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mainstream: i IHLAYANEWS.COM Hotel cleaner who stole sperm from a used condom won child support battle nunyabizni: nunyabizni: lastsonlost: yeahiwasintheshit: okayysophia: uncleromeo: bruh Shoot this bitch. Shoot this bitch right fucking now. Looking around for more mainstream sources on this, most seem to be news services in Africa, but I did come across this gem that doesn’t seem to grasp the implications of this situation. HILLARIOUS….A Woman Who Impregnated Herself With A Stolen Used Condom Wins US$3Million In Child Support Battle. Because obviously this is funny as hell and not a tragic exploitation of the US justice system. Dude’s got money, I hope he sues her into oblivion and takes his kid back if this is a legit story, I’m still mildly iffy since some of the details change from article to article. Oh thank God skepticism wins this round @lastsonlosthttps://www.truthorfiction.com/hotel-cleaner-who-stole-sperm-from-a-millionaires-used-condom-won-child-support-battle-millions/In its apparent first iteration, the claim was shared by the site ihlayanews.com on November 9 2019. That site claimed::A 40-year-old Las Vegas hotel cleaner won a child support battle against a 28-year-old millionaire who she never slept with.ect.Ihlaya News’ header has faint text reading “nuusparodie waarvan jy hou,” which was translated by Africa Check:“Ihlaya News” roughly translates, from isiZulu, as “crazy person news”. The site’s tagline is “nuusparodie waarvan jy hou” – Afrikaans for “news parody that you like”.When Ihlaya News (“crazy person news”) published “Hotel cleaner who stole sperm from a used condom won child support battle” on November 9 2019, faint “satire” signifiers appeared on that first iteration. When numerous outlets in Africa shared it, those details were stripped away, as was the case with screenshots of the “news” on Facebook. However, the claim originated with an openly satirical site.TL:DR; story came from a satire site and a bunch of African news sources “ate the onion” as it were. That’s a relief
mainstream: i
 IHLAYANEWS.COM
 Hotel cleaner who stole sperm from a used condom
 won child support battle
nunyabizni:

nunyabizni:
lastsonlost:

yeahiwasintheshit:


okayysophia:

uncleromeo:


bruh





Shoot this bitch. Shoot this bitch right fucking now.

Looking around for more mainstream sources on this, most seem to be news services in Africa, but I did come across this gem that doesn’t seem to grasp the implications of this situation.

HILLARIOUS….A Woman Who Impregnated Herself With A Stolen Used Condom Wins US$3Million In Child Support Battle. 

Because obviously this is funny as hell and not a tragic exploitation of the US justice system.
Dude’s got money, I hope he sues her into oblivion and takes his kid back if this is a legit story, I’m still mildly iffy since some of the details change from article to article.

Oh thank God skepticism wins this round @lastsonlosthttps://www.truthorfiction.com/hotel-cleaner-who-stole-sperm-from-a-millionaires-used-condom-won-child-support-battle-millions/In its apparent first iteration, the claim was shared by the site ihlayanews.com on November 9 2019. That site claimed::A 40-year-old Las Vegas hotel cleaner won a child support battle against a 28-year-old millionaire who she never slept with.ect.Ihlaya News’ header has faint text reading “nuusparodie waarvan jy hou,” which was translated by Africa Check:“Ihlaya
 News” roughly translates, from isiZulu, as “crazy person news”. The 
site’s tagline is “nuusparodie waarvan jy hou” – Afrikaans for “news 
parody that you like”.When Ihlaya News (“crazy 
person news”) published “Hotel cleaner who stole sperm from a used 
condom won child support battle” on November 9 2019, faint “satire” 
signifiers appeared on that first iteration. When numerous outlets in 
Africa shared it, those details were stripped away, as was the case with
 screenshots of the “news” on Facebook. However, the claim originated 
with an openly satirical site.TL:DR; story came from a satire site and a bunch of African news sources “ate the onion” as it were.

That’s a relief

nunyabizni: nunyabizni: lastsonlost: yeahiwasintheshit: okayysophia: uncleromeo: bruh Shoot this bitch. Shoot this bitch righ...

mainstream: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe. Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War. Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this” https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast. If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin. And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit? very absofuckingluteky horrifying
mainstream: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: qu...

mainstream: 15-3901 1:05 5 Img:14 SP:11.91 PPHFS Mat 256 x 192 ps.zo PE-64 PPNES Nat 320x 240 MP Caters News Agency 17am A boy born with just two percent of his brain has defied doctors' predictions after his brain grew back to 80 percent of the average size. Doctors had told the parents to terminate pregnancy not once but five times. @factsweird Photo courtesy of Caters News Agency greater-than-the-sword: recoveringvictorian: mccarthyites: mindblowingfactz: A boy born with just two percent of his brain has defied doctors’ predictions after his brain grew back to 80 percent of the average size. Doctors had told the parents to terminate pregnancy not once but five times. I saw this before some time ago and it just absolutely fascinated me because there was never any other information provided and the little info that was given was tantalizingly vague. Even with 80% of his brain growing surely he had all kinds of severe issues, right? And even if his brain did grow back he might not have lived very long. So I did a little research on him. Everything happened exactly like it says in the pic- the parents were strongly urged to abort the baby five separate times, and they refused all five times, and he was born with two percent of his brain and he does now have 80% of it. What the blurb doesn’t say is that the little boy’s name is Noah Wall and he’s now a very happy, healthy, six year old boy. Doctors said he would be SEVERELY mentally disabled, unable to see, hear, talk, or even eat. The doctors were wrong. He can do all of these things and more. By age two he was sitting up straight and singing; he can play with legos and computer games, he’s learned how to count, he can hold perfectly normal conversations, and he loves painting. He just recently wrote his name for the first time, and he’s trying very hard to learn how to walk (but that’s still a long way off because he’s mostly paralyzed from the waist down). Most of this probably just seems like boring normalcy, but considering he was born with only 2% of his brain he shouldn’t be able to do ANY of this. The fact that he lived beyond his first birthday is a miracle in and of itself. Noah hasn’t had a brain scan since he was three years old, so no one knows if his brain has grown more since then, but all indications are that he’s developing physically at a normal rate, and he’s developing well enough mentally that his parents recently enrolled him in a local elementary school- not any special education classes, a normal, mainstream school. It’s hard work for the parents, there’s tons of medical appointments, regular surgeries with lengthy recovery times, they had to shuttle Noah to a neurophysics center in Australia to help him learn how to sit upright. But they both agree he’s worth it. This is what his mom Shelly has to say:  “I thank him every night before he goes to bed. I say ‘Noah, thank you for such a lovely day. I’ve loved my day.’ And he’ll say ‘I love you, Mummy. Night night.’” https://nypost.com/2019/02/20/boy-born-without-brain-defies-odds-to-live/ https://www.theepochtimes.com/boy-born-with-2-percent-of-brain-defies-odds-learns-to-count-and-surf_2810231.html https://www.cbc.ca/passionateeye/features/the-boy-born-without-a-brain-is-now-a-practical-joker-who-loves-playing-mar I saw a video on him and his parents awhile back and it’s such a happy story. ^^ Just another invalid deformed beyond hope and destined to be a vegetable who should have been killed in the womb, amirite? This really speaks to cases where people think that killing a baby is “the right thing to do” because of probabilities and likelihoods.
mainstream: 15-3901
 1:05 5
 Img:14
 SP:11.91
 PPHFS
 Mat 256 x 192
 ps.zo
 PE-64
 PPNES
 Nat 320x 240
 MP
 Caters News Agency
 17am
 A boy born with just two percent of his brain
 has defied doctors' predictions after his brain
 grew back to 80 percent of the average size.
 Doctors had told the parents to terminate
 pregnancy not once but five times.
 @factsweird
 Photo courtesy of Caters News Agency
greater-than-the-sword:
recoveringvictorian:

mccarthyites:


mindblowingfactz:
A boy born with just two percent of his brain has defied doctors’ predictions after his brain grew back to 80 percent of the average size. Doctors had told the parents to terminate pregnancy not once but five times.
I saw this before some time ago and it just absolutely fascinated me because there was never any other information provided and the little info that was given was tantalizingly vague. Even with 80% of his brain growing surely he had all kinds of severe issues, right? And even if his brain did grow back he might not have lived very long. So I did a little research on him.
Everything happened exactly like it says in the pic- the parents were strongly urged to abort the baby five separate times, and they refused all five times, and he was born with two percent of his brain and he does now have 80% of it.
What the blurb doesn’t say is that the little boy’s name is Noah Wall and he’s now a very happy, healthy, six year old boy.
Doctors said he would be SEVERELY mentally disabled, unable to see, hear, talk, or even eat. The doctors were wrong. He can do all of these things and more. By age two he was sitting up straight and singing; he can play with legos and computer games, he’s learned how to count, he can hold perfectly normal conversations, and he loves painting. He just recently wrote his name for the first time, and he’s trying very hard to learn how to walk (but that’s still a long way off because he’s mostly paralyzed from the waist down). Most of this probably just seems like boring normalcy, but considering he was born with only 2% of his brain he shouldn’t be able to do ANY of this. The fact that he lived beyond his first birthday is a miracle in and of itself.
Noah hasn’t had a brain scan since he was three years old, so no one knows if his brain has grown more since then, but all indications are that he’s developing physically at a normal rate, and he’s developing well enough mentally that his parents recently enrolled him in a local elementary school- not any special education classes, a normal, mainstream school. It’s hard work for the parents, there’s tons of medical appointments, regular surgeries with lengthy recovery times, they had to shuttle Noah to a neurophysics center in Australia to help him learn how to sit upright. But they both agree he’s worth it.
This is what his mom Shelly has to say:  “I thank him every night before he goes to bed. I say ‘Noah, thank you for such a lovely day. I’ve loved my day.’ And he’ll say ‘I love you, Mummy. Night night.’”
https://nypost.com/2019/02/20/boy-born-without-brain-defies-odds-to-live/
https://www.theepochtimes.com/boy-born-with-2-percent-of-brain-defies-odds-learns-to-count-and-surf_2810231.html
https://www.cbc.ca/passionateeye/features/the-boy-born-without-a-brain-is-now-a-practical-joker-who-loves-playing-mar


I saw a video on him and his parents awhile back and it’s such a happy story. ^^ Just another invalid deformed beyond hope and destined to be a vegetable who should have been killed in the womb, amirite? 


This really speaks to cases where people think that killing a baby is “the right thing to do” because of probabilities and likelihoods.

greater-than-the-sword: recoveringvictorian: mccarthyites: mindblowingfactz: A boy born with just two percent of his brain has defied...