesome and terrible corporate machine. And when I share this stroy
 other Baristas at first act shocked but quickly settle and comes the chorus,
 "Yeah, Ihad one like that."
 smartassjen
 Okay, Starbucks lore is my new favorite genre of literature. Please collect all
 these and more into a book
 jennyboom21
 So 5 shots isn't normal???
 Source: m4ge
 284,670 notes
Starbucks Lore

Starbucks Lore