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Another One, Bad, and Barbie: er er KINDER SURPRISE 2OG KINGER SURPRISE T-1 1.17 KS GIRLS 20G KINDER SURPRISE GIRL 1.17 thoughts-of-an-x-factor: ohgressfuriosa: castiel-knight-of-hell: jen-kollic: thejollity: jen-kollic: hobopoppins: manaphy: wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS. I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs. So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.” I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry. And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs. This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it. Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers. I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.” Confetti. The fucking confetti. It barely covered 5% of the image. Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.” I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.” This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids. So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well… in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer. Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society Fuck everything. My father was one of these parents (along with several other harmful issues!), and even though I know, for an absolute fact, that his world views and ways are entirely wrong, this shit he tried to ingrain into me still effects me to this day.Parents, don’t ruin your fucking kids by treating them like this.
Another One, Bad, and Barbie: er
 er
 KINDER SURPRISE
 2OG KINGER SURPRISE T-1
 1.17
 KS GIRLS
 20G KINDER SURPRISE GIRL
 1.17
thoughts-of-an-x-factor:

ohgressfuriosa:

castiel-knight-of-hell:

jen-kollic:

thejollity:

jen-kollic:

hobopoppins:

manaphy:
wow I didn’t know fuckin chocolate eggs were gendered
OKAY LET ME TELL YOU A STORY ABOUT THE FUCKING PINK EGGS.
I work at a concession stand in an ice rink. We sell a bunch of chocolate bars and snacks and shit including Kinder Surprise eggs.
So one day this woman comes up to the counter with her two little kids, a girl who’s probably about 6 or 7 and a little boy, maybe 3 or 4. The mom asks what they want, the little girl points at the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if she wanted the white or the pink egg. She said pink. The little boy pointed to the Kinder eggs and says “One of those!”. I asked if he wanted the white or the pink egg. He said pink. HOLY SHIT IT WAS LIKE I OPENED THE GATES OF HELL. The mom absolutely FLIPPED and was like “YOU ARE NOT GETTING THE PINK EGG IT’S ONLY FOR GIRLS. YOU CAN GET THE WHITE ONE OR NOTHING AT ALL”. The little boy looked at his mom and said “But I want the same as ______ (whatever the sister’s name was)”. The mom completely ignored him and turned to me and gave me a death glare. “He can have the white egg.”
I had to give a little boy a white egg when he wanted the pink so that he could be the same as his big sister and he started crying. The mom just reiterated that the pink egg was for girls and told him that boys don’t cry.
And this is why we shouldn’t gender fucking chocolate eggs.

This is actually a relatively new thing, originally Kinder Eggs were all white like the ones on the left. I don’t know at what point they decided to make ‘girl’s’ Kinder Eggs, but I do not like it.

Holy shit do not even get me started on how moms constantly police their sons’ masculinity. I’ve seen mothers do it WAY more often than fathers.
I used to work at a bakery that specialized in creating custom cakes. We had this feature where we could print out any image off the computer and put it on a cake (with rice paper). One day this lady comes in and asks for an image we had of the baby Sesame Street characters. They’re all together with cake and confetti, and she asks, “Oh, well since it’s a boy, can you please change all of the little pink confettis into blue confetti? I mean, he’s a boy, you know.”
Confetti.
The fucking confetti.
It barely covered 5% of the image.
Another instance was when a lady asked me for an image of four superheroes to put on her son’s cake because her son was turning four. She admitted to not knowing any superheroes, so I offered the most obvious choice—The Fantastic Four. I pulled up a picture of them and she goes, “Oh no no, we can’t have that. Let’s do another one.” Confused, I pulled up a Justice League one with Batman, Superman, The Flash, and Wonder Woman. Again, she said no. I asked her if she needed anything specific (she didn’t know superheroes, why was she so picky?), and she just said, “Oh, it’s just that he’s a boy, you know? We can’t have a girl superhero on his cake.”
I nearly lost my shit. I did temporarily lose my customer service face and ask why, women have been superheroes all the time, Wonder Woman is iconic, etc etc and she was like, “It’s just that my son has been playing with Barbie dolls lately and I really don’t want him to end up… well, you know.”
This shit has got to stop. When you teach boys that certain things are only for girls, you’re limiting them and you’re teaching them that girls or “girly things” are bad. If you want gender equality as an adult, you better make DAMN sure that you’re teaching the same thing to your kids.

So this woman did not want her son to turn out ‘you know’ and her plan for that was to get him a cake with spandex-clad manly men AND ONLY MEN on it? I don’t think she thought that one through too well…

in sociology class we were talking about gender being assigned to objects and one of the male students started saying how forward thinking he is because he buys his daughter sports equipment and “boy toys”. I asked if he’d do the same if he had a son and he said “Of course I’d buy my son sports equipment”. I clarified “No, would you buy him dolls and other toys that are thought of as being for girls”. He turned around and didn’t answer.
Parents will pat themselves on the back for letting their little girls play baseball but a little boy with a Barbie is still considered an affront to society


Fuck everything.

