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Curving, Fashion, and Head: Pendulum financialeconomicsexplainedus: POSTED:  10/09/2019 The Stock market, as well as the overall economy, moves between a boom and bust cycle - it basically moves between growth and value investing - it is that simple! After a recession, when the whole stock market cycle, the business cycle and the credit cycle have gone bust:  interest rates are low to super low, the Fed is trying to stimulate the economy - Investors start to look at Growth Stocks/ Growth-Oriented Mutual Funds (a growth stock is one that generally averages about 20% growth per year along with the technology sectors like semiconductors and Biotech/Pharmaceuticals)….. Small Cap stocks/Mutual Funds also take off - money is cheap to borrow to fund R&D, marketing expenses, etc. But Value stocks/Mutual Funds also start to rise:  A RISING TIDE LIFTS ALL BOATS - was the 90′s moniker! Hence, the market starts to take off:  as markets start to heat up and the economy starts to OVERHEAT - the Fed starts to raise interests to COOL the market down - like in November 1999 - the Fed had raised the Federal Funds rate way up to a whopping 6.5% to try and cool down the economy and to put a damper on the Dot.com Boom - fueled stock market!  Those who forget history do not recall that the yield curve inverted in 1998; the Federal Funds rate was too high in 1999 (FYI side note:  the “average” technology mutual fund in 1999 was up 100%!!!!!!!!!!!! by years’ end)  Guess what?  The whole market crashed in April 2000! So from that time to about mid-June 2000 - the market went nowhere!   Value investing and investing in Bonds (like Intermediate and Long-term Treasury Bonds (backed by the full faith of the US government) went up from June 2000 to December 2000 (Berkshire Hathaway A shares went up over 85% that year within 6 months!).  Warren Buffet?  Look him up!  Treasuries also did extremely well - like one “Talking Head” has been quoted as saying - “There is always a Bull Market somewhere”…… And the whole process starts over again from a boom to bust cycle, about every 10 years or so……the Real Estate Market moves in a boom to bust cycle about every 7 years…. MY OPINION – stay the course with Value-oriented Investing:  it works in both up and down markets!  A mix of Value Mutual Funds and Treasury Bond Mutual Funds weather ALL storms - OVER THE LONG HAUL - and yes, expect a few hiccups along the way too LOL!)….Exchange Traded Funds (ETF’s) investing will work too - but, I like Mutual Funds - the minimums are $3,000.00 however (at least) to start investing in a SINGLE fund.  DO YOUR RESEARCH/DUE DILIGENCE ON THE WEB and also on YOU TUBE! Guys - the overall stock market climbs in a stair-step fashion:  up, then sideways/down and then up again!  Invest for the long term (like 30-50+ years)….YOU WILL BE A WINNER!  Be it an investment account or a retirement account or BOTH:  like a personal investment account and a ROTH IRA or an employer-sponsored 401k Plan along with a personal investment account. Dollar-Cost Average your contributions to personal investment/ROTH accounts; that is invest the same $ amount each and every month - regardless, whether the market is up or down!  Ignore the noise!  Ignore the Talking Heads”. CURRENT MARKET :  MY OPINION Me personally, I am accumulating cash and letting my current investment portfolio just ride along with this geo-politically fueled/baseless rate cut economic environment …Impeachment talks, China Trade War escalation, Iran concerns, Saudi Arabia bombings, Japan-South Korea tensions as well as renewed North Korea tension over prior failed talks, the American Farmers plight due to the trade war, negative return/yield rates on European Bonds, Brexit concerns, a dollar that is too strong, etc. When American companies start to cut back, lay people off, these people can not keep spending to keep GDP/the economy growing, then these people can not pay their mortgages/auto loans/credit cards….Will it be “somewhat” similar to 2008… all over again? I have no professional opinion nor do I have a crystal ball – Maybe the FED will engineer a “SOFT” Landing”…..this time: they never did in the past when “Bubbles” Greenspan or “Helicopter Ben” Bernake were FEDERAL RESERVE CHAIRMEN. THOSE THAT FORGET HISTORY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT…. Flash
