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Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack. Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks in a breath* ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks December C) Baby infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would actually work? Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms I LOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" I love this so much
Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a
 heart attack.
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: *sucks
 in a breath* ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: *shaking* thanks
 December C) Baby
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: *shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing* babe, i'm not sure if this would
 actually work?
 Serial killer: *kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 I LOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 I love this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be
 even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like
 how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gullible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
I love this so much

I love this so much

Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s A dating service where matching is based on people's search history exists. You're a serial killer. You go on a date with a writer. endreams-s Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill someone, how would you do it? Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart attack Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in a breath ok fangoddess817 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to potentially stab someone in the guts Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks infinityonthot A++ addition tetsuskitten Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene they're writing actually work? babe, i'm not sure if this would Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great tigerliliesandcherryblossoms ILOVE THIS vmohlere Oh no, murder comedy is my jam laziestofthedreamers Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does the author know? Like are they aware that their significant other is a serial killer or do they just think that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop or something so it's completely normal for them to come home smelling like blood, no murders going on here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home from a long day at work. Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed to get their first book published, with loving support from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that a detective with the local police department has noticed some disturbing similarities to several active cases, including details that were never released to the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior and convinces him that there's something to the theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes out the author's home and is super convinced that the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do anything??? Like they literally are at the house all day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries. So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the author for creative murder schemes, the author being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and finally the detective who is just so sure that the author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long enough he'll FINALLY have proof. annieutimagines Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go out so it gets sub what personal. "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a serial killer." Serial killer breaths in. "Look-" ladyhavilliard ..perfect theskystealerthebookthief I need 4 seasons and a movie on this I would watch the hell out of this
Apparently, Crime, and Dating: writing-prompt-s
 A dating service where matching is based on
 people's search history exists. You're a serial killer.
 You go on a date with a writer.
 endreams-s
 Serial Killer: metaphorically, if you were to kill
 someone, how would you do it?
 Writer: Air shot between the toes, it'll look like a heart
 attack
 Serial Killer who is obviously in love already: "sucks in
 a breath ok
 fangoddess817
 Writer: how long would it take to die if you were to
 potentially stab someone in the guts
 Serial killer: anywhere from 2 to 30 minutes
 Writer, already bringing a ring out: "shaking thanks
 infinityonthot
 A++ addition
 tetsuskitten
 Writer: "shows the serial killer the murder scene
 they're writing
 actually work?
 babe, i'm not sure if this would
 Serial killer: "kisses writer on the forehead and
 leaves, comes back later, a suspicious scent of blood
 coming off them* it works baby, you're doing great
 tigerliliesandcherryblossoms
 ILOVE THIS
 vmohlere
 Oh no, murder comedy is my jam
 laziestofthedreamers
 Ilove this, I love all of this, but quick question, does
 the author know? Like are they aware that their
 significant other is a serial killer or do they just think
 that they have a morbid sense of humor? It'd be even
 funnier if the author had no fucking clue, like how
 Aurthur Conan Doyle was apparently stupidly
 gulible, and on top of it they're a horror or crime
 novelist. Like the serial killer works at a butcher shop
 or something so it's completely normal for them to
 come home smelling like blood, no murders going on
 here, no sirey. Just my darling coming back home
 from a long day at work.
 Now fast forward a bit and the author has managed
 to get their first book published, with loving support
 from the serial killer who helped them fine tune all
 the murder scenes, and it's a big hit. Enough so that
 a detective with the local police department has
 noticed some disturbing similarities to several active
 cases, including details that were never released to
 the press. Obviously he brings this up to his superior
 and convinces him that there's something to the
 theory, but it's all circumstantial right now. He stakes
 out the author's home and is super convinced that
 the author is the murderer, but they don't seem to do
 anything??? Like they literally are at the house all
 day, that's it. Most they do is leave for groceries.
 So you get this dynamic of the serial killer mining the
 author for creative murder schemes, the author
 being lovingly encouraged by the serial killer, and
 finally the detective who is just so sure that the
 author is the killer and that if he sticks it out long
 enough he'll FINALLY have proof.
 annieutimagines
 Plot twist, The serial killer and detective use to go
 out so it gets sub what personal.
 "You need to stop seeing them. I think they are a
 serial killer."
 Serial killer breaths in. "Look-"
 ladyhavilliard
 ..perfect
 theskystealerthebookthief
 I need 4 seasons and a movie on this
I would watch the hell out of this

