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Amazon, Drunk, and Internet: old man bangers @FindusPancake My mum was teaching first holy communion class, and a kid asked her "How many communions do vou have to do before you've eaten a whole Jesus?" 24/3/18, 8:48 am 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tobaeus: ralfmaximus: nyxetoile: antibutch: thats a valid question A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years. 1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000 But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well? The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood. Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml). So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times. Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33. How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. Osnap what an excellent question. Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter. 4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds. Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change. @danbensen Full Metal Eucharist The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know. @garpfloyd If you just buy a sack of wafers, that’s just bread. To get the transubstatntiation going you need to have a priest perform the full ritual over them. By which I mean an entire Mass for every like, plateful? If you cut out the songs and use pretty short readings you could probably get one churned out every half-hour or so…
Amazon, Drunk, and Internet: old man bangers
 @FindusPancake
 My mum was teaching first holy
 communion class, and a kid asked her
 "How many communions do vou have
 to do before you've eaten a whole
 Jesus?"
 24/3/18, 8:48 am
 10K Retweets 35.1K Likes
sindri42:
xanderbot13:

gannayev:


spiletta42:

ragnell:

danbensen:

exxos-von-steamboldt:


ralfmaximus:

moogloogle:

ralfmaximus:


tobaeus:


ralfmaximus:

nyxetoile:


antibutch:
thats a valid question
A communion wafer, according to the internet, is about .25g. Jesus was a healthy young man, who worked manual labor and walked everywhere. The average male in Biblical times was 5′1″ and about 110 pounds so call it 50kg or 50,000 grams. So 200,000 wafers to make up a whole Jesus. At one wafer a week that’s 3846 to eat a whole Jesus at weekly communion. If you went to Mass daily you could do it in under 550 years.


1000 communion wafers from Amazon costs $15, so acquiring a Jesus load would set you back about $3000

But that’s just the body. Jesus also bade his followers to drink his blood. How much of that Jesus communion wafer supply needs to be replaced with communion wine to account for his blood, and how much of that would need to be consumed to have drunk all his blood as well?


The human body contains roughly 5 liters of blood.
Communion wine costs about $66 for a case of 12 x 750 ml bottles (9000 ml).
So half a case is 4500 ml, or close enough if Jesus was on the small side which is reasonable given what we know of the times.
Thus, Jesus’ blood would be about 6 bottles of communion wine, costing $33.


How much of his weight was his blood, now? We can bring down the wafer count. 

Osnap what an excellent question.
Water has a specific gravity of 1.0 and weighs 1kg/liter. Wine has a specific gravity if 1.5 thus weighs 1.5kg per liter.
4.5L of wine would weigh 6.75kg or about 15 pounds.
Reducing the wafer load by 6.75kg yields 43.25kg so call it 161,000 wafers or $2450 and change.

@danbensen


Full Metal Eucharist

The Unholy Union of Catholic Tumblr and Math Tumblr
This is one of those posts I will absolutely email to every pastor I know.



@garpfloyd 

If you just buy a sack of wafers, that’s just bread. To get the transubstatntiation going you need to have a priest perform the full ritual over them. By which I mean an entire Mass for every like, plateful? If you cut out the songs and use pretty short readings you could probably get one churned out every half-hour or so…

sindri42: xanderbot13: gannayev: spiletta42: ragnell: danbensen: exxos-von-steamboldt: ralfmaximus: moogloogle: ralfmaximus: tob...

