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Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster. Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw @DrSmashlove So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂
Bad, Beyonce, and Booty: If you don't pet him, you're a monster.
 Pic: reddit u/coal the slaw
 @DrSmashlove
So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mom-and-Pop coffee joints that serve coffee made with love, care, affection and human warmth (and therefore close early so that they wonderful baristas can go act in plays and paint paintings and do other artsy tings that allow them to form doves and angels and birds in yo latte) and head to the barren desert land that is Starbucks, where they serve piping-hot burnt sludge-water brewed from the charcoal grains of Hell. Literally Starbucks got a long term supply agreement with Satan where they pay half they net revenue to ol dude with the red goat face and long tail and in return he supply them with coffee that shouldn’t be served to maximum security prisoners bruv. BUT THEY OPEN 24-7 BECAUSE SATAN NEVER SLEEPS - HE’S ALWAYS WREAKING HAVOC (except during Ramadan 🤗😂). Anyway so I’m there and they got the nerve. The cot damn NERVE...to play a playlist where Jay and Beyoncé are followed by Johnny Cash which is followed by “Till the Lights Come On” by Sun Rai (I had to Google the lyrics. No offense Sun Rai u probably a star of some sort but ya music sound like booty cheeks NO OFFENSE 🤗). Who did this? Who is RESPONSIBLE for this? In addition to obtaining they coffee supply from Satan, do they also let him hook up the playlists? How I’m pose to concentrate when y’all playing Jakob Dylan followed by Echosmith? I have ADD. Is this playlist meant to melt the remaining shred of sanity I have? Y’all serve coffee that’s stronger than bad cocaine and y’all play music that is jarring, discordant and unharmonious - combine the two and I now have the subtle urge to punch a baby 🤗. Y’all absolutely some criminals for this lmao. Change that mermaid on ya cup to Lucifer because this is the last time I ever fux with y’all devilish establishment - AWAY FROM ME, SATAN! 🤗😂😂😂

So yesterday I had about 12 hours of work to knock out and as the night got older, I had to leave the warm, familiar confines of my go-to Mo...

Af, Bad, and Dude: 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck ls Trash @balleralert Read more: www.balleralert.com 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck Is Trash - blogged by @niksofly ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you let men tell it, all of them have magical golden penises that give out orgasms like free lunch. Every dude is well endowed and knows what they're doing, and if they're allowed to gas you, they all will tell you how nasty they are and how their skully (oral sex ) game is beasty. Somehow, women buy that wolf and soon realize the d*ck is wack AF. By that time, it's too late and an L has been bestowed upon her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Word to the wise: dudes with a village of kids usually have good d*ck. Not to mention, if he doesn't say anything about his performance outside of "I know me and I'm good at what I do,” you about to get the most phenomenal d*ck of your life. Don't question me. Just accept the facts, lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anyhoo, here are the top reasons the d*ck is wack AF. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 1. She is allergic to shellfish. That little shrimp is only tickling her labia. If she doesn't gasp when you put it in-It's wack. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 2. And if you have length, you're missing girth. Women don’t want to bust a vein trying to grip your pencil d*ck. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 3. You make too much noise. Yeah, she knows you are swimming in ecstasy, but right now she's drowning in your theatrics. It's bad enough your d*ck is small, but the noise is stopping her from concentrating on gripping your vienna and climaxing. The sh*t is hard work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 4. Eating is not literal. Your pregame is horrid. You’re either eating vagina like a cat licking milk or you about to give her a total hysterectomy. There are nerves down there sir. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 5. Mentioning nerves. Stop trying to beat her walls down or rupture her cervix. She needs all components. That hurts like hell. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 6. And if you're a decent size, you are Thumper the Quick Pumper. She just slid on your manhood and it's over already. I'm pretty sure paint drying would be more gratifying. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 7. And let's not get into how boring you are in bed. It's the same two ......to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)
Af, Bad, and Dude: 10 Reasons Why Your D*ck ls Trash
 @balleralert
 Read more: www.balleralert.com
10 Reasons Why Your D*ck Is Trash - blogged by @niksofly ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you let men tell it, all of them have magical golden penises that give out orgasms like free lunch. Every dude is well endowed and knows what they're doing, and if they're allowed to gas you, they all will tell you how nasty they are and how their skully (oral sex ) game is beasty. Somehow, women buy that wolf and soon realize the d*ck is wack AF. By that time, it's too late and an L has been bestowed upon her. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Word to the wise: dudes with a village of kids usually have good d*ck. Not to mention, if he doesn't say anything about his performance outside of "I know me and I'm good at what I do,” you about to get the most phenomenal d*ck of your life. Don't question me. Just accept the facts, lol. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Anyhoo, here are the top reasons the d*ck is wack AF. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 1. She is allergic to shellfish. That little shrimp is only tickling her labia. If she doesn't gasp when you put it in-It's wack. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 2. And if you have length, you're missing girth. Women don’t want to bust a vein trying to grip your pencil d*ck. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 3. You make too much noise. Yeah, she knows you are swimming in ecstasy, but right now she's drowning in your theatrics. It's bad enough your d*ck is small, but the noise is stopping her from concentrating on gripping your vienna and climaxing. The sh*t is hard work. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 4. Eating is not literal. Your pregame is horrid. You’re either eating vagina like a cat licking milk or you about to give her a total hysterectomy. There are nerves down there sir. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 5. Mentioning nerves. Stop trying to beat her walls down or rupture her cervix. She needs all components. That hurts like hell. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 6. And if you're a decent size, you are Thumper the Quick Pumper. She just slid on your manhood and it's over already. I'm pretty sure paint drying would be more gratifying. ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ 7. And let's not get into how boring you are in bed. It's the same two ......to read the rest log on to BallerAlert.com (clickable link on profile)

