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Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based on people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in a breath ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing actually work? babe, i'm not sure if this would Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms ILOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" ladyhavilliard ..perfect theskystealerthebookthief I need 4 seasons and a movie on this I would watch the hell out of this
Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based on
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart
 attack
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in
 a breath ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing
 actually work?
 babe, i'm not sure if this would
 Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 ILOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even
 funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how
 Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 a detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
 ladyhavilliard
 ..perfect
 theskystealerthebookthief
 I need 4 seasons and a movie on this
I would watch the hell out of this

I would watch the hell out of this

Advice, Being Alone, and America: Anna Breslaw @annabreslavw My sister is doing arn experiment: Whenever men walk towards her, she doesn't move out of the way first. So far she has collided with 28 men. 12/13/14, 5:04 PNM marithlizard: taraljc: seperis: sapphic-pink-kryptonite: phoenixonwheels: linkedsoul: little-miss-stan: elegantmess100: blossombarnes: retroasgardian: reddobastard: onethingconstant: songbirde108: mercurialkitty: emmagrant01: clevermanka: youcangofindatree: moremetalthanyourmom: Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move Gotta try it I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with. Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path. Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!” I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way. Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze. Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note. I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston. I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible. Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America. WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA It’s called the Murder Strut. IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!! A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post. One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him. It works wonders. In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them. If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm. Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America. Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how. Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you. Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds. I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 
Advice, Being Alone, and America: Anna Breslaw
 @annabreslavw
 My sister is doing arn
 experiment: Whenever men
 walk towards her, she doesn't
 move out of the way first. So
 far she has collided with 28
 men.
 12/13/14, 5:04 PNM
marithlizard:

taraljc:

seperis:


sapphic-pink-kryptonite:

phoenixonwheels:

linkedsoul:

little-miss-stan:

elegantmess100:


blossombarnes:

retroasgardian:


reddobastard:

onethingconstant:


songbirde108:


mercurialkitty:


emmagrant01:


clevermanka:


youcangofindatree:


moremetalthanyourmom:

Okay but after seeing this I started doing it too and it’s amazing how many men I’ve run into bc they expected me to move

Gotta try it


I work (and walk) on a college campus. I’ve lost count of how many men I’ve smacked shoulders with.


Recently, I was standing outside my son’s classroom waiting to talk to his teacher. I stood on one side of the hallway, not even close to the center. At some point, a man came walking along. I was standing right in his path, but the hallway was empty, so I logically expected him to swerve around me. Instead he kept walking right toward me, got to me, and stopped, as if waiting for me to get out of his way. I didn’t; I just smiled politely at him. He finally walked around me, clearly annoyed that I hadn’t leapt out of his manly path. 
Now I’m wishing I’d leapt aside, taken off my jacket and laid it on the floor before him, then bowed deeply and said, “My Liege!”


I also work at a college campus. I smack shoulders sometimes, but I find that if I stare straight ahead and follow the advice below, people get the heck out of the way.


Honestly this post changed how I carry myself when walking alone in public, or in a situation where I’m the one leading. People definitely move for the murder gaze.


Confirmed. I once had to rush back inside a convention hall as the con was closing in order to a retrieve a sick friend’s medication, and I didn’t understand why people in the crowd were jumping out of my way (literally—one guy vaulted a table) until I realized I was dressed as the Winter Soldier and doing the Murder Walk because that’s just how I walk in those boots. I got the meds, got out, and made a mental note.
I repeated the experiment later, wearing the boots but otherwise my usual clothing and mimicking the expression I thought I’d had at that moment. People parted like I was Charlton Heston.
I now wear that style of boots whenever possible. I recently had a man do a double-take as I walked by and ask me, politely, where I had served because I “looked like a soldier.” I’m not current or former military. I was wearing a flowy purple peasant top and looked as un-soldierlike as possible.
Moral of the story: wear comfortable shoes, square your shoulders, and walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.


WALK LIKE YOU’VE BEEN SENT TO MURDER CAPTAIN AMERICA




It’s called the Murder Strut.

IT’S BACK!!!!!! I was searching for this to show my daughter the other day and couldn’t find it. I’m so glad IT’S BACK!! I will always reblog the Murder Strut!!


A guy on a bike went around me because he could tell I had no intention of moving. Thanks to this post. 

One day and I bumped into a guy while doing the Murder Strut and he apologized to me even though I was the one who had bumped into him.
It works wonders.


