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old testament: prismatic-bell: the-invisible-self: pulmonary-poultry: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: mandalorianreynolds: kuriquinn: prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artbymoga: Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012… Good post OP Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty. WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice. 2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time. 3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy). So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.) Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers: Much appreciated. I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit …I sadly have more bullshit to report. “removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot. …goddamnit Let’s try this again I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold. Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post!
old testament: prismatic-bell:
the-invisible-self:

pulmonary-poultry:

the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:


mandalorianreynolds:

kuriquinn:

prismatic-bell:

the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:


prismatic-bell:


broken-bits-of-dreams:

prismatic-bell:


aiko-mori-hates-pedos:

artbymoga:
Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012…

Good post OP


Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty.


WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC

Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 

1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.

2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.

3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” 

Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. 

Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 

4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).


So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.)


Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers:








Much appreciated.


I love when scholarship and history debunks bullshit



…I sadly have more bullshit to report.

“removed for violating guidelines”, EVERY screenshot.



…goddamnit







Let’s try this again



I am horrified that @prismatic-bell keeps getting censored + this info is gold. 

Many thanks, @pulmonary-poultry. This isn’t the only Jewish post of mine that’s mysteriously stopped showing up in searches and/or vanished from my blog entirely, but it is the one I get the most requests to repost, so this saves me from having to rewrite the whole damned essay. @the-invisible-self, thanks for bringing it to my attention that someone was able to preserve the post!

prismatic-bell: the-invisible-self: pulmonary-poultry: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: mandalorianreynolds: kuriquinn: prismatic-bell...

old testament: wha!? Sl BAPU BAPTIST CHUR(H SUS DISGUST MyCHILD Dortyouatti? SaSin!God condemns W all! BRIAN heed to have a talk 0 CHRISTIANS CELEBRATE TH ISLAMIC TEMPUE I didnt die ona Cross for this BS RADICAL righte homoSexvality ar the last 2.000 yearsold. prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artbymoga: Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012… Good post OP Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty. WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice. 2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time. 3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy). So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.) Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers: Much appreciated.
old testament: wha!?
 Sl
 BAPU
 BAPTIST
 CHUR(H
 SUS
 DISGUST
 MyCHILD

 Dortyouatti?
 SaSin!God
 condemns W
 all!
 BRIAN
 heed to
 have a
 talk
 0

 CHRISTIANS
 CELEBRATE TH
 ISLAMIC TEMPUE
 I didnt
 die ona
 Cross for
 this BS
 RADICAL

 righte
 homoSexvality
 ar the last
 2.000 yearsold.
prismatic-bell:
the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99:


prismatic-bell:


broken-bits-of-dreams:

prismatic-bell:


aiko-mori-hates-pedos:

artbymoga:
Throwback to all these Jesus comics I drew in 2012…

Good post OP


Good post, OP, and if you ever decide to do another may I please suggest “NOT IN HEBREW IT DOESN’T” as a punchline? So much of the Old Testament is HORRIFICALLY translated from the Tanakh, it drives me batty.


WAIT WAIT WHAT DOES IT SAY?????? I NEED TO LIKE,, DESTROY MI MUM FOR BEING REALLY HOMOPHOBIC

Okay, so, strictly speaking, the infamous Leviticus 18:22 does say “forbidden.” Here’s the thing: 

1) The word translated as “forbidden” is “toevah.” While that translation isn’t … wrong, it’s sort of like saying “McMansion” means “really big house.” There are a lot of connotations in that word. The specific issue with toevah is that we … sort of … don’t know anymore exactly what it meant. Based on context, it seems likely that the word referred to something ritually forbidden. This part of Torah was written not only as a guide for future generations, but also to say “so, look around, see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT.“ Thus, if we interpret “toevah” to mean something that’s forbidden to do as a ritual before G-d, then the verse says nothing whatsoever about Adam and Steve and their two kids and their dog–it’s saying you shouldn’t have sex with another man in the Temple as a sacrifice.

2) Following the same “this is ritually forbidden” logic of toevah, this verse may also be interpreted as “don’t do sex magic,” which was a thing in. Like. A lot of fucking cultures at the time.

3) Hebrew is a highly gendered language, and the grammatical gender in this verse is really really weird. One of the “men” in this verse is given female grammar. Why? Who fucking knows, man, this isn’t the only grammatical oddity in Torah. (There are also places where G-d is referred to as plural, and also as female.) One suggestion is that this is a way of creating a diminutive–that is, that the verse should be read as “a man should not lie with a boy.” Now, it’s worth noting that modern secular scholarship has concluded the written Torah was written down around the 6th century BCE, and most non-Orthodox Jewish scholars are like “yeah, all things considered, that sounds pretty legit.” 

Do you know what else was happening around the 6th century BCE? What laypeople tend to mean when they say “ancient Greece” was happening. 

Do you know what happened a lot in that time period in Greece? Dudes forming relationships with younger boys, like ages 10-15, and using them for sex in exchange for financial gifts, mentorship, etc. While we don’t know just how young some of these younger boys may have been, we do know some were prepubescent. In light of this, and also something I mentioned under the first point–”see your neighbors? DON’T DO THAT,” if this verse is interpreted to say “a man should not lie with a boy,” then it’s pretty clearly “my dudes, my fellows, my lads, don’t be fucking pedophiles.” 

4) Because of the grammar I mentioned in #3, it’s also possible that “should not lie with a man as with a woman” is actually referring to a place, not an abstract personhood: a man shouldn’t have sex with another man in a woman’s bed. In the time period, a woman’s bed was sort of like–that was her place, her safe sanctuary. It was also a ritually holy place where babies were made. By having sex in her bed, you’re violating her safe space (and also introducing a man who may not be a male relative, thus forcing her into breaking the laws of modesty). If this verse is read this way, then it should be taken to mean “don’t sexually violate a woman’s safety and modesty.”5) And as an offshoot of #4, this may be a second verse relating to infidelity. Which woman’s bed is any random dude in 600 BCE most likely to have access to? His wife’s. But laws were administered differently based on whether the person they pertained to was slave or free, male or female, and so on–thus, a man committing adultery with a woman would be treated differently than man committing adultery with a man (especially because the latter would carry no chance of an illegitimate pregnancy).


So you’ll note, there are a lot of ways to read this verse, and only a one-to-one translation with no cultural awareness produces “being gay is wrong, all of the time”.(You’ll also notice the word “abomination” is nowhere to be found. That’s like … a straight-up fiction created for who only knows what reason.)


