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Africa, Amazon, and Children: The Ladies Finger THE LADIES Follow FINGER heLadiesFinger They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling RETWEETS LIKES Seadimo Follow ] @SeadimoTlale Tomi Adeyemi. Say her name! Shes 23. Shes Black. Woman. Harvard. Shes got a 7 figure contract and movie deal for a book that's not even out! The Ladies Finger@TheLadiesFinger They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling theladiesfinger.com/tomi-adeyemi/ RETWEETS LIKES 8,1819,104 dkafterdark: sunshinepeonies: kendrawriter: nevaehtyler: “Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a young girl’s battle with a prince over bringing magic back to West Africa,  is going to be released some time next year. But it’s already got a seven-figure publishing deal with Macmillan, and a massive deal with Fox Studios too, with the latter acquiring the movie rights pretty early on in the day for a book that hasn’t even been published yet.” Source (x) OH MY GOD MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY. GOOD FOR HER! AND I CANNTO WAIT TO READ THESE! And you know what, all this does is inspire me. If she can do it, I can do it. We can do it.  I don’t know if it’s because I have Prime BUT the Kindle version was free for me just now (Jan. 9, 2018). GO CHECK IT OUT!! The first six chapters are available for free as a sneak peek from Amazon
Africa, Amazon, and Children: The Ladies Finger
 THE
 LADIES
 Follow
 FINGER heLadiesFinger
 They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the
 next J.K. Rowling
 RETWEETS
 LIKES

 Seadimo
 Follow
 ] @SeadimoTlale
 Tomi Adeyemi. Say her name! Shes 23. Shes
 Black. Woman. Harvard. Shes got a 7 figure
 contract and movie deal for a book that's not
 even out!
 The Ladies Finger@TheLadiesFinger
 They're calling this 23-year-old novelist the next J.K. Rowling
 theladiesfinger.com/tomi-adeyemi/
 RETWEETS
 LIKES
 8,1819,104
dkafterdark:
sunshinepeonies:

kendrawriter:

nevaehtyler:



“Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a young girl’s battle with a prince over bringing magic back to West Africa,  is going to be released some time next year. But it’s already got a seven-figure publishing deal with Macmillan, and a massive deal with Fox Studios too, with the latter acquiring the movie rights pretty early on in the day for a book that hasn’t even been published yet.”
Source (x)

OH MY GOD MY SOUL JUST LEFT MY BODY. GOOD FOR HER! AND I CANNTO WAIT TO READ THESE!
And you know what, all this does is inspire me. If she can do it, I can do it. We can do it. 

I don’t know if it’s because I have Prime BUT the Kindle version was free for me just now (Jan. 9, 2018). GO CHECK IT OUT!!


The first six chapters are available for free as a sneak peek from Amazon

dkafterdark: sunshinepeonies: kendrawriter: nevaehtyler: “Her fantasy novel Children of Blood and Bone, the first of a trilogy about a ...

