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Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O 11% Claire Today 18:23 Am I supposed to send my CV to you separate or do you just want a covering letter? Covering letter is enough Could I get a job description to base it off please? Today 19:35 Lonely, mildly depressed single female seeking remotely stable man friend to people watch in reality and via Netflix Responsibilities include: Chaperoning to live music events, cinemas and shitty Dundee bars, perhaps occasionally a nightclub. Corresponding via a range of media within adequate times. Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts of complaining about life or work as well a questionable music taste. Providing mental and physical support in a range of activities including the gym. Spooning and perhaps sexual duties. Temporary post. Potential to become permanent. I'm a business teacher, this is my shit right here Today 20:06 Dear Claire, I'm writing this letter in regards to the temporary/permanent position of Partner. Please find my desperate attempt at wooing below. I am a reasonably stable Male that has previous experience in dating/ being a partner, with varying levels of success. Can deal with copious amounts of complaining over different forms of communication, very rarely leaves on read. Prefer outdoor activities to indoor exercise but can do. Will deal with drinking sessions professionally until shots are ordered though will still find way home. Sexual performance may vary. Thank you for taking the time to review my application, I look forward to hearing from you and hopefully progressing to the next stage of a date. I can't believe you actually wrote me a cover letter it's one of the better ones I've had so I guess we could do an "interview". Type a message... GIF Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”
Dating, Desperate, and Drinking: 20:14 O
 11%
 Claire
 Today 18:23
 Am I supposed to send my CV to
 you separate or do you just want a
 covering letter?
 Covering letter is enough
 Could I get a job description to base
 it off please?
 Today 19:35
 Lonely, mildly depressed single
 female seeking remotely stable
 man friend to people watch in
 reality and via Netflix
 Responsibilities include:
 Chaperoning to live music events,
 cinemas and shitty Dundee bars,
 perhaps occasionally a nightclub.
 Corresponding via a range of
 media within adequate times.
 Ability to tolerate prolonged bouts
 of complaining about life or work
 as well a questionable music taste.
 Providing mental and physical
 support in a range of activities
 including the gym.
 Spooning and perhaps sexual
 duties.
 Temporary post. Potential to
 become permanent.
 I'm a business teacher, this is my
 shit right here
 Today 20:06
 Dear Claire,
 I'm writing this letter in regards to
 the temporary/permanent position
 of Partner. Please find my desperate
 attempt at wooing below.
 I am a reasonably stable Male that
 has previous experience in dating/
 being a partner, with varying levels
 of success. Can deal with copious
 amounts of complaining over
 different forms of communication,
 very rarely leaves on read. Prefer
 outdoor activities to indoor exercise
 but can do. Will deal with drinking
 sessions professionally until shots
 are ordered though will still find way
 home. Sexual performance may
 vary.
 Thank you for taking the time to
 review my application, I look forward
 to hearing from you and hopefully
 progressing to the next stage of a
 date.
 I can't believe you actually wrote
 me a cover letter
 it's one of
 the better ones I've had so I guess
 we could do an "interview".
 Type a message...
 GIF
Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Her bio read “It’s a bio, no a CV.”

Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red @redgermz Saw this on Facebook and sent it to my brother, who is a pharmacist. Unsa man na b 10:29 AM Paracetamol OMG pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics This shit’s infuriating Oh, this is a type of shorthand! There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand. As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. Let’s break one of the words down: Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example. Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old! Isn’t language amazing~? Ya tenéis traductor.
Facebook, Omg, and Saw: Red
 @redgermz
 Saw this on Facebook and sent it to
 my brother, who is a pharmacist.
 Unsa man na b
 10:29 AM
 Paracetamol
 OMG
pseudonymsobriquet:

klubbhead:

halcyonjester:


xmagnet-o:

cfluffiness:


Someone in facebook also posted this too


Omg

Mediglyphics


This shit’s infuriating

Oh, this is a type of shorthand! 
There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand.


As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. 
Let’s break one of the words down:
Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? 
Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example.
Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. 
So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. 
Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old!
Isn’t language amazing~? 

Ya tenéis traductor.

pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics ...

Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting the make-up aisle, he decides to write this letter to his young daughter: Dear Little One, As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store. A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to find out what he meant. Flat OOOKS HAN UR LAF And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep power. Words and phrases like: Affordably gorgeous, Infallible, Flawless finish, Brilliant strength, Liquid power, Go nude, Age defying, Instant age rewind, Choose your dream, Nearly naked, and Natural beauty. When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or influence. But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her own worthiness and beauty. A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a radically different meaning: BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world. CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there. Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope. NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With abandon. INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you. AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly resist the aging of your spirit. FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be a gift to everyone who cherishes you. Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three words will remain more important to you-the last three words you say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them. Where are you the most beautiful? On the inside. From my heart to yours, Daddy you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter
Beautiful, Clothes, and Fire: A psychologist goes to Target and after visiting
 the make-up aisle, he decides to write
 this letter to his young daughter:
 Dear Little One,
 As I write this, I'm sitting in the makeup aisle of our local Target store.
 A friend recently texted me froma different makeup aisle and told me
 it felt like one of the most oppressive places in the world. I wanted to
 find out what he meant.
 Flat
 OOOKS
 HAN
 UR LAF
 And now that I'm sitting here, I'm beginning to agree with him. Words
 have power, and the words on display in this aisle have a deep
 power. Words and phrases like:
 Affordably gorgeous,
 Infallible,
 Flawless finish,
 Brilliant strength,
 Liquid power,
 Go nude,
 Age defying,
 Instant age rewind,
 Choose your dream,
 Nearly naked, and
 Natural beauty.
 When you have a daughter you start to realize she's just as strong as
 everyone else in the house-a force to be reckoned with, a soul on
 fire with the same life and gifts and passions as any man. But sitting
 in this store aisle, you also begin to realize most people won't see her
 that way. Theyll see her as a pretty face and a body to enjoy. And
 they'll tell her she has to look a certain way to have any worth or
 influence.
 But words do have power and maybe, just maybe, the words of a
 father can begin to compete with the words of the world. Maybe a
 father's words can deliver his daughter through this gauntlet of
 institutionalized shame and into a deep, unshakeable sense of her
 own worthiness and beauty.
 A father's words aren't different words, but they are words with a
 radically different meaning:
 BRILLIANT STRENGTH: May your strength be not in your fingernails
 but in your heat. May you discem in your center who you are, and
 then may you fearfully but tenaciously live it out in the world.
 CHOOSE YOUR DREAM: But not from a department store shelf. Find
 the still-quiet place within you. A real dream has been planted there.
 Discover what you want to do in the world. And when you have
 chosen, may you faithfully pursue it, with integrity and with hope.
 NAKED: The world wants you to take your clothes off. Please keep
 them on. But take your gloves off. Pull no punches. Say what is in
 your heart. Be vulnerable. Embrace risk. Love a world that barely
 knows what it means to love itself. Do so nakedly. Openly. With
 abandon.
 INFALLIBLE: May you be constantly, infallibly aware that infallibility
 doesn't exist. It's an illusion created by people interested in your
 wallet. If you choose to seek perfection, may it be in an infallible
 grace-for yourself, and for everyone around you.
 AGE DEFYING: Your skin will wrinkle and your youth will fade, but
 your soul is ageless. It will always know how to play and how to enjoy
 and how to revel in this one-chance life. May you always defiantly
 resist the aging of your spirit.
 FLAWLESS FINISH: Your finish has nothing to do with how your face
 looks today and everything to do with how your life looks on your last
 day. May your years be a preparation for that day. May you be aged
 by grace, may you grow in wisdom, and may your love become big
 enough to embrace all people. May your flawiess finish be a peaceful
 embrace of the end and the unknown that follows, and may it thus be
 a gift to everyone who cherishes you.
 Little One, you love everything pink and frilly and I wll surely
 understand if someday makeup is important to you. But I pray three
 words will remain more important to you-the last three words you
 say every night, when I ask the question: "Where are you the most
 beautiful?" Three words so bright no concealer can cover them.
 Where are you the most beautiful?
 On the inside.
 From my heart to yours,
 Daddy
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

lolzandtrollz: Psychologist Writes The Most Perfect Letter To His Daughter

Children, College, and Parents: SESAME STREET.0 frislander: elfwreck: loreweaver: cameoappearance: derinthemadscientist: cameoappearance: spockglocksrocks: sometimes there’s videos that make me happy to exist on this planet i’d reblog this even if it was a still image I know it’s a sesame street clip but seriously, who is the target audience for this? Parents watching it with their kids, I guess? literally everyone Everyone. No, really… everyone. For adults, the appeal is Sir Patrick Stewart doing a kid’s educational bit in full Shakespearean dress and style; there’s a delightful cognitive dissonance between the very serious presentation and the very simple content. For very small children, it’s educational: this is the letter “B”; here’s how it’s shaped; here’s some words you know that start with it. Oh, and here’s a word you may not be familiar with that starts with it, so you can recognize that it’s the sound that matters, and not whatever other connection you made between the other two words. For older kids: you’ve probably heard that “to be or not to be?” speech, or at least part of it, so you can enjoy some of the parody the adults are watching. Also, here’s how to describe how a letter is made - how to teach young siblings who don’t read yet, how to explain both the shape and the sound. For kids with dyslexia: here’s how you differentiate a “B” from a P or D or E. You may have to go slowly and look carefully at the exact shapes that make up the whole, but there are differences and you can learn to recognize them.  For teens or young college students: In addition to whichever parts of those are relevant to you, here’s what Shakespearean acting sounds like. Here’s how to enunciate clearly and slowly, so your audience can understand terms they may not recognize and still follow the gist of what you’re saying. If you’re reading Shakespeare in school, try sounding it out like this and see if that helps it make sense. For new RenFaire workers: Here’s how to pronounce “zounds.”  One of the most glorious things in the world is Shakespearean actors doing stuff like this.
Children, College, and Parents: SESAME STREET.0
frislander:
elfwreck:

loreweaver:

cameoappearance:

derinthemadscientist:

cameoappearance:

spockglocksrocks:

sometimes there’s videos that make me happy to exist on this planet

i’d reblog this even if it was a still image

I know it’s a sesame street clip but seriously, who is the target audience for this?

Parents watching it with their kids, I guess?

literally everyone

Everyone. No, really… everyone.
For adults, the appeal is Sir Patrick Stewart doing a kid’s educational bit in full Shakespearean dress and style; there’s a delightful cognitive dissonance between the very serious presentation and the very simple content.
For very small children, it’s educational: this is the letter “B”; here’s how it’s shaped; here’s some words you know that start with it. Oh, and here’s a word you may not be familiar with that starts with it, so you can recognize that it’s the sound that matters, and not whatever other connection you made between the other two words.
For older kids: you’ve probably heard that “to be or not to be?” speech, or at least part of it, so you can enjoy some of the parody the adults are watching. Also, here’s how to describe how a letter is made - how to teach young siblings who don’t read yet, how to explain both the shape and the sound.
For kids with dyslexia: here’s how you differentiate a “B” from a P or D or E. You may have to go slowly and look carefully at the exact shapes that make up the whole, but there are differences and you can learn to recognize them. 
For teens or young college students: In addition to whichever parts of those are relevant to you, here’s what Shakespearean acting sounds like. Here’s how to enunciate clearly and slowly, so your audience can understand terms they may not recognize and still follow the gist of what you’re saying. If you’re reading Shakespeare in school, try sounding it out like this and see if that helps it make sense.
For new RenFaire workers: Here’s how to pronounce “zounds.” 

One of the most glorious things in the world is Shakespearean actors doing stuff like this.

frislander: elfwreck: loreweaver: cameoappearance: derinthemadscientist: cameoappearance: spockglocksrocks: sometimes there’s videos t...

