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Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans. Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this: A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. No thanks. Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers. How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess. He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover. Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case. Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.” If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go. I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been
Anaconda, Betty White, and Chris Evans: bundibird:

wrangletangle:

stevenrogered:
Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win
Okay listen up, all you dudes out there! It’s time for some life lessons from Chris Evans.
Wonder why women are fine with this when he does it, but they find you opening a car door or offering to carry stuff for them annoying? Well, wonder no more! It works like this:
A large number of women have had to learn how to dodge and swerve and sometimes even slap away men’s hands from the time they hit puberty - and sometimes before. Ladies, cis and trans both, are unfortunately experienced at being groped, poked, prodded, “helped”, and otherwise humiliated and threatened by men. Then also there’s the condescending attitude that of course we need a man’s help, and we should be grateful he offered it. 
No thanks.
Chris is doing something very different here, and you’ll see it in similar video clips of him at other events. You can read his mental process in his body language. He starts with just clapping and congratulating. He offers nothing until there is a need, which doesn’t happen here until Regina’s shoe gets caught on her dress. Since women have literally tripped up the stairs at this ceremony several times over the years (because the shoe and clothing requirements are ridiculous), it is reasonable at this stage to think that my-shoe-caught-on-my-dress is a problem that actually needs to be addressed. This is when Chris offers.
How he offers matters. He starts with an open hand toward her, but this is a big no-no. Open hands are a red flag. Open hands grope and grab and shove. He quickly corrects by flipping his arm over and offering his forearm instead. This makes it her choice whether to grab on or ignore him. She doesn’t have to contend with a potentially threatening hand while she’s also contending with her dress. 
He also bends down a bit to do this. I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but Chris is kind of a tall, beefy guy. Guys like that can be a bit intimidating without meaning to be, at least when they’re up close. Also, his arm is a bit too high to be useful to her if he stays at his full height. So he bends down. This is even more visible in the video from him doing this for Betty White at the 2015 Oscars, because she’s shorter than Regina, I guess.
He offers his arm for exactly as long as she leans on it. When she lets go, he steps back. This is a guy who isn’t interested in showing off how much she needs his help. He’s just interested in helping, and when he’s not needed, he’s done. He goes back to sit down. He doesn’t hover.
Also, Regina King knows who Chris Evans is. His behavior at work thus far has certainly made it into the rumor mill, thus factoring into whether she accepts help from him. Is he a dudebro or jerk to women at work? That doesn’t appear to be the case.
Women are not helpless. Compared to men, our clothes are more often obstacles to getting where we need to go safely and with our dignity intact, but conversely, we’ve also learned to deal with that better than most men have. It’s not that we never need or want help; like all people, we do sometimes need a hand. It’s just that “some kinds of help are the kinds of help we all could do without.”
If you are offering help to a woman, first make sure she actually appears to be struggling. Second, make yourself as unthreatening as possible and let her do any touching, not the other way around. Third, make sure she can refuse without any consequences. And fourth, back off as soon as she doesn’t need you anymore and let the moment go.


I hadn’t even registered why exactly it was that he was so unthreatening in this and the Betty White assistance incidents, but you’re right. It’s all in the way he helps. It’s not that this is unthreatening behaviour “because he’s Chris Evans” – its because his body language is genuinely unthreatening and merely helpful. 
A+ analysis – I hadn’t even registered the details of why and how this behaviour was 100% ok, while from another man (who probably would have gone about it differentky) it might not have been

bundibird: wrangletangle: stevenrogered: Chris Evans helps Regina King up the stairs to the stage after her Oscars win Okay listen up, all...

Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR ISEE WHAT YOU DID THERE 0 dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: follow forthefuns for more funny stuff Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture. Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?! Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.   Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words. I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture! Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations! Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?
Being Alone, Batman, and Books: LIBRARIAN HUMOR
 ISEE WHAT
 YOU DID THERE
 0
dracophile:

randomthingieshere:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

pheenixwright:

invenblocker:

forthefuns:

follow forthefuns for more funny stuff

Your honor! Please direct your attention towards the manga.As you can see there are small pieces of paper sticking out of every volume.But no such paper is sticking out of the Batman comic.The reason? The Batman book doesn’t belong to the library. The photographer put it there to take a picture.