Curving, Fashion, and Head: Pendulum
financialeconomicsexplainedus:
POSTED:  10/09/2019
The Stock market, as well as the overall economy, moves between a boom and bust cycle - it basically moves between growth and value investing - it is that simple!
After a recession, when the whole stock market cycle, the business cycle and the credit cycle have gone bust:  interest rates are low to super low, the Fed is trying to stimulate the economy - Investors start to look at Growth Stocks/ Growth-Oriented Mutual Funds (a growth stock is one that generally averages about 20% growth per year along with the technology sectors like semiconductors and Biotech/Pharmaceuticals)….. Small Cap stocks/Mutual Funds also take off - money is cheap to borrow to fund R&D, marketing expenses, etc. 
But Value stocks/Mutual Funds also start to rise:  A RISING TIDE LIFTS ALL BOATS - was the 90′s moniker!
Hence, the market starts to take off:  as markets start to heat up and the economy starts to OVERHEAT - the Fed starts to raise interests to COOL the market down - like in November 1999 - the Fed had raised the Federal Funds rate way up to a whopping 6.5% to try and cool down the economy and to put a damper on the Dot.com Boom - fueled stock market!  
Those who forget history do not recall that the yield curve inverted in 1998; the Federal Funds rate was too high in 1999 (FYI side note:  the “average” technology mutual fund in 1999 was up 100%!!!!!!!!!!!! by years’ end)  Guess what?  The whole market crashed in April 2000!
So from that time to about mid-June 2000 - the market went nowhere!   Value investing and investing in Bonds (like Intermediate and Long-term Treasury Bonds (backed by the full faith of the US government) went up from June 2000 to December 2000 (Berkshire Hathaway A shares went up over 85% that year within 6 months!).  Warren Buffet?  Look him up!  Treasuries also did extremely well - like one “Talking Head” has been quoted as saying - “There is always a Bull Market somewhere”……
And the whole process starts over again from a boom to bust cycle, about every 10 years or so……the Real Estate Market moves in a boom to bust cycle about every 7 years….
MY OPINION – stay the course with Value-oriented Investing:  it works in both up and down markets!  A mix of Value Mutual Funds and Treasury Bond Mutual Funds weather ALL storms - OVER THE LONG HAUL - and yes, expect a few hiccups along the way too LOL!)….Exchange Traded Funds (ETF’s) investing will work too - but, I like Mutual Funds - the minimums are $3,000.00 however (at least) to start investing in a SINGLE fund.  DO YOUR RESEARCH/DUE DILIGENCE ON THE WEB and also on YOU TUBE!
Guys - the overall stock market climbs in a stair-step fashion:  up, then sideways/down and then up again!  Invest for the long term (like 30-50+ years)….YOU WILL BE A WINNER!  Be it an investment account or a retirement account or BOTH:  like a personal investment account and a ROTH IRA or an employer-sponsored 401k Plan along with a personal investment account.
Dollar-Cost Average your contributions to personal investment/ROTH accounts; that is invest the same $ amount each and every month - regardless, whether the market is up or down!  Ignore the noise!  Ignore the Talking Heads”.
CURRENT MARKET :  MY OPINION
Me personally, I am accumulating cash and letting my current investment portfolio just ride along with this geo-politically fueled/baseless rate cut economic environment …Impeachment talks, China Trade War escalation, Iran concerns, Saudi Arabia bombings, Japan-South Korea tensions as well as renewed North Korea tension over prior failed talks, the American Farmers plight due to the trade war, negative return/yield rates on European Bonds, Brexit concerns, a dollar that is too strong, etc.
When American companies start to cut back, lay people off, these people can not keep spending to keep GDP/the economy growing, then these people can not pay their mortgages/auto loans/credit cards….Will it be “somewhat” similar to 2008… all over again? 
I have no professional opinion nor do I have a crystal ball – Maybe the FED will engineer a “SOFT” Landing”…..this time: they never did in the past when “Bubbles” Greenspan or “Helicopter Ben” Bernake were FEDERAL RESERVE CHAIRMEN.
THOSE THAT FORGET HISTORY ARE DOOMED TO REPEAT IT….
Flash