My father was one of these parents (along with several other harmful issues!), and even though I know, for an absolute fact, that his world views and ways are entirely wrong, this shit he tried to ingrain into me still effects me to this day.Parents, don’t ruin your fucking kids by treating them like this.

thoughts-of-an-x-factor: ohgressfuriosa: castiel-knight-of-hell: jen-kollic: thejollity: jen-kollic: hobopoppins: manaphy: wow I didn...

Beautiful, Cars, and Friday: When gunman advanced on New Zealand mosque, this man ran at him Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths The Associated Press Posted: Mar 16, 2019 6:54 AM ET Last Updated: an hour ago Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch. (Vincent Thian/Associated Press) solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first thing he could find, a credit card machine, and ran outside screaming “Come here!” Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch after leading the gunman in a cat-and-mouse chase before scaring him into speeding away in his car. But Aziz, whose four sons and dozens of others remained in the mosque while he faced off with the gunman, said he thinks it’s what anyone would have done. The gunman killed 49 people after attacking two mosques in the deadliest mass shooting in New Zealand’s modern history. […] He said he could hear his two youngest sons, aged 11 and 5, urging him to come back inside. The gunman returned, firing. Aziz said he ran, weaving through cars parked in the driveway, which prevented the gunman from getting a clean shot. Then Aziz spotted a gun the gunman had abandoned and picked it up, pointed it and squeezed the trigger. It was empty. He said the gunman ran back to the car for a second time, likely to grab yet another weapon. “He gets into his car and I just got the gun and threw it on his window like an arrow and blasted his window,” he said. The windshield shattered: “That’s why he got scared.” He said the gunman was cursing at him, yelling that he was going to kill them all. But he drove away and Aziz said he chased the car down the street to a red light, before it made a U-turn and sped away. Online videos indicate police officers managed to force the car from the road and drag out the suspect soon after. Originally from Kabul, Afghanistan, Aziz said he left as a refugee when he was a boy and lived for more than 25 years in Australia before moving to New Zealand a couple of years ago.“I’ve been to a lot of countries and this is one of the beautiful ones,” he said. And, he always thought, a peaceful one as well. Aziz said he didn’t feel fear or much of anything when facing the gunman. It was like he was on autopilot. And he believes that Allah didn’t think it was his time to die.
Beautiful, Cars, and Friday: When gunman advanced on New Zealand
 mosque, this man ran at him
 Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths
 The Associated Press Posted: Mar 16, 2019 6:54 AM ET Last Updated: an hour ago
 Abdul Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood
 mosque in Christchurch. (Vincent Thian/Associated Press)
solacekames:
When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first thing he could find, a credit card machine, and ran outside screaming “Come here!”
Aziz, 48, is being hailed as a hero for preventing more deaths during Friday prayers at the Linwood mosque in Christchurch after leading the gunman in a cat-and-mouse chase before scaring him into speeding away in his car.
But Aziz, whose four sons and dozens of others remained in the mosque while he faced off with the gunman, said he thinks it’s what anyone would have done.
The gunman killed 49 people after attacking two mosques in the deadliest mass shooting in New Zealand’s modern history.
[…]
He said he could hear his two youngest sons, aged 11 and 5, urging him to come back inside.
The gunman returned, firing. Aziz said he ran, weaving through cars parked in the driveway, which prevented the gunman from getting a clean shot. Then Aziz spotted a gun the gunman had abandoned and picked it up, pointed it and squeezed the trigger. It was empty.
He said the gunman ran back to the car for a second time, likely to grab yet another weapon.
“He gets into his car and I just got the gun and threw it on his window like an arrow and blasted his window,” he said.
The windshield shattered: “That’s why he got scared.”
He said the gunman was cursing at him, yelling that he was going to kill them all. But he drove away and Aziz said he chased the car down the street to a red light, before it made a U-turn and sped away. Online videos indicate police officers managed to force the car from the road and drag out the suspect soon after.
Originally from Kabul, Afghanistan, Aziz said he left as a refugee when he was a boy and lived for more than 25 years in Australia before moving to New Zealand a couple of years ago.“I’ve been to a lot of countries and this is one of the beautiful ones,” he said. And, he always thought, a peaceful one as well.
Aziz said he didn’t feel fear or much of anything when facing the gunman. It was like he was on autopilot. And he believes that Allah didn’t think it was his time to die.

solacekames: When the gunman advanced toward the mosque, killing those in his path, Abdul Aziz didn’t hide. Instead, he picked up the first ...

Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme FAILED iMes To Secome Sw cCessf e@cEoCHARLTE gce FATLED FAILED 2002fashion n Hots & erey) 2003erchol Online Serth Engine) Spit%Gome Con (xop Hop music Site FAILED 2605-2007 2007-2 YFTLED 007-20os SYG management (Arist Menagement coy) %- Now Travs Porter Street ket cess 2olo-Now Multi atium Record ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an over night success... I wanted to use this as motivation for everyone who has been trying and has those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going! Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of the way hurt... Each time I had to move on... Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just about everything in my life to chase an opportunity Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face. That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I signed a girl group and got them a record deal with Interscope records.... thought at that point my life was about to change! About 5 months later they let me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter" this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first success in business! After years of passing out Cds with my own 2 hands with my business partners... We have gone on to sell millions and millions in music with our company street execs with Travis Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time... Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger! Share this with a friend gucci-flipflops: Motivation
Advice, College, and Fresh: How many Tme
 FAILED
 iMes
 To Secome Sw cCessf
 e@cEoCHARLTE
 gce FATLED
 FAILED
 2002fashion n
 Hots & erey)
 2003erchol
 Online Serth Engine)
 Spit%Gome Con
 (xop Hop music Site
 FAILED
 2605-2007
 2007-2 YFTLED
 007-20os SYG management
 (Arist Menagement coy)
 %- Now Travs Porter Street ket
 cess
 2olo-Now
 Multi atium Record

 ceocharlie It took me 7 years of failure to become an
 over night success... I wanted to use this as
 motivation for everyone who has been trying and has
 those thoughts of quitting... You have to keep going!
 Each failure set me up for my next step. Every step of
 the way hurt... Each time I had to move on...
 Especially in 2007 when I dropped out of college to
 become a camera man for soulja boy. I dropped just
 about everything in my life to chase an opportunity
 Just 4-5 months later I got fired... Fell flat on my face.
 That is when I wanted to go into artist management. I
 signed a girl group and got them a record deal with
 Interscope records.... thought at that point my life
 was about to change! About 5 months later they let
 me go as their manager for "Ciara's" manager back
 then. I just couldn't get anywhere... Kept falling flat on
 my face....But I picked myself back up.. Pulled
 myself out of my depression and met "Travis Porter"
 this same week 8 years ago. I finally got my first
 success in business! After years of passing out Cds
 with my own 2 hands with my business partners...
 We have gone on to sell millions and millions in
 music with our company street execs with Travis
 Porter, 2 Chainz, bankroll fresh, young Dolph and
 many others.... We've been nominated for Grammys

 and have had 8 world tours. It simply takes time...
 Use my story as your motivation... My advice to you
 is... Make mistakes faster... And get up stronger!
 Share this with a friend
gucci-flipflops:

Motivation

gucci-flipflops: Motivation

Aaron Eckhart , Avengers Age of Ultron, and Birdman: EMMA STONE 54 Sean Penn, 54 Colin Firth, 53 EMMA STONE'S AGE Edward Norton, 45 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Joaquin Phoenix, 40 Bradley Cooper, 40 an Gosling 30 Andrew Garfield, 28 Penn Badgley, 23 Chris Lowell 26 Irrational Birdman, Man Jesse Eisenberg, 25 Gangster 26 26 Squad, 2!5 Jonah Hil 23 24 The Help, 23 Easy A, 21 Aloha, 26 Superbad 18 The Amazing Spider-Man Zombieland 20 Crazy, Stupid, Love Magic in the Moonlight 16 2007 2008 2009 2010 201 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR ULTURE SCARLETT JOHANSSON 54 Bill Murray 52 SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AGE Mark Ruffalo, 47 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Jon Favreau, 47 Billy Bob Thornton, 46 Aaron Eckhart, 38 Matt Damon, 41 Javier Bardem, 39 Hugh Jackman, 37 Joaquin Phoenix, 39 Joseph Gordon- 32 Ewan McGregor, 34 Bradley Cooper 34 Her 29 Jonatharn Rhys Meyers, 28 Chris Evans, 26 We Bought a Zoo, 27 Chef. Don Jon, 29 28 Lost in Translation, 18 The Nanny 24 Match Diaries, 23 Point 22 He's Just Not Vicky That Into You The 21 21 Island, 20 Cristina 21 Bcelona Avengers: Age of Ultron 30 The Man Who Wasn'tv There 16 The Black Scoop Dahlia 16 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 YEAR ULTURE JENNIFER LAWRENCE 54 JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S AGE LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Christian Bale, 39 Bradley Cooper 40 Bradley Cooper 37 Edgar Ramirez, 38 Michael Fassbender 34 Liam msworth 23 Max Thieriot, 23 Silver Linings Hunger Playbook American Hustle, 23 Serena, 24 The Anton Yelchin, Games, Joy 25 21 23 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Like X-Men: Crazy First Class, 21 Josh the End of Hutcherson, the Street 20 19 16 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR VULTURE ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. this is so gross I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead. It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37. Damn
Aaron Eckhart , Avengers Age of Ultron, and Birdman: EMMA STONE
 54
 Sean Penn, 54
 Colin Firth, 53
 EMMA STONE'S AGE
 Edward
 Norton,
 45
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Joaquin
 Phoenix,
 40
 Bradley
 Cooper, 40
 an
 Gosling
 30
 Andrew
 Garfield,
 28
 Penn
 Badgley,
 23
 Chris
 Lowell
 26
 Irrational
 Birdman, Man
 Jesse
 Eisenberg,
 25
 Gangster
 26
 26
 Squad, 2!5
 Jonah Hil
 23
 24
 The Help, 23
 Easy A, 21
 Aloha, 26
 Superbad
 18
 The
 Amazing
 Spider-Man
 Zombieland
 20
 Crazy,
 Stupid, Love
 Magic in the
 Moonlight
 16
 2007 2008 2009 2010 201 2012 2013 2014 2015
 YEAR
 ULTURE

