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Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist -Follow Economist TheEconomist Why aren't millennials buying diamonds? econ.st/294G6yf leoismybookcrush: highklaushargreeves: my-analogical-romance: magicallygrimmwiccan: jackdrawsgames: luidilovins: phruxx: stynalane: dxisybuchanan: everythingcanadian: ariaste: wildhaunt: everkings: kid-communism: combatbooty: 1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us 3) mostly mined with slave labor 4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years 5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated.  Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN.  Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring.  THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD.  engagement rings: HACKED Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. thanks edith Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. SO PRETTY @theotheralya Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day
Ass, Bitch, and Bruh: The Economist
 -Follow
 Economist
 TheEconomist
 Why aren't millennials buying diamonds?
 econ.st/294G6yf
leoismybookcrush:
highklaushargreeves:

my-analogical-romance:


magicallygrimmwiccan:

jackdrawsgames:

luidilovins:

phruxx:

stynalane:

dxisybuchanan:

everythingcanadian:

ariaste:

wildhaunt:

everkings:

kid-communism:

combatbooty:

1) they expensive bruh 2) none of us kno the dif btwn a fucking diamond and some fancy ass glass ur capitalist rock hierarchy has no control over us

3) mostly mined with slave labor

4) we get excited when our date buys us an appetizer, we don’t even comprehend people buying us rocks that would force us into debt for ten years

5) They aren’t actually that rare and the price is artificially inflated. 

Pro tip from a former Jared’s salesperson: You want a sparkly white rock that will look like a diamond to the untrained eye and will literally cost the price of a nice dinner for two? Created white sapphire. They’re lab grown and cost *pennies* to make, so you can get a 1 or 2 carat white sapphire for like… $30-80 probably. You can get one as huge as you like, perfectly clear, perfectly flawless. And no one will ever be able to tell the difference except a professional appraiser. Also, sapphires are the second-hardest gemstone (right after diamonds) so they are very durable! Very unlikely that they’ll chip or crack. Get that bitch set in sterling silver and you are GOOD TO GO. Whole thing should cost you less than $200 unless you get a fancy band with a lot of extra stones. Of course, created sapphires come in every color of the rainbow, so if you want something more exciting than plain white, you TOTALLY CAN. 
Created sapphires and silver: The poor Millennial’s engagement ring. 

THANK YOU EX-JARED’S BASED GOD. 

engagement rings: HACKED


Get a ring from an antique store. They’re usually less than $100, you know they hold up over time, no one else will have one like it, and it comes with the bonus of being haunted by the spirit of some old woman named Edith probably. 

thanks edith


Tiger’s eye: $47 bucks on etsy. Propose to your elderich horror with a ring she deserves. 
Rose quarts rose ring? 43 bucks. Symbol of love. Looks like a ring pop. Win-win. 
Druzy quartz 40 bucks. Cant pick a color? Go with all of them. Neat texture. 
Snowflake obsidian? 20 bucks. Made from the fires of the Earth’s molten core. Pretty dope conversation starter. 
Jade 15-30 bucks. Literally has a history of inner peace and spiritual awakening. Good gentle reminder not to kill your spouse. 

SO PRETTY

@theotheralya


Could give me a rock u found on the floor and thought I’d like and I would genuinely be ecstatic 


The ring I got Cas. Oak and a teeny tiny fern leaf. 

My dad proposed to my mom with a Ring Pop on April Fool’s Day

leoismybookcrush: highklaushargreeves: my-analogical-romance: magicallygrimmwiccan: jackdrawsgames: luidilovins: phruxx: stynalane: ...

Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today jesus you are rough on pants 331 A get angry with them that have to wear them. 700 AM holy hell, there are better ways to deal with that than to mas- sacre them. Most of us just, stay with me here... Take them off poor things did nothing to you. 740 AM The First step is admitting vou have a problem though. so it sounds like you've accepted your role in this and are ready for the next step. 744 AM Absolutely ready for the next step. Just not sure what that is lol 749 AM we've got to get you out of them and to an environment where you can't hurt them anymore. we in the industry call this place, 'South, I've been there, and you wouldn't believe it. there is not a single pant in sight. the good news is Im an expert at finding this mysterious place. I can guide you out of those pants and in to something far less appropriate 756 AM Sounds like an excellent next step 804 AM I think we need to rehearse before we take any drastic steps I'm going to need to see what I'm getting myself into. 811 AM Rehearsal is a must 812 AM Rehearsals start Monday Anytime that works for you. I do make house calls, but it's going to cost you extra 816 AM Oh darn. Not sure I can afford extra and leave a nice tip В19 АМ Don't worry about the tip, we can work something out а21 AN Oh perfect! 822 AM for my records I'm going to need you to fill out these forms. Full name: Proffered Contact: requested Appointment time Location 824 AM reason for visit 824 AM 9:45pm .I've been naughty.. 8:25 AM ille Oh forgot one. 826 AM Ok I've got you booked in for Monday I will be out of the office this weekend but just in case things get bad and you need to talk, ill keep my phone on me. looking forvward to touching bases with you and getting you out of those pants. 834 A Sounds great. Thanks so much for all the help and support 8:35 AM +pes meesnge She had 5 photos with ripped jeans
Bad, Jesus, and Lol: Today
 jesus you are rough on pants
 331 A
 get angry with them that
 have to wear them.
 700 AM
 holy hell, there are better ways
 to deal with that than to mas-
 sacre them. Most of us just, stay
 with me here... Take them off
 poor things did nothing to you.
 740 AM
 The First step is admitting vou
 have a problem though. so it
 sounds like you've accepted your
 role in this and are ready for the
 next step.
 744 AM
 Absolutely ready for the
 next step. Just not sure
 what that is lol
 749 AM
 we've got to get you out of them
 and to an environment where
 you can't hurt them anymore.
 we in the industry call this place,
 'South, I've been there, and you
 wouldn't believe it. there is not
 a single pant in sight. the good
 news is Im an expert at finding
 this mysterious place. I can guide
 you out of those pants and in to
 something far less appropriate
 756 AM
 Sounds like an excellent
 next step
 804 AM
 I think we need to rehearse
 before we take any drastic steps
 I'm going to need to see what I'm
 getting myself into.
 811 AM
 Rehearsal is a must
 812 AM
 Rehearsals start Monday Anytime
 that works for you. I do make
 house calls, but it's going to cost
 you extra
 816 AM
 Oh darn. Not sure I can
 afford extra and leave a
 nice tip
 В19 АМ
 Don't worry about the tip, we can
 work something out
 а21 AN
 Oh perfect!
 822 AM
 for my records I'm going to need
 you to fill out these forms.
 Full name:
 Proffered Contact:
 requested Appointment
 time
 Location
 824 AM
 reason for visit
 824 AM
 9:45pm
 .I've been naughty..
 8:25 AM
 ille
 Oh forgot one.
 826 AM
 Ok I've got you booked in for
 Monday I will be out of the office
 this weekend but just in case
 things get bad and you need
 to talk, ill keep my phone on
 me. looking forvward to touching
 bases with you and getting you
 out of those pants.
 834 A
 Sounds great. Thanks so
 much for all the help and
 support
 8:35 AM
 +pes meesnge
She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