financialeconomicsexplainedus: POSTED:  10/09/2019 The Stock market, as well as the overall economy, moves between a boom and bust cycle - i...

Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent @Independent Here's what you should do in the event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/ 2piOhjW 8/9/17, 3:19 PM NBC News @NBCNews NBC NEWS "Don't run. Get inside". What experts say to do in case of a nuclear attack nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt 8/9/17, 9:30 AM CN CNN @CNN Hawaii is preparing in case of a North Korea attack. Experts say you have about 15 min. to take cover after a launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9 taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quietrain: shesheistyy: tripprophet: weavemama: ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x] This shit is wild. Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all. ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things. 1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked 1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. Good luck in the future apocalypse! Reblogged with improved readability! Look whats Relevant again… I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool. History repeats and all that jazz. After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything… We’ve been here before. It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd. Stay safe. Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War. Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this” https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/ Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast. If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin. And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit? very absofuckingluteky horrifying
Cats, Chicago, and Clock: The Independent
 @Independent
 Here's what you should do in the
 event of a nuclear attack ind.pn/
 2piOhjW
 8/9/17, 3:19 PM

 NBC News
 @NBCNews
 NBC NEWS
 "Don't run. Get inside". What experts
 say to do in case of a nuclear attack
 nbcnews.to/2VNWTmt
 8/9/17, 9:30 AM

 CN
 CNN
 @CNN
 Hawaii is preparing in case of a North
 Korea attack. Experts say you have
 about 15 min. to take cover after a
 launch cnn.it/2upXdZ9
taraljc:

lemonsharks:


nikkoliferous:

biggest-goldiest-spoon:

zoanzon:

missmwynter:

madlyinlov3onda:

oakenroots:

oakenroots:


quietrain:

shesheistyy:

tripprophet:


weavemama:

ladies and gentlemen we have officially reached the “in case a nuclear attack happens” phase……. [x]

This shit is wild.


Wtf a table finna do for anybody?? There’s basically nothing you can do but die

they’re doing this to give people a sense of safety , even though we full well know this won’t work at all.

ALRIGHT KIDDOS LISTEN UP! I did emergency management for the air force which involves this fun thing called Plume Modelling (aka chart the path of death for a given bomb based on its payload, distance, type of detonation, etc) and let me tell you some actual LEGIT™ methods of minimizing damage to your life. 
Unless you are within the vaporization zone (where you turn into a fucking shadow because of your proximity to the blast) there is a specific order of events nuke blasts cause and there are ways to protect against these things.

1. There is this thing called a flash to bang ratio. It is really freaking important. The first wave from a nuke is a blinding flash of light that can literally FRY YOUR RETINAS. If you believe that a nuke has just dropped on your city, HIDE AND DONT LOOK AT IT. @shesheistyy a good solid table is good for this but you’re way less likely to go blind if you get to an internal room with no windows, especially one below ground. 
2. After the flash there will be the bang. If the time between the flash and the bang, counted in Mississippi seconds, is more than 10 seconds you MIGHT survive and just die of cancer later. If it’s between five and 10 buckle up kiddos because the worst is yet to come. And well if it’s less than 3 you won’t live long enough to remember this. These are loose estimates only. 
3. The “bang” usually announces the arrival of the fire ball. Yes. A massive heat shock will erupt from the core of the bomb and light pretty much every thing it comes into contact with, including your flesh, on fire. Back to that whole “metal buildings underground” thing. There’s really no getting around the whole getting lit on fire if you’re too close thing. 
4. Fallout. When the bomb goes off it sucks all of the shit it just vaporized up into the air with it and as the blast cools, it begins to rain down the radioactive fucked molten wreckage onto everyone in a huge radius. Just because the fallout you can see has stopped doesn’t mean the molecular radiation has stopped. 

