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Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe.
Clothes, cnn.com, and Dumb: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe.

biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weave...

Ether, Netflix, and Parks and Recreation: This is probably the best customer service exchange ever... Netflix Customer Service You are now chatting with: Michael 16 minutes ago You I have a problem to report Netilix Michael This is Cpt. Mike of the good ship Netfiox, which member of the crew am I speaking with 6 minutes ag 6 minutes ag You 6 minutes ago Greetings, Captain. Lt. Norm here 15 minutes ago Engineering has a problem to report Netflix Michael LT, what seems to be the problem? 15 minutes ago 5 minutes ag Visual displays are erratic, sir 4 minutes ago season 5, episode 13 of Parks and Recreation is behaving oddly Netflix Michael How so, LT? You at 5 minutes of operation You 4 minutes ago 4 minutes ago 14 minutes ago 4 minutes ago the visual creates a temporal loop 4 minutes ag and nearly 3 seconds of footage repeats over and over again 3 minutes ago Our ship seems to be immune to the eflect, as our lves are not actually repeating over and over Netflix Michael Oh, no. LTI told you no watching Netfiox while we sail through the Burmuda Triangle. ) 3 minstes a 3 minutes ago Dammit, m an engineer, not a navigator Netflix Michael 3 minutes ago 2 minutes ago We are not sure whether our instruments are at fault, or if some anomaly is present Netflix Micha LT Norm, does this happen at any other points on any other shows? minutes ago 11 สunutes ago But, this temporal loop has occurred at the same place on three separate days You no other episodes of ether Parks and Rec or other shows have been affected You We have attempted restarting the episode from the beginning, and she didn't budge minutes ag 0 minutes ago 0 minutes ago Netflix Micha LT. that is no good at all. 0 minutes ag We also attempted to start the episode "after the anomaly, and we were pulled back in and the loop continued minsites ag Ok. I will get this issue fagged so our techs can look at it minutes ag Worst of all, Captain.. the dalogue . It looped over Councilwoman Knope saying, This s real lide. This is real Ide. This is real lde WHAT DOES IT MEAN? Netflix Michal minutes ag HAHA Netlix Michal That is a homible place to get stuck Netflix Michaal Councilwoman Knope is such a worrier minutes ag 8 minutes ago 1 minutes ag Indeed, Captain. Netlix Michael 0 minutes ago 0 minutes ago [Oh, also, your report a problem with streaming wasn't working a minute ago. Hence this chat, which also happens to be best customer senice experience I think I have ever minutes ago Well thank you. Netllix Michael We got that reported on our end minutes ag minutes ago This needs to go on a blog somewhere minutes ag you will get a prompt to receive a transcript of this conversation when we are done. 8minutes ago Netflix Michael LT Norm, are there any other Netflix issues I could help you with today? You I almost wish there were minutes ago 7 minutes ago minutes ago Hehe:) Have a wonderful night. And one more thing, if you wouldn't mind, please stay online for a one question survey You minutes ago This chat session has ended you satisfied with your Netflix experience? No Thanks for your feedback you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz:Guy Goes Online To Complain, The Best Thing Happens
Ether, Netflix, and Parks and Recreation: This is probably the best customer
 service exchange ever...
 Netflix Customer Service
 You are now chatting with: Michael
 16 minutes ago
 You
 I have a problem to report
 Netilix Michael
 This is Cpt. Mike of the good ship Netfiox, which member of the crew am I speaking with
 6 minutes ag
 6 minutes ag
 You
 6 minutes ago
 Greetings, Captain. Lt. Norm here
 15 minutes ago
 Engineering has a problem to report
 Netflix Michael
 LT, what seems to be the problem?
 15 minutes ago
 5 minutes ag
 Visual displays are erratic, sir
 4 minutes ago
 season 5, episode 13 of Parks and Recreation is behaving oddly
 Netflix Michael
 How so, LT?
 You
 at 5 minutes of operation
 You
 4 minutes ago
 4 minutes ago
 14 minutes ago
 4 minutes ago
 the visual creates a temporal loop
 4 minutes ag
 and nearly 3 seconds of footage repeats over and over again
 3 minutes ago
 Our ship seems to be immune to the eflect, as our lves are not actually repeating over
 and over
 Netflix Michael
 Oh, no. LTI told you no watching Netfiox while we sail through the Burmuda Triangle. )
 3 minstes a
 3 minutes ago
 Dammit, m an engineer, not a navigator
 Netflix Michael
 3 minutes ago
 2 minutes ago
 We are not sure whether our instruments are at fault, or if some anomaly is present
 Netflix Micha
 LT Norm, does this happen at any other points on any other shows?
 minutes ago
 11 สunutes ago
 But, this temporal loop has occurred at the same place on three separate days
 You
 no other episodes of ether Parks and Rec or other shows have been affected
 You
 We have attempted restarting the episode from the beginning, and she didn't budge
 minutes ag
 0 minutes ago
 0 minutes ago
 Netflix Micha
 LT. that is no good at all.
 0 minutes ag
 We also attempted to start the episode "after the anomaly, and we were pulled back in
 and the loop continued
 minsites ag
 Ok. I will get this issue fagged so our techs can look at it
 minutes ag
 Worst of all, Captain.. the dalogue . It looped over Councilwoman Knope saying, This
 s real lide. This is real Ide. This is real lde WHAT DOES IT MEAN?
 Netflix Michal
 minutes ag
 HAHA
 Netlix Michal
 That is a homible place to get stuck
 Netflix Michaal
 Councilwoman Knope is such a worrier
 minutes ag
 8 minutes ago
 1 minutes ag
 Indeed, Captain.
 Netlix Michael
 0 minutes ago
 0 minutes ago
 [Oh, also, your report a problem with streaming wasn't working a minute ago. Hence
 this chat, which also happens to be best customer senice experience I think I have ever
 minutes ago
 Well thank you.
 Netllix Michael
 We got that reported on our end
 minutes ag
 minutes ago
 This needs to go on a blog somewhere
 minutes ag
 you will get a prompt to receive a transcript of this conversation when we are done.
 8minutes ago
 Netflix Michael
 LT Norm, are there any other Netflix issues I could help you with today?
 You
 I almost wish there were
 minutes ago
 7 minutes ago
 minutes ago
 Hehe:) Have a wonderful night. And one more thing, if you wouldn't mind, please stay
 online for a one question survey
 You
 minutes ago
 This chat session has ended
 you satisfied with
 your Netflix experience?
 No
 Thanks for your feedback
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:Guy Goes Online To Complain, The Best Thing Happens

