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Anna, Christmas, and Family: REI TILtilthat I L TIL that Spain had a king who was so malformed due to incest that he couldn't close his mouth and ended up destroying his entire dynasty via ift.tt neeetsocks thats just how spaniards be whittneydoll hey lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear friendly-neighborhood-patriarch the monumental ugliness of El Hechizado always astonishes me nunyabizni The Hapsburg's were a unique bunch weren't they nobodys-favorite-machinist The Ancestry of King Charles II of Spain (1661-1700) Philip of Castile (1478-1505) Joanna of Castile (1479-1555) Charles V. Holy Roman Emperor (1500-58) Isabella of Portugal (1503-39) Isabella of Burgundy (1501-26 Anna of Bohemia and Hungary (1503-47 Ferdinand I, Holy Roman Emperor (1503-64) Christian I of Denmark (1481-1559) Philip of Spain (1527-96) Christina of Denmark (1522-90) Anne of Albert V, Duke Habsburg of Bavaria (1528-90) (1528-79) Mana of Spain (1528-1603) Charles of Austria (1540-90) Maximillan II, Holy Roman Emperor (1527-76) Francis 1, Duke of Lorraine (1517-45 Anne of Austria (1549-80) Maria Anna of Bavaria (1551-1608) Renata of Lorraine (1544-1602) William V, Duke of Bavaria (1548-1626) Margarita of Austria (1584-1611) Philip I of Spain (1578-1621) Maria Anna of Bavaria Ferdinand II, Holy Roman Emperor (1578-1637) (1574-1616 Maria Anna of Spain (1606-46 Philip V of Spain (1605-65) Ferdinand III, Holy Roman Emperor (1608-57) Manana of Austria (1634-96 Charles l of Spain (1661-1700) His family tree was a fucking Christmas wreath. his body "did not contain a single drop of blood his heart was the size of a peppercorn short lame, epileptic senile his lungs corroded: his intestines rotten and gangrenous; completely bald before 35 he had a single testicle, black as coal, always on the verge of death, he repeatedly bafled Christendom by continuing to live his head was ul fwater In case you wanted to know what his coroner thought of him. Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh
Anna, Christmas, and Family: REI
 TILtilthat
 I L
 TIL that Spain had a king who was so malformed
 due to incest that he couldn't close his mouth and
 ended up destroying his entire dynasty
 via ift.tt
 neeetsocks
 thats just how spaniards be
 whittneydoll
 hey lil mama lemme whisper in ya ear
 friendly-neighborhood-patriarch
 the monumental ugliness of El Hechizado always
 astonishes me
 nunyabizni
 The Hapsburg's were a unique bunch weren't they
 nobodys-favorite-machinist
 The Ancestry of King Charles II of Spain
 (1661-1700)
 Philip of Castile
 (1478-1505)
 Joanna of Castile
 (1479-1555)
 Charles V. Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1500-58)
 Isabella of
 Portugal
 (1503-39)
 Isabella of
 Burgundy
 (1501-26
 Anna of Bohemia
 and Hungary
 (1503-47
 Ferdinand I, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1503-64)
 Christian I
 of Denmark
 (1481-1559)
 Philip
 of Spain
 (1527-96)
 Christina of
 Denmark
 (1522-90)
 Anne of Albert V, Duke
 Habsburg of Bavaria
 (1528-90) (1528-79)
 Mana of
 Spain
 (1528-1603)
 Charles
 of Austria
 (1540-90)
 Maximillan II, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1527-76)
 Francis 1, Duke
 of Lorraine
 (1517-45
 Anne of
 Austria
 (1549-80)
 Maria Anna
 of Bavaria
 (1551-1608)
 Renata of
 Lorraine
 (1544-1602)
 William V, Duke
 of Bavaria
 (1548-1626)
 Margarita of
 Austria
 (1584-1611)
 Philip I
 of Spain
 (1578-1621)
 Maria Anna
 of Bavaria
 Ferdinand II, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1578-1637)
 (1574-1616
 Maria Anna
 of Spain
 (1606-46
 Philip V
 of Spain
 (1605-65)
 Ferdinand III, Holy
 Roman Emperor
 (1608-57)
 Manana of
 Austria
 (1634-96
 Charles l of Spain
 (1661-1700)
 His family tree was a fucking Christmas wreath.
 his body "did not contain a single drop of blood
 his heart was the size of a peppercorn
 short
 lame, epileptic
 senile
 his lungs corroded:
 his intestines rotten and
 gangrenous;
 completely bald before 35
 he had a single testicle,
 black as coal,
 always on the verge of death,
 he
 repeatedly bafled Christendom by
 continuing to
 live
 his head was ul fwater
 In case you wanted to know what his coroner
 thought of him.
Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh

Spanish History: 30 Times Tumblr Accidentally Taught Me Something While Making Me Laugh

Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I tried to steal a large, expensive bottle of beer from a house I cleverly hid it by stuffing it into my pants. party I was attending. I knew there was only one thing I could do to make this right. But as I was saying goodbye... The bottle fell out and shattered on the ground. 0 SNASH T ran the hell away. Collegelumon ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... CollegeHumor I went online and became an ordained minister. This is the number one best idea. QUIKMINISTER.BIZ "Twice as holy for half the price!" SIGN UP TODAY! So now, when you sneeze, and I say "bless you"... It secretly means so much more. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I started doing magic tricks for all of the employees at a bar. Whether they wanted to see them or not. Whassat behind yer ear...? Ish... thish yer card? uh, yeah actually! It's a shot! A few months later, I went back to that bar, assuming that by now no one would remember my embarrasing magic show. But the bouncer recognized me... Yeah, you're the guy with all the magic tricks, right? Hey pal, don'tIknow you from somewhere? well I've got one say to you... thing to WE STILL TALK THAT WAS SO AWESOME! ABOUT IT ALL THE TIME! CollegeHumor ...He was a big fan. ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK... I got super nauseous while I was riding in the car with friends so I barfed out the window, all over everyone in the back seat... ...and directly onto the windshield of the police car behind us. We got pulled over, and everyone in the car got a ticket... SPLAT!! CollegeHumon ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on. madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH
nsfw
Beer, Drunk, and Friends: ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I tried to steal a large, expensive
 bottle of beer from a house
 I cleverly hid it by stuffing
 it into my pants.
 party I was attending.
 I knew there was only
 one thing I could do
 to make this right.
 But as I was saying
 goodbye...
 The bottle fell out
 and shattered
 on the ground.
 0
 SNASH
 T ran the hell away.
 Collegelumon

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 CollegeHumor
 I went online and became an
 ordained minister.
 This is the number
 one best idea.
 QUIKMINISTER.BIZ
 "Twice as holy for
 half the price!"
 SIGN UP TODAY!
 So now, when you sneeze, and I
 say "bless you"...
 It secretly means so much more.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I started doing magic tricks for
 all of the employees at a bar.
 Whether they wanted to see
 them or not.
 Whassat behind yer ear...?
 Ish... thish yer card?
 uh, yeah actually!
 It's a shot!
 A few months later, I went back to that bar,
 assuming that by now no one would remember
 my embarrasing magic show.
 But the bouncer recognized me...
 Yeah, you're the guy with all
 the magic tricks, right?
 Hey pal, don'tIknow you from
 somewhere?
 well I've got one
 say to you...
 thing to
 WE STILL TALK
 THAT WAS SO AWESOME!
 ABOUT IT ALL
 THE TIME!
 CollegeHumor
 ...He was a
 big fan.