Once again making hasty assumptions, Wright?First of all, I’d like to direct the court’s attention to this particular spot, in the top right-hand corner.Notice how the words are blocking the top of the Batman book.With this in mind, how can you claim that there is “no such paper sticking out of the Batman comic”?!

Say whaaaat?Well uhmLook at the size of the paper pieces, they’re all sticking pretty far out.If there was paper in the batman comic, it would be big enough to stick up over the text.And while gravity does exist, it probably won’t make the paper do a 90 degree turn and just lean horisontally left at the middle.Still grasping for straws, Wright?Hypothetically, if there were a paper there, this picture would not be able to prove its presence. I’ve taken the liberty of drawing a diagram to illustrate my point. We are faced with three possibilities. It is possible that (1) the paper was simply tucked in deeper than the others.Paper is a soft material, Wright. It’s not unreasonable for it to do a (2) 90 degree turn. Or perhaps, (3) a paper does not exist there at all. Either way, you cannot prove your client innocent without sufficient evidence.  

Which, of course, is impossible thanks to the obtrusive words.



I’m sorry Edgeworth.I concede that I can’t disprove theory 1But the image you submited for theory 2 is contradictory.Look at the tilt of the other papers. They clearly prove how much the paper would tilt.And theory 3 is my point! Why would the library’s book not have this piece of paper when the other library books do?While you still have thory 1, there is another contradiction.The books are not in alphabetical order, this proves that the batman comic was placed there specifically for the picture!

Ack.(Perhaps I should’ve left the artistry to the forensic artist…)Now hold it right there! It doesn’t matter which direction the paper is going because it’s impossible to prove it even exists!Those theories are all the same! We do not have enough information to prove them. There could be an infinite amount of papers in there for all we know. I simply presented them only so that the court could better understand your baseless conjecture!… I suppose the order of the books do seem out of the ordinary. However, therein lies not just one possibility. Clearly, those are Japanese graphic novels, also known as “manga”. And the Batman comic book is a graphic novel, too, no?Seeing as it currently has only graphic novels in the shelf, it is possible that any other novels have simply not yet been restocked. Asserting whether or not this effect was deliberate is useless– there is no way of knowing if the photographer and the captioner are the same person, let alone their involvement in this picture.Face it Wright, you can’t prove any of these groundless accusations!

Did everyone just ignore the library sticker?

dracophile: randomthingieshere: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: pheenixwright: invenblocker: forthefuns: ...

Bad, Community, and Crying: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund Be the first to share Tweet Share thats-tea: thats-tea: Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time. Here’s her post: “Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that. Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.” GoFundMe It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time. We’ve personally donated $900. We helped her apply for an influencer job on twitter, and it’s looking like they’re going to accept her, so she’s scared to put her image there or would make the post directly on twitter. She’s nervous it might hurt her in getting the job, since she’s been out of a job for awhile, and she’s afraid if she misses this chance she’d continue being out of a job for a long time. We’ve been helping her get a new job because of the conditions she’s in She’s extremely scared she’ll lose the opportunity if she’s seen by those checking her accounts that she’d lose this opportunity, and we tried to convince her. Normally when people come to us and report they’re going through something, we pay their costs directly. Including rent, food, cellphone/electricity bills, among other things. So we’re constantly spending high hundreds to thousands a week/month. When it comes to situations when the person needs thousands, we can’t/don’t give directly thousands to one person, it prevents us from helping the others who comes to us for help with the money we set aside to help people. Normally take over a person’s problem by paying monthly if possible, if they could make that plan. we had her create this gofundme specifically because she was crying about jaw pain. If this doesn’t work, next month we’ll have money aside to pay for it completely. We had her make this GoFundMe specifically because physical pain was involved. If it doesn’t work here on tumblr, I’ll try and force her to have the post made on twitter/facebook since this is a matter of pain.  We’ve also been helping with her living conditions which we’ll keep private. If she insists, next month we’ll set enough aside to personally pay her entire thing and ask her to just bear through it for this month. Though we never make these posts, In the coming future we’ll be able to do even more for people and our budget limits will rise even more so we won’t ever have to ask the public. It’s only because it’s a current matter of physical pain, it would mean a lot if you can donate anything. 
Bad, Community, and Crying: Emergency Jaw Sugery Fund
 Be the first to share
 Tweet
 Share
thats-tea:
thats-tea:

Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months of being on twitter. We told her to create a GoFundMe so the community could help and she was nervous to. If you could help her it would mean a lot, and would help her through something she’s been going through for a long time.
Here’s her post:
“Hello everyone! When I was born my jaw was significantly smaller than it should normally be and my mother was told by doctors that they should brake my jaw as an infant and add an implant so I wouldn’t have to worry about jaw problems in the future, my mother refused so that has what brought me to make this gofundme. I’m 21 years old and I provide for my family, I currently saved over 5,000 dollars by myself, recently I left my job for another opportunity and the other job opportunity ended up being horrible so I need this help more than ever. My jaw/teeth situation has gotten worse and worse in past months as my teeth are growing into my gums and it has effected my sleep and mental health, it’s gotten to the point where I get very bad lock jaw and can barley speak.The surgery itself is 7,600 dollars and in total with the hospital room and anesthesia its 9,910, I’ve already saved half of that.
Please help if you can, thank you so much for reading this.”
GoFundMe
It would mean a lot if you could donate anything you can. If you can’t that’s okay as well, you’d also be doing a lot if you shared. Thank you, and sorry for taking up your time.

We’ve personally donated $900. We helped her apply for an influencer job on twitter, and it’s looking like they’re going to accept her, so she’s scared to put her image there or would make the post directly on twitter. She’s nervous it might hurt her in getting the job, since she’s been out of a job for awhile, and she’s afraid if she misses this chance she’d continue being out of a job for a long time. We’ve been helping her get a new job because of the conditions she’s in
She’s extremely scared she’ll lose the opportunity if she’s seen by those checking her accounts that she’d lose this opportunity, and we tried to convince her.
Normally when people come to us and report they’re going through something, we pay their costs directly. Including rent, food, cellphone/electricity bills, among other things. So we’re constantly spending high hundreds to thousands a week/month. When it comes to situations when the person needs thousands, we can’t/don’t give directly thousands to one person, it prevents us from helping the others who comes to us for help with the money we set aside to help people. Normally take over a person’s problem by paying monthly if possible, if they could make that plan. we had her create this gofundme specifically because she was crying about jaw pain. If this doesn’t work, next month we’ll have money aside to pay for it completely. We had her make this GoFundMe specifically because physical pain was involved. If it doesn’t work here on tumblr, I’ll try and force her to have the post made on twitter/facebook since this is a matter of pain. 

We’ve also been helping with her living conditions which we’ll keep private.

 If she insists, next month we’ll set enough aside to personally pay her entire thing and ask her to just bear through it for this month.
Though we never make these posts, In the coming future we’ll be able to do even more for people and our budget limits will rise even more so we won’t ever have to ask the public. It’s only because it’s a current matter of physical pain, it would mean a lot if you can donate anything. 

thats-tea: thats-tea: Everyone, a woman came to us on twitter to ask for help. We’ve seen her speak about her pain in the past few months o...

Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me 5:01 PM I just got back from my school and they said they cannot give me any aid except for unsubsidised loans unless l have a child, get married, or turn 24, so I have to get married Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a better fafsa application too Wait seriously Would you really do it Im doing actual research on it Are we doing this It would have to happen like lightning fast cause my next semester happens pretty damn soon I don't know how fast this happens lemme check Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get a marriage license which can be up to $30 depending on where we get it, and THEN we need to file for a marriage certificate I'm an ordained minister but idk if I could file my own marriage certificate get ordained and do it Can we go to Indiana? Let me check Dude Im so excited Its possible that I can get FAFSA to pay for an entire apartment for me to go to school in Milwaukee DUDE WHAT Okay so there's no minister registration required in lllinois so Yeah I'm looking that up right now Ive heard that if one partner commits adultery, thats grounds for a quicker divorce Yeah this sample form I'm looking at says "irretrievable breakdown" of marriage Worse comes to worse we can stage a fight but I think we can just say yeah it's not working out Does it include adultery divorce ranging from $15,000 to $30,000. Most of this money is spent on legal fees. So Fuck lawyers We don't need a lawyer We don't have kids we don't have property to divide up Oh thats only for a lawyer We don't have alimony to negotiate We're just two guys being dudes. Gettin a divorce portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking for this post for ages listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.
Dude, Fafsa, and Lawyer: Can you marry me
 5:01 PM
 I just got back from my school
 and they said they cannot give
 me any aid except for
 unsubsidised loans unless l
 have a child, get married, or
 turn 24, so I have to get married
 Yeah ok I'll marry you I need a
 better fafsa application too
 Wait seriously
 Would you really do it
 Im doing actual research on it

