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Be Like, Shit, and Target: your-raifu-is-shit: throh: ollivander: flowergirlrobichiko: the only acceptable reason #I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo TITTY 2 BOMB Bra size: C4
Be Like, Shit, and Target: your-raifu-is-shit:

throh:

ollivander:

flowergirlrobichiko:

the only acceptable reason

#I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo

TITTY 2 BOMB

Bra size: C4

your-raifu-is-shit: throh: ollivander: flowergirlrobichiko: the only acceptable reason #I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like ...

Be Like, Shit, and Tumblr: your-raifu-is-shit: throh: ollivander: flowergirlrobichiko: the only acceptable reason #I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo TITTY 2 BOMB Bra size: C4
Be Like, Shit, and Tumblr: your-raifu-is-shit:
throh:

ollivander:

flowergirlrobichiko:

the only acceptable reason

#I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like yoooo

TITTY 2 BOMB

Bra size: C4

your-raifu-is-shit: throh: ollivander: flowergirlrobichiko: the only acceptable reason #I was gonna be like nooooo but then I was like y...

Alive, Bruh, and Cars: m4ge ollivander Follow robotmango it's ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my husband was like, Tm gonna go for a bike ride." and i was like "why no. why. don't put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey don't do it." so he says he doesn't want to "hide in the house" because the sun is shining. bruh. honeybruh. "the sun is shining" does not cover it. its hot outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this morning awed-frog @robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea. robotmango this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit. pretty great. now it's ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a "borrower that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved. you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil's preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in conclusion fuck the sun Source: robotmango 124,122 notes A fuck the sun
Alive, Bruh, and Cars: m4ge ollivander Follow
 robotmango
 it's ninety-nine degrees outside, four fuck-thousand percent humidity, and my
 husband was like, Tm gonna go for a bike ride." and i was like "why no. why.
 don't put us on the news like that. local fool collapses on unnecessary journey
 don't do it." so he says he doesn't want to "hide in the house" because the sun
 is shining. bruh. honeybruh. "the sun is shining" does not cover it. its hot
 outside. its motherfucking hot as fuck outside. our outdoor plants have been
 crying into their hands all week. whole cars are melting into the sewer. our
 fucking patio umbrella developed sentience to ask me for lemonade this
 morning
 awed-frog
 @robotmango, you need to work for the weather forecast - this was both
 hilarious and so vivid it made me stand up and get some iced tea.
 robotmango
 this is a great idea, thank you. here goes. my audition tape for the weather
 channel. dearly beloved. we are gathered here today to have a fucking funeral
 for the outdoors. it had a good run, with all its creeks and clouds and shit.
 pretty great. now it's ten-thirty at night but still ninety-two asshole-sweating
 degrees and humid as fuck. everything is hot and slimy, like being a "borrower
 that got trapped inside a bottle of shampoo and then accidentally microwaved.
 you can see on my doppler radar that nothing is moving around out there
 because everything is probably dead. the only alive thing is the mosquito
 currently trying to drill a hole in my leg. no surprise that all the shitbag
 mosquitos are fine, since the thermostat of hell is always at the devil's
 preferred temperature. this forecast has gotten away from me a little, but in
 conclusion fuck the sun
 Source: robotmango
 124,122 notes
 A
fuck the sun

fuck the sun

Harry Potter, Memes, and Chocolate: EXPROPIADO Gobierno celebra aniversario de Harry Potter expropiando Ollivander's 26 JUNIO 2017 E LCHIGUIREB IP OL A R N E T El presidente Nicolás Maduro, confeso fanático de Harry Potter a pesar de jamás haberse leído los libros, anunció hoy la expropiación de la tienda de varitas mágicas Ollivander’s para conmemorar los 20 años de la saga. - Maduro, quien según su test de Pottermore quedó admitido en la casa de Elegguá de Hogwarts, explicó que “hoy cumple 20 años el primer libro de Harry Potter, que es casi la misma cantidad de tiempo que tiene la Revolución aguantando los ataques de la derecha apátrida. Por eso quisimos celebrarlo a lo grande, como Voldemort manda. Así que sacamos las cervezas de mantequilla, me puse mi túnica –que en realidad es una cortina porque no había talla XXL– me comí un paquete de grajeas de salsa rosada y de ahí nos fuimos por un pasaje secreto de Miraflores hacia el callejón Diagon. De allí llegamos hasta la tienda de Ollivander’s y la expropiamos. Así que de ahora en adelante el pueblo también podrá disfrutar de los beneficios del mundo mágico y recibirán en su caja CLAP una varita, además de lo que ya trae: ranas de chocolate mexicano, jugo de calabaza ruso y una dosis de Obliviate en gotas para que no recuerden como vivían antes… ¡Patria, socialismo y expellia…! ¿Cómo es que se dice Cilia?” finalizó el máximo mandatario mientras tomaba una poción multijugos para convertirse en Chávez.
Harry Potter, Memes, and Chocolate: EXPROPIADO
 Gobierno celebra aniversario
 de Harry Potter expropiando
 Ollivander's
 26 JUNIO 2017
 E LCHIGUIREB IP OL A R N E T
El presidente Nicolás Maduro, confeso fanático de Harry Potter a pesar de jamás haberse leído los libros, anunció hoy la expropiación de la tienda de varitas mágicas Ollivander’s para conmemorar los 20 años de la saga. - Maduro, quien según su test de Pottermore quedó admitido en la casa de Elegguá de Hogwarts, explicó que “hoy cumple 20 años el primer libro de Harry Potter, que es casi la misma cantidad de tiempo que tiene la Revolución aguantando los ataques de la derecha apátrida. Por eso quisimos celebrarlo a lo grande, como Voldemort manda. Así que sacamos las cervezas de mantequilla, me puse mi túnica –que en realidad es una cortina porque no había talla XXL– me comí un paquete de grajeas de salsa rosada y de ahí nos fuimos por un pasaje secreto de Miraflores hacia el callejón Diagon. De allí llegamos hasta la tienda de Ollivander’s y la expropiamos. Así que de ahora en adelante el pueblo también podrá disfrutar de los beneficios del mundo mágico y recibirán en su caja CLAP una varita, además de lo que ya trae: ranas de chocolate mexicano, jugo de calabaza ruso y una dosis de Obliviate en gotas para que no recuerden como vivían antes… ¡Patria, socialismo y expellia…! ¿Cómo es que se dice Cilia?” finalizó el máximo mandatario mientras tomaba una poción multijugos para convertirse en Chávez.

El presidente Nicolás Maduro, confeso fanático de Harry Potter a pesar de jamás haberse leído los libros, anunció hoy la expropiación de la ...