The survival factors for nuclear blasts are time, distance and shielding. The longer it takes for it to get to you the less of it there is. The further away from the source the less dead you are. Want to survive? Put 6 feet of concrete and/or 2 feet of lead between you and everything else. Yes. Those loons with their bunkers actually got something right. 

NOW! About radiation! If you are so fortunate as to survive one of these blasts and not be vaporized or burnt to a crisp or die of radiation poisoning within hours, you need to understand the types of radiation. 

Gamma radiation is the most “severe” in that it can penetrate your flesh through your clothes and house, causing severe illness. Gamma radiation fucks with your cell walls and disrupts your DNA. It kills you in hours, months or years. Some people survive decades. Think of gamma like the sun. Too much exposure gives you cancer. 

Now Beta, on the other hand, think of Beta particles like sand on the beach. Its in the air. Its in your clothes, in the creases of your fingers. But beta particles can burn through your flesh or get into your blood stream through open wounds. Luckily they can be stopped with nonporous materials, like rubber, or foil. Make that two points for the loony conspiracy theorists. Aluminum foil does protect from beta radiation. 

And finally, Alpha radiation. Think of alpha Radiation like dust motes. It takes a high density filter to prevent you from breathing them in and if you’re surrounded by rubble they’re probably everywhere. Alpha particles do the same thing as beta particles in terms of getting into your system and wrecking your shit. 

So! Survival? Most likely based on dumb luck. But! If you think you’re being nuked
1. get under ground or at least to an internal room of the building if no other options are available. 
2. CLOSE YOUR EYES. Curl into the fetal position to protect your orifices and vital organs from gamma radiation and get low to the ground to reduce damage from the blast and potential ceiling collapse. 
3.You will still feel the flash pass over you. Count. One, two, three… If you aren’t vaporized yet keep counting. Pray to every god ever imagined that you get to 10 before you hear the bang. 
4. Bang. Try not to shit yourself. The fireball will follow almost instantly if you’re in range. Be prepared to start rolling to put yourself out. 
5. Fallout rains down. Do not open your eyes. Do not stop praying. As hard as it is because time will feel as if it has slowed to a crawl, try not to leave your position for at least 30 minutes, although 60 minutes is better. At 30 minutes, only 60% of the potential fall out has fallen but by 60 minutes, up to 90% may have come down. 
6. Remember, Alpha and beta radiation are particles. Do not put anything in your body that has not been thoroughly washed, dusted of or came from a sealed package. Point 3 for the conspiracy theorists, hot pockets and canned food are probably still safe. Do not leave shelter without goggles, and try to wrap yourself in a minimum of those weird space blankets but rubber and metal lined suits (like hazmat suits) are best for the job. 

Good luck in the future apocalypse!


Reblogged with improved readability!

Look whats Relevant again…


I wonder if there’s any where to watch White Light, Black Rain. Saw it back in highschool.

History repeats and all that jazz.
After all, It’s not like ‘duck and cover’ and other nuclear protection methods of dubious quality weren’t a mainstream in the Cold War or anything…
We’ve been here before.
It’s just the first time around for us younger crowd.


Stay safe. 

Reminder that according to the Doomsday Clock, we are currently at greater threat of nuclear annihilation than we were even at the height of the Cold War.