 Are we doing this
 It would have to happen like
 lightning fast cause my next
 semester happens pretty
 damn soon
 I don't know how fast this
 happens lemme check
 Ughhhh okay so we'd need to get
 a marriage license which can be
 up to $30 depending on where we
 get it, and THEN we need to file
 for a marriage certificate
 I'm an ordained minister but idk if
 I could file my own marriage
 certificate

 get ordained and do it
 Can we go to Indiana?
 Let me check
 Dude Im so excited
 Its possible that I can get
 FAFSA to pay for an entire
 apartment for me to go to
 school in Milwaukee
 DUDE WHAT
 Okay so there's no minister
 registration required in lllinois so

 Yeah I'm looking that up right
 now
 Ive heard that if one partner
 commits adultery, thats
 grounds for a quicker divorce
 Yeah this sample form I'm
 looking at says "irretrievable
 breakdown" of marriage
 Worse comes to worse we can
 stage a fight but I think we can
 just say yeah it's not working out
 Does it include adultery

 divorce ranging from $15,000
 to $30,000. Most of this money
 is spent on legal fees.
 So Fuck lawyers
 We don't need a lawyer
 We don't have kids we don't have
 property to divide up
 Oh thats only for a lawyer
 We don't have alimony to
 negotiate
 We're just two guys being dudes.
 Gettin a divorce
portraitofemmy:

possiblestoner:

marzipanandminutiae:

A. imagine your otp
B. dear gods this country has massive issues

I’ve been looking for this post for ages

listen, I’ve read enough fanfic to know that they’re not getting divorced, but it’ll take about 35k of pining to figure that out.

portraitofemmy: possiblestoner: marzipanandminutiae: A. imagine your otp B. dear gods this country has massive issues I’ve been looking ...

Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion 4 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s.. Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern) I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. Reply 12.0k positive-memes: Wholesome Brother in Law
Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 Posted by u/tmurg375 15h
 What's a secret your SO still doesn't
 know about you, and why have you
 kept it secret?
 Discussion
 4 3.0k
 2.8k
 Share
 BEST COMMENTS
 Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s..
 Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h
 About eight years ago I discovered my wife's
 sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a
 variation of a username she'd used for AIM before,
 but with different numbers and no underscore
 (the numbers were a significant date to her
 though). There were too many coincidences in her
 posts for it not to be her.
 She was posting on the relationship advice sub-
 reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd
 known something was off about him, but couldn't
 really put our finger on it. I created another ac-
 count that I only accessed from incognito mode to
 send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her
 family or friends (but kinda steered her towards
 us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a
 burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and
 I make a bunch of money but we live well within
 our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap-
 pearances, so it was an understandable concern)
 I slowly, over several weeks and several different
 posts she made, convinced her that it's possible
 her family realizes something isn't quite right and
 would not consider it a burden to help her out.
 After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv
 will ever know that the random internet stranger
 who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL
 to reach out to her family for help and leave her
 abusive marriage was actually me.
 Reply 12.0k
positive-memes:
Wholesome Brother in Law

positive-memes: Wholesome Brother in Law

Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower Routine NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013 23 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed. “I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.” “I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.” Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on. In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix. Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful. “I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.” “There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.” Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time. “It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.” While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower. “I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.” “I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added. At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.
Apparently, Confused, and Family: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend's Shower
 Routine
 NEWS Local Relationships ISSUE 49-29 Jul 16, 2013
 23
 Jacob Ferris, 25, has no idea what his girlfriend Sarah uses this rock in her shower for
rubitrightintomyeyes:
theonion:

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine
SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.
“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”
“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”
Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.
In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.
Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.
“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”
“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”
Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.
“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”
While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.
“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath  Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”
“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.
At press time, a visibly perplexed Ferris had seen the rock sitting in Milstein’s trashcan and then looked in the shower to see another rock sitting in its place.

rubitrightintomyeyes: theonion: Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full exte...

Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion T 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s... About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally, It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern). I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account. Nobody will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. * Reply 12.0k
Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 Posted by u/tmurg375 15h
 What's a secret your SO still doesn't
 know about you, and why have you
 kept it secret?
 Discussion
 T 3.0k
 2.8k
 Share
 BEST COMMENTS
 Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s...
 About eight years ago I discovered my wife's
 sister's reddit account accidentally, It was a
 variation of a username she'd used for AIM before,
 but with different numbers and no underscore
 (the numbers were a significant date to her
 though). There were too many coincidences in her
 posts for it not to be her.
 She was posting on the relationship advice sub-
 reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd
 known something was off about him, but couldn't
 really put our finger on it. I created another ac-
 count that I only accessed from incognito mode to
 send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her
 family or friends (but kinda steered her towards
 us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a
 burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and
 I make a bunch of money but we live well within
 our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap-
 pearances, so it was an understandable concern).
 I slowly, over several weeks and several different
 posts she made, convinced her that it's possible
 her family realizes something isn't quite right and
 would not consider it a burden to help her out.
 After their divorce I deleted that account. Nobody
 will ever know that the random internet stranger
 who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL
 to reach out to her family for help and leave her
 abusive marriage was actually me.
 *
 Reply
 12.0k
Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit Posted by u/tmurg375 15h What's a secret your SO still doesn't know about you, and why have you kept it secret? Discussion 4 3.0k 2.8k Share BEST COMMENTS Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s.. Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h About eight years ago I discovered my wife's sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a variation of a username she'd used for AIM before, but with different numbers and no underscore (the numbers were a significant date to her though). There were too many coincidences in her posts for it not to be her. She was posting on the relationship advice sub- reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd known something was off about him, but couldn't really put our finger on it. I created another ac- count that I only accessed from incognito mode to send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her family or friends (but kinda steered her towards us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and I make a bunch of money but we live well within our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap- pearances, so it was an understandable concern) I slowly, over several weeks and several different posts she made, convinced her that it's possible her family realizes something isn't quite right and would not consider it a burden to help her out. After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv will ever know that the random internet stranger who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL to reach out to her family for help and leave her abusive marriage was actually me. Reply 12.0k Wholesome Brother in Law
Advice, Family, and Friends: r/AskReddit
 Posted by u/tmurg375 15h
 What's a secret your SO still doesn't
 know about you, and why have you
 kept it secret?
 Discussion
 4 3.0k
 2.8k
 Share
 BEST COMMENTS
 Honkey_McCracker.9h I hate her homemade spaghetti s..
 Jollyskin 13 6画2-8h
 About eight years ago I discovered my wife's
 sister's reddit account accidentally. It was a
 variation of a username she'd used for AIM before,
 but with different numbers and no underscore
 (the numbers were a significant date to her
 though). There were too many coincidences in her
 posts for it not to be her.
 She was posting on the relationship advice sub-
 reddit. Her (now ex-) husband was abusive. We'd
 known something was off about him, but couldn't
 really put our finger on it. I created another ac-
 count that I only accessed from incognito mode to
 send her encouragement to leave, and to ask her
 family or friends (but kinda steered her towards
 us) for help. She didn't want to impose or be a
 burden on any of them (we'd just had a kid, and
 I make a bunch of money but we live well within
 our means so you wouldn't think this based on ap-
 pearances, so it was an understandable concern)
 I slowly, over several weeks and several different
 posts she made, convinced her that it's possible
 her family realizes something isn't quite right and
 would not consider it a burden to help her out.
 After their divorce I deleted that account, Nobodv
 will ever know that the random internet stranger
 who was weirdly persistent in encouraging my SIL
 to reach out to her family for help and leave her
 abusive marriage was actually me.
 Reply 12.0k
Wholesome Brother in Law

Wholesome Brother in Law

Reddit, Chips, and Rami Malek: Rami Malek always looks like he's trying to eat chips as quietly as possible.
Reddit, Chips, and Rami Malek: Rami Malek always looks like he's trying to eat chips as quietly as possible.

Rami Malek always looks like he's trying to eat chips as quietly as possible.