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one night to the smell of smoke, you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway scream unable to accept your Screi doom. That's when Yesterday 10:31 pm Bill and hitler You lie down and Surely that's the only reasonable answer your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for vou dear life as he takes you e and places you on the grass "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u Yesterday 10:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice but I admire your conviction. He bt's the last you ever see back inside, but runs alas, of him You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in mparison to the heartbreak you Today 12:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage. Today 1:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Type a message Send Type a message Send Iidppess IS. Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me. having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young Today 3:17 am couple come in, they remind you Can I change my answer डि ग कार सा much of your parents except ा they've already got a क पाCgical Be my guest son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family a f your last chance at livinga shildhood, When the time has as Me so I never have to think about that again come for them to formally tell the which child orphanage matron they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage, get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness is. That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Today 10:22 am Okay pls don't unmatch, this is important stuff now. But do you think it's sometimes better to ask forgiveness rather than permission? I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Yes Type a message Send Type a message.. Send Why he hates Stuart Little
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: You got two bullets. You're in a
 room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi
 B, a massive spider and Stuart
 Little. Who you shooting?
 Your days are filled with fun and
 kindness as your loving parents
 try to nurture you in the most
 pleasant environment possible.
 One day you awaken one night to
 the smell of smoke, you open your
 eyes and begin to choke, you try
 to find your parents but you can't
 get past the toddler-proof gate in
 the doorway
 scream unable to accept your
 Screi doom. That's when
 Yesterday 10:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 You lie down and
 Surely that's the only reasonable
 answer
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for vou
 dear life as he takes you e
 and places you on the grass
 "IHAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!u
 Yesterday 10:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer is
 to shoot Stuart twice but I admire
 your conviction.
 He bt's the last you ever see
 back inside, but
 runs
 alas,
 of him
 You escape the ordeal with minor
 scarring, but it's nothing in
 mparison to the heartbreak you
 Today 12:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for that
 one pls sir
 felt that night. You have no
 grandparents, no aunties or
 uncles, no guardians whatsoever,
 and as a result, are forced to live
 in an orphanage.
 Today 1:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother and
 father who love you very much.
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message
 Send
 Iidppess IS.
 Day, weeks, months, years go by,
 and as you watch all the other
 orphans leave with their new
 foster parents, you're hopes of
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me.
 having a happy life diminish more
 and more. One day a young
 Today 3:17 am
 couple come in, they remind you
 Can I change my answer
 डि ग कार सा
 much of your parents except
 ा
 they've already got a
 क पाCgical
 Be my guest
 son. But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make
 an impression on
 this family a f your last
 chance at livinga
 shildhood, When the time has
 as
 Me so I never have to think about
 that again
 come for them to formally tell the
 which child
 orphanage matron
 they are going to adopt, you
 eagerly await your name to be
 announced. That's when they
 adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD
 OF YOU. This destroys your
 morale, you give up, you run away
 from the orphanage, get raised by
 the streets as a petty pickpocket,
 you'll never remember what true
 happiness is.
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Today 10:22 am
 Okay pls don't unmatch, this is
 important stuff now. But do you
 think it's sometimes better to ask
 forgiveness rather than
 permission?
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Yes
 Type a message
 Send
 Type a message..
 Send
Why he hates Stuart Little