10 Reasons Why Your D*ck Is Trash - blogged by @niksofly ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ If you let men tell it, all of them have magical golden penises tha...

Anaconda, Bad, and Birthday: RI 111 669 9:00 PM Today Do You Still have this item for sale??Dell Inspiron i7347 2-in-1 Laptop$400.00 8:24 PM I sure do 8:25 PM Alright am so glad you replied back,but first i want to know the present condition of the item and final asking price?? 8:25 PM It's been my daily use laptop for the past year or so, so the only "defect" is a small chip in the paint beside the TAB key. And, I could go down to $375 l suppose. 8:27 PM Thanks for your swift response, i want it shipped to my cousin outside of Canada as a birthday gift,i will pay you $450 and additional $100 for shipping cost, i hope that this is real and not a scam, do you have a PayPal account?? 8:28 PM I don't, no. 8:31 PM Ok, can you set up a PayPal account its free and easy to use also %100 safe and secure and best option for online shopping OK? 8:32 PM I'm not to sure, to be honest. I'm not willing to go along with the whole thing where you send me a false PayPal receipt via a temp email, claiming the funds will be unlocked once I send you a copy of the shipping receipt, and then promptly fall off the face of the earth Apologies if this is legit--But this seems waaaaay too sketchy to go along with 8:34 PM nter message Send RIマ·1111 65% . 9:05 PM Today Hello is the Dell laptop still available for sale? Sent from my Verizon 8:29 PM It is, yes 8:31 PM what is your best offer at the moment Sent from my Verizon 8:35 PM The only offer I've got was $450 from a very obvious PayPal scammer lol 8:35 PM Not sure if your/my connection was bad but that call was completely inaudible 8:40 PM i can barely here you here too Sent from my Verizon I am dissbled i only live on my ssid Sent from my Verizon i am scared of getting scammed i can not walk Sent from my Verizon 8:44 PM Can you drive down here? Sent from my Verizon 8:45 PM Your area code is from BC. I can't really drive all the way over there 8:45 PM I am willing to pay and get the laptop Sent from my Verizon 8:45 PM That would be great if you were local 8:46 PM i am in Ontario Sent from my Verizon 846 PM I can't drive either--ive had a few too many DUls 8:47 PM I will be glad if you can ship down here for me sir ,i want my laptop replaced for me ,i don't mind paying extra charge:s Sent from my Verizon 8:48 PM I've been banned from the post office. Margaret doesn't let me come around there anymore after the incident of '08 8:49 PM Kindly Sent from my Verizon Can you help me get someone to send it for me Sent from my Verizon 8:50 PM i could have my carrier pigeorn bring it over to you 8:51 PM I will transfer the cash to you and you will tell him to help me ship down to my house here in Kitchener Sent from my Verizon 8:52 PM sure thing bud Sent from my iPod Shuffle 8:53 PM 0 Sent from my Verizon what payment options are available to you? Sent from my Verizon 8:56 PM if you can mail me a 1992 Honda Civic shift knob in the mail we'll be straight 8:57 PM suck a fat dick bastard Sent from my Verizon that's not okay I'm underage 9:03 PM nter message Send 2-for-1 Kijiji Scam Special!
Anaconda, Bad, and Birthday: RI 111 669 9:00 PM
 Today
 Do You Still have this item for
 sale??Dell Inspiron i7347 2-in-1
 Laptop$400.00
 8:24 PM
 I sure do
 8:25 PM
 Alright am so glad you replied
 back,but first i want to know the
 present condition of the item and
 final asking price??
 8:25 PM
 It's been my daily use laptop for
 the past year or so, so the only
 "defect" is a small chip in the paint
 beside the TAB key. And, I could go
 down to $375 l suppose.
 8:27 PM
 Thanks for your swift response,
 i want it shipped to my cousin
 outside of Canada as a birthday
 gift,i will pay you $450 and
 additional $100 for shipping cost,
 i hope that this is real and not
 a scam, do you have a PayPal
 account??
 8:28 PM
 I don't, no.
 8:31 PM
 Ok, can you set up a PayPal
 account its free and easy to use
 also %100 safe and secure and
 best option for online shopping
 OK?
 8:32 PM
 I'm not to sure, to be honest. I'm
 not willing to go along with the
 whole thing where you send me
 a false PayPal receipt via a temp
 email, claiming the funds will be
 unlocked once I send you a copy
 of the shipping receipt, and then
 promptly fall off the face of the
 earth
 Apologies if this is legit--But this
 seems waaaaay too sketchy to go
 along with
 8:34 PM
 nter message
 Send

