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Today, Ask, and People: People ask if I'm doing ok in the Midwest today
Today, Ask, and People: People ask if I'm doing ok in the Midwest today

People ask if I'm doing ok in the Midwest today

Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: G adversity-fear-will altonzm-deactivated20170213 french recipes: if you're not making this in paris then what's the point. fuck you italian recipes: use the left leg meat of a pig from one of three farms in this specific area of tuscany, or from this day my grandmother will begin manifesting physically in your house thirdtimecharmed american recipes: buy these three cans of stuff and put them in a pan congrats you cooked svynakee chinese recipes, as handed down from mother to child: season it with a pinch of this and some of that. you want to know the exact amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars. yell into the void. English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay that's it enjoy digitalfare Greek recipes: You followed all the right steps but this isn't quite right. I don't knovw what to tell you. jamesandilys Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie Latinx recipes: you will never make it better than your abuela, face the facts Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring over the stove. the food will be flavorful with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one will appreciate it. Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon, more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy combination of the three dixon-arrows Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART TOUCH IT. LICK IT, SMELL IT beckyhop Every time l see this post, I learn more about how different countries cuisines AND neuroses. Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and that means 500 versions of this dish that has 500 spices so gl ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion. internet recipes: here is a heartwarming story about my baby sisters third birthday that i completely made up, and a copypaste from alton brown. piedude rish recipes: PO TA TOES American Midwest recipe: If it's not in a casserole dish then what the fuck are you even doing? deadmomjokes Southern US recipe: Have you tried frying it? MMMM CRISPY shinysoroka Spanish recipes: never-ending fight over whether tortilla is supposed to have onion or not. Blood will be drawn fuocogo West African Recipes: It's a metaphor, you see? You put the killing pepper right in your food, but you never eat the pepper itself never give it the power to kill you. 656,584 notes recipes around the world
Barbie, Birthday, and Facts: G adversity-fear-will
 altonzm-deactivated20170213
 french recipes: if you're not making this in
 paris then what's the point. fuck you
 italian recipes: use the left leg meat
 of a pig from one of three farms in this
 specific area of tuscany, or from this day
 my grandmother will begin manifesting
 physically in your house
 thirdtimecharmed
 american recipes: buy these three cans
 of stuff and put them in a pan congrats
 you cooked
 svynakee
 chinese recipes, as handed down from
 mother to child: season it with a pinch of this
 and some of that. you want to know the exact
 amount? feel it in your heart. ask the stars.
 yell into the void.
 English recipes: boil and salt it. Okay
 that's it enjoy
 digitalfare
 Greek recipes: You followed all the right
 steps but this isn't quite right. I don't knovw
 what to tell you.
 jamesandilys
 Australia recipes: chuck it on the barbie
 Latinx recipes: you will never make it better
 than your abuela, face the facts
 Armenian recipes: spend eight days laboring
 over the stove. the food will be flavorful
 with the sacrifice of your sanity. no one
 will appreciate it.
 Canadian recipes: It either needs more bacon,
 more maple syrup, more gravy, or an unholy
 combination of the three
 dixon-arrows
 Polish recipes: you have to toUCH THE
 DOUGH, FEEL THE PIEROGI IN YOUR HEART
 TOUCH IT. LICK IT, SMELL IT
 beckyhop
 Every time l see this post, I learn more
 about how different countries cuisines
 AND neuroses.
 Indian recipes: there are 500 cuisines and
 that means 500 versions of this dish that
 has 500 spices so gl
 ashki jewish recipes: no, no. no. more onion.
 internet recipes: here is a heartwarming
 story about my baby sisters third birthday
 that i completely made up, and a copypaste
 from alton brown.
 piedude
 rish recipes:
 PO
 TA
 TOES
 American Midwest recipe: If it's not in
 a casserole dish then what the fuck are
 you even doing?
 deadmomjokes
 Southern US recipe: Have you tried frying it?
 MMMM CRISPY
 shinysoroka
 Spanish recipes: never-ending fight over
 whether tortilla is supposed to have onion or
 not. Blood will be drawn
 fuocogo
 West African Recipes: It's a metaphor, you
 see? You put the killing pepper right in your
 food, but you never eat the pepper itself
 never give it the power to kill you.
 656,584 notes
recipes around the world