Memes, Idiot, and 🤖: D-O-D 5 Ucapan Presiden Duterte yang Menghina Tuhan dan Gereia GODDoD 1. Sebut Tuhan Bodoh. Jumat (26-6-2018) secara terbuka Duterte menghina Tuhan. Dalam sebuah pidato yang disiarkan di televisi nasional Filipina, Duterte menyinggung kenapa Tuhan menciptakan Adam dan Hawa hanya untuk membiarkan mereka menyerah pada godaan iblis. "Siapa Tuhan yang bodoh ini? Si kurang ajar ini, benar-benar bodoh," sebut Duterte seperti dikutip dari Asocciated Press. "Bagaimana kalian bisa merasionalisasi sesosok Tuhan? apakah kalian percaya?" sambung dia. Ucapan Duterte, direspons juru bicara kepresidenan, Harry Roque. Menurutnya, ucapan Duterte adalah opini pribadi. 2. Akui Tuhan Sebagai Musuhnya. Pada 28 Juli 2018 Duterte mengakui punya banyak musuh, salah satunya Tuhan. "Saya punya banyak musuh, termasuk pula Tuhan (itu musuh saya). Saya percaya Tuhan, tetapi seperti yang saya bilang Tuhan saya bukan seperti Tuhan kalian," ujar Duterte "Tuhan saya masuk akal, Tuhan kalian tidak. Ada pemisah antara gereja dan negara. Jadi kalian harus menghormati dengan cara tidak memohon kepada Tuhan," sambung dia. 3. Menyuruh Warga Filipina Tak Usah ke Gereja. Masih pada 2018, Duterte mendorong umat Katolik di Filipina tak usah pergi ke gereja. "Bangun kapel sendiri di rumahmu dan berdoa saja di sana," sebut Duterte seperti dikutip dari Rappler. "Kalian tak perlu ke gereja untuk memberikan uang kepada orang-orang idiot itu," sambung dia. Perkataan idiot yang dilontarkan Duterte ditujukan untuk pemuka agama Katolik di Filipina. Ia mengklaim uang saku dari pastur dan pendeta berasal dari sedekah para jemaat. 4. Siap Mundur dari Presiden Jika Tuhan Benar-benar Ada. Pada Juli 2018 Duterte menyebut ia siap mundur dari Presiden jika Tuhan itu ada. "Bila Dia (Tuhan) memang ada, saya akan mengundurkan diri dari kepresidenan malam ini juga," tutur Duterte. 5. Memerintahkan untuk Membunuh Pastor. Duterte pada akhir 2018 menyebut pastor di Filipina sebagai kelompok tak berguna dan pantas dibunuh. "Para pastor yang kalian miliki, bunuh mereka. Mereka itu tak ada gunanya dan bodoh, yang bisa mereka lakukan cuma mengkritik," sebut Duterte. Sumber: kumparan.com
Memes, Idiot, and 🤖: D-O-D
 5 Ucapan Presiden Duterte
 yang Menghina Tuhan
 dan Gereia
GODDoD 1. Sebut Tuhan Bodoh. Jumat (26-6-2018) secara terbuka Duterte menghina Tuhan. Dalam sebuah pidato yang disiarkan di televisi nasional Filipina, Duterte menyinggung kenapa Tuhan menciptakan Adam dan Hawa hanya untuk membiarkan mereka menyerah pada godaan iblis. "Siapa Tuhan yang bodoh ini? Si kurang ajar ini, benar-benar bodoh," sebut Duterte seperti dikutip dari Asocciated Press. "Bagaimana kalian bisa merasionalisasi sesosok Tuhan? apakah kalian percaya?" sambung dia. Ucapan Duterte, direspons juru bicara kepresidenan, Harry Roque. Menurutnya, ucapan Duterte adalah opini pribadi. 2. Akui Tuhan Sebagai Musuhnya. Pada 28 Juli 2018 Duterte mengakui punya banyak musuh, salah satunya Tuhan. "Saya punya banyak musuh, termasuk pula Tuhan (itu musuh saya). Saya percaya Tuhan, tetapi seperti yang saya bilang Tuhan saya bukan seperti Tuhan kalian," ujar Duterte "Tuhan saya masuk akal, Tuhan kalian tidak. Ada pemisah antara gereja dan negara. Jadi kalian harus menghormati dengan cara tidak memohon kepada Tuhan," sambung dia. 3. Menyuruh Warga Filipina Tak Usah ke Gereja. Masih pada 2018, Duterte mendorong umat Katolik di Filipina tak usah pergi ke gereja. "Bangun kapel sendiri di rumahmu dan berdoa saja di sana," sebut Duterte seperti dikutip dari Rappler. "Kalian tak perlu ke gereja untuk memberikan uang kepada orang-orang idiot itu," sambung dia. Perkataan idiot yang dilontarkan Duterte ditujukan untuk pemuka agama Katolik di Filipina. Ia mengklaim uang saku dari pastur dan pendeta berasal dari sedekah para jemaat. 4. Siap Mundur dari Presiden Jika Tuhan Benar-benar Ada. Pada Juli 2018 Duterte menyebut ia siap mundur dari Presiden jika Tuhan itu ada. "Bila Dia (Tuhan) memang ada, saya akan mengundurkan diri dari kepresidenan malam ini juga," tutur Duterte. 5. Memerintahkan untuk Membunuh Pastor. Duterte pada akhir 2018 menyebut pastor di Filipina sebagai kelompok tak berguna dan pantas dibunuh. "Para pastor yang kalian miliki, bunuh mereka. Mereka itu tak ada gunanya dan bodoh, yang bisa mereka lakukan cuma mengkritik," sebut Duterte. Sumber: kumparan.com

GODDoD 1. Sebut Tuhan Bodoh. Jumat (26-6-2018) secara terbuka Duterte menghina Tuhan. Dalam sebuah pidato yang disiarkan di televisi nasiona...