 RIマ·1111 65% . 9:05 PM
 Today
 Hello is the Dell laptop still
 available for sale?
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:29 PM
 It is, yes
 8:31 PM
 what is your best offer at the
 moment
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:35 PM
 The only offer I've got was $450
 from a very obvious PayPal
 scammer lol
 8:35 PM
 Not sure if your/my connection
 was bad but that call was
 completely inaudible
 8:40 PM
 i can barely here you here too
 Sent from my Verizon
 I am dissbled i only live on my ssid
 Sent from my Verizon
 i am scared of getting scammed i
 can not walk
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:44 PM
 Can you drive down here?
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:45 PM
 Your area code is from BC. I can't
 really drive all the way over there
 8:45 PM
 I am willing to pay and get the
 laptop
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:45 PM
 That would be great if you were
 local
 8:46 PM
 i am in Ontario
 Sent from my Verizon 846 PM
 I can't drive either--ive had a few
 too many DUls
 8:47 PM
 I will be glad if you can ship down
 here for me sir ,i want my laptop
 replaced for me ,i don't mind
 paying extra charge:s
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:48 PM
 I've been banned from the post
 office. Margaret doesn't let me
 come around there anymore after
 the incident of '08
 8:49 PM
 Kindly
 Sent from my Verizon
 Can you help me get someone to
 send it for me
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:50 PM
 i could have my carrier pigeorn
 bring it over to you
 8:51 PM
 I will transfer the cash to you
 and you will tell him to help me
 ship down to my house here in
 Kitchener
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:52 PM
 sure thing bud
 Sent from my iPod Shuffle
 8:53 PM
 0
 Sent from my Verizon
 what payment options are
 available to you?
 Sent from my Verizon
 8:56 PM
 if you can mail me a 1992 Honda
 Civic shift knob in the mail we'll be
 straight
 8:57 PM
 suck a fat dick bastard
 Sent from my Verizon
 that's not okay I'm underage
 9:03 PM
 nter message
 Send
2-for-1 Kijiji Scam Special!