She had 5 photos with ripped jeans

Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8"); This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code. I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I bet they have mismatches somewhere Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice: * 4 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment. Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world and hope it will be enough Farewell * error_reporting (E ALL); ini set("display_errors", true) print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?> Don’t read the source, Luke!
Advice, Django, and Facebook: <?php header("Content-type: text/html; charset-utf-8");
 This is a warning to any poor soul who may have to deal with this code.
 I took over this criminal piece of chaos from a monkey named Joel who I
 assume had been given a typewriter by Mephistopheles himself. For reasons
 I have yet been unable to fathom, he decided to patch together this thing
 using a BaseX setup hardwired into an unfixably broken Manjaro VM, queried
 by a handwritten plate of uncommented PHP spaghetti fit to feed an army
 of people with a serious death wish, without any framework or CMS
 The very long BaseX script, very long PHP presenter and very long XSLT
 stylesheet mostly perform the same heuristic document structuring for
 different components and are supposed to produce compatible results, but I
 bet they have mismatches somewhere
 Since Prof. T just wanted a few small functional enhancements, I decided
 to just patch it and keep the general setup. Unless you were hired to
 correct some spelling mistakes, DO NOT FOLLOW IN MY STEPS. Putting up with
 this simulation of how a goldfish would design a system has literally
 given me CLINICAL DEPRESSION. This is not an exaggeration, I am writing
 this after a prolonged medical therapy mostly successful, thanks for
 asking, but not fun. I wouldn't wish this code on anybody who isn't a
 manager at Oracle or Facebook, and therefore give you this sincere advice:
 *
 4
 Nuke this. Take the XSLT if you must, and then nuke the app and recreate it
 in Django or whatever works for you. I would do it myself, but I risked a
 relapse simply by opening this fíle again to write this comment.
 Dear brother or sister, I wish you all the luck and strength in the world
 and hope it will be enough
 Farewell
 *
 error_reporting (E ALL);
 ini set("display_errors", true)
 print'<?xml version= "1.0" encodina="UTF-8" ?>' "An") : ?>
Don’t read the source, Luke!

Don’t read the source, Luke!

America, God, and Head: penfairy Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" " don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful! "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all banned from using du until I can trust you Cdeflare God help Japanese teachers in Australia. languageoclock if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is derinthemadscientist Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me. Australians could not be trusted with a language with ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself and if you weren't using the most informal version possible within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to mean you hated them. hollowedskin 100% true. the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a fistfight Source: penfairy Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI
America, God, and Head: penfairy
 Throwback to the time my poor German teacher had to
 explain the concept of formal and informal pronouns to a
 class full of Australians and everyone was scandalised and
 loudly complained "why can't I treat everyone the same?" "
 don't want to be a Sie!" "but being friendly is respectful!
 "wouldn't using du' just show I like them?" until one guy
 conceded "I suppose maybe l'd use Sie with someone like the
 prime minister, if he weren't such a cunt" and my teacher
 ended up with her head in her hands saying "you are all
 banned from using du until I can trust you
 Cdeflare
 God help Japanese teachers in Australia.
 languageoclock
 if this isnt an accurate representation of australia idk what is
 derinthemadscientist
 Australia's reverse-formality respect culture is fascinating. We
 don't even really think about it until we try to communicate or
 learn about another culture and the rules that are pretty
 standard for most of the world just feel so wrong. I went to
 America this one time and I kept automatically thinking that
 strangers using 'sir' and 'ma'am' were sassing me.
 Australians could not be trusted with a language with
 ingrained tiers of formal address. The most formal forms
 would immediately become synonyms for 'go fuck yourself
 and if you weren't using the most informal version possible
 within three sentences of meeting someone they'd take it to
 mean you hated them.
 hollowedskin
 100% true.
 the difference between "scuse me" and "excuse me" is a
 fistfight
 Source: penfairy
 Stay awake at FUNSubstance.com
AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI

AUSSIE AUSSIE AUSSIE OUI OUI OUI

Omg, Too Much, and Tumblr: symbrock: moonlandingwasfaked: dizorder: kitty: poor baby drank too much milk :( lost in the sauce HE’S SO ROUNDE omg 
Omg, Too Much, and Tumblr: symbrock:
moonlandingwasfaked:

dizorder:

kitty:
poor baby drank too much milk :(


lost in the sauce 


HE’S SO ROUNDE 

omg 

symbrock: moonlandingwasfaked: dizorder: kitty: poor baby drank too much milk :( lost in the sauce HE’S SO ROUNDE omg