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Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

Tumblr, Blog, and Http: ink-phoenix: mohamedlamine: THE PUREST THING
Tumblr, Blog, and Http: ink-phoenix:

mohamedlamine:

THE PUREST THING

ink-phoenix: mohamedlamine: THE PUREST THING

Amber Rose, Apparently, and Batman: our tumllr usefnare IS now yov s Superhero name hat are your rukathetransformer: gaogaigar-the-king: sharky857: d-structive: isa-ghost: kikuthestrange: epicfangirl01: brynnicle: kisstheashes: anticoffeebeans: rottenka: gum-xx-drop: stray-puppet: illyriashade56: amber-rose-neko-san: shayhammowolf: ninja-girl2846: uwillbeefoundtonight: shadowamongfireworks: madly-handsome: steg-o-sore-us: bitchimnot-here: internet-explorer-official: slow-moving-mammal: internet-explorer-official: itssarcatsm: omgbrekkerkaz: girlnovels: albarnesauthor: lileyreyes: little-euro-girl: distance-does-not-matter: scholarlypidgeot: residinginpurgatory: extraordinary-arbiter-bluebird: saadoesthecatholic: lawfulgoodness: RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUSTICE me. still being catholic. the superpower of setting conflict. aw yeah B) also, I happen to be a bird but that’s not really important I’m… dead. Apparently I’m smart. And I can fly. Distance doesn’t matter to me, so… teleporting? Flying? Idk Uhhh. Maybe I can shrink, like Ant-Man? Idk That’s my name… I have no powers. I am weak. I am the Author, Creater and Destroyer of Worlds!! I control the very fate of existence!!! 😈😏 Girl who can novel extensively and deeply about anything and everything apparently. um… being perfect i suppose??? you will bow before my sarcastic werecat powers Um… You have the same power as me, @internet-explorer-official! You’re slow! Buddies!! stepping on ppl I’m extremely good looking but only when i get angry Its either invisibility …..Or I use fireworks instead of smokebombs to get out of situations/make diversions/etc Let’s hope I’m always outside in a large parking lot when i need to use my powers then I’m good at finding things? But only at nighttime? Welp. This is quite obvious. LYCANTHROPY HELL YEAH b-being part cat?? I guess???  Considering part of my name comes from an eldritch god, I’m pretty well off. Very strong, time manipulation powers, I’m all set. Oh.. Yall get gum drops bitches Rotten??? I’m a zomboy??? Antisepticeye and Coffee? XD Uh…am I a phoenix? I would freeze people on contact. I would also be perpetually cold, which is already true. :P I would have the power of sonic scream and the ability to put people to sleep by my rapid, boring talk of fandoms. I’m so strange that I weird them out and they leave I can turn invisible and possess things ….You know, guys….I’m not sure I am a superhero. OM NOM NOM ALL THE MOFOS! 3 *muffled “Jaws” theme playing in the distance* My power is COURAGEAnd being a cyborg fused with a mecha lion fused with several machines to form the King of Braves. But also COURAGE. …I’m caught up in giant alien robot drama. Im a 2.7m high Super human clad in Futuristic juggernaut batman armor wearing a helmet with batwings. Heeeeelll yes maaa boi
Amber Rose, Apparently, and Batman: our tumllr usefnare
 IS now yov s
 Superhero name
 hat are your
rukathetransformer:

gaogaigar-the-king:

sharky857:
d-structive:

isa-ghost:

kikuthestrange:


epicfangirl01:


brynnicle:


kisstheashes:


anticoffeebeans:


rottenka:

gum-xx-drop:


stray-puppet:


illyriashade56:

amber-rose-neko-san:


shayhammowolf:

ninja-girl2846:


uwillbeefoundtonight:


shadowamongfireworks:

madly-handsome:


steg-o-sore-us:


bitchimnot-here:


internet-explorer-official:


slow-moving-mammal:


internet-explorer-official:


itssarcatsm:


omgbrekkerkaz:

girlnovels:


albarnesauthor:


lileyreyes:


little-euro-girl:


distance-does-not-matter:


scholarlypidgeot:

residinginpurgatory:


extraordinary-arbiter-bluebird:

saadoesthecatholic:

lawfulgoodness:
RIGHTEOUSNESS AND JUSTICE
me. still being catholic.


the superpower of setting conflict. aw yeah B) also, I happen to be a bird but that’s not really important

I’m… dead.


Apparently I’m smart. And I can fly. 

Distance doesn’t matter to me, so… teleporting? Flying? Idk


Uhhh. Maybe I can shrink, like Ant-Man? Idk


That’s my name… I have no powers. I am weak. 