recipes around the world

Donald Trump, Fuck You, and Irish: Deborah Irish Cornaire 2Conversation Starter 6 hrs Here is George Clooney's response after Trump accused him of being a "Hollywood elite." "Here's the thing: I grew up in Kentucky. I sold insurance door-to-door. I sold ladies' shoes. I worked at an all-night liquor store. I would buy suits that were too big and too long and cut the bottom of the pants off to make ties so l'd have a tie to go on job interviews. I grew up understanding what it was like to not have health insurance for eight years. So this idea that I'm somehow the "Hollywood elite" and this guy who takes a shit in a gold toilet is somehow the man of the people is laughable. People in Hollywood, for the most part, are people from the Midwest who moved to Hollywood to have a career. So this idea of "coastal elites" living in a bubble is ridiculous. Who lives in a bigger bubble? He lives in a gold tower and has twelve people in his company. He doesn't run a corporation of hundreds of thousands of people he employs and takes care of. He ran a company of twelve people! When you direct a film you have seven different unions all wanting different things, you have to find consensus with all of them, and you have to get them moving in the same direction. He's never had to do any of that kind of stuff. I just look at it and I laugh when I see him say "Hollywood elite." Hollywood elite? I don't have a star on Hollywood Boulevard, Donald Trump has a star on Hollywood Boulevard! Fuck you!" - George Clooney actor, philanthropist, humanitarian & activist macgregorsiolalpin: Most so-called Hollywood Elites didn’t have their daddy’s giving them millions of dollars every year.
Donald Trump, Fuck You, and Irish: Deborah Irish Cornaire
 2Conversation Starter 6 hrs
 Here is George Clooney's response after Trump accused him of being a
 "Hollywood elite."
 "Here's the thing: I grew up in Kentucky. I sold insurance door-to-door. I
 sold ladies' shoes. I worked at an all-night liquor store. I would buy suits
 that were too big and too long and cut the bottom of the pants off to
 make ties so l'd have a tie to go on job interviews. I grew up
 understanding what it was like to not have health insurance for eight
 years.
 So this idea that I'm somehow the "Hollywood elite" and this guy who
 takes a shit in a gold toilet is somehow the man of the people is
 laughable.
 People in Hollywood, for the most part, are people from the Midwest who
 moved to Hollywood to have a career. So this idea of "coastal elites"
 living in a bubble is ridiculous. Who lives in a bigger bubble?
 He lives in a gold tower and has twelve people in his company. He doesn't
 run a corporation of hundreds of thousands of people he employs and
 takes care of. He ran a company of twelve people!
 When you direct a film you have seven different unions all wanting
 different things, you have to find consensus with all of them, and you
 have to get them moving in the same direction.
 He's never had to do any of that kind of stuff. I just look at it and I laugh
 when I see him say "Hollywood elite." Hollywood elite? I don't have a star
 on Hollywood Boulevard, Donald Trump has a star on Hollywood
 Boulevard! Fuck you!"
 - George Clooney
 actor, philanthropist, humanitarian & activist
macgregorsiolalpin:
Most so-called Hollywood Elites didn’t have their daddy’s giving them millions of dollars every year.

macgregorsiolalpin: Most so-called Hollywood Elites didn’t have their daddy’s giving them millions of dollars every year.

Anaconda, Birthday, and Douchebag: dex ORIGINAL NOV Windex the Bean 15 726. 2113 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it NOV 13 726. 2113 Paint Thinner Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They Paint It Black So We Can Windex NOV 13 mooncustafer: chaotic-typist: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: queen-of-heck: brightoncemore: todayiwrotenothing: gay-jesus-probably: solongstarbird: akamine-chan: phantomofthebookstore: dragonastra: jasperzilla: moose-shampoo: if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it.  You missed some of the best ones the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean. But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean. How could you forget this one though I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR. someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do? Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for. So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it. Art world is not thrilled with that. Enter Stuart Semple. Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something. Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything. Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink” Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments. Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy. He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide. Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0. So I think we can guess who got the better deal. And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated. …But not quite. Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer. No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi. The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more. Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own. So that’s been the art world for the last two years. Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack. Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday. Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.” ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT! I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page: Two things: 1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post. 2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person. Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor @decepticonsensual This just keeps getting more dramatic.
Anaconda, Birthday, and Douchebag: dex
 ORIGINAL
 NOV
 Windex the Bean
 15

 726.
 2113
 Paint the Bean black so they can't Windex it
 NOV
 13

 726.
 2113
 Paint
 Thinner
 Pour Paint Thinner On The Bean After They
 Paint It Black So We Can Windex
 NOV
 13
mooncustafer:
chaotic-typist:

0-memento-mori-0:


justaplate:

claydart:

starlitskyes:

frosttrix:

extremedistressorstellarblowjob:

queen-of-heck:


brightoncemore:

todayiwrotenothing:

gay-jesus-probably:

solongstarbird:

akamine-chan:

phantomofthebookstore:

dragonastra:

jasperzilla:

moose-shampoo:
if you’ve ever wondered what it’s like to live in the midwest, this is it. 

You missed some of the best ones 

the best part about it is that the art installation isn’t actually called the Bean. It’s called Cloud Gate, and artist Anish Kapoor (yes, THAT Anish Kapoor) hates that we call it the Bean.
But i mean, look at it. It’s a bean.


How could you forget this one though


I HAD NO FUCKING IDEA THAT THE BEAN WAS CREATED BY ANISH KAPOOR.

someone help me why is anish kapoor important what did he do?

Alright sit down for some Art World Drama bcause this is what I live for.
So, sometime last year (?) science invented Vantablack, which is the darkest possible shade of black. Art world got incredibly excited. But as it needs to be very carefully made in a lab, it’s hard to get a hold of, and is extremely expensive. Enter Anish Kapoor, aka FuckFace McGee. Anish Kapoor buys the rights to Vantablack. He is the only human being on the planet that can legally use it, and he’s kind of a prick about it.
Art world is not thrilled with that.
Enter Stuart Semple.
Stuart Semple is an artist, and also makes pigments to sell in his free time. Stuart Semple is astoundingly pissed about this Vantablack nonsense, and Anish Kapoor’s dickery. Stuart Semple makes a new pigment, the brightest shade of pink ever, called Pinkest Pink, and puts it for sale on the internet. To be bought by everybody except Anish Kapoor. Literally, to purchase, you need to confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, do not associate with him, and will not sell or give the pigment to Anish Kapoor or his associates. Art world has a good laugh, everyone buys Pinkest Pink because it’s awesome, and damn it we deserve something.
Anish Kapoor however is a penis, and will not take this lying down, because HOW DARE he not have literally everything.
Anish Kapoor gets his London associates to buy him a thing of Pinkest Pink, and being such a classy human being, posts a picture to instagram of him with his middle finger covered in Pinkest Pink, captioned with “Up yours. #pink”
Everyone flips shit, because. Y’know. Fuck that guy. Especially Stuart Semple. For context here, Anish Kapoor is one of the richest artists on the planet, and has repeatedly been referred to as everything wrong with the art world, and the epitome of the art worlds elitism problem. He’s a giant douchebag. Meanwhile Stuart Semple makes pigments just to get them out there. He turns 0 profit from his now enourmously popular pigments.
Stuart Semple launches an investigation as to who the fuck leaked Pinkest Pink, and plans to strike back. He does so by releasing two new products. First is Diamond Dust, which is a glitter made from glass, so that a painting is still visible after it’s applied, but glitters like a mofo. It’s the most reflective glitter out there, and is available to everyone who isn’t Anish Kapoor. And it being made of glass, if you stick your finger in there, it’s going to hurt quite a bit, so that was Stuart Semple’s way of saying “shove your middle finger in this, asshole, see what happens”. Except without saying that, because he can get an insult across while still being fucking classy.
He also releases Black 2.0, created with the help of over a thousand artists worldwide.
Black 2.0 is the answer to Vantablack. Black 2.0 is a slightly less black black, but looks functionally the same to the human eye. It’s completely safe, smells like cherries, and costs four pounds. Vantablack is highly toxic, potentially explosive, needs to be applied in a special laboratory and sealed properly, can’t be moved across borders, can reach 300 degrees celsius if you’re not extremely careful, and costs thousands of dollars. Anish Kapoor is the only human being who can use Vantablack. He is the only human being who cannot use Black 2.0.
So I think we can guess who got the better deal.
And thus the feud ends, Kapoor defeated.
…But not quite.
Kapoor, in this entire afair, has made exactly two comments to the public. The first being his charming message about aquiring Pinkest Pink, the second being claiming to Buzzfeed that he and his small army of lawyers will be suing Semple, an extremely poor artist who cannot afford a lawyer.
No lawsuit has been made yet, fyi.
The point is, Kapoor is a prick, and doesn’t like talking to the lower classes. So one day in July 2017, he decides he needs another floor on his London studio apartment, and starts making arrangements to have it built. His neighbors are fucking pissed, because this will ruin the light of their apartments. They call to Semple to save them, or at the very least piss Kapoor off some more.
Semple answers to the call, and releases two new paints, Phaze and Shift, as always, banned to Kapoor. They change colours, Phaze with temperature, and Shift is just iridescent. Shift needs to be painted over Black 2.0 to work, and Phaze just works on its own.
So that’s been the art world for the last two years.
Basically, get fucked Anish Kapoor your bean sucks and so does your vantablack.

Stuart Semple is organising a bean-kissing event for Anish Kapoor’s birthday.


Reblogging for “By attending this event you confirm that you are not Anish Kapoor, you are in no way affiliated with Anish Kapoor, you are not attending on behalf of Anish Kapoor or an associate of Anish Kapoor. To the best of your knowledge, information, and belief this event will not be attended by Anish Kapoor.”


ALSO HE JUST POSTED THIS!!!!!! LIGHTEST LIGHT!


I know this isn’t my art blog but this entire post gives me life 

im sorry is that man holding a real actual miniature star in his hands

Y’all missed the best part about the lightest light, called aptly ‘Lit’. This is from their product page:

Two things:
1. “Anish Kapoor is however a penis” is the best line in this post.
2. I wish to be half as petty and half as awesome as Stuart Semple


I hope Stuart Semple is making a lot of money. What a good person.

Go support him the paint’s are pretty cheap and you get the added bonus of being one of many to help piss off Anish Kapoor


@decepticonsensual 

This just keeps getting more dramatic.

mooncustafer: chaotic-typist: 0-memento-mori-0: justaplate: claydart: starlitskyes: frosttrix: extremedistressorstellarblowjob: quee...