 ONE TIME, WHEN I WAS DRUNK...
 I got super nauseous while I was
 riding in the car with friends
 so I barfed out the window, all
 over everyone in the back seat...
 ...and directly onto the
 windshield of the police car
 behind us.
 We got pulled over, and
 everyone in the car got a ticket...
 SPLAT!!
 CollegeHumon
 ...except for me, because I was the only one with my seatbelt on.
madamebomb:

pr1nceshawn:

One time, when I was drunk…

THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

madamebomb: pr1nceshawn: One time, when I was drunk… THAT LAST ONE NEVER FAILS TO MAKE ME LAUGH

Candy, Christmas, and Gif: 67%- al AT&T LTE 10:40 AM Amelia YOU MATCHED WITH AMELIA ON 6/23/18 A lost duck is walking through the forest. Which way does he go? To the left The duck waddles along and ends up by a lake. Farther along the shore is a bridge he can cross to get to the other side. Should the duck swim across the lake or go towards the bridge? Bridge Also... why is there a Christmas tree outside With night approaching the duck crosses the bridge. Smart decision as alligators are seen hiding in the lake. The duck has a weird feeling there might have been treasure under the Christmas tree he passed. "Too late" he says to himself. On the other side the duck finds an abandoned mining town. However, power is still running. Should the duck investigate one of the houses or pass through the town towards the mountain? Omg this is a risky choice but the duck should investigate the house The duck is hesitant but decides to investigate the house. He finds that the front door is unlocked and slowly opens it, searching for any danger. He finds nothing of danger but keeps his guard up. In the entry way is an old Christmas tree, a desk with a phone and two doors. Where should he go? The Christmas tree The duck investigates under the Christmas tree and finds some old presents. With no one living in the town he decides to open them. He finds a hat making him feel way cooler, and some candy that he decides to eat. "Man I'm cool" says the duck. Should the duck leave or continue to investigate the house? Continue to investigate The duck looks into the two doors and finds the rooms are empty. "They must've left ina hurry" he says. The duck waddles to the desk and searches it finding nothing but a torn note. On it is written "Amelia's number" but the rest of the note is gone. The duck wonders if he should try a random phone number or leave the house and head towards the mountain. What should he do? Sunday 9:58 PM Try a random phone number Yesterday 4:31 PM The duck wonders what Amelia's phone number could be. What number should he try? Sent Today 10:06 AM Type a message Send GIF Apologies if it’s a repost. It made me laugh
Candy, Christmas, and Gif: 67%-
 al AT&T LTE
 10:40 AM
 Amelia
 YOU MATCHED WITH AMELIA ON 6/23/18
 A lost duck is walking through the
 forest. Which way does he go?
 To the left
 The duck waddles along and ends up
 by a lake. Farther along the shore is a
 bridge he can cross to get to the other
 side. Should the duck swim across the
 lake or go towards the bridge?
 Bridge
 Also... why is there a Christmas tree
 outside
 With night approaching the duck
 crosses the bridge. Smart decision as
 alligators are seen hiding in the lake.
 The duck has a weird feeling there
 might have been treasure under the
 Christmas tree he passed. "Too late"
 he says to himself. On the other side
 the duck finds an abandoned mining
 town. However, power is still running.
 Should the duck investigate one of the
 houses or pass through the town
 towards the mountain?
 Omg this is a risky choice but the duck
 should investigate the house
 The duck is hesitant but decides to
 investigate the house. He finds that
 the front door is unlocked and slowly
 opens it, searching for any danger. He
 finds nothing of danger but keeps his
 guard up. In the entry way is an old
 Christmas tree, a desk with a phone
 and two doors. Where should he go?
 The Christmas tree
 The duck investigates under the
 Christmas tree and finds some old
 presents. With no one living in the
 town he decides to open them. He
 finds a hat making him feel way
 cooler, and some candy that he
 decides to eat. "Man I'm cool" says
 the duck. Should the duck leave or
 continue to investigate the house?
 Continue to investigate
 The duck looks into the two doors and
 finds the rooms are empty. "They
 must've left ina hurry" he says. The
 duck waddles to the desk and
 searches it finding nothing but a torn
 note. On it is written "Amelia's
 number" but the rest of the note is
 gone. The duck wonders if he should
 try a random phone number or leave
 the house and head towards the
 mountain. What should he do?
 Sunday 9:58 PM
 Try a random phone number
 Yesterday 4:31 PM
 The duck wonders what Amelia's
 phone number could be. What number
 should he try?
 Sent
 Today 10:06 AM
 Type a message
 Send
 GIF
Apologies if it’s a repost. It made me laugh

Apologies if it’s a repost. It made me laugh