In case you were wondering, yes you can do this in a wheelchair. Same look in your eyes and let ‘em know you will run them down. Just picture yourself in a sports car accelerating towards someone with the intention of flattening them. 
If there’s anything more satisfying than watching Abled men leap out of my way when they realize I’m not moving for them, I can’t think of it atm. 


Walk like you’ve been sent to murder Captain America.
Wheel like you’re gonna win the Indy 500 and don’t care how.
Your crutches are short swords; walk like you can see them buried in the bodies of anyone who crosses (in front of) you.
Tumblr: teaching women how to be Moses and part the fucking Red Sea with the power of their minds.


I had never seen these updates to the Patriarchy Chicken Game before and they are all a goddam DELIGHT

Patriarchy Chicken and The Murder Strut, dance names for the new millenium. 

marithlizard: taraljc: seperis: sapphic-pink-kryptonite: phoenixonwheels: linkedsoul: little-miss-stan: elegantmess100: blossombar...

Anime, Cartoon Network, and Love: COhen lwas a Kid hada big Spongebob plushie that Jeasth laved to was obsessed with Spongebob... Spongebob tooth brush paste! Ceadouod Pis! Sponge bob Bday Party! 0ριροφ ρυν could However, whe never AME-AVEmy undying CAPTAIN! love fo Sponge bob YoU READY KIDSP was not shared with my Mother... Ias ked her to comment and she stated: tgrates my 5ου His tormenting laugh haunts my dreams to this day "One day I came home from School and my s ponge bob plosh was missing from my bed./ \SPO0ONGEBOB! Searched everywhere but he was nowhere to be found... never Saw him ALWE! again... Years later,mother asked me to bring down my pillow covers So she could wash them ZI||I Spongebob wasn't misst na... He was murdered She amputate his limbs and nose and turned him into a pillow. Ga Istill cant believe yoo di that. lwas overcome with rage someoneintheshadow456: dysphoric-varian: dysphoric-rohan: dasha-henshins: outofpocket-prince: dysphoric-rohan: such-justice-wow: roselph: a murder mystery Uhhh that’s super fucked up if true. Imagine destroying your child’s toys and brushing it off I mean this is genuinely abusive. You can laugh it off now, but your parent destroyed your beloved possession just because your interests didn’t match theirs and they couldn’t manage their emotions. That’s a horrible way to treat your child. Ya that is fucked up :) but seriously you guys have some weird impressions of what parents are. They are dumbass adults who grew biological polyps. They are allowed to have feelings. Yeah turning SpongeBob into a Dexter pillow is not a stellar response to grateing nautical laughter, but it didn’t hurt anyone, and they can laugh about it now, what secret psychological dagger do you think was rammed into their heart? Abuse is more then being petty, it is more than being mean. Emotional parental abuse fucks you over about as much as physical one, but we just don’t talk about it. Don’t excuse abuse with “they’re just human and have feelings”. I have feelings, too, but do I break things belonging to my loved ones? Do I rip off the arms and legs of my fiancee’s or my brothers’ action figures and plushes? No! Because I love those people and treat their things with respect. It 100% does hurt people. Can you not imagine the pain of being a child and having your favourite stuffed toy go missing? Can you imagine the trauma of seeing your favourite stuffed toy mutilated when you’re just a child?Not respecting somebody’s belongings or going out of your way to destroy or get rid of somebody’s belongings is abuse. I know this because I was abused and this was done to me as part of my abuser’s control over me.Yes, abuse is more than being mean. Glad you mentioned that. Abuse is being mean, to somebody you’re supposed to love and care for, and who trusts you deeply. You’ve proved my point. Tearing up your kids toy is the same as destroying your fiances xbox. My mom practically grounded me every time I watched Cartoon Network because she thought it was annoying. My parents used to bully me for liking anime and even told me that the only way to get people to like me is to abandon it and become “normal, instead of watching stupid trash.” When I mentioned my classmates making fun of me they said “of course they will if you continue to watch garbage.” Worst part was that the lesson I ACTUALLY needed to learn was “be considerate about others, not everyone likes the same thing as you, there’s a time and place to talk about your interests.” But they didn’t know how to teach that to me and thought if they verbally abused me I’d somehow get the message from that.
Anime, Cartoon Network, and Love: COhen lwas a Kid hada
 big Spongebob plushie that
 Jeasth
 laved to
 was obsessed with
 Spongebob...
 Spongebob
 tooth brush
 paste!
 Ceadouod
 Pis!
 Sponge bob
 Bday Party!
 0ριροφ ρυν
 could
 However,
 whe never
 AME-AVEmy undying
 CAPTAIN! love fo
 Sponge bob
 YoU READY
 KIDSP
 was not
 shared
 with my
 Mother...
 Ias ked her to comment
 and she stated:
 tgrates my
 5ου
 His tormenting
 laugh haunts my
 dreams to
 this day