I would watch the hell out of this

Ass, Birthday, and Comfortable: Excuse generator Use your birthday to generate an excuse January February March April May June 16 I don't give a shit 17 I was drunk I'm sorry I'm soooo sorry Honestly... You know what? 1 I didn't feel like it 2 forgot 3 I rewatched GBBO 18 It was far too boring 19 I just found out l'm a ghost instead 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy 5 I do what I want Hey, fuck you buddy Don't look at me like that It won't happen again, but 21 I spent the night learning to 6 *points at crotch* 7 I have diarrhoea riverdance 22 It's none of your concern! ul 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me 10 It's none of your August Look me in the eye September You know why, Bob?! October For the last time November think you know December You wanna know why 25 I am filled with existential angst 26 I'm too cool for this shit. business. 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up 28 My bed is too comfortable 29 Why don't you ask your mum about Brexit I didn't do your stupid 12 Yolo. Yolo 13 I'm not a dork 14 Shut up, that's why. 15 l have a life why I didn't do it? SM.S 30 It would have been shit anyway. 31 I didn't feel like doing something STUDENT MONEY SAVER dumb today imstuckathome12: xxxxarachnidsgripxxxx: green-cryptid: mystical-blue-jellyfish: wanderinglilweirdo: tiggyloo: cutie-quinn: sky-uppercunt: ryannandreww: edgarahoe: apathbetweenthestars: dontkillbirds: brutusfeels: doodle-dumpingground: madd-of-the-dead: the-regeneratin-degenerate: foxrat: “it wont happen again, but your expectations are too high” what kind of morbid ass shit is that “I think you know I was drunk” daaamn that’s so accurate to me “It wont happen again bit it would have been shit anyways” this is a bullshit excuse that I would def use “Look me in the eyes… I am filled with existential angst”Now I don’t use excuses often, but this is one of the greatest things I have ever heard XD Hey fuck you buddy I’m filled with existential angst is a goodun Hey don’t look at me like that, I just found out I’m a ghost! Don’t look at me like that.  My bed is too comfortable. “You know what? I have diarrhea.” “Honestly…it’s none of your business “ For the last time i watched GBBO instead Oh gosh, august 4th I think I win with “for the last time, I don’t give a shit” “You know why, Bob? Shut up, that’s why!” …..i love it “I’m soooo sorry. I was drunk.” The first part seems fitting though. But I never was drunk, never drank alcohol. And I will never drink it. hey fuck you buddy it would have been shit anyways im sooo sorry. Shut up that’s why. Im sooo sorry im filled with existential angst “You know what? I have a life.” So savage, damn-
Ass, Birthday, and Comfortable: Excuse generator
 Use your birthday to generate an excuse
 January
 February
 March
 April
 May
 June
 16 I don't give a shit
 17 I was drunk
 I'm sorry
 I'm soooo sorry
 Honestly...
 You know what?
 1 I didn't feel like it
 2 forgot
 3 I rewatched GBBO
 18 It was far too boring
 19 I just found out l'm a ghost
 instead
 4 I watched porn instead 20 My dong was too itchy
 5 I do what I want
 Hey, fuck you buddy
 Don't look at me like
 that
 It won't happen again,
 but
 21 I spent the night learning to
 6 *points at crotch*
 7 I have diarrhoea
 riverdance
 22 It's none of your concern!
 ul
 8 My fucking dog ate it 23 Your expectations are too high
 9 Homework is for dicks 24 You're not the boss of me
 10 It's none of your
 August Look me in the eye
 September You know why, Bob?!
 October For the last time
 November think you know
 December You wanna know why
 25 I am filled with existential angst
 26 I'm too cool for this shit.
 business.
 11 I've been thinking a lot 27 My STls are acting up
 28 My bed is too comfortable
 29 Why don't you ask your mum
 about Brexit
 I didn't do your stupid
 12 Yolo. Yolo
 13 I'm not a dork
 14 Shut up, that's why.
 15 l have a life
 why I didn't do it?
 SM.S
 30 It would have been shit anyway.
 31 I didn't feel like doing something
 STUDENT MONEY SAVER
 dumb today
imstuckathome12:

xxxxarachnidsgripxxxx:

green-cryptid:

mystical-blue-jellyfish:
wanderinglilweirdo:


tiggyloo:

cutie-quinn:

sky-uppercunt:


ryannandreww:


edgarahoe:


apathbetweenthestars:


dontkillbirds:

brutusfeels:


doodle-dumpingground:


madd-of-the-dead:

the-regeneratin-degenerate:

foxrat:
“it wont happen again, but your expectations are too high” what kind of morbid ass shit is that