Apparently tumblr mobile doesn’t want to show @prismatic-bell ’s long and in-depth essay, so here’s the screenshots, because it still shows up on mobile browsers:








Much appreciated.

prismatic-bell: the-spoopy-ghost-of-raejin99: prismatic-bell: broken-bits-of-dreams: prismatic-bell: aiko-mori-hates-pedos: artby...

old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It. 6 hrs e Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read) GENESIS God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun Adam & Eve: Okay Satan: You should do the thing Adam & Eve: Okay God: What happened!? Adam & Eve: We did the thing God: Guys THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT God: You are my people, and you should not do the things People: We wont do the things God: Good People: We did the things. God: Guys THE GOSPELS JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore Healed people: Okay! Thank you! Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking Jesus: I have never done the things Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things Pilate: Did you do the things? Jesus: No. Pilate: He didn't do the things. Other people: Kill him anyway Pilate: Okay Jesus: Guys.... PAUL'S LETTERS People: We did the things. Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things People: Okay PAUL'S LETTERS PART II People: We did the things again Paul: Guys REVELATION John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things. THE END Unlike Comment Share and 7 others like this. That still was dr, dude 6 hrs Like 1 5 mins Like Write a comment. epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible
old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One
 Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It.
 6 hrs e
 Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read)
 GENESIS
 God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 Satan: You should do the thing
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 God: What happened!?
 Adam & Eve: We did the thing
 God: Guys
 THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
 God: You are my people, and you should not do the things
 People: We wont do the things
 God: Good
 People: We did the things.
 God: Guys
 THE GOSPELS
 JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the
 Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore
 Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
 Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does
 the things when no one is looking
 Jesus: I have never done the things
 Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things
 Pilate: Did you do the things?
 Jesus: No.
 Pilate: He didn't do the things.
 Other people: Kill him anyway
 Pilate: Okay
 Jesus: Guys....
 PAUL'S LETTERS
 People: We did the things.
 Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop
 doing the things
 People: Okay
 PAUL'S LETTERS PART II
 People: We did the things again
 Paul: Guys
 REVELATION
 John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the
 things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
 THE END
 Unlike Comment Share
 and 7 others like this.
 That still was
 dr, dude
 6 hrs Like 1
 5 mins Like
 Write a comment.
epicjohndoe:

TL;DR Version Of The Bible

epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible

old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It. 6 hrs e Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read) GENESIS God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun Adam & Eve: Okay Satan: You should do the thing Adam & Eve: Okay God: What happened!? Adam & Eve: We did the thing God: Guys THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT God: You are my people, and you should not do the things People: We wont do the things God: Good People: We did the things. God: Guys THE GOSPELS JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore Healed people: Okay! Thank you! Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking Jesus: I have never done the things Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things Pilate: Did you do the things? Jesus: No. Pilate: He didn't do the things. Other people: Kill him anyway Pilate: Okay Jesus: Guys.... PAUL'S LETTERS People: We did the things. Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things People: Okay PAUL'S LETTERS PART II People: We did the things again Paul: Guys REVELATION John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things. THE END Unlike Comment Share and 7 others like this. That still was dr, dude 6 hrs Like 1 5 mins Like Write a comment. epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible
old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One
 Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It.
 6 hrs e
 Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read)
 GENESIS
 God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 Satan: You should do the thing
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 God: What happened!?
 Adam & Eve: We did the thing
 God: Guys
 THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
 God: You are my people, and you should not do the things
 People: We wont do the things
 God: Good
 People: We did the things.
 God: Guys
 THE GOSPELS
 JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the
 Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore
 Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
 Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does
 the things when no one is looking
 Jesus: I have never done the things
 Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things
 Pilate: Did you do the things?
 Jesus: No.
 Pilate: He didn't do the things.
 Other people: Kill him anyway
 Pilate: Okay
 Jesus: Guys....
 PAUL'S LETTERS
 People: We did the things.
 Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop
 doing the things
 People: Okay
 PAUL'S LETTERS PART II
 People: We did the things again
 Paul: Guys
 REVELATION
 John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the
 things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
 THE END
 Unlike Comment Share
 and 7 others like this.
 That still was
 dr, dude
 6 hrs Like 1
 5 mins Like
 Write a comment.
epicjohndoe:

TL;DR Version Of The Bible

epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible

old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It. 6 hrs e Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read) GENESIS God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun Adam & Eve: Okay Satan: You should do the thing Adam & Eve: Okay God: What happened!? Adam & Eve: We did the thing God: Guys THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT God: You are my people, and you should not do the things People: We wont do the things God: Good People: We did the things. God: Guys THE GOSPELS JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore Healed people: Okay! Thank you! Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking Jesus: I have never done the things Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things Pilate: Did you do the things? Jesus: No. Pilate: He didn't do the things. Other people: Kill him anyway Pilate: Okay Jesus: Guys.... PAUL'S LETTERS People: We did the things. Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things People: Okay PAUL'S LETTERS PART II People: We did the things again Paul: Guys REVELATION John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things. THE END Unlike Comment Share and 7 others like this. That still was dr, dude 6 hrs Like 1 5 mins Like Write a comment. epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible
old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One
 Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It.
 6 hrs e
 Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read)
 GENESIS
 God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 Satan: You should do the thing
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 God: What happened!?
 Adam & Eve: We did the thing
 God: Guys
 THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
 God: You are my people, and you should not do the things
 People: We wont do the things
 God: Good
 People: We did the things.
 God: Guys
 THE GOSPELS
 JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the
 Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore
 Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
 Other people: Weve never seen him do the things, but he probably does
 the things when no one is looking
 Jesus: I have never done the things
 Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things
 Pilate: Did you do the things?
 Jesus: No.
 Pilate: He didn't do the things.
 Other people: Kill him anyway
 Pilate: Okay
 Jesus: Guys....
 PAUL'S LETTERS
 People: We did the things.
 Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop
 doing the things
 People: Okay
 PAUL'S LETTERS PART II
 People: We did the things again
 Paul: Guys
 REVELATION
 John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the
 things. In the meantime, stop doing the things.
 THE END
 Unlike Comment Share
 and 7 others like this.
 That still was
 dr, dude
 6 hrs Like 1
 5 mins Like
 Write a comment.
epicjohndoe:

TL;DR Version Of The Bible

epicjohndoe: TL;DR Version Of The Bible

old testament: I would like to read to you what The Jesus said abôut homosexuality I'd like to, but he never said anything abou it mediapathic nextyearsgirl: This is an enormous chain and I'm sorry, but I need to say this: The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as the rules the Hebrews needed to follow in order to be righteous, to atone for the sih of Adam and Eve and to be able to get into Heaven. That is also why they were required to make sacrifices, because it was part of the appeasement for Original Sin According to Christian theology, when Jesus came from Heaven, it was for the express purpose of sacrificing himself on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. His sacrifice was supposed to be the ultimate act that would free us from the former laws and regulations and allow us to enter Heaven by acting in his image. That is why he sald "it is finished" when he died on the cross. That is why Christians don't have to circumcise their sons (god's covenant with Jacob), that is why they don't have to perform animal sacrifice, or grow out their forelocks, or follow any of the other laws of Leviticus. When you quote Leviticus as god's law and say they are rules we must follow because they are what god or Jesus wants us to do, what you are really saying, as a Christian, is that Christ's sacrifice on the cross was invalid. He died in vain because you believe we are stil beholden to the old laws. That is what you, a self-professed good Christian, are saying to your god and his son, that their plan for your salvation wasn't good enough for you. So maybe actually read the thing before you start quoting it, because the implications of your actions go a lot deeper than you think. This is a theological point that doesn't come up often enough So is that why we don’t sacrifice lambs anymore?
old testament: I would like to read to you what
 The Jesus said abôut homosexuality
 I'd like to, but he never
 said anything abou it
 mediapathic
 nextyearsgirl:
 This is an enormous chain and I'm sorry, but I need to say this:
 The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as the rules the
 Hebrews needed to follow in order to be righteous, to atone for the
 sih of Adam and Eve and to be able to get into Heaven. That is also
 why they were required to make sacrifices, because it was part of
 the appeasement for Original Sin
 According to Christian theology, when Jesus came from Heaven, it
 was for the express purpose of sacrificing himself on the cross so
 that our sins may be forgiven. His sacrifice was supposed to be the
 ultimate act that would free us from the former laws and regulations
 and allow us to enter Heaven by acting in his image. That is why he
 sald "it is finished" when he died on the cross. That is why Christians
 don't have to circumcise their sons (god's covenant with Jacob), that
 is why they don't have to perform animal sacrifice, or grow out their
 forelocks, or follow any of the other laws of Leviticus.
 When you quote Leviticus as god's law and say they are rules we
 must follow because they are what god or Jesus wants us to do,
 what you are really saying, as a Christian, is that Christ's sacrifice on
 the cross was invalid. He died in vain because you believe we are stil
 beholden to the old laws. That is what you, a self-professed good
 Christian, are saying to your god and his son, that their plan for your
 salvation wasn't good enough for you.
 So maybe actually read the thing before you start quoting it, because
 the implications of your actions go a lot deeper than you think.
 This is a theological point that doesn't come up often enough
So is that why we don’t sacrifice lambs anymore?

So is that why we don’t sacrifice lambs anymore?

old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It. 6 hrs.e Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read) GENESIS God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun. Adam & Eve: Okay Satan: You should do the thing Adam & Eve: Okay God: What happened!? Adam & Eve: We did the thing God: Guys THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT God: You are my people, and you should not do the things People: We won't do the things God: Good People: We did the things. God: Guys.... THE GOSPELS JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore Healed people: Okay! Thank you! Other people: We ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does the things when no one is looking Jesus:I have never done the things Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things Pilate: Did you do the things? Jesus: No Pilate: He didnt do the things. Other people: Kill him anyway Pilate: Okay Jesus: Guys PAUL'S LETTERS People: We did the things. Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop doing the things People: Okay PAUL'S LETTERS PART II People: We did the things again Paul: Guys REVELATION John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the things. In the meantime, stop doing the things THE END Unlike Comment Share and 7 others like this. That still was t.dr, dude 6hrs . Like 5 mins Like Write a comment.. <p>The Too Long, Didn’t Read Version.</p>
old testament: The Entire Bible Explained In One
 Facebook Post. This Guy Nails It.
 6 hrs.e
 Holy Bible: the TL DR version (too long; didnt read)
 GENESIS
 God: All right, you two, don't do the one thing. Other than that, have fun.
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 Satan: You should do the thing
 Adam & Eve: Okay
 God: What happened!?
 Adam & Eve: We did the thing
 God: Guys
 THE REST OF THE OLD TESTAMENT
 God: You are my people, and you should not do the things
 People: We won't do the things
 God: Good
 People: We did the things.
 God: Guys....
 THE GOSPELS
 JesusI am the Son of God, and even though you have done the things, the
 Father and I still love you and want you to live. Don't do the things anymore
 Healed people: Okay! Thank you!
 Other people: We ve never seen him do the things, but he probably does
 the things when no one is looking
 Jesus:I have never done the things
 Other people: We're going to put you on trial for doing the things
 Pilate: Did you do the things?
 Jesus: No
 Pilate: He didnt do the things.
 Other people: Kill him anyway
 Pilate: Okay
 Jesus: Guys
 PAUL'S LETTERS
 People: We did the things.
 Paul: Jesus still loves you, and because you love Him, you have to stop
 doing the things
 People: Okay
 PAUL'S LETTERS PART II
 People: We did the things again
 Paul: Guys
 REVELATION
 John: When Jesus comes back, there will be no more people who do the
 things. In the meantime, stop doing the things
 THE END
 Unlike Comment Share
 and 7 others like this.
 That still was t.dr, dude
 6hrs . Like
 5 mins Like
 Write a comment..
<p>The Too Long, Didn’t Read Version.</p>

<p>The Too Long, Didn’t Read Version.</p>

old testament: "Be good to orphans and the needy. Speak nicely to people And help the poor." The Quran 02:83 3) www.QuranicQuotes.com <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://awaiting-my-escape.tumblr.com/post/139311352590">awaiting-my-escape</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139310461404">proudblackconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://islamisforeveryone.tumblr.com/post/139260369646">islamisforeveryone</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>ISLAM</p> </blockquote> <p>Gee, that does sound nice!  I wonder what else chapter 2 says?</p> <blockquote> <p>And fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you but be not aggressive. Surely Allah loves not the aggressors.</p> <p>And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out, and persecution is worse than slaughter. And fight not with them at the Sacred Mosque until they fight with you in it; so if they fight you (in it), slay them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers. (Quran 02:191-192)</p> </blockquote> <p>Oh.</p> </blockquote> <p>Okay but to be fair the Christian bible says similar in the old testament when the Jews were driving everyone else out of the promised land</p> <p>Honestly? No religion is perfect, and I don’t believe any one is completely horrid. Only the God of each religion is perfect.</p> </blockquote> <p>I literally just responded to this idea that this is comparable to the OT: <a href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139311321629/christopherhitch-proudblackconservative">http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139311321629/christopherhitch-proudblackconservative</a></p>
old testament: "Be good to orphans and the needy.
 Speak nicely to people
 And help the poor."
 The Quran 02:83
 3)
 www.QuranicQuotes.com
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://awaiting-my-escape.tumblr.com/post/139311352590">awaiting-my-escape</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139310461404">proudblackconservative</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://islamisforeveryone.tumblr.com/post/139260369646">islamisforeveryone</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>ISLAM</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Gee, that does sound nice!  I wonder what else chapter 2 says?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>And fight in the way of Allah against those who fight against you but be not aggressive. Surely Allah loves not the aggressors.</p>
<p>And kill them wherever you find them, and drive them out from where they drove you out, and persecution is worse than slaughter. And fight not with them at the Sacred Mosque until they fight with you in it; so if they fight you (in it), slay them. Such is the recompense of the disbelievers. (Quran 02:191-192)</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Oh.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Okay but to be fair the Christian bible says similar in the old testament when the Jews were driving everyone else out of the promised land</p>
<p>Honestly? No religion is perfect, and I don’t believe any one is completely horrid. Only the God of each religion is perfect.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>I literally just responded to this idea that this is comparable to the OT: <a href="http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139311321629/christopherhitch-proudblackconservative">http://proudblackconservative.tumblr.com/post/139311321629/christopherhitch-proudblackconservative</a></p>

<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://awaiting-my-escape.tumblr.com/post/139311352590">awaiting-my-escape</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a cl...

old testament: d like to, but he never said anvthing aboutt nextyearsgirl: This is an enormous chain and I’m sorry, but I need to say this: The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as the rules the Hebrews needed to follow in order to be righteous, to atone for the sin of Adam and Eve and to be able to get into Heaven. That is also why they were required to make sacrifices, because it was part of the appeasement for Original Sin. According to Christian theology, when Jesus came from Heaven, it was for the express purpose of sacrificing himself on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. His sacrifice was supposed to be the ultimate act that would free us from the former laws and regulations and allow us to enter Heaven by acting in his image. That is why he said “it is finished” when he died on the cross. That is why Christians don’t have to circumcise their sons (god’s covenant with Jacob), that is why they don’t have to perform animal sacrifice, or grow out their forelocks, or follow any of the other laws of Leviticus. When you quote Leviticus as god’s law and say they are rules we must follow because they are what god or Jesus wants us to do, what you are really saying, as a Christian, is that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was invalid. He died in vain because you believe we are still beholden to the old laws. That is what you, a self-professed good Christian, are saying to your god and his son, that their plan for your salvation wasn’t good enough for you. So maybe actually read the thing before you start quoting it, because the implications of your actions go a lot deeper than you think.
old testament: d like to, but he never
 said anvthing aboutt
nextyearsgirl:
This is an enormous chain and I’m sorry, but I need to say this:
The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as the rules the Hebrews needed to follow in order to be righteous, to atone for the sin of Adam and Eve and to be able to get into Heaven. That is also why they were required to make sacrifices, because it was part of the appeasement for Original Sin.
According to Christian theology, when Jesus came from Heaven, it was for the express purpose of sacrificing himself on the cross so that our sins may be forgiven. His sacrifice was supposed to be the ultimate act that would free us from the former laws and regulations and allow us to enter Heaven by acting in his image. That is why he said “it is finished” when he died on the cross. That is why Christians don’t have to circumcise their sons (god’s covenant with Jacob), that is why they don’t have to perform animal sacrifice, or grow out their forelocks, or follow any of the other laws of Leviticus.
When you quote Leviticus as god’s law and say they are rules we must follow because they are what god or Jesus wants us to do, what you are really saying, as a Christian, is that Christ’s sacrifice on the cross was invalid. He died in vain because you believe we are still beholden to the old laws. That is what you, a self-professed good Christian, are saying to your god and his son, that their plan for your salvation wasn’t good enough for you.
So maybe actually read the thing before you start quoting it, because the implications of your actions go a lot deeper than you think.