I am the Author, Creater and Destroyer of Worlds!! I control the very fate of existence!!! 😈😏


Girl who can novel extensively and deeply about anything and everything apparently.


um… being perfect i suppose??? 

you will bow before my sarcastic werecat powers


Um…


You have the same power as me, @internet-explorer-official! You’re slow!


Buddies!!




stepping on ppl


I’m extremely good looking but only when i get angry


Its either invisibility
…..Or I use fireworks instead of smokebombs to get out of situations/make diversions/etc
Let’s hope I’m always outside in a large parking lot when i need to use my powers then

I’m good at finding things? But only at nighttime? 


Welp. This is quite obvious. 


LYCANTHROPY HELL YEAH

b-being part cat?? I guess??? 


Considering part of my name comes from an eldritch god, I’m pretty well off. Very strong, time manipulation powers, I’m all set. 

Oh..


Yall get gum drops bitches 


Rotten??? I’m a zomboy???

Antisepticeye and Coffee? XD


Uh…am I a phoenix?


I would freeze people on contact. I would also be perpetually cold, which is already true. :P


I would have the power of sonic scream and the ability to put people to sleep by my rapid, boring talk of fandoms.  


I’m so strange that I weird them out and they leave 


I can turn invisible and possess things

….You know, guys….I’m not sure I am a superhero.

OM NOM NOM ALL THE MOFOS! 3 *muffled “Jaws” theme playing in the distance*

My power is COURAGEAnd being a cyborg fused with a mecha lion fused with several machines to form the King of Braves. But also COURAGE.

…I’m caught up in giant alien robot drama.

Im a 2.7m high Super human clad in Futuristic juggernaut batman armor wearing a helmet with batwings. Heeeeelll yes maaa boi

rukathetransformer: gaogaigar-the-king: sharky857: d-structive: isa-ghost: kikuthestrange: epicfangirl01: brynnicle: kisstheashes:...

Aaron Eckhart , Avengers Age of Ultron, and Birdman: EMMA STONE 54 Sean Penn, 54 Colin Firth, 53 EMMA STONE'S AGE Edward Norton, 45 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Joaquin Phoenix, 40 Bradley Cooper, 40 an Gosling 30 Andrew Garfield, 28 Penn Badgley, 23 Chris Lowell 26 Irrational Birdman, Man Jesse Eisenberg, 25 Gangster 26 26 Squad, 2!5 Jonah Hil 23 24 The Help, 23 Easy A, 21 Aloha, 26 Superbad 18 The Amazing Spider-Man Zombieland 20 Crazy, Stupid, Love Magic in the Moonlight 16 2007 2008 2009 2010 201 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR ULTURE SCARLETT JOHANSSON 54 Bill Murray 52 SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AGE Mark Ruffalo, 47 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Jon Favreau, 47 Billy Bob Thornton, 46 Aaron Eckhart, 38 Matt Damon, 41 Javier Bardem, 39 Hugh Jackman, 37 Joaquin Phoenix, 39 Joseph Gordon- 32 Ewan McGregor, 34 Bradley Cooper 34 Her 29 Jonatharn Rhys Meyers, 28 Chris Evans, 26 We Bought a Zoo, 27 Chef. Don Jon, 29 28 Lost in Translation, 18 The Nanny 24 Match Diaries, 23 Point 22 He's Just Not Vicky That Into You The 21 21 Island, 20 Cristina 21 Bcelona Avengers: Age of Ultron 30 The Man Who Wasn'tv There 16 The Black Scoop Dahlia 16 2001 2003 2005 2007 2009 2011 2013 2015 YEAR ULTURE JENNIFER LAWRENCE 54 JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S AGE LOVE INTEREST'S AGE Christian Bale, 39 Bradley Cooper 40 Bradley Cooper 37 Edgar Ramirez, 38 Michael Fassbender 34 Liam msworth 23 Max Thieriot, 23 Silver Linings Hunger Playbook American Hustle, 23 Serena, 24 The Anton Yelchin, Games, Joy 25 21 23 The Hunger Games: Catching Fire Like X-Men: Crazy First Class, 21 Josh the End of Hutcherson, the Street 20 19 16 2011 2012 2013 2014 2015 YEAR VULTURE ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. this is so gross I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead. It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37. Damn
Aaron Eckhart , Avengers Age of Ultron, and Birdman: EMMA STONE
 54
 Sean Penn, 54
 Colin Firth, 53
 EMMA STONE'S AGE
 Edward
 Norton,
 45
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Joaquin
 Phoenix,
 40
 Bradley
 Cooper, 40
 an
 Gosling
 30
 Andrew
 Garfield,
 28
 Penn
 Badgley,
 23
 Chris
 Lowell
 26
 Irrational
 Birdman, Man
 Jesse
 Eisenberg,
 25
 Gangster
 26
 26
 Squad, 2!5
 Jonah Hil
 23
 24
 The Help, 23
 Easy A, 21
 Aloha, 26
 Superbad
 18
 The
 Amazing
 Spider-Man
 Zombieland
 20
 Crazy,
 Stupid, Love
 Magic in the
 Moonlight
 16
 2007 2008 2009 2010 201 2012 2013 2014 2015
 YEAR
 ULTURE