“I think you know I was drunk” daaamn that’s so accurate to me


“It wont happen again bit it would have been shit anyways” this is a bullshit excuse that I would def use

“Look me in the eyes… I am filled with existential angst”Now I don’t use excuses often, but this is one of the greatest things I have ever heard XD


Hey fuck you buddy I’m filled with existential angst is a goodun


Hey don’t look at me like that, I just found out I’m a ghost!

Don’t look at me like that.  My bed is too comfortable.


“You know what? I have diarrhea.”


“Honestly…it’s none of your business “


For the last time i watched GBBO instead


Oh gosh, august 4th


I think I win with “for the last time, I don’t give a shit”

“You know why, Bob? Shut up, that’s why!”
…..i love it


“I’m soooo sorry. I was drunk.” 
The first part seems fitting though. But I never was drunk, never drank alcohol. And I will never drink it. 

hey fuck you buddy it would have been shit anyways

im sooo sorry. Shut up that’s why.

Im sooo sorry im filled with existential angst

“You know what? I have a life.” So savage, damn-

imstuckathome12: xxxxarachnidsgripxxxx: green-cryptid: mystical-blue-jellyfish: wanderinglilweirdo: tiggyloo: cutie-quinn: sky-upperc...

Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish? i wanna die so bad right now -waaaaay too tall -blood is 3% soda -literally murders innocents and is still widely considered a "smol bean" -good relationship with their mom -hobbies range from making origami to plotting to blow up the moon -really their height is just unreasonable and very intimidating i heard you've been saying some shit grandparents live in korea -little ball of anger -uses napalm as moisturiser -no one is sure if they're actually racist or not thinks they can speak german -lists "kicking inanimate objects" as a hobby got sold fake cocaine once about me on your blog -damaged -iterally no one can bring themselves to like -communicates only in grunts -writes terrible fiction -goes out of their way to upset others -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing) -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish -leaves agressive voicemails -used to be emo -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them way too many Ns little miss finland turns to camera in shock ADAM supreme gentleman -absolutely deplorable shoves an american flag up their ass most mornings takes selfies everywhere -everywhere i said loves their pets -finds depressive thinking arousing horrible handwriting tries. fails. -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay -uses air quotes to patronise others -"feminism is stupid" -can't get laid -has probably had lip injections. and ego injections. "why do girls always go for douchebags" -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in december. after the last star in the galaxy has burned out. mad at them -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D. -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7 -says weird shit 97% of the time -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid" will not get a haircut hasn't slept ever do have a frighteningly intense 56 brennan's burger bundies gets what they want because they are-worships satan -known as the zodiac killer -takes off their glasses and becomes ets morbid sense of humour that occasionally gets them in trouble wants to have you (over) for dinner behaves drunk while sober and also while drunk. -vastly overestimates their ability to get away with things -does absolutely nothing in a group project and no one gets mad -dog person -has brushed their teeth less than 7 times since birth probably borrowed their cheekbones off a meth addict -greasy grease on top of their grease jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the d a m a g e d thing from another tag yourself I apologise) I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam
Ass, Bad, and Crime: wait, you're jewish?
 i wanna die so bad right now
 -waaaaay too tall
 -blood is 3% soda
 -literally murders innocents and is still
 widely considered a "smol bean"
 -good relationship with their mom
 -hobbies range from making origami to
 plotting to blow up the moon
 -really their height is just unreasonable
 and very intimidating
 i heard you've been saying some shit
 grandparents live in korea
 -little ball of anger
 -uses napalm as moisturiser
 -no one is sure if they're actually
 racist or not
 thinks they can speak german
 -lists "kicking inanimate objects"
 as a hobby
 got sold fake cocaine once
 about me on your blog
 -damaged
 -iterally no one can bring themselves to like
 -communicates only in grunts
 -writes terrible fiction
 -goes out of their way to upset others
 -trying desperately to hide the gay (failing)
 -says shit like "adios" (doesn't speak spanish
 -leaves agressive voicemails
 -used to be emo
 -gets drunk and stabs inanimate objects
 -has an alien girlfriends and also 700 alter egos
 -is 103% sure that the world is out to get them
 way too many Ns
 little miss finland
 turns to camera in shock ADAM
 supreme gentleman
 -absolutely deplorable
 shoves an american flag up their ass
 most mornings
 takes selfies everywhere
 -everywhere i said
 loves their pets
 -finds depressive thinking arousing
 horrible handwriting
 tries. fails.
 -wants to be Wait, You're Jewish? but can't does rude shit but no one can stay
 -uses air quotes to patronise others
 -"feminism is stupid"
 -can't get laid
 -has probably had lip injections. and ego
 injections.
 "why do girls always go for douchebags"
 -wears sunglasses indoors. at night. in
 december. after the last star in the galaxy
 has burned out.
 mad at them
 -all gods are fictional except for themselfays gets asked for I.D.
 -makes fun of soccer moms but doesn't act hasn't taken a flattering photo in 7
 -says weird shit 97% of the time
 -wears t-shirts with edgy slogans
 -has v few friends but the friendships they clasifies self as a "cool kid"
 will not get a haircut
 hasn't slept ever
 do have a frighteningly intense
 56
 brennan's burger bundies
 gets what they want because they are-worships satan
 -known as the zodiac killer
 -takes off their glasses and becomes
 ets
 morbid sense of humour that
 occasionally gets them in trouble
 wants to have you (over) for dinner
 behaves drunk while sober and also
 while drunk.
 -vastly overestimates their ability to get
 away with things
 -does absolutely nothing in a group
 project and no one gets mad
 -dog person
 -has brushed their teeth less than 7
 times since birth
 probably borrowed their cheekbones
 off a meth addict
 -greasy grease on top of their grease
jeffreysdrunk:

luvoxxx:

Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought tumblr might appreciate it. I have no idea why there’s like 400 typos in it I swear English is my first language wtf. Anyway it’s just a meme it’s not meant to be disrespectful or gross or anything please enjoy my completely unfunny sense of humour. (Also I blatantly stole the  d a m a g e d  thing from another tag yourself I apologise)

I’m grandparents live in Korea and Dahmer lol

Way too many Ns *turns to camera in shock* Adam

jeffreysdrunk: luvoxxx: Okeeey so I don’t usually post stuff but a friend of mine asked me to make a true crime tag yourself and I thought...

Bitch, Irish, and Love: Bob Nicholson @DigiVictorian I find myself lost (not for the first time...) in a dictionary of Victorian slang. This is still my favourite: IS IS Got the morbs (Soe., 1880). Temporary melancholia Abstract noun coined from adjeetive morbid. 2016-12-15, 10:06 AM dysphoric-memez: the-porter-rockwell: thebibliosphere: thecuriousviolet: breelandwalker: nineprotons: “Got the morbs” should be a thing. Victorian slang is AMAZING, and select phrases really need to make a comeback. “Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?) “Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish “Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely “Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip “Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum “Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”) “Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant “Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones “Gigglemug” - A cheerful smiling face All of these??? Make me smile??? They’re so weird and wonderful I love them??? Especially bitch the pot because that’s something I could totally hear myself saying…that and chuckaboo I worked in a Victorian tea house in my youth and I’m telling you, you haven’t lived till you hear a the 98 year old lady (this was some 15 years ago) utter the words “bitch the pot” because it was what they used to say when the tea house first opened and it just sort of stuck through all the generations. i can hear these in both British accents and southern accents. Old southern people use a lot of these tbh
Bitch, Irish, and Love: Bob Nicholson
 @DigiVictorian
 I find myself lost (not for the first time...)
 in a dictionary of Victorian slang. This is
 still my favourite:
 IS IS
 Got the morbs (Soe., 1880).
 Temporary melancholia Abstract
 noun coined from adjeetive morbid.
 2016-12-15, 10:06 AM
dysphoric-memez:

the-porter-rockwell:

thebibliosphere:

thecuriousviolet:

breelandwalker:


nineprotons:
“Got the morbs” should be a thing.
Victorian slang is AMAZING, and select phrases really need to make a comeback.
“Bitch the pot” - Pour the tea (HOW RELEVANT IS THIS!?)
“Bang up the elephant” - Absolutely perfect; super stylish
“Well, that’s shot the bale” - Something that has missed the mark entirely
“Church-bell” - A woman prone to gossip
“Chuckaboo” - A dear friend, a bosom chum
“Beer and skittles” - A great time (see also: Irish Gaelic “craic”)
“Butter on bacon” - Something overdone or too extravagant
“Cupid’s kettle drums” - Breasts, particularly large ones
“Gigglemug” - A cheerful smiling face