nextyearsgirl: This is an enormous chain and I’m sorry, but I need to say this: The laws in the Old Testament were set forth by god as th...

old testament: themountainwillmove: cutevictim Jesus was a homeless Palestinian anarchist who held protests at oppressive churches, advocated for universal health care and redistribution of wealth, before being arrested for terrorism, tortured and executed for crimes against the state, now go ahead and explain to me why he'd vote conservative. l'll wait. THIS <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://wingedphantomthief.tumblr.com/post/87755317014/okay-like-i-see-where-youre-coming-from-but">wingedphantomthief</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Okay, like, I see where you’re coming from, but some of these facts are taking things a bit out of context? And when making a point about something, the facts should be right.</p> <p><strong>Jesus wasn’t <em>really</em> homeless</strong>. It is suggested <a href="http://ntweblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/did-jesus-have-house-in-capernaum.html" title="Have an article">he could have had his own house</a> since he was a carpenter up until he turned 30 and began his ministry. And he was a Rabbi. And according to the culture, when he wandered there would be homes open to him and his disciples to stay at when they could or were near friends. Especially considering his popularity at the start of his ministry. (See <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+8%3A14-15&amp;version=NIV" title="Matthew 8:14-15">Peter’s mother-in-law</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+11" title="John 11">Lazareth</a> for a couple examples.)</p> <p><strong>I… don’t remember anything about him being an anarchist…</strong> he said things such as “<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+12%3A13-17&amp;version=NIV" title="Mark 12:13-17">Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s</a>&ldquo; talking about giving taxes and made no attempt to change the government that I remember. He was mostly concerned with the dealings inside the church and the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. In fact, a lot of people thought he came to bring down the Roman government and were super excited, but that wasn’t his mission. It was to spread his ministry and die at the cross before rising again. He really didn’t do anything about the government. <strong><a href="http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-respect-20-helpful-quotes/" title="List of Verses">The Bible actually says a lot about respecting and obeying</a></strong> (as long as it doesn’t contradict God’s commands)<strong> authority</strong> - family or government.</p> <p><strong>Protests?</strong> You mean that one time he got upset at a temple because the leaders were forcing people to buy their animals for sacrifices instead of being allowed to use their own, therefore using God as a way to make money? It wasn’t really a protest. It was more him flipping tables and throwing people out from righteous anger. And the most “protesting” he did was trying to educate the leaders of the church using the Old Testament manuscripts. I don’t remember another time he organized a legit protest… against anyone…</p> <p><strong>Advocated for universal health care and redistribution of wealth?</strong> I don’t remember that topic in his ministry. I mean, he healed people, but that wasn’t the point of his ministry, and at times he even refused to keep healing people because that’s all they cared about and they cared nothing about what he was teaching. He’s also never seen asking for money from people while traveling.</p> <p><strong>If you’re referring to letters of the epistles</strong>, those were telling the church to mostly look after other believers first, and that it should be because they want to. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+4%3A33-35&amp;version=NIV" title="Acts 4:33-35"><em><strong>It would be the individual’s responsibility</strong></em></a> to pay for other’s medical needs and well-being, <em><strong>not the governments</strong></em>. And the Bible only supports redistribution of wealth from what people offer to give. Not what they’re forced to give. The Bible cares largely about a person’s heart over their actions. Also, it wasn’t the wealthy who gave. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+8%3A1-2&amp;version=NIV" title="2 Corinthians 8:1-2">It was mostly those who were already poor but wanted to help</a> that were “distributing their wealth”.</p> <p><strong>He wasn’t really arrested for terrorism</strong>. He was also not executed for crimes against the state. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+27%3A11-26&amp;version=NKJV" title="Pilate">The political leaders</a> he was sent to for judging saw him guilty of nothing, but the Jewish people didn’t like him (as he claimed to be God and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+26%3A57-67&amp;version=NKJV" title="Matthew 26:57-67">that was blasphemy</a> and he was challenging their hypocrisy and understanding of the scripture, showing them it was about the heart rather than the law) and were a large population in the empire, so the leaders didn’t want to make them upset, so they let him be executed to stop them from getting upset at Rome. It was the people that wanted him killed, not the political leaders. They actually thought he was a pretty cool dude. </p> <p><strong>I’m not saying those aren’t problems today that need to be addressed</strong>, but using Jesus as an example might not be the best choice. He didn’t come so much for physical needs as much as spiritual ones, and would be willing to let you have a terrible physical life if it would bring you closer to God and depending on him. After all, he <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10%3A19-22&amp;version=ESV">told his believers they would have a sucky life</a> since he did, and he’s God. He was pretty radical, but not in those ways.</p> </blockquote> <p>LOLZ at people rewriting the story of Jesus to for a progressive narrative. I highly doubt Jesus would have ascribed himself to a political party at all. That&rsquo;s not really what he was about.</p>
old testament: themountainwillmove:
 cutevictim
 Jesus was a homeless Palestinian anarchist who held protests at
 oppressive churches, advocated for universal health care and
 redistribution of wealth, before being arrested for terrorism, tortured and
 executed for crimes against the state, now go ahead and explain to me
 why he'd vote conservative. l'll wait.
 THIS
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://wingedphantomthief.tumblr.com/post/87755317014/okay-like-i-see-where-youre-coming-from-but">wingedphantomthief</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Okay, like, I see where you’re coming from, but some of these facts are taking things a bit out of context? And when making a point about something, the facts should be right.</p>
<p><strong>Jesus wasn’t <em>really</em> homeless</strong>. It is suggested <a href="http://ntweblog.blogspot.com/2006/03/did-jesus-have-house-in-capernaum.html" title="Have an article">he could have had his own house</a> since he was a carpenter up until he turned 30 and began his ministry. And he was a Rabbi. And according to the culture, when he wandered there would be homes open to him and his disciples to stay at when they could or were near friends. Especially considering his popularity at the start of his ministry. (See <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=matthew+8%3A14-15&amp;version=NIV" title="Matthew 8:14-15">Peter’s mother-in-law</a> and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+11" title="John 11">Lazareth</a> for a couple examples.)</p>
<p><strong>I… don’t remember anything about him being an anarchist…</strong> he said things such as “<a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Mark+12%3A13-17&amp;version=NIV" title="Mark 12:13-17">Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s</a>&ldquo; talking about giving taxes and made no attempt to change the government that I remember. He was mostly concerned with the dealings inside the church and the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. In fact, a lot of people thought he came to bring down the Roman government and were super excited, but that wasn’t his mission. It was to spread his ministry and die at the cross before rising again. He really didn’t do anything about the government. <strong><a href="http://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/bible-verses-about-respect-20-helpful-quotes/" title="List of Verses">The Bible actually says a lot about respecting and obeying</a></strong> (as long as it doesn’t contradict God’s commands)<strong> authority</strong> - family or government.</p>
<p><strong>Protests?</strong> You mean that one time he got upset at a temple because the leaders were forcing people to buy their animals for sacrifices instead of being allowed to use their own, therefore using God as a way to make money? It wasn’t really a protest. It was more him flipping tables and throwing people out from righteous anger. And the most “protesting” he did was trying to educate the leaders of the church using the Old Testament manuscripts. I don’t remember another time he organized a legit protest… against anyone…</p>
<p><strong>Advocated for universal health care and redistribution of wealth?</strong> I don’t remember that topic in his ministry. I mean, he healed people, but that wasn’t the point of his ministry, and at times he even refused to keep healing people because that’s all they cared about and they cared nothing about what he was teaching. He’s also never seen asking for money from people while traveling.</p>
<p><strong>If you’re referring to letters of the epistles</strong>, those were telling the church to mostly look after other believers first, and that it should be because they want to. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=acts+4%3A33-35&amp;version=NIV" title="Acts 4:33-35"><em><strong>It would be the individual’s responsibility</strong></em></a> to pay for other’s medical needs and well-being, <em><strong>not the governments</strong></em>. And the Bible only supports redistribution of wealth from what people offer to give. Not what they’re forced to give. The Bible cares largely about a person’s heart over their actions. Also, it wasn’t the wealthy who gave. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=2+Corinthians+8%3A1-2&amp;version=NIV" title="2 Corinthians 8:1-2">It was mostly those who were already poor but wanted to help</a> that were “distributing their wealth”.</p>
<p><strong>He wasn’t really arrested for terrorism</strong>. He was also not executed for crimes against the state. <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+27%3A11-26&amp;version=NKJV" title="Pilate">The political leaders</a> he was sent to for judging saw him guilty of nothing, but the Jewish people didn’t like him (as he claimed to be God and <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+26%3A57-67&amp;version=NKJV" title="Matthew 26:57-67">that was blasphemy</a> and he was challenging their hypocrisy and understanding of the scripture, showing them it was about the heart rather than the law) and were a large population in the empire, so the leaders didn’t want to make them upset, so they let him be executed to stop them from getting upset at Rome. It was the people that wanted him killed, not the political leaders. They actually thought he was a pretty cool dude. </p>
<p><strong>I’m not saying those aren’t problems today that need to be addressed</strong>, but using Jesus as an example might not be the best choice. He didn’t come so much for physical needs as much as spiritual ones, and would be willing to let you have a terrible physical life if it would bring you closer to God and depending on him. After all, he <a href="http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+10%3A19-22&amp;version=ESV">told his believers they would have a sucky life</a> since he did, and he’s God. He was pretty radical, but not in those ways.</p>
</blockquote>