 "One day I came home from
 School and my s ponge bob plosh
 was missing from my bed./
 \SPO0ONGEBOB!
 Searched
 everywhere but
 he was nowhere
 to be found...
 never
 Saw him
 ALWE!
 again...

 Years later,mother asked me to
 bring down my pillow covers
 So she could wash them
 ZI||I
 Spongebob wasn't
 misst na...
 He was
 murdered

 She amputate
 his limbs and
 nose
 and turned him into
 a pillow.
 Ga
 Istill cant
 believe yoo di
 that.
 lwas overcome
 with rage
someoneintheshadow456:

dysphoric-varian:

dysphoric-rohan:


dasha-henshins:

outofpocket-prince:


dysphoric-rohan:


such-justice-wow:

roselph:
a murder mystery

Uhhh that’s super fucked up if true. Imagine destroying your child’s toys and brushing it off

I mean this is genuinely abusive. You can laugh it off now, but your parent destroyed your beloved possession just because your interests didn’t match theirs and they couldn’t manage their emotions. That’s a horrible way to treat your child.


Ya that is fucked up :) but seriously you guys have some weird impressions of what parents are. They are dumbass adults who grew biological polyps. They are allowed to have feelings. Yeah turning SpongeBob into a Dexter pillow is not a stellar response to grateing nautical laughter, but it didn’t hurt anyone, and they can laugh about it now, what secret psychological dagger do you think was rammed into their heart? Abuse is more then being petty, it is more than being mean. 


Emotional parental abuse fucks you over about as much as physical one, but we just don’t talk about it. 

Don’t excuse abuse with “they’re just human and have feelings”. I have feelings, too, but do I break things belonging to my loved ones? Do I rip off the arms and legs of my fiancee’s or my brothers’ action figures and plushes? No! Because I love those people and treat their things with respect. It 100% does hurt people. Can you not imagine the pain of being a child and having your favourite stuffed toy go missing? Can you imagine the trauma of seeing your favourite stuffed toy mutilated when you’re just a child?Not respecting somebody’s belongings or going out of your way to destroy or get rid of somebody’s belongings is abuse. I know this because I was abused and this was done to me as part of my abuser’s control over me.Yes, abuse is more than being mean. Glad you mentioned that. Abuse is being mean, to somebody you’re supposed to love and care for, and who trusts you deeply. You’ve proved my point.


Tearing up your kids toy is the same as destroying your fiances xbox. 
My mom practically grounded me every time I watched Cartoon Network because she thought it was annoying. 


My parents used to bully me for liking anime and even told me that the only way to get people to like me is to abandon it and become “normal, instead of watching stupid trash.” When I mentioned my classmates making fun of me they said “of course they will if you continue to watch garbage.” 
Worst part was that the lesson I ACTUALLY needed to learn was “be considerate about others, not everyone likes the same thing as you, there’s a time and place to talk about your interests.” But they didn’t know how to teach that to me and thought if they verbally abused me I’d somehow get the message from that.

someoneintheshadow456: dysphoric-varian: dysphoric-rohan: dasha-henshins: outofpocket-prince: dysphoric-rohan: such-justice-wow: r...

Tumblr, Blog, and Murder: XI mannfred-did-nothing-wrong: Angron WIP, Looking uncomfortably peaceful. Presumably murder is on the cards for the evening.  Still need to add the axe he’s leaning on.
Tumblr, Blog, and Murder: XI
mannfred-did-nothing-wrong:

Angron WIP, Looking uncomfortably peaceful. Presumably murder is on the cards for the evening.  Still need to add the axe he’s leaning on.

mannfred-did-nothing-wrong: Angron WIP, Looking uncomfortably peaceful. Presumably murder is on the cards for the evening.  Still need to a...