All of these??? Make me smile??? They’re so weird and wonderful I love them??? Especially bitch the pot because that’s something I could totally hear myself saying…that and chuckaboo


I worked in a Victorian tea house in my youth and I’m telling you, you haven’t lived till you hear a the 98 year old lady (this was some 15 years ago) utter the words “bitch the pot” because it was what they used to say when the tea house first opened and it just sort of stuck through all the generations.

i can hear these in both British accents and southern accents.


Old southern people use a lot of these tbh

dysphoric-memez: the-porter-rockwell: thebibliosphere: thecuriousviolet: breelandwalker: nineprotons: “Got the morbs” should be a thin...

Apparently, Baseball, and Beautiful: crime show: well we don't know what time she was taken but as you can see in this convenience store security footage she's mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells us she's saying 'those three wise men they ve got a semi by the sea which are lyrics to James Blunt's song Wisemen which was playing on that store's favoured radio station at approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly five minutes later so therefore m crying cause most secunty cams would have timestamps crime show: now see usually we'd manage to get a timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would think this means we shouldn't be able to see the footage at all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it as their background footage while recording yesterday so jenroses yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it? unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality and very grainy but as Izoom in on this super blurry pixelated mage you can see the details become much clearer and easier to identify But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the camera lens? good eye! originally I didn't even notice it was there but whie combing through the footage I noticed three different people sneezed whille in view of the camera. I did some research and found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure plant life that is native to this particular state, which really doesn't help us, except that it only ever blooms in the opposite season! So I did some digging and found four nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that plant all year round, which of course means mongolman101 Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the cameras live feed as background, then we should know the ime of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we will know the time the perpetrator was in the building DAMNIT jONES THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE WELL IT'S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up state. So, apparently, we're supposed to work together. I'm not any happier than you are. but I hate sharing! TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is somehow connected with that cult that's been sacrificing its members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god Cthulhu. Now, I don't like it any more than you do, and I'm worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside our differences, and do what needs to be done?! Alright, but when we catch the perp he's mine. I don't care if he's sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse! That man may know who killed my father, and I wont let anyone get in my way -not even someone with your develish smile. Do you think you're the only one who wants to find Eric's murderer?1 He was my partnerl He was my friend Iknow we haven't worked together before, but this case will have us working together for a while, until we eventually find your fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time, and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But don't worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force, put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being from on high decides the precinct isn't ready for a same sex couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of our adventures, will always know we were meant to be together, weirdly large age gap be damned! Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have him! But you're right. This case will definitely take at least a full year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be halloween themed. Were working together for the forseeable future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to keep secrets. And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can really get across how Not Gay I am. It's gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be stakeouts. executive producer dick wolf Source: aloverthegaf Tumblr Crime Show
Apparently, Baseball, and Beautiful: crime show: well we don't know what time she was taken but