 SCARLETT JOHANSSON
 54
 Bill Murray
 52
 SCARLETT JOHANSSON'S AGE
 Mark
 Ruffalo,
 47
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Jon Favreau, 47
 Billy Bob
 Thornton,
 46
 Aaron Eckhart,
 38
 Matt Damon,
 41
 Javier
 Bardem,
 39
 Hugh
 Jackman,
 37
 Joaquin
 Phoenix,
 39
 Joseph
 Gordon-
 32
 Ewan McGregor, 34
 Bradley
 Cooper
 34
 Her
 29
 Jonatharn
 Rhys Meyers, 28
 Chris
 Evans,
 26
 We Bought
 a Zoo,
 27
 Chef.
 Don Jon, 29
 28
 Lost in
 Translation,
 18
 The Nanny 24
 Match Diaries, 23
 Point 22
 He's Just Not
 Vicky That Into You
 The 21 21
 Island, 20
 Cristina
 21 Bcelona
 Avengers:
 Age of Ultron
 30
 The Man
 Who Wasn'tv
 There
 16
 The Black
 Scoop Dahlia
 16
 2001
 2003
 2005
 2007
 2009
 2011
 2013
 2015
 YEAR
 ULTURE

 JENNIFER LAWRENCE
 54
 JENNIFER LAWRENCE'S AGE
 LOVE INTEREST'S AGE
 Christian Bale,
 39
 Bradley Cooper
 40
 Bradley Cooper
 37
 Edgar Ramirez, 38
 Michael
 Fassbender
 34
 Liam
 msworth
 23
 Max
 Thieriot,
 23
 Silver
 Linings
 Hunger Playbook
 American
 Hustle,
 23
 Serena,
 24
 The
 Anton Yelchin, Games,
 Joy
 25
 21
 23
 The Hunger Games:
 Catching Fire
 Like
 X-Men: Crazy
 First Class, 21
 Josh the End of
 Hutcherson, the Street
 20
 19
 16
 2011
 2012
 2013
 2014
 2015
 YEAR
 VULTURE
ambermusicbox:

overherewiththequeers:

overherewiththequeers:

castielcampbell:

jaydenthorne:

No. Hollywood has an older man problem.

this is so gross

I wish I could remember the name of the actress who went ballistic after being told that, at 35, she was too old to play the love interest for the 55-year-old lead.

It was Maggie Gyllenhall.  And I stand corrected, she was 37.


Damn

ambermusicbox: overherewiththequeers: overherewiththequeers: castielcampbell: jaydenthorne: No. Hollywood has an older man problem. th...

Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly: malfkoys my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin. with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in intelligence by my fucking cat Read the whole thing what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye
Ass, College, and Confused: let-the-phoenix-fly:
 malfkoys
 my cat has been fucking playing me for weeks, playing me like a fucking
 harp. I feed my cat twice a day with prescribed diet food because she's
 really fat and doesn't know when she's full so she never stops eating
 usually when I come home from class she is all over me like the whore of
 babylon all over me putting on a pity party and trying to get me to sin and
 give her more food but no matter what I only feed her the amount of food
 for her prescribed diet, but after awhile i started noticing that she wasn't
 loosing weight at all and was actually just getting fatter, so I called the vet
 pissed and i'm just like the fuck she's still getting fat. so I switched her to
 another diet food and that still didn't work and I was so confused and
 frustrated like what is wrong with this cat? so a couple weeks go by and I
 start noticing that I go through bags of food really fast like a week fast and
 I remembered how I thought that was so weird like l God honest could not
 figure out why the food disappeared so fast (my former naive and innocernt
 mind) well y'all ready here's the fucking climax-the other day my class
 was canceled and I come downstairs at like noonish and do you know
 what I see when I get down? I see my fucking cat sitting in the food bin.
 with my own two eyes I see her sitting in the fucking food bin. my spoiled
 ass cat has been eating like a fucking queen and living it the fuck up while
 I'm in class and then pretends like she's hungry when i get home. and you
 know what's the real kicker? when she leaves the lid gets knocked shut
 which is why i never caught onto her scam. she's fucking been working
 the system and playing the food game right under my fucking nose like i
 want to scream and now I have to call the vet and the morning and explain
 to him how, a well educated adult in college. got one-upped in
 intelligence by my fucking cat
 Read the whole thing
what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye

what kind of posts do u want cause my stats been like bye bye