Why he hates Stuart Little

Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32 You got two bullets. You're in a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby, Cardi B, a massive spider and Stuart Little. Who you shooting? Wednesday 11:31 pm Bill and hitler Surely that's the only reasonable answer Wednesday 11:49 pm Actually no! The correct answer is to shoot Stuart twice butI admire your conviction. Today 1:40 am Can I get an explanation for that one pls sir Today 2:11 am Sure can. Imagine this. You are four years old, and you've got a mother and father who love you very much. Your days are filled with fun and kindness as your loving parents try to nurture you in the most pleasant environment possible. One day you awaken one to the smell of smoke, night you open your eyes and begin to choke, you try to find your parents but you can't get past the toddler-proof gate in the doorway. You lie down and scream, unable to accept your impending doom. That's when your father rushes in to collect you, you cling onto him for your dear life as he takes you outside and places you on the grass. "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!" He bravely runs back inside, but alas, that's the last you ever see of him. You escape the ordeal with minor scarring, but it's nothing in comparison to the heartbreak you felt that night. You have no grandparents, no aunties or uncles, no guardians whatsoever, and as a result, are forced to live in an orphanage Day, weeks, months, years go by, and as you watch all the other orphans leave with their new foster parents, you're hopes of having a happy life diminish more and more. One day a young couple come in, they remind you much of your parents except they've already got a biological son. But that's okay. You try extra hard to make an impression on this family as this may be your last chance at living a fulfilled childhood. When the time has come for them to formally tell the orphanage matron which child they are going to adopt, you eagerly await your name to be announced. That's when they adopt A FUCKING RAT INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys your morale, you give up, you run away from the orphanage get raised by the streets as a petty pickpocket, you'll never remember what true happiness Is I'll never forget what Stuart Little took from me Today 4:17 am Can I change my answer Be my guest Me so I never have to think about that again That's the spirit. Next time I can tell you about the time Shrek cyberbullied me if you want. Sent Type a message GIF Why I hate Stuart Little.
Bill Cosby, Family, and Fucking: 4:32
 You got two bullets. You're in
 a room with Hitler, Bill Cosby,
 Cardi B, a massive spider and
 Stuart Little. Who you shooting?
 Wednesday 11:31 pm
 Bill and hitler
 Surely that's the only
 reasonable answer
 Wednesday 11:49 pm
 Actually no! The correct answer
 is to shoot Stuart twice butI
 admire your conviction.
 Today 1:40 am
 Can I get an explanation for
 that one pls sir
 Today 2:11 am
 Sure can.
 Imagine this. You are four years
 old, and you've got a mother
 and father who love you very
 much. Your days are filled with
 fun and kindness as your loving
 parents try to nurture you in
 the most pleasant environment
 possible.
 One day you awaken one
 to the smell of smoke,
 night
 you open your eyes and begin
 to choke, you try to find your
 parents but you can't get past
 the toddler-proof gate in the
 doorway. You lie down and
 scream, unable to accept your
 impending doom. That's when
 your father rushes in to collect
 you, you cling onto him for your
 dear life as he takes you outside
 and places you on the grass.
 "I HAVE TO GO GET MUMMY!"
 He bravely runs back inside, but
 alas, that's the last you ever see
 of him.
 You escape the ordeal with
 minor scarring, but it's nothing
 in comparison to the heartbreak
 you felt that night. You have
 no grandparents, no aunties
 or uncles, no guardians
 whatsoever, and as a result, are
 forced to live in an orphanage
 Day, weeks, months, years go
 by, and as you watch all the
 other orphans leave with their
 new foster parents, you're
 hopes of having a happy life
 diminish more and more. One
 day a young couple come
 in, they remind you much of
 your parents except they've
 already got a biological son.
 But that's okay. You try extra
 hard to make an impression on
 this family as this may be your
 last chance at living a fulfilled
 childhood. When the time has
 come for them to formally tell
 the orphanage matron which
 child they are going to adopt,
 you eagerly await your name
 to be announced. That's when
 they adopt A FUCKING RAT
 INSTEAD OF YOU. This destroys
 your morale, you give up, you
 run away from the orphanage
 get raised by the streets as a
 petty pickpocket, you'll never
 remember what true happiness
 Is
 I'll never forget what Stuart Little
 took from me
 Today 4:17 am
 Can I change my answer
 Be my guest
 Me so I never have to think
 about that again
 That's the spirit. Next time I can
 tell you about the time Shrek
 cyberbullied me if you want.
 Sent
 Type a message
 GIF
Why I hate Stuart Little.

Why I hate Stuart Little.