2-for-1 Kijiji Scam Special!

Af, Bless Up, and Bodies : u/EyeBrowsReddit84 ld i.redd.it A three hour drive to the ocean is worth it for old man Stan. I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma need to start a whole new IG account on hygiene only 😩. With that said one of my followers commented today: “I’m dying😂😂😂I sent a guy into the shower once after he unzipped his pants and I caught a sniff of his sweaty HAIRY balls. I told him to clean himself and shave. He came out with bald patches and kinky patches that still stunk🤢🤢🤢”. Ok this raises two extremely important points, lemme address them in turn. (1) Some of y’all don’t know how to shower and need a full aura reboot - reset - recleanse. Go directly to Traders Joe. Buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint liquid wash. This shit will strip paint off cars. Turn the shower as hot as it go (UNLESS u live in the housing projects then DON’T DO THIS - project water get hot af lol I assume no responsibility for u cooking yourself.) Squirt a palm full of Dr. Bronners. Now physically violate the inside space between yo balls and yo thigh and also yo a$$ crack. Some of y’all have never since yo mama stopped bathing u actually washed this area properly. Go deep. Make it hurt a little. U feel me? Go hard. (2) For some of y’all the overall nastiness has seeped and stained into your body hair and now that body hair is a repository for stankariffic stankotry. When I said on here I shave my pits and PP some of u women got on here like “NOOOO PUBIC HAIR IS SEXY EW!” Yeah. Till u with Nasty Ned who make u vomit from his pube hair smell. Hand Ned a razor and a bar of soap. Ned, shave it all from the neck down. It’s rebirthing time. P.s. as I’ve detailed in previous posts, the Dr. Bronner’s soap is so potent that it will burn a lil bit when u pee. This isn’t an STD. This is the opening of yo PP finally being clean. Some of your bodies won’t be used to this and it will take adjustment but it will be worth it AF, I promise y’all - CLEANLINESS IS HOLINESS BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂
Af, Bless Up, and Bodies : u/EyeBrowsReddit84 ld i.redd.it
 A three hour drive to the ocean is worth it for
 old man Stan.
I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma need to start a whole new IG account on hygiene only 😩. With that said one of my followers commented today: “I’m dying😂😂😂I sent a guy into the shower once after he unzipped his pants and I caught a sniff of his sweaty HAIRY balls. I told him to clean himself and shave. He came out with bald patches and kinky patches that still stunk🤢🤢🤢”. Ok this raises two extremely important points, lemme address them in turn. (1) Some of y’all don’t know how to shower and need a full aura reboot - reset - recleanse. Go directly to Traders Joe. Buy a bottle of Dr. Bronner’s peppermint liquid wash. This shit will strip paint off cars. Turn the shower as hot as it go (UNLESS u live in the housing projects then DON’T DO THIS - project water get hot af lol I assume no responsibility for u cooking yourself.) Squirt a palm full of Dr. Bronners. Now physically violate the inside space between yo balls and yo thigh and also yo a$$ crack. Some of y’all have never since yo mama stopped bathing u actually washed this area properly. Go deep. Make it hurt a little. U feel me? Go hard. (2) For some of y’all the overall nastiness has seeped and stained into your body hair and now that body hair is a repository for stankariffic stankotry. When I said on here I shave my pits and PP some of u women got on here like “NOOOO PUBIC HAIR IS SEXY EW!” Yeah. Till u with Nasty Ned who make u vomit from his pube hair smell. Hand Ned a razor and a bar of soap. Ned, shave it all from the neck down. It’s rebirthing time. P.s. as I’ve detailed in previous posts, the Dr. Bronner’s soap is so potent that it will burn a lil bit when u pee. This isn’t an STD. This is the opening of yo PP finally being clean. Some of your bodies won’t be used to this and it will take adjustment but it will be worth it AF, I promise y’all - CLEANLINESS IS HOLINESS BLESS UP 😍😂😂😂

I’m worried I’ve opened a flood gate with y’all and that the hygiene discussion will never end - one of my lil homegirls text me saying imma...