Drunk, Fml, and Friday: Emplovee Saves Child From Kidnapper, Instead Of Promotion Gets This Letter Saying He's Fired This is Dillon Reagan. He recently stopped a child from getting kidnapped while he was at work OREGON EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT PO Box 14135 Satem, Oregon 97309 5068 (503) 292-2057, (541) 388-6207 or (877) 345 3484 (tol tree) Fax to (866) 345 1878 Administrative Decision OILLON T REAGAN Date Issued June 29,2017 Appeal Deadline Date: uly 19,2017 Cust ID: OUTCOME/RESULTADO. You are ALLOWED benefits on this claim, if otherwise eligible. Se le OTORGAN los beneficios en este reclamo, si de otra manera es elegible. FINDINGS You were employed by THE HOME DEPOT until June 19, 2017 when you were fired because you assisted the police in preventing a kidnapping. This was not a willful or wantonly negligent violation of the standards of behavior an employer has the right to expect of an employee LEGAL CONCLUSION/CONCLUSION JURÍDICA: You were fired but not for misconduct connected with work Usted no fue despedido por mala conducta relacionada con el trabajo. Dillon Reagan Jun 9 at 11:21pm HoPot Update: The Friday before Mother's Day, I was involved in a kidnapping attempt at my place of work. A woman had been assaulted and her child had been abducted by a drunk, violent man who was making a quick exit with the child in his arms. My co-worker and I called the police and followed their directions to follow at a distance to make sure they could find them when the squad care arrived on scene. Because of the actions of my co-worker and myself, that child was rescued from his abductor and the man was arrested on the spot. Today, Home Depot terminated my employment. I was fired for stopping a kidnapper from successfully abducting a child. FML chrisray-the-lariat-king: pon-raul: waisted-daisiess: thetrippytrip: If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times better than his last one #youknowwhatImean BLOW THIS SHIT UP That’s Home Depot national policy 101 If an armed attacker comes into the store and threatens you, you will be fired for any form of retaliation, they tell you this on like day 1 More reasons Home Depot is Trash
Drunk, Fml, and Friday: Emplovee Saves Child From Kidnapper,
 Instead Of Promotion Gets This Letter
 Saying He's Fired

 This is Dillon Reagan. He recently
 stopped a child from getting
 kidnapped while he was at work

 OREGON EMPLOYMENT DEPARTMENT
 PO Box 14135 Satem, Oregon 97309 5068
 (503) 292-2057, (541) 388-6207 or (877) 345 3484 (tol tree)
 Fax to (866) 345 1878
 Administrative Decision
 OILLON T REAGAN
 Date Issued
 June 29,2017
 Appeal Deadline Date:
 uly 19,2017
 Cust ID:
 OUTCOME/RESULTADO.
 You are ALLOWED benefits on this claim, if otherwise eligible.
 Se le OTORGAN los beneficios en este reclamo, si de otra manera es elegible.
 FINDINGS
 You were employed by THE HOME DEPOT until June 19, 2017 when you were fired because you assisted
 the police in preventing a kidnapping. This was not a willful or wantonly negligent violation of the
 standards of behavior an employer has the right to expect of an employee
 LEGAL CONCLUSION/CONCLUSION JURÍDICA:
 You were fired but not for misconduct connected with work
 Usted no fue despedido por mala conducta relacionada con el trabajo.

 Dillon Reagan
 Jun 9 at 11:21pm
 HoPot Update:
 The Friday before Mother's Day, I was involved in a
 kidnapping attempt at my place of work.
 A woman had been assaulted and her child had been
 abducted by a drunk, violent man who was making a
 quick exit with the child in his arms.
 My co-worker and I called the police and followed their
 directions to follow at a distance to make sure they
 could find them when the squad care arrived on scene.
 Because of the actions of my co-worker and myself,
 that child was rescued from his abductor and the man
 was arrested on the spot.
 Today, Home Depot terminated my employment.
 I was fired for stopping a kidnapper from successfully
 abducting a child.
 FML
chrisray-the-lariat-king:

pon-raul:
waisted-daisiess:

thetrippytrip:


If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times better than his last one #youknowwhatImean

BLOW THIS SHIT UP 


That’s Home Depot national policy 101
If an armed attacker comes into the store and threatens you, you will be fired for any form of retaliation, they tell you this on like day 1 

More reasons Home Depot is Trash

chrisray-the-lariat-king: pon-raul: waisted-daisiess: thetrippytrip: If he manages to get that story viral, he’ll get a job 5 times bett...

Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details. Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snickt jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message ABORT MISSION This is fucking scary I dont get it.. @explainingthejoke The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads:  nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. With all due respect, Lemony Snicket Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy! This isn’t a joke. It is just cute. Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.
Being Alone, Children, and Creepy: via VERY FAST DELIVERY

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are
 eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from mc, both of which may leave you
 feverish, shaking, and alone.
 However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that
 never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear fried
 Consequ ntly. I m sending you a lette containing Very Few Details.
 Accept my hum le thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety. as well as the
 safet of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken.
 With all due respect,
 Lemony Snickt
jesstheespeon:

explainingthejoke:

popsicle-prince:

dark-clifford:

pooguns:

frenchtugboat:

bowieonthebelafonte:

When i was 10, I sent a letter to Lemony Snicket. I didn’t receive a personal reply, but I got one of these. 7 years later I realized that there’s a message

ABORT MISSION

This is fucking scary

I dont get it..


