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Cute, Memes, and πŸ€–: takin some cute photos of the sloths at the zoo wiv me pants down
Cute, Memes, and πŸ€–: takin some cute photos of the sloths at the zoo wiv me pants down

takin some cute photos of the sloths at the zoo wiv me pants down

Af, Bruh, and Dank: ember when she was wearing ney but her credit card got deni Bruh I'm at work and this sexy girl walk in short top with yoga pants on my life she was fine afπŸ‘ ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Follow @icecoldsavage for more
Af, Bruh, and Dank: ember when she was wearing
 ney but her credit card got deni
Bruh I'm at work and this sexy girl walk in short top with yoga pants on my life she was fine afπŸ‘ ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Follow @icecoldsavage for more

Bruh I'm at work and this sexy girl walk in short top with yoga pants on my life she was fine afπŸ‘ ⬇️⬇️⬇️ Follow @icecoldsavage for more

Memes, Good, and Been: Tf is the point of even wearing his pants then? Kodak must've been clapping them cheeks good cuz he got X pants slumped
Memes, Good, and Been: Tf is the point of even wearing his pants then? Kodak must've been clapping them cheeks good cuz he got X pants slumped

Tf is the point of even wearing his pants then? Kodak must've been clapping them cheeks good cuz he got X pants slumped

80s, America, and Ass: the kind of cuddle puddle l want to be in @DrSmashlove So yesterday I'm bending over in my office to pick something up and boom, the butt seam of my suit pants breaks because BigAssProblems. Now usually I got a sewing kit with me in my gym bag but yesterday was a rest day. So reluctantly I'm like "let me bug Susan the head of HR because in addition to people flooding her with questions about whether or not they can pay for Plan B out of their FlexSpend account, lemme be the asshole who asks her if she got a sewing kit." Not only does she have one, she says she'll bring it right by. She knocks on my door and I'm like "ayeee thank you!!" And she says "no problem smash! Is there something I can sew for you?" She ain't even ask it like a 'fake ask', neither - she was dead ass. Bruh. BRUH. At that moment all I could think of was all the assholes in corporate America who's ever crossed the line and asked a senior woman to do something degrading AS FVCK. Get them lunch. Get their cleaning. All the shit u poor women did in the 70s and 80s for overbearing assholes who don't believe a woman is there for any purpose other than to support them. So in 2017, even as women run companies (Meg Whitman) and countries (Angela Merkel), a senior woman at my firm asked if she could sew my pants. What I said: "thank you Susan but I'm good, I can sew!!" What I should have said: "SUSAN - NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT NEED TO SEW MY PANTS - BUT IF ANY MAN EVER ASKS YOU TO SEW SOMETHING EVER AGAIN - WHETHER A SHIRT OR DRESS PANTS FULL OF HIS BUTTSWEAT - COME SEE ME SO HE COULD GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING HANDS." Ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
80s, America, and Ass: the kind of cuddle puddle l want to be in
 @DrSmashlove
So yesterday I'm bending over in my office to pick something up and boom, the butt seam of my suit pants breaks because BigAssProblems. Now usually I got a sewing kit with me in my gym bag but yesterday was a rest day. So reluctantly I'm like "let me bug Susan the head of HR because in addition to people flooding her with questions about whether or not they can pay for Plan B out of their FlexSpend account, lemme be the asshole who asks her if she got a sewing kit." Not only does she have one, she says she'll bring it right by. She knocks on my door and I'm like "ayeee thank you!!" And she says "no problem smash! Is there something I can sew for you?" She ain't even ask it like a 'fake ask', neither - she was dead ass. Bruh. BRUH. At that moment all I could think of was all the assholes in corporate America who's ever crossed the line and asked a senior woman to do something degrading AS FVCK. Get them lunch. Get their cleaning. All the shit u poor women did in the 70s and 80s for overbearing assholes who don't believe a woman is there for any purpose other than to support them. So in 2017, even as women run companies (Meg Whitman) and countries (Angela Merkel), a senior woman at my firm asked if she could sew my pants. What I said: "thank you Susan but I'm good, I can sew!!" What I should have said: "SUSAN - NOT ONLY DO YOU NOT NEED TO SEW MY PANTS - BUT IF ANY MAN EVER ASKS YOU TO SEW SOMETHING EVER AGAIN - WHETHER A SHIRT OR DRESS PANTS FULL OF HIS BUTTSWEAT - COME SEE ME SO HE COULD GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING HANDS." Ya get me! Bless up πŸ˜πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

So yesterday I'm bending over in my office to pick something up and boom, the butt seam of my suit pants breaks because BigAssProblems. Now ...