<p>LOLZ at people rewriting the story of Jesus to for a progressive narrative. I highly doubt Jesus would have ascribed himself to a political party at all. That&rsquo;s not really what he was about.</p>

<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://wingedphantomthief.tumblr.com/post/87755317014/okay-like-i-see-where-youre-coming-from-but">winged...

old testament: F GOD HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYONE... AND A FETUSISAPERSON.. CAN'TABORTION JUST BE THEIR PLAN if god has plan for everyone and a fetus is a person-Philosoraptor 1.3k like this do you? f Like Follow quickmeme now fke6l6.981 followers FLike 61k 16 comments Add a comment No, because that would mean that God planned a murder. He wouldn't do that. Reply 2 Like Follow Post July 13 at 1:49am DePaul University Except that one time where he planned the murder of 42 children by summoning 2 bears to maul them to death for making fun of a bald man's head in the bible. (2 Kings 2:24) Do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like? Reply Like 2 seconds ago <p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/102055279335/sarahseemssilly-theycallmethemoose" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sarahseemssilly.tumblr.com/post/70316750630/theycallmethemoose-everkings">sarahseemssilly</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theycallmethemoose.tumblr.com/post/69967032783/everkings-gildatheplant-pragtastic">theycallmethemoose</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://everkings.tumblr.com/post/69596081842/gildatheplant-pragtastic">everkings</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gildatheplant.tumblr.com/post/68949267303/pragtastic-fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey">gildatheplant</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pragtastic.tumblr.com/post/68926052835/fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey-leomoriat">pragtastic</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey.tumblr.com/post/58074260008">fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://leomoriat.tumblr.com/post/58064491424/poesdaughter-or-yknow-that-thing-called">leomoriat</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://poesdaughter.tumblr.com/post/57985211774/or-yknow-that-thing-called-passover">poesdaughter</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”</p> </blockquote> <p>Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.</p> </blockquote> <p>90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums</p> </blockquote> <p>Are we not going to mention Jesus?</p> </blockquote> <p>Nailed it.</p> </blockquote> <p>*wheeze* </p> </blockquote> <p>Oh my god.</p> </blockquote> <p><em><strong>Nailed it.</strong></em></p> </blockquote> <p>Actually, God didn’t put a curse on those boys in 2 Kings 2:24, the guy who actually got called baldy put a curse on them:</p> <p>2 Kings 2:23 - From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”</p> <p>2 Kings 2:24 - He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen141">ORD</span>. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.</p> <p>He brought the curse on them, not God.</p> <p>The Genesis flood was also due to worldwide, widespread evil:</p> <p>Genesis 6:5 - The L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.</p> <p>Wait a minute - so humans were only doing evil things all the time?  So murder, rape, child abuse, rampant wars, etc. was all going on, honestly you can just kind of use your imagination to imagine just how evil they had to have been to warrant mass flooding.</p> <p>These other passages in this chapter of Genesis also give some context to the situation:</p> <p>Genesis 6:11-13</p> <p>Now <em>the earth was corrupt </em>in God’s sight and <em>was full of violence</em>.</p> <p>God saw how <em>corrupt the earth had become</em>, for <em>all</em> the people on earth had <em>corrupted their ways.</em></p> <p>So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.</p> <p><br/><br/></p> <p>Because God is a God of love, He’s not going to sit around and let people hurt each other and do evil things to each other.  Anyway, as the story goes, Noah and his family who did their best to do good in the world despite all of the corruption around them, they got saved via the ark.  And then at the end of the story of Noah’s Ark, an interesting thing happens:</p> <p>Genesis 8:20-22 -</p> <p>&ldquo;Then Noah built an altar to the L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen117">ORD</span> and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it.</p> <p>&quot;The L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen138">ORD</span> smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: ‘Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even thought every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.</p> <p>&lsquo;As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.'”</p> <p>I’m yawning majorly over here.  When are people going to stop attacking my faith just because they don’t know how to contextualize a piece of text?  Do you seriously think no Christian has ever seriously read the Bible?</p> <blockquote> <p>EDIT: Also the “children” in 2 Kings 2:24 were actually 42 young men.</p> </blockquote></blockquote>
old testament: F GOD HAS A PLAN FOR EVERYONE...
 AND A FETUSISAPERSON..
 CAN'TABORTION JUST BE
 THEIR PLAN
 if god has
 plan for everyone and a fetus is a person-Philosoraptor
 1.3k like this
 do you?
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 Follow quickmeme now fke6l6.981 followers
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 Add a comment
 No, because that would mean that God planned a murder. He wouldn't do that.
 Reply 2 Like Follow Post July 13 at 1:49am
 DePaul University
 Except that one time where he planned the murder of 42 children by summoning 2 bears to
 maul them to death for making fun of a bald man's head in the bible. (2 Kings 2:24)
 Do you read the bible or just pretend it says whatever you like?
 Reply Like 2 seconds ago
<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/102055279335/sarahseemssilly-theycallmethemoose" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://sarahseemssilly.tumblr.com/post/70316750630/theycallmethemoose-everkings">sarahseemssilly</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://theycallmethemoose.tumblr.com/post/69967032783/everkings-gildatheplant-pragtastic">theycallmethemoose</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://everkings.tumblr.com/post/69596081842/gildatheplant-pragtastic">everkings</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://gildatheplant.tumblr.com/post/68949267303/pragtastic-fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey">gildatheplant</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://pragtastic.tumblr.com/post/68926052835/fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey-leomoriat">pragtastic</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey.tumblr.com/post/58074260008">fifty-shades-of-gandalf-the-grey</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://leomoriat.tumblr.com/post/58064491424/poesdaughter-or-yknow-that-thing-called">leomoriat</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://poesdaughter.tumblr.com/post/57985211774/or-yknow-that-thing-called-passover">poesdaughter</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Or, y’know, that thing called “Passover.”</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Or the whole thing with Noah’s Ark where he killed off everything in the world except Noah and his family, and two of every animal. Y’know, no big deal. Just millions of people.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>90% of the Old Testament is about God killing people in temper tantrums</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Are we not going to mention Jesus?</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Nailed it.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>*wheeze* </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Oh my god.</p>
</blockquote>
<p><em><strong>Nailed it.</strong></em></p>
</blockquote>
<p>Actually, God didn’t put a curse on those boys in 2 Kings 2:24, the guy who actually got called baldy put a curse on them:</p>
<p>2 Kings 2:23 - From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!”</p>
<p>2 Kings 2:24 - He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen141">ORD</span>. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.</p>
<p>He brought the curse on them, not God.</p>
<p>The Genesis flood was also due to worldwide, widespread evil:</p>
<p>Genesis 6:5 - The L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> saw how great the wickedness of the human race had become on the earth, and that every inclination of the thoughts of the human heart was only evil all the time.</p>
<p>Wait a minute - so humans were only doing evil things all the time?  So murder, rape, child abuse, rampant wars, etc. was all going on, honestly you can just kind of use your imagination to imagine just how evil they had to have been to warrant mass flooding.</p>
<p>These other passages in this chapter of Genesis also give some context to the situation:</p>
<p>Genesis 6:11-13</p>
<p>Now <em>the earth was corrupt </em>in God’s sight and <em>was full of violence</em>.</p>
<p>God saw how <em>corrupt the earth had become</em>, for <em>all</em> the people on earth had <em>corrupted their ways.</em></p>
<p>So God said to Noah, “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them. I am surely going to destroy both them and the earth.</p>
<p><br/><br/></p>
<p>Because God is a God of love, He’s not going to sit around and let people hurt each other and do evil things to each other.  Anyway, as the story goes, Noah and his family who did their best to do good in the world despite all of the corruption around them, they got saved via the ark.  And then at the end of the story of Noah’s Ark, an interesting thing happens:</p>
<p>Genesis 8:20-22 -</p>
<p>&ldquo;Then Noah built an altar to the L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen117">ORD</span> and, taking some of all the clean animals and clean birds, he sacrificed burnt offerings on it.</p>
<p>&quot;The L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen138">ORD</span> smelled the pleasing aroma and said in his heart: ‘Never again will I curse the ground because of humans, even thought every inclination of the human heart is evil from childhood. And never again will I destroy all living creatures, as I have done.</p>
<p>&lsquo;As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease.'”</p>
<p>I’m yawning majorly over here.  When are people going to stop attacking my faith just because they don’t know how to contextualize a piece of text?  Do you seriously think no Christian has ever seriously read the Bible?</p>
<blockquote>
<p>EDIT: Also the “children” in 2 Kings 2:24 were actually 42 young men.</p>
</blockquote></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/102055279335/sarahseemssilly-theycallmethemoose" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p> <bloc...

