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Looks Cool: Disney’s new live action animal movie looks cool
Looks Cool: Disney’s new live action animal movie looks cool

Disney’s new live action animal movie looks cool

Looks Cool: The Turkey Story So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for into a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house. So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing. Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love are even if they are si In the spirit of going alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad- dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in the backyard where he makes various cured meats and other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for SO Game Hen seasoned that way, for them. Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be- cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius. Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle Cliff s after her So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards, and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement, getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic groups were destroying America. Being that I had close Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to n roughly five times my size. Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and defending him, or telling us we're rotten children for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an ugly mustache My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and my grandfather limps down to the basement and brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him. Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up. We go upstairs and sit down, and do the traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the bread gets passed around the table, and things calm down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all around becuase it looks cool. Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard Munch and shrieks OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out where to begin but since shed been trying to justify Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going. IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and kicking her feet like a toddler Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while my grandmother mouths she's not coming back Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up, are assisted by Dad, who is saintly patient man and less immune to this jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the catholic church and even considered becoming a priest before getting drafted but that's another story)and assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill. I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you some That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that, and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind. Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they went home, and the party got underway properly, with Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For t Turkey has been an staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as good 2. Share the pictures with me, Very planned Parenthood
Looks Cool: The Turkey Story
 So it's 2001, and my family drives from fu
 California and like three blizzards to get to Ohio for
 into
 a nursing home and it's their last holiday in that house.
 So its a bit bittersweet but ultimately a good thing.
 Since it's their last holiday there, the family pulls out
 all the stops when it comes to dinner, all the Russian
 desserts come out, as does the Lethal Bacon Mashed
 Potatoes and the horrible candied yams with the mini
 marshmallows dish because not all expressions of love
 are
 even if they are si
 In the spirit of going
 alout, Uncle Bobby smokes a Turkey
 Uncle Bobby started cooking as a boy
 foil-wrapped potatoes into a campfire and has been ad-
 dicted since, and now has a hand-made smokehouse in
 the backyard where he makes various cured meats and
 other delights. He seasons the turkey in the traditional
 manner, but he and grandpa have a shared passion for
 SO
 Game Hen seasoned that way, for them.
 Then Bobby has a Brilliant Idea. He realizes that he can
 stuff the turkey (once it has been smoked) with regular
 stuffing, and there is still plenty of room for him to put
 the game hen inside THAT, and stuff the game hen be-
 cuase why not? He confers with Mom, and she explains
 how to cut open the turkey so there's dramatic reveal
 as the stuffing and game hen come out. It's Genius.
 Except, of course, that my Aunt Sue is attending, Uncle
 Cliff s
 after her
 So the day of the dinner, tensions are running a bit
 high, between the marathon cooking, the kids al being
 trapped indoors due to aforementioned blizzards,
 and Uncle Cliff deciding that the best way to amuse
 himself is by hiding from the adults in the basement,
 getting drunk and rambling about how various ethic
 groups were destroying America. Being that I had close
 Muslim friends that were leaving the country becuase of
 9/11, 1 was near tears from this nonsense and ready to
 n roughly five times my size.
 Sue, for some reason, keeps coming down and
 defending him, or telling us we're rotten children
 for 'attacking him, becuase she Must Stand By Her
 Man, even if her man is a hefty bag of dog feces with an
 ugly
 mustache
 My sister eventually boits upstairs to tattle and
 my grandfather limps down to the basement and
 brandishes his Hip Bone Cane, hands rock-steady in
 spite of the Parkinson's slowly taking over him.
 Firstly Cliff, It may not be my roof much longer but
 while you are under it you will be civil, or Ill beat your
 skull in. Also, dinner's ready, everyone go wash up.
 We go upstairs and sit down, and do the
 traditional "Name one thing you're thankful for as the
 bread gets passed around the table, and things calm
 down a bit. Bobby brings out the Turkey and everyone
 goes OOH becuase it's really pretty, them Mom carves
 it open so that the stuffing spills out dramatically along
 with the game hen and there's an appreciative gasp all
 around becuase it looks cool.
 Only Sue KEEPS gasping, in utter horror, before getting
 up and clasping her hands to her face ala Edvard
 Munch and shrieks
 OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANTI
 We all stare at Sue. We all look back at the
 fully-dressed-cooked-and-stuffed birds that in no way
 had any internal organs in them or ever gave live birth
 Then we all looked back at Sue, trying to figure out
 where to begin but since shed been trying to justify
 Cliffs behavior she was pretty much free-associating
 conspiracies and scandals now, and just kept going.
 IT WAS PREGNANT MY GOD WE'VE COMMITTED AN
 ABORTION WE'RE ALL GOING TO HELL FOR THIS, I'M
 SO SORRY JESUS She goes into full pearl-clutching
 gibbering horror at this point and falls back into her
 chair like it's a Victorian fainting couch only it's a
 shitty chair from the Eisenhower administration so it
 collapses and she slams into the floor, sobbing and
 kicking her feet like a toddler
 Everyone watched for a moment before my Mom sighs
 heavily and starts carving and serving the turkey while
 my grandmother mouths she's not coming back
 Cliff, reactions delayed by about six beers, finally
 notices his wife is on the floor and tries to pick her up,
 are assisted by Dad,
 who is saintly patient man and less immune to this
 jacknapery at that point. I am stuffing dinner rolls into
 my face to keep from laughing at this grand spectacle
 ICANT EAT IT, I REFUSE TO PARTAKE IN THIS
 BARBARISM Sue begins but Dad puts on his best
 Kindly Father voice (he was heavily involved with the
 catholic church and even considered becoming a priest
 before getting drafted but that's another story)and
 assures Sue that she need not eat, or even be in the
 room if she wants. She nods, placated by being the
 center of attention again, and Dad goes in for the kill.
 I wouldn't want you to go hungry. Can I make you
 some
 That would be lovely." Said Sue, joke flying over her
 ng 747. I recall watching my grandmot
 her nearly choke to death on the green beans over that,
 and everyone pointedly trying to avoid talking about
 anything poultry-related while Sue sat there and ate the
 most ironic scrambled eggs in the history of mankind.
 Shortly thereafter, Cliff threw up in the sink and they
 went home, and the party got underway properly, with
 Grandpa raising a toast to Mom and Uncle Bobby For
 t Turkey has been an
 staple since then. I'll see if I can hit Uncle Bobby up for
 instructions but if you decide to make it 1. you HAVE
 to shriek "OH MY GOD IT WAS PREGNANT when you
 carve it open, or it's not authentic and won't taste as
 good 2. Share the pictures with me,
Very planned Parenthood

Very planned Parenthood

Looks Cool: gifsofprocesses: No idea what theese are but this looks cool as hell 
Looks Cool: gifsofprocesses:

No idea what theese are but this looks cool as hell 

gifsofprocesses: No idea what theese are but this looks cool as hell 

Looks Cool: When two city planners hate each other: <p>Looks cool though&hellip; via /r/memes <a href="http://ift.tt/2tHDALV">http://ift.tt/2tHDALV</a></p>
Looks Cool: When two city planners hate each
 other:
<p>Looks cool though&hellip; via /r/memes <a href="http://ift.tt/2tHDALV">http://ift.tt/2tHDALV</a></p>

<p>Looks cool though&hellip; via /r/memes <a href="http://ift.tt/2tHDALV">http://ift.tt/2tHDALV</a></p>

Looks Cool: dimensional baconk c looks cool and goo0 <p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/815wq3/only_the_sizzle_of_the_bacon_can_distract_you/">Src</a>]</p>
Looks Cool: dimensional baconk c
 looks cool and
 goo0
<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/815wq3/only_the_sizzle_of_the_bacon_can_distract_you/">Src</a>]</p>

<p>[<a href="https://www.reddit.com/r/surrealmemes/comments/815wq3/only_the_sizzle_of_the_bacon_can_distract_you/">Src</a>]</p>

Looks Cool: Sasha Y Casashaxmassacre 4d Y'all make me cringe 13 1994 Subaru Outback a Sadieisonfire 4d v Welcome 2 the web can I get u a water Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d u got any tap water 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v Sashaxmassacre Sasha HY (asashaxmassacre 4d that shit's orange 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v we outsource our water from Flint Michigan 20 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d u snort peanut butter and jelly 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u eat gold bond creme Sasha Ay @sashaxmassacre.4d u head butt rams 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u can't even kickflip Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d yo goofy ass probably jump in puddles with ya socks on 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v O u the type to bring a ripstik to a skatepark 15 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre .4 u the type to take pics with ya uncle's alcohol so u look cool when really u ain't even drinking it 1994 Subaru Outback Sadieisonfire 4d v u the type to buy generic brand cereal and say "it's basically the same thing" Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d u eat raw potatoes for breakfast 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u microwave eggo waffles Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d u smell like a empty bag of grapes 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u eat Kit-Kats like a normal candy bar and don't break it apart 21 Kit Kat O Kitkat @KitKat US Replying to @Sadieisonfire and @sash axmassacre SAVAGE 4/10/17, 11:43 AM 14 RETWEETS 92 LIKES Sasha sashaxmassacre 3h Replying to @KitKat US and @Sadieisonfire WHAT 1994 Subaru Outback a Sadieisonfire 7h v Replying to @KitKat US and @sashaxmassacre looks like I won me🍫irl
Looks Cool: Sasha
 Y Casashaxmassacre 4d
 Y'all make me cringe
 13
 1994 Subaru Outback
 a Sadieisonfire 4d v
 Welcome 2 the web can I get u a water
 Sasha
 AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u got any tap water
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 Sashaxmassacre
 Sasha
 HY (asashaxmassacre 4d
 that shit's orange
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 we outsource our water from Flint Michigan
 20
 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u snort peanut butter and jelly
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u eat gold bond creme
 Sasha
 Ay @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u head butt rams
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u can't even kickflip
 Sasha
 AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 yo goofy ass probably jump in puddles with
 ya socks on

 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 O u the type to bring a ripstik to a skatepark
 15
 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre .4
 u the type to take pics with ya uncle's
 alcohol so u look cool when really u ain't
 even drinking it
 1994 Subaru Outback
 Sadieisonfire 4d v
 u the type to buy generic brand cereal and
 say "it's basically the same thing"
 Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u eat raw potatoes for breakfast
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u microwave eggo waffles
 Sasha
 RY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u smell like a empty bag of grapes
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u eat Kit-Kats like a normal candy bar and
 don't break it apart
 21
 Kit Kat O
 Kitkat
 @KitKat US
 Replying to @Sadieisonfire and @sash axmassacre
 SAVAGE
 4/10/17, 11:43 AM
 14
 RETWEETS
 92
 LIKES
 Sasha sashaxmassacre 3h
 Replying to @KitKat US and @Sadieisonfire
 WHAT
 1994 Subaru Outback
 a Sadieisonfire 7h v
 Replying to @KitKat US and @sashaxmassacre
 looks like I won
me🍫irl

me🍫irl

Looks Cool: Sasha Y Casashaxmassacre 4d Y'all make me cringe 13 1994 Subaru Outback a Sadieisonfire 4d v Welcome 2 the web can I get u a water Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d u got any tap water 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v Sashaxmassacre Sasha HY (asashaxmassacre 4d that shit's orange 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v we outsource our water from Flint Michigan 20 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d u snort peanut butter and jelly 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u eat gold bond creme Sasha Ay @sashaxmassacre.4d u head butt rams 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u can't even kickflip Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d yo goofy ass probably jump in puddles with ya socks on 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v O u the type to bring a ripstik to a skatepark 15 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre .4 u the type to take pics with ya uncle's alcohol so u look cool when really u ain't even drinking it 1994 Subaru Outback Sadieisonfire 4d v u the type to buy generic brand cereal and say "it's basically the same thing" Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d u eat raw potatoes for breakfast 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u microwave eggo waffles Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d u smell like a empty bag of grapes 1994 Subaru Outback asadieisonfire 4d v u eat Kit-Kats like a normal candy bar and don't break it apart 21 Kit Kat O Kitkat @KitKat US Replying to @Sadieisonfire and @sash axmassacre SAVAGE 4/10/17, 11:43 AM 14 RETWEETS 92 LIKES Sasha sashaxmassacre 3h Replying to @KitKat US and @Sadieisonfire WHAT 1994 Subaru Outback a Sadieisonfire 7h v Replying to @KitKat US and @sashaxmassacre looks like I won How to win an argument.
Looks Cool: Sasha
 Y Casashaxmassacre 4d
 Y'all make me cringe
 13
 1994 Subaru Outback
 a Sadieisonfire 4d v
 Welcome 2 the web can I get u a water
 Sasha
 AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u got any tap water
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 Sashaxmassacre
 Sasha
 HY (asashaxmassacre 4d
 that shit's orange
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 we outsource our water from Flint Michigan
 20
 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u snort peanut butter and jelly
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u eat gold bond creme
 Sasha
 Ay @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u head butt rams
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u can't even kickflip
 Sasha
 AY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 yo goofy ass probably jump in puddles with
 ya socks on

 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 O u the type to bring a ripstik to a skatepark
 15
 Sasha AY @sashaxmassacre .4
 u the type to take pics with ya uncle's
 alcohol so u look cool when really u ain't
 even drinking it
 1994 Subaru Outback
 Sadieisonfire 4d v
 u the type to buy generic brand cereal and
 say "it's basically the same thing"
 Sasha RY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u eat raw potatoes for breakfast
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u microwave eggo waffles
 Sasha
 RY @sashaxmassacre.4d
 u smell like a empty bag of grapes
 1994 Subaru Outback
 asadieisonfire 4d v
 u eat Kit-Kats like a normal candy bar and
 don't break it apart
 21
 Kit Kat O
 Kitkat
 @KitKat US
 Replying to @Sadieisonfire and @sash axmassacre
 SAVAGE
 4/10/17, 11:43 AM
 14
 RETWEETS
 92
 LIKES
 Sasha sashaxmassacre 3h
 Replying to @KitKat US and @Sadieisonfire
 WHAT
 1994 Subaru Outback
 a Sadieisonfire 7h v
 Replying to @KitKat US and @sashaxmassacre
 looks like I won
How to win an argument.

How to win an argument.