 as you can see in this convenience store security footage
 she's mouthing something and our lip reading technology tells
 us she's saying 'those three wise men they ve got a semi by
 the sea which are lyrics to James Blunt's song Wisemen
 which was playing on that store's favoured radio station at
 approximately 3:18PM and she disappears from view exactly
 five minutes later so therefore
 m crying cause most secunty
 cams would have timestamps
 crime show: now see usually we'd manage to get a
 timestamp from the security footage but unfortunately in this
 case the cameras only record a live feed and while you would
 think this means we shouldn't be able to see the footage at
 all, luckily a famous Twutch streamer happened to be using it
 as their background footage while recording yesterday so
 jenroses
 yes, but can you blow it up and enhance it?
 unfortunately this particular footage is extremely low quality
 and very grainy but as Izoom in on this super blurry pixelated
 mage you can see the details become much clearer and
 easier to identify
 But what about the extremely specific pollen found on the
 camera lens?
 good eye! originally I didn't even notice it was there but whie
 combing through the footage I noticed three different people
 sneezed whille in view of the camera. I did some research and
 found that the particles represent the pollen of this obscure
 plant life that is native to this particular state, which really
 doesn't help us, except that it only ever blooms in the
 opposite season! So I did some digging and found four
 nurseries within a 50 mile radius, only one of which sell that
 plant all
 year round, which of course
 means
 mongolman101
 Hold on just one moment! If the twitch streamer was using the
 cameras live feed as background, then we should know the
 ime of the crime! The twitch archive should mark how long
 the streamer had been on by the time of the perpetrators
 presence onscreen, and if we know when they went live, we
 will know the time the perpetrator was in the building
 DAMNIT jONES THIS ISN'T YOUR CASE
 WELL IT'S MY CASE NOW! The Captain thinks your
 kidnapping is related to my investigation into that cult up
 state. So, apparently, we're supposed to work together. I'm
 not any happier than you are.
 but I hate sharing!
 TOUGH SHIT MCNAMARA! Your kidnapping case is
 somehow connected with that cult that's been sacrificing its
 members to in the belief that it will appease the elder god
 Cthulhu. Now, I don't like it any more than you do, and I'm
 worse at sharing than a toddler with a new favorite toy, but
 lives may well be on the line here! Are you willing to put aside
 our differences, and do what needs to be done?!
 Alright, but when we catch the perp he's mine. I don't care if
 he's sacrificed a hundred victims to goddamn Mickey Mouse!
 That man may know who killed my father, and I wont let
 anyone get in my way -not even someone with your develish
 smile.
 Do you think you're the only one who wants to find Eric's
 murderer?1 He was my partnerl He was my friend Iknow we
 haven't worked together before, but this case will have us
 working together for a while, until we eventually find your
 fathers killer. And I can see this case taking us a long time,
 and defining both of our lives for the foreseeable future. But
 don't worry McNamara, my years of experience on the force,
 put together with your grit, tenacity, and loose understanding
 of the rules will make for a great partnership, with plenty of
 laughs and sexual tension to go around. Until some being
 from on high decides the precinct isn't ready for a same sex
 couple, and I rekindle my relationship with my previously
 unmentioned ex-wife. But we, and some unknown watchers of
 our adventures, will always know we were meant to be
 together, weirdly large age gap be damned!
 Yeah, and while Eric was off playing cops and robbers with
 you, I grew up without a dad! Do you know how many times I
 stared at my baseball glove, wishing he was there to throw it
 to me? You may have lost Eric, but I never even got to have
 him!
 But you're right. This case will definitely take at least a full
 year, especially with the fact that we will be constantly
 interrupted with other, smaller cases, one of which will be
 halloween themed. Were working together for the forseeable
 future, and my playful countenance and morbid wit will very
 quickly mesh with your hardened attitude and tendency to
 keep secrets.
 And while you go back to your unhappy, stiff relationship with
 your ex wife, I will be shown having constant meaningless sex
 with a multitude of beautiful women so that the writers can
 really get across how Not Gay I am.
 It's gonna be a wild ride, Jones. And there had better be
 stakeouts.
 executive producer dick wolf
 Source: aloverthegaf
Tumblr Crime Show