old testament: Name the proper method of murdering children, according to the bible. FAMILY STONE THEM TO DEATH Deuteronomy 21:21 DROWN THEM Matthew 18:6 21 | FATHERS SHOULD EAT SONS 8 Ezekiel 5:10 POISON THEM Deuteronomy 32:24 DASH THEM AGAINST STONES KILL THEM WITH DEATH Revelations 2:23 11 Psalms 137:9 SET FIRE TO THEM 10 STARVE THEM TO DEATH Lev 10:3 Lamentations 4:4 <p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p> <blockquote><p>This is intended to be a sort of “gotcha,” but what this really is is gross misinterpretation.</p> <p>Let’s take what each of these verses actually say, shall we?  Then we will look at what they actually mean.</p> <p>Deuteronomy 21:21 as a verse itself can only be understood in the context of the other verses in the passage, so I will provide them here.</p> <p>Deuteronomy 21:18 - If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,</p> <p>21:19 - his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.</p> <p>21:20 - They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”</p> <p>21:21 - Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.</p> <p>A drunkard?  Now how many little kids do you know are guzzling alcohol?  Certainly not in that culture and time, at least.  So already we can get the sense that they’re most likely referring to adult children.  When we think of children in Western culture, we always assume young children, but technically, even if you’re 30 years old, you’re still your mother and father’s child, even though you are not <em>a</em> child in the eyes of the society in which you were raised.  But family ties were extremely significant to the Jewish people in the era of the Old Testament, specifically ties between parents and their progeny.</p> <p>It’s also important to note that the punishments for sin in the Old Testament were exclusive to the Jews in that time period.  It was a temporary theocracy system, and later, in the Book of Hebrews, Jesus tells His Jewish followers that they cannot follow Him and also make sacrifices and judgments according to Moses’ Law.  Jesus fulfilled the Law when He died on the cross.  That’s not to say that now we cannot send people to jail for murdering someone - simply that we are not bound by Moses’ Law.  The moral laws, such as loving your neighbor, not stealing, not lying, not being jealous of others, are timeless, but the actual legal/justice system in Moses’ Law was temporary.</p> <p>Matthew 18:6 - “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”</p> <p>Children in this case are referred to as Jesus’ followers in the context of this passage.  Jesus is using the example of children as a metaphor.  But even so, it doesn’t say that the <em>children</em> are the ones to get drowned - it’s those who influence them to do bad things.  And notice how he doesn’t say “you must drown them,” - he is saying that it would be <em>better</em> for them to drown than to cause one of God’s children to do bad things, like hatred against your fellow man, etc. etc.  Which implies that the spiritual consequences will be grave, since there are no earthly consequences for influencing a Christian to do bad.  So this passage doesn’t even <em>imply</em> punishing children at all, unless you’re going to do some huge nonsense mental acrobatics.</p> <p>Revelations 2:23 - I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.</p> <p>This is Jesus speaking exclusively about Jezebel’s children, if you read the previous verses.  Jezebel’s children were already adults before Jesus made this statement, in fact two of her sons had succeeded their father’s throne (one after the other, since the first son died), so they are completely responsible for their own deeds, good or bad.  Jezebel was a queen of Israel who called herself a prophet, but she did many evil, selfish things, trying to justify herself by saying she was doing right by God.  She believed a king had absolute power and could do whatever he wished because his word was law, even if he did bad.  She murdered several prophets (1 Kings 18:4) in an attempt to convert the Israelites to polytheism.  She also had a man stoned to death because he refused to sell his vineyard to her husband, the king (1 Kings 21:1-14).  So she wasn’t exactly the best person.</p> <p>Leviticus 10:3 - Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> spoke of when he said: “ ‘Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’ ” Aaron remained silent.</p> <p>I assume there was a mistake here, because this verse doesn’t refer to burning children whatsoever!  But if you read the previous verses, you find that who actually died were two of the sons of Aaron, the head priest.  They themselves were priests, and to be a priest at that time, you had to be around 30 years old.  So, again, old enough to be made accountable for your actions.</p> <p>Ezekiel 5:10 - Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.</p> <p>This is specifically a prophesy given the context of the passage, not a moral command.</p> <p>Ezekiel 5:5-10 - “This is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> says: This is Jerusalem, which I have set in the center of the nations, with countries all around her.</p> <p>&ldquo;Yet in her wickedness she has rebelled against my laws and decrees more than the nations and countries around her. She has rejected my laws and has not followed my decrees.</p> <p>“Therefore this is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen111">ORD</span> says: You have been more unruly than the nations around you and have not followed my decrees or kept my laws. You have not even conformed to the standards of the nations around you.</p> <p>&quot;Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again.</p> <p>Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.”</p> <p>It is clearly a prophesy of what the people of Israel would do when they turned their backs against God, which eventually happened in 2 Kings.  It is not a condoning of cannibalism, because the Bible repeatedly declares murder as an atrocious sin.<span>  Right after the declaration of prophesy, God states that Israel would be punished for doing such things.<br/></span></p> <p><span>Deuteronomy 32:24 - “</span>I will send wasting famine against them, consuming pestilence and deadly plague; I will send against them the fangs of wild beasts, the venom of vipers that glide in the dust.”</p> <p>This entire chapter (Deuteronomy 32) is dedicated to what would happen to Israel if they started doing evil things and turning their backs on God.  “Sons and daughters” tie in with the idea that when you are a follower of God, you are God’s son or daughter.  Just like when you’re 40, and your parents are still alive, you’re still their son or daughter.</p> <p>Psalms 137:9</p> <p>&quot;Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.&rdquo;</p> <p>Hmm!  Now this seems more direct, right?  Except it’s not.  This is from a short chapter of Psalms, so I’ll provide the other verses.</p> <p>Psalms 137:1-9</p> <p>&ldquo;By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.</p> <p>There on the poplars we hung our harps,</p> <p>for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”</p> <p>How can we sing the songs of the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> while in a foreign land?</p> <p>If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.</p> <p>May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.</p> <p>Remember, L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen62">ORD</span>, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations!”</p> <p>Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us.