lolzandtrollz:Guy Goes Online To Complain, The Best Thing Happens

Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate Army vet response (below) uov Or have. TAko, a . cour You look HANèicu Stup beis ASer OHFILE Dear Passive Aggressive Douche, First and foremost: In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to research this then you would have never needed to leave me this offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and felt like being a social justice hero. Secondly: Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even know who you are. By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped person "looks like. Asshole Lastly You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT be Sincerely The guy who doesn't look handicapped srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet
Life, Love, and Tumblr: Note from angry neighbor (above) and appropriate
 Army vet response (below)
 uov
 Or
 have. TAko, a
 .
 cour
 You look HANèicu
 Stup beis ASer
 OHFILE
 Dear Passive Aggressive Douche,
 First and foremost:
 In the state of Texas, if a vehicle has DISABLED VETERAN license plates
 that vehicle is not required, BY LAW, to have a handicapped placard
 displayed, nor a handicapped emblem on the license plate, UNLESS that
 vehicle is parked on FEDERAL property. If you had bothered to spend
 30 seconds and pull the minlature computer out of your pocket to
 research this then you would have never needed to leave me this
 offensive note. Considering that you took a picture of my license plate
 you should have been able to very clearly see the writing at the bottom
 that says: DISABLED VETERAN U.S. ARMED FORCES
 Butpobably just let your emotions gethe best of you and
 felt like being a social justice hero.
 Secondly:
 Although I may not "look handicapped to you, I can assure you that the
 amount of pain I feel in my lower body from walking due to combat
 sustained injuries far supersedes any level of pain you have ever felt in
 your entire life. Or maybe not....Who am I to say? After all, I don't even
 know who you are.
 By the way, I would love to hear what your idea of a handicapped
 person "looks like. Asshole
 Lastly
 You may have noticed there is a photocopy of the note you left attached
 to my response. I kept the original. I think I'm going to frame it so 1 can
 look at it every day as to remind myself of what kind of person to NOT
 be
 Sincerely
 The guy who doesn't look handicapped
srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

srsfunny:Angry Neighbor Vs. Army Vet

Tilt, Look, and Look at It: Tilt your screen and look at it from the bottom
Tilt, Look, and Look at It: Tilt your screen and look at it from the bottom

Tilt your screen and look at it from the bottom

Sharp, You, and Look: SHARP The longer you look at it, the less it makes sense.
Sharp, You, and Look: SHARP
The longer you look at it, the less it makes sense.

The longer you look at it, the less it makes sense.