 SCARLETT JOHANSSON
 54
 Bill Murray
 52
 SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AGE
 Mark
 Ruffalo,
 47
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Jon Favreau, 47
 Billy Bob
 Thornton,
 46
 Aaron Eckhart,
 38
 Matt Damon,
 41
 Javier
 Bardem,
 39
 Hugh
 Jackman,
 37
 Joaquin
 Phoenix,
 39
 Joseph
 Gordon-
 32
 Ewan McGregor, 34
 Bradley
 Cooper
 34
 Her
 29
 Jonatharn
 Rhys Meyers, 28
 Chris
 Evans,
 26
 We Bought
 a Zoo,
 27
 Chef.
 Don Jon, 29
 28
 Lost in
 Translation,
 18
 The Nanny 24
 Match Diaries, 23
 Point 22
 He's Just Not
 Vicky That Into You
 The 21 21
 Island, 20
 Cristina
 21 Bcelona
 Avengers:
 Age of Ultron
 30
 The Man
 Who Wasn'tv
 There
 16
 The Black
 Scoop Dahlia
 16
 2001
 2003
 2005
 2007
 2009
 2011
 2013
 2015
 YEAR
 ULTURE

 JENNIFER LAWRENCE
 54
 JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S AGE
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Christian Bale,
 39
 Bradley Cooper
 40
 Bradley Cooper
 37
 Edgar Ramirez, 38
 Michael
 Fassbender
 34
 Liam
 msworth
 23
 Max
 Thieriot,
 23
 Silver
 Linings
 Hunger Playbook
 American
 Hustle,
 23
 Serena,
 24
 The
 Anton Yelchin, Games,
 Joy
 25
 21
 23
 The Hunger Games:
 Catching Fire
 Like
 X-Men: Crazy
 First Class, 21
 Josh the End of
 Hutcherson, the Street
 20
 19
 16
 2011
 2012
 2013
 2014
 2015
 YEAR
 VULTURE
ambermusicbox:

overherewiththequeers:

overherewiththequeers:

castielcampbell:

jaydenthorne:

No. Hollywood has an older man problem.

this is so gross

I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead.

It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37.


Damn

ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. th...

Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE I SAlV I'M ITALIAN, EVERYONE KEEP4 TEA IN ME AND AGKING IF I'M IN THE MAFIA NEXT TIME TELL THEM THEN THEY WILL FEAK YOU. 2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world.  Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen.  I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia. So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck.  And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc. Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes.  He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went.  “Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away. I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work.  When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face.  These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos.  I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle.  For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia.  I never told them I wasn’t, either.
Best Friend, Confused, and Dad: MAMMA, EVER SINCE
 I SAlV I'M ITALIAN,
 EVERYONE KEEP4
 TEA IN ME AND
 AGKING IF I'M IN THE
 MAFIA

 NEXT TIME
 TELL THEM

 THEN THEY
 WILL FEAK
 YOU.
2srooky:

giancarlovolpe:

Based on a true story.

this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family. 
I’m half German, and my father’s side of the family is full blooded German. My father owns a business that deals with a lot of international calls, and during my early tween years he got a lot of business calls at all hours of the day and night from all over the world. 
Now, when i first met my best friends, I had them sleeping over at my house, and we were watching TV. Every few minutes the phone would ring, and our caller ID would project at the top of the television screen. 
I was bullied a lot as a kid, so my dad told me to tell people if they asked what my father did, that he was in the German Mafia.
So, naturally when my friends asked who was calling, I made the joke it was business cause my dad was in the German Mafia, and the joke stuck. 
And it spread, too. Middle school was filled with jokes about my family and the mafia, but they were just jokes. That I was in the mafia, my dad was a mafia boss, etc. etc.
Those jokes continued into high school, where, in my junior year I was in a big depressive spell. I wore my hair tied back from my face a lot, and in my history class, these jokes were cracked a little more often as we began our European Studies. One day, my History teacher, the most amazing teacher I had in high school, walked between me and my best friend, as our desks were right next to each other, while we had been making one of these jokes. 
He paused, and reached out, tapping my right temple twice while a huge, cheeky grin spread on his face and he just went. 
“Good to see you finished your induction.” and walked away.
I was confused, my best friend and I were staring at each other for a solid ten minutes before we got back to work. 
When I went home that night, I looked up a bunch of stuff about the German Mafia. The German Mafia would often do a tattoo of 3 dots on someone once they had finished their “trials” and were accepted. This was most often done in cases of murder, and other crimes. Where the tattoos were placed meant different things. Hands were the norm, but sometimes a tattoo would be placed on the face. 
These tattoos are now mostly outdated, and are usually just prison tattoos done for years/crimes committed in prison, but some branches of Russian, Cuban, and German mafias still use the three dot tattoos. 
I was flabbergasted for two reasons. One, that my teacher knew all of this about the German mafia, and, Two, that he pointed out the three freckles on my temple that make a perfect triangle. 
For the rest of my Junior and Senior year, the mafia jokes dwindled less and less, because people actually believed I was in the mafia. 
I never told them I wasn’t, either.