</p> <p>Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”</p> <p>Since the writer of this Psalm (and the Psalms in general) is widely agreed to have been King David, taken into context with the entire chapter, Psalms 137:9 seems to be one part of David’s lamenting of his loss of Jerusalem.  It’s important to note that the Bible is not entirely made up of moral doctrines - it also tells a story, and gets into the hearts and minds of many different people.</p> <p>Anyone reading line 9, after having read the previous lines and indeed, most of the Psalms, would see that this line is just a ruler regretting the loss of his kingdom.</p> <p>Lamentations 4:4 - Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p> <p>Now, if you read the rest of the chapter, you will see that this too is a lamentation (hence the title, haha!).  This is not a moral command - this is an account of how the people of Israel are slacking in following up on God’s moral commands, and because of that, they are causing children to starve.  Read the first five verses together now:</p> <p>Lamentations 4:1-5</p> <p>&quot;How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull! The sacred gems are scattered at every street corner.</p> <p>&quot;How the precious children of Zion [Israel, essentially], once worth their weight in gold, are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter’s hands!</p> <p>&quot;Even jackals offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.</p> <p>&quot;Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p> <p>&quot;Those who once ate delicacies are destitute in the streets. Those brought up in royal purple now lie on ash heaps.&rdquo;</p> <p>That line there - “but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.”  It is because of Israel’s degradation and refusal to consistently follow the moral commands given to them by God, that eventually, this situation came about.  The reason children are being starved is because the Israelites are not feeding them - they’re slacking off, basically.  This line, too, is not a moral command, then - it is the author recording the suffering of Israel because they stopped following their moral code, given to them by God.</p> <p>Now overall, what do all my explanations show you?  It shows you that some people will do anything to claim my faith is evil, even going so far as to completely ignore context - the very basics of literary hermeneutics - and instead cherry-pick verses that at first glance seem problematic, but deeper reading proves quite the opposite.</p></blockquote>
old testament: Name the proper method of murdering
 children, according to the bible.
 FAMILY
 STONE THEM TO DEATH
 Deuteronomy 21:21
 DROWN THEM
 Matthew 18:6
 21 |
 FATHERS SHOULD EAT SONS
 8
 Ezekiel 5:10
 POISON THEM
 Deuteronomy 32:24
 DASH THEM AGAINST STONES
 KILL THEM WITH DEATH
 Revelations 2:23
 11
 Psalms 137:9
 SET FIRE TO THEM 10
 STARVE THEM TO DEATH
 Lev 10:3
 Lamentations 4:4
<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p>This is intended to be a sort of “gotcha,” but what this really is is gross misinterpretation.</p>
<p>Let’s take what each of these verses actually say, shall we?  Then we will look at what they actually mean.</p>
<p>Deuteronomy 21:21 as a verse itself can only be understood in the context of the other verses in the passage, so I will provide them here.</p>
<p>Deuteronomy 21:18 - If someone has a stubborn and rebellious son who does not obey his father and mother and will not listen to them when they discipline him,</p>
<p>21:19 - his father and mother shall take hold of him and bring him to the elders at the gate of his town.</p>
<p>21:20 - They shall say to the elders, “This son of ours is stubborn and rebellious. He will not obey us. He is a glutton and a drunkard.”</p>
<p>21:21 - Then all the men of his town are to stone him to death. You must purge the evil from among you. All Israel will hear of it and be afraid.</p>
<p>A drunkard?  Now how many little kids do you know are guzzling alcohol?  Certainly not in that culture and time, at least.  So already we can get the sense that they’re most likely referring to adult children.  When we think of children in Western culture, we always assume young children, but technically, even if you’re 30 years old, you’re still your mother and father’s child, even though you are not <em>a</em> child in the eyes of the society in which you were raised.  But family ties were extremely significant to the Jewish people in the era of the Old Testament, specifically ties between parents and their progeny.</p>
<p>It’s also important to note that the punishments for sin in the Old Testament were exclusive to the Jews in that time period.  It was a temporary theocracy system, and later, in the Book of Hebrews, Jesus tells His Jewish followers that they cannot follow Him and also make sacrifices and judgments according to Moses’ Law.  Jesus fulfilled the Law when He died on the cross.  That’s not to say that now we cannot send people to jail for murdering someone - simply that we are not bound by Moses’ Law.  The moral laws, such as loving your neighbor, not stealing, not lying, not being jealous of others, are timeless, but the actual legal/justice system in Moses’ Law was temporary.</p>
<p>Matthew 18:6 - “If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea.”</p>
<p>Children in this case are referred to as Jesus’ followers in the context of this passage.  Jesus is using the example of children as a metaphor.  But even so, it doesn’t say that the <em>children</em> are the ones to get drowned - it’s those who influence them to do bad things.  And notice how he doesn’t say “you must drown them,” - he is saying that it would be <em>better</em> for them to drown than to cause one of God’s children to do bad things, like hatred against your fellow man, etc. etc.  Which implies that the spiritual consequences will be grave, since there are no earthly consequences for influencing a Christian to do bad.  So this passage doesn’t even <em>imply</em> punishing children at all, unless you’re going to do some huge nonsense mental acrobatics.</p>
<p>Revelations 2:23 - I will strike her children dead. Then all the churches will know that I am he who searches hearts and minds, and I will repay each of you according to your deeds.</p>
<p>This is Jesus speaking exclusively about Jezebel’s children, if you read the previous verses.  Jezebel’s children were already adults before Jesus made this statement, in fact two of her sons had succeeded their father’s throne (one after the other, since the first son died), so they are completely responsible for their own deeds, good or bad.  Jezebel was a queen of Israel who called herself a prophet, but she did many evil, selfish things, trying to justify herself by saying she was doing right by God.  She believed a king had absolute power and could do whatever he wished because his word was law, even if he did bad.  She murdered several prophets (1 Kings 18:4) in an attempt to convert the Israelites to polytheism.  She also had a man stoned to death because he refused to sell his vineyard to her husband, the king (1 Kings 21:1-14).  So she wasn’t exactly the best person.</p>
<p>Leviticus 10:3 - Moses then said to Aaron, “This is what the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> spoke of when he said: “ ‘Among those who approach me I will be proved holy; in the sight of all the people I will be honored.’ ” Aaron remained silent.</p>
<p>I assume there was a mistake here, because this verse doesn’t refer to burning children whatsoever!  But if you read the previous verses, you find that who actually died were two of the sons of Aaron, the head priest.  They themselves were priests, and to be a priest at that time, you had to be around 30 years old.  So, again, old enough to be made accountable for your actions.</p>

