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Pretty Boy: pretty-boy-jon: ooswinssouffle: appropriately-inappropriate: rukafais: graveyardhorse: korrakun: my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy drink into his coffee said "i'm going to die" and drank the whole thing i knew a guy who brewed his instant coffee with monster instead of water. three cups in two hours. i think he ascended to the astral realm the survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me TABI ANECDOTE My final year I lived with engineering masters students. One night, I'm finishing up my final paper, I'm juuuust backing up my final copy, and my housemate's cat knocks a vase over onto my laptop. Which wouldn't be a problem except my cable had been chewed on (thanks Kobe), so the wiring was exposed. Circuits short out, I fling myself back to avoid electrocution and by the time we get the situation handled, my laptop AND my external hard drive have been fried by the surge. I mean, fried. Like, they-are-vaguely-smoking fried. I tart to cry, because there goes fifty percent of my final grade. Ahmad just goes "it's okay, we will fix". I'm like "how the fuck do you propose that?" And he's like "I have spare laptop." "THIS IS DUE IN THE AM!" And he looks me dead in the eye and goes, "I said I will help. Go get the laptop." So off I go. By the time I make it downstairs, there's this chemical Ireek/ in the kitchen. I go in and there he is, methodically crushing caffeine pills with the bottom of a glass on a ceramic plate, periodically dusting the powder into a cooking pot. Meanwhile, his coffee pot is chugging away on the counter. As I watch, he takes the coffee pot, empties it into the cooking pot, lets THAT come to a boil and dumps in some of his Turkish coffee, AND the remaining caffeine pill powder, which by now is starting to look uncomfortably like coke. He lets that steep, and by now the coffee/burning smell is so strong it's woken up all six of the other housemates, who have all come downstairs and are vacillating between staring at my laptop and at this concoction with undisguised horror. He pours this sludge into a mug, stirs in about four /tablespoons/ of sugar and slides it my way. | figure that I'm probably dead either way regardless, so I suck it back, through my teeth as I go. filtering the gror I've had three sips when it hits, and I feel my heart trip on a beat. I must have gone white cause he nods, all pleased, and points me at his laptop. Long story short, I got an week's extension, didn't sleep for five days, had a conversation with my BLINDS in SPANISH, and got a B+, with a note that it was an "engaging read and well-written, when intelligible". To this day, coffee any stronger than a pale off-beige makes my chest hurt. I honestly thought he was going to drink the coffee and perform was magic on the laptop but. nope. even better. Honest to god, I really want to know how that conversation with the blinds went. Bruh. BRUH. College coffee storiesomg-humor.tumblr.com
Pretty Boy: pretty-boy-jon:
 ooswinssouffle:
 appropriately-inappropriate:
 rukafais:
 graveyardhorse:
 korrakun:
 my favorite college experience is when i had a 7am class
 and the kid next to me literally poured a monster energy
 drink into his coffee said "i'm going to die" and drank the
 whole thing
 i knew a guy who brewed his instant coffee with monster
 instead of water. three cups in two hours. i think he ascended
 to the astral realm
 the survivability of the human race never ceases to amaze me
 TABI ANECDOTE
 My final year I lived with engineering masters students. One night, I'm
 finishing up my final paper, I'm juuuust backing up my final copy, and
 my housemate's cat knocks a vase over onto my laptop.
 Which wouldn't be a problem except my cable had been chewed on
 (thanks Kobe), so the wiring was exposed. Circuits short out, I fling
 myself back to avoid electrocution and by the time we get the situation
 handled, my laptop AND my external hard drive have been fried by
 the surge.
 I mean, fried. Like, they-are-vaguely-smoking fried.
 I tart to cry, because there goes fifty percent of my final grade.
 Ahmad just goes "it's okay, we will fix". I'm like "how the fuck do you
 propose that?" And he's like "I have spare laptop." "THIS IS DUE IN
 THE AM!"
 And he looks me dead in the eye and goes, "I said I will help. Go get
 the laptop."
 So off I go. By the time I make it downstairs, there's this chemical
 Ireek/ in the kitchen. I go in and there he is, methodically crushing
 caffeine pills with the bottom of a glass on a ceramic plate,
 periodically dusting the powder into a cooking pot. Meanwhile, his
 coffee pot is chugging away on the counter.
 As I watch, he takes the coffee pot, empties it into the cooking pot,
 lets THAT come to a boil and dumps in some of his Turkish coffee,
 AND the remaining caffeine pill powder, which by now is starting to
 look uncomfortably like coke.
 He lets that steep, and by now the coffee/burning smell is so strong
 it's woken up all six of the other housemates, who have all come
 downstairs and are vacillating between staring at my laptop and at
 this concoction with undisguised horror.
 He pours this sludge into a mug, stirs in about four /tablespoons/ of
 sugar and slides it my way.
 | figure that I'm probably dead either way regardless, so I suck it back,
 through my teeth as I go.
 filtering the gror
 I've had three sips when it hits, and I feel my heart trip on a beat. I
 must have gone white cause he nods, all pleased, and points me at
 his laptop.
 Long story short, I got an week's extension, didn't sleep for five days,
 had a conversation with my BLINDS in SPANISH, and got a B+, with a
 note that it was an "engaging read and well-written, when intelligible".
 To this day, coffee any stronger than a pale off-beige makes my chest
 hurt.
 I honestly thought he was going to drink the coffee and perform was
 magic on the laptop but. nope. even better. Honest to god, I really want
 to know how that conversation with the blinds went.
 Bruh. BRUH.
College coffee storiesomg-humor.tumblr.com

College coffee storiesomg-humor.tumblr.com