Tumblr Crime Show

Ass, Facebook, and Fucking: TLC Amber Rachdi @AmberRachdi Jun 22 l here is no secret to #weightloss: the cure is widely known. Fewer calories consumed, more activity - how you get her i up to you! <p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165403586928/fakepalestine-leveractionlady" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="http://fakepalestine.tumblr.com/post/165403489138/leveractionlady" class="tumblr_blog">fakepalestine</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://leveractionlady.tumblr.com/post/147300597244">leveractionlady</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty.tumblr.com/post/147300470032">john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ariaofdoom.tumblr.com/post/147299175056">ariaofdoom</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://arizonagunguy.tumblr.com/post/147293666923">arizonagunguy</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://anti-fattitude.tumblr.com/post/143133857263">anti-fattitude</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://angryinkeddrunk.tumblr.com/post/143069313824">angryinkeddrunk</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://professorlogan81.tumblr.com/post/143043194500">professorlogan81</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://aubscares.tumblr.com/post/134803616382">aubscares</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://southparkconservative.tumblr.com/post/133558849149">southparkconservative</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazed-devils-advocate.tumblr.com/post/133553638235">crazed-devils-advocate</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://demolishfatacceptance.tumblr.com/post/133529897894">demolishfatacceptance</a>:</p> <blockquote> <p>Every fat activist says that ‘not everyone can lose weight’.</p> <p>Amber Rachdi was 600 lbs. 600 freaking lbs. See those legs; yea that’s lymphedema that was caused by her morbid obesity. </p> <p>And now look at her. Imagine her life if fat acceptance found her before the health intervention did. </p> </blockquote> <p>Yes.</p> </blockquote> <p>Love ya, Babe! You accomplish miracles by force of will, which is very difficult for many brought up on the I-want-it-now philosophy. Bravo! <br/></p> </blockquote> <p>AMBER! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! This is so inspiring and amazing. Good for you!</p> </blockquote> <p>You keep it up!</p> </blockquote> <p>WOW now this is motivating </p> </blockquote> <p>WOW. Go Amber! You can see how happy she is and how much better she feels now, just look at that glow in her face.</p> </blockquote> <p>That’s fucking nuts</p> </blockquote> <p>I watched her episode of My 600lb Life and she’s the only one I’ve seen that actually wanted to change her life and understood how important it was.</p> </blockquote> <p>I feel like I need to add this because she went so much farther in her journey than the last photo shows. This is from her public Facebook profile.</p> <figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="960" data-orig-width="960"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/457802ad4d111ff369c7e1c5693de7ea/tumblr_inline_oa7t4dXFEu1qi80gl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="960" data-orig-width="960"/></figure><p>She kicked ass and took names and saved her own life.  </p> </blockquote> <p>That is awesome!</p> </blockquote> <p>wow </p></blockquote> <p>Good on her, man</p></blockquote>
Ass, Facebook, and Fucking: TLC

 Amber Rachdi @AmberRachdi Jun 22
 l here is no secret to #weightloss: the cure
 is widely known. Fewer calories
 consumed, more activity - how you get
 her i up to you!
<p><a href="http://the-mighty-birdy.tumblr.com/post/165403586928/fakepalestine-leveractionlady" class="tumblr_blog">the-mighty-birdy</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="http://fakepalestine.tumblr.com/post/165403489138/leveractionlady" class="tumblr_blog">fakepalestine</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://leveractionlady.tumblr.com/post/147300597244">leveractionlady</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty.tumblr.com/post/147300470032">john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://ariaofdoom.tumblr.com/post/147299175056">ariaofdoom</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://arizonagunguy.tumblr.com/post/147293666923">arizonagunguy</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://anti-fattitude.tumblr.com/post/143133857263">anti-fattitude</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://angryinkeddrunk.tumblr.com/post/143069313824">angryinkeddrunk</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://professorlogan81.tumblr.com/post/143043194500">professorlogan81</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://aubscares.tumblr.com/post/134803616382">aubscares</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://southparkconservative.tumblr.com/post/133558849149">southparkconservative</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://crazed-devils-advocate.tumblr.com/post/133553638235">crazed-devils-advocate</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p><a class="tumblr_blog" href="http://demolishfatacceptance.tumblr.com/post/133529897894">demolishfatacceptance</a>:</p>
<blockquote>
<p>Every fat activist says that ‘not everyone can lose weight’.</p>
<p>Amber Rachdi was 600 lbs. 600 freaking lbs. See those legs; yea that’s 

lymphedema that was caused by her morbid obesity. </p>
<p>And now look at her. Imagine her life if fat acceptance found her before the health intervention did. </p>
</blockquote>
<p>Yes.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Love ya, Babe! You accomplish miracles by force of will, which is very difficult for many brought up on the I-want-it-now philosophy. Bravo! <br/></p>
</blockquote>
<p>AMBER! I AM SO PROUD OF YOU WHOEVER YOU ARE! This is so inspiring and amazing. Good for you!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>You keep it up!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>WOW now this is motivating </p>
</blockquote>
<p>WOW. Go Amber! You can see how happy she is and how much better she feels now, just look at that glow in her face.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>That’s fucking nuts</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I watched her episode of My 600lb Life and she’s the only one I’ve seen that actually wanted to change her life and understood how important it was.</p>
</blockquote>
<p>I feel like I need to add this because she went so much farther in her journey than the last photo shows. This is from her public Facebook profile.</p>
<figure class="tmblr-full" data-orig-height="960" data-orig-width="960"><img src="https://78.media.tumblr.com/457802ad4d111ff369c7e1c5693de7ea/tumblr_inline_oa7t4dXFEu1qi80gl_540.jpg" data-orig-height="960" data-orig-width="960"/></figure><p>She kicked ass and took names and saved her own life.  </p>
</blockquote>
<p>That is awesome!</p>
</blockquote>

<p>wow </p></blockquote>

<p>Good on her, man</p></blockquote>

the-mighty-birdy: fakepalestine: leveractionlady: john-paul-jonesing-for-liberty: ariaofdoom: arizonagunguy: anti-fattitude: angryink...