Nukemap for “how far from ground zero must I be to survive this”
https://nuclearsecrecy.com/nukemap/
Like… Manhattan might be toast but that doesn’t mean the citizens of Long Island shouldn’t know how to mitigate their terrible fuckin situation just because Manhattan is toast.
If downtown Chicago is at the center of a nuclear bombing when I’m at work I’m dead, but if I’m home I have a chance to shelter in place and then bag up the cats and go crash with friends in Wisconsin.
And also how absofuckinglutely horrifying is it that we need to know this shit?


very absofuckingluteky horrifying

taraljc: lemonsharks: nikkoliferous: biggest-goldiest-spoon: zoanzon: missmwynter: madlyinlov3onda: oakenroots: oakenroots: quiet...

Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers in the world. After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of hard labour to reading six lines aloud. Dearest creature in creation, Study English pronunciation. I will teach you in my verse Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse. I will keep you, Suzy, busy, Make your head with heat grow dizzy. Tear in eye, your dress will tear. So shall I! Oh hear my prayer. Just compare heart, beard, and heard, Dies and diet, lord and word, Sword and sward, retain and Britain. (Mind the latter, how it's written.) Now I surely will not plague you With such words as plaque and ague. But be careful how you speak: Say break and steak, but bleak and streak Cloven, oven, how and low, Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe. Hear me say, devoid of trickery, Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore, Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles, Exiles, similes, and reviles; Scholar, vicar, and cigar, Solar, mica, war and far; One, anemone, Balmoral, Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel; Gertrude, German, wind and mind, Scene, Melpomene, mankind. Billet does not rhyme with ballet, Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet. Blood and flood are not like food, Nor is mould like should and would. Viscous, viscount, load and broad, Toward, to forward, to reward. And your pronunciation's OK When you correctly say croquet, Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve, Friend and fiend, alive and live. Ivy, privy, famous; clamour And enamour rhyme with hammer. River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb, Doll and roll and some and home. Stranger does not rhyme with anger, Neither does devour with clangour. Souls but foul, haunt but aunt Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant, Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger, And then singer, ginger, linger, Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge, Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age. Query does not rhyme with very, Nor does fury sound like bury. Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth. Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath. Though the differences seem little, We say actual but victual. Refer does not rhyme with deafer. FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer. Mint, pint, senate and sedate; Dull, bull, and George ate late. Scenic, Arabic, Pacific, Science, conscience, scientific Liberty, library, heave and heaven, Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven. We say hallowed, but allowed, People, leopard, towed, but vowed. Mark the differences, moreover, Between mover, cover, clover; Leeches,breeches, wise, precise Chalice, but police and lice; Camel, constable, unstable, Principle, disciple, label. Petal, panel, and canal, Wait, surp Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair, Senator, spectator, mayor. Tour, but our and succour, four. Gas, alas, and Arkansas. Sea, idea, Korea, area, Psalm, Maria, but malaria. Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean. Doctrine, turpentine, marine. Compare alien with Italian, Dandelion and battalion. plait, promise, pal. Sally with ally, yea, ye, Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key. Say aver, but ever, fever, Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver. Heron, granary, canary. Crevice and device and aerie. Face, but preface, not efface. Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas. Large, but target, gin, give, verging, Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging. Ear, but earn and wear and tear Do not rhyme with here but ere. Seven is right, but so is even, Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen, Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk, Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work. Pronunciation (think of Psyche!) Is a paling stout and spikey? Won't it make you lose your wits, Writing groats and saying grits? It's a dark abyss or tunnel: Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale, Islington and Isle of Wight, Housewife, verdict and indict. Finally, which rhymes with enough, Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough? Hiccough has the sound of cup. My advice is to give up!!! you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem
Advice, Alive, and Ass: English Pronunciation
 If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will
 be speaking English better than 90 % of the native English speakers
 in the world.
 After trying the verses, a Frenchman said he'd prefer six months of
 hard labour to reading six lines aloud.
 Dearest creature in creation,
 Study English pronunciation.
 I will teach you in my verse
 Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.
 I will keep you, Suzy, busy,
 Make your head with heat grow dizzy.
 Tear in eye, your dress will tear.
 So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.
 Just compare heart, beard, and heard,
 Dies and diet, lord and word,
 Sword and sward, retain and Britain.
 (Mind the latter, how it's written.)
 Now I surely will not plague you
 With such words as plaque and ague.
 But be careful how you speak:
 Say break and steak, but bleak and streak
 Cloven, oven, how and low,
 Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.
 Hear me say, devoid of trickery,
 Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,
 Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,
 Exiles, similes, and reviles;
 Scholar, vicar, and cigar,
 Solar, mica, war and far;
 One, anemone, Balmoral,
 Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;
 Gertrude, German, wind and mind,
 Scene, Melpomene, mankind.
 Billet does not rhyme with ballet,
 Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.
 Blood and flood are not like food,
 Nor is mould like should and would.
 Viscous, viscount, load and broad,
 Toward, to forward, to reward.
 And your pronunciation's OK
 When you correctly say croquet,
 Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,
 Friend and fiend, alive and live.
 Ivy, privy, famous; clamour
 And enamour rhyme with hammer.
 River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,
 Doll and roll and some and home.
 Stranger does not rhyme with anger,
 Neither does devour with clangour.
 Souls but foul, haunt but aunt
 Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,
 Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,
 And then singer, ginger, linger,
 Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,
 Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.
 Query does not rhyme with very,
 Nor does fury sound like bury.
 Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.
 Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.
 Though the differences seem little,
 We say actual but victual.
 Refer does not rhyme with deafer.
 FeOffer does, and zephyr, heifer.
 Mint, pint, senate and sedate;
 Dull, bull, and George ate late.
 Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,
 Science, conscience, scientific
 Liberty, library, heave and heaven,
 Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.
 We say hallowed, but allowed,
 People, leopard, towed, but vowed.
 Mark the differences, moreover,
 Between mover, cover, clover;
 Leeches,breeches, wise, precise
 Chalice, but police and lice;
 Camel, constable, unstable,
 Principle, disciple, label.
 Petal, panel, and canal,
 Wait, surp
 Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,
 Senator, spectator, mayor.
 Tour, but our and succour, four.
 Gas, alas, and Arkansas.
 Sea, idea, Korea, area,
 Psalm, Maria, but malaria.
 Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.
 Doctrine, turpentine, marine.
 Compare alien with Italian,
 Dandelion and battalion.
 plait, promise, pal.
 Sally with ally, yea, ye,
 Eye,I, ay, aye, whey, and key.
 Say aver, but ever, fever,
 Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.
 Heron, granary, canary.
 Crevice and device and aerie.
 Face, but preface, not efface.
 Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bas.
 Large, but target, gin, give, verging,
 Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.
 Ear, but earn and wear and tear
 Do not rhyme with here but ere.
 Seven is right, but so is even,
 Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,
 Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,
 Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.
 Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)
 Is a paling stout and spikey?
 Won't it make you lose your wits,
 Writing groats and saying grits?
 It's a dark abyss or tunnel:
 Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,
 Islington and Isle of Wight,
 Housewife, verdict and indict.
 Finally, which rhymes with enough,
 Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?
 Hiccough has the sound of cup.
 My advice is to give up!!!
 you should probably go to TheMetaPicture.com
lolzandtrollz:

Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

lolzandtrollz: Excellent English Pronunciation Poem

Target, Tumblr, and Blog: werewolfblake: femmesnufkin: everythingstarstuff: Grasshopper café South Korea the……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be…. Roommates.
Target, Tumblr, and Blog: werewolfblake:
femmesnufkin:

everythingstarstuff:


Grasshopper café South Korea
the……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….


Roommates.

werewolfblake: femmesnufkin: everythingstarstuff: Grasshopper café South Korea the……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’...

Tumblr, Blog, and South Korea: femmesnufkin: everythingstarstuff: Grasshopper café South Koreathe……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….
Tumblr, Blog, and South Korea: femmesnufkin:

everythingstarstuff:


Grasshopper café South Koreathe……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….

femmesnufkin: everythingstarstuff: Grasshopper café South Koreathe……. grasshoppers …. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….