Memes, πŸ€–, and Doggo: my paw, would you like it? @DrSmashlove Not a lot of y'all like "could smash's stories be true", "he gotta be making this shit up", "no way his life is really like this". Well the problem is sometimes I don't go into the details on some truly embarrassing stories so y'all only think my life is foot loose and fancy free. Aw hella nah. With that said let me tell y'all a story I never told before. So one time I'm at a bar in Bucktown Bruh and I meet this gyal and we hit it off and we Uber back to her crib in Rogers Park (she was a researcher at Loyola University) way TF in the north part of the city damn near to Evanston so she could walk her doggo before the end of the night. Now mind u I'm a planner. I'm spontaneous but I like to be at least somewhat responsible. But I'm also always up for an adventure so we go there talk all night do our lil thang etc etc bottom line I crash there. Now at 8 am I get a calendar reminder that I got a breakfast meeting back downtown at 8 am with a dude trying to sell the 50% of a successful consulting business he owns. I got one hour. Not nearly enuf time to head home shower change and be on time. Now one thing about smash is, I can't start a day without coffee, a shower, and some fresh draws and socks. Ain't happening. I mean - I can. But my chakras ain't aligned. My fong shway off AF. U feel me? So I noticed homegirl is two blocks away from a Walgreens and I sprint there and frantically ask if they got socks and undies. Nah. But they do got medical diabetic socks and Depends "athletic fit" adults padded cloth underwear Huggies that pull up to your belly button. At that moment dear followers smash had a quandary. Am I really bout this life? Am I gonna put pride 2 the side and be a 75 year old for breakfast? What if my pants catch on fire and I have to strip them off and the whole restaurant sees I'm wearing diapers and diabetic socks? So anyway after a successful breakfast meeting I strolled around the city freshly showered and belly full donning my Huggies and over-the-knee diabetic socks and I had a realization: don't fear old age. Being 75 is low key cozy AF 😩 BasedOnATrueStory OrNot AsAlwaysImmaLetTheReadersDecide πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚
Memes, πŸ€–, and Doggo: my paw, would you like it?
 @DrSmashlove
Not a lot of y'all like "could smash's stories be true", "he gotta be making this shit up", "no way his life is really like this". Well the problem is sometimes I don't go into the details on some truly embarrassing stories so y'all only think my life is foot loose and fancy free. Aw hella nah. With that said let me tell y'all a story I never told before. So one time I'm at a bar in Bucktown Bruh and I meet this gyal and we hit it off and we Uber back to her crib in Rogers Park (she was a researcher at Loyola University) way TF in the north part of the city damn near to Evanston so she could walk her doggo before the end of the night. Now mind u I'm a planner. I'm spontaneous but I like to be at least somewhat responsible. But I'm also always up for an adventure so we go there talk all night do our lil thang etc etc bottom line I crash there. Now at 8 am I get a calendar reminder that I got a breakfast meeting back downtown at 8 am with a dude trying to sell the 50% of a successful consulting business he owns. I got one hour. Not nearly enuf time to head home shower change and be on time. Now one thing about smash is, I can't start a day without coffee, a shower, and some fresh draws and socks. Ain't happening. I mean - I can. But my chakras ain't aligned. My fong shway off AF. U feel me? So I noticed homegirl is two blocks away from a Walgreens and I sprint there and frantically ask if they got socks and undies. Nah. But they do got medical diabetic socks and Depends "athletic fit" adults padded cloth underwear Huggies that pull up to your belly button. At that moment dear followers smash had a quandary. Am I really bout this life? Am I gonna put pride 2 the side and be a 75 year old for breakfast? What if my pants catch on fire and I have to strip them off and the whole restaurant sees I'm wearing diapers and diabetic socks? So anyway after a successful breakfast meeting I strolled around the city freshly showered and belly full donning my Huggies and over-the-knee diabetic socks and I had a realization: don't fear old age. Being 75 is low key cozy AF 😩 BasedOnATrueStory OrNot AsAlwaysImmaLetTheReadersDecide πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

Not a lot of y'all like "could smash's stories be true", "he gotta be making this shit up", "no way his life is really like this". Well the ...