2srooky: giancarlovolpe: Based on a true story. this reminds me of a story that’s kind of an ongoing joke in my family.  I’m half German,...

Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take the breadsticks Young Man and run Man young [door man hand hook said car gun deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: buggykin: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: biggest-goofiest-fish: desertdaylight: kait-the-kitty: chiribomb: politicalcompassmemes: your-uncle-dave: maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit: japhers: jewishzevran: animatedamerican: pagesofkenna: mommacomms: fidefortitude: bl00dlikeice: elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey: plaid-n-converse: memeception WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME @caesarianconfection I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it. But this… This is something else. The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind. For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun? ….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1) this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2) “man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3) ‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4) and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5) which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6) (but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better) I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared. average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics I was getting a political compass vibe too tag urself im man door hand hook car gun This works better than I thought it would. This was in my senior project I’m not sorry. EIGHT MEME COMBO FATALITY We have officially created a new language  I just had to do it to em THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING M E M E T E N OwO? W o w You know I had to I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it THIRTEEN!? MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??
Bad, Beautiful, and Fucking: Take
 the
 breadsticks
 Young
 Man
 and
 run
 Man
 young [door
 man hand
 hook
 said
 car
 gun
deceit-the-snakey-snake:
plaid-n-converse:

cherrysconeslut:


pawsofponies:


garecc:

inthishousewekinkshamefnaf:


inthishousewekinkshamefnaf:

buggykin:

inthishousewekinkshamefnaf:


inthishousewekinkshamefnaf:

biggest-goofiest-fish:

desertdaylight:


kait-the-kitty:

chiribomb:

politicalcompassmemes:

your-uncle-dave:

maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit:

japhers:

jewishzevran:

animatedamerican:

pagesofkenna:

mommacomms:

fidefortitude:

bl00dlikeice:

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

plaid-n-converse:

memeception

WE’VE HIT TERMINAL MEME

@caesarianconfection

I’ve said “I hate this” so many times on this website, and never actually meant it, because “I hate this” is just shorthand for ‘this is an example of a meme given a twist I wasn’t expecting with intent to surprise’. Which is, in of itself, a meme on this site. God damn it.
But this… This is something else.
The rapidity of a meme’s introduction to its zenith to its decline is so rapid that in ten years, you’ll need a damn twenty-page manual to explain this. It’ll be as unfunny and hard to explain as jokes in Shakespeare plays, except even more inexplicable because fuck, at least Shakespeare’s jokes are usually about anal or fucking your mother, good wholesome sex jokes we can all get behind.
For the love of fuck, how do you explain loss.jpg? How do you explain gun?

….I THOUGHT THIS WAS A YMCA REFERENCE

it is a YMCA reference - that’s one of the 6 memes being represented here
ok let me see if i can break this down easily. YMCA is the easiest place to start - the song itself has become a meme over time with people changing the lyrics to reference other pop cultural events. so YMCA is meme one (1)
this first lyric replacement (”take the breadsticks and run”) is a reference to the tumblr meme ‘stuffing breadsticks into my purse’. i think everyone remembers that one so i wont bother to explain it. that’s meme two (2)
“man door hand hook car door” is a meme of its own, a creepypasta from i dont remember when. it was a terrible stupid retelling of the generic ‘stuck in a car while hook handed man tries to kill us’ story so the stupid title caught on for memorability. that in and of itself is meme three (3)
‘gun’ is… yeah i dont know how to explain gun. long story short you add gun to the end of a phrase instead of what you expect the last word to be. its shock funny. its everywhere but its popular to add to “man door hand hook car door” for.. some reason? gun is meme four (4)
and the thing is, this four meme combo is something thats gone around before. meme combos are, itself, a meme. which means taking this meme combo and mixing in another meme actually becomes meme five (5)
which leaves us at loss.jpg. loss.jpg was a terrible bad comic supposed to be about some tragic event, but it was presented so poorly literally no one takes it seriously, and for some reason recreating the four-panel setup has become popular. so thats meme six (6)
(but i need to add that this is the greatest version of loss.jpg i think i’ve ever seen. the initial ‘young man’ lines up with the guy bursting through the door, and the shock meme ‘gun’ matches the shock scene of the woman in the hospital and idk if OP even thought about that but it makes this just so much better)

I wasn’t going to reblog this, but @pagesofkenna‘s comprehensive meme-by-meme annotation is a thing of beauty and should be shared.

average tumblr post contains one meme, this post, which contains six, is an outlier and should not be counted

it might also just be a coincidence due to loss.jpg’s format but the whole white minimalist four-panel setup is also suspiciously reminiscent of those early 2000’s rage comics

I was getting a political compass vibe too

tag urself im man door hand hook car gun


This works better than I thought it would. 