<p>Ezekiel 5:10 - Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.</p>
<p>This is specifically a prophesy given the context of the passage, not a moral command.</p>
<p>Ezekiel 5:5-10 - “This is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> says: This is Jerusalem, which I have set in the center of the nations, with countries all around her.</p>
<p>&ldquo;Yet in her wickedness she has rebelled against my laws and decrees more than the nations and countries around her. She has rejected my laws and has not followed my decrees.</p>
<p>“Therefore this is what the Sovereign L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen111">ORD</span> says: You have been more unruly than the nations around you and have not followed my decrees or kept my laws. You have not even conformed to the standards of the nations around you.</p>
<p>&quot;Because of all your detestable idols, I will do to you what I have never done before and will never do again.</p>
<p>Therefore in your midst parents will eat their children, and children will eat their parents. I will inflict punishment on you and will scatter all your survivors to the winds.”</p>
<p>It is clearly a prophesy of what the people of Israel would do when they turned their backs against God, which eventually happened in 2 Kings.  It is not a condoning of cannibalism, because the Bible repeatedly declares murder as an atrocious sin.<span>  Right after the declaration of prophesy, God states that Israel would be punished for doing such things.<br/></span></p>
<p><span>Deuteronomy 32:24 - “</span>I will send wasting famine against them, consuming pestilence and deadly plague; I will send against them the fangs of wild beasts, the venom of vipers that glide in the dust.”</p>
<p>This entire chapter (Deuteronomy 32) is dedicated to what would happen to Israel if they started doing evil things and turning their backs on God.  “Sons and daughters” tie in with the idea that when you are a follower of God, you are God’s son or daughter.  Just like when you’re 40, and your parents are still alive, you’re still their son or daughter.</p>
<p>Psalms 137:9</p>
<p>&quot;Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.&rdquo;</p>
<p>Hmm!  Now this seems more direct, right?  Except it’s not.  This is from a short chapter of Psalms, so I’ll provide the other verses.</p>
<p>Psalms 137:1-9</p>
<p>&ldquo;By the rivers of Babylon we sat and wept when we remembered Zion.</p>
<p>There on the poplars we hung our harps,</p>
<p>for there our captors asked us for songs, our tormentors demanded songs of joy; they said, “Sing us one of the songs of Zion!”</p>
<p>How can we sing the songs of the L<span class="yhwh">ORD</span> while in a foreign land?</p>
<p>If I forget you, Jerusalem, may my right hand forget its skill.</p>
<p>May my tongue cling to the roof of my mouth if I do not remember you, if I do not consider Jerusalem my highest joy.</p>
<p>Remember, L<span class="yhwh" id="yui-gen62">ORD</span>, what the Edomites did on the day Jerusalem fell. “Tear it down,” they cried, “tear it down to its foundations!”</p>
<p>Daughter Babylon, doomed to destruction, happy is the one who repays you according to what you have done to us.</p>
<p>Happy is the one who seizes your infants and dashes them against the rocks.”</p>
<p>Since the writer of this Psalm (and the Psalms in general) is widely agreed to have been King David, taken into context with the entire chapter, Psalms 137:9 seems to be one part of David’s lamenting of his loss of Jerusalem.  It’s important to note that the Bible is not entirely made up of moral doctrines - it also tells a story, and gets into the hearts and minds of many different people.</p>
<p>Anyone reading line 9, after having read the previous lines and indeed, most of the Psalms, would see that this line is just a ruler regretting the loss of his kingdom.</p>
<p>Lamentations 4:4 - Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p>
<p>Now, if you read the rest of the chapter, you will see that this too is a lamentation (hence the title, haha!).  This is not a moral command - this is an account of how the people of Israel are slacking in following up on God’s moral commands, and because of that, they are causing children to starve.  Read the first five verses together now:</p>
<p>Lamentations 4:1-5</p>
<p>&quot;How the gold has lost its luster, the fine gold become dull! The sacred gems are scattered at every street corner.</p>
<p>&quot;How the precious children of Zion [Israel, essentially], once worth their weight in gold, are now considered as pots of clay, the work of a potter’s hands!</p>
<p>&quot;Even jackals offer their breasts to nurse their young, but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.</p>
<p>&quot;Because of thirst the infant’s tongue sticks to the roof of its mouth; the children beg for bread, but no one gives it to them.</p>
<p>&quot;Those who once ate delicacies are destitute in the streets. Those brought up in royal purple now lie on ash heaps.&rdquo;</p>
<p>That line there - “but my people have become heartless like ostriches in the desert.”  It is because of Israel’s degradation and refusal to consistently follow the moral commands given to them by God, that eventually, this situation came about.  The reason children are being starved is because the Israelites are not feeding them - they’re slacking off, basically.  This line, too, is not a moral command, then - it is the author recording the suffering of Israel because they stopped following their moral code, given to them by God.</p>
<p>Now overall, what do all my explanations show you?  It shows you that some people will do anything to claim my faith is evil, even going so far as to completely ignore context - the very basics of literary hermeneutics - and instead cherry-pick verses that at first glance seem problematic, but deeper reading proves quite the opposite.</p></blockquote>

<p><a href="http://marumina.tumblr.com/post/101601096550/this-is-intended-to-be-a-sort-of-gotcha-but" class="tumblr_blog">marumina</a>:</...