Nas, Nasa, and News: neopetcemetery Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily basis to let in blasts of solar win... metro.co.uk 5h someone has waited their entire career to use this headline goopy-amethyst Scientist should say something else infamy-and-plunder Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Metro.. metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som... 20 Dec 2017 In the distant past, Uranus took an absolute pounding, say researchers, without even cracking a smile. My isn't Uranus full of surprises? Researchers.. There's something very hard heading towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther... 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have long suspected it, but there is something very, very hard near Uranus rains of solid diamonds to be precise. Stanford researchers now believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. .. Extremely high pressure squeezes.. Uranus will be on display to the entire world later this month Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura... 3 Oct 2017 It's every schoolboy's favourite planet- and this month, millions of people will be staring at Uranus. Uranus will be on display on October 19, as the planet... Scientists spot a massive floater hanging around Uranus | Metro News metro.co.uk News Science 5 Sep 2017 Another week, another mystery found right next to Uranus - as scientists discover that the moon Cressida would actually float in a tub of water. NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before | Metro News metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas... This guy needs a raise therothwoman Something huge went into Uranus and left it absolutely ruined Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus than ever before Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am Something huge and hard went into Uranus and it got very messy Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of hot wind', scientists claim Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm This hero's name is Rob Waugh Source: neopetcemetery 233,094 notes A
Nas, Nasa, and News: neopetcemetery
 Uranus 'gapes wide
 open for blasts of hot
 wind', scientists claim
 Uranus 'opens wide' on a daily
 basis to let in blasts of solar win...
 metro.co.uk 5h
 someone has waited their entire career to use this
 headline
 goopy-amethyst
 Scientist should say something else
 infamy-and-plunder
 Something huge and hard went into Uranus
 and it got very messy Metro..
 metro.co.uk 2017/12/20 som...
 20 Dec 2017 In the distant
 past, Uranus took an absolute
 pounding, say researchers,
 without even cracking a smile.
 My isn't Uranus full of
 surprises? Researchers..
 There's something very hard heading
 towards Uranus, scientists .. Metro
 metro.co.uk 2017/08/28 ther...
 28 Aug 2017 Scientists have
 long suspected it, but there is
 something very, very hard near
 Uranus rains of solid
 diamonds to be precise.
 Stanford researchers now
 believe that huge diamonds - possibly millions of
 carats -sink towards the core of Uranus. ..
 Extremely high pressure squeezes..
 Uranus will be on display to the entire world
 later this month Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/10/03 ura...
 3 Oct 2017 It's every
 schoolboy's favourite planet-
 and this month, millions of
 people will be staring at
 Uranus. Uranus will be on
 display on October 19, as the
 planet...
 Scientists spot a massive floater hanging
 around Uranus | Metro News
 metro.co.uk News Science
 5 Sep 2017 Another week,
 another mystery found right
 next to Uranus - as scientists
 discover that the moon
 Cressida would actually float
 in a tub of water.
 NASA wants to probe deeper into Uranus
 than ever before | Metro News
 metro.co.uk 2017/06/19 nas...
 This guy needs a raise
 therothwoman
 Something huge went into Uranus and
 left it absolutely ruined
 Rob Waugh Monday 2 Jul 2018 10:00 pm
 NASA wants to probe deeper into
 Uranus than ever before
 Rob Waugh Monday 19 Jun 2017 11:15 am
 Something huge and hard went into
 Uranus and it got very messy
 Rob Waugh Wednesday 20 Dec 2017 9:42 am
 Uranus 'gapes wide open for blasts of
 hot wind', scientists claim
 Rob Waugh Tuesday 27 Jun 2017 4:12 pm
 This hero's name is Rob Waugh
 Source: neopetcemetery
 233,094 notes
 A

Books, Children, and Fuck You: The Verge @verge HBO Max locks down exclusive access to new Sesame Street episodes theverge.com/2019/10/3/2089 gSAME STREET 7:20 PM Oct 3, 2019 Vox Media #DearNonnatives @dearnonnatives This show was supposed to be free to help prepare low-income children for school. Fuck you HBO thefloatingstone: scottandhiskind: thefandomdropout: Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street  Okay but this doesn’t tell the full story. The only reason Sesame Street was sold to HBO, was because it was literally on the verge of being cancelled. This was because Sesame Street never received funding from PBS and instead made all of its revenue from things like books, video tapes, and live shows. Unfortunately, with the rise of things like you tube, people no longer paid for these things, so their funding was next to nonexistent and PBS couldn’t help them because most of their funds go to supporting channels/shows that don’t bring in any revenue at all and service mostly rural areas. This is where HBO comes in. They ended up buying Sesame Street to basically save it from the brink of destruction and to let it still be a resource. Also, this is one time where a corporation wasn’t entirely greedy. Yes HBO will still own Sesame Street and new episodes will air on its service, however part of the deal gave Sesame Street a massive flow of cash that will allow them to make twice as many episodes a season. Additionally, new episodes will still air on PBS, it will just be a few months after they air on HBO (which, let’s be real, isn’t gonna matter to little kids). So kids from poorer homes will still have access to the show and will now also have twice as much content to educate them. Sure having it on HBO first isn’t ideal, but they also aren’t playing the role of the evil corporation this time Sometimes, just sometimes, it turns out things will be okOnce again, beware of half truths. You might have gotten the wrong half.
Books, Children, and Fuck You: The Verge
 @verge
 HBO Max locks down exclusive access to new Sesame
 Street episodes theverge.com/2019/10/3/2089
 gSAME STREET
 7:20 PM Oct 3, 2019 Vox Media

 #DearNonnatives
 @dearnonnatives
 This show was supposed to be free to help prepare
 low-income children for school.
 Fuck you HBO
thefloatingstone:

scottandhiskind:

thefandomdropout:

Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street 

Okay but this doesn’t tell the full story.  The only reason Sesame Street was sold to HBO, was because it was literally on the verge of being cancelled.  This was because Sesame Street never received funding from PBS and instead made all of its revenue from things like books, video tapes, and live shows.  Unfortunately, with the rise of things like you tube, people no longer paid for these things, so their funding was next to nonexistent and PBS couldn’t help them because most of their funds go to supporting channels/shows that don’t bring in any revenue at all and service mostly rural areas.  This is where HBO comes in.  They ended up buying Sesame Street to basically save it from the brink of destruction and to let it still be a resource.  
Also, this is one time where a corporation wasn’t entirely greedy.  Yes HBO will still own Sesame Street and new episodes will air on its service, however part of the deal gave Sesame Street a massive flow of cash that will allow them to make twice as many episodes a season.  Additionally, new episodes will still air on PBS, it will just be a few months after they air on HBO (which, let’s be real, isn’t gonna matter to little kids).  
So kids from poorer homes will still have access to the show and will now also have twice as much content to educate them.  Sure having it on HBO first isn’t ideal, but they also aren’t playing the role of the evil corporation this time 

Sometimes, just sometimes, it turns out things will be okOnce again, beware of half truths. You might have gotten the wrong half.

thefloatingstone: scottandhiskind: thefandomdropout: Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street  Okay but this doesn’t tell the full st...

Books, Children, and Fuck You: The Verge @verge HBO Max locks down exclusive access to new Sesame Street episodes theverge.com/2019/10/3/2089 gSAME STREET 7:20 PM Oct 3, 2019 Vox Media #DearNonnatives @dearnonnatives This show was supposed to be free to help prepare low-income children for school. Fuck you HBO scottandhiskind: thefandomdropout: Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street  Okay but this doesn’t tell the full story. The only reason Sesame Street was sold to HBO, was because it was literally on the verge of being cancelled. This was because Sesame Street never received funding from PBS and instead made all of its revenue from things like books, video tapes, and live shows. Unfortunately, with the rise of things like you tube, people no longer paid for these things, so their funding was next to nonexistent and PBS couldn’t help them because most of their funds go to supporting channels/shows that don’t bring in any revenue at all and service mostly rural areas. This is where HBO comes in. They ended up buying Sesame Street to basically save it from the brink of destruction and to let it still be a resource. Also, this is one time where a corporation wasn’t entirely greedy. Yes HBO will still own Sesame Street and new episodes will air on its service, however part of the deal gave Sesame Street a massive flow of cash that will allow them to make twice as many episodes a season. Additionally, new episodes will still air on PBS, it will just be a few months after they air on HBO (which, let’s be real, isn’t gonna matter to little kids). So kids from poorer homes will still have access to the show and will now also have twice as much content to educate them. Sure having it on HBO first isn’t ideal, but they also aren’t playing the role of the evil corporation this time
Books, Children, and Fuck You: The Verge
 @verge
 HBO Max locks down exclusive access to new Sesame
 Street episodes theverge.com/2019/10/3/2089
 gSAME STREET
 7:20 PM Oct 3, 2019 Vox Media

 #DearNonnatives
 @dearnonnatives
 This show was supposed to be free to help prepare
 low-income children for school.
 Fuck you HBO
scottandhiskind:

thefandomdropout:

Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street 

Okay but this doesn’t tell the full story.  The only reason Sesame Street was sold to HBO, was because it was literally on the verge of being cancelled.  This was because Sesame Street never received funding from PBS and instead made all of its revenue from things like books, video tapes, and live shows.  Unfortunately, with the rise of things like you tube, people no longer paid for these things, so their funding was next to nonexistent and PBS couldn’t help them because most of their funds go to supporting channels/shows that don’t bring in any revenue at all and service mostly rural areas.  This is where HBO comes in.  They ended up buying Sesame Street to basically save it from the brink of destruction and to let it still be a resource.  
Also, this is one time where a corporation wasn’t entirely greedy.  Yes HBO will still own Sesame Street and new episodes will air on its service, however part of the deal gave Sesame Street a massive flow of cash that will allow them to make twice as many episodes a season.  Additionally, new episodes will still air on PBS, it will just be a few months after they air on HBO (which, let’s be real, isn’t gonna matter to little kids).  
So kids from poorer homes will still have access to the show and will now also have twice as much content to educate them.  Sure having it on HBO first isn’t ideal, but they also aren’t playing the role of the evil corporation this time

scottandhiskind: thefandomdropout: Capitalism done got ahold of  Sesame Street  Okay but this doesn’t tell the full story. The only reas...

Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre fucking otherworld it is The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate. Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version of Let it Go. Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it. People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking lot multiple times a week. It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even happening. Regular customers included: A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate pieces of literature on the subject A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical" An actual group of Neo-Nazis An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us) o Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't know Simon Pegg" I have more these are just off the top of my head halleregina I can't believe I forgot two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel is bisexual or not I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he said "No, I'm not a socialist"
Denny's, Disney, and Fire: halleregina
 Okay now that I've finally quit Denny's let me tell you guys about the bizarre
 fucking otherworld it is
 The music and the room temperature are controlled by corporate.
 Corporate plays a lot of pop covers of Disney princess songs I've never
 heard before. I now have a dance routine to the K-Pop sounding version
 of Let it Go.
 Our sign flickered fast and red and demonically for a week and the
 repairman said he couldn't find anything wrong with it.
 People did drug deals in, like, broad daylight in the middle of the parking
 lot multiple times a week.
 It's open 24/7. We had a backup generator none of us knew about until
 there was a massive storm one night and we looked out to see a tree
 knocked over and our lights the only thing on for miles. You could
 weather the apocalypse with no idea the apocalypse was even
 happening.
 Regular customers included:
 A man convinced the chemtrails are real who gave me six separate
 pieces of literature on the subject
 A little person named Kevin who told me "sometimes I call myself a
 dwarf when I'm feeling whimsical"
 An actual group of Neo-Nazis
 An actual Earth, Wind, and Fire cover band (they played for us)
 o
 Twins who came in separately on the same day and I thought they
 were one woman changing outfits rapidly for the longest time
 A Scottish landscaper who told us we "couldn't prove he doesn't
 know Simon Pegg"
 I have more these are just off the top of my head
 halleregina
 I can't believe I forgot
 two line cooks got into a really heated argument about whether Vin Diesel
 is bisexual or not
 I asked an elderly man if he wanted to use the AARP discount and he
 said "No, I'm not a socialist"

Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" offered by an English professor from the University of Phoenix: The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex- periment with a new form called the tandem story The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home- work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para- graph and send another copy to me. The partner will read the first paragraph and then add another para- graph to the story and send it back, also sending an- other copy to me. The first person will then add a third paragraph, and so on back-and-forth. Remember to re-read what has been written each time in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab- solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any- thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail. The story is over when both agree a con- clusion has been reached." The following was actually turned in by two of his English students: Rebecca and Gary THE STORY: (first paragraph by Rebecca) At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier times, that he liked chamomile. But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating, and if she thought about him too much her asthma started acting up again. So chamomile was out of the second paragraph by Gary) Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4, had more important things to think about than the neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But before he could sign off a bluish particle beam flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit. (Rebecca) He bumped his head and died almost immediately, but not before he felt one last pang of regret for psychically brutalizing the one woman who had ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per- manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie read in her newspaper one morning. The news si- multaneously excited her and bored her. She stared out the window, dreaming of her youth, when the days had passed unhurriedly and care- free, with no newspaper to read, no television to distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at all the beautiful things around her. "Why must one lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she pondered wistfully Gary) Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec- onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace disarmament Treaty through the congress had left Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em- pires who were determined to destroy the human race. Within two hours after the passage of the treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en- tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President, in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized poor, stupid Laurie. (Rebecca) This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin- istic semi-literate adolescent. Gary) Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle Steele novels!" Gary) B*tch. (Rebecca) F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea. A+ Ireally liked this one. epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’
Beautiful, Bored, and Head: Here's a prime example of "Men Are
 From Mars, Women Are From Venus"
 offered by an English professor from
 the University of Phoenix:
 The professor told his class one day: Today we will ex-
 periment with a new form called the tandem story
 The process is simple. Each person will pair off with the
 person sitting to his or her immediate right. As home-
 work tonight, one of you will write the first paragraph
 of a short story. You will e-mail your partner that para-
 graph and send another copy to me. The partner will
 read the first paragraph and then add another para-
 graph to the story and send it back, also sending an-
 other copy to me. The first person will then add a third
 paragraph, and so on back-and-forth.
 Remember to re-read what has been written each time
 in order to keep the story coherent. There is to be ab-
 solutely NO talking outside of the e-mails and any-
 thing you wish to say must be written in the e-mail.
 The story is over when both agree a con-
 clusion has been reached."
 The following was actually turned in by two of his
 English students:
 Rebecca and Gary
 THE STORY:
 (first paragraph by Rebecca)
 At first, Laurie couldn't decide which kind of tea
 she wanted. The chamomile, which used to be her
 favorite for lazy evenings at home, now reminded
 her too much of Carl, who once said, in happier
 times, that he liked chamomile.
 But she felt she must now, at all costs, keep her
 mind off Carl. His possessiveness was suffocating,
 and if she thought about him too much her asthma
 started acting up again. So chamomile was out of
 the
 second paragraph by Gary)
 Meanwhile, Advance Sergeant Carl Harris, leader of
 the attack squadron now in orbit over Skylon 4,
 had more important things to think about than the
 neuroses of an air-headed asthmatic bimbo named
 Laurie with whom he had spent one sweaty night
 over a year ago. "A.S. Harris to Geostation 17," he
 said into his transgalactic communicator. " Polar
 orbit established. No sign of resistance so far..." But
 before he could sign off a bluish particle beam
 flashed out of nowhere and blasted a hole through
 his ship's cargo bay. The jolt from the direct hit sent
 him flying out of his seat and across the ####pit.
 (Rebecca)
 He bumped his head and died almost immediately,
 but not before he felt one last pang of regret for
 psychically brutalizing the one woman who had
 ever had feelings for him. Soon afterwards, Earth
 stopped its pointless hostilities towards the peace
 ful farmers of Skylon 4. "Congress Passes Law Per-
 manently Abolishing War and Space Travel," Laurie
 read in her newspaper one morning. The news si-
 multaneously excited her and bored her. She
 stared out the window, dreaming of her youth,
 when the days had passed unhurriedly and care-
 free, with no newspaper to read, no television to
 distract her from her sense of innocent wonder at
 all the beautiful things around
 her. "Why must one
 lose one's innocence to become a woman?" she
 pondered wistfully
 Gary)
 Little did she know, but she had less than 10 sec-
 onds to live. Thousands of miles above the city, the
 Anu'udrian mothership launched the first of its
 lithium fusion missiles. The dimwitted wimpy
 peaceniks who pushed the Unilateral Aerospace
 disarmament Treaty through the congress had left
 Earth a defenseless target for the hostile alien em-
 pires who were determined to destroy the human
 race. Within two hours after the passage of the
 treaty the Anu'udrian ships were on course for
 Earth, carrying enough firepower to pulverize the
 With no one to stop them, they swiftly initiated
 their diabolical plan. The lithium fusion missile en-
 tered the atmosphere unimpeded. The President,
 in his top-secret mobile submarine headquarters
 on the ocean floor off the coast of Guam, felt the
 inconceivably massive explosion, which vaporized
 poor, stupid Laurie.
 (Rebecca)
 This is absurd. I refuse to continue this mockery of
 literature. My writing partner is a violent, chauvin-
 istic semi-literate adolescent.
 Gary)
 Yeah? Well, my writing partner is a self-centered
 tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the
 literary equivalent of Valium. Oh, shall I have
 chamomile tea? Or shall I have some other sort of
 F-KING TEA??? Oh no, what am I to do? I'm such an
 air headed bimbo who reads too many Danielle
 Steele novels!"
 Gary)
 B*tch.
 (Rebecca)
 F K YOU-YOU NEANDERTHALI
 In your dreams, Ho. Go drink some tea.
 A+
 Ireally liked this one.
epicjohndoe:

A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’

epicjohndoe: A Very Good Example Of ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus’