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Dad, Grandma, and Head: Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery On yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so he can see her gravestone. WHAT I can't tell you how many times I've heard some version of this awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery Seniously, I cringe every single time someone tells me about their plan" to remind a loved one that their loved one is dead I also hear this a lot: 1 keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and sometimes she recalls it once I've said it. That's still not a good thing. Why are we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away? If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgoten that a loved one is dead, don't remind them. What's the point of reintroducing that kind of pain? Here's the thing they will forget again, and they will ask again. You're never, ever, ever, going to "convince them of something permanently Instead, do this Dad, where do you think mom is? When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it sounds correct. For example, it he says, "1 think mom is at work,"say, "Yes, that sounds right, I think she must be at work. it he says, 1 think she passed away say, Yes, she passed away People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook to come up with something" that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you drgaellon I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that a loved one has died isn't a kindness, it's a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss every time, even if they don't remember the grief 15 minutes later In other words, don't try to impose your timeline on them in order to make yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them They won't magically return to your real world'. No matter how much you might want them to. It's a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don't be the one ripping off the bandage every single time prismatic-bell I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was CONVINCED I was her sister, who'd died 40 years earlier. And every time one of the nurses said דhat's not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?" Alice would start sobbing So finally one day Alice did the whole JANET IS HERE and this nurse rather nastily went Janet is dead and before it could go any furtherI said "excuse mer?? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?" The nurse was pissed, because I was feeding Alice's delusions. Alice didn't have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer's. But I made sure it went into Alice's chart that she responded positively to being allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific patient referred to me as-Nina. in front of Alice-everyone else called me Janet. and when Alice said my name wasn't Nina I just said "oh, it's a nickname, that's all."It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole to someone wah Alzheimer's or dementia. Be kind I wish I had heard this stuft when Grandma was still here satr9 I read once that you have to treat dementia patilents more like it's improv, like you have to take what they say and say to yourself ok, and" and give them more of a story to occupy them and not just shut it down with something super harsh A nurse I used to work with always told us: Tf a man with dementia is trying to get out of bed to go to work, don't tell him he's 90 and in a nursing home. Tell him it's Sunday and he can stay in bed. If a woman with dementia is trying to stand because she wants to get her husband's dinner out of the oven, don't tel her he's been dead for 20 years. Tell her you'll do for her and she can sit back down Always remembered that, always did it. Nothing worse than hearing someone with memory loss ask the same question over and over again only to be met with: "We already told youl" Just tell them again steel-phoenix I've worked with elderly dementia patients, and I agree with all the above. Treat them as you'd like to be treated in the same situation ruby-white-rabbit Same. I've worked with patients like these and even my grandma was convinced for a day that I was my aunt. Just roll with it lazulisong My go-to response to someone asking if I've seen a dead loved one is "I haven't seen them today, but if I do I'll let them know you were looking for them. Cause you know what, if I DID see them I wouild tell them, so it always comes out sounding truthtul Source dementiabyday.com 99.289 notes PSA for those whose loved ones have dementia
Dad, Grandma, and Head: Stop taking people with
 dementia to the cemetery
 On yeah, every time that dad forgets mom is dead, we head to the cemetery so
 he can see her gravestone.
 WHAT I can't tell you how many times I've heard some version of this
 awful story. Stop taking people with dementia to the cemetery Seniously, I
 cringe every single time someone tells me about their plan" to remind a loved
 one that their loved one is dead
 I also hear this a lot: 1 keep reminding mom that her sister is dead, and
 sometimes she recalls it once I've said it. That's still not a good thing. Why are
 we trying to force people to remember that their loved ones have passed away?
 If your loved one with dementia has lost track of their timeline, and forgoten that
 a loved one is dead, don't remind them. What's the point of reintroducing that
 kind of pain? Here's the thing they will forget again, and they will ask again.
 You're never, ever, ever, going to "convince them of something permanently
 Instead, do this
 Dad, where do you think mom is?
 When he tells you the answer, repeat that answer to him and assert that it
 sounds correct. For example, it he says, "1 think mom is at work,"say, "Yes, that
 sounds right, I think she must be at work. it he says, 1 think she passed away
 say, Yes, she passed away
 People like the answer that they gave you. Also, it takes you off the hook
 to come up with something" that satisfies them. Then, twenty minutes later
 when they ask where mom is, repeat what they originally told you
 drgaellon
 I support this sentiment. Repeatedly reminding someone with faulty memory that
 a loved one has died isn't a kindness, it's a cruelty. They have to relieve the loss
 every time, even if they don't remember the grief 15 minutes later
 In other words, don't try to impose your timeline on them in order to make
 yourself feel better. Correcting an afflicted dementia patient will not cure them
 They won't magically return to your real world'. No matter how much you might
 want them to.
 It's a kindness of old age, forgetting. Life can be very painful. Don't be the one
 ripping off the bandage every single time
 prismatic-bell
 I used to work as a companion in a nursing home where one of the patients was
 CONVINCED I was her sister, who'd died 40 years earlier. And every time one of
 the nurses said דhat's not Janet, Janet is dead, Alice, remember?" Alice would
 start sobbing
 So finally one day Alice did the whole JANET IS HERE and this nurse rather
 nastily went Janet is dead and before it could go any furtherI said "excuse
 mer?? How dare you say something so horrible to my sister?"
 The nurse was pissed, because I was feeding Alice's delusions. Alice didn't
 have delusions. Alice had Alzheimer's.
 But I made sure it went into Alice's chart that she responded positively to being
 allowed to believe I was Janet. And from that point forward, only my specific
 patient referred to me as-Nina. in front of Alice-everyone else called me Janet.
 and when Alice said my name wasn't Nina I just said "oh, it's a nickname, that's
 all."It kept her calm and happy and not sobbing every time she saw me
 It costs zero dollars (and maybe a little bit of fast thinking) to not be an asshole
 to someone wah Alzheimer's or dementia. Be kind
 I wish I had heard this stuft when Grandma was still here
 satr9
 I read once that you have to treat dementia patilents more like it's improv, like
 you have to take what they say and say to yourself ok, and" and give them
 more of a story to occupy them and not just shut it down with something super
 harsh
 A nurse I used to work with always told us: Tf a man with dementia is trying to
 get out of bed to go to work, don't tell him he's 90 and in a nursing home. Tell
 him it's Sunday and he can stay in bed. If a woman with dementia is trying to
 stand because she wants to get her husband's dinner out of the oven, don't tel
 her he's been dead for 20 years. Tell her you'll do for her and she can sit back
 down
 Always remembered that, always did it. Nothing worse than hearing someone
 with memory loss ask the same question over and over again only to be met
 with: "We already told youl"
 Just tell them again
 steel-phoenix
 I've worked with elderly dementia patients, and I agree with all the above. Treat
 them as you'd like to be treated in the same situation
 ruby-white-rabbit
 Same. I've worked with patients like these and even my grandma was convinced
 for a day that I was my aunt. Just roll with it
 lazulisong
 My go-to response to someone asking if I've seen a dead loved one is "I haven't
 seen them today, but if I do I'll let them know you were looking for them. Cause
 you know what, if I DID see them I wouild tell them, so it always comes out
 sounding truthtul
 Source dementiabyday.com
 99.289 notes
PSA for those whose loved ones have dementia

PSA for those whose loved ones have dementia

Memes, 🤖, and Mer: albo me albo mer My constant. (By @maritsapatrinos) . . . . . bibliophile bookstore booklover booksofinstagram webcomic
Memes, 🤖, and Mer: albo me
 albo mer
My constant. (By @maritsapatrinos) . . . . . bibliophile bookstore booklover booksofinstagram webcomic

My constant. (By @maritsapatrinos) . . . . . bibliophile bookstore booklover booksofinstagram webcomic