This was in my senior project 

I’m not sorry.

EIGHT MEME COMBO


FATALITY

We have officially created a new language 

I just had to do it to em


THIS FUCKING THREAD I’M GONNA CRY
I LOST IT AND MAN DOOR HAND HOOK CAR GUN AND DIDN’T EXPECT MORE I’M SOBBING

M E M E T E N

OwO?




W o w


You know I had to 


I hope you know this is the most cursed addition to my post, and I love it


THIRTEEN!?


MEME COUNT:1 - YMCA (@plaid-n-converse, pointed out by @pagesofkenna)2 - breadsticks (see above)3 - man door hand hook car door (see above)4 - gun (see above)5 - meme combo (see above)6 - loss (see above)7 - 2000s comics vibes (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @japhers)8 - political compass (@plaid-n-converse, as pointed out by @maps-and-elvis-and-zelda-n-shit, then highlighted by @politicalcompassmemes)9 - tag yourself (user was @your-uncle-dave but now appears to be deactivated)10 - i hate this (kind of barely used by @fidefortitude so idk if it really counts)11 - nickelback/look at this photograph (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)12 - had to do it to them (see above)13 - distracted boyfriend (see above)14 - is this a pigeon (see above)15 - oh, this is beautiful (@garecc)16 - expanding brain (@cherrysconeslut)17 - cursed (can be argues as a meme due to its excessive use and popularity, as well as the sort of subtext/emotion behind it that accompanies most memes on this site) (@plaid-n-converse)18 - weve created a new language (@inthishousewekinkshamefnaf)19 - owo (see above)20 - most ___ addition to a post (@plaid-n-converse)21 - it could be argued that meme analysis in itself is a memeFeel free to debate any of these or add any Ive missed, but I think I got them all??

deceit-the-snakey-snake: plaid-n-converse: cherrysconeslut: pawsofponies: garecc: inthishousewekinkshamefnaf: inthishousewekinkshame...

Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to school and it was missing, so l just sat on the floor and read my book until the teacher came in and made them put it back. I realize now they were trying to trick me into go into the boys bathroom, but no one actually told me that's where my desk was, and it didn't occur to me to ask. Looking back I realize they had to make the effort to get to school early to move it, and I feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more biggest-gaudiest-patronuses In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse set in for show in tell. the ball went missing during class time and at the end of the day we all had to check our bookbags to look for it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to go home), but that evening I found it at the bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and never told anyone I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke put it there to frame me, and he was stil extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught. I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball feral-renaissance-cat I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten and made NO attempts to hide it because the people on TV were always telling each other when they liked each other. Didn't work as well as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy wanted to hang out with me ever after that), but that's not the point Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crushl And?" Dude turns around and yells to my crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!" My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I know. Everyone knows. Thanks." So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in front of everyone but it completely backfired because I lack the social filter necessary to feel ashamed of my base desires darkhumourandfandoms One time in like kindergerden some kid stole my shoe and instead if reacting I just went the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it He got bored of no reaction and just dropped the shoe but by then I was too committed and continued to walk around barefoot lycant-guy22 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of "fucks given" biggest-gaudiest-patronuses damn right we did Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
Bored, Confused, and Crush: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 In 5th grade some boys hid my desk in the
 boys bathroom. I was confused when I got to
 school and it was missing, so l just sat on the
 floor and read my book until the teacher came
 in and made them put it back.
 I realize now they were trying to trick me
 into go into the boys bathroom, but no one
 actually told me that's where my desk was,
 and it didn't occur to me to ask.
 Looking back I realize they had to make the
 effort to get to school early to move it, and I
 feel a tiny bit of regret for not reacting more
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 In 3rd grade Richard brought his new lacrosse
 set in for show in tell. the ball went missing
 during class time and at the end of the day
 we all had to check our bookbags to look for
 it. I only glanced in mine (I just wanted to
 go home), but that evening I found it at the
 bottom of my bag. I was so scared of being
 blamed, I threw it into the neighbor's yard and
 never told anyone
 I found out 2 years later that my bully Luke
 put it there to frame me, and he was stil
 extremely frustrated I hadn't gotten caught.
 I'm pretty sure Richard got a new ball
 feral-renaissance-cat
 I had a crush on a boy I met in Kindergarten
 and made NO attempts to hide it because the
 people on TV were always telling each other
 when they liked each other. Didn't work as well
 as I'd hope (i.e. didn't work AT ALL and no boy
 wanted to hang out with me ever after that),
 but that's not the point
 Skip ahead to third grade. We had a new kid
 who was kind of a jerk. One day he asks me
 if I have a crush and I'm like, "Yeah, [Crushl
 And?" Dude turns around and yells to my
 crush "Hey! She has a crush on you!"
 My crush just kinda sighs and is like, "Yeah. I
 know. Everyone knows. Thanks."
 So this guy was hoping to embarrass me in
 front of everyone but it completely backfired
 because I lack the social filter necessary to
 feel
 ashamed of my base desires
 darkhumourandfandoms
 One time in like kindergerden some kid stole
 my shoe and instead if reacting I just went
 the whole day barefoot. No one questioned it
 He got bored of no reaction and just dropped
 the shoe but by then I was too committed and
 continued to walk around barefoot
 lycant-guy22
 Some of yall grew up with a low base stat of
 "fucks given"
 biggest-gaudiest-patronuses
 damn right we did
 Source: biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