Bae, Books, and Fucking: ERROR Trump Blocked Stephen King On Twitter, So J.K. Rowling Stepped ln HuffPost 7 hours ago She's still got access, Stephen. 017.4K 566 Comments → Share Videos <p><a href="https://deverer.tumblr.com/post/161793567084/libertarirynn-i-just-had-a-stroke-from-how-much-i" class="tumblr_blog">deverer</a>:</p> <blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/161793401279/i-just-had-a-stroke-from-how-much-i-dont-care" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p><blockquote><p>I just had a stroke from how much I don’t care.</p></blockquote> <p>You know, this is just one of the reasons why I’m becoming desensitized to Trump in any sort of news. It’s because the MSM and other pathetic sites like Buzzfeed and Huffpost have to also be tabloids and focus on his SOCIAL MEDIA ACTIVITY.<br/><br/>JUST REPORT THE FUCKING NEWS! OH WAIT! YOU TRY THAT BUT YOU SKEW THE DETAILS SO MANY TIMES THAT I CAN’T TRUST YOU ANYMORE!<br/><br/>/endrant. Screw the MSM, I don’t trust news anymore, I wish these people would pull their heads out of their asses. Still not a Trump supporter.</p></blockquote> <p>I went ahead and clicked the link out of morbid curiosity. It was even worse than I thought. Probably the least newsworthy thing I&rsquo;ve seen in a long time. Here&rsquo;s the &ldquo;story&rdquo;:</p><p>&gt;Trump blocked King<br/>&gt;Rowling told King she&rsquo;d DM him Trump&rsquo;s tweets</p><p>That&rsquo;s literally it. A major news website decided that that two paragraph farce of the story was enough to make an article out of just so they could fawn over their &ldquo;woke bae&rdquo; JK Rowling, who is quickly becoming one of the most annoying public figures in existence. Her books are about the only redeeming thing about her at this point.</p>
Bae, Books, and Fucking: ERROR
 Trump Blocked Stephen King
 On Twitter, So J.K. Rowling
 Stepped ln
 HuffPost 7 hours ago
 She's still got access, Stephen.
 017.4K
 566 Comments
 → Share
 Videos
<p><a href="https://deverer.tumblr.com/post/161793567084/libertarirynn-i-just-had-a-stroke-from-how-much-i" class="tumblr_blog">deverer</a>:</p>

<blockquote><p><a href="https://libertarirynn.tumblr.com/post/161793401279/i-just-had-a-stroke-from-how-much-i-dont-care" class="tumblr_blog">libertarirynn</a>:</p><blockquote><p>I just had a stroke from how much I don’t care.</p></blockquote>
<p>You know, this is just one of the reasons why I’m becoming desensitized to Trump in any sort of news. It’s because the MSM and other pathetic sites like Buzzfeed and Huffpost have to also be tabloids and focus on his SOCIAL MEDIA ACTIVITY.<br/><br/>JUST REPORT THE FUCKING NEWS! OH WAIT! YOU TRY THAT BUT YOU SKEW THE DETAILS SO MANY TIMES THAT I CAN’T TRUST YOU ANYMORE!<br/><br/>/endrant. Screw the MSM, I don’t trust news anymore, I wish these people would pull their heads out of their asses. Still not a Trump supporter.</p></blockquote>

<p>I went ahead and clicked the link out of morbid curiosity. It was even worse than I thought. Probably the least newsworthy thing I&rsquo;ve seen in a long time. Here&rsquo;s the &ldquo;story&rdquo;:</p><p>&gt;Trump blocked King<br/>&gt;Rowling told King she&rsquo;d DM him Trump&rsquo;s tweets</p><p>That&rsquo;s literally it. A major news website decided that that two paragraph farce of the story was enough to make an article out of just so they could fawn over their &ldquo;woke bae&rdquo; JK Rowling, who is quickly becoming one of the most annoying public figures in existence. Her books are about the only redeeming thing about her at this point.</p>

deverer: libertarirynn:I just had a stroke from how much I don’t care. You know, this is just one of the reasons why I’m becoming desensiti...