@explainingthejoke

The images are of a reply from Lemony Snicket, an author known for his A Series of Unfortunate Events, a book series aimed at older children. The reply is written in the voice of his narrator character. The narrator shares his pen name and frequently writes in vague references to the reader, who is included in the mystery as the correspondent to whom Lemony Snicket is sending his information. 
The reply is titled “via VERY FAST DELIVERY.” The letters V.F.D. play a big part in the series. The note reads: 

 nly two things are more hazardous than writing to me during these times. They are eating mussels in July and receiving a rep y from me, both of which may leave you feverish, shaking, and alone. 
However, it c n also be very uncomfortable to wait day a ter day for a reply that never comes, as I have since my last letter to a dear frie d. 
Consequ ntly, I am sending you a lette  containing Very Few Details. 
Accept my humble thanks and fervent wishes for your continued safety, as well as the safety of the familiar-looking neighbor with whom you have never spoken. 
With all due respect, 
Lemony Snicket 

Several letters from this note are deliberately missing. If the reader wrote down each letter that was missing, they would spell out: OLAF NEARBY 
Count Olaf is the major villain in the series. Lemony Snicket is writing in code, suggesting that he can’t be candid because Olaf may be observing him or the reader. Creepy!
This isn’t a joke. It is just cute.


Dear reader, I sincerely hope you don’t have a sizable family fortune lying about.

jesstheespeon: explainingthejoke: popsicle-prince: dark-clifford: pooguns: frenchtugboat: bowieonthebelafonte: When i was 10, I sent ...

Doctor, Facebook, and Omg: Red @redgermz Saw this on Facebook and sent it to my brother, who is a pharmacist. Unsa man na b 10:29 AM Paracetamol OMG celticpyro: mami-kouga0: r4cs0: pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also posted this too Omg Mediglyphics This shit’s infuriating Oh, this is a type of shorthand! There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand. As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. Let’s break one of the words down: Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example. Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old! Isn’t language amazing~? I S2G if I actually have to learn this shit later… I can’t believe doctors have their own secret Doctor Glyphs like some secret circle of witchcraft. o_o
Doctor, Facebook, and Omg: Red
 @redgermz
 Saw this on Facebook and sent it to
 my brother, who is a pharmacist.
 Unsa man na b
 10:29 AM
 Paracetamol
 OMG
celticpyro:

mami-kouga0:

r4cs0:

pseudonymsobriquet:

klubbhead:

halcyonjester:


xmagnet-o:

cfluffiness:


Someone in facebook also posted this too


Omg

Mediglyphics


This shit’s infuriating

Oh, this is a type of shorthand! 
There are 3 main types, but from my research, this looks to be American Gregg Shorthand.


As you can see, there are set symbols for every letter. 
Let’s break one of the words down:
Using the Gregg Alphabet as reference, we can see most of the letters in “atrophied” are present. But why no “o” vowel, and why is “ph” written as “f”? 
Simple. In shorthand, you cut out all vowels in a word when writing it down, with the exception of words that BEGIN or END with a vowel (hence the “a” at the start being present), or like in the “i” in “atrophied”, to make it more readable when the sound could be harder to distinguish if it isn’t written. In “atrophied” if the the “i” isn’t written, it could be hard to tell if the writer meant a “fud”, “fad”, “fod” or “fid” sound, for example.
Also, since Shorthand is a phonetic writing system, you are encouraged to write down the phonetic sounds of words rather than the actual letter blends - in this case, write an “f” instead of a “ph”. 
So in actuality, these aren’t just meaningless scribbles - it’s Gregg Shorthand, a writing system developed to take down notes more quickly than when written out in full, which is very useful in a medical or journalistic environment. 
Some people can even write over 100 words in a minute! And, it’s been in use since John Robert Gregg invented it in 1888! Wow! So old!
Isn’t language amazing~? 



I S2G if I actually have to learn this shit later…

I can’t believe doctors have their own secret Doctor Glyphs like some secret circle of witchcraft. o_o

celticpyro: mami-kouga0: r4cs0: pseudonymsobriquet: klubbhead: halcyonjester: xmagnet-o: cfluffiness: Someone in facebook also pos...