Crying, Douchebag, and Fucking: geardrops: knitmeapony: demonhamster: despotic: suicidemydarling: gigantorthemooseking: I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again. Metal men are gentlemenly as shit. This fucking this^^^  I’ve always loved this. I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air. Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped. This holds true for so many shows I’ve been to. When there’s a douchebag, there’s usually just one or two, and the crowd handles it.
Crying, Douchebag, and Fucking: geardrops:

knitmeapony:

demonhamster:

despotic:

suicidemydarling:

gigantorthemooseking:

I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’t remember the band, she dragged me along) when I was 16. They were starting a wall of death and this guy who was flirting with me decides it would be funny to pull my top down, exposing my breasts, then throw me in the middle of this wall of death right as it’s about to meet. When I stumble in the middle and hit the wall someone screamed “STOP! EXPOSED GIRL!” and I thought they were all going to oggle at me. Instead, one guy quickly helped me cover up, three more helped me to my feet, and another asked who did that. When I pointed out the guy, two of them looked at him, me, each other, then nodded and punched the guy in the face before forcing him into the wall that was about to form again.
Metal men are gentlemenly as shit.

This fucking this^^^ 

I’ve always loved this.

I went to my first concert a few months ago and there were these really tall men with black vest tops and tattoos and piercings surrounding us screaming loudly when the music started playing, but then we realised this kid in the crowd had lost his mum so they tried to comfort him and when he started crying they asked him his name and he shakily sobbed “Eliot” at which point they lifted him in the air onto the shoulder’s and shouted at the top of their lungs “ELIOT’S MUM, ELIOT IS LOOKING FOR YOU. EXCUSE ME HAS ANYONE SEEN ELIOT’S MUM!!!” at which point Eliot started giggling between sobs until he finally found his mum while in the air.

Seriously, I have felt safer in groups of death metal dudes than in the group of the preppiest preps that ever prepped.

This holds true for so many shows I’ve been to. When there’s a douchebag, there’s usually just one or two, and the crowd handles it.

geardrops: knitmeapony: demonhamster: despotic: suicidemydarling: gigantorthemooseking: I once went to a concert with a friend (I don’...

Being Alone, Chill, and Chris Evans: potofsoup: rainnecassidy: cynics-and-romantics: chris-evans-and-his-pizza: shanology: verysharpteeth: I have to comment on the fact that when it comes to the serum, Bucky is souped UP on that stuff. Steve probably tones back how much he’s hitting normal humans, but GOOD LANDS. Bucky’s not just knocking someone down, he’s getting them air borne. With a kick. We know the cyborg arm is really strong, but BUCKY is insanely strong. Reminds me of the comic where he throws an arrow through someone’s face with his good arm, not even the cyborg one. Bucky is scary ramped up in the strength department. This is why when people talk about Bucky having received an “inferior” version of the serum, I kind of raise my eyebrows. The overall effects of Zola’s serum might have differed from Erskine’s, but it certainly doesn’t seem to have left Bucky physically weaker. There are a lot of fics that assume Bucky would not be a match for Steve if Steve were actually willing to fight him, but Bucky more than proves his strength in Winter Soldier. This should also make people realize that he isn’t some lost puppy. He can take care of hisself, even if he doesn’t have memories. He got the Smithsonian by himself right? He got those clothes himself right? He can take care of himself. He was manipulated to be a predator. He is strong enough, swift enough to take down prey. He is intuitive enough to find who or what he wants. Even before The Soldier, Bucky was smart as a whip and could hold his own in a fight. But now? Now he is the perfect weapon, whether or not he wishes to be. He adapts, he fights, he wins. You know what else bugs me? When people act in fics like he’s just going to snap and kill everyone around him.  Bucky is not a violent person.  I don’t think the Winter Soldier is a violent person either.  He killed because he was ordered to, but if he wasn’t ordered to?  TBH I think the Winter Soldier would probably be pretty chill and quiet.  Like, you wouldn’t want to startle him or whatever, because yeah, scary ninja personification of death, but if you were just, like, sharing a train car?  Or sitting in a waiting room?  Not a randomly violent guy.  No homicidal urges.  Probably largely just wants to be left the fuck alone to, like, contemplate Dostoevsky or something. I recently re-watched Cap2, and this scene — it’s basically Bucky’s equivalent of what Steve did on the Lemurian Star — he takes out a whole squadron (???) of pilots single-handedly.  And it’s … stunning how brutallly effective he is.  No fancy Cap parkour.  Just straight up killing machine. Which I think gets at the above meta/commentary — WS is not just a soldier, he’s a highy trained Super Soldier.  He can go toe-to-toe with Steve on basically everything — hand-to-hand combat, leading a team (he leads a team when he’s tracking Nat/Steve), and taking down a large # of machines/men single-handedly. The difference, then, is the drive.  Which is that WS has none.  He is a ghost that simply follows orders (and when he doesn’t, he gets wiped.)  Bucky has no direction, so he goes where he’s pointed.  One thing I find so interesting about mcu!WS is how neutral he is.  There’s no Soviet brainwashing (we see Pierce giving him The Talk, but he doesn’t seem to actually care), no misguided sense of right or wrong.  Just … nothing. Of course, Steve was like that, too, at the beginning of the film — just following orders and muddling through life.  But Steve knew enough to be dissatisfied by that, to Want Out.  Which is why he’s Steve. And this is one of the larger themes of CA:TWS — it’s about a bunch of highly skilled people who no longer find satisfaction in following orders, and want to find meaning outside of their jobs.  Sam did it, Nat and Steve are looking, and Bucky is just starting.
Being Alone, Chill, and Chris Evans: potofsoup:
rainnecassidy:

cynics-and-romantics:

chris-evans-and-his-pizza:

shanology:

verysharpteeth:

I have to comment on the fact that when it comes to the serum, Bucky is souped UP on that stuff. Steve probably tones back how much he’s hitting normal humans, but GOOD LANDS. Bucky’s not just knocking someone down, he’s getting them air borne. With a kick. We know the cyborg arm is really strong, but BUCKY is insanely strong. Reminds me of the comic where he throws an arrow through someone’s face with his good arm, not even the cyborg one. Bucky is scary ramped up in the strength department.

This is why when people talk about Bucky having received an “inferior” version of the serum, I kind of raise my eyebrows. The overall effects of Zola’s serum might have differed from Erskine’s, but it certainly doesn’t seem to have left Bucky physically weaker. There are a lot of fics that assume Bucky would not be a match for Steve if Steve were actually willing to fight him, but Bucky more than proves his strength in Winter Soldier.

This should also make people realize that he isn’t some lost puppy. He can take care of hisself, even if he doesn’t have memories. He got the Smithsonian by himself right? He got those clothes himself right? He can take care of himself.

He was manipulated to be a predator. He is strong enough, swift enough to take down prey. He is intuitive enough to find who or what he wants. Even before The Soldier, Bucky was smart as a whip and could hold his own in a fight. But now? Now he is the perfect weapon, whether or not he wishes to be. He adapts, he fights, he wins.

You know what else bugs me? When people act in fics like he’s just going to snap and kill everyone around him.  Bucky is not a violent person.  I don’t think the Winter Soldier is a violent person either.  He killed because he was ordered to, but if he wasn’t ordered to?  TBH I think the Winter Soldier would probably be pretty chill and quiet.  Like, you wouldn’t want to startle him or whatever, because yeah, scary ninja personification of death, but if you were just, like, sharing a train car?  Or sitting in a waiting room?  Not a randomly violent guy.  No homicidal urges.  Probably largely just wants to be left the fuck alone to, like, contemplate Dostoevsky or something.

I recently re-watched Cap2, and this scene — it’s basically Bucky’s equivalent of what Steve did on the Lemurian Star — he takes out a whole squadron (???) of pilots single-handedly.  And it’s … stunning how brutallly effective he is.  No fancy Cap parkour.  Just straight up killing machine.
Which I think gets at the above meta/commentary — WS is not just a soldier, he’s a highy trained Super Soldier.  He can go toe-to-toe with Steve on basically everything — hand-to-hand combat, leading a team (he leads a team when he’s tracking Nat/Steve), and taking down a large # of machines/men single-handedly.
The difference, then, is the drive.  Which is that WS has none.  He is a ghost that simply follows orders (and when he doesn’t, he gets wiped.)  Bucky has no direction, so he goes where he’s pointed.  One thing I find so interesting about mcu!WS is how neutral he is.  There’s no Soviet brainwashing (we see Pierce giving him The Talk, but he doesn’t seem to actually care), no misguided sense of right or wrong.  Just … nothing.
Of course, Steve was like that, too, at the beginning of the film — just following orders and muddling through life.  But Steve knew enough to be dissatisfied by that, to Want Out.  Which is why he’s Steve.
And this is one of the larger themes of CA:TWS — it’s about a bunch of highly skilled people who no longer find satisfaction in following orders, and want to find meaning outside of their jobs.  Sam did it, Nat and Steve are looking, and Bucky is just starting.

potofsoup: rainnecassidy: cynics-and-romantics: chris-evans-and-his-pizza: shanology: verysharpteeth: I have to comment on the fact tha...